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This Is What Makes Us Girls
#NP "Heartbeat Song” by Kelly Clarkson
Four Seasons Resort; Santa Barbara, CaliforniaTonight was… amazing. I couldn’t have planned a better evening. The moon is in full view as we are walking along the beach, hand in hand. My heart skips a beat as Dax pulls me in closer, wrapped up in his jacket. For such a Twitter douchebag, he’s actually very thoughtful. His arms envelope me as we walk toward the Spanish style resort, our feet leaving prints in the cold sand, but we don’t care. He pulls a cigarette out of his pocket and lights it, taking a drag before gently sliding it between my lips. I can taste him all over it as I take a drag. We approach the poolside area of the resort as we hear the cackling of geese… or Delia Darling and Fabianna Lopez coming from the outdoors bar area. I close my eyes and sigh before turning to look up into Dax’s eyes. The specks of green pop from his hazel eyes as he looks back down at me with a smile. He senses something wrong with me and he lifts my chin up.
Dax: What’s wrong, bae?
Me: First off, don’t call me “bae”. Secondly, I really… really don’t want to scare you off by introducing you to my friends.
Dax: I met Delia already. How bad could it actually be?
I blink a few times, distress written across my face as I let my look do the talking for me. He chuckles from deep within his chest as he leans down and kisses me quickly. The smile he is sporting makes me blush, and no one has ever made me do that, so it’s a real accomplishment.
Dax: If it means that I get to spend more time with you, then I can deal with whatever they got to throw at me, boo.
Me: That’s still not okay, but it’s better. Call me “baby” like men have for at least the last twenty years.
Dax: Nah, I’ll stick with Peaches…
I tried to get rid of him, but it’s too late. We’ve been seen. Delia and Fabi gather up their glasses of pinot grigio, laughing and threatening to ruin my Cinderella night like they are my two evil stepsisters. Their eyes trace over Dax’s bare chest, studying his tattoos, or perhaps they are dissecting his very soul, looking for the best way to chase him off. I give one last effort to push him back toward the beach, whispering “Go, go, go…”, but Delia and Fabi begin circling him like a couple of sharks that smell blood. I fold my arms across my chest, annoyed by the intrusion. Fabi giggles as she looks at me, her doe-like eyes lit up brightly as she nods her head. Delia, however, sniffs at the air and purses her lips together as she glares at me.
Delia: Celeste, darling? Might I have just one moment of your time to speak candidly wi’s you? Fabi will keep your… suitor… company, yes?
Fabi: Oh, I’ll do my best…
Fabi makes googly eyes at Dax, which makes me roll my eyes in return. Before I have time to say one way or the other, Delia grabs onto my arm with her free hand and drags me to the other side of the pool. For not having wrestled in over a year, I’m quite honestly surprised at the strength she still possesses. She turns around to face me as I keep my eyes on Fabi and Dax.
Delia: What happened tonight? I need all of z’e details… Dish, henny!
Me: Hmmm, how about no? That part is none of your business honestly. I’m not even sure what’s going on between him and I yet, and I don’t need you sticking your nose into it.
Delia: Well, considering we were going to have a slumber party to discuss strategy for your title match wi’s Veronica Taylor… it is my business. Delia Darling does not invest anys’ing into a cause she does not believe in. I need to know where your head is right now.
She’s seriously trying to justify butting into my personal business like this? Apparently. But, I have to admit, I’ve never had a female friend who asks me about what is going on. Fabi is cool and all, but she isn’t exactly the sharpest tool, and she’s kind of self-centered. Delia is actually interested, and it feels kind of good. I blush a little with a smile as I bring my eyes to hers.
Me: I think I like him, Delia. He’s definitely an asshole, which is totally my type, but he’s also sweet and caring underneath all of that macho bullshit. I yelled at him for not paying attention to me when I was giving him his last chance to convince me that he wasn’t a complete douchebag, and he yelled back, but it was telling me that I’m blindingly beautiful, and that he can’t pay attention to what I’m saying because everything about me distracts him.
Delia: No, seriously… what did he say?
She stares at me as if I’m telling a lie, waiting for me to end the supposed joke and tell her what was really said. It kind of offends me as I raise my eyebrow at her and continue.
Me: He ran off from dinner, refusing to let me pay, which is a first. He couldn’t stand to hear me doubt myself so much, and I chased him down.
Delia: It sounds like you had a real Cinderella kind of evening… He ran off, didn’t listen to a word you had to say, discounted everys’ing about you besides your looks, and then what? You fucked him on z’e beach?
Me: I never said that, but twice…
Delia: Ugh-uhhhh!
Delia shakes her head as she pulls me even further away from them, stepping onto the sand of the beach. She actually slaps me. I don’t mean like a little tap. I mean like she hauls off and smacks the taste out of my mouth. I chuckle a little as I reach back and smack her. She takes it like a champ, and then she repeats the process, slapping me. It pisses me off how little emotion she has in it, taking a second to sip from her wine before I slap her back. She slaps me, and I slap her once more. It felt like a scene out of Dynasty, minus the name calling. After one more round of slapping, he grabs onto my wrist and twists it, causing me to wince a little.
Delia: If you want to be a champion, you have got to stop seeing him. You are going to get hurt, because he’s obviously going to move on to z’e next available gigi, if not after tonight, z’en soon. He’s a rude boy, and z’at is what rude boys do. You need to choose between him and me.
Me: Sorry, D, but I don’t swing that way. There are plenty of women in this business who do, so it should be no trouble at all for you to find someone.
Delia: Your sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Celeste. I see potential in you, and I would hate to see some hairy, tattooed ape take z’at away from you. Veronica Taylor has made your life a living hell, and what have you done in return? Hm? Tell me, how are you going to make it s’rough Veronica when your head is stuck in the clouds?
Me: Unlike Veronica, or even you for that matter, I don’t get wrapped up in other people. I don’t let others dictate how I perform my fucking job. If Dax does run off and leave me, I still had a good time, because he’s hung like a fucking horse, and he knows what he’s doing. But, I’ll be alright. I’ll still go out there and kick the living shit out of Veronica, inside of the ring, because that’s where it all matters. I made my intentions known when I nearly set her on fire. She might have hit me over the head with a mirror, but I got her back ten times worse when I crushed her hopes of getting back the Bombshell Roulette Championship. I made her eat every fucking word that she spoke about me, and that’s not going to change, whether I’ve got a guy in my life or not.
Delia finally lets go of my wrist as she looks at me, finally taking me seriously. She stares at me, clearly still hurting from the comparison to Veronica Taylor. She tries to read what is truly going on in my head for a moment before she finally lets a bit of a smile break.
Delia: You actually mean it. But, you don’t realize how much he’s on your mind. He’s in your every s’ought. You can count on me being z’ere when he leaves, telling you z’at I told you so.
Me: Gee, thanks for your vote of confidence. I’m not in love with him, though. For fuck’s sake, I just met him.
Delia: From my experience, love is instantaneous. You will know right away if you love someone. Z’eir touch will make your heart skip a beat. Z’eir presence is enough to take your brea’s away. Everys’ing z’ey say captivates you, and you find z’em irresistible. You love him, even if you are too afraid to admit it.
No way… right? If I had already started to develop feelings for him, that would be crazy. I have to admit though, everything she just said is true, and even when I thought he was a douchebag, it was still true. He’s dangerous, but he’s gorgeous. I haven’t ever fallen for someone like this, like ever.
Me: It doesn’t matter. I’ve always got something going on in my life, and besides, Dax helps me work on my cardio. He’s really inventive with his technique. I will still go out there in Los Angeles in two weeks, and I will show you that I’ve got what it takes to knock Veronica down for the three count, again. If you don’t trust me, then maybe we should dissolve this partnership right now, because I’ve put all kinds of trust in you…
Delia: You must not have heard… you simply do not trust Delia Darling. I’m glad you did, z’ough, because you’re going to become familiar wi’s z’e headlines. Z’at much, I do trust. If you are in love wi’s him, z’en I suppose I should get familiar wi’s him, learn to trust him, and z’en we can move forward. I’m ever so glad z’at you trust me. It’s new to me, so it might take a moment to get used to it.
Delia pulls me in for a hug, which I am completely not expecting. I nearly trip, and she nearly drops her drink, but I soon fall into the hug, feeling that friendship connection I’ve looked for my entire life. It almost brings me to tears as it ends, because in that very moment, I actually see Delia Darling as a person, and not a business entity. As we came this way, we also leave. She drags me by my arm, and we meet back up with Fabianna and Daxton on the patio. It was a great evening, because Dax and Delia actually got along much better than I expected. They spent a lot of the evening laughing with one another and sharing stories of being on the road, all while we sipped on Hennessy Black Cognac, wrapped up in his arms. The whole night is a bit of a blur, but what I do know is that I’ve never felt this good about life, and the people I’m surrounding myself with. Things couldn’t possibly get any better.
Prosperity and Blessed Be
#NP "Black Is the Soul” by Korn
The North Estate; Beverly Hills, CaliforniaThe moon peeks in from behind my curtains, right into my eyes. I had fallen asleep in Dax’s arms again. He seems to really have that effect on me. I open my eyes slightly, feeling the energy of the moon as it draws me from his arms. The soft fur on his chest and stomach makes it hard for me to leave. I lean in and kiss his lips, hoping to break the spell on me, but it only seems to make it worse. However, I hear the Goddess calling to me, and when I get this impulse, I know I must try to open myself up. He moans softly as I stand up, and he turns his head into my pillow as if my scent lulls him back into a deep sleep. I wrap myself up in a black satin robe, tying it together closely as I walk across the room that is bigger than most apartments. I pass the spiral staircase leading to my “closet” room, and I walk to the large window. My altar is already set up for my ritual prayer before any match that I compete in, but this can’t wait. I reach over to the tripod across the table so that I can document this for my promotional video package. Once it is recording, I reach to my satchel and I bring a long match stick from the side pocket. I strike it on the edge of the table as I begin to light the candles. Alder, almond, acacia, and mace are my herbs tonight, for protection, prosperity, luck, and concentration. They are placed around me, as I hold my energy crystals in front of me. I pull my tarot cards from my satchel and I begin to shuffle them as I close my eyes.
Me: Gaia, Goddess of the moon, bringing light into the darkness, I ask for your guidance. In just a few short days, I will be defending my SCW Bombshell Championship against a very unworthy opponent in Veronica Taylor. However, I feel as though you have given me this opportunity in order to work out the rage that I’ve been holding in for so long now. I’ve had a hard enough time keeping it to myself, but then she takes it a step further and busts a mirror over my head. I’m finding it very hard not to drag her by her hair that is probably insured for a million dollars, bring her to the ring, so that the fans of Sin City Wrestling can enjoy watching me beat her within an inch of her life.
I take a deep breath, because this is most likely not the best way to pray, and to summon inner peace and serenity. I try to breathe out all of the negative energy within me, but it takes me quite a while. The only thing that helps me to find peace is by picturing Dax’s hazel eyes looking at me, and I find a bit of it.
Me: This match is the biggest one of my career to date. This is the fight that will prove that I’m either a fluke champion, just like Veronica Taylor, or that I belong in the championship spot. I know that I’m very much in my head about this, and the only distraction that I find from it all is lying in my bed right now. I don’t feel like I can focus on this, because the pressure is just so new to me. Please, give me a sign if I’m just overreacting?
I wait a moment, but nothing happens. I take a deep breath, looking to beckon the spirit of Mother Earth. I feel a light breeze wash over me as I open my eyes. I look out across the table to see the flames of the candles dancing in the breeze, even though no windows are open. It doesn’t feel negative. It feels infinitely good.
Me: I don’t want to be hateful any longer. I don’t want to be fueled by anger and rage. I don’t want to feel as if I am constantly warring with myself. The only way that I can see this happening is to push Veronica Taylor out of my head. I need to rid myself of the toxicity that she brings into my world. She’s like a retarded dog who doesn’t understand the concept of pain and humiliation. It’s like she got hit so hard upside the head that she’s stuck in a one-sided fantasy world where she rules like a queen. She thinks that she’s the prettiest thing walking this planet. She thinks that her wrestling skills are impeccable. In fact, she’s fucking ugly on the inside. She’s not all that on the outside. Everyone laughs at her. She’s the joke of the Bombshell division, which is pretty sad when you’ve got people like Azz n’ Class and Justice League in our midst. Her wrestling skills are abysmal at best. The world would be so much happier if she just died.
Oops, it’s happening again. The vengeful and angry side of me is coming through. I purse my lips together to try finding my peace of mind. My eyes wander over to Dax, and I stop.
Me: I just can’t, in good conscience, stand by and let her continue this charade. I can’t stand to see her walk around like she owns the place. But, is it more important for me to retain my championship, and work to find my own serenity? Is it better to sacrifice myself for the greater good, or to maintain my spirituality, by nurturing and growing it? Great Goddess, I need to know the answer to this.
I wait, but of course, I don’t hear anything. I usually don’t, but I feel a strong connection tonight. I’m beginning to feel a little overwhelmed, as a matter of fact. I lean back in my seat as I try to regain my composure.
Me: Goddess, please allow me to be open to your suggestion and your guidance. If I’m left to my own devices, my old habits, I will destroy her. I’m not afraid of losing to Veronica, because that’s nearly impossible. I’ve already beaten her, and I’ve beaten more worthy opponents than her. Literally, the only reason she has this title match is because she is the former champion, and she attacked me in typical SCW fashion. Attack a champion and you get a title shot. However, in this case, she attacked me before I won the title. Since then, she hasn’t done shit. At least I showed up to the next venue and made my presence felt. What has she done, besides sit on her throne, being waited on hand and foot by some kiss ass billionaire who is only looking to get his old dust-filled balls licked. She hasn’t done a single thing. Yet, here she is, getting a shot at my title.
I lean forward in my seat as I pick up the tarot cards once more. As I’m flipping through, I feel compelled to pull the card that is slightly sticking out. I place it down on the table face up. The tower card is what I’m faced with. People falling, lightning striking at it, flames bursting from within.
Me: Upheaval? Disaster? Sudden change and revelation? What does this mean? Will Veronica upset the balance by winning my title, and rubbing it in my face? Or, does that mean that I will continue with my rise from being a Nobody to a Somebody?
I draw another card and place it on the table, next to the tower card. I look down to see the star card in front of me. I look at it for a second, studying the bright star above a pool of water with a naked blonde woman dipping her hands into it.
Me: Hope and inspiration mixed with spirituality, serenity, and renewal? This is an excellent card that I’m so grateful to see. This means that, no matter what happens, I’m going to continue on this path of rebirth. I’m happy to hear this.
Lastly, I draw another card. This one only seems to confuse me. It is the three of swords, which means separation, sorrow, and grief. It depicts a heart with three swords impaling it. I rub my lips together as I look behind me to Dax, who is stretched out half naked in my bed. I shake my head, because this feels too obvious to me. I glance to the other side of my room to see the SCW Bombshell Roulette Championship sitting there. The wind blows inside of the room, this time a little bit on the cold and unnerving side of things.
Me: I’m choosing to believe that I am meant to defeat Veronica Taylor. I’m fully capable of defeating her. Perhaps my reign won’t last as long as I’d hoped. I guess that means that I need to make the most of it after I beat Veronica on Sunday. I’ll just have to take on as many people as I can to leave my mark on the Roulette Championship. Either way, I will not lose on Sunday. This much I feel confident in. I’ll just take it one match at a time. One thing is for certain, though. Veronica is getting her ass handed to her on Sunday. Blessed Be…
With that, I reach over to the camera and turn it off. I gently blow out the candles on the table, though I scoop up my energy crystals. I take them with me as I walk across the room and back to my bed, finding myself melting right back into Dax’s body. However, uncertainty creeps through my entire body as I struggle to fall back asleep.
