Ken Davison’s eyes shoot open. He looks around the darkness of his bedroom, trying to get his bearings. He glances over and the faint red glow of the numbers on his alarm clock: 3:37. He rolls over to find the other half of the bed not only unoccupied, but cold. This means Kyra has been out of bed for quite some time… again. His beloved has not been sleeping right for months and Ken just goes along with it, figuring that Kyra will open up about it when the time is right.
’That time had better be soon,’ he thinks to himself as he turns his body. His eyes shoot open as they hit the cold floor, missing his slippers. He grabs his robe off the bedpost and stands up, tying it around the waist and walking downstairs, forgoing his slippers.
Down in the living room, Kyra sits by herself on the sofa - her eyes heavy with exhaustion. She wanted so badly to go back upstairs and lay down, but she just couldn’t do it. So she relegated herself to simply sitting on the couch, staring off into space until she heard Adina get up in a few hours. Then she’d have a distraction to keep her mind off of the thought of sleep.
Ken nears the bottom of the staircase, the creek of the bottom step catching Kyra’s attention. He looks over at Kyra with an exasperated look on his face. He’s not angry with her, quite the opposite. He’s been worried. Ken makes his way over to the couch and gently sits down next to Kyra.
“What’s going on? This has been going on for, what, a month and a half? I’ve sat here, waiting for you to open up, but I don’t know if I can take this much longer. I hate seeing you hurt.”Ken sits there watching as Kyra stares off into space.
“HELLOOOOOOOO!!!” he says while snapping his fingers.
“Earth to planet KJ, This is your captain speaking.”Nothing. Defeated, Ken puts his arm around Kyra and pulls her in. She nuzzles up against his chest, showing that she’s not totally despondent. Ken strokes her hair to try to comfort her, not knowing what else to do.
“I’m sorry.” Kyra finally said into his chest, sighing deeply.
In the moments where she could think clearly, Kyra knew she had to come clean about what had made her so out of sorts, if not for her sake, but for Ken’s. The patience he had with her was beyond amazing, and she knew she was a lucky woman. But how long would that last? Her sleepless nights wore on him just as much as it did herself. She had told Lucy she would tell Ken. Kyra just wasn’t used to feeling this out of control. And part of her worried what Ken would think of her when she finally told him what had been ailing her.
“You know that no matter what it is, I’m not going anywhere,” Ken said, as reassuring as he could muster.
“After all we’ve been through, I cannot picture my life any other way. You are my world. I would do anything for you. I mean, do you known anyone else who’s significant other has tried to murder their ex-boyfriend live on pay-per-view?”Ken was always especially proud of that match. Back in the Carnage days, he had faced Jack Michaels, Kyra’s ex, in a match where the only way to win was for their second to throw in the towel. Ken won by continually jabbing a screwdriver into his adversary’s arm. That wasn’t what made him proud. The source of his pride was the fact he wanted to win that match, not for himself, but for Kyra. No one had ever made Ken feel so selfless.
“All kidding aside, mama, I’m worried about you. I’m worried about us.” Ken was making sure to choose his words very carefully.
“I don’t want this to be something that you hold in and cause things… I don’t know. I just know when I hold shit in, it never ends well.”
“I know.” Kyra said, pulling away from Ken so that she could look him in the eyes.
“And I’ve got a real bad habit of doing just that. But it’s not because I don’t trust you, or anything like that.”Her chest tightened as she felt the corners of her eyes stinging with tears. The lack of sleep was making it harder and harder for Kyra to keep her emotions in check. Ken sees this and grabs a tissue so he can wipe the tears from her eyes before they fall. Kyra hates crying.
“It’s because we don’t trust ourselves. We both put up our walls because of… reasons. We don’t need to talk about them. It’s hard to let those walls down. I get that. Just…” Ken hesitates. Sometimes he struggles to find the right words.
“When shit hits the fan, it comes down to the two of us. I know things with Lucy haven’t always been the best. I’d like to think she’d be there, too. But, honestly, I don’t really know her that well, so I’m not going to count on her. It's you and I against the world. I’m not sure what else I can really say.”Ken can see Kyra is holding something back. He doesn’t know what or why, just that it is happening.
“You know when Carnage shut down, I was done. I never told you that, but I was ready to retire. I had my moment in the sun and I was ready to ride off into the sunset. Hell, I was done the moment that I beat Amber for the World Title. After my heart attack, I wanted to prove to myself that I still had it. All I wanted was one more World Championship, then I found something better, more valuable, than any championship. I found you, which led to finding US, which led to everything I hold dear. So, whatever it is that's troubling you, lay it on me, mama. I can handle it.”Kyra nods her head, and takes a deep breath. Before she can say anything, Ken starts talking again.
“Wait, there’s something else. After Carnage closed, I didn’t know if we would survive as a couple. Carnage was so much of who we were at the time. I worried that without having that to connect us… yeah. I was scared shitless. I probably shouldn’t be sitting here pressuring you to tell me what’s going on when I hid that. I’m sorry.”“It’s okay..” Kyra said, laying her head on Ken’s shoulder.
“Besides, you haven’t been pressuring me. You’re just worried. Hell, I’ve been worried too. I just don’t know how to express it.”Kyra stopped and sighed again, wrapping her arms around his arm and squeezing it tight.
“Everytime I go to sleep… I relive what I did to Lucy. Except she didn’t get as lucky as she did that night.” She closes her eyes and pauses for a moment, trying to keep her composure.
“What kind of person does what I did? I’m terrible.”What she did was almost kill her sister. There was a match. It was bad. That was literally all Ken knew of the situation. It was all that he wanted to know. He was sure he could find the match online if he wanted. He didn't.
“I don’t know exactly what you did, to be honest, I don’t want to know. You and Lucy seem to be on speaking terms now. I mean, if you weren’t, why would she and Rogan randomly show up. I know I sure as hell didn’t give her my address. Have you talked to her about how you’re feeling?”
“I almost killed her, Ken.” Kyra said, her voice strained.
“I’m the reason she’s got that scar on her neck. I put her in the hospital for… God only knows how long. But that’s why they showed up the other day… I needed to make sure we were okay. I was hoping it would help the dreams…” Tears begin streaming down her cheeks.
“But it didn’t.”“Well, when we had that match where she was on our team, she didn’t try to stab either of us in the back, figuratively or literally. I mean, I knew things were strained, but she talked to us before Incursion and then she came over here. So, how bad is it really? You know what, fuck that. It’s bad enough that you’re losing sleep over it. That’s all I need to know. What can I do to help? If we’re going to make this whole tag team partners in life thing work, then your problems are my problems. How can we make this better?”
Ken does his best to dry Kyra’s eyes, but like playing tennis against a brick wall, you just can’t win. He gently pulls her a little closer, trying his damnedest to let her know she doesn’t have to face this alone.
“I don’t know…” Kyra replies, wrapping her arms around him. She wished she had a solution, but the only thing she could manage to think was that she just wanted it to stop.
“I just don’t know, Ken."“You’re going to make me sound like a fortune cookie or something. ‘We are not what happened to us, we are what we wish to become.’ That’s a quote by Carl Jung. We don’t have to fix this now, but we need to work on it. I’m tired of waking up and being too hot because you didn’t steal the blankets.”Kyra simply nodded.
“Okay.”What more could she say? She felt like the luckiest woman in the world, even if she was a tired, sobbing mess in this man's arms. She couldn’t ask for anyone better than her ‘partner for life’, and that was a fact.
“Why don't we try to get some sleep? Right here, we don't have to move.”
Ken doesn't wait for her to answer. He kisses her softly on the forehead and continues caressing her hoping that she would eventually get some sleep. It didn’t take long for Kyra to relent to her heavy eyes, and she fell asleep on Ken’s shoulder.
’I don’t know.’ Kyra’s words echoed in his head, even the next morning when he woke up with her passed out in his arms. It was surprising, to say the least. Between her recent nightmares and the five year old hurricane known as her daughter Adina, she was having trouble sleeping, at all, let alone at night. Speaking of which…
“MAMA!! KENKEN!!” her voice booming as she bounds down the stairs.
“Where are you?”…And just like that, Adina had arrived. Ken puts his finger to his lips as Adina makes her way into the living room. She nods and overdramatically tips toes as only a child can. She climbs up onto the couch, on the other side of Ken, sitting as carefully as she can.
“Kenken,” Adina says matter of factly.
“I’m tired.”“You just got up. How in the bluest of blue hells can you be tired?”“Because I woke up last night to pee and couldn’t get back to sleep.”“Okay,” Ken’s voice trails off as he tries to figure out what’s coming next.
“So, what was it that kept you awake?”“Well, I kept hearing all this banging noise. I thought it was the monster under my bed.”The truth of the matter was that it was her mother making all that noise in what felt like a nightly ritual. When she really couldn’t handle things, she met up with her old friend Jack Daniels in an effort to self medicate.
“Baby girl, we both know there isn’t a monster under your bed. Not unless you call the pile of toys you slid under there a monster. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t really clean up your room. There is no room for a monster.”“But, I didn’t know what it was. I was scared.”I don’t know.’ and
’I didn’t know’ seemed to be a common theme around these parts.
“Listen, honey. Go upstairs and look under your bed and tell me if there’s room for a monster. Seriously. There is nothing more I can tell you right now.“Okay.” Adina says as she bounces off the couch.
‘That was easy’ Ken thought to himself.
’A little too easy.’ Sure enough, he was going to have to deal with this later.
“Godly” Ken Davison stands in front the Atlantic off of costal Maryland. He is in full regalia, opting for a seafoam green collar and tuned glasses to match.
“You know, there is an extreme form of fear they call xenophobia. Xenophobia is when people have irrational thoughts and beliefs about things they perceive to be strange or foreign. What it is, effectively speaking, is a hyper focused fear of the unknown. It is a fear of anything that is out of one's comfort zone. Many people may not show this fear, at least not on the surface. However, most people do show a fear of the unknown to a lesser extent. It does not rule our lives, but it will rear its ugly head when we are forced to step outside of our comfort zone.”
“I am not such a man. I am the anomaly. I have faced nothing but the unknown since the moment I arrived in Sin City Wrestling. Before arriving here I did not know Agostino Romano. I didn't know those 3 jackasses that I defeated to gain my opportunity at the Internet Championship. I had never heard of Levi what's his name or his father. Is the fact of the matter is that I walked in to those matches and I proved my superiority. I have not backed down from a single man, woman, or child, in my entire career. That is the man I am.”Davison kneels down for a moment, placing his hand in the sand and letting the sensation of it penetrate his nerves. A small smile crosses his face and he stands up.
“Fear is not a unique feeling. Everyone experiences a fear of something. It's built into our DNA. It's not unusual for you to be afraid when you're stepping out into the unknown. Our brain is hardwired to prefer negative consequences to uncertain outcomes. For most people, their fear of the unknown isn't even based in reality. People's fear of the unknown is just one big heaping pile of self limiting beliefs based on what we think may happen and not on what the reality is. The short version is that fear of the unknown is simply a form of doubt.”
“I'm not normally this guy. But, I would actually like to help you, Ben Jordan. What I'd like to do for you is make you not only a better wrestler, but a better man. I recognize that you're just coming back after whatever amount of time you took off. I had a heart attack almost 3 years ago. I remember when I came back to the ring that I was worried that I may have lost a step. I was worried that my body could not handle being a wrestler anymore. Let me tell you, boy, staring death in the face is one of the few things that will cause me to doubt myself.”Ken takes a moment to regain his composure.
“Even now, the thought of it irks me. But, I digress. That's not the lesson here. I know that there is doubt in your mind. Making your comeback against a man with my resume, against a man who is the Sin City Wrestling Internet Champion, who is still undefeated here in Sin City wrestling, must be a daunting task. I want you to ask yourself if this is why you are afraid. Is it your opposition that is causing you to doubt yourself or is it your actual skills?”
“I know that when you hear this, especially if you have a camera in your face, you will fly out tonight is that you are doubting yourself or that you're afraid of this match.That's what we're supposed to do. Isn't it? But, acknowledging your fear, more importantly instantly, finding the cause of your fear, will make you better equipped to deal with that fear.”Davison takes a moment to wipe his scalp with his sleeve, apparently having gotten some ocean mist on him.
“Ben, you need to realize that not only is failure an option, it's a probability. In my lifetime I have lost literally everything I held dear. Anything in my life that had value was snatched away from me on my nineteenth birthday. I learned the most difficult lesson a person could learn on that day. Is fear of the unknown? Every aspect of my life was an unknown. That day, I, I was no longer a man. That was the day that I became a God.”Davison stammers a little bit but manages to hold his composure.
“From that day forward, I dedicated myself to becoming the best professional wrestler that I could be. What was not taken away from me was then sacrificed by my own hand. I stopped letting emotion get in my way. I let go of everything, care for my own well being, concern for the rules, most importantly, fear. When I step inside of those ropes,The only thing that matters to me is victory. You would be best served by taking note of the fact that I will do so by any means necessary. I let go of so much that when I finally found it again, I recognized how important it was. Admittedly, you've done nothing wrong. Defeating you in your grand return to Sin City Wrestling isn't personal. It is simply a business transaction. Defeating you means I get the winner's share of the purse. In turn, that means that I can provide for my family. Family is the most important thing in my life. To serve them, I can, and more importantly will do unspeakable things if I have to.”
“Now, do yourself a favor and understand where I come from.. Do yourself a favor and prepare for the ferocity that I bring when I step inside a wrestling ring. Do yourself a favor and recognize that this might not be your day. There is no shame in losing to the GKD, “Godly” Ken Davison. I want you to do those things because I am doing those things myself. I want you to elevate yourself to bring your best version of yourself into this match.”Davison holds his fist out direct is directly in front of the Cameron's.
“I ask you this because so far, none of my opponents have managed to elevate their game to my level. Right now, there is someone at the racetrack asking Agostino Romano if his barbecue was canceled because I fucked his grill up. My goal in this company is to stand as the standard bearer of what all of the rest of you should be. I am not going to let the “King of Cock” stand in the way of that. You may be a king, but I am a motherfukcing ace. I have been making an entire career out of doing things that no one said I was capable of.”
“Now, I am gonna say this very slowly so you can follow along.”Davison loosens his grip and sand begins falling out of his hand.
“I. AM. GOD. You are not my equal. You would have to take an elevator to get to my level. I am going to decimate you and solidify my place within this company. You… Well, your time is running out.”Davison opens his hand and blows the rest of the sand into the lens of the camera holding it there as the camera fades to black.
