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Topics - Surf Boys

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1
Climax Control Archives / The Hunt Is On
« on: August 10, 2017, 09:06:23 AM »
 The hunt is on! Not like most people who go hunting to hurt and call it a sport, but for something a little more softer, for a pet. Not your average goldfish in a bowl, something special for our part time fun loving guys, The Surf Boys.

Narly and Radical walk down the Las Vegas strip in Nevada, both dressed in bright shirts, Narly's a bright blue with white palm trees on it, Radical's yellow with a blue wave cutting through half the shirt. Both men wear matching Bermuda shorts, depicting the same as their shirts, and the odd choice, well odd if you don't know them, of sandals on their feet.

Narly: Dude, it's totes awesome that SCW wanted us to wrestle again! When Christian called me, I totes thought it was that dude who used to do the pranks in SCW, Spike Staggs.

Radical stops, causing Narly to stop.

Radical: Don't you mean Vixen Staggs Bromigo?

Narly scratches the side of his head as he looks at his tag team partner and long time friend.

Narly: Nu uh Dudeo, although, it could have been Erik Staggs.

Radical crosses his eyes as he looks confused by Narly.

Radical: Dude, there was so many Staggs, like seven hundred and fifty two of them, but I know one of those Staggs totes used to play tricks on people.

Narly: Well I totes thought it was the dude who played the tricks, but it was definitely Christian when he yelled at me "listen you stupid haired moron, just show up."

Narly puts his lip out, pouting as he looks towards Radical.

Radical: Harsh bro, totes harsh

Narly: I know dude.

Narly's lip starts to wobble but Radical puts his hand on his partners shoulder.

Radical: Who are we like, uh, facing anyway dude?

Narly: Travis Nathaniel Jackson and Horace Andrews.

Radical: Those guys are totes amazeballs!

Radical's face turns to total confusion as he looks at Narly with lowered eyebrows.

Radical: Wait, who are they? I've so never heard of them and we've been in SCW forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

Narly opens his mouth as if he is about to answer his tag team partner, but his mouth slowly closes as he waves a finger at Radical.

Narly: I have no idea dude. I totes checked the roster page, and I couldn't see Travis Nathaniel Jackson or Horace Andrews, so I'm totes lost. Maybe they're new dudes.

Radical nods, accepting Narly's answer of the two we know as Travis Nathaniel Andrews and Horace Jackson as being new sign ups to the SCW world.

Radical: Awesomeness Bromigo, I totes like facing the new dudes, they're always so full of energy and bounce around the ring like they're been stung in the butt by a jellyfish.

The mention of a jellyfish makes Narly shudder at the thought.

Narly: Dude, I've been stung in the butt by a jellyfish and it was so not fun. I couldn't sit down for a week. It was totes hard to sleep standing up.

Radical: Oh I remember dude, you kept falling over!

Narly: Sha! I did!

The two smile widely and attempt a high five but in typical Surf Boy fashion, the two hit each other in the head.

Radical: One day, we'll totes work out how to do that.

Narly nods in agreement.

Narly: Dude, the only bad thing about this match is we so can't go shopping for our new pet, cause it so takes away from us focusing on our opponents.

Radical scratches his chin as he looks at Narly. A smile starts to form on his face as his eyes widen.

Radical: Dude, they sell like everything here! It's like Vegas, they have everything to sell, so we should totes find a store here that will sell us what we want!

Narly: Yes! Dude, that's why you're totes the smart one!

A cheesy grin appears on Radical's face from Narly's compliment.

Radical: Thank you dude o dudes! I did once figure out why there was a light in the refrigerator.

His face quickly turns to sadness.

Radical: But I totes forgot how now.

Narly: Don't worry dude, we will go find our new pet, and it will cheer you totes up!

Radical: Sha! To the pet shop dude!

Narly: To the pet shop!

The scene quickly changes to a pet shop. Fish tanks line the wall with various species of fish mindlessly swimming around, puppies can be heard barking in the distance. The camera moves close to Radical, who is looking in to one of thee fish tanks.

Radical: Dude, this fish is totally staring me out.

Narly moves next to his tag team partner and looks at the fish, before looking back towards Radical, then back to the fish, the back to Radical, than back to the fish.

Narly: That is awesome dude!

Radical grins but keeps looking at the fish.

Radical: I know, right! I can totes win this staring contest.

A man approaches them from the side and Narly straightens up, reading the man's name tag as Bob.

Bob: Good afternoon Gentlemen. My name is Bob, and I'm a sales assistant here, is there anything I can help you with?

Narly: Hi Bob, my name is Narly and this dude here is Radical.

Narly points to Radical, who is still staring at the fish in the nearby tank.

Narly: We are totes looking for a new pet, and we heard lot of good things about your store.

Radical turns his head to look at Bob.

Radical: Sha, plus it was totally the closest one to where we was standing at the time.

Radical lowers his eyebrows before looking back at the tank. A look of complete disappointment crosses his face as he stands up straight.

Radical: Ah man! The fishy wins the staring contest!

Narly: Total bummer dude!

Bob: Well as you can see, we have fish, we have puppies, we have kittens, what kinda pet do you two gentlemen wish to purchase?

Radical: A seagull.

Bob stands staring at Radical, who's face is serious. He looks in disbelief as Narly bops his head up and down with a cheesy grin.

Bob: A seagull?

Narly: Sha dude, big white thing, long wings, steals my ice creams when I'm totes walking around the beach, or chasing a crab who's just stolen my phone.

Bob: Is this some kinda joke?

Radical: Nu uh dude, a crab really did steal his phone. Then he chased it and go totes close, than a seagull swooped and stole his ice cream. Then he tripped over someone's sand castle.

Narly: Totes landed on my face. There was sand up my nose and everything dude.

Bob: I think you two should leave.

Narly and Radical look at each other and sigh before turning around and leaving the store. They stand outside and look at each other.

Radical: I get the feeling we're gonna hear this a lot today dude.

Narly nods in agreement as he looks at Radical.

Narly: Maybe we totes need to do what Simon Jones said on Twitter and ask Despy! Despy can find anything!

Radical grins widely as he looks at Narly.

Radical: Totally dude! I heard he once found a needle in a haystack.

Narly: I heard that too! I don't know who put that needle in the haystack or why some dude or dudette would put a needle in a haystack, but Despy found it!

The two bop their heads up and down, wide grins on their faces.

Radical: Ok, new plan dudey dude! First we find Despy, then we totes concentrate on beating Travis Nathaniel Jackson and Horace Andrews!

Narly looks his jaw, lowering his eyebrows, his best concentrating look on his face.

Radical: No dude, first Despy, then concentrate.

Narly: Got it dude! I was just practicing! To Despy!

The two moves down the road as the camera fades out.

2
Climax Control Archives / Dying Breed? No way! WAY!
« on: October 07, 2016, 05:53:11 PM »
 The heavy rains, aided by the even heavier winds, pelted hard against the windows of the small coastal homestead shared by the most awesome of dudes, namely Narly and Radical, the Surf Boys. The weather was a gift from none other than Hurricane Matthew, a storm that was striking just off the coast of Florida, and had more than once caused the two dude bros to lose power in their 'sweet little shack.' Had they been able to venture out and travel, they theorized that these most mighty of winds would have provided them with some major epic of waves to ride. But that probably wasn't the best of ideas, was it?

Hey, they had a thought -- and a smart one to boot! Who knew!?

Which would explain why Radical had his face pressed up against the window, looking outside with a pitiful expression on his face, while an equally bored Narly used this moment of the electricity having come back on to peruse (big word, I know) the world wide web. If he couldn't surf, at least he could watch videos of those that could while listening to his tunes! Cha! yet he heard a little *ping* in his ear and looked around, swatting at the non-existent pest until he realized the noise for what it was: an email.

Dude! An email! Emails totally RAWK!

Sitting up, he opened the email and read the contents and his face lit up before he called out to his tag team partner and most awesome of amigos.

Narly: Dude!

Radical: What?

Narly: Dude!

Radical: What?

Narly: DUDE!

Radical: WHAT!?

Of course, the reason Narly had to raise his voice to be heard was because he himself couldn't hear his own words, or those of his buddy, because he had the speaker phones on over his ears. He reached up to gingerly remove them and gave Radical a goofy smile.

Narly: Forgot I had the silly things on. Anyway, check it out! We have a match! A return match if you will!

Radical walked around the small table littered with takeout Chinese and canned cocktail weenies to cast a look at the computer screen and his eyes widened.

Radical: Duuuuuuuude!

Narly: I know, right!? Dying Breed! Our old broskis!

Radical: The same dudes we won the SCW tag titles from?

Narly: The very same!

The two surfers turned to one another and knuckle bumped.

Radical: Whoa! I wonder how if anything's changed since we last saw them in the ring?

Narly peers closer at the screen, then sits back with wide eyes.

Narly: Whooooa! Well THAT'S certainly different!

Radical: What what what?

Radical then leaned in for a look at the updated info on their opponents and he shook his head, making that funny sound with his lips and cheeks.

Radical: Yup! That's different alright! Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Narly: Nothing at all! In fact, maybe we should offer to march at their sides in one of those parades when this weather clears up?

Radical: Yeeeeah! Nice thought bro, but we'll get back to that later. This bit of news calls for celebration!

Narly: You don't mean...?

Radical: I do! Root beer floats for all!

The two surfers jump up for a mid-air chest bump when the cord on Narly's headphones reaches their length and jerks him back down with an audible "GRK!" and he hits the floor! Radical stands over his pal...

Radical: Need some help?

Narly: No I'm enjoying myself down here!

Radical: Oh!

He nods with a smile.

Radical: Alright!

And he hurries off to the kitchen to make said floats while Narly's hand reaches into the air for 'the help' before slowly lowering back down.

3
Climax Control Archives / Fourway! But TOTALLY not the fun kind!
« on: September 08, 2016, 02:20:00 PM »
 The Royal Ontario Museum is not only a place to stop and visit, to appreciate the world of art, world culture and natural history, it is a museum renowned for being the largest in Canada, one of the largest in North America, and it attracts well over one million visitors a year! Yeah, that's right! A year! First opening in the year 1914, The Royal Ontario Museum is noted for it being one of the largest collections of dinosaurs, minerals and meteorites, art from Near Eastern, African and East Asia, European and Canadian history, 150,000 fossil specimens and an extensive collection of fine arts in the world of design and fashion, including product design, interior as well as clothing.

With more than six million items and forty galleries, the museum's diverse collections of world culture and natural history contribute to its international reputation. So it was only natural that you would find two such well bred young men like the Surf Boys wandering about, appreciating what this museum had to offer.

*tires screech*

*the sound of a record player scratching*

Excuse me? The Surf Boys?

You heard, er, read this right! The Surf Boys! Don't believe me? Well just take a gander at THIS!

The sound of something slapping against the tile floor of the museum was heard almost like gunshots, even when in the center of a crowded museum, filled to the brim of people seeking to further their intellect and expand their cultural horizons. It was the sound of sandaled feet making their way through the throngs of people in the vast interior of the expansive structure, more specifically, just inside of the Daphne Cockwell Gallery of Canada.

Sandaled feet attacked to tanned legs attached to Bermuda shorts attached to neon pink and blue tank tops, respectively -- attached to, well you get the idea! Narly and Radical! Heads turned from all around to catch a glimpse of this unusual sight for an even more unusual duo, but the former World Tag Team Champions were none the wiser. Their eyes were hidden behind pairs of dark shades and their scalps were covered with drink caps. For those unenlightened sorts, that meant baseball type caps with cup holders on each side and straws. Rather than cans of soda inserted into the holders of their respective caps, both Radical and Narly had drinking glasses inserted into theirs, with crazy straws in swirled form stretching from the colorful drinks to their lips while their eyes roamed the exhibits within.

Radical looked up at a statue of a pretty morose looking dude -- or dudette. Doncha hate that about art? Sometimes you couldn't tell if something was supposed to be a very masculine babe, or a very feminine looking dude bro! Sort of like taking a stroll in downtown San Fran!

Radical: Dude?

Narly: Cha?

Radical: What are we doing here? I mean, I know you 'rock, paper, scissor, Spock'd' your way to victory and got to choose what we did today...

Narly: That I did mi amigo cam padre!

Radical: But I thought that we'd be hitting that gnarly castle! Or perhaps find a place where we can have some fun in the sun and wind surf! Gotta be a beach somewhere with all this water! And I...

Radical turned his head and saw his buddy and tag partner Narly with his bottom lip jetted out and watery puppy dog eyes.

Radical: Not that this museum of whatchamacallits isn't the totally rockingest of museums that one could go to!

Narly: Yeah?

Radical: Yeah!

The two surfers jumped up and chest bumped, which also caused their heads (which were too close together) to knock together in a mutual head butt. They came back down to the floor on their feet and shook their rattled heads.

Narly: Whoa!

Radical: Far out that was, a cohesive head butt! You okay my coolest of all cool dudes?

Narly: Totally! I just hit my head. Totally nothing I was using any way!

Radical: Yeah, that's what I figured.

Narly nodded, then got a weirded out expression on his face and gave Radical the ol' shifty eyes before he shrugged it off. The two fun loving surfer dude bros then exited the gallery and walked up the ROM steps from the third level where they had been, heading toward the fourth.

Narly: Dude.

Radical: What?

Narly: Dude!

Radical: What!?

Narly: DUDE!

Radical: WHAT!?

Narly: Check it out!

Narly was pointing one way, and Radical was looking another. Narly was mesmerized by the display against the wall where the stairs led upstairs, at a toy exhibit of practically totally ancient jeeps and trucks and cannons and the like! Radical however was watching a most bodacious babe further of the steps, bending over to adjust her heel and a MAJOR glimpse of Victoria's Secret!

Narly: Look!

Radical: I'm looking! I'm looking!

Narly: You ever see anything so outrageous!?

Radical: Duuuuude! To the MAX!

The aforementioned young woman stood upright and moved on her way, leaving Radical quite deflated as his shoulders slumped and a mournful expression on his face. Narly turned around and blinked at his buddy's sudden downtrodden expression.

Narly: Dude! What is it!? Did your unmentionables bunch up again?

Radical: Naw. I'm not wearing any. Didn't want to take the risk. I just lost her forever.

Narly: Lost who?

Radical: The future Missus! We were going to be married in the Bahamas and live in the Caribbean and we were even going to adopt a Himalayan Whistle Kid from the same place Madonna shops for her loved ones.

Narly blinked and turned to look into the camera.

Narly: Why do I feel like I totally missed out on something grand?

Narly turned back and patted Radical on the shoulder.

Narly: Have no fear! There'll be other fish in the sea!

Radical: Yeah but that was so TOTALLY my brand of tuna!

Still not understanding, Narly helped to lead Radical further into the museum's upper echelon of bits and baubles, their hidden eyes roaming everywhere at the historical artifacts.

Radical: You still haven't explained to me why we're in a museum dude.

Narly: It's simple science! Nobody would expect it of us, so we go with the unexpected!

Radical: Well I can't argue with that logic. Even I didn't expect it!

Narly: Exactly! And if even we don't expect to do what we're going to do, how can anyone else?

Radical looked around as if seeking confirmation from someone else, anyone else, but saw none. He instead turned to the eager face of Narly and held up a forefinger, jaw open as if to speak. he paused, nodded, then agreed.

Radical: Yeah!

Narly: Just like the strategy we're planning for Violent Conduct when we get a shot at the belts!

Radical: Title shot!

The two happy go lucky surfers jump up and aim for a high five but perpetually miss once again and palm slap the other's forehead! They come crashing back down, and almost fell -- ALMOST -- but were used to this mishap often enough that they steadied themselves before taking a tumble.

Narly: Ow!

Radical: Not cool!

Together: But it was FUN!

They laughed and drew yet more stares before they moved on, continuing their chat.

Narly: So as I was saying, if we do the unexpected now, and do it then -- AND do it when you get to wrestle on your own this weekend...

Radical: I'm not wrestling on my own. There are three other dudes in that match! A Fourway! But not the fun and naughty Late Night HBO kind of Fourway!

Narly: Ah! True! But we'll confound them with our strategies and secrets going into that match! We're winners! We know what it's like to win! We're former Tag Champs!

Radical: The most RIGHTEOUS former Tag Champs of Champions!

Narly: Totally! And with or without me in your corner...

Radical whimpered and Narly patted him on the head.

Narly: I'll totally be in your corner!

Radical smiled and nodded, satisfied.

Narly: You'll be prepared for anything that comes your way from those three. Expect the unexpected!

Radical: But if they expect the unexpected, won't then the unexpected be the expected?

Narly's eyes grew wide and he waved a hand ala the Force in front of him.

Narly: Whoa! Cosmic!

Narly nodded to his partner.

Radical: You have a point main dude o' mine! There's no way Jamie Dean, Sammy McPherson or Jon Dough will be able to know what hit `em!

Radical leaned over to whisper his next question.

Radical: Why? What's gonna hit `em?

Narly turned his head so that he was nose to nose with Radical.

Narly: YOU are.

Radical turned his head away, wide eyed.

Radical: Whoooooah!

Their plans set in stone now, or at least in their heads (which were as hard as stone), the pair moved on as a casual conversation followed.

Radical: Does your drinks taste funny too or is it just me?

Narly: Cha! Those Long islanders make a funky iced tea!

4
Climax Control Archives / Culture - SURFER Style!
« on: May 20, 2016, 09:19:21 PM »
 The National Bunraku Theatre had quite the respectable sized crowd watching in silent awe at the drama unfolding onstage before them. Over seven hundred fans, as a matter of fact, watched with rapt attention as the stage curtains drew aside and the two puppets emerged from stage left and stage right, both wielding swords.

Yes, you heard us right: puppets!

You see, where we are right here is the home in Osaka for traditional bunraku, traditional puppet plays, which have a long standing tradition and respect through centuries in the Orient. Founded in the year 1684, these stories and tales of Japanese history, myth and lore would draw in both citizens as well as visitors, both tourists and dignitaries, for centuries.

And just who might you wonder are seated right near the front row, watching with rapt attention?

Radical: Dude! What's going on? I can't understand a thing those old men are saying!

Narly: Cha, dude bro! You got me there! It's all Japanese to me!

Yep! You guessed right, dudes and dudettes! Narly and Radical, the most outrageous former World Tag Team Champions, were booked once again for active competition, and they were using this fact as a chance to do a bit of touring and enlighten themselves with a touch of culture.

Well that IS what one does when in Japan, right?

Well, one thing one does NOT do when in Japan, especially in such a refined setting as this, is bring hot dogs smothered in everything, because they were getting more than one disapproving look from the well dressed patrons around them. Of course there was also the loud talking, but all of this was lost on the lovable underdogs of SCW, as Narly and Radical continued to shove their dogs with everything into their faces, while rustling their hands into large bags of hot, buttered popcorn.

Radical: So, how are we supposed to know what's happening?

On the puppets's stage, one puppet dressed as a chivalrous knight, charged another and their wooden swords clashed.

Narly: Well I would dare hazard a guess that that dude has a problem with the other one!

The Japanese crowd gasped as a clash of mighty swords (!?) happened upon the stage. The puppets bobbed and weaved, as the swords attached to their puppet hands, struck the other and took swings at the other puppet, but was dodged. Dodged until the swords clashed again, and with a bit of flourish, the one villain was disarmed and his sword clattered to the stage below. The heroic knight then clobbered his vile villain foe to the ground, and there was thunderous applause from those watching.

Radical: Ya think!?

Narly: We totes should have brought our little buddy Despayre to see this! He always enjoys culture, just like we do!

Radical: Totes!

Narly: Totes! Next time!

The 'white knight,' the hero of the stage play, turned to the audience with sword raised, and all applauded. But unseen behind the knight was the villain who slowly rose again, with a dagger in his puppet hand. There was scattered gasps, but none so more loud than Narly who jumped to his feet, throwing his popcorn everywhere in his startled haste.

Narly: LOOK OUT! HE'S GOT A KNIFE!

And before you knew it, the doors to the National Bunraku Theatre were thrown open, and two certain surfers were escorted out (by force), sending their hot dogs and popcorn scattering to the pavement.

Narly: Aw c'mon dude!

Radical: Not cool!

The doors closed behind them, leaving Narly and Radical to look down with forlorn expressions at their lost snacks.

Radical: So, I guess that's it?

Narly: Why, whatever do you mean major dude bro?

Radical: Our evening of culture has been trashed like so much spilled popcorn -- and dot hogs! We might as well hit the gym and prep for TNA and the Acquin-Meister!

Narly: Not so fast, my fast minded friend! While we will be prepared to walk away the excellence of victors Sunday, we have one last stop in the path to enculture ourselves so we'll be more than ready to be heroes in Japan!

Radical blinks, clearly confused.

Radical: More cultured than we already are? But .. how??

The answer to THAT most intriguing of questions comes in the form of the Shinmachi Geisha House in Osaka, where gentlemen would go without the company of women, to be entertained by women.

Yeah, I don't get it either.

Dressed in their colorful Japanese robes and black socks (!!!), and seated at the low table, Narly and Radical watched in delight as one Geisha played her shamisen while others danced. Narly looked to Radical.

Narly: Are we the picture of culture or what?

Radical: Cha! Totally!

And they picked up their hotdogs with everything from under the table and took gaping bites...

5
Climax Control Archives / Get well ... well, someone?
« on: January 29, 2016, 08:43:43 AM »
 The patients and staff of Stockton, California's Lodi Memorial Hospital found themselves doing double takes as they watched two virtual mountains of balloons slowly shifting their way down the hall, past patient rooms and counters where the doctors and nurses alike were at work, but their attention taken by the odd sight. The two "mountains" consisted of what had to be dozens of colorful balloons of varied shapes and sizes, colors ranging from blues and purples, pinks and greens, and everything in between. Some of the helium filled goodies were even mylar, varied emblems printed on such as "Get Well" and "Hope Its a Girl". And if that wasn't enough tucked in each of their arms were sets of large teddy bears and boxes of candy, and tied to their waists was a string as from behind they pulled along a cart that had flowers in plastic vases riding along on it.

And under the two loads of "get well" gifts? Well all the staff and patients could see were two sets of feet adorned in colorful sandals.

Yep! You guessed it! The Surf Boys In Da Hood, er, Hospital!

Narly: Yo, dude?

Radical: Yeah, brah?

Narly: Where are you?

Radical: I'm right here.

Narly: Right where?

Radical: Right beside you ... to your left. ... I think. Maybe the right?

The two 'mountains' paused in the middle of the hall and one turned to the other and as best as could be done, reached up with a free (?) hand to part a few of the balloons and looked closer and ...

*BONK!*

Radical: Ouch!

Narly: Dude!

Radical: Dude!

Narly: Which one of us head butted the other?

Radical: I don't know. Let's just say we found each other and be happy about that.

Narly: Now to find Melly and give her these prezzies! Everyone feels better after getting prezzies!

The two start to further their way down the hall and continue on their way to finding their gal pal, Melody Grace.

Radical: You don't think we went overboard on the gifts, do you?

Narly: Naw! Nothing but the best for Melly!

Radical: Yeah but are we going to have enough to get to the next show for our second - SECOND - match in two weeks?

Narly: ..... Well we'll cross that camel on the bridge with the match when we come to it.

Radical: Definitely! CJ and Eric won't know what hit `em!

Narly: No cheating with foreign objects dude of dudes! Not our style.

Radical: Not what I meant but food for thought!

The pair turned the corner into a particular room and promptly dropped their packages and let the balloons float up. They set the candy and teddy bears onto the bed stand and bed itself and only then did they see what was before them. Their eyes opened wide.

Together: Duuuuuude!

Before them in the bed was a patient in a full body cast.

Narly: Aww Melly! That Candy babe really did a number on you!

Patient: Mm nt Mlly...

The patient muffled from under the cast.

Radical: A lot worse than what we thought! She get you backstage too Melly?

Patient: Mm nt Mlly!

Narly: What's that you're trying to tell us Melly?

The patient wiggled their fingers just barely, catching the attention of the two dingbat competitors, then pointed down toward their chart on the bed. Curios, Narly picked it up and with Radical hovering over his shoulder to read too...

Narly: Jeff Mezrui...

The two looked at each other with wide eyes.

Together: Dude!

They then looked at the patient in the bed.

Narly: Was this a last minute decision Melly!?

The patient sighed and rolled his eyes, just as a nurse walked into the room.

Nurse: Excuse me, gentlemen?

Narly and Radical looked around the room to see who she was talking to, before they turned their attention to her.

Nurse: I'm afraid I am going to have to ask you not to disturb the patient during recovery.

Narly: Ah! Of course!

Radical: We totally understand!

The nurse starts to escort them from the room, leaving their presents for their "pal" and Narly turns to Radical.

Narly: You think she would have warned us first before going and doing that sorta cosmetic surgery!

6
Climax Control Archives / A Day At The... Gym?
« on: January 29, 2016, 07:35:55 AM »
 A gym setting is seen as the camera goes from dark to light. Rows of machines are seen, as are people using them. Amongst the crowd, two confused looking men are seen, instantly recognizable as Narly and Radical, collectively known as The Surf Boys. The two stand in just Bermuda shorts as they look around the people working out. Narly turns his head to Radical, a look of confusion on his face.

Narly: Dude, what are we like doing here?

Radical rubs his chin, also a look of confusion on his face.

Radical: I have like no idea dude.

Narly nods his head slowly, but stops.

Narly: But this was your idea bro-migo.

Radical: It was?

Narly: Totes dude!

Radical rubs his chin in thought.

Radical: Are you sure? Maybe you like had too much coconut juice last night.

Narly: Nu uh. I said like let's totes go to the beach before we like visit Melody, and you said sha, but we totes need the gym like first, then I said, like first like before the beach or first like before Melody, and you said sha and I got confused.

Radical: Then I watched like a penguin video on youtube!

Narly: Sha ya did!

The two attempt a high five but miss dramatically, before hitting each other in the head. The two turn in pain rubbing their heads, but Radical smiles.

Radical: I so remember! That knock to the noggin totes helped me remember why we are like here!

Narly: Why dude?

A sad look crosses Radical's face.

Radical: Totally forgot already. No wait! It's back! We like got like another match dude in SCW, it's totes like more than one match over the last two weeks, and every dude and dudette like go to these places when they have lots of matches to get lots of muscles so being dropped on the booty doesn't hurt as much.

Narly: My booty is still bruised from being dropped on it last week dudeo.

Radical: Sha dude, mine too, but with more muscles, it totes won't hurt as much and we so won't have to sit on rubber rings anymore if we do like others do and get our muscles here.

Narly: You can get muscles here? How much are they dude?

Radical: I don't know but they must so have them in the gift shop!

Narly: We should totes check later.

Radical: Sha ah! For sure dude but while we're here, we should so do what those other dudes in SCW do and try this whole work out thing.

Narly nods in agreement and turns towards a combo weight machine, weights and pullees above, handles to the side as well as leg weights.

Narly: I totes want a go on that!

Narly moves in front of the leg weights and sits on the floor cross legged in front of them, his hands where feet should go and starts to lift with a struggle as a crowd of confused faces look at him.

Radical: Dude, I think you're doing it wrong. I think it's totes something that goes on your back to do push ups under.

Narly scratches his head and moves in to a push up position, the weights on his back. He does a push up, before turning his head to Radical.

Narly: Totes easier this way!

Radical's eyes light up as he points towards something.

Radical: Dude! There's a unicycle! Gotta give that a go!

Narly stands up and looks at Radical, running towards an ab roller wheel on the floor. Instead of using his hand, Radical jumps on it feet first and rolls the ab roller along with his feet before falling backwards and landing on his back.

Radical: Wipeout!

Narly moves over towards Radical and picks him up on to his feet. He moves Radical to a blue gym exercise ball.

Narly: Take a seat dude.

He points to the ball and Radical sits down on it a little too hard, bouncing him up in the air and landing next to the ball. He looks at Narly with sad eyes.

Radical: This is totes hard work. I don't know why people don't get their muscles like we do.

Narly: Totes agree, can't hurt your but in water on boards dude.

Narly sits down on a treadmill as Radical gets to his feet.

Radical: I think some music would totes cheer us up dude.

Narly grins and nods in agreement as Radical moves to the side of him. Radical presses a button on the treadmill, talking to it.

Radical: Weird music machine, totes play music.

A humming comes from the machine.

Narly: You got it to work dude, but I don't know this song.

The machine kicks in to life as Narly's eyes widen and the running belt below him starts to buzz and vibrate.

Narly: Dude, this totes feels weird on my tus...

Before Narly can finish his sentence, the machine send him flying across the gym, the sound of crashing heard as he flies in to something. Narly's voice can be heard off camera in a whiny tone.

Narly: My ass bruise now has an ass bruise.

Radical rushes over to Narly, picking him up amongst weights around him, pulling his dazed partner to his feet.

Radical: This place is totes dangerous and it never played my song.

Narly: That was totes a lousy jukebox. Can we like go visit Melody now?

Radical: Sha dude, maybe the doctor can totes look at your ass bruise.

The two nod together before walking away as the camera fades out.

7
Climax Control Archives / The elusive "any" key
« on: January 22, 2016, 06:39:56 PM »
 "Well east coast girls are hip,
I really dig those styles they wear!"

An out-of-tune singing voice was heard belting out the classic Beach Boys tune and Radical of the Surf Boys came out in the shack apartment he shared with his bro surf buddy Narly. The digs resembled a typical surfing movie residence, and if you think that's a stereotype, then you haven't laid eyes on the man himself.

Radical had on a Hawaiian style polo shirt, red in color with white outlined palm trees printed, and matching Bermuda shorts, sandals were on his feet as was the norm for him and his tag team partner, and on his head was a baseball cap that fit two cans of Sprite in them and an extra long straw that ran one end to both cans, and the other to his lips. He was singing along with the radio that hung from the bamboo rafters above his head, and carried a closed laptop computer tucked under his perpetually tanned arm like he might a surfboard on normal days. He walked up to a small dinette table, one of the few pieces of furniture he and Narly owned that didn't have some form of Hawaiian theme to it, although the tropical colors it came in could argue the point. Taking a seat, still humming the tune, even though it had ended on the radio station, and he flipped the laptop open and pressed the power button.

Radical: Far out, now let's hope this little doohicky is worth what we paid.

After a fair few moments, the laptop booted up with a soft *ping* and entered the wonderful world of high speed internet. Taking an extra deep slurp from his straw, Radical leaned in and looked at the words on the screen.

Radical: Hm, press any key to continue...

Biting his lower lip, Radical started to look over the keys of the laptop, his eyes searching over each one.

Radical: Any key... any key...

His brows narrowed in confusion and he shook his head.

Radical: Bummer! I would have to go and get the one laptop missing the any key!

"Duuuuuude!"

At the sound of his partner and buddy's call of the mild, er, wild, Radical started and looked up just in time to see a grass skirt wearing, coconut bra sporting, Narly, sliding past him in his stocking feet, skid right past the screen and go crashing, making Radical wince. Radical watched as a bowl rolled past on the floor and several other little nick knacks stop rattling until he looked to his friend.

Radical: Er, dude of all dudes? That grass skirt you're wearing?

Off-screen  Narly: Yeah?

Radical: I do believe you're supposed to be wearing something underneath it.

Narly came back on-screen, blinking in confusion.

Narly: What do you mean surf bro dude? I'm wearing...

Narly started to part the grass but Radical quickly swerved the laptop in front of him. Narly looked down and his eyes went wide and his cheeks turned deep red.

Narly: Oops! Totally my bad as they say on the streets!

And he hurried back off-screen on the other side, Radical watching him go before shuddering.

Radical: That would make for a mighty uncool grass cut!

He turned back to the laptop and the never ending search for the any key, but had no time to pick up where he left off as Narly emerged back onto the scene, now wearing a colorful pair of Bermuda shorts of yellows, greens, reds and blues -- and still that coconut bra.

Radical: So what brings you to such a mighty excited state?

Narly: I just got a text from that bodacious bro that's not into babes!

Radical: Christian Underwood?

Narly: One and the same! He told me that we get to wrestle this weekend, here in sunny D!

Radical: You mean Sunny C?

Narly: Totally!

Radical: No way!

Narly: Way!

Radical jumped to his feet and the two Surf Boys jumped into the air for a chest bump -- a big mistake as Radical's chest met those firm coconuts of Narly's mid-air and he came flopping down with a grimace, holding his own coconuts -- so to speak.

Radical: Oh my aching manatees!

Narly: Bummer, dude! My most sincerest of apologies!

Radical: Totally my fault, bro! But have you been working out because your coconuts are more firm now than they've ever been!

Narly: No, no I just... wait, what?

The two blinked at each other, then looked at the camera and shrugged.

Radical: So, who are we wrestling? Some frightfully voltageous babe in jello I trust?

Narly: Fraid not! You still have to wait until Christmas to get that!

Radical: Bummer! So, who are we wrestling then?

Narly: That's just it! He said the details are online so I thought I'd ask you to hop on the Almighty Ethernet and find out. You know you're a lot smarter where it comes to computers than I am.

Radical: Compliments appreciated, my bra friend, but this laptop seems to be broken.

Radical takes a seat and motions towards the screen.

Radical: I mean, look! It says to press the any key to continue and the people who made this gadget forgot the any key!

Narly: Well that was mighty irresponsible of them to...

As Narly leaned down to look, his fingers brushed a key and the computer *pinged* to the web browser, and the two Surf Boys' eyes opened wide and they smiled.

Together: Far out!

A few moments of searching, and an accidental run in with a dominatrix fetish website, they finally managed to hit the right website and they looked up the run down (get it?) of this week's card.

Radical: Far out! Two honest and far out bro dudes! Simon Jones!

Narly: And if you think that's something, look who his partner is! Ben Jordan!

Radical: Isn't that the guy our little guy Despy says is just a Fig Newton of his own imagination?

Narly: That's the one!

Radical: Whoaaaa! This is going to be one serious mind trip! I guess that means we'll have to work on keeping Simon in the ring.

Narly: Why for?

Radical: Because if we let the imaginary dude in the ring, then Ben might be able to put a bigger hurting on us. Logic says to keep the guy who can hurt us more out of the ring.

Narly: Ah ha!

Radical jumps, looking up at Narly wide eyed.

Narly: I may have found the fatal flaw in your logic, my bro dude!

Radical: Do tell!

Narly: Well there's also the train of thought that if the Benster is what Despy says,.which would mean he's not what he is, then logic also says that he can't do anything to hurt us. You can't get hurt by your imagination.

Radical slowly turned his head back to the computer screen, as did Narly.

Together: Whoaaaa!

Radical: This is going to be by far a more far out match than I believe we've ever had, Narly!

Narly: I do believe you are right, Radical!

Radical: Say brah! I been meaning to ask you something.

Narly: The Walking Dead isn't based on a true story.

Radical nodded in comprehension.

Radical: Not what I planned to ask, but totally outrageous bit of trivia there! No, I was going to ask...

He pointed towards the coconut bra on Narly that had no straps.

Radical: How is that staying up?

Narly looked down at the coconut bra, then up and left to right to see if anyone was listening in. He leaned in to Radical and...

Narly: Will power.

Radical: Whoa....

8
Climax Control Archives / A day at the zoo
« on: April 10, 2015, 01:28:28 PM »
 The scene opens up near Verona in Italy. The Surf Boys stand around in a crowd. Many people with camera move past the duo as they stand in typical Surf Boy attire of bright Bermuda shorts, and palm tree covered shirts with flip flops on their feet. Both men have the SCW tag team championship belts around their waists. People walk past the wearing cameras around their neck and holding maps in their hands. Narly tilts his head towards Radical.

Narly: I'm like totes confused Bro-Migo.

Radical: Me too.

Radical scratches his head in confusion as Narly looks at him through narrowed eyes.

Narly: No dude. I mean like there's all this like awesome and historic places around this rawking city and like people from the SCW loony bin are totes going to those places but we're like here.

Radical throws his head back, as if to remember why the duo are where they are.

Radical: Sha dude! But not everyone has to face who we are facing this week.

Narly: We're facing someone?

A look of surprises crosses Narly's face as he looks at Radical

Radical: Like sha dude! Like you didn't get told.

Another confused look crosses Narly's face.

Narly: Nu uh, I didn't know, I just got an e mail forwarded to me by Christian Underwood of a sad looking pussy cat.

Radical: I got that too! That dude is obsessed with the sad looking puss puss but he also sent me a message that said Radical dude, you and the Narly one are totes in action this week, so don't leave the tag titles on the bus and show up because you're facing...

Narly: Facing who dude?

Radical: ROAR!

Narly jumps backwards, looking at his tag team partner with a look of shock and fear on his face.

Narly: Don't yell at me dude! That is so uncool!

Radical's face switches to a look of sadness.

Radical: Sorry dude! But there's no one that can say ROAR, when people say that word, they have to say it like totes loud.  

Narly: So we're like fighting a Katy Perry song?

Narly shifts his eyes around the crowd.

Narly: How do we fight a Katy Perry song and where do we find it in this crowd dude? I mean, I so never tried to get a song in a headlock.

Radical: Noooooooooooo Dud-e-o! It's not the song we need to headlock, it's tigers.

Narly shakes his head really fast, looking at Radical.

Narly: There is like no way I am grabbing a tiger by the head, like nu uh, no way, not even for a scooby snack. Even the song about grabbing a tiger by the tail gave me the heebee geebies! Nu uh, never happening!

Radical: No dude, you so miss my point. ROAR...

Narly: Stop shouting dude!

Radical: Force of habit saying that word. Anyway Bro-meo, Those guys are like called Dark Tiger and Big Tiger. They seem totes obsessed with tigers, and maybe one day, they will use eye of the tiger as a theme song, but they seem like they're a bit too much loving the tiger lifestyle, so I'm thinking that we come here and watch them and see what we can like, learn.

Narly runs his hand under his chin, looking thoughtfully at Radical, before looking up at the sign behind him that says "Gardaland". Narly looks back at the camera.

Narly: That explains nothing.  

Radical: Dude, it has a zoo, with tigers! All we gotta do is look at the stripy things and see what they do. I have this weirdo idea that these two dudes wanna be like the stripy cats so much, that they will fight like the little stripy cats  

Narly: Awesome idea! Let's go find some big, scary angry pussy cats.  

The two turn away and walk in to the place as the scene fades out.

A little while later.

Radical: This is not as interesting as I so thought it would be.  

The camera opens up with Radical looking over a wall at a tiger enclosure. His eyes move around four black and orange stripped cats, two laying in the sun, the other two strolling casually around the enclosure. Radical leans on the wall looking around at them when Narly appears next to him with a bright green and red parrot on his shoulder, in his hands, he holds an ice cream between each sets of fingers. He puts an ice cream in front of Radical, who reaches his hand out to take it.

Radical: Thanks dude.

Narly: No problemo amigo.  

Radical turns around to look at Narly, tilting his head as he see the parrot on his shoulder and looking closer at the bird.

Radical: Dude, I don't know if anyone has told you this before, but you look awesome with a parrot on your shoulder!  

Narly grins widely as he licks his ice cream.

Radical: Where did you get it?  

Narly: I have no clue dude. I was like standing at the ice cream place thingy and some dude said hold my parrot, and he put it on my shoulder and took a picture and I walked away. I think I'm gonna name him Bob.  

Radical takes a lick of his ice cream before looking back at the brightly colored bird.

Radical: Nice to meet you Bob.  

The parrot squawks towards Radical as Radical bops his head and smiles, before moving back to his ice cream. Narly takes a lick of his own before carrying on the conversation.

Narly: So what did you learn about the almighty tigers dude?  

Radical looks towards Narly with a slow shake of his head.

Radical: Not much, those two tigers there haven't like moved since I've been here and these other two are totes looking confused and like they're trying to find a way out, but can't see the exit sign, so they keep giving up and walking around in circles.  

Narly: This has not been a worthwhile thing.  

Radical: Unless...  

Narly looks towards Radical, seeing what he has to say.

Radical: Unless they come to the zoo too, to see the tigers and like, they see them laying around and think that that's how tigers are meant to act, and then they turn up in the ring and like, one of them lays on the floor and the other one walks around the ring a bit and looks confused, and while he's looking confused, we pin the one who's laying on the floor.

Narly: That.... is.... awesome!  

Radical: Sha it is!  

The two men high five but miss dramatically, hitting each other in the head and almost sending Bob literary flying off Narly's shoulders.

Narly: Totally hurt.  

Radical: Sha!  

The duo shake their heads and look at each other

Narly: Ok, plan time!  

Narly reaches in to his pocket and pulls out a cell phone. He starts to type in to the phone and reading out loud as he types.

Narly: Dear awesome dudes of R.O.A.R. Please come and visit the zoo, so that you can see what tigers do and adapt your style to be more like tigers, cause tigers rawk! Signed The Surf Boys. Annnnnnd send!

Radical: Dude, what did you send that to?  

Narly: Totes e mail, duh! They're not like bad dudes that we should hide from or anything, they're like totes polite and respectful usually unless you're Dying Breed and they wanna rip ya nads off.  

Radical winces in pain.

Radical: Ripping off man plums is so not cool.  

Narly: But to us, they've been cool, so we can still like talk to them without having man parts removed.  

Radical: Ok, so they come to the zoo, see that's the way tigers act, they lay down and we win this one, right?  

Narly: Correctamundo!  

Radical: Awesomeness, we are totes gonna walk away with our tag team titles after this one.  

Narly: Sha!  

Radical looks at Narly's waist.

Radical: Ummm, dude, where is your tag title?  

Narly: Well it's right there.  

Narly points to his waist.

Radical: Look again.  

Narly looks down to see the title missing.

Narly: Uh oh!  

Radical: Where did you last see it?  

Narly: Well I went and got ice cream, met Bob, stopped by the monkey cage... monkey cage!

The two charge off as the camera fades.

9
Climax Control Archives / Doing It For The Monkeys!
« on: March 20, 2015, 01:00:32 AM »
 The scene opens up on the streets of Munich, Germany, where the fun loving boy of summer, The Surf Boys are seen wandering aimlessly. Both men have their customary surf boards under their arms and a brown satchel rests over Narly's shoulder and resting on his hip. The two move through the crowd.

Narly:  It's gotta be here somewhere.

Radical:  Sha dude... wait, what has?

Narly stops in the street, spinning around and knocking his board in to the mid section of a middle aged man. Narly turns his head, apologetically looking at the man.

Narly:  Like sorry dude, didn't see you there.

The man puts up a hand before nodding and walking away, holding his midsection. Radical looks on impressed.

Radical:  The Germans are such nice people, I totes don't know why they have such a bad rep cause a funny dude, with a silly little mustache liked visiting other places with tanks.

Narly nods in agreement with Radical

Narly:  Sha! It's not like the whole countries fault.

Radical:  Anyway dude, what are we looking for again?

Narly:  The beach... duh!

A look of relief crosses Radical's face as he looks at Narly.

Radical:  Oh good dude, because I thought we was talking about that donut you misplaced earlier, that your bro of all bros might have....

Radical trails off.

Narly:  Have what dude?

Radical:  Have.... seen a mouse run away with it this morning... it was like so fast, it shot across the place shouting ariba, riba, and it was gone.

Radical scratches his head in confusion

Radical:  Wait... that was probably a cartoon... so the beach!

Narly:  Sha! The beach!

Narly spins around, forcing people to jump out of the way of his swinging board and the two begin to walk again through Munich. A sound starts to come out of the satchel on Narly's body.

Radical:  Dude!

Narly:  What dude?

Radical:  Your ass is making a really weird noise.

Narly:  Sorry Radical dude, I told you this German food didn't sit well with me before we left.

Radical points to the satchel resting on Narly's hip.

Radical:  My bad dude-e-o, it's totes coming from that bag thingy you have.

Narly:  Are you sure?

Radical:  Sha!

Narly:  Oh thank god!

A look of relief crosses Narly's face as he rests his surf board against the window of a nearby store. He spins the bag around to the front and quickly opens it up. He pulls out an iPad, and the sounds of Skype are clearly heard.

Narly:  Dude! It's Christian Underwood!

Radical moves next to Narly as Narly hits the accept button and the face of SCW owner Christian Underwood appears on the screen.

Narly:  Hey sometimes long haired dude, that now has photos around that makes you short haired dude!

Christian instantly leans back in his chair, a solid look of confusion on his face as he stares down a camera.

Christian:  I did not understand a word of that.

Radical looks at Narly, whispering to him.

Radical:  Dude, because we're in Germanyland, does that mean we talk and he hears us speak Germanyland language.

Narly's eyes widen as he nods in agreement, forcing Christian to shake his head.

Narly:  That has to be it!

Christian:  Now I know why Mark makes me call these guys.... No, Radical, it's coming through English.

Radical:  Bummer dude, cause I was so gonna ask you to record this so I can see what my coolio accent sounds like in Germanyland language.

Another shake of the head from Christian fills the screen as he moves forward.

Christian:  Guys, Mark has stolen my Starbucks card again, which is weird considering I haven't seen him in a week, but he sent me a ransom note for it.

Narly:  Do you want us to help you pay the ransom?

Christian:  No! My point is me with no Starbucks takes away at my patience and I have other calls to make today. I'm just letting you know that you two have a match on Sunday for the Tag Team Championships.

Radical:  Dude, you totes got the wrong number, because we're like not the tag champions.

Christian breathes deeply, a very unimpressed look on his face.

Christian:  You have a shot at the titles against Dying Breed! You could become the SCW Tag Team champions if you defeat them on Sunday.

Narly:  Gotcha dude, and like, who's the other team in the match?

Christian:  What other team?

Narly:  Well every time we get a tag title shot thingy, there's like three teams, and someone pins us, and the champions complain they never got pinned and you dudes in the office get some totes angry Nellie telling you bad words.

Christian:  There is no other teams, Dying Breed Vs The Surf Boys for the tag titles. Call it a birthday present or something! Look, I gotta go, I'll see you both on Sunday.

Christian quickly ends the Skype calls and Narly and Radical look at each other. The two start jumping up and down in the street, their arms around each other as the circle around. The two stop and look at each other.

Radical:  Happy birthday dude!

Narly:  Thanks dude.... wait... it's not my birthday!

Radical:  Christian said it was a birthday present and it's not my birthday...

Narly:  Maybe it's his birthday and he like got too many presents so he gave that one to us.

Radical:  That must be it!

Radical's face changes to a look of thoughtfulness, a rare thing for the dimwitted man.

Radical:  Wait, what if Christian Underwear was like... playing a trick on us and he's like totes joking and we like turn up for the show and he sprays us with a fire extinguisher?

Narly:  That sounds pretty awesome!

Radical:  Yeah it does!

The two attempt to high fight but miss each other's hands and catches each other on the forehead. The duo turn around, rubbing their foreheads before turning back to each other.

Radical:  One day, we will get that right.

Narly:  Sha! Anyway, this pad thing here let's me see like wrestling cards and like forums on the SCW site, so I can see if that dude is giving us a match, or getting the fire extinguishers ready.

Narly starts to tap away on the iPad, running his fingers over it and grinning widely.

Narly:  Dude! He wasn't joking, we like have a match with just us and them in it.

Radical:  Radical!

Narly:  That's so your name but...

Narly's face turns to instant sadness.

Narly:  But on the forum thingy bobs, no one thinks we can like win the titles at all. They're all like Dying Breed are like so cool, and like they're gonna win.

Radical:  Don't be down my water friendly bro-migo! Every dude and dudette out there says that but we like win from time to time and we could this time.

Radical taps away at his chin.

Radical:  Maybe people like think they will win because they look more like champions, because they're not fun enough to wear like cool, bright clothes like us, so if we like dress like stars and cut one of those things.

Narly:  Cut a cake?

Radical:  Nu uh dude.

Narly:  Cut a rug?

Radical:  Naaaaaaaaaaaaah

Narly:  Cut your toenails?

Radical:  A promo!

Narly:  Damn, that was my next guess!

Radical:  I know it was dude-iano Ronaldo, but I like remembered it and had to say it before I forgot.

Narly:  Right, so we need like flashy clothes, and a like cool setting to talk about Dying Breed and people will like think that we can win?

Radical:  Sha!

Radical looks up at the store behind him to see men's suits on mannequins in the window. He quickly look at the camera.

Radical:  Isn't that lucky?

Radical points at the door and Narly nods and the duo quickly walk inside. A little while later, the two emerge, their upper bodies seen in the camera to show them both in white button down shirt, the collars opened at the top and a black suit jacket on. Both men's hair are neatly tied back. They look at each other with an approving look slide back sunglasses on. Radical points off camera.

Radical:  And that my dude, is where we do the promo thing.

The two walk away, the camera turning to follow them as they cross a road, their lower bodies coming in to view to show both men wearing bright Bermuda shorts on their lower halves, with flip flops on their feet... What? You really thought they would change that much?

The scene fades out and back in to see Narly and Radical sitting on a sand pile.

Narly:  So like, do I go first here? I do? Right, sha, dudes and dudettes, we don't like do these but we have to like totes talk about Dying Breed. Are these dudes like gonna go extinct if we hit them or something?

Radical:  Maybe.

Narly:  That would totally do the opposite of rawk, what's the opposite of rawk?

Radical:  Paper.... no wait.... scissors!

Narly:  That would totally scissors! We don't want to make them be like the dinosaurs.

Radical:  But we do want their tag titles!

Narly:  Sha we do, we like so want their tag titles, cause... why do we want them?

Radical:  Cause they would look totes amazeballs with our surf  boards and cause we've never won them, when like everyone shows up and wins them.

Narly:  Sha! What he said! We are so gonna win them for like those reasons. We've like done this thing for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and never won those titles. Winning those titles would be like hitting the biggest wave ever in front of lots of bikini babes.

Radical:  Or watching a monkey do the macarena!

Narly:  Sha! Cause that would be like awesome! That is so the reason we want to win this.

Radical:  Sha! Cause if we win these, all the monkeys that can do the macarena will want to hang with the coolest tag team champions there's like ever been. Like evers and evers so Dying Breed, we will take those titles from you, because we wanna hang out with the macarena monkeys and those belts will make us cool enough to do that!

A commotion behind the two causes Radical to stop and the camera pans out to see the men sitting on a sand dune in a building site. A group of builders approach the two as they spring to their feet.

Narly:  That's our cue to leave dude.

Narly and Radical move away from the group of builders, Radical looks at them.

Radical:  It was the only sand we could find!

The angry looking mob move closer, Narly turns to the camera one more time.

Narly:  Remember, we're doing it for the monkeys!

Narly and Radical make their way through the building site as the scene fades.

10
Climax Control Archives / Where's Cyril?
« on: August 08, 2014, 10:23:51 PM »
 The Surf Shack, known by it's ditzy owners, Narly and Radical, aka The Surf Boys. Located next to the beach (duh!) the cameras moves across the golden sand and to the door of the wooden shanty. A crash comes from behind the door and Narly's voice wails out.

Narly: Duuuuuuuuuuuude!

Radical strolls from off camera, pushing the door open.

Radical: Yeah I am!

The camera follows Radical in the room.

Narly: No dude!

The camera spins to see Narly pinned under a pile of clothes, mostly brightly colored shirts with palm trees on them. Radical scratches his head, a confused look on his face.

Radical: Like dude o' dudes, that's like a totes funny place to have a nap.

Narly: Not napping dude

Radical moves over to his team mate, kneeling next to him.

Radical: Want a soda?

Narly: Sha! But can you get this like, mountain off me?

Radical pushes the clothes off him and sits next to him, tapping his blonde friend on the head

Narly: Thanks dude.

Narly sits up, shaking his head and looking around him.

Narly: I see birdies.

Radical: I see one of your dodo eggs hanging out ya shorts.

Narly's eyes widen as he covers up his crotch area.

Narly: That one keeps escaping. It's like he's had an argument with the other one and wants to like, move out of my under the butt nut hut.

Radical: Weak dude.

Narly bops his head in agreement.

Radical: So dude, what was you doing under a pile of clothes? Was you making out you was a little mouse again and that was your fort of soltitatude.

Narly: No way dude, but I might tots do that later.

Radical: Totes good idea!

Narly: I got told we have this like awesomeness match against these guys for SCW, so I was looking for that one thing that we take with us all the time.

Radical: The blow up dolphin?

Narly grins widely.

Narly: Sha dude! But I couldn't find it.

A look of sheer disappointment crosses Narly's face, but Radical taps Narly on the shoulder and points to a hammock.

Radical: He's over there dude.

Radical grins, looking proud of himself and Narly springs to his feet, running towards the hammock and reaches in, lifting out an inflatable dolphin.

Narly: Cyril!

Narly hugs the dolphin and grins widely while Radical gets to his feet.

Radical: So dude, who are we facing in SCW.

Narly: ROAR.

Radical jumps back, looking scared at his tag team partner.

Radical: DUDE! You didn't have to shout.... that was scary!

Narly: No dude, that's their name?

Radical scratches his dread locked head, tilting it slightly.

Radical: We're fighting a Katy Perry song?

Radical's eyes widen.

Radical: Is she gonna be there?!?!?! I'm like a big fan of her and she always brings her own inflatable's to the beach!

Narly shakes his head really fast before stopping.

Narly: I see birdies again. No, they're like ROAR like tigers, ones a big tiger and ones a dark tiger.

Radical scrunches his nose up

Radical: So we're not fighting music, we're fighting animals.

Narly: Sha dude.

Radical: Awesome! Right, you put Cyril in the trunk and I'll book us some tickets there. Where's this almighty show?

Narly: Los Angeles.

Radical: And where are we?

Narly: Los Angeles.

Radical: Awesome! I'll find out when the next flights leave to go to Los Angeles from Los Angeles, and you like find your passport in case it's in a different country.

Narly: You got it dude!

The two high five, missing each other and hitting their partners in the head. The camera fades out as both men wince, rubbing their heads.

11
Climax Control Archives / Toys For Tatas
« on: December 13, 2013, 05:14:25 PM »
 
TOYS FOR TATAS


The door to the store known locally as 'Fascinations' slid open with hardly a sound, the customers for this establishment that catered to a more risque clientele with even more risque merchandise, somewhat uneasy and perhaps a little bit anxious (and by anxious, we of course mean excited) at entering, or being seen entering a place such as this.

Radical: Dude! You sure this is the right place?

Narly: Cha! I did the, like, google thing, and it totally directed me here!

Radical: You know how to google?

Narly: I had to google how, but sure!

Radical: Far out!

Narly: Besides, as far as being at the right place, that chick with the see through top TOTALLY gives it away!

Radical: Where!? Where!?

Narly was bumped into roughly as he leaned through the open frame of the entrance to the adult store and he hit the tiled floor with a gust of air bursting from his lungs as his tag team partner, Radical, pushed through and looked about excitedly. He then caught sight of something to his immediate left and his face lit up with excitement.

\'user


Radical: Dude! Is this her!?

Narly rolled over onto his back and slowly sat up, rubbing his chest with one eye closed and the other squinted half shut, peeping up at his buddy and tag partner.

Narly: Yah! Do you see any other babes in here with tops like that?

Radical: Sure! There's one over there ... and there! Oh and check out the gazongas on that one THERE!

Narly: Hey! This place looks like that Quik-E Mart we're always buying our munchies at!

\'user


Radical: Oh yeah? You ever see one of these at the Quik-E Mart?

Radical asked him, pointing at a mannequin that was wearing a chainmail bra that just barely covered the nipple region.

Narly: Well yeah, but she didn't know I was looking.

Radical: I meant, the outfit.qq

Narly: Yeah. So did I.

The Surf Boys then moved further into the random aisles of Fascinations Adult Toys and Novelties, looking things over closely. Scrutinizing them for what would best serve their united purpose, or so what they believed their united purpose actually was.

Radical: This sure is a strange way to promote a wrestling show, isn't it?

Narly: Definitely! But it is Sin City Wrestling and Mark and Christian promoting it, so in a way... it makes sense.

Radical stopped for a brief moment to turn and just stare at his partner. Narly shrugged and looked around, holding his arms out.

Narly: Well, it does! Toys For Tatas? Who loves a good set of tatas more than ol' Hot Stuff himself?

Radical looked up in thought (laugh it up readers, I know you want to!) and scratched a finger in his scalp before he snapped his finger and smiled broadly.

Radical: Us, that's who!

Narly looked at Radical and smiled, and both Surf Boys bobbed their heads rapidly in excited agreement.

Narly: Well said my fine surfer bro, well said! Nothing best describes the season of giving than a giant pair of...

A young clerk, buxom and comely in every sense of the word, walked up and smiled.

Clerk: Can I help you?

Narly turned and his eyes fell just below the neck.

Narly: ...Tatas.

Clerk: I beg your pardon?

Radical: Oh no it's cool. No need to apologize. We're just having a look around.

The clerk nodded and clapped her hands together, ready and eager to help make a sale.

Clerk: Well then, can I help you find anything in particular?

Narly looked around before he himself answered.

Narly: Yeah, um... we're here for Toys For Tatas.

The clerk nodded knowingly, something finally making sense with these two nitwits... or so she thought at the time.

Clerk: I see. Okay, we can definitely help you two there. Now! What sort of toys do you like to see your boyfriend here wear?

Narly: Well I've always been partial to him in... waitaminutewhatwasthat?!

Narly gaped and Radical shook his head vigorously, making that comical sound with his lips.

Narly: Come again?

Radical: Dude! Watch the language in front of the lady!

Narly looked from Radical to the clerk and shuddered.

Narly: Hello! Awkward most bodacious of babes! This isn't for us! It's for a charity!

Clerk: A ... charity.

She repeated, clearly having a difficult time in believing these two were anything but what their actions at the time had her assuming. Narly and radical both bobbed their heads, smiling and nodding to get their point across.

Radical: Totally! The boss men got this event going where they want everyone to bring Toys For Tatas. They say whoever does, gets in free and easy.

The clerk blinked, clearly getting in even deeper with this colossal misunderstanding.

Clerk: Wow. You guys must work for one wild ride.

The Surf Boys smiled and high fived one another.

Narly: Nothing wilder than the heavy hitting action with a couple other wild dudes!

Radical: `Cept for maybe the wild waves! Nothing better than riding the wave up and down and up and down and...

Narly: I think she gets the picture, bro dude man!

Clerk: Unfortunately I think I do.

Radical: Oh good. I was thinking I'd have to draw you a picture.

He blinked and then shook his head.

Radical: And I'm not sure how.

By now the clerk was rubbing a hand hard down her own face, clearly out of her element, even in a workplace such as this. She cleared her throat.

Clerk: Well, I'll just let you gentlemen browse through our store and if you need any help, just let me know, `kay?

Both Radical and Narly waved all friendly like toward the clerk as she beat a hasty retreat to the relative safety behind the sales counter. In the meantime, our Surfer heroes seemed to have cooked up a bit of a 'battle plan' to get this done even faster.

Radical: Tell you what! You go check out the videos, see if there's anything on Tata Toys!

Narly: Right! How about you?

Radical: I'll look on these shelves and the wall. There are books and they might have a few tits, tips! I meant... tips.

Narly rolled his eyes.

Narly: Suuuure you did, bro. Sure you did.

The two then separated but both continued their conversation, their voices carrying over the mostly empty shop at this early period of the day.

Narly: So you'd think our opponents would be here too, wouldn't you?

Radical: You'd think! Jordan's a smart one! You'd think he'd have had the same brilliant idea as we did.

Narly: That I did.

Radical: And that other guy? He's the one Despy dude says is a figment of our imagination?

Narly: That's the one! This is going to be WAY cool! We've never wrestled a fig newton of our imagination before! Ben Jordan! He's got a cool name for a guy that's not real!

Radical: Most fantasy guys do. I asked Christian about him last week.

Narly: Yeah? What'd he say?

Radical: That he had a few fantasies that involved Ben Jordan too.

Narly: Far out! Hey! Dude! Guess what I just found?

Radical: What, dude?

Narly hurried over, carrying a DVD case.

Narly: It's one of those movies Mark Ward made before he became a wrestler!

Radical: Bodacious discovery! What's it called?

Narly looked at the cover and read...

Narly: The British Are Coming.

Narly frowned, then shook his head and looked at Radical.

Narly: Must be some kind of historical movie.

Radical: Well, get it. It never hurts to broaden the mind for such wise bro dudes such as ourselves.

Narly: Cha!

Radical: Hey check out what I found when you called me for that astounding find.

Narly: Is it that edible underwear?

Radical: Better!

He held up a paperback book with an elaborately drawn cover.

Radical: Its called the Kama Sutra.

Narly: Hey I know her! That's the big bodacious babe that was mowing down all the chicks in WWE!

Narly grabbed the book from Radical and opened it up to somewhere in the middle, then let loose a shriek and dropped the book to the floor.

Radical: Dude! What is it!? What's wrong!?

Narly: My eyes! I just pictured her in one of those positions! I need Ajax for the eyes!

Radical: Shake it off bro! Shake it off! I need you for that match against Jordan and Imaginary Ben!

Narly: And the Battle Royal!

Radical: Right! We can win the tag team match and then win the battle royal!

Narly: Can we both win that?

Radical: Why not? Then we can go on and win the big one!

Radical looked over to the perplexed clerk and pointed with a smile.

Radical: There's nothing better than getting hold of the big one, is there?

Clerk: That's always been my personal mantra.

Radical looked at Narly and gave him a thumbs up.

Radical: I like her!

The Surf Boys then moved down another aisle...

Narly: Check it out! Battery operated swords!

12
Climax Control Archives / Fun Guns!
« on: May 28, 2013, 03:42:48 PM »
 "You wouldn't believe this dude!"

Narly sits staring at a phone, whilst sitting in a deck chair outside a wooden hut. The sun shines down on the hut, as the sound of waves crashing on a nearby beach somewhere slightly in the distance. Radical walks out of a little wooden door to see his tag team partner sitting looking excited.

Radical: Dude! You like totally found your phone!

Narly looks down at his phone, and smiles brightly.

Narly: Sha! I totally did!

Radical: Where was it dude?

Radical curls his lower lip down.

Narly: Can't remember dude.

Radical nods his head slowly.

Radical: Thanks for the phone update dude!

Narly: No problemo, mi surfing amigo!

Radical: Dude!

Narly: What?

Radical: You like leaned how to speak German too!

Narly looks confused

Narly: I did?

Radical: You did! You said amigo!

Narly: Whoa!

Narly shoots up from his deck chair and looks at Radical seriously?

Radical: Did a bee sting you on the beach bum again?

Narly: Nu uh dude! You said Amigo, that must mean you speak German too!

Radical: Radical!

Narly: Yeah you are!

Radical: Oh yeah, cause that's my name.

Narly: Right dude!

Radical looks proud of himself.

Radical: That just totally rawks dude!

Radical turns to walk in to the surf shack, but Narly calls out to him.

Narly: No wait, my dread locked haired buddy, I wasn't talking about my phone.

Radical: You wasn't?

Narly: Nu uh, it was something I saw on the phone.

Radical: Was it ice cream again?

Narly: No way, it was something on scwrestling.net.

Radical's face brightens up.

Radical: I know that place! That place was totally awesome with the little bear dude, and the magic guy, and the Aussie chick, and milfalicious, and and and that ego guy.

Narly: Which one?

Radical: Ummmm, there was lots of them.

Narly: And the most awesome dudette in SCW, Mel Mel.

Radical sighs.

Radical: I miss Mel Mel.

Narly: Me too. We totally need to make her our official manageress.

Radical jumps up and down on the spot, a wide smile on his dopey looking face.

Radical: Sha! She should totally stop being unofficial and become totally official.

Narly and Radical attempt to high five but completely miss each other.

Radical: So what did you like see dude?

Narly: Everything I look at.

Radical smiles and bops his head up and down.

Radical: Sha ya do, or we'd have to get you one of those seeing eye crab things.

Narly: They're like totally expensive.

Radical: Yeah, cause it costs a lot of money to train one of those things to stop nipping at your toes.

Narly nods in agreement

Narly: I saw that those awesome dudes in the Sin City Wrestling, are like totally in California and want us to appear at their show.

Radical's eye widen

Radical: No freakin' way dude?

Narly: Freakin' way dude!

Radical starts to dance a little, shaking his behind before jumping up and dancing a little Gangnam style before kicking his leg in the air. His flip flop flies from his feet and flies away, catching a passing cyclist on the side of the head.

Radical: Sorry dude, some kid totally threw that and run away.

The cyclist looks at Radical as Radical slides the other flip flop off and kicks it behind Narly's deck chair.

Radical: I don't think he knew.

Narly: No way dude, he totally thought it was a kid throwing flip flops.

Radical: Happens all the time.

Narly nods in agreement

Narly: Anyway dude, they totally want us to wrestle against this like team.

Radical: Sinful Obsession? Blood Omen?

Narly: Guns For Hire.

Radical brushes the dreadlocks away from his eyes

Radical: Ummmm, who dude?

Narly: Guns For Hire, they're like...

Narly stops in his tracks and scratches his head.

Radical: Uhhhh, dude?

Narly: I have no idea.

Radical: So do we have to go hire guns or something?

Narly shrugs his shoulders.

Narly: I hope not dude, I mean guns are bad.

Radical: Sha! They're like right up there with cold days, sharks, clowns, drugs, cigarettes, rude people, people who don't appreciate creativity, people who don't see a good thing when it's right in front of them....

Narly: ... and those total crackpots on the television talent shows.

Radical: Sha! Guns are that bad!

Narly: Also broccoli.

Radical: Sha! Broccoli is totally nataslicious!

Narly: So they want us there, to fight these guns they've hired.

Radical puts up his hand stopping Narly.

Radical: Waaaaaaaaaaaait, hold the phone.

Narly: I am!

Narly raises his phone and waves it at Radical.

Radical: Awesome. But I meant waaaaaaaaait. They've hired guns and they want us to wrestle them?

Narly: Looks like it.

Radical: But guns can't even do like a headlock.

Narly looks confused at Radical, but a big smile breaks out on his face.

Narly: Because they don't have any arms, right?

Radical bops his head and smiles at Narly.

Radical: Totally!

The two attempt another mistimed high five

Narly: Do we need to hire guns? I'm like confused at what they want.

Radical puts a finger up.

Radical: I got this one dude, we don't need to spend money hiring guys, we totally have guns.

Narly: Do they have arms? Cause if so, we so need to teach them how to a headlock.

Radical: No dude.

Narly: How about legs? We can teach them how to do a legdrop, like that old dude on television

Radical: What old dude?

Narly: I don't know.... brother.

Radical looks completely blank.

Radical: No legs, but they're fun.

Radical steps inside the surf shake, and crashing noises are heard, as hell as Radical's voice behind the door.

Radical: Ow... oh... ah.... ow....

Narly: Are you ok dude?

Radical: Palm tree to the coconuts, PALM TREE TO THE COCONUTS!

As Narly moves towards the door, Radical pushes it, catching Narly in the head.

Narly: Ow! I knew it was a bad idea to have a door that opened both ways.

Narly opens his eyes while rubbing his head.

Narly: What ya get dude?

Radical: A pair of aching coconuts.

Narly: You went in for aching coconuts?

Radical: No.

Radical moves his arms to the front, to reveal two water pistols. Narly grins a toothy grin.

Narly: SHA! GOOD GUNS!

Radical hands one to Narly.

Radical: Right, let's train with these fun guns, and then when we beat the SCW guns.

Narly: Cause they have no arms.

Radical: Totally. But when we beat their guns, pineapple pizza on you!

Narly: Sha!

Radical walks past Narly, hitting him on the back. Narly's face changes to confusion.

Narly: Wait.... what?

Narly turns around and heads off in Radical's direction as the camera fades out

13
Climax Control Archives / Off to the zoo we go
« on: December 05, 2012, 07:06:11 AM »
 The Surf Boys are seen in their very own Surf Shack. Surf Boards are seen around the room, mounted on walls, and a small television sits against the wall in the room. On the sofa, SCW's part time superstars and full time, slower than the average person, Surf Boys are seen watching TV.

Radical: It's nearly Christmas dude

Narly: No way!

Radical: Way!

Narly: Wasn't it Christmas like eleven months ago?

Radical: Sha dude! We totally need to get people Christmas presents

Narly: We do?

Radical: We do!

Narly: Like what dude?

Radical: Suntan lotion for Milfalicious, new pack of cards for the magic dude.

Narly: Sha, he goes through a lot of cards

Radical: Cork hat for Aussie lady, some gold polish for the Spike dude, some baby oil for the Italian guy.

Narly: Why baby oil?

Radical: Cause the dude must use so much of it.

Narly: Sha

Radical: Bikini for Melody Grace.

Narly: Dude!

Radical: She's hawt!

Narly: Totally

Radical: Some hair ties for the long haired boss dude, some cherry coke for Despy, a santa hat for the teddy bear.

Narly: Face paint for the goth dude?

Radical: Sha! Good thinking dude! Ummmm, how about some money for the rich kid?

Narly: Sha! He likes that stuff.

The sound of a phone ringing, playing Surfin' USA plays somewhere around the room. Radical bops his head up and down.

Radical: I love this song! Everybody was surrrrrrrrrrfing, surfin'USA!

Narly: Um dude, think that's like your phone or something?

Radical: No way!

Narly: Way!

Radical reaches in to his pocket pulling out an old looking phone and holds it up to Narly.

Radical: You were totally right!

Narly: Answer it dude! It could be your mother!

Radical: Right!

Radical presses a button on the phone.

Radical: Hello, oh hey Mr Wood.... sorry, Underwood.

Narly: Underwood? That's a funny name, can't believe no one told him his name could be a slang term for boner.

Radical continues to listen

Radical: Uh uh, sure, like we can do it. Who would be facing?

Radical's eyes widen.

Radical: Like real life lions that are young?

Radical listens, but sighs a huge sigh of relief

Radical: Oh thank god, I thought you was making us fight lions, that would not be cool. Have you ever been close to a lion? Their breath is totally not narly

Narly: I'm Narly!

Radical: Yeah you are!

Narly: Yeah I am!

Radical goes back to his conversation.

Radical: Totally Mr Underwood dude! We'll see you Sunday!

Radical hits a button on the phone and puts it back in his pocket.

Narly: Who was that?

Radical scratches his head and looks at Narly

Radical: That was Mr Underwood dude.

Narly: Awesome!

Radical: He called to tell me we were fighting Young Lions, but he must have been confused

Narly: Why Dude?

Radical: Cause we're not fighting lions, we're sitting on the sofa!

Narly: Sha we are!

Radical: He did say we need to learn about young lions.

Narly: To the zoo!

Radical: To the zoo!

The duo bop their heads and leap up.

*******

The scene changes to the local zoo. A crowd move around looking at various animals, located in different areas of the zoo. Narly and Radical are seen amongst the crowd, standing out in Bermuda shorts, an unusual choice of attire considering the early December chill in the air.

Narly: So where's the young lions and what do we need to learn about them?

Radical: I dunno, he just told me to go learn about young lions.

Narly shrugs.

Narly: He's the dude who pays the moolah, so let's go find out about these young lions.

The two walk though the crowd and Radical jumps up and down, pointing in a direction away from them.

Radical: Over there dude!

The duo move in the direction that Radical pointed and stand before a cage with Lion cubs in the cage. Narly points at a plaque in front of the cage

Narly: Maybe that will tell us about young lions!

Radical: Totally!

The two look at the lion facts inscribed in to the metal plaque. Narly reads them out loud

Narly: Lions stalk their prey needing to get close for a surprise attack. The tall, dry grass provides an excellent camouflage. With Wildebeest in the distance, this lioness stalked right past vehicles seemingly unaware of their presence.

Radical: Does that mean we're like Wildebeests and they're gonna stalk us?

Narly: Sha! We gotta be careful about them sneaking up on us!

Radical: What's the next one say?

Narly: The average male lion weighs around 180 kg (400 lb) while the average female lion weighs around 130 kg (290 lb).

Radical: So they're totally gonna outweigh us, so we totally need to be like quick

Narly: Sha dude!

Radical: Read on dude!

Narly: Lions can reach speeds of up to 81 kph (50 mph) but only in short bursts because of a lack of stamina.

Radical: Ok, so we run around the ring, then they get tired, fall over and we win!

Narly: Sounds like a plan!

Radical: When lions breed with tigers the resulting hybrids are known as ligers and tigons. There are also lion and leopard hybrids known as leopons and lion and jaguar hybrids known as jaglions.

Narly: I totally want a Liger!

Radical: Tigon sounds cooler!

Narly: Nu uh!

Radical: Ya ah!

Narly continues reading

Narly: In the wild, lions rest for around 20 hours a day.

Radical: That's one lazy lion!

Narly: Sha dude! New plan!

Radical: We had an old plan?

Narly: Good point! New old plan!

Radical: What is it?

Narly: We run around faster than fifty miles an hour, they get tired, sleep for twenty hours, and we pin them!

Radical: Awesome plan!

Narly: Sha!

Radical: We got this!

The two nod in agreement as the scene fades out

14
Supercard Archives / Save the chickens!
« on: August 06, 2012, 05:39:16 PM »
 The top deck of the cruise liner, set for SCW Summer XXXTreme, overlooking the pool and many of the SCW stars relaxing and interacting with fans. The camera moves in to two of the most fun loving SCW stars, Narly and Radical, The Surf Boys.

Narly: Dude, this thing is like one giant surf board.

Radical: Sha dude, but with totally more people on it.

Narly: Oooooooh, I just got an awesome idea! We need to invent a surf board that like, six people can use at the same time and turn it in to a total Olympicnic event.

Radical: Olympicnic?

Narly: Sha! Like an Olympics, but everyone brings a basket instead of paying twelve dollars for a hot dog.

Radical: That.... is.... awesome!

Narly: Sha dude! Instead of rings on the Olympicnic's flag, we could totally have a chicken leg on it

Radical: Chicken legs rawk dude, but I feel sorry for all those one legged chickens out there after people eat their legs.

Narly nods seriously

Narly: Maybe we need to invent wheelchairs for chickens. Everyone loves chicken legs, which means there's lots of chickens flapping around with no legs.

Radical's eyes widen

Radical: That is so not cool!

Narly: Totally not cool.

Radical: We need to change that!

Narly: Sha, we do, like make the chickens crutches and wheelchairs.

Radical: Great freaking idea dude, we so need to do this.

Narly: Ya ah! We could be like heroes to every chicken in the world for this one.

Radical scratches his head

Radical: What about the ones with no wings?

Narly: Then they wouldn't be any good with crutches, because they won't be able to rest it under anything and if they have no legs too, they'll probably fall over too and break their beaks.

Radical: Dude, we need to make people aware of chickens in need.

Narly: We should totally run a telethon or something and make people donate to the cause of the chicken. I mean those poor chickens, someone needs to teach them how to speak, they only know one word.

Radical: What word?

Narly: Buck..... all they say is buck buck buck.

Radical: Oh good, cause I thought a chicken called me an idiot once.

Narly's mouth opens wide.

Narly: What a rude chicken dude!

Radical: Sha! Totally mean chicken.

Narly: We need to tell the world about our chickens in need, but how?

Radical: Twitter dude!

Radical reaches in to his pocket and starts typing a message to twitter from his phone "Save the chickens, people keep stealing their wings and legs! #ChickensInNeed #ChickensAreNotJustToGoWithBBQSauce ~ R "

Radical: And send

Radical nods and puts his phone back in his pocket

Narly: Every chicken in the world thanks you dude

Radical: They do? That is awesome, chickens know who I am!

Narly: Sha they do!

Narly tries to high five Radical, but Radical turns around and Narly hits him on the back of the head.

Radical: Dude! What happened?

Radical rubs the back of his head

Narly: A seagull came down, punched you in the back of the head and flew away laughing.

Radical looks up at the sky, waving his fist

Radical: Damn you seagulls!

A cackle comes from above them

Narly: Birds don't like you

Radical: I don't know why, they just have something against me.

Narly: Sha! But forget the birdies, cause they're totally flying so far away now, you can't catch them and ask why.

Radical: Fast moving pesky critters

Narly: We need to find Casey Williams dude, we got that present for him!

Radical: Sha! We do!

The Surf Boys walk down the deck, past an unattended fishing rod, the reel pulling out fast.

Narly: Dude, someone caught a fish!

Radical: Reel it in! There's no one else to do it.

Narly grabs hold of the rod, furiously reeling in as fast as he can. The rod bends forward and Narly moves towards the edge. Radical grabs him around the waist and holds on to him as Narly pulls the rod in. Narly whips the rod back and a boot flies onto the deck.

Narly: I caught a boot!

Radical: Ya ah! Awesome dude!

Narly drops the rod and looks at the boot

Narly: Woulda been better if they came in a pair

Radical shrugs

Radical: Tots dude!

The two walk off, through a door. A few minutes later, the two are seen outside a door in a hallway, Radical holding a bag.

Narly: Are you sure this is Casey dudes room?

Radical: Sha ah! I like see him running out there like an hour ago, but we never had these

Radical shakes the bag

Narly: Are you like sure Casey dude just didn't just get lucky and was sneaking away while dudette was asleep.

Radical looks blank and knocks at the door. The two stand waiting, but no one answers.

Radical: Maybe we should leave them outside his door

Narly: You sure he will know it's from us?

Radical reaches in to the bag, pulling out a pair of yellow Bermuda shorts, with white palm trees on.

Radical: Who else would they be from?

Narly: Point taken dude of dudes.

Radical puts the shorts back in the bag and leaves them on Casey's room door handle

Radical: Dude!

Narly: What dude?

Radical: Secret meeting time!

Narly nods and the duo take off down the hall as Casey opens his door. Looking at the bag on his handle. He reaches in to the bag, pulling out the shorts and holding them in front of his face. He shakes his head with a smile, before taking them and the bag back in the room, slamming the door.

Minutes later.

The Surf Boys are seen sitting on the floor, under a table, the table cloth falls down to the floor. Narly looks at Radical

Narly: Are you sure she knows where we are?

Radical: Sha ah. In the bar, under the table by the back window

Narly: Does she know the password?

Radical: Sha ah

Narly: Radical

Radical: Sha?

Narly: No, I mean radical as in radical, not Radical as in you.

Radical: Gotcha

Narly: Dude, I know this is a team meeting thing to show us how to win the titles, but I already know how to win the titles

Radical: How?

Narly: Beat Sinful Obsession!

Radical: Best idea ever!

A knock on the table causes Narly to jump up, hitting his head on the table

Narly: Ow, hurtfulness!

Radical: Dude, that could be her.

Narly rubs his head

Narly: What's the password?

Female voice: Coconuts

Radical: Is that the password?

Narly: I dunno, you set it

Radical: Oh yeah! I think that's right. Come in.

Melody Grace puts her head under the table, climbing under the table. Narly looks at the camera

Narly: Sorry camera dude, secret meeting means no camera dudes

Radical puts his hand over the camera, and the scene fades to black

15
Supercard Archives / Total Beach Randomness
« on: July 30, 2012, 11:11:01 AM »
 Sitting out on the beach, staring at the waves crashing on the beach in the sun, The Surf Boys, Narly and Radical are seen staring in to the blue ocean. Both men are dressed in Bermuda shorts, with palm trees on, Narly in white with blue palm trees and Radical in yellow with white palm trees on. Narly looks nervously at Radical.

Narly: Dude, I'm nervous

Radical's face crunches up, in a look of confusion

Radical: Duuuuuuuude, totally wondered what that smell was.

Narly's eyes go wide as he shakes his head fast

Narly: Nuh uh dude, that so wasn't me, I didn't do the crime.

Radical: You so cut the cheese

Narly: I don't like cheese

Radical bops his head slowly

Radical: Cool story bro

Narly smiles

Narly: Yeah it was!

Narly bops his head

Radical: So why are you nervous ol' Radical one?

Narly: Dude, you're Radical.

Radical: Sha I am!

The duo try to high five but Narly misses and lands face first in the the sand. He sits up spitting sand from his mouth

Narly: Weak dude.

Radical: That looks like it tasted just nasty

Narly: So tasted like sand

Radical: So it didn't taste like chicken?

Narly: Why would it?

Radical: Cause everything tastes like chicken.

Narly: Dude, speaking of chicken, I heard an awesome chicken joke

Radical: Is it the one about a chicken crossing the road? Cause I think I heard that one

Narly: Nuh uh dude.

Radical: Ok, what's your joke?

Narly: What do you get if you cross a chicken and a flea?

Radical: I dunno dude

Narly: An itchy co...

Radical: Whoa dude, family show!

Narly: What is?

Radical: Ummmmm

Radical looks at the camera

Narly: Well?

Radical: Erm, I dunno. That Christian dude told me to ignore the camera

Narly: What camera?

Radical: Ummmm.

Narly: Anyway, nervousness.

Radical: I'm not nervous

Narly: I am

Radical: No way!

Narly: Way!

Radical: Why didn't you say anything dude?

Narly scratches his head

Narly: Musta slipped my mind

Radical: So what's with the nerves oh dude of dudes?

Narly: Well, Summer XXXTreme

Radical giggles like a school girl

Radical: XXX

Narly bops his head with a smile on his face

Narly: I hear XXX, I think boobies

Radical: Dude, family show but boobies rawk!

Narly: Sha! They do!

Radical tries to high five Narly, but also misses and ends up with a face full of sand. Radical sits up, spitting out sand

Radical: You're right dude

Narly: YAY! Erm, about what?

Radical: Does taste like chicken.

Narly bops his head as he looks at Radical seriously

Narly: Tot-al-ly

Radical: So nerves

Narly: Yes, nerves, like big time nerves

Radical: Whhhhhhhhhhhy?

Narly: Dude, I never been on a boat before, like uh, what if I get seasick? Like when those wave get really high and the boat jumps and I get a bit seasick.

Radical looks down the camera, frowning and scratching his head.

Radical: But you surf dude

Narly: Sha, but not on a boat dude. Those things are like totally huge and jump up and down.... plus they will hurt more if they land on you, but a surf board just gives me a bump on the head. I think a boat landing on me like, might give me two bumps

Radical: Uncool!

Narly: Totally uncool, like so uncool, it's almost as hot as a roasted wiener.

Radical: But roasted wieners rawk too!

Narly looks at the camera, his hands flat out, before he turns back to Radical

Narly: Are you saying you like wiener?

Radical: Sha!

Narly giggles

Narly: Radical loves wiener! Radical loves wiener!

Two young women walk past the two, Narly points at Radical

Narly:  Hello ladies, he likes wiener

The two laugh as Narly bops his head. The phone rings next to them and Radical picks it up.

Radical: Hello?

The voice of Nelson from the Simpsons is heard

Nelson: you like weiner? Ha ha!

A dial tone is heard and Radical scratches his head

Radical: I so don't remember giving Nelson my number

Narly: whoa! Total animated celebrities are noticing us.

Radical: That must be why we got a tag title shot dude!

Narly: Sha! We are Nelson endoresed.

Radical: Don't focus on the motion in the ocean dude, focus on the tag gold dude, we can be champions on that boat.

Narly: Sha ah, it's gonna be awesome. I've never had a title before dude.

Radical: Wow! Freaky!

Narly:  What dude?

Radical: I've never had one either!

Narly: No way!

Radical: Way!

Narly:  Whoa!

Radical: Double Whoa!

Narly:  Sha!

Radical: It's awesome that we get to go against Sinful Obsession, those dudes have been like unbeatable for like forever, but we can do it, cause we're like the surprise team of SCW, we're like the team no one expects to win but we've like totally won here.

Narly: Sha! But I think we should worry, like Milfalicious has been missing since that Despayre dude, blew that magic dust stuff on her and she's like fallen off the face of the planet. Like poof! Disappeared like a cake in front of a chunky dude.

Radical: Sha! But we can totally win, like win and be champions and have like everyone chasing us.

Narly: A dog chased me once

Radical: You had a burger in your pocket though

Narly: Sha

Radical: And a crab chased you.

Narly: Sha! But that crab was just looking for trouble.

Radical: He was evil.

Narly looks uneasy

Narly: She dude

Radical: No freaking way? You run from a chickette crab

Narly looks sad

Narly: Ya ah.

Radical: It doesn't matter dude, once we get those titles, and everyone loves us, we'll totally have the respect of everyone and no one will chase you again, those crabs will deal the awesome and fearful Narly. Crabs will totally chase you for your autographs

Narly: And not to nip at my tootsies?

Radical: Your tootsies will be safe dude of dudes.

Narly: Good, cause I like my tootsies

Radical: See, we can be champions dude, your tootsie will be safe and maybe we can meet that bear from the movies.

Narly's eyes go wide

Narly: We could meet Ted?!

Radical: Sha!

Narly: That would be pretty freakin' sweet dude.

Radical: Sha! That beat is one awesome little bear dude. Not as awesome as Angel, but still, sweet.

Narly: I wonder if Angel knows him

Radical: Probably, and yogi too!

Narly: We need to hang with these bears

Radical: Right after we win those tag titles.

Narly: So motivation. We win the tag titles, from the funny dude and magician dude, we go out there and and put on a show, shake their hands afterwards, then we party on the big boat, eat a lot of shrimp, then we come home and party with Angel, Ted, Yogi, Boo boo, and Top Cat?

Radical: Top Cat isn't a bear dude

Narly: No, but he seems like he'll be fun to party with.

Radical: Sha.

The camera moves around the duo to behind them. Narly puts a hand on Radical's shoulder as the sun goes down behind the ocean

Narly: We will be champions and party.

The two stands up as the sun drops down future. The camera starts to fade out to Radical's voice.

Radical: Dude, is it me or did that sun go down really quick?

16
Supercard Archives / Leaning And Learning
« on: June 11, 2012, 07:04:03 PM »
 The Surf Boys, Narly and Radical are seen leaning on a wall overlooking a beach, the two's hair still slightly darker than before after their little scouting trip. Narly looks at Radical and nods.

Narly: Dude, your hair totally looks awesomer than it did like before

Radical: Hair by Odette, that hot dudette is pretty good with lemon juice

Narly nodes

Narly: Hey dude of dude, I was thinking...

Radical: Did it hurt?

Narly: Sha! Totally, how did you know?

Radical: Cause when I think, my head starts to hurt and I need a nine hour nap

Radical rubs his head, his face looking filled with pain

Narly: I have those days, know what I call them?

Radical: What dude?

Narly: Sunday.

Radical's eyes widen as he jumps up and down on the spot, looking at Narly

Radical: No freaking way! That's an awesome name, where did you get it?

Narly: No idea dude. it just appeared to me one day, can't remember what day that was though. Probably a Monday or something though

Radical: So what was you thinking?

Narly scratches his head

Narly: I dunno dude, totally forgot, what was we talking about?

Radical now scratches his head

Radical: I have no idea, but nice hair dude.

Narly: Thanks dude.... I was thinking....

Radical: Did it hurt?

Narly leans back against the wall.

Narly: Whoa! Deja dude moment

Radical: Whoooooooa!

Radical spaces out looking at the water crashing hard against the beach.

Narly: Anyway, thinking. You know that Odette hottie chickette put lemon juice in my hair to like lighten it up, right?

Radical: Sha!

Narly: Well I was totally drinking it before she did that, does that mean my heart is now blonde? And my belly? And the inside of my gentlemen?

Radical: Whoa dude! Are you trying to tell me the inside of your nads are now like.... blonde?

Narly: I don't know dude, these stupid X-Ray specs don't work.

Narly reaches behind his back and pulls out x-ray specs, the like you would find in a childs comic book. Narly throws the glasses to one side

Radical: Bummer dude.

Narly looks sad as he looks down at his flips flops below his blue bermuda shorts, with painted white palm trees on them.

Narly: I so bought them to look at the ladies.

Radical: But the ladies come to us, first milfalicious Misty, now Odette.

Both Narly and Radical look in the sky, smiling and drifting off in their own little world.

Narly: She is like doubley hawt! I mean like super hawt.

Radical: Like a red hot chilli pepper?

Narly: No, not like that band, they rawk and all, but nope, I mean those things that come on pizza

Radical: Like jalapeno hawt?

Narly: Like habanero hawt!

Radical smiles and nods

Radical: Sha! Totally dude!

Narly: We need some secrets from Stoner on how to pick up hawt chickas mi dudeo!

Radical: Sha! We like do dudinho!

Narly and Radical attempt to high five but miss each other, hitting each other in the head

Narly: Face five!

Radical: Sha!

A cheer from behind the two fills the air, causing Radical to jump, Narly just takes a bow

Narly: Thank you! Thank you very much!

Radical scratches his head

Radical: For what?

Narly: Whatever they was cheering me for.

Radical face palms himself

Radical: Sha! Of course, totally!

Narly: People love me. Every time I stand here, people cheer for me, I think it's cause I changed deoderant and everyone applauds that super choice.

Radical sniffs the air

Radical: You smell funky

Narly: Thank you

Radical shakes his head

Radical: Not in a good way funky, as in a funky way funky, like you've left a hot dog down the back of the sofa for three days and it's gonna like... funky.

Narly: Oh

Narly looks disappointed

Radical: Don't worry dude, it's ok

Narly: It is?

Radical: Sha! Just don't stand next to people.

Narly nods and takes a step to his left, away from Radical.

Narly: Better?

Radical: Better

Another cheer distracts the two from their rambling nonsense and Radical turns around, looking up at the wall they're leaning on

Radical: Hey dude

Narly: Yes dude

Radical: We've been here for like three hours, just leaning, just chilling, just making friends with this wall, right? Did you know the wall is connected to this bar?

Radical points behind him, showing a beach bar

Narly: No way!

Radical: Way!

Narly: How long has it been a bar? Was it like built while we were standing here?

Radical shakes his head fast before holding it.

Radical: Ugh, dizziness is a beast, but I dunno.

Narly: Is that where the cheering came from?

Radical: I hope so or there's some mad little smurf running around my hair again and yelling in my ear.

Narly: Dude, that never happened

Radical: Sha ah it did.

Narly: No dude, the doctor just said it was bad chicken at two in the morning that made you see things that wasn't there.

Radical: Who orders chicken at two in the morning? That's chicken that's probably been sitting there all day and would give you food poisoning or something. Who would be cuckoo enough to do that?

Both Narly and Radical turn to face the camera, both tilting their heads, before looking back at each other

Narly: Not even we're that stupid.

Radical: Sha!

Both men attempt a high five but miss each other completely

Narly: I need a drink

Radical: Well there's a bar right here

Radical points towards to the door.

Narly: What are the chances that for hours, we'd be leaning against a bar and I'd need a drink.

The two turn and walk in the bar, seeing a crowd of people waving around English flags, as a "football" match as the English supporters would call it, is seen on a large team. Narly and Radical walk towards the Hawaiian set bar and look at the screen.

Radical: Oh, so people were cheering at the soccer and not you.

Narly: Better call it football, I hear the guy who likes putting words in our mouths calls it football.

Radical: What guy?

Narly: THAT guy

Radical: Oh THAT guy

Radical looks confused

Narly: Wait? You mean they wasn't cheering me?

Narly looks disappointed.

Radical: Sorry dude

The two make their way to the bar, standing next to a bullish looking bunch of fans, tattoos, no hair and missing teeth, their backs draped in England flags. Narly looks at the person behind the bar.

Narly: Two pineapple juices please dude!

Radical: Hey dude! English people! Further scouting!

Narly: Talk about luck!

As the barman shuffles off, Radical turns to one of the fans, a man in his forties, scars across his forehead and tattoos down his arm, his hair cut very short.

Radical: Who's playing?

Man 1: Are you taking the piss?

Thick English accent fills the air as Radical looks down.

Radical: Nu uh big scary English football hooligan type dude, that puddle was here when I got here.

The man looks at the much smaller Radical. A second man intervenes, another football fan

Man 2: Stop scaring the locals Phil, it's England Vs France in the European championships lads. Come join us, cheer on the mighty Three Lions

Narly turns around, handing Radical a pineapple juice.

Narly: Dude, there's lions in this game?

The man looks down at Narly

Man 2: No son, three lions, English nickname, British pride and all that bollocks

Radical: Awesomeness!

A huge shout of HANDBALL! Echoes from the England supporters, Narly looks at Radical and back to the fans

Narly: Is that bad?

Man 2: Not if you're an England fan. Free kick to England, you're not allowed to use your hands, that's why it's called football.

Man 1: Yeah, not like your poxy yank game, you call it football and use your hands,

Narly and Radical nod slowly, not quiet understanding anything said to them. Narly takes a sip of his pineapple juice as a shout of FREE KICK! Echoes through the bar, causing Radical to choke on his pineapple juice.

Man 1: Dirty French bastard! Blatant push

Radical: Sha!

The group of England fans look at Radical, but Radical nods his head firmly. The group watches the England free kick drifted in. The group watch an England defender rise up and head the ball past the goalkeeper and in to the net. The hooligans cheer, picking Narly and Radical off their feet, jumping around in wild celebrations

Narly: Whoooooooooa!

Radical: This is fun!

The fans put The Surf Boys down as a huge chant of "ENG-ER-LAND, ENG-ER-LAND, ENG-ER-LAND" almost lift the roof off the bar.

Narly: Ok, scouting report update, English people are crazy!

Radical: Sha!

The England fans still jump around in celebration as replays are shown.

Narly: So we worked out Gothic people like Goth don't like daylight and like to be all scary and darkside. They also like way too much make up, they listen to heavy metal and they really don't like light colors.

Radical: Totally right dude. Goth also said he's a bad liar, so he tells lies, naughty, naughty Goth. He also seems to like blood, which is weird because with all that make up, you'd think he's got no blood in his body. He likes scaring people.

Narly: He don't scare me

Radical: Seriously?

Narly: Ok, he scares me! It's the make up, make up should be for chicks.

Radical: Agreed dude. We learned about English people today

Narly: Sha! We learned that they turn England in to Engerland when they watch sports and that they like tattoos.

Radical: I don't really wanna fight Johnny Brown though.

Narly rubs his brow

Narly: Why dude?

Radical: Cause remember when I put I felt breezy on twitter, he told me my mouse could have been out the house, and he was right, my mouse was out the house and that coulda got me in serious trouble. I blame the speedos, they need to so make the front wider.

Narly: He said about over cooked hot dogs.

Radical: Nothing wrong with those dude.

Narly turns around to the screen to see the game, to see the goalkeeper, the one player on a football team allowed to use his hands, catch the ball in the air.

Narly: I got this.... HANDBALL!

The group of fans look at Narly, some with confusion, some with anger. Narly ducks behind Radical

Radical: He means ENG-ER-LAND, ENG-ER-LAND, ENG-ER-LAND!

Radical's words start off a chant amongst the England fans.

Narly: Thanks dude, I thought they was gonna eat me or something.

Radical: Dude! You're not a chicken wing you know.

Narly:  I'm not? I mean, I'm not.

Narly looks proud of the fact that he's not a chicken wing.

Radical: Ok, so we learned about Gothic people, and we learned about English people.

Narly: We also learned about an Aussie chick while she did our hairs.

Radical: Sha, that was an awesome added bonus.

Narly: All this learning is so much harder than most people think. I need a nap

Radical: Awesome idea dude! See ya England football people!

No-one takes any notice of them, too engrossed in the game to care. Narly and Radical head towards the exit as the scene fades out

17
Supercard Archives / Scouting -- the Surf Boys way!
« on: June 07, 2012, 01:13:41 PM »
 Sunday June 3...Climax Control

Wyatt is celebrating in the ring. From out of the crowd, Tom Dudely hops over the barricade and climbs onto the ring apron. Wyatt turns around and runs at Tom. Tom drops to the floor as Wyatt swings wildly. Goth and “The Brand” Johnny Brown come running down the ramp. They slide into the ring and start hitting Wyatt with forearms to his back. Wyatt attempts to get away from them but is eventually backed into the corner. “The Jackal” Adam Smith soon joins in on the attack. Tom climbs into the ring to join in on the attack as well.

Simone: It looks like we know who Tom’s handpicked opponents are for Wyatt at Into the Void.

The four men continue to stomp of Wyatt in the corner until the crowd bursts into cheers. The Surf Boys, Narly and Radical, come running down the ramp.

Adams: What are the Surf Boys doing out here? They aren’t a part of this feud.

Narly hits the ring first and Johnny Brown turns around and runs at him. Narly drops down and crawls between Brown’s legs. Radical springboards into the ring hitting Brown with a flying forearm. Brown rolls out of the ring as Adam Smith turns around next to challenge the Surf Boys. The Surf Boys hit Smith with a double dropkick. Smith hits the mat and rolls out of the ring. Goth runs at the Surf Boys but they drop to the mat, pulling down on the top rope. Goth’s momentum carries him over the ropes and to the floor.

Motel 6 - Las Vegas

A great deal of people were surprised that the SCW's resident knuckleheads aka the Surf Boys had it in them to intervene against the four-on-one attack against Wyatt Peterson. Those people don't know Narly and Radical very well. They may not think like you or I (they do think you know ... sorta!), but they know the meaning of loyalty and fairness. Narly and Radical have been the best of awesome friends for years, ever since they were little surfers running on the beach with their first little micro boogie boards. This past Sunday they saw an unfair four-on-one ambush and did not think twice about inserting themselves to make the save.

.....

"Dude, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Why most righteous of dude bros, one might think you didn't have faith in my stragety for our opposition!"

"Oh no, it's not that! I'm just unsure about going to these lengths, y'know? I can 'get' working out. Hitting the waves to build stamina and all. But is this going to work, d'ya think?"

"Of course!"

The bathroom door in the hotel room shared by Narly and Radical aka the Surf Boys, swung open and out stepped our two favorite surfing ding bats. Wait, it is them, right? It's kind of hard to tell now because what was once golden blonde tresses on both dudes... is not ebony black.

Narly looked at radical and pointed to his noggin and his eyes were wide with wonder.

Narly: This is going to, like, totally wash out... right?

Radical waved away his tag team partner's concern and had that familiar grin that was a perpetual norm for both young men.

Radical: Cha! It says so right on the bottle! You know it's true when it's in the Wal-Green's bargain bin!

Narly: Totally! Just one thing... why didn't we just use wigs?

Radical stared at his friend and partner as if he were horrified.

Radical: Wigs??? Oh dude. Dude dude dude!

He shook his head and placed his hand on Narly's shoulder.

Radical: Because we are sooo not Dolly Parton! That country chick rocks a mean sweater, but this is wrestling! They call it a gentleman's psycho--psycho.... well psycho game of chess. Wyatt is a King, our opponents are pawns, and we're a couple of mighty queens!

The two stare at one another for a brief few seconds and then frown, the two of them.

Radical: That almost worked, didn't it?

Narly held up a thumb and forefinger a hair's width apart.

Narly: We are soooo going to score with this idea!

Radical: Right on! We have to win this match, especially after what went down Sunday.

Narly: Whoa. You actually saw that? She told me were safe!

Radical: Far out! ... Wait. ... Huh?

Narly: Nothing! Nothing at all...

Narly allowed his eyes to roam everywhere in their Motel 6 room and he puckered his lips and belted out a tune of innocence that even his naive tag partner didn't quite buy, judging by the arch of his eyebrow. They turned and looked at each other once again.

Radical: What were we talking about?

Narly: Goth, and getting into his frame of mind I do believe.

Radical tapped a forefinger to his temple and nodded, eyes wide.

Radical: Riiiiight! The bro with the most awesome of hats in SCW is depending on us, so it's a good thing we put our heads together on this one.

Narly nodded.

Narly: Way! We did as much as we could scouting the ways of the Brits.

Radical: I never want to see another serving of fish n' chips in my life.

Narly: I know man! One can only survive the pangs of Long John Silvers before one blows chunks! Tartar sauce and all!

Radical: Wait, you got tartar sauce with yours? I like tartar sauce. Why didn't I get...?

Narly: Focus dude! Fooooocuuuuus!

Radical: I am! I am! ... On what?

Narly stared at Radical and blinked a few times before he reached up with his left hand and scratched idly at his scalp.

Narly: Canadians?

They looked at one another and goofy smiles crossed their faces and they bobbed their heads in excitement.

Radical: Riiiight! Now do we need to try to get into his mind because I don't know about you, but Canadians freak me out. Getting into their heads is not for me.

Narly: Do tell.

Radical looked around the room and then leaned over and whispered to Narly;

Radical: It's that whole 'we always get our man' thing.

Radical pulled away and Narly stared at him with his eyes wide open.

Narly: Whoooa! Dude! I never even thought of that! So he's like, looking for a few good men?

Narly stuck his forefinger of one hand through the other hand's encircles thumb and forefinger in the universal sign of...

Radical nodded.

Narly: Dude! That is so more Christian's speed than ours!

Narly and Radical looked at the camera and they said in unison;

"Not that there's anything wrong with that."

Narly looked to Radical.

Narly: So we're agreed, we don't go there -- even just to scout the Jackass?

Radical: If you mean the Jackal, most negatively definitely, uh-uh!

Narly tapped his chin and appeared deep in thought (and everyone knows that appearances can be deceiving).

Narly: So the end of the road is our scouting of Goth's environment. We did the hair -- and did it awesomely I might add.

They bobbed their heads with smiles.

Narly: We got the clothes ready, so all we need is the location! To immerse ourselves in his culture!

Radical: But ah-HA! I got that part all figured out!

Narly: No way!

Radical: Way! The magic of Google!

<marquee>This roleplay is brought to you by the power of google -- well not really but it was a good spot for the random plug about absolutely nothing.</marquee>

Later that evening...

The music of the gothic nightclub Axxis could be heard, even from behind closed doors on the outside of the darkened building, illuminated by the few red neon lights hanging overhead. To anyone else, it would appear to be perhaps a warehouse or abandoned factor, but to the gothic night scene in Las Vegas, it was one of the hottest trends of their lifestyle -- evident by the line that stretched from the entrance clear down the block.

As the camera passed down along the line, two figures stood apart from the others, and drew the random stare of curiosity. Why? It couldn't be what their hair. Both were the traditional black, and one had his standing straight up in spikes while the other let his hang straight down over his eyes. Could it be their clothes?

One was wearing a black fishnet short-sleeve shirt, a choker collar with studs and matching arm bands on his biceps and wrists. The other wore a man's gothic corset made of black leather and stitched in with silver studs, a collar like his partners and torn, black nylon sleeves. So what could it...? Oh, wait.

The camera peered 'down' and both of those men were wearing colorful Bermuda shorts and sandals.

Guess you can't take the Surfer Boy out of the amateur Goth.

18
Climax Control Archives / Former champions -- TOTALLY!
« on: March 23, 2012, 09:21:55 PM »
 Hi - Hi! We're your Weather Girls - Ah-huh -
And have we got news for you - You better listen!
Get ready, all you lonely girls
and leave those umbrellas at home. - Alright! -

Humidity is rising - Barometer's getting low
According to our sources, the street's the place to go
Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining men.

The pulsating beat of the music covered the entirety of the club and the dance floor was filled with bodies jumping and grinding and in general, dancing to the tune the DJ was playing over the state of the art sound system.

The club itself was large, at two levels with a bar on both levels, one right upstairs and along the path, allowing the patrons to drink and socialize in a variety of settings; whether it be sitting at the bar itself, against the mirrored walls that were reflecting the dazzling light display being demonstrated, or in the various lounges and booths stationed on both floors.

The club was standing room only as young and old, so long as they were of drinking age, were packed in the fun filled frenzy of flesh, tighter than a can of sardines.

It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean

A familiar face was seen at the bar, waiting for his drink order, and strangely enough in such a setting, it's one-half of the loveable Surf Boys tag team combination in Narly. The bartender, handsome and shirtless, turns around and hands two freshly made drinks over to the scatter brained superstar of wrestling and dropping a tip in the jar, Narly turns around and maneuvers his way through the crowd of bodies.

Narly: Woop! Hey now! Watch it! Whoa! Who's hand was that?

He marched through the horde of dancing and swaying bodies and limbs until he came to a table where his most righteous of bros, of course we're speaking of Radical, was sitting with two other young men. each of the new faces were young and handsome, their hair immaculately trimmed and clad in "casual dress" attire of dress shirts and matching slacks.

Narly: Whoa! Cool! Company! Mingling at its very best!

Narly slid one of the two drinks over to Radical and he plopped himself down into the booth and had a seat next to his friend and partner.

Radical: Yeah bro! I want you to meet our awesome new bromance partners! This is Lance, and this is Rod.

Narly: Rock on!

Narly beamed enthusiastically as he reached forward first to the blond of the young pair, Lance, and then the brunette, Rod.

Rod: Pleasure.

Lance: You have no idea how glad we were to spot you guys, here of all places.

Rod: Yeah I always told Lance here I had a feeling about you two, and I was right. Wasn't I?

Radical: Whoa. You like, know us too? We've been meeting so many new friends tonight! Cha!

Narly: Totally! And Rod and Lance here said they were totally going to the show this Sunday!

Radical: No way!

Narly: Way!

Radical: Yah, dude! They even saw our totally historic match last week! Our first time holding gold, don't you know?

Narly: Yah! For all of five minutes!

Radical: That still counts!

Narly: Yah! You might say, if it wasn't for us, there wouldn't even be new champions!

Lance and Rod exchanged bemused glances between themselves. If they were fans of the Surf Boys, then the offbeat antics would obviously be familiar. Lance picked up his own drink.

Lance: Yeah. Beating the champions and eliminating them, I'd say that means you were the champions.

Narly: Yeah, and instead of doing the totally right thing and giving us a rematch right away with the Casey Twins, now we hafta fight a team to try and work our way back up to the far away peak of the mountain known as the heavenly hooters of the tag team division!

Radical leaned in and whispered.

Radical: Heavenly hooters?

Narly: It sounded sweet, didn't it?

Radical: Totally!

The Surf Boys clinked their glasses and drink deep while Lance and Rod watch on, drinking it all in. Rod leans in.

Rod: So Radical here didn't tell us who you guys are going to beat this weekend to get that title match.

Radical looked sheepish and shrugged as Narly looked him over.

Radical: I forgot. I totally had other things on my mind.

Narly held his hand up and smiled.

Narly: No problem, my dude of dudes! I can completely and totally understand!

Narly turned to Rod and Lance.

Narly: We're wrestling a family of kitty cats.

Lance and Rod frowned. Radical arched an eyebrow and looked weirded out.

Radical: We are? Dude! Our furry little friend Angel is going to SO object! You know he's a cat person, er, bear!

Lance: Cats....?

Narly: Yah! I saw the contract myself! Me and my bro bud here against the Aristocats! You know? Like from the Disney movie?

Rod: Are you sure you don't mean the Aristocrats?

Narly looked at Radical and bottom lips out, they nodded in agreement.

Radical: Well that makes more sense.

Narly: Totally!

Lance: Aristocrats versus you guys, huh? You two have this one won.

Rod: Definitely. And it makes sense they booked you two against each other.

Radical: You think so?

Lance: Well, yeah. If you beating Sean and Wyatt made you the champions, then the Aristocrats beating you made them the champions afterwards. So since they lost in the same match, stands to reason...

Radical and Narly look at each other and shout in unison.

"BATTLE OF THE FORMER CHAMPIONS!"

Rod: And so what if they were the ones who got off a lucky shot against you two in the same match? It was a fluke.

Narly looked at Radical.

Narly: I like these two. They think these things through.

Narly tapped a finger to his temple and Radical nodded enthusiastically.

Young man, there's no need to feel down
I said young man, pick yourself off the ground
I said young man, 'cause your in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy

Young man, there's a place you can go
I said young man, when you're short on your dough
You can stay there and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time

Lance and Rod hurriedly jumped up and grabbed Narly and radical's arms.

Lance: Well come on you two! You can't sit for this one!

Narly looked at Radical and they smiled together.

Radical: Why not!

The flighty pair chugged their drinks down and slapped the glasses to the table and followed their new friends off onto the dance floor to join in with everyone else.

Across the club, standing together at the railing on the second floor, stood SCW co-owner Christian Underwood and his husband, Scott Schreiner. Christian looked to Scott...

Christian: What the hell are those two doing in a club like this?

Scott: Hell if I know. You'd think the name "The Man Hole" would be a clue.

Christian shrugged and went back to 'people watching' alongside Scott, and watching as Radical and Narly did the moves just like everyone else....

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
They have everything for young men to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
You can get yourself clean you can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel

Later at the Motel 6....

The hotel room door opened and Radical stepped in first with Narly right behind him. They shut the door and locked it.

Radical: Shame Lance and Rod had to leave like that. Nice they met those other two dudes to hang out with too, but where were all the babes?

Narly: Come on man! Think! You know bodacious babes always go to the bathroom in packs! They were probably stuck in there all night! The female of the species can be very thorough!

Radical: There had to be babes somewhere. I got my butt felt up a lot!

Narly: You too?

19
Climax Control Archives / Tattoo's and cheesey jokes
« on: March 12, 2012, 08:53:55 AM »
  "You can't be serious dude?"

Narly is heard saying. The camera spins around to The Surf Boys, Narly and Radical, strolling along the beach front

Narly: I mean serious dude of dudes, a tattoo is totally for life, like a puppy.

Radical: I know, puppies are for life, not just for christmas.

Narly: No dude, I was talking about the puppies the lady folk hide under their sweaters.

Radical: Sha brah, so was I!

Narly: You was?

Radical: I was.

Narly looks at him confused but shrugs his shoulders at Radical/

Narly: Anyway dude of dudes, we have an awesome oppotunity on Climax Control.

Radical: Do we get to work with that Angel bear? Cause that little dude rawks as much as milfalicious in a tiny weenie bikini, ya hear me brah?

Narly: Sha, the bear rocks that way so much. Ya know dude, I don't get it. Everyone says that bear is stuffed, but I never see him eat, so how can he be stuffed?

Radical: I don't know, I think SCW should back a totally new charity.

Narly: What charity?

Radical: Feed The Bears!

Narly: No way!

Radical: Way!

Narly: Nu uh, I've seen the signs in the zoo, they always say do not feed the bears.

Radical: Ah, brutal,

Narly: Besides, bears are smart. Look at that Yogi dude, he always knows how to get those pick-er-nic baskets.

Radical: Ok, bears can feed themselves.

Narly: Ya! So what was we talking about?

Radical: Mifalicious in a bikini!

Narly: Sha but before that?

Radical: Awesomeness oppotunity on Climax Control.

Narly: I was?

Narly scratches his head zz

Narly: Oh sha! Dude, we got a tag title shot.

Radical: For reals dude? Last time we had a title shot we....

Narly: Dude, we never had a title shot!

Radical: This is huger then something that get huger when I think about milfalicious covered in baby oil!

Narly's face chances, wrinkled up as he looks slightly uneasy.

Narly: Too much info dude.

Radical: But I didn't even tell you about the song playing in the background. Let's get it onnnnnnn, AWWWWWWW baby!

People around Narly and Radical stop to star at Narly's high pitched scream. Narly raises a hand to them in a not to worry gesture

Narly: Don't worry people, his thong just rode up too high.

Narly bops his head smiling, thinking he's just pulled off a joke on his partner. Radical leans in closer.

Radical: Uh, dude?

Narly: Sha dude?

Radical: How did you know I was wearing a thong?

Narly face changes to completely disgust

Narly: Dude, just wrong!

Narly takes a phone out of his pocket and starts tapping away.

Radical: Whatcha doing?

Narly: Tweeting

Radical: Ah dude!

Radical pulls out his phone too and starts to tap away.

Radical: There you go, my reason for the thong.

Narly and Radical look at the camera with a serious look on their face.

Narly: If you'd like to see what these tweet are, follow us.

Radical: www.twitter.com/thesurfboys now back to the strangeness.

Narly and Radical bop their heads and look at each other.

Radical: Strangeness is a word, right dude?

Narly: Sha dude. We should focus some on our opponents though for Climax Control if we want gold.

Radical: Who are we facing?

Narly: Aristocrats.

Radical: Dude, we beat those fancy dudes.

Narly: They're cowboys.

Radical: They are? But they're called The Aristocrats.

Narly: Wooooooooooah?

Radical looks confused

Narly: De ja Vous moment.

Radical: Sha, it's like that's been said before.

Narly: Uh uh.

Radical: Who else, who else?

Narly: Relax dude, you're like a kid at Christmas.

Radical: Wow! Is Santa gonna be one of our opponents?

Narly: I don't think so, he's busy making toys with his midgets for next Christmas.

Radical: Bummer.

Narly: Obviously we're facing the champs, or we couldn't win the titles.

Radical: Well obviously

Narly: So that's Wyatt Peterson and Nightmare Sean Williams in the match.

Radical: I like Wyatt, he's totally like one of the funniest guys in SCW, plus he has the coolest cowboy hat I've ever seen!

Narly: Yeah he does!

The two attempt a high five but miss and manage to hit each other in the head.

Narly: We have so gotta practice those.

Radical nods in agreement.

Radical: You know, with all these cowboys in the match, it's becoming a bit of a western. Like the dude who says "Do you feel lucky, punk?"

Narly: Was he in a western?

Radical: I dunno, I never saw the movie, because I heard it never had any bees in.

Narly: Bees?

Radical: Yeah, my favorite kind of bees.

Narly: You have favorite kind of bees?

Radical: Sha! Boo-bees!

Both Surf Boys start to laugh.

Narly: Dude, you totally set me up for that one.

Radical: Sha I did!

Narly bops his head up and down.

Radical: So we have to beat just those guys.

Narly: Well...

Radical: Very well, thanks for asking dude.

Narly: No, I mean well there is another team in that match.

Radical: Who?

Narly: Casey Williams and Jordan Williams.

Radical: Are they twins?

Narly: I don't think so, but they are both bald.

Radical: So they are twins.

Narly: They could be because hair loss runs through families.

Radical: Well, at least Wyatt and Casey rawk!

Narly: I should totally tweet that.

Radical: Sha! Do it dude!

Narly pulls the phone out of his pocket and quickly taps away at it.

Narly: Done and done!

Radical: Awesomeness dudey!

Narly: We are so gonna win these tag titles.

Radical: Sha. No one's gonna stop us.

Both men stop outside a building and look up to a sign that says "Beach Front Tattoos". Radical and Narly enter the building and stand in front of a counter with a large tattooed, man standing behind it. He looks down at The Surf Boys.

Man: Can I help you?

Radical: Sure dude, I was this tattooed.

Radical turns away from the man and pulls down his shorts, revealing Misty's autograph on his butt cheek. The man turns his head slightly, unimpressed at Radical's ass.

Radical: See, what happened was we was at this party, and it was like totally rocking, and then Misty signed my ass, cause I'm totally like her biggest fan. I like think of her, then blood rushes somewhere, then a little while later, I'm smiling and my wrist aches, so I totally want this to stay on my ass, so I need it tattooed.

Man: Sounds like one hell of a party.

Radical: Sha. Then some kid pulled our pants down, and everyone totally laughed, and I then spent the rest of the night looking at my ass in the mirror.

The man raises his eyebrow.

Radical: So now I want it on my ass perminantely so I can totally shower without fear of losing my ass art work.

The man nods,

Man: Step through to the back.

Radical nods while Narly takes a seat, picking up a magazine. The slow humming of an electric needle is heard in the background and screams come from the room behind the counter.

Narly: I guess Radical just remembered his fear of needles.

A short while later, a smiling Radical steps back in to the store front. Narly looks up from a magazine, to see a pale looking Radical

Radical: Totally worth it.

Radical turns around, his shorts half way down his legs, showing off his new tattoo, Misty's autograph forever imprinted on his body.

Radical: Now I can say no matter what, Misty will always be close to my ass.

Narly bops his head.

Narly: You should so take a picture of it and send it to her. Or show it to her on Climax Control.

Radical: That would be an awesome wedding gift!

Narly: Yeah it would!

The Surf Boys grin and bop their head and leave the shop as the camera fades out

20
Climax Control Archives / Information please
« on: January 26, 2012, 09:28:33 AM »
 "I mean, bro! Duuude! Did you see the whiny guy going on about taking a step back?"

Narly's voice comes from behind the bathroom door of his and Radical's hotel room door at the In `N Out Motel in Nevada.

"Cha! Totally man! The guy is like, completely delusional. Since when is wrestling a former champion taking a step back?"

Radical walked over to the bed he had slept in this very morning. The sheets were crumpled and he scooped up a crumpled shirt, neon green in color, and looked it over. He gave it a whiff and made a sour face. He looked around until his eyes fell on the prized target.

Radical: Ah ha!

Febreeze! The answer to any and all bachelor men's woes. He grabbed the bottle and proceeded to give the shirt a refreshing once-over. He called back out.

Radical: I know what you mean bro! I think it'd be rockin' to wrestle a champion, whether he had a championship or not.

From behind the closed door, Narly's voice answered;

Narly: Dude, if a champion didn't have a championship, then he'd be a former champion. Unless he didn't win one yet and then he'd be a prenuptial champion.

Radical looked up and frowned. He glanced 'upwards' as if he were processing this bit of info and then smiled and nodded.

Radical: `Cha! That makes more sense.

Narly: Totally! Universal champion...

Radical: Former...

Narly: Right! If that were me and I was wrestling the former Universal champion, I'd be so totally grateful!

Radical: Me too, man! me too! Instead of acting like a howler monkey that drank too much pepsto bismol!

Narly: Pepto Bismol?

Radical: For diarrhea of the mouth.

Narly: Ewwww!

Radical gave the Febreeze bottle a toss onto the crumbled bedsheets and smelled the shirt again.

Radical: That's the ticket! I'll smell like a summer breeze.

The bathroom door swung open and Narly walked out in quite the outfit: a white shirt with a Hawaiin floral print all over ... powder blue shorts ... a baseball cap on backwards ... a digital camera around his neck, sandals on his feet and shades over his eyes. Radical gave him the once over...

Radical: Duuuuude! Total fashion icon!

Narly smiled and held his arms outward.

Narly: Well I try! I didn't want to look like a tourist.

Radical gave his partner a thumbs up.

Radical: You got this! Now let's go get in some sight seeing. Then we gotta hurry back so we can get changed and hit the waves like the pro bono pros we are!

Narly: Ahhh! Hitting the waves. Is there any sweeter way to train for an upcoming match?

Radical: Totally! The Aristocrats won't know what hit `em.

Narly looked puzzled as he walked over to the mini fridge and popped it open and took out a bottle of OJ and gave one a toss to his partner and kept another for himself.

Narly: Say, about them. I'm confused.

Radical: About...?

Narly: Aren't aristocrats like, royalty, or something?

Radical opened his OJ bottle and had a drink before answering.

Radical: Right on.

Narly: Then how can they be royalty? They're like, from the South ... I think. And if they are royalty, can we get in international troubles for beating them in the ring?

Radical blinked and turned his head slowly to meet the eyes of his partner.

Radical: Duuuuude! It is like SO good you thought of that!

Narly: Yah! We better call someone in the know so we don't get jailed. But who do we call?

Radical: Dude! Information, of course!

Narly: Right!

Narly walked over to the phone and picked up the receiver, shaking his head.

Narly: I always said you were the brains between us. I just got the looks.

Radical looks down at the watch on his wrist.

Radical: Ooh! That reminds me. It's time to go pay the desk clerk again.

Narly looked up.

Narly: Wow, that hour went by fast! This place is expensive.

Radical: Right? Who ever heard of a hotel you had to pay every hour?

Radical sccooped up his wallet and headed for the door. Narly watched him go and after the door shut behind him, he started to dial 4-1-1.

Narly: Must be all the rockin' babes that hang out in the lobby.

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