A CANDYLAND MATCH? THIS IS GONNA BE FUN!
Narrator: A Candyland Match? Bill Barnhart against Agostino Romano? Yes you heard correctly. This match is a First Round match for the Internet Championship and the winner moves up in the Tournament to keep winning and get a shot at the Internet Championship. We already know Bill is going to win this Tournament match, and all the others he will be assigned to, and when he faces off for the Internet Championship he will win that match and be crowned the next Sin City Wrestling Internet Championship.
AT THE HOME OF ANDY AND REBECCA EIDE IN LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA
The scene comes into focus as we see Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, in the backyard of their neighbors Andy and Rebecca Eide.
Bill: Wow! Your new backyard fence looks great!
Andy: We had to replace it because someone, or something, came through our yard three weeks ago and broke the gate on the back part of the fence and they also broke the gate leading out of the backyard to go into the front yard of the house. Since the fence was old, most likely it was the original fence from when this housing development was built in 1991, we had to replace it as it was worn down and not worth the time and money to try to repair several portions of it.
Bill: Who did you get to install your new fence?
Andy: Our neighbor Edgar does many things and carpentry is one of them. I purchased the fencing material from Home Depot and Edgar and his wife Nellie installed the fence. I’m amazed that in less than five days they had the entire job completed and that included removing the original fence posts which were imbedded in the ground in cement and placing the removed fencing material into the dumpster I rented.
Bill: If you don’t mind me asking how much was the total cost?
Andy: First I have to tell you I contacted two fencing companies and one gave me an estimate of $3,500 and the other was around $4,500. I purchased the fencing material at Home Depot for $1,100 and Edgar and Nelly asked for $1,500 for their labor so I saved a lot of money. The best part is they connected everything with screws instead of nails so the fencing should stay in place for a very long time.
Bill: Do I know Edgar?
Andy: He lives seven houses down from us. I figured you knew him as you are my neighbor and you must have seen him and Nellie mowing our yard and trimming out trees all the time. You didn’t know his name and that he is our neighbor? I’ll give you his phone number later.
Bill: Yes I have seen them doing your lawn and trimming your trees and bushes but I never put it together that they were our neighbors. I know that now and I’m going to have my backyard fence replaced by Edgar and Nellie also.
Andy: Before you go I need to tell you I received an e-mail from Heritage Property Management which is the company that manages our development for Huntington Landing Homeowners Association. They said over the past few weeks our development, and other housing developments near us, submitted reports to Gwinnett Police that they and their neighbors had their cars broken into and valuable items stolen. But since my neighbor on the other side of my house is one of the Officers of Huntington Landing Homeowners Association she gave me valuable information. Those cars reported to have been broken into were not locked at the time the people took items out of their vehicles. If you leave valuable items in your car but don’t lock your car then you’re also to blame. I just hope if anyone tries to get into our vehicles there would be enough movement to cause the car alarms to go off. Since our driveway is below our bedroom windows we would surely hear it and be able to run the criminals off and prevent a theft. On top of that my wife has surveillance devices facing our driveway from two angles so we would also have it on video to give to Gwinnett Police.
Bill: That what I’m gonna do to Agostino Romano. I’m going to hear him trying to perpetrate a theft to try to win our match but I’ll stop him and run him off before he can make the steal. Remember to send me Edgar’s phone number so I can call him to install a new backyard fence.
Bill, Bea, and Iris, leave Andy and Rebecca’s yard and return to their home. Once they are in their home the cameraman sets up and Bill launches into his comments for his match against Agostino Romano.
AT THE BARNHART HOME IN LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA
Bill: Thanks for joining me at our home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We’ll be flying to San Jose in the morning as that is where Climax Control 308 is being held. At that event I face Agostino Romano in an Internet Championship Tournament match, a Candyland Match, and the winner continues in the Tournament and the loser goes off to do something else. Before I launch into my comments for my match I want to give Bea time to comment on her match against Amber Ryan at Climax Control 307.
Bea: Thanks Bill. For everyone watching, and especially for Amber Ryan, I want you to go back and look at my performance in that match. I admit I didn’t win, and I congratulate Amber for getting the win, but you need to focus on my performance. Why? You see that in every match I get better and stronger. I’m able to hold my own against anyone in Sin City Wrestling. I continue to perform at my best, and continually improve, and I could have easily walked away from my match with the win and a shot at the Bombshell Championship. But I’ll have to wait until my next opportunity arises. Again, Amber, congratulations on giving me a great match and congratulations on your win. And so everyone is informed ahead of time I’ll be at Bill’s match against Agostino Romano at Climax Control 308 as his Manager to ensure no interference happens to steal his win away from him. Thanks for giving me some of your air time to present my comments.
Bill: Anything for you Bea. . .except for my coffee and chocolate and especially my chocolate coffee. . .ha ha ha. Now for my comments on my upcoming match against Agostino Romano. It is a Candyland Match where the ring will be made up like a playing board of the game Candyland. This should be a very amusing match and I know I’m gonna win.
Bill points to himself on that comment.
Bill: Agostino Romano. If not for the fact that you occasionally stumble and actually manage to win a match, and you actually obtained a Championship, you’d be a total loser. But I give you credit that you have accomplished a few things but overall you’re as consistent as a pair of loose pants without a belt to hold them up. But coming into our match you’re giving up seven inches in height and twenty-five pounds of weight to me. I’m damn sure going to use my height and weight advantage to quickly wear you down, bag you up, and throw you in the trash dumpster and I’ll move on in the Internet Championship Tournament while you return home and lick your wounds.
Barnhart stands up and makes a motion around his waist to show that without a belt to hold up your pants they will slip down to your feet.
Bill: Agostino we have an amusing match. . .well it’ll be amusing for me but terrifying for you…and it is called a Candyland Match where the ring is made up in the design of a Candyland game board. When I saw what type of match we’re having, and that it was called a Candyland Match, I couldn’t help but look at your pathetic performance in the ring and figure with you involved in this match they could have easily have called this match a CANDY ASS match. Just so nobody takes that comment the wrong way I looked up the term CANDY ASS and the definitions came out as TIMID, SCARED, WEAK, and COWARDLY. Those are perfect descriptions of you Agostino.
Bill busts out in loud laughter before containing himself to continue with his comments.
Bill: Agostino we’ve had only one match against each other but before you try to brag about what you did in that match please allow me to tell the viewers the truth. The match was at Climax Control 289, on January 10, 2021, and it was a Fatal Four Way where the winner was the wrestler who could slam someone through a table. Do you remember who got slammed through the table for the loss? Was it me? Was it Lincoln Daniels? Was it the other wrestler in that match? Hell no! It was YOU, Agostino, who got slammed through the table by Lincoln Daniels for the loss. Now that the truth is out in the open please do all you can to try to make out the facts of that match to be untrue. Go ahead. . .I dare you!
Bill again busts out in loud laughter but it takes him longer to recover from his laughing and return to commenting.
SOUL MAN. . .BILL MAN. . .
Bill: I’m going to transition into what I classify as the entertainment, amusement, and informative portion of my comments. First I’ll play for you a well-known song by Sam & Dave titled SOUL MAN. Once you’ve heard the original I’ll give you my version of that song.
Bill clicks on the song, SOUL MAN, on the YouTube page and the original SOUL MAN by Same & Dave begins to play as the lyrics scroll on the screen for the viewers to see.
Comin' to you on a dusty road
Good lovin', I got a truck load
And when ya get it, huh, ya got some
So don't worry, 'cause I'm comin'
I'm a soul man, wow
I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man, woah, heh
I'm a soul man
And that ain't all, huh
Got what I got the hard way
And I'll make it better each and every day
So honey, don't you fret, huh
'Cause you ain't seen uh, nothin' yet
I'm a soul man, oh road
I'm a soul man, play it Steve
I'm a soul man, ha
I'm a soul man, oh
I was brought up on a side street, yes maam
I learned how to love before I could eat
I was educated from good stock
When I start lovin', oh I can't stop
I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man, yeah
I'm a soul man, look
Grab a rope and I'll pull you in
Give you hope and be your only boyfriend
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah), uh
I'm talking about a
Soul man, I'm a
Soul man, and you
Soul man, aah
Soul man, hold on
Soul man, I'm a
Soul man, and you a
Soul man, and you're a
Soul man, hold on
The original version of SOUL MAN by Sam & Dave ends and Bill comments before presenting his version of the song.
Bill: You’ve just heard the original SOUL MAN by Sam & Dave and now I present to you my version, which I’ll sing for you, titled BILL MAN.
Coming at you like I’m Dusty Rhodes
Good wrestling. . .I got a truck load
And when you get it, huh, you’re gonna get it
So don't worry, 'cause I'm comin'
I'm the Bill Man. . .wow
I'm the Bill Man
I'm the Bill Man. . .woah. . . heh
I'm the Bill Man
And that ain't all. . .huh
Got what I got the hard way
And I make it better each and every day
So y’all, don't you fret. . .huh
'Cause you ain't seen. . .nothin' yet
I'm the Bill Man. . .oh
I'm the Bill Man
I'm the Bill Man. . .ha
I'm the Bill Man. . .oh
I was brought up in the wrestling ring
I learned to wrestle before I could sing
I was educated from good stock
When I start wrestling. . .oh I can't stop
I'm the Bill Man
I'm the Bill Man
I'm the Bill Man. . .yeah
I'm the Bill Man. . .look
Grab a rope and I'll pull you in
Give you hope but I’ll get the win
Yeah. . .yeah. . .yeah. . .yeah. . .uh
I'm talking about a Bill Man. . .
I'm a Bill Man. . .
And you. . .ahhh
You’re not a Bill man. . .ahhh
Bill Man. . .hold on
Bill Man. . .
I'm a Bill Man. . .
You’re not a Bill Man
I'm a Bill Man. . .
You’re not a Bill Man
I’m a Bill Man. . .
You’re not a Bill Man. . .
Hold on!!!
Bill’s version of SOUL MAN titled BILL MAN ends and Bill returns to his comments.
THIS IS HOW IT’S GONNA BE
Bill: Thanks for enjoying my version of SOUL MAN that I titled BILL MAN. Listen up Agostino. I’m warning you ahead of time what’s gonna happen to you in our match so that way you can’t use the lame excuse that you didn’t know ahead of time. It’s gonna be like this Romano. I’m gonna win. But I’m not just gonna win. I’m gonna hurt you in the process. I’m walking away from our match with a victory to win this first round of the Internet Championship Tournament and you’ll return to your dressing room a defeated pathetic worthless excuse of a wrestler. I know you’ll try to brag about being a two-time Internet Champion but let me set the record straight so the viewers know the truth. Yes you won the Internet Championship on January 31, 2020, then again on March 28, 2021. I give you a little bit of credit for your accomplishment but if you think those two reigns, one for a decent amount of time and one for a short period of time, are something to brag about then you’re more out of your mind than I thought you were. Enjoy living in the past, Romano, because there will be no Internet Championship in your future. See you on Sunday, August 15, 2021, at the Provident Credit Union Event Center in San Jose.
Bill gives the CUT sign and the camera person turns off their camera and the scene ends.
