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81
Climax Control Archives / QUEEN ON THIS BITCH
« on: June 03, 2021, 08:56:21 AM »
QUEEN ON THIS BITCH!

Narrator:  I had a talk with Bea before I came on the air to give opening comments to lead into her comments concerning her match at Climax Control 301. Oh. . .my. . .gawd. . .Bea is to fired up that Satan came up from Hell, checked the temperature around Bea, and declared that the heat she is putting off makes Hell look like it is frozen over. With that I turn you over to Bea Barnhart.

The scene switches and we see Bea Barnhart in their hotel room which is located close to Earl Wilson Stadium. Bea is casually dressed in blue jeans and a black and white pullover shirt. She walks over to be in front of the camera then she sits down on a chair to present her comments.

NOT CONFIDENT OF HER ABILITIES ALICIA SENDS UNDERSTUDIES TO FACE OFF AGAINST US

Bea:  Well. . .well. . .well…what do we have here? We have Alicia Lucas, the Queen For The Day, deciding to take on the current Bombshell Champion, which she will lose against Amber Ryan, but she decided to send two losers against myself and Bill for the Mixed Tag Team Championship. You’re probably asking yourself why I call the team of Austin James Mercer and Tempest LOSERS when at least Austin has held the World Championship and Internet Championship and that is a good question. Although Mercer has managed to win a Championship here and there the fact remains that he’s a loser as he has proven numerous times. Winning a Championship and managing to hold onto it for an extended period of time are different things. As for Tempest she was simply tossed into this match by Alicia Lucas because Alicia is tied up with her demand as Queen For The Day to face Amber Ryan and lose. But enough about dissing Alicia since our match is not against her but against Austin James Mercer and Tempest.

SURPRISE

Bea’s husband, Bill, walks into the room followed by their English Bulldog Iris. Bill is holding in his hands a Red Velvet Cake, which is Bea’s favorite, and she is surprised as she didn’t know Bill got into the kitchen and prepared the cake for her without her seeing him doing it.

Bea:  Wow Bill! What a great surprise! Thank you! But I also have a surprise for you as I also managed to sneak into the kitchen and I prepared a Key Lime Pie for you.

Bea runs into the kitchen and comes out with the Key Lime Pie for Bill. Bill and Bea hand their cake and pie to the other with Iris drooling hoping she’ll get some of both.

Bill:  You continue with your presentation for our match. I’ll go into the kitchen with Iris and the two of us will devour this wonderful Key Lime Pie you made for us.

Bea returns to her chair and she places the Red Velvet Cake on the small table next to her.

YOU TWO GOT SOMETHING YOU DIDN’T DESERVE

Bea:  I won’t bore you by eating the Red Velvet Cake that Bill made while on camera while I’m presenting comments for our upcoming defense of the Mixed Tag Team Championship. For now I’ll continue to inform and instruct Tempest and Austin on just how unlucky they were that Alicia Lucas totally screwed you two by giving you a shot at OUR Mixed Tag Team Championship. You would never have received a shot at us if it wasn’t for Alicia abusing her privilege serving as Queen For The Day. But that’s okay. Really it is. We win. . .you two lose…can’t get any simpler to understand than that. Then again I cannot expect you two to understand common sense and truth.

When Bea breaks in her talking and she can hear Bill and Iris in the kitchen devouring the Key Lime Pie she made for them. Bea cannot help but have a huge smile come on her face knowing Bill and Iris enjoy her dessert.

Bea:  There is something I find interesting. I have yet to face off against Alicia Lucas in the ring but apparently she didn’t feel like challenging for the Mixed Tag Team Championship against an unknown opponent in me. Yeah, I know, the common excuse will be that she wants another chance at the Bombshell Championship, but if you really thought your stuff was great why didn’t you team with Austin and take me and Bill on? If you ask me that screams volumes about you and how not-so-well you truly believe in yourself. As for you, Tempest, I also have no history in the ring against you. After our match at Climax Control 301 I will have the history of being 1-0 over you.

Bea is amused when Bill and Iris walk out of the kitchen and head for the bedroom.

Bea:  Are you two headed to take a nap after devouring the entire Key Lime Pie?

Bill:  Yep! Sorry to say that I only got one-fourth of the pie since Iris is a pig and ate three-fourths of it before I could reach over and snag what was left. Continue with your comments. I hope our snoring won’t disturb you.

Bill and Iris walk into the bedroom and Bill closes the door to ensure when he and Iris fall asleep their snoring will not bother Bea.

Bea:  * glancing over at the table next to her at the Red Velvet Cake *  I understand why Bill and Iris downed the entire Key Lime Pie I made for them. This Red Velvet Cake Bill made is calling my name and begging me to eat it so when I’m done with my presentation you can be sure I’ll dive into the cake. Before I continue on comments concerning our upcoming match, and our two pathetic, and undeserving of a shot at a Championship, opponents Austin and Tempest, I’d like to get a few other things presented.

Bea hears snoring from the bedroom where Bill and Iris went to take a nap. Even with the door closed the snoring is loud.

COMMENTS ABOUT BILL THAT I DETEST

Bea:  I wish to talk about something that has been bothering me for a long time. That item is that many of the wrestlers on the Roster call Bill old and washed up and others call him a racist because he doesn’t believe in some things that others believe in. So let me start with the old and washed up comments concerning Bill. Since most of you are idiots and don’t do your research Bill is only thirty seven years of age, which is not old in the wrestling profession, and he’s been wrestling since he was eighteen. He is also six feet four inches and 240 pounds and you want to also call him overweight? While you don’t want to support Bill because you think he is too old to continue wrestling you go out to wrestling events, put on by other wrestling federations, where the average age of their wrestlers is pushing fifty years of age. You also support and root for obese wrestlers who make Bill look skinny but you want to condemn Bill for his weight. Stop being hypocrites. Either be consistent and tell the truth or get the hell out of our faces!

Bea rolls her eyes at the stupidity most people display.

Bea:  Now let me turn my attention to the dumb ass comments people make that Bill is racist just because he doesn’t believe all the things everyone else believes. First let me state if Bill was a racist he wouldn’t be married to me, an Asian from the Philippines, right? So your first item is debunked. Second Bill has in his family people who are White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, or a combination of two or more of those mentioned and Bill treats all his family members with equal respect and dignity so your second item is debunked. Third you need to know that there is there is only one person on the planet Bill detests and discriminates against and that is his half-brother Chris Shipman. That’s because it was Chris Shipman who killed their sister. After Chris got convicted of her death he has been trying to kill Bill. After nearly ten years Bill is still alive and well and Chris Shipman hasn’t been heard from again. Please take your ignorant comments, your biased opinions, and your hatred for Bill, to the city dump because the only place your comments belong is in the trash heaps in the dump.

With those comments out of the way Bea returns to comments related to their upcoming match at Climax Control 301.

BOTTOM LINE IS WE WIN AND YOU TWO LOSE

Bea:  When it comes to wrestling both myself and Bill always give 100 percent in every match. We never hold back and we never give less than 100 percent. Maybe we haven’t won as many matches, and Championships, as some of you have but when we were assigned to matches, we gave the fans a great show and often more of a performance than they expected and most assuredly a better performance than most of the rest of you on the Roster provide. With this first defense of our Mixed Tag Team Championship we will, again, go all out, give 100 percent, and leave the match as the winners and with the Mixed Tag Team Championship in our possession. Try to debunk that all you want but the fact remains that we are the Mixed Tag Team Champions, you two are not, and you’ll not be Mixed Tag Team Champions after we defeat you. Have a nice time leading up to our match because there will be no more nice times for you two after we destroy your wrestling careers.

Bea gives the CUT sign to the camera person and they call into the Network to inform them they are cutting their camera feed. When they cut their camera feed the Network is quick to return to regularly scheduled programming.


82
Climax Control Archives / ANYTHING GOES
« on: May 06, 2021, 09:53:44 AM »
ANYTHING GOES. . .AND EVERYTHING WILL. . .

Narrator:  Oh. . .my. . .gawd!!! Several events ago there was an incident  backstage which caused Samantha Marlowe to lose her grip on her coffee cup and it tipped backward and splashed in her fact. Since Bea Barnhart was upset over her loss in her match she didn’t want to interact with anyone so when Sam approached her she automatically tried to brush past her. In the process of trying to brush by her she bumped into Sam and caused Marlowe to lose her grip on her coffee and, well, we all know what happened after that. After several weeks of Sam Marlowe falsely accusing Bea Barnhart of deliberately throwing coffee in her face the two are set to face off in an ANYTHING GOES match at Climax Control 300. I feel sorry for Sam, as she’s gonna get beat down and her ass kicked extremely hard, but she caused this match to happen by lying about Bea.

SHOPPING FOR ITEMS FOR AN ANYTHING GOES MATCH

The camera person catches up with Bea Barnhart who is out shopping in Las Vegas. As she walks down the street she comes across two stores that are side-by-side with one being a curio shop and the other being a hardware store. The camera person follows Bea into the curio shop. Bea roams around the curio shop picking up several unique items to check them over. While Bea checks items out she makes sure the camera person cannot get a shot of the items she is looking at.

Bea:  Oh for sure I have to have this item for my ANYTHING GOES match with Sam! Perfect!!!

Bea places the item into her basket making sure she prevents the camera person from getting a shot of what she placed into her basket. Bea looks over the shelving and she finds an item that catches her eye. She picks it up and looks it over. We cannot tell what it is but it appears to be about the size of an orange.

Bea:  Aha! Another perfect item for my ANYTHING GOES match! This will cause a lot of damage when used. Love it!!!

Bea continues looking for a third item but of the items she is looking over she is not yet finding what she would like to have for her ANYTHING GOES match. After looking over numerous items she finally finds something that catches her attention. We cannot see the item in the camera view and since Bea is holding it close to her body we are uninformed what it could be. Bea places the item into her basket then she proceeds to the checkout counter. She glances over to the camera person who is desperately trying to focus their camera to see what Bea has in her basket.

Bea:  Nice try to see what I have in my basket but NOBODY is going to know what I have that I’ll use in my match with Sam Marlowe except for me and Bill. I will give you a hint since this is a curio shop. The official definition, provided by the Mirriam-Webster Dictionary, of the word CURIO is that it is something considered novel, rare, or bizarre. Oh, Sam, you have no idea what you got yourself into when you lied to everyone about what happened with the coffee backstage. You have no idea that lying about me to try to boost your image would get you into something you’ll not be able to get yourself out of. The items I have in my basket are novel, rare, and bizarre and I’ll bring them the ring to abuse you with them. Oh? What’s that? You claim I can’t bring items to our match? Seriously? Gee, Sam, maybe you don’t understand the match rules we have which is ANYTHING GOES. Anything goes doesn’t mean that only one or two things are allowed. Anything goes means EVERYTHING is legal in our match. When will you find out what I purchased at this curio shop to use on you in our match? When the bell rings to officially start out match that’s when. Remember, Sam, that I didn’t cause this match to happen. .you did with your lies and false accusations concerning the backstage incident involving the coffee. I told the truth about the coffee incident backstage and you lied about the incident. Liars are worthless and I’ll make you feel so worthless after I destroy you that you’ll be so damn humiliated that you’ll wear a brown paper bag over your head in public so people will not know who you are and tease you about your loss to me!

Bea pays for her curio shop purchases making sure the owner of the shop doesn’t reveal the items she purchased to the camera person. Bea walks out of the curio shop with the viewers disappointed they couldn’t catch a glimpse of the items. Bea goes to the hardware store next door and walks in and starts browsing. As she did at the curio shop Bea ensures the items she is reviewing, and those she places into her basket to purchase, are not seen by the camera. Bea is looking for very special items to use in her match against Sam Marlowe. Bea comments as she picks up items and inspects them and if satisfied they are worthy for use in an ANYTHING GOES match she places it into her basket and if not she returns them to the shelf. Bea takes an item off the shelf and she examines it.

Bea:  Oooo! I like this item! Small but sharp! CUTTING edge!

Bea places the item into her basket making sure the camera cannot get a shot of it then she continues browsing. Bea quickly finds another item which she picks up and examines.

Bea:  Wow! This is another fantastic item for use in my match with Sam! When Sam sees me pull this item out she’ll shit in her wrestling outfit! Oh, my, wouldn’t that be humiliating for her? Damn right it will!

Bea places the second item into her basket again ensuring the camera cannot catch a shot of the item. She browses around to find one more item.

Bea:  I need one more special item to bring to my ANYTHING GOES match with Sam Marlowe. There has to be something in the hardware store that would be shocking and amusing at the same time.

Bea spots something but she’s not sure what it is until she walks up to the shelf, picks up the item, and looks it over. When she realizes what the item is she looks into the camera.

Bea:  This is the perfect item to bring into an ANYTHING GOES match! It is small. It is compact. It is unique. It is shocking. And for damn sure it will be amusing when I use it on Sam!

Bea places the final item into her basket, again ensuring the item cannot be seen by the camera, then she goes to the checkout counter where she pays for her items and walks out of the store with her purchases from the hardware store and curio shop. The smile on Bea’s face is priceless. Bea hails a taxi to return to her hotel room.

DISCUSSING THINGS

Bea has returned to the hotel room she and Bill are staying at which is near the Gold Coast Casino. The camera person is set up and we listen to their conversation.

Bea:  Bill how can you not be upset that you lost your Roulette Championship match against Alex Jones at Climax Control 299? You clearly beat him down more than he did to you.

Bill:  The rules of that Roulette Championship match was the match takes place in a boiler room and the first wrestler to exit the boiler room is declared the winner. When I speared Alex and drove him backward we both slammed into the door of the boiler room. The door flew open and we both tumbled out of the boiler room. Referee Drew Patton made the correct call on the match. Although I clearly beat down Alex more than he did to me his back hit the door and he fell backward to the floor. When both of us flew through the opening he was the first wrestler to exit the boiler room. I can’t be upset at the Referee for rightly officiating the match and I can’t fault Alex Jones as he gave me a great match. The only thing I have to say is that he is at a disadvantage against Caleb Storms and Miles Kasey at Into The Void X. Both of them are rested and healed and Alex Jones is going into that match defending the Roulette Championship as a broken man. I place my bet on Caleb Storms to win the Roulette Championship.

Bea:  A bold prediction Bill.

Bill:  I’m a bold person Bea. I’ve had enough to say and I don’t want to take up more of your air time since this air time is your time to talk about your match with Sam Marlowe.

Bill exits the room and Bea continues to address her upcoming match.

Bea:  Did you pay attention to what Bill said? He congratulated Alex Jones on the win and he thanked the Referee for calling the match properly. Although me and Bill haven’t yet won Championships, and we haven’t won as many matches as we hoped we would, we’re happy, contented, and we continue to give one hundred percent in every match. Compare that to most of the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling, including Sam Marlowe, who win more matches than the two of us do, and some have won Championships, yet they still whine, bitch, moan, complain, and throw tantrums when they don’t get their way. Listen up so you might have a slight chance of understanding. We’re employed by Sin City Wrestling to wrestle in the matches assigned to us. We’re not here to complain how Management runs our wrestling Federation. We’re not here to complain about what matches we’re assigned to. They pay us to perform to the best of our abilities in the wrestling matches they assign us to and that’s what me and Bill do. I’m not like other wrestlers, including Sam, who complain about every damn thing. Just because Sam is a klutz and lost her grip on her coffee and she sloshed it into her own face she has no right to try to accuse me of deliberately throwing coffee in her face. False accusations by opponents causes my opponents to get a truly severe beat down. If you’ll please excuse me I need to get to a MEET AND GREET event with my fans.

The camera person places their camera into a fade out and when the scene totally fades out the Network cuts to a commercial break.

After the commercial break the scene opens with Bea at her MEET AND GREET with her fans.

MEET AND GREET

A shot of Bea Barnhart at her MEET AND GREET event comes on our screen. We see dozens of fans waiting to greet Bea, obtain her autograph, shake her hand, and ask questions. Bea is smiling large as she greets her adoring fans.

Fan One:  I would like to ask why you chose the song HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT by Pat Benatar as your entrance and theme music.

Bea:  Bill used this music while serving in another wrestling federation and I also like the song. He told me he would love to have a match with the rules that each wrestler can hit the other wrestler with any wrestling move or hold and they have to take the shot. Then the wrestler who got the first shot has to stand there and take the shot from the other wrestler. They would go back and forth until one of them could no longer continue in the match. Bill said the match would be called HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT and it would go as I just mentioned. If any wrestler delivered a shot then another and another without allowing the back and forth according to the match rules they would be disqualified for violating the rules of the match. Bill stated if they would give him a match like that he would easily win as his shots are better than his opponents and he can take the hits and rebound better than other wrestles. I feel the same way as Bill does. I feel if I could be assigned to a HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT match I would easily win as it is damn hard to put me out of action as Sam Marlowe will find out in our upcoming ANYTHING GOES MATCH. Sorry for the long response but I wanted to clearly answer your question.

Fan One:  Thanks for the response. May I also have you autograph this photo please?

Bea:  Of course!

Bea signs the photo and hands it back to the fan who is extremely thankful for the opportunity to meet Bea Barnhart, ask her a question, and have her autograph a photo.

Fan Two:  You claimed numerous times that you did not deliberately toss Sam Marlowe’s coffee into her face. You stated you were upset at losing your multi-wrestler match by being the wrestler who was pinned and you simply didn’t want to talk with anyone as you headed back to your dressing room. Can you  honestly state that you did not know that the person who approached you and tried to talk with you was Sam Marlowe? And can you honestly state that you didn’t know she was carrying a cup of hot coffee when you brushed her aside?

Bea:  I wish there was a Polygraph machine here they could hook me up to as I’m telling the truth and the Polygraph machine would prove that. When you review the backstage incident you notice the only person with me was my husband Bill. I tell you the truth that when he approached me after my loss in the match I didn’t even want to talk to him as I was so upset over my loss so you know damn well I didn’t want to talk with anyone else. Watch the replay of the backstage incident and you’ll notice that I wasn’t talking to Bill. He was simply walking backstage with me as we went toward to the dressing room because he knows there are a lot of wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who want to attack me backstage. It wouldn’t have mattered who walked up to me that evening as I honestly didn’t want to talk to anyone, including my husband, due to my loss. When Sam approached me I didn’t even know it was her. It could have been a violent wrestler trying to attack me or a rogue fan who snuck backstage. I simply saw movement that was not from Bill and I tried to quickly brush past the movement. I guess when I bumped into Sam her hand flipped toward her and she spilled hot coffee into her own face. I tell the truth and if you watch the replay of the backstage incident concerning her coffee you’ll see I’m telling the truth. I have time for one more question then I’ll shake hands and autograph items for you before I have to leave.

Fan Three:  Due to your upcoming match being an ANYTHING GOES match do you expect Sam Marlowe to hire friends to run in on the match to attack you? I mean anything goes means anything goes right?

Bea:  I’m not new to having jealous and incompetent opponents attack me backstage or hiring interference in a match to try to gain an advantage. If anyone shows up to my match with Sam and tries to interfere I have Bill, Senor Vinnie, and numerous other loyal friends, who will immediately step between those attackers and me. If they need to they’ll release Iris on them as Iris is very protective of me and Bill. The coffee incident was not a deliberate thing by me but Sam wanted to make it a deliberate thing. So I look at it like this. Me beating the crap out of Sam, and hurting her so she will suffer pain for weeks, isn’t something I deliberately decided to do. I wanted a standard rules match but she wanted a violent grudge match so she got her wish and now we are assigned to an ANYTHING GOES Grudge Match.

Bea motions to the camera person to get an extreme close-up of her and they do so.

Bea:  Well, Sam, as I’ve mentioned many times, my opponents should be careful what they wish for as they might just get it. You wished for this type of match and you got what you wished for. You simply failed to place into the equation that I’m going to beat you down so hard, so badly, and so violently, that you’ll prefer to run off into retirement than to face anyone again in the wrestling ring. To bring the concept of how severely I’ll beat you down let me put it in the following terms. Sam you would rather suffer through a Category 5 hurricane, with winds of up to 157 miles per hour, than to suffer the beating I’ll give you in our match. You would rather suffer through an EF5 tornado, with winds of 116 to 200 miles per hour, than to suffer the beating I’ll give you in our match. And, Sam, trust me that you would rather suffer through a magnitude 8.0 or higher earthquake than to suffer the beating I’ll give you in our match. You can contact Management and tell them you want to quit and back out of our match and walk away from this match and save yourself getting seriously hurt or you can come to the match and get seriously hurt at my hands. Your decision.

Bea thanks the camera person for the close-up and then they back off to return to a regular shot. Bea turns to her fans at the MEET AND GREET event.

Bea:  Thanks for coming to my MEET AND GREET event. Although I’m done taking and answering questions I’ll remain for a time to talk with you, sign autographs, and have photos taken with you after the camera is off.

The camera person cuts the audio of the broadcast and then they set their camera to a slow fade to black. Over a one minute time the scene slowly fades out until our computer screen goes black.


83
Climax Control Archives / ALEX JONES...AGAIN
« on: April 29, 2021, 03:08:26 PM »
ALEX JONES. . .AGAIN

Narrator:  Most of you know. . .some of you are about to know. . .and the rest of you are morons so you will never know. . .that Bill Barnhart is one of the most accomplished wrestlers in the sport of wrestling that he has been referred by the term BAD TO THE BONE for a long time. Without further delay I turn you over to Bill Barnhart for his comments on his Roulette Championship match against Alex Jones at Climax Control 299.

When the scene changes we see Bill Barnhart standing near a wrestling ring. We are not sure where the ring is located but we hope Bill will inform us where he is broadcasting from. But if he doesn’t reveal the location that’s okay. Bill has not yet been informed that they are broadcasting so without an introduction or comments Bill launches into song from a well-known musical.

Bill:

There's a bright golden haze on the meadow
There's a bright golden haze on the meadow
The corn is as high as an elephant's eye
And it looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky

Oh, what a beautiful mornin'
Oh, what a beautiful day
I've got a beautiful feeling
Everything's going my way

The camera person interrupts Barnhart’s performance to inform him that he forgot to tell Bill that they were already broadcasting. He lets them know his singing the opening of OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING from the musical OKLAHOMA was broadcast to everyone watching.

Bill:  That’s okay. I’ve nothing to hide. When you think about it getting this Roulette Championship match against Alex Jones is a fun gift given to me. When I was presented with the Climax Control 299 card and saw that I was facing Alex Jones for the Roulette Championship all I could do was bust out with the song OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING from the musical OKLAHOMA.  At that time I was thinking yes it is a beautiful morning. . .yes it is a beautiful day. . .and yes I’ve got a beautiful feeling that everything’s going my way. Being handed a special match like this just weeks before Into The Void X is not only fun for me it will prove that Alex Jones is a chump champ when I defeat him.

After Bill’s comments the cameraman gets a shot of the announcing table at ringside. We notice sitting on top of the announcing table there is a Karaoke machine. It appears we are about to be blessed with a performance by Bill. When Bill is told by the camera person they are live broadcasting Bill launches into his comments.

Bill:  Thanks for joining me today. I’m at an event location that hosts sporting events which is the reason you see a wrestling ring and announcing table. No it is not at the Saxon Hotel where Climax Control 299 will be held. I often keep these locations unknown as there are a lot of jerks, both wrestlers and fans, who act violently and attempt to attack wrestlers they don’t like. I figure since damn near everyone is upset that Bea told the truth about the backstage coffee incident with Sam Marlowe that these mentally ill wrestlers and fans might want to attack me to get on Bea’s nerves. So for now don’t concern yourself on where I’m broadcasting from. Just pay attention to my comments.

BAD TO THE BONE

Bill walks over to the announcing table and points to the Karaoke machine.

Bill:  This is a Karaoke machine. Most of you know what it is, and I don’t need to explain what it is to those of you who know what it is, but I have to be very specific for the benefit of those watching who have low IQ numbers and have a hard time comprehending simple concepts.

Barnhart bursts out in loud laughter then he regains his composure to continue his comments.

Bill:  I’m going to perform a song that all of you, except the most ignorant of you, know very well. I feel it is the perfect song for me to present just how BAD ASS I am. It is BAD TO THE BONE by George Thorogood. Ready. . .set. . .go!

Bill presses the play button and we hear a familiar song introduction and we watch as Bill launches into his presentation of the song.

On the day I was born
The nurses all gathered around
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up
And she said leave this one alone
She could tell right away
That I was bad to the bone

Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
Bad to the bone

I broke a thousand hearts
Before I met you
I'll break a thousand more, baby
Before I am through
I wanna be yours pretty baby
Yours and yours alone
I'm here to tell ya honey
That I'm bad to the bone

Bad to the bone
B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-Bad
Bad to the bone

I make a rich woman beg
I'll make a good woman steal
I'll make an old woman blush
And make a young girl squeal
I wanna be yours pretty baby
Yours and yours alone
I'm here to tell ya honey
That I'm bad to the bone

Bill is finished with his Karaoke performance of BAD TO THE BONE. He takes a bow then turns the Karaoke machine off.

Bill:  Yes, Alex, I’m BAD TO THE BONE! Yes, Alex, I’m gonna whup your ass and earn the Roulette Championship from you. Yes, Alex, I’ll defeat you so soundly that you’ll cry for days. Do you think I give a shit if you lose the Roulette Championships to me and you get knocked out of the Roulette Championship match at Into The Void X then you cry yourself to sleep for weeks over your loss? No, Alex, I don’t give a damn about you. . .I don’t care how you feel. . .I don’t care if your feelings get hurt. . .and I don’t care if you get physically hurt during our match. Why? Because I’m not here to make you feel good. I’m here to destroy you and become the next Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion. And, Alex, if you think that any of the stipulations the Roulette Wheel can land on to determine the details of our match will benefit you in the match then you’re extremely deceived.. The Roulette wheel can land on a slot with the stipulation that BILL BARNHART MUST HAVE HIS HANDS AND FEET TIED WITH ROPES AND HE HAS TO WEAR A BLINDFOLD AND A STRAIGHTJACKET in the match but even if that were a possible option on the Roulette wheel I’d still kick your ass! That, Alex, is what BAD TO THE BONE is about!

Bill roars with laughter again.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING?

Bill:  To prove I know what I’m doing, Alex, I’ve  researched and found that you are somewhat accomplished in Sin City Wrestling. I see you held the Heavyweight Championship from August 23, 2020 until September 27, 2020. Maybe you think a title reign of a few days over thirty days is great but I feel a short title reign like that is pathetic. I see you held the Mixed Tag Team Championship with your partner Johanna Krieger from February 26, 2020 until August 2, 2020 when you lost it to Sass N Bash. I will give you credit for this title reign since you managed to keep the Championship for a little over five months but I’m sure it was more due to Johanna’s performance in the ring as your Tag Team partner than it was due to your performance in the ring. Next I saw you and your tag team partner, Devona, managed to get to the finals in the Blast From The Past Tournament but someone else won the Tournament. Runner-Up doesn’t mean you won anything in the Tournament. The term Runner-Up is just a polite term for LOSER. You found out there are no trophies awarded for second place. And, now, you hold the Roulette Championship which you obtained on March 28, 2021. Sorry to be the wrestler who will defeat you and earn the Roulette Championship away from you just five weeks after you obtained it. Sorry to be the wrestler who will knock you out of the Roulette Championship match at Into The Void X. However, Alex, I’m not sorry enough to back off on you in our match at Climax Control 299 and let you win. Yes, Alex, you heard me correctly. My words are prophecy that will come true on Sunday, May 2, 2021.

Barnhart presents two thumbs up into the camera.

Bill:  Do you know what you’re doing Alex? I damn sure know what I’m doing. I know you’re going to get in front of the camera to try to convince everyone that you can defeat me. Hmmm. Shall we investigate that claim? Let me take you back to Climax Control 255 on December 1, 2019. I defeated you by applying my Barnhart Shoulder Breaker Flying Hammer Lock. You cried like a little kid that fell and skinned their knees. You begged me to release my Flying Hammer Lock on you but I refused until the Referee ordered me to release you. So, Alex, do you still believe you can defeat me? You’re 0-1 against me and you’ll go 0-2 on May 2, 2021, AND you’ll be handing the Roulette Championship to me!

Barnhart steps away from the announcing table to walk to the wrestling ring where he climbs the steps, walks along the ring apron, then ducks through the ropes into the ring where he walks over to the ropes and looks into the camera.

FREAKING OUT OVER NOTHING

Bill:  Alex I have a neighbor who, although she’s intelligent, she’s dumb. Let me tell you about an incident that happened two months ago with her. I was taking my English Bulldog Iris for a walk around our neighborhood. We crossed paths with Danielle during our walk. I needed to ask Danielle a question about the type of work she does since she works from home. I was on one side of our street and she was on the other side so it was hard to communicate when we were fifteen to twenty feet apart. I took a step toward her to be sure she could hear me and she nearly jumped out of her skin, backed up, and didn’t want to get close to me even though we were still far apart from each other and it was difficult to hear each other. Neither of us wear a mask when we take walks in our neighborhood as we’re never close to other people during these walks and a mask is supposed to protect you and others when you are close together. This reaction from Danielle surprised me because since she moved here from San Francisco six months ago she has made trips to Mexico, Ecuador, Panama, Bolivia, Peru, and Brazil. If you can make that many trips in a short period of time you can talk to me across the street for two minutes without acting like you’ll contract the Corona virus.

Bill gestures with his arms in the air like WTF then he continues.

Bill:  Although Danielle’s fear reaction was stupid and unjustified, considering her many trips I mentioned, your reaction to our match will be real fear. Alex you need to fear me. Alex you need to worry that I might end your wrestling career. I’ve defeated you in a dominating manner before and I’m going to do it again. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter who you pay to interfere in our match, I’m going to win, I’m going to earn the Roulette Championship, and you’re going to run off into retirement!

BE AWARE WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND YOU

Bill:  I’m trying to help you understand things, Alex, so that when these things happen you’ll not be able to use the excuse that you were caught off-guard or that you were uninformed. Let me relate a recent incident concerning my wife’s friend, Juliet, who is also a Filipina. Juliet is one of those people who claims to know everything but she is dumber than a rock and always gets caught short. Juliet has a daughter who is seven years old and afraid of dogs but Juliet thought it would be nice to purchase a dog for her as a pet. Instead of talking to friends who have dogs with puppies, contacting a store that sells dogs, or contacting the Humane Society to adopt, she went on Facebook to the Marketplace and looked for a dog there. She likes Iris, my English Bulldog, so she searched and found a man in Atlanta who said he has an English Bulldog puppy that he can no longer keep and he wants to re-home the dog to a loving family. He was asking $500 for the dog but he asked that Juliet transfer $200 to him to hold the dog until she can pick the dog up. After Juliet transferred the $200 to this man he told her he lied to her and he never had a dog. He just wanted to scam her. Juliet tried to make a huge deal out of it on Facebook claiming it wasn’t right for that man to scam her. Bea bitched Juliet out asking how she could be so damn stupid to try to obtain a dog that way when there are dozens of pet shops in our area, plus the Humane Society, and of course we have mutual friends who have dogs who end up having puppies. Bea told Juliet that she has no right to call out this scammer and complain out him on Facebook when she could have done a dog purchase the correct way to now allow herself to get scammed.

Bill grins a huge grin.

Bill:  So, Alex, why did I tell you Juliet’s stupid experience and her getting scammed? Because she never listens to anyone. Then when we tell her what would happen and it does happen she gets upset and blames the scammer instead of blaming herself for allowing them to scam her. How does that relate to you Alex? You also don’t listen. You have people telling you that you’ll lose the Roulette Championship to me and that I’ll go on to Into The Void X to defend the Roulette Championship against Caleb Storms and Milo Kasey but you refuse to listen. When you lose to me, like Juliet lost to the scammer, don’t whine, don’t complain, don’t demand stuff,  don’t go on Facebook and Twitter to whine about it, just accept your loss and get the hell out of my sight! When I win the Roulette Championship from you I’ll use one of my favorite four-word phrases:  I TOLD YOU SO!!!

Barnhart exits the ring then walks to the announcing table where he takes a seat. The cameraman gets set up to keep focused on Bill.

THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY

Bill:  What we have here Alex is what I call a perfect opportunity. Well a perfect opportunity for me anyway. For you it is a perfect nightmare. We’ve had one match together and I defeated you by submission. I know that decisive submission loss to me haunts you to this day. You thought you had several weeks off before Into The Void X before you would have to defend the Roulette Championship and then the next thing you know you’re facing me at Climax Control 299 with the Roulette Championship on the line. You thought you would walk into Into The Void X as Roulette Champion and maybe, just maybe, you would be able to defeat Milo Kasey and Caleb Storms but now you’re beginning to realize you’ll enter Climax Control 299 as Roulette Champion and you’ll leave Climax Control 299 as the FORMER Roulette Champion.

Bill waves his fists into the camera for the benefit of Alex Jones.

Bill:  Alex you can purchase all the good luck charms you want and you’ll still lose to me. You can find witch doctors and Voodoo people to attempt to put curses on me and you’ll still lose to me. You can hire all the interference you want but with Senor Vinnie, Bea, and my English Bulldog Iris, watching my back all your paid-for interference will get beat down and sent back to the trash dumpster. I’m not in this match to hand you a win. I’m in this match to hand you a loss and a damn hard loss at that. This is a Roulette Rules match and I’m hoping the wheel lands on the most outrageous, hard, dangerous, violent, and evil, type of match anyone can imagine. I want my win over you to be so amazing, so brilliant, so overwhelming, that the fans, reporters, and other wrestlers, will be talking about my win over you for decades. Please enjoy your free time leading up to our match on Sunday because after our match, when you are crumpled on the mat bruised, broken, and bleeding, there will be no more enjoyment in your life.

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments for this presentation and they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


84
Climax Control Archives / FACING THE STORM AGAIN
« on: April 14, 2021, 11:07:42 AM »
FACING THE STORM AGAIN

Narrator:  Last week Bea Barnhart was in a Roulette Qualifier match to try to earn a spot to challenge for the Bombshell Roulette Championship at Into The Void X and now at Climax Control 297 Bill is in a Roulette Qualifier match against Caleb Storms for a shot at the Roulette Championship at Into The Void X.  That shows the Barnhart family has made an impact in Sin City Wrestling. I will now turn you over to Bill Barnhart, located in the Broadcast Studio at the Earl Wilson Stadium in Las Vegas, Nevada, for his comments on his match.

We get a shot of Bill Barnhart sitting at a table in the broadcast studio. He is nicely dressed in a dark gray business suit wearing a white shirt and a dark gray tie that matches the color of his business suit. Bill looks more like a high-level Broadcaster than a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. When the techs in the broadcast studio inform Bill they are live broadcasting he launches into his comments.

Bill:  Let me get to the point as there’s no need in making a lot of unnecessary comments that waste air time. I’m facing Caleb Storms, in a Roulette Qualifier match to qualify for the Roulette Championship match at Into The Void X, and everyone seems to bow and worship Caleb and I have no clue why.

Bill looks into the camera with a confused look on his face.

Bill:  Why are you, the viewers, questioning my comments concerning Caleb Storms and why are you, the viewers, supporting a lame wrestler like him? Let me tell you why and I have three items to present to you to prove your support of Caleb Storms is pathetic.

Bill holds up one finger to indicate the first item he wants to present.

Bill:  Caleb everyone brags about how great you are as a Roulette Champion. How about we investigate that item? You defeated Jon Dough on May 13, 2018, to earn the Roulette Championship then lost it back to Jon Dough on May 27, 2018, which means you held the Roulette Championship two weeks! Seriously? One reign as Roulette Champion. . .a reign of only two weeks…and that was nearly three years ago? And people commend you for that pathetic performance? Good grief!

Bill holds up two fingers to indicate the second item he wants to present.

Bill:  So, Caleb, I’ve also heard people brag about your accomplishment in earning the Mixed Tag Team Championship with your tag team partner Samantha Marlowe. You defeated Kain and Mercedes Vargas on August 26, 2018, then you lost is back to Kain and Mercedes on September 16, 2018, which is about three weeks. One reign as Mixed Tag Team Champions. . .for three weeks. . .then nothing since? Damn!

Bill holds up three fingers to indicate the third item he wants to present.

Bill:  Caleb, you obtained the Internet Championship by default on December 6, 2020, then immediately lost it to Agostino Romano on January 31, 2021. I guess we can give you credit this time for holding a Championship for around seven weeks. Then you managed to regain the Internet Championship from Agostino Romano on March 7, 2021, but immediately
 lost it back to Agostino on March 28, 2021, for another pathetic three week reign as Champion. How anyone can follow you, support you, cheer you on, and commend you, on these pathetic performances as a Champion is beyond my ability to comprehend the reasons why. Why. . .why. . .why. . .why…why?

Bill holds up his hands with his thumb and index finger making a ZERO.

Bill:  Four times you held a Championship in Sin City Wrestling. Combined time as a Champion, totaling all the times you were Roulette, Mixed Tag Team, and Internet Champion, comes to a grand total of around fifteen weeks. Seriously? They need to update the Dictionary so that instead of giving a definition of the term PATHETIC they just use a photo of you as the definition!

The cameraman gets a close-up on Bill who has a huge grin on his face.

MORE THAN A ONE-TRICK PONY

Bill: I was accused by Lincoln Daniels of being a one-trick pony by his claim that I have only one good move in my arsenal. Lincoln specifically mentioned my sleeper hold as my only good move. Apparently Daniels is uninformed, or stupid, or both, because I have numerous great submission holds. My favorite submission hold is my Flying Hammerlock, followed by my Sleeper Hold, followed by my Figure-Four Leg Lock. And when you take a look at my match with Lincoln Daniels, at Blaze of Glory IX, you notice I used many punishing moves that wear him down rather than go for the submission. How did I win my match with Lincoln Daniels? With a pinfall. ONE. . .TWO. . .THREE!!! Uh huh! What is my favorite four-word phrase? I TOLD YOU SO!!!

Bill bursts into loud laughter then he regains his composure.

Bill:  HAR HAR HAR!!! Caleb you’re a joke of a wrestler in my eyes. So you’ve held four Championships in Sin City Wrestling over a three year period. Combined your four Championship reigns totals around fifteen weeks. When I worked in another wrestling federation I often held Championships for months, and several times for over one year, before someone was able to defeat me. I was a multiple Triple Crown and Grand Slam achiever. I was inducted into the Hall of Fame so many times they were thinking of renaming their Hall of Fame as the Bill Barnhart Hall of Fame.

Bill again bursts into loud laughter but this time he has amused himself so much that it takes him time to regain his composure.

Bill:  HAR HAR HAR!!! Caleb I’ve heard you brag about yourself. I’ve heard others brag about you to the point that they reference that your shit don’t stink. Trust me, Caleb, when you’re in the bathroom doing a dump it stinks so horribly that people passing by have to don gas masks to keep from passing out. Well, Caleb, speaking of passing out you know I’m a wrestler known for punishing opponents so hard that they would rather pass out than to continue to try to fight the horrific pain I put upon them. If you think I’m gonna go easy on you then you’re delusional because I plan on hurting you to the point where you’ll go unconscious rather than endure another second of pain. Although in our three matches against each other you are currently 2-1 after Climax Control 297 we will be at 2-2 against each other.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bill:  What’s the bottom line Caleb? I win. . .you lose. I win and qualify for the Roulette Championship match at Into The Void X. . .you don’t. You’ll get hurt by me. . .you’ll not be able to hurt me. Bea’s spilling coffee in the face of Samantha Marlowe was an accident but me beating you to the depths of Hell and back will be deliberate. I’ll have the fans support me as their next Roulette Champion. . .you’ll be mocked and ridiculed as the mediocre wrestler you truly are. Fun for me…humiliating for you. Deal with that Caleb

Bill informs the studio techs he’s done with his presentation and they cut their camera feed.


85
Climax Control Archives / I WILL BECOME THE CONTENDER FOR THE ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP
« on: April 07, 2021, 08:49:16 AM »
I WILL BECOME THE CONTENDER FOR THE ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP

Narrator:  I’m here to tell you Bea Barnhart is excited about this match at Climax Control 296. She is happy she got another match since she has not been assigned to matches for 2021 as often as she wanted to be. With this being a Roulette Championship Qualifier match, with the winner moving on to challenge for the Bombshell Roulette Championship at Into The Void X, Bea in overdrive. With those comments I turn you over to Bea for her comments on her upcoming match.

BREAKING OPPONENTS

The scene changes to a shot of Bea Barnhart in her hotel room located near the Cox Pavilion in Las Vegas, Nevada. Bea is casually dressed in blue jeans and a black pullover shirt.

Bea:  Thanks for joining me to listen to me explain why Krystal and Candy are doomed to lose to me at Climax Control 296. First item is that I’m not happy that since November 2020 I’ve only had three matches, one in November, one in December, and one in February. I’m so happy to have another match that I’m so fired up I have to have the Fire Department stand by to quell the flames. I know the two of them have dreams of winning this match, and qualifying for the Bombshell Roulette Championship match at Into The Void X, but I’m the dream destroyer and the dreams of Candy and Krystal will be destroyed by me this Sunday.

Bea rolls her eyes.

Bea:  Sheesh! Candy appears she’s trying to be like a Malibu Barbie and Krystal Wolfe thinks she’s all that just because she comes from Australia. I don’t give a damn who you are, what you think you are, or where you come from. The only thing I see in you two are victims of my superior wrestling and you are losers.

Bea stops talking for a moment to take a drink break.

DREAMS

Bea:  Candy, Krystal, I know you two have dreams. Unfortunately your so-called dreams are nothing more than false hopes that you can defeat a quality wrestler like me. My dreams, on the other hand, are based on tons of research that leads to valid interpretations of those dreams. Let me run down a few of my dreams that I researched for their meanings.

Bea holds up one finger to indicate the first dream and interpretation.

Bea:  I have dreams of a happily barking dog. This symbolizes pleasures and social activity and that I’m being accepted into the circle of things. This, girls, means that I’m a happy person, a successful wrestler, and after showing the rest of the Roster what I’m capable of accomplishing in the ring, everyone is now taking notice of them. Oh how much more they’ll take notice of me when I easily defeat you two this Sunday.

Bea holds up two fingers to indicate the second dream and interpretation.

Bea:  Dreaming I’m giving a dog a bath symbolizes my nurturing abilities and I pride myself on my loyalty and generosity. I do have a nurturing nature when I give Iris a bath. It is a teaching moment for Iris. I’m loyal to Iris and generous in handing out love and affection, and of course food, to her as she is never satisfied with the amount of food we give her. How does that dream and interpretation relate to you two in our match? I’m going to give you a teaching moment to show you that even if you two combined all your wrestling abilities you still don’t equal half the wrestler I am. And since I’m a very generous person I promise I’ll issue out punishment on you two in equal amounts as I have enough punishment available for both of you.

Bea holds up three fingers to indicate the third dream and interpretation.

Bea:  Sometimes I dream of ants so I looked up the interpretation of that dream. Since ants symbolize hard work, diligence, cooperation, and industry, that defines me and my wrestling perfectly. I don’t rely on taunts and threats and posing before the camera to make my point. I get into the wrestling ring against anyone Management assigns me to and I perform at my best. You two are going to find out just how hard working, diligent, and persistent I am.

Bea smiles into the camera before continuing with her comments.

NOISE DOESN’T EQUATE INTO SUCCESS

Bea: We have a neighbor across the street from our house in Lawrenceville, Georgia. When he comes home he often sits in his car in his driveway for five minutes or more continuing to listen to the blasting music in his car. I honestly don’t care what music people listen to but when you are in your car, with the doors and windows of your car closed, and your music is so damn loud that my walls and windows in my home are vibrating then it is too damn loud. These people remind me of most of the wrestlers here in Sin City Wrestling. They are so starved for attention they have to annoy people to get attention, even though it is negative attention, and that’s pathetic. Sad that most of you are happy to annoy people to get negative attention when you would be better off to present valid information to others so you could get positive attention like I get. And, girls, watch how much positive attention I get when I win our match and I move on to Into the Void X for a shot at the Bombshell Roulette Championship.

TAKE OUT THE TRASH

Bea:  Our trash collection company, which is contracted by Gwinnett County for our trash and recycles collection, is the Waste Management company. They provide us two containers, one for regular trash and one for recycle items. When they collect the regular trash the truck has an arm that comes out, grabs the trash bin, lifts it up and empties it into the back of the truck, then returns the regular trash bin to the curb. For the recycle items they provide us with a wheeled container with a blue lid. Instead of having a truck that has an arm to pick up the trash container the workers manually lift the recycle container and dump it into the back of the truck. Often they spill stuff on the street and our driveway but they fail to pick up what they dropped so Bill bitches them out. This reminds me of you two. You are professional wrestlers in a top quality Wrestling Federation. You are here to perform your jobs to the best of your ability, and for the enjoyment of the fans, but you tend to drop half your stuff on the ground, and perform like trash. I don’t drop my stuff on the ground. I carry everything I have with me and I kick the shit out of opponents and walk away the winner. You two talk a hell of a lot of shit to try to blow up your opponents but I’m here to tell you that even if I gave you each a crate of dynamite you wouldn’t be able to blow your nose.

Bea lets out a loud laugh.

Bea:  I want you two to enjoy your time leading up to our match this Sunday. Once our match begins you two will realize you’re in way over your heads and you’ll be trying to find every possible thing in the world to try to defeat me. Have fun trying because you’ll fail. I’m moving on to face the Bombshell Roulette Champion at Into the Void X and I know you two will be watching the match and watch me win the Championship. See you two on Sunday!

Bea tells the cameraman she is done with her comments and the cameraman cuts the camera feed and our screen goes dark.


86
Climax Control Archives / OH, BROTHER
« on: March 03, 2021, 04:30:20 PM »
FACING BROTHER DAVID AGAIN

Narrator:  Although the previous match where Bill Barnhart was involved in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs, Four Way match for the Roulette Championship, that included Brother David Shepherd this current match is a one-on-one Standard Rules Singles match. Place your bets on Bill Barnhart and you will walk away with more money than you started with as Bill is going to win.

Bill’s image comes on the screen where we see him, his wife-Manager Bea, and their English Bulldog Iris. We are not sure where they are broadcasting from but it is likely their hotel room near the Las Vegas Civic and Convention Center.

Bill:  Oh, brother, I get to face Brother David Shepherd again. At least this time it is a one-on-one singles match and not a four way like our last match for the Roulette Championship. Then again having to face moron opponents like David again, who have to cheat or get interference in matches to get a cheap win, is like going through having to deal with moron people while I’m walking Iris. I’ll give you two examples.

Bill looks down at Iris and she looks up lovingly at her Daddy Bill.

Bill:  Sorry, Iris, that I have to let you listen to the two incidents involving me and you having to deal with moron people. In early February I was walking Iris in our neighborhood in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

Iris perks up when she hears her name mentioned.

Bill:  I went up and down all the streets in our housing development as we usually do. When we walked on Wenham Lane I noticed children playing on the lawn at one of the homes on that street. Two of the kids lived at this house, two other kids live two houses down, and one lives across the street from where the kids were playing. When I passed by the house where the children were playing the boy who lives across the street told his mother he was going to get something at their house. As the boy took off and was about to cross the street in front of me and Iris to go to his house his mother called to him REMEMBER TO COVER YOUR MOUTH which seemed to be an odd comment when I noticed that none of the kids, including her son, covered their mouths while playing with the other children but only when me and Iris passed by. This proved to me that she wasn’t concerned about the Corona Virus and that she was talking about me and Iris being possibly contaminated with dust and fleas.  Trust me that me and Iris are not contaminated with dust and I assure you that the little boy is filthy and probably has more fleas than Iris has.

At the mention of her name and the word fleas Iris starts scratching as though she was suffering with a flea infestation and Bill rolls his eyes.

Bill:  Thanks, Iris, for launching into a major scratching thing to make people think you are infested with fleas. Since you want to play that game I can give you a bath!

Hearing that evil four-letter word BATH Iris takes off in a high speed run, high speed for an English Bulldog anyway, into the bedroom area and she hides under the bed. Bill and Bea cannot help but laugh at the behavior of Iris concerning baths as both know Iris hates taking baths.

Bill:  Several days after the incident on Wenham Lane I took Iris to the Dog Park located in Alexander Park in Lawrenceville, Georgia. As we approach the entrance gate we saw a woman with a Corgi on a leash. The Corgi was adorable so we politely approached and asked if we could say hi to her Corgi. This woman yelled at us then pulled hard on her Corgi’s leash and pulled her close to her. I told her Iris wasn’t aggressive. She said it wasn’t that she was worried about my dog being aggressive. She said she is trying to train her dog to learn to know which dogs she can associate with. When I asked her for more information she said she didn’t want her dog to play with just any dog but only the ones she felt were beneficial to her dog. Then I asked the woman if she didn’t want her dog associating with other dogs why in hell did she bring her dog to the dog park where the concept is that you allow your dog to associate and play with other dogs. She took offense to my comment but she still stood outside the dog park gate instead of entering the dog park with her dog. The hilarious thing was that me and Iris went into the dog park and when we left thirty minutes later that woman was still on the outside of the dog park trying to train her dog how to associate with only certain dogs. The stupidity of people amazes me. I think the owner of the Corgi needed training more than the Corgi did.

Bea:  I remember you telling me those incidents.

Bill:  How do the two incidents I mentioned relate to having to deal with a lame, boring, cowardly, and cheating opponent like Brother David Shepherd? Glad you asked and I have the answer for you. To start off people like David feel other wrestles are contaminated and dirty or not worthy to associate with. Also Brother David is typical of the majority of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling. They talk the talk but fail to walk the walk when it comes to obeying the rules, and not cheating by using foreign objects, and not obtaining interference from others. Yeah, David, go ahead and try to claim you never cheat or obtain interference. I dare you to try that bullshit. I’ve see you use your weapon loaded Good Book to whack people with it. I’ve seen you have your friends run to the ring to interfere in your matches to get you a cheap win. Everyone has seen the cheating you’ve done due to not being able to take on, and defeat, great wrestles like me legally. If every time you deny using weapons, foreign objects, or interference in matches, your nose were to grow like what happened to Pinocchio your nose would be so long it would stretch from New York City to Miami, Florida.

Bea:  Nice comments. By the way, Bill, I won my match against Amelia Emery at Climax Control 293. I noticed you got pinned in your Blast From The Past Tournament and now you and Maki are out of the Tournament. Sure is fun teasing you when I win a match and you lose your match.

Bill:  You have the right to tease me as you are my wife. Yeah stuff happens but I kept my promise that I would not interfere in Maki’s time in the ring until she asked me to get into the match. Maki was a good tag team partner even though she talked down to me.

Bea:  Please continue with your comments. Remember I’ll be in your corner during your match against Brother David to ensure no interference or cheating takes place on his side of this match.

Bill:  Thanks. So, Brother David, we meet again, but this time under different circumstances. The previous match was a Four Way Tables, Ladders, and Chairs, Roulette Championship match which also included Stephen Callaway and Kedron Williams. Now that you don’t have other wrestlers in the match to gang up on me so you can take the advantage do you honestly believe you can get the job done against me? This match is just you and me. Bea, as my Manager, will be in my corner and she will ensure you don’t cheat like I’ve seen you do many times. Oh, yeah, you’ll try to deny it, just as all wrestlers who rely on cheating do, but we’ve seen you use foreign objects, interference, and other illegal tactics. Bea will ensure the Referee sees any cheating on your behalf and that appropriate action will be taken.

Bill pauses for a moment to take a drink of Classic Coke.

Bill:  David the term people use when someone is very scared is Scared Shitless. Nah! When a person is really scared, as you are scared coming into this match against me, the first thing that happens is they lose control of their bowels and shit on themselves. Promise me you’ll shit in your dressing room, or some other sanitary location, instead of holding it in then shitting yourself during our match.

Bea:  Tell them about your recent dreams as dreams have meanings and your dreams have direct meanings for this match.

Bill:  To see a dog in your dreams symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, and fidelity. Yep that describes me perfectly. This dream indicates that I have strong values and good intentions and that those traits will move me forward and bring me success especially in our match when I defeat you. Sometimes I dream about ants and this symbolizes my hard work, diligence, and dedication in the sport of wrestling. Yeah, David, you heard that correctly. Hard work. . .diligence. . .dedication to the sport of wrestling. . .but I can’t expect you to understand concepts like that when you have to rely on cheating and interference in your matches to bail you out.

Bea:  You said you were going to make a comment about winning battles.

Bill:  The saying goes that you cannot win all battles and for sure I hear most of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling use that when discussing me. ALL battles can be won if you put your mind to it. Additionally when there is no cheating, or interference, on the part of your wrestling opponent winning the battles is simple. David you need to be ready to lose this battle because I’m going to win this battle.

Bea leaves for a moment and returns with a large tray of snacks for the three of them. When the three are ready to dive into the snacks Bea asks the cameraman to cut his camera feed so they can have privacy while eating and the cameraman cuts his camera feed and our screen goes black.


87
Climax Control Archives / WE WILL CONTINUE TO WIN IN THE BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT
« on: February 24, 2021, 08:46:00 AM »
WE WILL CONTINUE TO WIN IN THE BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart and Maki won their first Blast From The Past Tournament match and now they move up in the Tournament. This time they face off against Mac Bane and Myra Rivers.

We see Bill Barnhart inside the ring at the Park Theater in Las Vegas where Climax Control 293 will be held. Bill is walking around the ring checking that all the things concerning the ring are prepared as they are supposed to be. When Bill is satisfied all is fine he jumps out of the ring and takes a seat at the announcing table as the cameraman stays focused on him.

SUPPORT YOUR TAG TEAM PARTNER

Bill:  This upcoming Blast From The Past Tournament match is going to be great. . .for our team anyway. . .because I fully support my tag team partner, Maki, because when she gets the win over Myra Rivers she also earns the Bombshell Internet Championship. I’ll not get in the way of her achieving that.

Barnhart smiles into the camera because when he is involved in a tag team match he fully supports his partner.

Bill:  So, Maki, I have to chalk up your negative talk against me as you’re a bit immature and don’t fully understand the concept of being team members who support each other in a match. Let me lay it out for you. In our upcoming match if you are in the ring with Myra I’m not going to try to tag you so I can get into the ring against Mac. Unless you come over to me to tag out of the ring, or unless you yell to me that you need to tag out of the match at that time, or if Myra tags in Mac which requires me to enter the ring, I’ll not interfere in your one-on-one with Myra. That’s not the attitude of a mean uncaring person as you try to make it sound that I am. You need to understand that I’m here for our team and not for myself. The team fails if only one team member supports the team. With that said go in there and take out Myra.

Bill gives a thumbs up into the camera for the benefit of Maki.

RESULTS OF A PREVIOUS MATCH DOES NOT DICTATE HOW CURRENT MATCH WILL GO

Bill:  I’ve had one match against Mac Bane. It was at Climax Control 281 on October 11, 2020. It was a Roulette Rules Dumpster Match with the winner being the wrestler who could stuff their opponent into the dumpster and close the lid. If you listen to only Mac’s side of the story he tries to make you believe he dominated me in the match. Hah! I was dominating him and busting his ass big time but a freak thing happen that turned the match in Mac’s favor. The dumpster we were using was shoved hard and it went a short way up a small incline. I was fighting it out with Mac when the dumpster rolled down the incline and slammed into my back. I fell to the arena floor and the dumpster rolled on top of me. Mac moved the dumpster enough to pull me out from under the dumpster then he tossed me into the dumpster and closed the lid. Stuff happens and it happened to me in that match. But everyone needs to understand that results from a previous match doesn’t equate into a win in your current match.

Barnhart shrugs his shoulders.

Bill:  Mac you already heard I plan on giving Maki as much time as she wants inside the ring against Myra Rivers. In my eyes giving Maki all the time she wants to defeat Myra, and earn the Bombshell Internet Championship, is more important than me kicking your ass. But, Mac, if the match happens to turn out that me and you are in the ring for the win you need to remember this is not Hardcore Rules, this is not a Dumpster Match, this is a regular rules tag team match. You know as well as I do that if that dumpster hadn’t rolled down the incline and hit me in the back I would have defeated you.

Bill stops talking for a moment then he continues.

WHAT IF. . .

Bill:  Wouldn’t it be great if our team in the Blast From The Past Tournament goes into the finals and the team we face for the final win is Senor Vinnie and Alicia Lucas? I know some of you would cringe and think a final match against your regular tag team partner might ruin your friendship. Not a chance with me and Senor Vinnie. We are professionals and we never allow an assignment to wrestle against each other sour our friendship.

Bill stands up from the announcing table. He walks to the ring and climbs the ring steps. Bill takes a position on the ring apron in the corner.

TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU WANT

Bill:  Maki please take notice of where I’m standing right now. This is where I expect to be located for the majority of our match. Unless you tag me into the match, or Myra tags Mac into the match which means I have to get into the ring, or you yell out to me that you need to tag out of the match at that time, I’ll remain here waiting for when you wish to tag me into the match. I refuse to get in the way of you obtaining the Bombshell Internet Championship. Remember that I’m here for you and our team and not for my own benefit and glory.

Barnhart jumps off the ring apron and walks toward the backstage area but he stops in front of the announcing table where he turns to face the camera.

Bill:  Maki I’m here for you and our team whether you understand that or not. Mac and Myra you two are history in the Blast From The Past Tournament. Our team has already proven we’re awesome and we’ll continue with that until the final match where we win the Tournament.

Bill turns and heads off toward the backstage area. He looks back and waves into the camera. The cameraman keeps focused on Bill Barnhart until he steps through the partition into the backstage area then he cuts his camera feed and the scene goes black.


88
Climax Control Archives / GOING TO BE TOUGH ON ANOTHER AMELIA
« on: February 24, 2021, 08:34:47 AM »
GOING TO BE TOUGH ON ANOTHER AMELIA

Narrator:  Bea finally had her request honored to have her first match of 2021. This match is against a newcomer to Sin City Wrestling named Amelia Emery, although she is not a newcomer to the sport of wrestling.

Bea:  Ooooo! Amelia Emery won her debut match and I’m so NOT impressed!

Bea lets out a laugh.

Bea:  What? I have another opponent named Amelia? Wasn’t my defeating someone else with Amelia in their name FOUR in FOUR matches not enough so they toss me another person named Amelia?

Bea lets out a sinister laugh this time.

Bea:  Amelia if you think I’m going to go easy on you in our match you need to forget that thought. You know how a woman is on PMS right? You know the really really really bad PMS where symptoms are so severe the woman can bend a crowbar by holding the crowbar in her teeth and pulling down on each end? Now that you have that mental image stuck in your head you need to realize why I’m ticked off and ready to kick your ass in our match. The last Card I performed on was Climax Control 287 on December 13, 2020. Over two months later I finally get put on a card. That wait to be back in action in the ring has me a hundred times more upset than a woman having horrible and violent PMS symptoms. If you want another mental image of what I might morph into look up a YouTube video of The Incredible Hulk. Doctor Bruce Banner, PhD, would get angry and morph into the Incredible Hulk. That’s me in this match so you better be ready for anything, Amelia, because I’m ready to give you everything I’ve got.

Bea does an Incredible Hulk pose then returns to normal.

Bea:  I enjoyed reading your information sheet Amelia. I find the names of your moves, holds, and finishers, to be amusing. Then again calling cow shit “manure” doesn’t change the fact it is still shit. Let me tell you about another Amelia in history and how well things turned out, or didn’t turn out, for her. Her name was Amelia Earhart. She was a pioneer in aviation not only for being a female pilot but by setting records and accomplishing stuff in aviation others were unable to accomplish. Her last flight was to try to fly across the Pacific Ocean and around the world to return to Miami where the start of this epic flight attempt originated. The last place Amelia took off from was Oakland Airport in Oakland, California, which by the way is my husband Bill’s home town where he was born and grew up. The original airport in Oakland where Amelia took off on this epic flight is not the current International Airport in Oakland but it is located next to Oakland International Airport. It is still referred to as Amelia Earhart Field by Oaklanders who know Oakland’s history. But how did Amelia’s epic flight end? It appears her plane crashed somewhere in the Pacific Ocean and to date investigators are still not sure what happened to her but they confirm she is missing. Well, Miss Amelia, after I get done mopping the arena floor with you on Sunday your name will also be forgotten in history. You started your time here in Sin City Wrestling with a win and I intend to defeat you so soundly you will go into early retirement.

Bea makes a sweeping motion with her hand then stretches her arm out to the side in a gesture showing Amelia Emery where the exit door to the arena is located.

Bea:  Looking at our stats the differences appear to be that you have a one inch height advantage over me and I have ten pounds of weight advantage over you. I’m listed as a Technical and Quick wrestler while you are listed as a Technical and High Flyer wrestler. Although with both of us proficient in Technical wrestling the fact that you use high flying tactics, which are fifty percent successful and fifty percent failure, that gives me a major advantage over you.

Bea smiles into the camera.

Bea:  I’ll close my comments by stating how much I love making opponents hurt. I love making opponents submit rather than just pinning them or allowing them to take a count-out loss. Amelia since I’m ready to make you hurt and lose this match you need to be ready to be hurt and lose this match. Yes it really is that simple. See you on Sunday!

Bea tells the cameraman she is done with her presentation and they call into the Network to inform them. The Network cuts to regularly scheduled programming then our screen goes dark.


89
Climax Control Archives / WEAK OPPONENTS
« on: February 17, 2021, 10:34:32 AM »
WEAK OPPONENTS

Narrator:  Here we are at Climax Control 292 where Bill Barnhart and Maki face off against Joshua Acquin and Samantha Marlowe in the Blast from the Past Tournament. Since I don’t want to take anything away from the comments of Bill Barnhart I will end my opening comments and turn the air time over to Bill Barnhart.

APPRECIATE YOUR TAG TEAM PARTNER

The scene of the Narrator slowly fades out then slowly opens to show Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, in their hotel room at a hotel near Sam’s Town. Iris is doing her normal doggy sniffing around to see what interesting things she can sniff out. Bill is on the couch dressed in khaki shorts, flip flops, and a black tee shirt. Bea comes in and out of the shot as she keeps going into the kitchen area to bring out snacks for her and her boys to enjoy.

Bill:  The first thing I wish to say is how much I appreciate the fact Maki was drawn to be my partner in the Blast From The Past Tournament. Maki you may be quirky but I know you are loyal to wrestlers you team with and you are an extremely talented and aggressive wrestler. I know during our match you have my back and you know I have your back. Bea has both our backs so there will be no interference or attacks on us during the match. Maki I see us winning the Tournament so get ready for a hell of a wild ride to the finish!

Bea walks into the room from the kitchen area carrying a small amount of food and drinks. Bill and Iris perk up as both are anxious to dive into the food.

Bea:  You two need to calm down. You’ll get to eat and drink when I’m ready for you to eat and drink and not a moment before! Speaking of calming down, Bill, I took your advice and calmed down about not yet being put on a Card to wrestle in 2021. I received a notification notification from Management that they plan on scheduling me for a match at Climax Control 292 but my opponent is being kept secret for now. Doesn’t matter who that opponent ends up being as plan on unleashing my anger for not yet being active in the ring for 2021 on whoever they send my way.

Bill:  Damn!

Iris:  RUFF!

Bill:  Yeah, Iris, you’re right! Bea’s being rough on us but I know it is for our benefit. She also plans on being rough on the wrestler assigned as her first opponent for 2021 at Climax Control 293.

Iris lets out a snort and flops on the floor due to not having her snacks yet. Bea laughs at Bill and Iris then she returns to the kitchen area to prepare more food to bring out for them.

JOSHUA ACQUIN AND SAMANTHA MARLOW

Bill:  I would like to start out talking about Joshua Acquin since I need to be in the ring against him when the males of our team are tagged into the match. Joshua I noticed you have held championships but both were very short runs. There’s a hell of a big difference between being classified as a Champion for a week or two and being the Champion for a long period of time. Now, Joshua, we are not strangers to each other in the ring. Since you’ll try to claim you have no memory of a match against me I’ll tell everyone watching so they can call you out when out when you try to deny it. Our match was on August 25, 2019 at Summer XXXTreme VII. The winner of that match obtained the Number One Contendership for the Roulette Championship. And, Joshua, since you’re not going to tell the fans the truth I damn sure will. I defeated you by submission with my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold and I went on to challenge for the Roulette Championship. Now that the truth is out there please don’t try to bullshit you way around your loss to me at Summer XXXTreme VII. And when me and Maki defeat you and Samantha at Climax Control 292 don’t try to bullshit your way around that loss either.

Bea looks out from the kitchen area and comments to Bill.

Bea:  Bill make sure you tell them the weak accomplishments of Samantha Marlowe.

Bill:  Thanks! Sam since Maki isn’t here with me to make comments with me I’ll take the liberty of making my own comments about you. From my research you have been a Champion twice but the combined amount of time you were serving as Champion was around seven months. Maybe wrestlers like you consider a one month and a six month run as Champion as a major accomplishment but I feel runs of six months or less as Champion means you couldn’t survive as a Champion. Seven months serving as Champion and that is a combination of time holding the Championship twice? Tsk tsk tsk. Well, Sam, I have great news for you. Since Maki and I are going to defeat you and Joshua you won’t have to worry about a short run as a Champion again. Why am I so sure our team will win? Look at my partner, Maki, and that’s your answer.

Bea comes out of the kitchen area again and Bill and Iris start drooling as both are ready to down some food and snacks. Bea places the food on the table.

Bea:  You two stop or you’ll get a verbal thrashing from me! I’m not done with the snacks and drinks yet so back off! Also, Bill, please inform the viewers of the questions and comments you’ve been receiving from fans and other wrestlers.

As Bea turns and walks toward the kitchen area Bill looks into the camera to tell the viewers what Bea asked him to tell them.

Bill:  I’m having people ask me what I think of the teams that won their Blast From The Past matches at Climax Control 291. I don’t give a shit who won their Blast From The Past matches at Climax Control 291. The only winners of their Blast From The Past match that anyone needs to take notice of is myself and Maki as we are the team that will win the Tournament.

A ZOOM CALL COMES IN

As Bill ends his comments his computer on the coffee table sounds a tone to indicate there is a Zoom video call coming in. Bill looks at it then he tells us what is going on while he presses the mouse button to answer the call.

Bill:  Please excuse the interruption but this is an important call from our neighbors, Andy and Rebecca, in Lawrenceville, Georgia, as they just went through a rough experience. They live a few houses down from us. Andy is a White guy like me and his wife is also from the Philippines. They can hear my comments and I know they don’t mind sharing their experience with the viewers.

With the consent of Andy and Rebecca the Zoom call continues.

Bill:  I know you two had a bit of a rough time recently. I’m glad you’re willing to talk about it as we want to know you are okay and I’m sure the viewers would like to know in case something like this happens to them and their families.

Andy:  Most of what happened concerns Rebecca’s mother, my mother in-law, so she will probably present most of the information.

Rebecca:  My mother came to live with us in Georgia in 2017 as a legal Immigrant from the Philippines. When she arrived we found her behavior a bit off so we took her to the doctor for an evaluation and the doctor determined she was suffering from Alzheimer’s and Dementia and it will never improve. The doctor said she will continue to decline slowly, which she did, and when we came to mid-2020 she was basically about at the mental level of a baby and she was barely able to walk and eat.

Andy:  Then at the end of December both me and Rebecca had a bad cough and sinus issues and we figured it was our normal annual cough and cold due to cold weather as we had that every year around that time. However by the first week of January 2021 Rebecca was coughing so much she could barely function and her energy was drained. At one point she had a difficult time breathing and asked me to take her to the hospital as she felt she might be under the influence of the Covid virus. Rebecca's friend came over to watch her mother while I took Rebecca to the hospital. They refused to allow me into the Emergency Room so I had no clue what was going on with Rebecca until y two days had passed and Rebecca called me.

Rebecca:  Turns out I tested positive for Covid and they kept me in the hospital for ten days. When I was discharged I could breathe on my own and my oxygen level was ninety-eight percent which was very good. Before I was discharged my friend said she didn’t want me to come home from the hospital until she took my mother with her to her home in Cumming. It was due to me still positive for Covid and still able to spread Covid to others. With the physical state my mother was in my friend took her to Cumming to her home so I could come home and not infect my mother. I came home and self-isolated for the required amount of time and I am fine now. My mother, however, was not able to breathe two days after I came home so my friend took her to the same hospital I was treated in.

Andy:  Things got very stressful at this time.

Rebecca:  They admitted my mother and five days later they told me she is not responding to the medication for Covid, or the medication to counter her pneumonia, or the medication to treat another infection. They told us my mother could not eat so they had a feeding tube installed. Me and Andy went to the hospital to visit her the last week of January and my mother was in terminal condition at that time.

Andy:  We returned to the hospital on Sunday, January 31, 2021, to visit mother. She was in really bad shape. I had a hard time dealing with the situation so I went home to wait for Rebecca to call me to pick her up. At 4:00 p.m. I picked Rebecca up and we came home. At 7:45 p.m. we received a call her mother passed away.

Rebecca:  We had mother cremated and her ashes are on our fireplace mantle. We held a memorial service for her also so we are doing well now. Bill tell them what the attending Doctor said to us as I’m unable to discuss what that disgusting woman said to us.

Andy:  The attending Doctor said since they have classified mother as “stable” they have to send her to our home under the care of Hospice until she passes away. When I asked the doctor how mother not responding to medication, not able to eat on her own so she needs a feeding tube, and cannot breathe on her own, as STABLE the doctor started yelling at us. The exact words of the doctor was “Well we classify her medically as stable because she is not responding to any medications. She is nearly eighty-one years of age. She needs to vacate this room so we can place a young person in the room who will respond to treatments.”  How would you feel when the doctor’s comments basically said mother was expendable so she needs to make room for younger patients? Yeah it feels like crap.

We hear Rebecca crying while reliving that incident.

Andy:  I have to end the Zoom call but I want to let you know how we are doing concerning the Covid virus. Rebecca tested herself for the virus four times since leaving the hospital and she had one positive then three negatives so she is fine. Our twelve year old daughter Keira tested positive once and then two negatives after that. Although she did have a positive Covid test she had no symptoms at all. As for me I tested twice and twice came back negative. Thanks for the concern but we are doing okay now. Bye.

The Zoom call ends and Bill and Bea look at each other with shock on their faces as this is the first time they heard this story of what the uncaring Doctor said.

Bill:  Wow! To be told the life of a relative isn’t worth anything is horrible!

Bea:  Beyond horrible!

KARMA

Bill:  I rarely wish bad things to happen to others but I hope that insensitive doctor has Karma rise up and kick her in the face.

Bea:  I studied the concept of Karma when I was in College in the Philippines. The concept of Karma is based on Hinduism and Buddhism. It refers to the energy, or force, created by a person’s actions in their current life, has a direct effect on transmigration meaning what their nature and life will be in that person’s next existence. That’s why when you are in these countries and help a poor or sick or handicapped person other people will condemn you stating you are helping the person to become a failure again. They tell those poor and sick people they are suffering due to Karma from what they did, or didn’t do, in a previous life. They tell them to get it right this time around so when they are reincarnated they might end up with a better life.

Bill:  I’ve heard there are two types of Karma. The one you get when you go into the next life and one that is instant such as a person snatches a purse or briefcase from someone to rob them then runs into the street and gets hit by a car. I hope that doctor that did this to Andy and Rebecca will get instant Karma.

Bea turns and goes back into the kitchen to finish up the snacks. Bill shakes his head thinking about how insensitive the doctor was. Iris just wants Mommy Bea to hurry up with the snacks.

MAKI IS A GREAT PARTNER AND WE WILL WIN THE TOURNAMENT

Bill:  I’m fortunate to have Maki as my partner in the Blast From The Past Tournament. If you were paying attention recently you saw Maki and her tag team partner Miles Kasey face off against Coby Quick and Mikah. For Coby and Mikah, who brag about how great their wrestling skills are, you saw them cheat during their match and screw Maki and Miles Kasey out of a the win. Too bad Coby and Mikah felt that threatened by Maki that they had to cheat to win. That tells me with Maki as my partner our team is unbeatable. Coby and Mikah presented themselves as wild cats and I guess their comparison to being wild cats is somewhat appropriate since they are Cheetahs!

Bea calls out from the kitchen area.

Bea:  Nice one Bill. I’ll have your food ready soon so you and Iris can stop whining and pretending you are starving to death.

KINETIC ENERGY

Bill:  I would like to explain Kinetic Energy to our opponents. I have to keep it simple since Joshua Acquin and Samantha Marlowe are not known for being the sharpest knife in the silverware drawer. Kinetic energy is the energy in a moving object. When that moving object collides with another object it transfers some of that energy to the other object. If the moving object is moving slowly when it hits the non-moving object the energy transfer is nearly equal and usually both objects will end up with the same amount of energy and stop moving shortly after that. However if the moving object is of a good size, and moving at a high rate of speed, when it slams into the non-moving object the non-moving object is sent on a wild ride or it is destroyed. Well, Joshua, you damn sure better hope you’re not in the ring with me as the legal wrestlers in the ring when this large moving object slams into you and you are damage beyond continuing in the match. If I have you damaged and unable to tag out to Samantha you know damn well I won’t tag Maki in since I already have you defeated. What’s that Joshua? You don’t believe I can defeat you? Go back to Summer XXXTreme VII when I not only defeated you in the match to obtain the Number One Contendership for the Roulette Championship I defeated you by submission with my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold. Yeah, Joshua, I defeated you before and I’ll do it again!

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT THE REAL DEAL

Bill: Joshua, Samantha, be ready to be destroyed by myself and Maki. We’re both the real deal. Maki is a great partner and we’ll defeat you two easily. Also put this into your heads. You have so many wrestlers who have to make up gimmicks for their wrestlers in order to hope the fans might support them. Want to know something? In my nineteen years in the sport of wrestling I’ve never tried to trick people with gimmicks. What you get with me is the real deal. Using a cooking analogy you can say that where some ground beef is seventy percent meat and thirty percent fat that means once you cook off the fat you are left with thirty percent less meat than you started with. Keeping with the cooking analogy I’m one hundred percent real. I don’t add gimmicks, or props to my clothing, or make up some fake history of who I am, where I came from, and where I’m going. What you get with me and Maki is a one hundred percent tag team that is going to beat you two down so hard you won’t even want to get up after the match is over. You two have been warned and the other wrestlers in the Blast From The Past Tournament who are watching this presentation have also been warned.

Bea comes out of the kitchen area with the food and drinks for Bill and Iris. After she sets all the food and drinks out she gives them the signal to start eating.

Bea:  Ready. . .Set. . .GO!!!

Bill and Iris dive onto the food and they start a food fight as both want the same food at the same time. Bill takes the advantage by tossing Iris onto her back then sitting on her chest while Bill stuffs food in his mouth while laughing at Iris. Bea shakes her head at the antics of Bill and Iris then she steps in and breaks them up and orders the two to eat nicely and stop fighting and they comply with her demands.

The cameraman cuts his feed and the screen goes black.


90
Climax Control Archives / FACING BEN JORDAN AGAIN
« on: January 11, 2021, 12:16:43 PM »
FACING BEN JORDAN AGAIN

Narrator:  Bill is on the Climax Control 290 card in a match against Ben Jordan. Bill has been in a match against Ben Jordan and that was Mixed Tag Team event. This coming match is a Standard Rules Singles match so things will be different this time.

The scene changes as we catch up with Bill Barnhart. It appears he is in the broadcast studio at the Star of the Desert Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada. Bill is dressed differently than we normally see him. Whereas we usually see him in very casual clothing today we see Bill in a dark gray business suit, black dress shoes, a white shirt, and a dark gray tie that matches the color of his suit. When the studio personnel inform Barnhart they are live broadcasting Bill launches into his comments.

HOW BILL AND BEN MEASURE UP

Bill:  I guess you’ve noticed that Bea is not with me during my presentation leading up to my match with Ben Jordan. There’s a reason for that. Since there are so many pathetic whining bitches in Sin City Wrestling who don’t like seeing Managers get on the camera with their wrestler, even though those same pathetic whining bitches have their managers and valets on camera with them when presenting comments, I asked Bea to stay out of this presentation. The secondary reason is that Bea is highly upset she wasn’t placed on the Climax Control 290 card so I’d rather not have her in front of the camera hurling obscenities to the viewers. Bea told me if she gets placed on the card at Inception her victory in her match will be so shocking it will send shock waves throughout the Universe.

Bill lets out a loud laugh.

Bill:  I want to tell you how me and Ben measure up against each other. I am 6 feet 4 inches and 240 pounds. Ben is 6 feet 2 inches and 220 pounds. I’m a Technical Brawler and Submission expert while Ben claims to be an All-Around wrestler. The term All-Around is a catch all term wrestlers use when even they have no clue what type of wrestling style they excel in.

HISTORY BETWEEN BEN AND BILL

Bill:  The first incident I had with Ben Jordan was during my match against Kedron Williams on August 11, 2019, at Climax Control 245. I was taking the hurt to Kedron when the lights in the arena went out. When the lights came on again Ben Jordan was in the ring trading insults with Kedron. As they were arguing I took advantage of Kedron being distracted so I hit him with a Bulldog before locking him into my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold for the win.

Bill rolls his eyes.

Bill:  Ben I didn’t need your bullshit of running in on my match and distracting my opponent! I don’t need anyone’s help to defeat anyone in any type of match and that includes in our upcoming match. Since you decided to get involved in my match with Kedron Williams you’re due a payback beat down for interfering in my match.

Bill gives a thumbs up into the camera.

Bill:  The match I directly had against Ben Jordan was a Mixed Tag Team match against Ben and Evie Jordan. That was at Climax Control 282 on October 18, 2020. I already commended you, Ben, for being the wrestler in the match who made me submit for their win. However, Ben, at Climax Control 290 I’ll get revenge for that loss and send you back to the bottom of the ladder to try to earn your way back up into contention.

WHAT HAPPENED

Bill:  Leading up to my match with Fenris, at Climax Control 288, to end the year 2020, he asked what happened to me from the time I worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance where I was a multiple Grand Slam achiever. That was a great question and I’ll respond to it.

Bill hangs a chart on the wall with photos of various wrestlers throughout the world of wrestling.

Bill:  Please take a look at this chart. Growing up I idolized wrestlers like Dan Severn, Bruno Sammartino, Lou Albano, Pat Patterson, and Ole Anderson. Why? They were brawlers and easily got the job done against opponents. They were not high-flyers. They were not violent wrestlers like those we’ve seen who use knives, razor blades, broken glass, or other weapons, in non-Hardcore Rules matches, to injure their opponents. They got the job done by continuing an assault until their opponent was done. I put Ole Anderson at the top of my favorites list as he was a wrestler who worked over one or more parts of his opponent’s body until that opponent could no longer function with those parts of their body. From there the victory was a given.

Bill is done pointing out and discussing the various wrestlers on the poster.

Bill:  As I mentioned a moment ago I was asked why I don’t seem to be the same wrestler I was in Asylum Wrestling Alliance where I was a multiple Grand Slam achiever. That was then and this is now. We all age as we move along the timeline of life. I’m still the same Bill Barnhart, who is a Technical Brawler and Submission expert but after years of being condemned for being horribly vicious and violent in the ring, which I wasn’t except for those times I had to deal with my half-brother Chris Shipman, I decided to tone down my attitude a bit. I decided that in matches that were not against my half-brother Chris Shipman, or the matches were not Hardcore Rules, I would abide by the rules and let the outcome of the match come out as it will.

FANS QUESTIONS FOR BILL BARNHART

Bill walks over to the desk in the studio and sits down so he can communicate with the people calling in using the speaker on the desk.

Bill:  I asked for this speaker setup so that people can call in and ask wrestling related questions that I’ll answer. We have our first caller. What is your question for me?

Caller:  Who do you feel is the best James Bond?

Bill:  I was expecting a wrestling-related question but that’s okay I’ll answer your question. Roger Moore was, in my opinion, the best James Bond. We have a second caller on the line. What is your question for me?

Caller:  Who do you feel is the best Doctor Who?

Bill:  What the . . . ? Another non-wrestling question? Tom Baker of course! And our third, and final caller, is now on the line so let’s hear a wrestling-related question for me.

Caller:  Why do you believe you can defeat Ben Jordan in your upcoming match?

Bill:  Defeating Ben Jordan will be as easy as squashing a Cockroach under my wrestling boots. Ben cannot continue to rely on past success when he doesn’t have a lot to brag about lately. Nobody can be successful looking over their shoulder and dwelling on past successes. They need to focus on the now, and the near future, in order to be successful. Watch me make easy work of Ben at Climax Control 290.

Bill turns the speaker for the phone off then he looks straight into the camera.

Bill:  Ben the shit is gonna hit the fan at Climax Control 290 and you’re the person standing in front of the fan. The saying goes that when the shit hits the fan you need to stand behind the fan not in front of it. Have fun when the shit hits the fan and splashes in your face.


91
Climax Control Archives / OH...BROTHER
« on: January 06, 2021, 06:23:24 PM »
OH BROTHER!!!

Narrator:  Although Bill Barnhart wasn’t successful in his Fatal Four Way Roulette Championship match at Climax Control 286, since it was Brother David Shepherd who landed on the mat in possession of the Roulette Championship Belt, Bill opens 2021 with his first match of the new year for a shot at the Roulette Championship. This is another Fatal Four Way Roulette Rules match that pits Barnhart against Agostino Romano, Miles Kasey, and Lincoln Daniels, with the winner goes on to face Brother David Shepherd for the Roulette Championship at the first Super Show of 2021. It doesn’t need to be stated, but I will state it anyway, that we all know Bill Barnhart will be the wrestler to win this match to go on to win the Roulette Championship from Brother David.

DON’T F*CK WITH ME

We switch scenes and we see Bill Barnhart, Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, walking around the backstage area at the Gold Coast Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. Bill and Bea are casually dressed in blue jeans, pull-over shirts, and black athletic shoes. Iris, as always, is adorned in her pink diamond-studded doggy collar. The cameraman is there to keep focused on them to broadcast what they do and say to the viewers. Bill, Bea, and Iris, stop and face the camera.

Bill:  I wish to thank those viewers who tuned in today to listen to our comments leading up to my Fatal Four Way Roulette Rules match to determine who faces Brother David Shepherd at the first Super Show of 2021. I have numerous items to present so please sit back, grab your favorite drink, relax, and enjoy the show.

Bea:  Before Bill launches into his presentation leading up to his match at Climax Control 289 I have a comment I wish to make. No I am not assigned to wrestle in this match as Bill is assigned to the match. So why am I contributing to his comments leading up to his match? I’m not only Bill’s wife, and a wrestler in the Bombshell Division, I’m Bill’s Manager. As his Manager I have the right to be included in his on-air time to present comments on his matches. Nobody seems to have an issue with other Managers being with their wrestler or wrestlers when they are on camera so they need to back off of me on that subject. With that out of the way I will turn it over to Bill. The first item Bill wishes to present is an incident he had in our housing development in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

Bill:  Our Homeowners Association is very strict when it comes to outsiders. They have a sign posted at both entrances to our development that states Huntington Landing Homeowners Association does not accept trespassers or solicitors on their property and enforcement of the no soliciting and no trespassing restriction is enforced by Gwinnett Police.

Bea:  Even with this being clearly posted at both entrances to our housing development we still have dozens of solicitors per week knocking on doors and ringing doorbells harassing homeowners. I’ll let Bill tell you about one specific incident that happened recently.

Bill:  I was walking Iris in our neighborhood when I came across a solicitor inside our housing development. As previously mentioned our Homeowners Association has clearly visible signs posted, at both entrances, stating Huntington Landing Homeowners Association does not tolerate trespassing or solicitors and the key statement is ABSOLUTELY NO SOLICITING and that it is enforced by Gwinnett Police. I asked the solicitor to please leave our neighborhood since our Homeowners Association has a strict NO SOLICITING regulation and that they have Gwinnett Police enforce it. Sorry that I’m like that but I hate being bothered constantly by solicitors whether they are trying to sell roofing, siding, windows, asking you to vote for a certain political candidate, or trying to get you to switch from your current television, internet, and phone provider. When I asked this solicitor to please leave they told me to *bleep* off so I got on my phone and called the Gwinnett Police Non-Emergency number. While waiting for the Dispatcher to answer the Non-Emergency line the solicitor got upset with me for returning their *bleep* comment which they made to me first. They put their car in park, set the emergency brake, then got out of the car and charged at me and Iris threatening to hurt both of us. If only they knew I was a professional wrestler and would have driven them face-first into the pavement they wouldn’t have threatened me. Do you remember that vile moron Iris?

Iris:  Grrrr!!!

Bill:  I know how you feel Iris. I told the solicitor since they went from being rude and cursing to communicating a threat of harm to me and Iris, which is threatening to commit Assault and Battery on us, that I’m ending my call with Gwinnett Police Non-Emergency and dialing 911 to report an emergency of an assault about to happen. No I didn’t inform the Police that if the person got closer to me I would rearranged their face in the pavement in the street but I did tell them they’re threatening to assault me and Iris. The solicitor said they’ll wait and talk to the Police so I told them fine and for them to wait. Since I had my cell phone on speaker the instant Gwinnett Police 911 Emergency picked up and the solicitor heard their voice they took their car out of park, released the emergency brake, and sped off never to be seen again. Bottom line? Don’t f*ck with me!

Bea:  Bill remained restrained during this altercation even though the solicitor threatened to harm him and Iris. I say ATTEMPT because had they tried to attack Bill they would have been quickly sent to the Intensive Care Unit at the nearest hospital as Bill would have messed them up big time.

Bill:  That incident with the vile solicitor fits well as a lead-in to my match at Climax Control 289. That match opens Climax Control 289 and it is a Fatal Four Way Roulette Rules match where I face off against Agostino Romano, Miles Kasey, and Lincoln Daniels. How does it make me feel to face these three fools? It makes me feel like I’m in a Happy Days episode where I’m the Fonz, who is cool and well-liked, but I have to interact with morons like Ralph Malph, Potsie Weber, and Richie Cunningham. Sheesh! These three fools haven’t got a chance against me!

Bill, Bea, and Iris, start walking around the backstage area again. After a short time the three stop and face the camera again.

DON’T TAKE A STEP BACK. . .TAKE A STEP FORWARD

Bill:  People say when you falter you need to take a step back. I say you need to take a step forward and continue moving ahead. I admit I lost the Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match for the Roulette Championship at Climax Control 286 when Brother David Shepherd landed on the mat in possession of the Roulette Championship. I refuse to take a step back and think things over. I’ll take a step forward and right the wrong that happened that night. I’ll win this Fatal Four Way Roulette Rules match against Romano, Kasey, and Daniels, then go on to defeat Brother David to become the next Roulette Champion. My match opens Climax Control 289 and there are nine matches on the Card. My performance in the opening match will be so stellar, so stunning, so spectacular, so awe-inspiring that the wrestlers in the other eight matches will fail to live up to the level of my match.

KEEPING THE INNER DEMON CONTAINED

Bill, Bea, and Iris, remain where they are while their comments continue.

Bill:  I had an issue when I served in Asylum Wrestling Alliance that caused me to sometimes lose control and severely injure opponents.

Bea:  It was one of those items you try to understand and figure out but sometimes you need expert assistance to find the cause and a solution.

Bill:  When I contacted my Family Doctor, Doctor Kim, he found out that I had an inner demon that was controlling me. He said the inner demon was a primary result of having to endure the crap from my half-brother Chris Shipman. Doctor Kim said the inner demon would rise up and take control of me and during that time I would inflict severe, and often career-ending, injuries on opponents, without being conscious that I was inflicting that level of damage. He stressed that this inner demon thing was a direct result of having to face my evil half-brother, Chris Shipman, in some of the most twisted and violent matches ever known in the wrestling world. These matches were so twisted and sickening that the majority of those type of matches have been banned in nearly every Wrestling Federation on the planet. After Doctor Kim taught me how to control the inner demon, instead of allowing the inner demon to control me, I became more successful in Asylum Wrestling Alliance and gained the backing of the fans. This control allowed me to let the inner demon rise up without taking control of me so I could easily send it back inside and control it. However, Doctor Kim stated, there will be times that my inner demon and myself will be equal in strength and during those times I would have to work hard and endure to keep the demon under control.

Bea:  That worked the majority of the time. However when Bill would get assigned to another twisted and violent match against his half-brother Chris Shipman in most of those matches his inner demon would take over to the point where Bill was not able to quickly subdue it.

Bill: When I had to face my half-brother Chris Shipman I would often knowingly allow my inner demon to come out, take control, and inflict severe damage on Chris. You are wondering why I would do something like that right? If you had a half-brother in wrestling with you, and his entire life he vowed to hurt you, injure you, destroy you, and kill you, what the hell do you think you would have done with that situation? Yeah! That’s what I thought. Since you weren’t there taking the crap from my half-brother you all need to shut the hell up! Would I do that here in Sin City Wrestling of knowingly allow my inner demon to come out, take control, and inflict damage on my opponents? I don’t plan on ever doing that again. However if my opponents go so far as to perpetrated attacks on me, or have interference in the match, then if my inner demon rises up and takes control I’ll not be held responsible for the results of the damage inflicted. You’ve been warned!

Bill, Bea, and Iris, start walking around the backstage area again and the cameraman keeps focused on them. They stop near a venue that still has some leftover holiday decorations up from 2020. They look at the remaining Christmas decorations.

CHRISTMAS 2020

Bea:  Bill I really enjoyed the 2020 holiday season especially Christmas. Now the holiday season is over and we’re starting off 2021 and you get to open 2021 with a match to earn a shot at the Roulette Champion at the next Super Show.

Bill:  I honestly don’t enjoy the holiday season, especially Christmas, as I don’t enjoy trying to find gifts for others and nobody knows what to get me even though they know my top two loves, after you and Iris of course, are Chocolate and Coffee. But now that we enter 2021 and my first match of the new year is to earn another shot at the Roulette Championship I couldn’t be happier.

Bea:  You found the perfect gifts for me Bill. I don’t like people buying clothes or food items for me when they don’t really know what my size is or what I like to eat. You gave me twenty $10 Lottery Scratchers and I ended up winning a total of $150 in a combination of cash and additional tickets from the scratchers. Of course I would have loved to win the top prizes but you can’t always expect that is how things will turn out with Lottery Scratchers.

Bill:  Maybe you cannot expect to always win the top prizes in Lottery Scratchers but for sure I expect to defeat my Romano, Kasey, and Daniels, to get a shot at Brother David for the Roulette Championship! And you nailed the gifts for me with several boxes of coffee K-Cups for our Keurig coffee brewer and a box of chocolates. My two loves, after you and Iris, coffee and chocolate! Of course Iris was the easiest one to get gifts for. Anything, and I mean anything, food-related is a great gift where Iris is concerned.

Bea:  I know you’ll easily defeat Agostino Romano, Miles Kasey, and Lincoln Daniels, then you’ll defeat Brother David Shepherd and claim your rightful place as Roulette Champion.

Bill:  That’s what I plan on doing.

HOLD MY…

Bill, Bea, and Iris, once again continue walking around the backstage area of the Gold Coast Casino with the cameraman diligently doing his job of keeping his camera focused on them. While they are walking in the backstage area they are met by Senor Vinnie who is also walking around the backstage area. We notice Bill has a cup of coffee in one hand and chocolate in his other hand and he goes back and forth eating chocolate and sipping coffee.

Senor Vinnie:  Bill you really love your coffee and chocolate right?

Bea:  Yes he does! Bill loves coffee and chocolate more than he likes pepperoni pizza and Classic Coke and that says a lot about Bill and his coffee and chocolate when you know how much he loves pepperoni pizza and Classic Coke.

Bill:  I read an article where they’re predicting the world will run out of chocolate and coffee by the year 2025. My first reaction is if they run out of coffee and chocolate there’s gonna be a hell of a lot of people getting hurt at my hands.

Bill, Bea, and Vinnie, start laughing at Bill’s comments on the world running out of chocolate and coffee when an unknown person runs up to the four of them and starts going off on them.

Unknown Person:  Bill Barnhart? More like Bill Blowhard! You talk smack about hurting people if the world runs out of coffee and chocolate but you don’t seem to be doing much hurt on your opponents in the wrestling ring!

Bill pauses drinking his coffee and eating his chocolate and looks at the unknown person.

Bill:  Are you talking to me?

Unknown Person:  Well, duh, I mentioned your name didn’t I?

Bea:   I placed a call to Security and they should be here shortly to escort this moron out of the building.

The unknown person takes offense to Bea calling Security to have him taken out of the building, and also her calling him a moron, so he takes a few steps toward Bea and his fists are clenched as though he wants to hit Bea.

Bill:  Vinnie hold my coffee and chocolate while I take care of this idiot.

When the unknown person hears Bill’s comments he charges toward Bill which distracts him away from trying to hurt Bea. As the man approaches Bill in a threatening manner Bill take a defensive stance and he is ready to beat this moron into next week when Security personnel show up. They see that the unknown person perpetrated the attempted attack on Bill. Security grabs the person and starts to drag him out of the building.

Unknown Person:  I will get you one day Bill Barnhart! You’ll regret the day you called Security on me!

Bill:  It was Bea who called Security on you not me. Also since you’ll be in jail for a significant period of time I won’t hold my breath waiting to see your pathetic face again.

Security drags the unknown person out of the building and quiet returns to where Bill, Bea, Vinnie, and Iris are standing.

Senor Vinnie:  Ha ha ha!!!

Bill:  What are you laughing at Vinnie? And give me back my coffee and chocolate.

Senor Vinnie:  I’m laughing Bill. . .ha ha ha. . .because I have idiots come up to me all the time. . . ha ha ha. . .and disrespect me like that guy tried to disrespect you. Now. . .ha ha ha. . .watching it happen to you can see how I look when. . .ha ha ha ha. . .people do that to me. Here’s your coffee and chocolate back.

Bill takes possession of his coffee and chocolate from Senor Vinnie and he continues eating his chocolate and sipping his coffee.

Bill:  Probably some thug being paid by my upcoming opponents to try to intimidate me before our match. I never get intimidated so they just wasted their money and their time hiring a moronic wannabe thug. I’ll defeat the Three Stooges so quickly that I’ll break the Sound Barrier and create a Sonic Boom in the process! I mean, come on, the combined wrestling skills and abilities of my three opponents combined doesn’t even come up to half of the wrestling skills and abilities I possess. Vinnie we’re going to return to our hotel room and then get something to eat for dinner. Care to join us?

Senor Vinnie:  I appreciate the offer but I want some quiet time to ponder my match against O’Malley so I’ll see you two, and Iris, later.

Vinnie turns and walks down the hallway until he is out of sight then the cameraman returns his camera to focus on Bill and Bea.

Bill:  What should we get for dinner?

Bea:  Iris will eat anything so I say we go for Taco Bell or Wendy’s. For damn sure we’ll never eat at McDonald’s again after that horrible experience we had ordering food online then going to the restaurant to pick up the food.

Bill:  Taco Bell it is!!!

At the sound of Taco Bell Iris perks up and she’s ready for dinner. Bill and Bea thank the cameraman for his time airing their comments. They then turn and walk away from the cameraman who keeps his camera focused on them until they are out of sight then he cuts his camera feed and our screen goes black.


92
Climax Control Archives / SECOND TIME FACING FENRIS
« on: December 16, 2020, 06:56:12 PM »
SECOND TIME FACING FENRIS

Narrator:  For those of you who don’t remember, or you didn’t do your research, Bill Barnhart joined Sin City Wrestling in August 2019 and he indicated publicly that he had three wrestlers he would like to face and he considered facing them as a Dream Match. They were Casey Williams, Griffin Hawkins, and Fenris.

CUSTOMER SERVICE IS NON-EXISTENT THESE DAYS

This incident took place in Lawrenceville, Georgia, when Bea ordered food online from McDonald’s, using her cell phone, and she sent Bill to drive to the location and pick up the food.

Bea:  Okay, Bill, the order has been placed and I texted you the screen shot of the confirmation with the order number. You just have to go to the McDonald’s restaurant at 4915 Sugarloaf Parkway in Lawrenceville. The online order system said you just give them the order number and you can pick up our order.

Bill:  Am I supposed to go through the drive-thru to pick up the food like I did when you ordered food from Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Bea:  Good question. After I placed the order the website said you give them your order number and they will give you the food. I don’t think you have to go through the drive-thru but you can try. The other comment on the website said you can also enter the restaurant and give them your order number and they will give you the food.

Bill:  I hope this works. Too many times people order food online then when they go to pick it up the restaurant either screwed up the order or they claim they never got it. I don’t trust Programmers to make any program work correctly. I should be back home in around 30 minutes since the McDonalds on Sugarloaf Parkway is only 2.5 miles one-way.

Bill drives off and arrives at McDonalds at 4915 Sugarloaf Parkway in about 5 minutes. He goes through the drive-thru and we hear the interaction.

McDonald’s Worker:  May I take your order?

Bill:  My wife made an online order and she sent me here to pick up the food. I have the order number.

McDonald’s Worker:  You can’t do that.

Bill:  What the hell do you mean I can’t do that? I have the order number! I’m new at this and I have no idea what to do to get my food! I came through the drive-thru but if you cannot do it through the drive-thru should I leave the drive-thru and park and walk into the restaurant?

McDonald’s Worker:  Let me have you talk to the Manager.

After a short delay the Manager of this McDonald’s comes on the speaker.

McDonald’s Manager:  We cannot give you your order as it isn’t in our computer system.

Bill:  What the hell do you mean it isn’t in your computer system? My wife ordered the food online and paid for it so you damn sure need to give me our food! Do I leave the drive-thru and come into the restaurant so you can take the order number and give me our food?

McDonald’s Manager:  Let me have you talk to the Assistant Manager so he can explain it too you better than I can.

Bill: * SIGH *

After a short delay the Assistant Manager comes on the speaker.

McDonald’s Assistant Manager:  Sir we cannot take you order in the drive-thru lane. We also cannot take your order in the restaurant using your order number. You have to come to the restaurant with the phone that the order was placed on and only when you park in our parking lot will your phone send a message to us that you are in the parking lot and we will process your order and bring the food to your car.

Bill:  What the F*ck! My wife has her phone at home but she sent me a screen shot of the order confirmation with the order code. I can give you the order code and you can fill my order. That’s what your website said we can do. I can park and come into the restaurant and show you the screen shot showing the order number.

McDonald’s Assistant Manager:  I’m sorry but until you bring the phone the order was made on we cannot give you the food.

Bill:  Damn! My wife has her phone at home! So you are telling me I drove 2.5 miles here so you can refuse to give us our food, now you want me to drive 2.5 miles home to get my wife and bring her to McDonald’s with her phone, and that means I will be making two round trips for a total of 10 miles and that doesn’t even account for slowness of getting our “fast” food. Shit! Damn! F*ck!

McDonald’s Assistant Manager:  Sorry but. . .

Bill:  Sorry your ass!!!

Bill speeds out of the McDonald’s parking area and heads home calling Bea on the way. Even Bea confirms the website said just park, go into the McDonald’s, show them the order number, and get the food. When the two return to McDonald’s Bea tells Bill to park in one of the Curbside Pickup parking spots so he parks in spot number 5. Bea looks at the sign and it says to park, then open the app on your phone that you placed the order on, then click on the I AM HERE button and your food will be delivered to your car in five minutes or less.

Bill:  It has already been five minutes so where the hell is the food?

Bea:  Give them a few minutes more as we ordered a lot of food.

When it reaches the 15 minute mark Bea is the one who is getting upset over the delay of the food delivery. When her phone gives a chime she looks at the McDonald’s application and she reads the message:  THANK YOU FOR YOUR ORDER. . .YOUR FOOD HAS BEEN DELIVERED TO YOUR VEHICLE. . .ENJOY YOUR FOOD.

Bea:  What? I got a text saying thanks for our food order and to enjoy our food and that the food was delivered to our vehicle. No food has been delivered to our vehicle. Maybe they sent the food to another car. I’m going inside to find out what happened.

Bill rolls his eyes when he sees how upset Bea is. If you think Bill gets upset with poor customer service you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen Bea go off on people for poor customer service. Bill knows what the McDonald’s workers are in for. When Bea enters the McDonald’s she notices there are a half dozen workers behind the counter and only two customers inside the restaurant. After nearly ten minutes we see Bea come out with two large bags of food and a cup carrier with four large drinks and she is struggling to carry the order. Bill helps Bea place the food in the car then they start driving home.

Bea:  I can’t believe these assholes at McDonald’s! I told them we drove up 15 minutes ago and clicked on the app to let them know we’re here. I told them the app said our food would be delivered in five minutes or less. I told them the app told us our food was delivered to our car and yet no food was delivered. I told them after 15 minutes I had to come inside the restaurant. I saw that all of the workers were standing around doing nothing even though there were only two customers in the restaurant and they already had their food. The Manager told me she’ll have them get our food ready. When the food was ready they just handed it to me. I gave the Manager my evil look and I told her it isn’t my job to deliver my food to my car at the Curbside Pickup and she and her workers looked at me like I was an alien from another planet. I told them it is their job to deliver the food to my car but they just didn’t care and handed me to food to bring to our car. When we get home I’m filing a complaint with McDonald’s Corporate.

Bill:  You know I’m strict when it comes to customer service and that also carries over to my wrestling career where I demend good performance from opponents. From this point forward I’ll never eat at McDonald’s again. I’ll get food at Wendy’s or Taco Bell instead.

Bill and Bea return home with their food. Iris gives them a look that screams WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG WITH MY FOOD and they laugh at her. They set the food on the dining table and eat dinner.

END OF INCIDENT

DREAM MATCH REPEAT

When the scene comes into focus we see Bill Barnhart sitting in a comfortable chair in the broadcast studio with the cameraman focusing his camera on Bill. Bea is sitting to the right of Bill in case she wishes to say comments during Bill’s presentation.

Bill:  When I signed with Sin City Wrestling in August 2019 I mentioned that there are three matches I would consider to be a fulfillment of Dream Matches for me. One was against Casey Williams to get revenge for him being the first wrestler to hand me a defeat in my home town of Oakland, in my home area of the Bay Area, during a Hardcore Rules match in a Boeing 747 parked at Oakland Airport. The second was a match with Griffin Hawkins as I admire his work and he was a great Roulette Champion. The third was against Fenris as I admire his work ethics and dedication he has put into his work in the sport of wrestling.

Bea:  Please tell the viewers how that match with Fenris went.

Bill:  Going into that match on September 29, 2019, at Climax Control 249, I knew what Fenris was capable of. Even though he was smaller and lighter than me I knew he had great ring presence and could flip a match on an opponent in a flash. I performed well in that match and both of us came close to winning numerous times. Fenris did what he often does and that is to switch things up quickly and reverse the advantage the opponent had and he then had the advantage over me for the win. Did I get upset over the loss. Hell no! I congratulated Fenris on a well-deserved win and hoped that we would meet again one day. I hate it when wrestlers have great talent and waste it by not giving all they’ve got in matches. Fenris didn’t do that against me in that match. He gave it all he had and came out the winner and I admire that. When Fenris left the sport for a time I figured having a second match against him would never happen. Well look here at the Climax Control 288 card and you see that Fenris is back and I have my second Dream Match against him. This match is gonna be beyond enjoyable for me.

THE REASON FENRIS WILL LOSE TO BILL BARNHART

Bea:  Since you are known as the Analogy King please provide your analogy to the viewers.

Bill:  Everyone will agree that a Tarantula is a damn efficient predator and rarely does a foe get away unharmed. However most people don’t know that a Tarantula Hawk Wasp kicks the Tarantula’s ass more times than the Tarantula kicks their ass. I would say the percentage of the Tarantula Hawk Wasp getting the win over the Tarantula is 90 percent while the Tarantula fending off and killing the Tarantula Hawk Wasp is about 10 percent. Damn nice odds for the Tarantula Hawk Wasp when you consider an average Tarantula is from 4 to 11 inches in size compared to an average Tarantula Hawk Wasp of around 2 inches in size.

Bea:  Here’s how it works. The Tarantula Hawk Wasp needs to lay her eggs so her offspring will survive and she needs a Tarantula to do so. She will boldly attack the Tarantula but she is so quick and agile the Tarantula loses 90 percent of the time. She gets a few stings in and the Tarantula is paralyzed but does not die as it is still alive but cannot move as it is paralyzed. The Tarantula Hawk Wasp then drags the paralyzed Tarantula to a hole in the ground, she lays her eggs on the Tarantula. When her babies hatch the eat the Tarantula who knows what is going on as it is alive but paralyzed. That’s gotta be one of the most horrible ways to end your life.

Bill:  You’re probably asking how a small 2 inch Tarantula Hawk Wasp can knock out Tarantulas of 4 to 11 inches and the answer is simple. She is quick to get in and get damage done with her stings. She is quick and agile to get the stings in and back off so the Tarantula cannot grab her and bite her. Yes it really is that simple. The key is staying away from the agility of the Tarantula and getting in and out quickly like the Tarantula Hawk Wasp does to inflict damage. That, my friends, is exactly how I will work in this upcoming match with Fenris. I will get in quickly, inflict damage, and get out quickly, and by doing this over and over again Fenris loses to me. Yes it really is that simple.

TO BE THE MAN, YOU GOTTA BEAT THE MAN

Bill:  One of the most iconic statements ever in the sport of Wrestling is TO BE THE MAN, YOU GOTTA BEAT THE MAN. I’ll not mention the wrestler who made that statement famous as I’m sure you know who it was who made the statement. Fenris I’m sure you feel you are in the same category as the wrestler who made the statement as you also have a stellar record in the sport of Wrestling. I believe that you believe you are the man to be beat in order for the wrestler defeating you to be the man. Only you can answer if that’s what you are thinking. But, Fenris, if that’s what the fans and other wrestlers think then so be it. After our match at Climax Control 288 I will be the man since I beat the man, YOU, by decisively defeating you. Easier said than done you think? Think again because it is easier for me to defeat you than it is for you to prevent me from defeating you. Please remember someone else who left the sport for a time then returned thinking having a match against me was gonna be easy for them. On April 24, 2020, at Climax Control 266, Kris Ryans returned to active status in the wrestling ring. He thought I would be an easy mark but I defeated him by submission with my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold. To this day he still claims I never defeated him. He claims what really happened was that he was bored in the match and threw the match to get it over with. Yeah, right, okay, if you believe that bullshit then I have a great bridge in New York you might like to buy and also some choice swamp land in Florida you may be interested in purchasing. Nah, Fenris, he didn’t throw the match to me. He came back from being out of the sport for a time and thought he still had what it takes to be competitive and I proved that he didn’t. I’m hoping you didn’t make the same mistake of returning to active status in the wrestling ring thinking you haven’t become soft from being inactive. Bea is there anything you wish to say as closing comments?

Bea:  Fenris I’ll be in Bill’s corner as his Manager and I’ there to ensure your match goes according to the rules and that there is no cheating or interference. Keep the match on the level and I’m fine with that. Cheat or have people run in on the match and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

Bill:  Thanks for the closing comments Bea.

Bea:  I could say I wish you the best of luck in your match with Fenris but I already know you don’t need to rely on luck when you have outstanding wrestling abilities.

Bill and Bea inform the Broadcast Studio staff they are done with their comments for today. The Staff works to make a smooth transition from live broadcasting to returning to regularly scheduled programming for this time slot.


93
Climax Control Archives / FACING AN ACCOMPLISHED WRESTLER
« on: December 08, 2020, 12:53:20 PM »
IT IS AN HONOR AND PLEASURE TO FACE AN ACCOMPLISHED WRESTLER BUT. . .

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart is back in action and this time she is facing a wrestler with a very long line of success in the sport of wrestling. However with the success also comes the failures.

The scene shifts to a shot of Bea Barnhart. We assume the location is somewhere in Sam’s Town where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 287 but until Bea informs us that is only a guess. Bea is sitting at a table is what appears to be a coffee shop inside Sam’s Town.

Bea:  Hi and thanks for joining me today. I decided to stop at this coffee shop in Sam’s Town to enjoy some coffee while I present comments for my upcoming match against Mercedes Vargas as Climax Control 287. Mercedes you have an impressive list of accomplishments in the sport of wrestling and I’m not going to try to tarnish your accomplishments as they are valid and in the record books. However, Mercedes, along with your accomplishments you also have many failures. From what I’ve seen lately you’ve been on a bit of a losing streak. I have to be honest and let you know that I would enjoy handing you a loss and putting you out of action as that will boosts me in the rankings. December 13, 2020, is the day your losing streak gets one loss longer as I’m going to win and set myself as the future of the Bombshell Division in Sin City Wrestling.

Bea sips her coffee before continuing her comments.

Bea:  There’s a saying that goes IF SOMEONE GETS OVER ON YOU ONCE SHAME ON THEM. IF THEY GET OVER ON YOU TWICE SHAME ON YOU. We lost to Kris and Mikah, The Black Sheep, twice in Mixed Tag Team matches so shame on us. Laugh all you want Mercedes if you think it is amusing that me and Bill lost those two matches. The fact we give everything we have for all our matches, even the ones we end up losing, means more than bragging about past accomplishments. I mean, come on Mercedes, you are one of those wrestlers who gets on camera, tells everyone you never lose, then you go out and lose the match. You are one of those wrestlers who can only see the matches you’ve won but you are blind to the matches you’ve lost. That’s okay Mercedes because you’ll forever remember the loss I’m going to hand you at Climax Control 287. You obviously think I’m blind and haven’t noticed who you’ve lost to recently and not all of those opponents could be classified at top-notch, top of the line, superior in talent, etc., but still you lost to them. Either your age is catching up to you or you rely so heavily on your past accomplishments that you fail to perform well in the current time.

Bea looks at her watch.

Bea:  You’ll have to excuse me for a short time. I have to get to the other side of Sam’s Town as they have a room set up as a Comedy Club and it is Amateur Hour where non-professional comedians like me can get up on stage and present a few jokes. Thanks for understanding.

There is a break of about 15 minutes which allows Bea time to get from the coffee shop to the area set up as a Comedy Club. Bea takes a seat to wait to be called to perform.

YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND COMEDY TO ENJOY IT

Bea:  Want to know something? Waiting to be called and then to go up on stage and present a few comedy things is more intimidating than stepping into a wrestling ring. Bill is way better at comedy skits than I am but I’ll give it my best shot.

The Emcee of the Comedy Club Amateur Hour steps up to the mic on the stage.

Emcee:  Ladies and gentlemen thank you for coming to this Comedy Club for our Amateur Hour where only amateurs will be called up on the stage to present three items which can be three comedy skits or three one-liners or a combination of both. Remember these are raw amateur comedians so please give them your support.

The Emcee reaches into a large glass bowl and pulls out a name.

Emcee:  Bea Barnhart you are our first amateur contestant in our Amateur Hour competition. Please come up on stage and give us your best.

Bea is surprised she was called first but she also knows that going first in a competition puts the pressure on the contestants that follow her. When Bea arrives at the mic she introduces herself before launching into her comedy thing.

Bea:  My name is Bea Barnhart and I’m married to Sin City Wrestling wrestler Bill Barnhart. I serve as Bill’s Manager for his wrestling matches and I’m also an active wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. On Sunday, December 13, 2020, I face off against Mercedes Vargas in a wrestling match at Climax Control 287 which takes place here at Sam’s Town.

Bea takes a deep breath and goes into her comedy routine.

Bea:  What do you call a fairway short shot golf club that belongs to a wrestler named Kurt? AN ANGLE IRON!

About half the crowd laughs as they are wrestling fans but the other half, apparently knowing little of nothing about wrestling, don’t get the joke.

Bea:  A blind man walks into a department store with his seeing-eye dog on a leash. He stops and picks the dog up by the leash and swings the seeing-eye dog around over his head. The store Manager walks over and asks MAY I HELP YOU FIND SOMETHING SIR? and the blind man says NOPE. I’M JUST LOOKING AROUND.

This time two-thirds of the crowd laughs at the joke.

Bea:  Where does the Star Wars character Chewbacca order his supplies? From Chewy.com

On Bea’s final joke 100 percent of the crowd laughs and applaud her performance.

Bea:  Thank you very much for allowing me to participate in this Amateur Hour comedy thing.

Bea returns to her seat and listens to the other presenters. When the last person finishes their comedy things the Emcee reads off the winner of the event.

Emcee:  It is hard to do stand-up comedy when you are a professional but can you imagine how it feels when you are amateurs like our presenters tonight? It was a tough decision to select one person we felt was above the rest and we selected Bea Barnhart. Please come up and receive your reward.

Bea walks up on the stage and the Emcee presents Bea with $100 cash and a voucher for the Casino where she can play unlimited games in the Casino for one hour at no cost to herself and she gets to keep all the winnings but all the losses are paid by the voucher. Bea steps up to the mic.

Bea:  Wow! I knew my material was good but everyone in this competition had to also know there could only be one winner. That’s how my wrestling match against Mercedes Vargas will go on Sunday. She has more experience in the wrestling ring than I do but when you look at a highly successful wrestler like Mercedes do a death spiral down into the dirt with numerous losses in matches recently you understand why I’ll win this match and set myself up as a top wrestler in Sin City Wrestling.

Bea steps down from the stage and walks out of the room where she meets up with her husband Bill Barnhart in the hallway.

Bill:  How did your Amateur Hour comedy thing go?

Bea:  Better than your Roulette Championship match at Climax Control 286.

Bill:  Good one Bea! Look I can’t be upset at Brother David Shepherd winning the Roulette Championship. We all gave it our best and he came down on the mat with the Championship in his hands. He wrestled the match fully within the rules of the match so there’s nothing I can do but congratulate him on the win.

Bea:  I hope Mercedes has the courage to congratulate me on my win over her on Sunday. I won the amateur comedy thing by the way.

Bill:  So you won the comedy thing? What did you win?

Bea:  I won $100 cash and a voucher that allows me into the casino in Sam’s Town for a full hour to play any of the games I want. I suffer no losses as they are included in the voucher. All the winnings I get during casino play I get to keep.

Bill:  Oooooo! Give me the casino voucher so I can play for free for an hour!

Bea:  Nope! Mine! See you later at our hotel room. I have a casino to visit.

The two enjoy a hearty laugh and then they part with Bea heading for the casino and Bill headed in the opposite direction.

* SHORT BREAK *

* AFTER THE BREAK *

BEA HAS A TALK WITH IRIS

This scene opens with Bill, Bea, and Iris, relaxing in their hotel room. They are watching Animal Planet since that is the favorite program of Iris. They look up to see the cameraman giving them the signal to indicate they are live broadcasting.

Bea:  Iris come here please.

Iris waddles over thinking Mommy Bea is going to give her food but Bea isn’t giving Iris food this time around. This, of course, disappoints the ever-hungry Iris.

Bea:  Sorry, Iris, but this isn’t about food. I need to talk to you because I’m getting concerned about you dating Senor Vinnie’s friend Pete the Cactus.

Iris perks up when she hears the name of Pete the Cactus.

Bea:  Recently Pete was rude to Senor Vinnie and I’m worried Pete may get ruse and abusive to you.

Bill:  Whoa! Let’s stop that line of thought right now! That’s not what happened Bea. Senor Vinnie was stressing and he was hallucinating. Pete didn’t do anything bad to Vinnie as he was actually trying to lend emotional support but Vinnie thought Pete went off the deep end of the psychological pool. Therefore Pete won’t do anything bad to Iris. As protective of Iris as I am that should tell you I’m not going to misinterpret the recent interaction between Senor Vinnie and Pete.

Bea:  I wish you had told me that before I made a public comment against Pete the Cactus. If you’re watching Pete I’m sorry I misunderstood what happened. Forget about our conversation Iris. You can continue dating Pete but at the first sign that he’s abusing you and you two are cut off from seeing each other.

Iris seems annoyed that Mommy Bea interrupted her favorite Animal Planet program to make false accusations against her boyfriend Pete the Cactus and even more annoyed that after the conversation Mommy Bea didn’t give her any snacks. Iris returns in front of the television to finish watching her program.

SAY ALL THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS YOU WANT. . .ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

Bea laughs at the attitude of Iris but she realizes that the doggy brain of Iris is limited in comprehension abilities.

Bea:  I’m sick of other wrestlers claiming I have no talent. I came from being a raw green rookie to where I’m at today which is holding my own in the Bombshell and Mixed Tag Team Divisions. Nearly everyone in the sport of wrestling started as a raw green rookie and gained experience to where they were successful. That is unless they were born into a well-known wrestling family, and usually their family members were also the Promoters or Management of those federations, so they skewed the results of matches to benefit their raw green rookie no-talent family members.

Iris pauses watching Animal Planet to see if Mommy Bea has food for her yet. Not seeing any food Iris lets out a snort before returning to watching Animal Planet.

Bea:  Mercedes you fit perfectly into the mold of the wrestlers who disrespect me since I’m fairly new to the sport of wrestling. You laugh and mock those of us who give all we have in every match. Whether I win or lose a match I stand proud that I performed well. Never once have you heard me falsely brag that I’ve never lost a match. What about you Mercedes? It seems, to me anyone, that whenever you get in front of the camera to talk about an upcoming match you claim you never lose wrestling matches. Although I don’t know your career Win-Loss record I know since I’ve been in Sin City Wrestling you’ve managed to lose a lot of matches you should have won. Don’t come into our match at Climax Control 287 and claim you have never lost matches because all that does is make you a liar.

Bea pauses and quietly goes into the kitchen area and returns with a bowl of food for Iris. She sets it down next to Iris and when Iris smells the food she shoves her face into the bowl to enjoy the snacks.

Bea:  Mercedes you cannot go over all my matches and claim that I performed poorly in any of them. In every match I performed at my best and came close to winning. Yes I know that close only counts in Horseshoes and Hand Grenades but at least I can stand proud that I performed at my best in every match I’ve been in. Unlike you who claims to be the undefeated queen of wrestling, then you lose a match or two or three, I go into every match, perform at my best, and whether I obtain a win or a loss I stand proud of my performance. I hope you have in your vocabulary the following words:  BEA CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WIN OVER ME TONINGHT! because if you were to win I would congratulate you. See you on Sunday. Be ready for the fight of your career! And trust me that the beating you’ll receive at my hands will transform you from a Mercedes to a Yugo!

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bea informs the cameraman she is done with her comments and he cuts his camera feed and our screen goes black.


94
Climax Control Archives / A WRESTLING MATCH IS MORE FUN AS A FATAL FOURWAY
« on: December 03, 2020, 04:03:08 PM »
A WRESTLING MATCH IS MORE FUN AS A FATAL FOURWAY

Narrator:  Before I turn you over to Bill Barnhart for his comments on his upcoming Roulette Championship match, which is a Fatal Fourway, I want to let you know what Bill has informed me that he is more than ready for this match. With that said I now turn you over to Bill Barnhart at the Gold Coast Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada, where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 286.

PRESS CONFERENCE

The scene switches and we are taken to the Conference Room at the Gold Coast Casino where there is a Press Conference being held. The people in attendance are murmuring as they have not been told what the Press Conference is about or who is presenting information. They stop murmuring when a side door opens and Bill and Bea Barnhart walk into the Conference Room, up the steps to the stage, where they walk toward the podium to give a presentation. Bill is dressed in a dark gray business suit, white shirt, black shoes, and a tie that matches the color of his suit. Bea is wearing her trademark blue dress she wears when attending Bill to the ring to serve as his Manager and she is wearing black heels. The crowd starts murmuring again but Bill speaks into the microphone.

Bill:  Stop talking and murmuring. This is our presentation so you need to keep silent or I’ll ask Security to remove you from the Conference Room.  If you can’t understand that simple concept then you can stand up and leave now.

The crowd quiets down and nobody gets up to leave. Satisfied he has made his point Bill continues.

Bill:  The year 2020 up to today wasn’t great for me and I openly admit that fact. Having worked in other wrestling federations where I was very successful and held many Championships 2020 wasn’t to be that way in Sin City Wrestling. You would expect a newbie to wrestling, like Bea, to not have earned any Championships their first year in the wrestling ring but for someone like me, with 19 years of wrestling under my belt, you don’t expect to see a year go by without holding Championship Gold.

Bea:  Although other women would take offense at Bill’s comment that newbies to the sport of wrestling cannot expect to earn a Championship their first year in the business. I don’t take offense to his comment as it is true. I’m performing well in the ring but a lot of my losses were my fault when I allowed myself to be distracted and opponents took advantage of the distraction.

Bill:  So now it comes to this. I’ve decided since we’ve not been able to earn Championships yet in 2020 then maybe, just maybe, we should retire from the sport of wrestling.

The crowd erupts into a loud roar of murmuring, loud denials that they would go into retirement, and some have stormed out of the Conference Room at the announcement. Bill starts laughing loudly.

Bill:  HA HA HA!!! HO HO HO!!! HAR HAR HAR!!! You suckers fell for it! That’s hilarious! Myself and Bea are not going into retirement. Not this year. Not next year. Not any time in the future. Since I’m assigned to a Fatal Four Way for Climax Control 286, and the winner of the match becomes the newly crowned Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion, I’m going to prove to you that I came into Sin City Wrestling to earn Championships and I’ll be crowned Roulette Champion at Climax Control 286. What a hell of a way to go out of the year 2020 and move into the year 2021 as Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion. Both of us are going to storm the year 2021, kick everyone’s ass, we’ll attempt to earn every Championship available this year.

Bea:  Everyone in Sin City Wrestling has just been warned what we’re going to do. If you want to stop us you damn well better step up your game several levels as we’re going to dominate Sin City Wrestling from here out.

Bill:  Everyone in Sin City Wrestling is on notice. Nobody is exempt from our wrath. Nobody is immune from being scheduled for a match with us, either individually or in Mixed Tag Team, so you have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide!

Bea:  As everyone knows Bill has a Fatal Four Way match at Climax Control 286 for the vacated Roulette Championship. We will not address that match at this time. We will address Bill’s match at another time from another location.

Bill:  Thanks for attending our Press Conference. We suckered you to believe we wanted to retire from wrestling and you took the bait. Damn I wish you all could have seen the stupid looks on your faces!

Bill and Bea turn away from the podium, walk across the stage, down the steps, across the room, and exit through the same door where they entered the Conference Room earlier. The door closes behind them and the murmuring from the crowd still inside the Conference Room gets so loud you cannot hear yourself think.

MISUNDERSTANDINGS HAPPEN

Bill and Bea are at their room in a hotel near the Gold Coast Casino. The two are relaxing and watching television with their English Bulldog Iris when Bill feels the urge.

Bill:  Please excuse me you two. I’m feeling an urge and I need to run to the bathroom to do my duty…or I guess you can say do my doodie…ha ha ha!

Bea rolls her eyes.

Bea:  I don’t think me and Iris and the viewers needed to know that information. Just go and do your thing.

Bill gets up and walks to the bathroom closing the door behind him. All is quiet for a fair amount of time then. . .

Bill:  Arrrggghhh!!! What the *bleep!* Get out! Get out from me! Get the hell out of here and leave me alone! I said get out now!!!

Bea and Iris perk up and wonder what in the world is going on with Bill in the bathroom. They don’t want to think about a specific item, as it could be anything involved, but he is in the bathroom so of  course they lean toward that specific item. Both are scared to approach the bathroom door and ask Bill if he is okay and if he needs assistance.

Bill:  Grrr!!! Grunt!!! Mumble!!! I said get out! Get out and away from me and leave me alone!!!

Bea cannot take more of this so she gets up and runs to the bathroom to find out what is happening to Bill. She opens the bathroom door and fortunately the Network blurs out key parts of the video so the viewers don’t get more than they expected. When Bea looks into the bathroom she is surprised that Bill is still fully dressed, not doing his duty as he went into the bathroom to do, and she sees him swatting at something on the sink with one of the hand towels.

Bea:  Bill? What the hell are you doing?

Bill:  I came into the bathroom to do my duty and before I could start anything this nasty dirty spider started crawling across the sink. You know I detest spiders so I’m trying to swat it and kill it with this hand towel then hopefully I can flush it down the toilet. Instead of standing there gawking you could help me eliminate the spider.

Bea rolls her eyes then she grabs a few sheets of toilet paper, snags the spider in the toilet paper, then drops it into the toilet and flushes it. Both watch as the spider goes down for the count.

Bill:  Thanks for the help. You make it look easy.

Bea:  Why are you afraid of spiders?

Bill:  It goes back to when I was in the Boy Scouts. I was 10 or 11 years old then. We went on a camping trip and my father brought our family tent for the Scouts in my group to sleep in. We all had cots that we placed our sleeping bags on. During the night I had to pee so I got out of my sleeping bag and turned on a light. When I looked around the inside of the tent there had to be at least a 100 to 200 spiders, hell it could have been 500 spiders, crawling around inside the tent. I freaked out knowing had I not gotten up to pee maybe I would have woke up in the morning covered in spiders and bites. I ran out of the tent so fast I think I broke the sound barrier. From that night until today I detest spiders.

Bea:  Okay. That’s a valid explanation why you hate spiders but next time just call me to come into the room to get rid of the spider for you okay?

Bill:  Thanks!

FATAL FOURWAY FOR ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP

The scene changes and this time we get a shot of Bill and Bea Barnhart in a broadcast studio set up for wrestlers to air comments. Bill is in very casual attire while Bea is dressed about half way between casual and formal. The two are sitting at a desk opposite a commentator who will be asking them questions. Then the crew in the studio inform them they are live broadcasting the presentation begins.

Commentator:  Today I have Bill and Bea Barnhart in the broadcast studio. I will ask them questions and they will respond to those questions. I need to let you two know that some of the questions were submitted by viewers and fans and the remaining questions are mine. Are you ready?

Bill:  I’m always ready.

Bea:  Me too.

Commentator:  This question is for Bill and it is from a viewer. Were you surprised to see your name included for the Main Event Fatal Fourway for the vacated Roulette Championship?

Bill:  I’m one of those wrestlers who doesn’t run around demanding shots at Championships. I leave that decision to Management. As far as the Fatal Fourway match is concerned having three opponents, instead of one opponent as with a Singles match, simply makes the match three times as much fun for me.

Commentator:  This question is mine and it is for Bill. Your opponents are Kedron Williams, Stephen Callaway, and Brother David Shepherd. Any concerns with your opponents?

Bill:  I never have a concern with any opponents as I’m capable of handling myself and winning matches against anyone. I will answer your question with specific information as I feel the viewers are entitled to know.  At Climax Control 245 pm August 1, 2019, I defeated Kedron Williams by submission with my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold. Then at Climax Control 278 I defeated Stephen Callaway by submission also with my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold. Those two scrawny pencil-necked geeks were easy to knock them out.

Commentator:  Don’t you feel that a Sleeper Hold that knocks an opponent out should be banned as a choke hold?

Bill:  Nope. When you choke someone you usually squeeze or try to choke off their oxygen intake from their breathing. When I apply my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold I am not compressing or crushing their throat. I’m simply reducing the blood flow to their brain. If they fight going unconscious instead of submitting then they go unconscious and I win.

Commentator:  Bill you seem to be taking Kedron Williams lightly. You are aware that Kedron Williams earned the Roulette Championship from O’Malley which is not an easy accomplishment. Then it was Mac Bane that defeated Kedron Williams for the Roulette Championship at High Stakes X. You need to remember that past success against an opponent doesn’t mean you are guaranteed success against that same opponent in the future.

Bill:  I’ll give credit to Kedron Williams for defeating O’Malley but when you obtain a Championship and lost is less than 30 days later then you suck. My previous success against those two does, in fact, equate into success for me in matches against them specifically the Fatal Fourway for the Roulette Championship.

Commentator:  I agree with your comments on holding a Championship for less than 30 days but the fact is that he has held a Championship and you have yet to do so.

Bill:  That’s what this match is about at Climax Control 286. I’m in this Fatal Fourway match and I will be crowned the next Roulette Champion. And before you ask Stephen Callaway has been in some good and tough matches but he only has bruises and cuts to show for it. As far as Brother David Shepherd goes no punk ass cheater is going to deny me becoming the next Roulette Champion.

Commentator:  I know the match is listed as a Fatal Fourway which means the first wrestler to obtain a pinfall or submission on any of the other wrestlers in the match is the winner but what if they were to throw into this match some form of a Roulette Rules item that adds stipulations to the Fatal Fourway concept?

Bill:  If they did that it would simply add more amusement for the match and make it more enjoyable for me to participate in the match and win the Roulette Championship.

Commentator:  Wow! Talk about a confident wrestler! This next question is from a viewer and they want both of you to answer their question. The wrestler in this match you have not previously faced is Brother David Shepherd. Bill the viewer wants to know from you as a wrestler in this match what you are thinking about Brother David and Bea they want to know what you, as Bill’s Manager in his corner, think about the match.

Bill:  Brother David is just another wrestler. He’s nothing special. He is, however, a coward cheater as he proved against O’Malley. This was such an easy question from a viewer. I’m going to easily win this match and become the next Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion.

Bea:  I’m in Bill’s corner as his Manager for the majority of his matches. When I go back and review Brother David’s match against O’Malley and I see how he loaded a foreign object into his Good Book, then whacked O’Malley with it, and hit him with a low blow, and grabbed the wrestling trunks for leverage. Cheating like that is not tolerated by me. I’m in Bill’s corner to ensure the Referee assigned to the match does their job correction and prohibits cheating from Bill’s opponents.

Commentator:  We seemed to have goon longer on our air time than I expected to do and I apologize to the broadcast studio and to you Bill and Bea. However I’ve just been informed that both of you are being given several minutes of air time to make closing comments concerning our broadcast today. Go ahead when you are ready.

Bea looks into the camera and makes the first closing comments.

Bea:  I often run into people who are so damn irritating that you want to slap them into the next galaxy. Brother David fits into that category. The coward has to cheat for a win and then he runs around bragging he was able to defeat O’Malley. Wrestlers like Brother David often have short wrestling careers because their cheating quickly catches up with them.

The camera shifts to Bill is now looking into the camera.

Bill:   I appreciate your comment on irritating people Bea. I also run across many people in my life that are so stupid, so ignorant, so incompetent, that I have to ask myself how the hell these people make it to the next day in addition to making it to their next birthday.

Bea:  Probably they are related to the stupid, ignorant, and incompetent people I run across all the time.

Bill:  Could be. For sure the Three Stooges I’m assigned to wrestle in Kedron Williams, Brother David Shepherd, and Stephen Callaway, are three fools I’m going to take out to the trash dumpster.

Bea:  Bill you’re going to make a fantastic Roulette Champion.

Bill:  Yeah. . .I know.

THE BOTTOM LINE

It is later in the day and we return to the room of Bill and Bea at a hotel near the Gold Coast Casino. Bill is casual in khaki shorts, a brown pullover shirt, and flip flops. Bea is also casual in leggings and a pink tee-shirt and she is barefoot. The cameraman informs the two that they have been given several minutes of air time to send a message, to give the BOTTOM LINE, to Bill’s three opponents.

Bill:  I’m not going to stand in front of the camera and hurl stupid insults and call my opponents stupid names. I can stand in my wrestling abilities so I don’t need derogatory and stupid name calling insults to make my point. Also I don’t wish to directly address any of my opponents directly and by name. Why? Because I don’t have a need to talk directly to each of them. I don’t want them to feel like they are important enough for me to mention their names numerous times. They know they suck compared to me. They know they cannot defeat me. They know they are going to lose this match to me. Damn! I feel like I’m assigned to wrestle Shemp, Curly, and Larry of The Three Stooges and I’m Moe punching and slapping and kicking them to keep them in their place. That’s all they need to know. The rest of my talking will be done in the wrestling ring on Sunday, December 6, 2020.

Bea:  My closing comments are milder than Bill’s but still I need to make my point. I’m not in Bill’s corner as his Manager to interfere in this match. I’m in Bill’s corner to ensure the match is called fairly and that his opponents don’t try to cheat or have interference in the match to try to get a cheap win. This is Bill’s night to shine as the new Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion and I won’t allow anyone to ruin that for us.

Bill and Bea have finished their closing comments and the cameraman cuts his feed and the Network cuts to regularly scheduled programming.


95
Climax Control Archives / WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD?
« on: November 04, 2020, 06:17:12 PM »
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD?

Narrator:  Too bad Bill Barnhart lost his match against Caleb Storms because he and Bea are going to face the Mixed Tag Team Champions at High Stakes X and it always sucks going into a Championship match coming off a loss. Bea told me she plans on winning her match against Seleana Zdunich at Climax Control 285 so that will allow her to enter the Mixed Tag Team Championship match coming off a win.

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS

We go back in time to relive an incident where Bea brought Bill to see Miss Starzz who is a Psychic and Fortune Teller. The two walk into Miss Starzz establishment and although the place is a bit creepy they don’t see Miss Starzz. The time on the clock is nearing 10:00 a.m. and their appointment with Miss Starzz is at 10:00 a.m. so they expect to see Miss Starzz soon. Bill and Bea walk around waiting to find out what will happen next.

Bill:  Bea why did you bring me to a Fortune Teller and Psychic? You know I feel these people are scammers and are only out to take our money. They try to trick you into revealing information so they can slightly come close to telling you something they didn’t know previously. Nobody knows what the future holds.

Bea:  Oh, Bill, you’re always so negative on others. Let’s give Miss Starzz a chance. Even if she falls flat on her face and fails at least we had some entertainment value out of the experience.

The clock strikes 10:00 a.m. and a woman who is oddly dressed comes out of the back room and Bill and Bea assume she is Miss Starzz.

Miss Starzz:  Hi! I am Miss Starzz. Who might you two be?

Bill rolls his eyes, lets out a sigh, then spins around to face Bea.

Bill:  *SIGH!* See, Bea, I told you so! Listen up Miss Starzz if your’re really a Psychic and Fortune Teller, and you know and see everything, why the hell don’t you know who we are since we’re in your appointment book for this time slot?

Miss Starzz is not fazed by Bill’s question and doubt. She walks over to her desk, flips through the appointment book, looks at the 10:00 a.m. slot, then she addresses Bill and Bea.

Miss Starzz:  You must be Bill and Bea Barnhart!

Bill:  Oh, yeah, right! You didn’t have a friggin’ clue who the hell we were until you looked into your appointment book. Let’s get the hell out of here Bea! I’m not going to waste our time and money on this scammer!

Bea:  I’m sorry Miss Starzz. Here is $20 for your time. Sorry.

Bill snags the $20 out of Bea’s hand as he is not about to reward someone for being a fake and a scammer. He then grabs Bea by the hand and drags her out of Miss Starzz’s establishment and into the street.

Bea:  I wish you would try to have fun with stuff like Miss Starzz. Oh well what is done is done.

As Bill and Bea walk down the street to their car the scene fades out.

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD?

The scene comes back on our screen and we see Bea Barnhart taking a walk in Pueblo Park which is about ten miles from the Gold Coast Casino in Las Vegas. Bea is wearing light blue stretch pants, white athletic shoes, and a white pullover shirt. She looks into the camera to comment on her upcoming match with Seleana Zdunich.

Bea: Thanks for joining me as I take a walk in the park. Bill and Iris aren’t with me. Bill would like to come on walks and hikes with me but Iris is a drag chute as the only exercise she’s excited about is diving into a food bowl full of food. Bill decided to stay at the hotel with Iris while I walk in the park to present comments for my upcoming match against Seleana Zdunich.

Bea continues walking for a bit before resuming her comments.

Bea:  Seleana as I read the comments on our match it states we both have possible Championship matches in our future but there are some things going on. The winner of our match will pretty much be guaranteed to receive a Championship match in the near future. The loser will be sent to the bottom of the ladder of success to earn their way back into Championship contention. Now, Seleana, I’m not going to stand before the camera and say you suck as you do have a little bit of success in Sin City Wrestling. I see your name listed as the Bombshell Champion and I also noticed you held that Championship for a mere fifteen days. DAMN!!! For someone who managed to earn a Championship, and the top one at that, you obviously didn’t take owning the Championship seriously only to lose it fifteen days late. I also saw you held the Bombshell Roulette Championship for around three months. That’s a bit better as it isn’t easy to retain the Roulette Championship but still you lost it in three month’s time. When I obtain Championships I won’t treat them like used toilet paper and flush them down the toilet like you did. I take earning a Championship seriously.

Bea rounds a curve on the trail and she comes to a fork in the trail and she takes the trail to the right.

Bea:To be honest, Seleana, you and others on the Roster insulted me when I came into the sport as a rookie. Well this formerly rookie is now winning matches and advancing in the Championship challenge category. You, on the other hand, previously had success with possessing Championships, even if for only a short time, but recently. . .well. . .you suck. But here’s the deal. Those like you who were formerly successful are now sucking big time. Those like me who came into the sport as a rookie are now seasoned and winning matches and getting shots at Championships. Please allow me to enlighten you using examples from this current NFL season. A once great NFL team the Atlanta Falcons are now 2-6-0 this current season. A perennial losing team the Cleveland Browns are currently 5-3-0 this current season.  Just as you, Selena, were once winning more than losing it appears you are now losing more than winning. I admit I didn’t win many matches when I started out in the sport of wrestling but I’m winning more than I’m losing now. Straight up your ass is mine in this match. The tables are turned and I’m the face of the future of the Bombshell Division. Your future is to go into early retirement while my future is to own the Bombshell Division.

Bea comes to another fork in the trail and she realizes the first time she went to the right at the first fork in the trail that the trail she was on looped back and connected back to the first fork in the trail she came to. She shrugs her shoulders and continues on the original trail to return to where she started her walk.

CLOSING COMMENTS ON THE CLOSING CAREER OF SELEANA ZDUNICH

Bea:  I’d like to use an analogy to help you understand why you’ll lose to me and why you’ll go into retirement and hopefully never be heard from again. The analogy I have for you is that of people who try singing Karaoke when they have absolutely no singing talent. Some people are so bad at singing when they sing Karaoke they are so far off key that they’re on the opposite side of the planet from the Florida Keys which would place them off the coast of Western Australia. That sums up the end of your wrestling career Seleana.

Bea burst out in uncontrollable laughter which causes others in Pueblo Park to stop and stare. When Bea continues laughing and glares at those people they turn away and quickly walk as fast as they can away from her.

Bea:  Remember this Seleana. You’re desperate to start winning again and I’m confortable winning more than I lose. Desperate wrestlers make desperate mistakes which makes them lose. I know you have family and friends in Sin City Wrestling so I hope you’ll tell them to stay away from our match or you all will wish you were burning in Hell than to have to deal with me! Happy losing loser!

Bea arrives at the entrance to the park. She turns to the cameraman to inform him she is done with her comments on her upcoming match and she asks the cameraman to turn off his camera. He does so and the screen goes black.


96
Climax Control Archives / CALEB STORMS AGAIN?
« on: October 27, 2020, 10:58:36 AM »
CALEB STORMS AGAIN?

Narrator:  Welcome to my opening comments on today’s presentation by Bill Barnhart. It appears Bill has the pleasure of facing off against Caleb Storms again. I don’t wish to step on Bill’s comments so I’ll stop and let you hear what Bill has to say.

We tune in with Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, relaxing in their hotel room located near the Park Theater in Las Vegas, Nevada. Both are casually dressed while Iris, as always, is wearing her pink diamond-studded dog collar. When the cameraman informs them they are live broadcasting they begin their comments.

Bill:  Before I launch into comments concerning my upcoming match against Caleb Storms I’d like to say CONGRATULATIONS Bea on your fourth win in four matches against Violet Amelia Holt! HIGH FIVE!!!

Bill and Bea jump in the air and HIGH FIVE while off the ground and then they land and return to sitting on the couch.

Bill:  Would you like to say something to Violet?

Bea:  Damn right I have something to say to her! Violet you ran your mouth again at Climax Control 283 and I shut your mouth when I tossed you into the Coffin, slammed the lid, and locked you inside of it for the win. You stated you’re a better wrestler than me yet you lost to me FOUR times in FOUR matches. You claimed you’ve had more top matches than me and maybe you have but I don’t keep track of the matches others have unless those matches are leading up to them having a match against me. The fact remains that you’ve lost to me four times in four matches which means I’m better than you and always will be. Thanks for allowing me to make comments Bill.

Bill:  You deserve it for how you owned Violet again.

INCIDENTS WHERE BILL GREW UP AS A CHILD

Bill:  Growing up at the house at 4263 Saint Andrews Road in Oakland, California, was interesting. Our house wasn’t large by square feet of living space at 1,700 square feet but it did have a yard about 2 acres in size. Behind our home was the Oak Knoll Naval Hospital facility which was later renamed Oakland Naval Hospital. When us kids jumped over our back fence we were on the Naval Hospital property. We often snuck into the living facilities for Sailors stationed there. Back then they had beer vending machines and for 50 Cents you could purchase a beer like you purchase a soda from a vending machine. Yeah we got caught several times but the Sailors were nice and let us go with a mild warning.

Bill laughs out loud at remembering those adventures.

Bill:  There was an interesting interaction between my father and our neighbor next door. My father was noise attentive and he was referred to as a “light sleeper” meaning the slightest noise would wake him up from his sleep. The neighbor next door at 4301 Saint Andrews Road had chickens he kept in coups (cages) in his backyard and he had a Rooster that was free roaming. That damn Rooster would start crowing before sunrise and this was often around 3 to 4 a.m. and it would wake up my father. One day my father had enough and he went next door to talk to the neighbor. The neighbor complained about my father complaining about his Rooster and told my father the Rooster was his pet. My father replied, “DAMN! Then put him in a cage and have him sleep in your bedroom, or under your bed, so that he will wake you up instead of me!” After that incident I don’t remember hearing the Rooster crowing and disturbing my father again. I never found out what happened to that Rooster and I honestly don’t want to know.

Bill picks up a can of Classic Coke, pops the top, downs the soda, then crumples the can and tosses it across the room where it lands neatly in the trash can.

DON’T FORGET YOUR PAST

Bill:  Caleb do you remember our first match? It was at Climax Control 247 and it was a Rock & Street Fight Roulette Rules match. I won by pinfall in case your memory doesn’t go back that far. Now you signed on for a match against me at Climax Control 284? Apparently you didn’t learn your lesson from Climax Control 247 so I have to school you again. By the way, Caleb, are you familiar with the Norwegian term UFF DA? I’ll explain it to you so there is no misunderstanding on your part. There is a saying, or exclamation if you want to call it that, in Norway and the saying is UFF DA! To give you an idea how the saying is used it means a variety of things including shit, damn, crap, d’oh, etc. If the cartoon character Charlie Brown was Norwegian instead of uttering GOOD GRIEF he would utter UFF DA! One time I went with a friend of mine, who was Norwegian by heritage, to a meeting of the Scandinavian Club. Although it consisted of members from all Scandinavian countries the main speaker for this particular event was Norwegian. He gave all the standard definitions that UFF DA could be translated into but his final definition of the term, or exclamation UFF DA, was classic. He said “Imagine you’re trying to carry ten gallons of shit in a five gallon bucket. Now that’s UFF DA!!!”

Bill lets out a hearty laugh before downing another can of Classic Coke.

Bill:  Caleb you know by now that me and Bea are going to be facing The Black Sheep for the Mixed Tag Team Championship at High Stakes X. I won’t go into the reasons for the attack by me and Bea at Climax Control 283 except to say all the crap being said about us pissed us off and we took action and we let our pent up steam out during the last show. Not like we haven’t been attacked by nearly everyone on the Roster so all I’ll say about that incident at Climax Control 283 is that shit happens. So, Caleb, you apparently have the goal to defeat me in our match so that when High Stakes X rolls around I won’t be coming off a win when going into our Mixed Tag Team Championship match. Nice try Caleb but remember Climax Control 247 and the results of that match as you’ll repeat your loss to me at Climax Control 284.

Bill pauses his comments for a moment then continues.

Bill:  Caleb you’re one of those wrestlers who challenges everyone and loses more often than you win. You insult people, attack people, threaten people, but most of your opponents hand you your ass on a platter and you walk away with another loss on your record. Our match at Climax Control 284 won’t be different for you as you’ll lose to me again. I’m sure you’re hoping that Kris and Mikah, or their friends, will show up at the ring and interfere in our match by attacking me and Bea. If that happens so be it. The Referee will disqualify you for having interference in the match and you will still take a loss to me.

Bill smiles into the camera.

Bill:  Caleb I want you to remember the stories I told about my childhood growing up at 4263 Saint Andrews Road in Oakland, California. I told you that us kids would hop our back fence and trespass on the Naval Hospital facility and purchase beer from their vending machines. I told you the Sailors who caught us were nice and let us go with just a warning. Trust me when I tell you that you’re trespassing on my space of being a talented, desired, admired, and accomplished wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. I’ll catch you like I did at Climax Control 247 but I will not be nice and let you go with a warning. Nope. I’ll beat your ass so badly you’ll wish you had gone into retirement before having this match with me. Then once I dispose of you, like our neighbor on Saint Andrews Road disposed of his Rooster and we never heard from the Rooster again, we’ll never hear from you again. Hate to be the one to tell you this, Caleb, but just as Bea outright owns Violet Amelia Holt I, Bill Barnhart, outright owns you! See you at Climax Control 284.

Bill and Bea wave to the camera which is their signal to the cameraman to cut his camera feed. When he does the screen goes dark for a short time and then the Network puts up the regularly scheduled programming for this time slot.


97
Climax Control Archives / I'll Make Violet Amelia Holt Submit To Me Again
« on: October 22, 2020, 11:59:55 AM »
I WILL MAKE VIOLET AMELIA HOLT SUBMIT AGAIN

Narrator:  Holy *bleep* I’m glad I’m on Bea Barnhart’s side and not on her bad side like Violet Amelia Holt is! Bea told me she was shocked at what Violet Amelia Holt said, on camera, at Climax Control 282, that Bea never got a submission victory and for sure not three submission victories over here and Bea is ready to comment on Violet’s comments. Damn! This is gonna be brutal!

FALSE ACCUSATIONS

We are taken back to when Bea Barnhart was attending College in Manila, Philippines. As a young and very attractive young woman the other female students resorted to lies about Bea to try to improve their status in the world. The worst thing they did was spread rumors that Bea was very EASY when it came so giving up her body to the boys even though she never did that. One thing Bea hated the most was being falsely accused of things. As always Bea took matters into her hands and exposed the mean girls for being the ones who were easy for the boys to have sex with and that they lied about her. When that truth came out about those other girls the College asked the mean girls who lied about Bea to leave the College and never return.

MEDITATION

We see Bea walking ahead of Bill down the street while holding Bill’s hand. Bea is walking quickly while pulling on Bill’s hand that he is having a hard time keeping up with her.

Bill:  Will you please slow down! Where are you in such a hurry to go? Where are you taking me?

Bea:  We’re going to a meditation class and it starts in a few minutes and I don’t want to miss anything!

Bill:  Isn’t meditation supposed to make you calm and relaxed? Then why are you excited and nervous?

Bea:  Oh, Bill, stop teasing me!

Bea and Bill arrive at the location where the meditation class is being held and they arrive in time to be there when the session starts.

Bill:  This is stupid! Why did you bring me here? This is almost as bad as the time you brought me to Miss Starzz the Psychic for a reading. She was so pathetic when she came out of the back room she asked us who we were. If she was a true Psychic and she also had our names written down for an appointment at that time, but still had to ask us who we were that’s pathetic.

Bea:  Just follow their directions and you’ll be fine.

Meditation Instructor:  People always ask how you meditate with an OM sound. While you inhale and exhale, chant OM to where you fit the chant to your breath duration rather than breathing to the chant. Break down the OM syllable to sound line A-A-U-U-M followed by silence and back again. Say the first two syllables with your mouth opened widely and the next two by pursing your lips together. Got it?

Bill:  No I don’t get it!

Bea:  Shhh! Just flow with it and relax.

Bill:  I want to flow into the nearest Pizza restaurant and relax with a pepperoni pizza and Classic Coke!

Bea:  Shhh!!!

The meditation session starts and people start doing the chant and Bill decides to chime in.

Bill:  OHHHHMMMMM!!!

Bea:  Bill! It isn’t OHM like the measurement in electrical terms. It is A-A-U-U-M. Try it again like this. A-A-U-U-M. . .

Bill:  This is DUM-MM-MM-BBBBB DU-UM-BAH!!!

The meditation instructor is frustrated that Bill keeps disrupting the session so they ask Bill and Bea to leave the facility and they do.

Bea:  Bill you frustrate me at times. You should just try to have fun with stuff like the meditation session.

Bill:  I have fun eating pepperoni pizza and drinking Classic Coke not sitting on the floor chanting a silly word.

Bea:  Whatever.

This scene ends and we switch over to a shot of the wrestling ring at Sam’s Town in Las Vegas, Nevada. Bea is standing in front of the wrestling ring and she is wearing faded blue jeans, black athletic shoes, and a black pullover shirt. She looks into the camera and launches into her comments.

LIARS WILL ALWAYS BE LIARS BUT I’LL BEAT THE TRUTH INTO THEM

Bea:  Violet! What in the *bleep* was that moronic bullshit you spewed forth at Climax Control 282? Violet you’re delusional and insane! First let me run a short video clip of what you said at Climax Control 282 so that you’ll not be able to claim you never said those things. You have taken a submission loss to me in three out of three matches and yet you stood before the camera and stated you never lost a wrestling match to me by submission.

The anger on Bea’s face after having Violet lie about their matches is obvious.

Bea:  Violet you went in front of the camera at Climax Control 282 to claim that you never lost by submission to me. Shall we examine the facts instead of your fiction? I’m going to run down my submission wins over you in both English and Tagalog, my native language in the Philippines, just to make sure you have me tell you in two languages. January 5, 2020, at Climax Control 256 the official decision by the Referee was that you, Violet, submitted to my Sleeping Pill Sleeper Hold. The Referee called it a submission win for me over you and Justin Decent announced my submission win over you. That is submission loss ONE which in Tagalog is ISA you took against me.  February 16, 2020, at My Bloody Valentine, we were involved in a Fans Bring The Weapons Roulette match for Number One Contendership for Bombshell Roulette Championship and I made you submit by applying my The Pretzel Figure Four Leg Lock on you. Again the Referee called it a submission win for me over you and Justin Decent announced my submission win over you. That was submission loss TWO which in Tagalog is DALAWA you took against me. Then, since the third time is the charm, our third match was on May 10, 2020, at Climax Control 268. At that event me and Bill defeated your daddy, Dustin Holt, and you, in a Mixed Tag Team match when I locked in my Sleeping Pill Sleeper Hold for the submission. For the third time, in our third match, the Referee called it a submission win for me over you and Justin Decent announced my submission win over you. That, Miss Holt, is submission loss THREE which in Tagalog is TATLO you took against me. ONE. . .ISA. . .TWO. . .DALAWA. . .THREE. . .TATLO!  Coming to you at Climax Control 283 on Sunday, October 25, 2020, your submission loss FOUR. . .APAT to me!

Bea lets out a sigh of frustration due to having other wrestlers lie.

Bea:  Listen up little Miss Liar Pants you got your ass handed to you, by submission, by me, three out of three matches we’ve had against each other. The facts prove that in three matches against me you tapped out, or passed out, and submitted in the matches for a total of three times. And then you had the nerve to stand in front of the camera, and the fans, at Climax Control 282 and claim that I never made you submit in any of our matches? Not only are you a pathetic piece of shit wrestler you’re also a pathetic piece of shit liar! And this time you can’t claim you didn’t say those things at Climax Control 282 because it is forever on video for everyone to view and hear and I challenge everyone to review our three matches at those three events and see for themselves that I took you out by submission three times.

We can tell Bea is so upset at Violet’s lying she’s ready to kick ass on her again.

I WILL MAKE VIOLET AMELIA HOLT SUBMIT AGAIN

Bea:  Violet we will not know what the rules and stipulations of our match will be until we arrive at the ring at Climax Control 283. I don’t give a shit what our match stipulations, or rules, or no rules are, I’m going to beat you into submission for a fourth time. I hate liars and you managed to get me to hate you three times over for lying about our three matches. This time when I brutally beat you down, and you submit to me for the fourth time, maybe you’ll finally get the message and go into permanent retirement. The gates of Hell are going to be unleashed on you and you’ll wish you were never born. Hope you’re looking forward to our match to open Climax Control 283 because I’m looking forward to setting the bar high for the other matches to attempt to attain.

Bea stops talking but we can tell something is on her mind and she continues speaking into the camera.

Bea:  Violet all the matches for this Halloween edition of Climax Control will have special stipulations, rules, etc., assigned to them and all the participants will not know what their match will consist of until just before the match starts. Let me be honest with you. Then again what the hell do you know about honesty when I exposed you on national television for being a chronic lying bitch? I don’t care what our match stipulations or rules end up to be. I’m coming into our match to run your lying ass out of wrestling. You’re a pampered daddy’s girl but when you step into the ring with me your daddy isn’t going to be able to stop the ass kicking beat down I’m gonna give you. I’ve had jealous girls in College lie about me to try to put me down while they tried to build themselves up. It failed and they got kicked out of College for lying about me. I’ve had people try to lie about me to make me look bad at places I worked. They also failed because liars are fools and are always exposed. Now you come along, after I defeated you THREE times in THREE matches all by submission and now you’re about to experience your FOURTH loss to me by submission! You cannot lie yourself into a win over me Violet. You’re 0-3 against me, you will be 0-4 against me in our upcoming match, so you have to deal with the truth and bury your lies!

Bea opens a bottle of water and takes a drink.

Bea:  For my final comments for today I challenge everyone watching, especially you Violet, to review our three matches I talked about earlier. I want everyone to see that you did, in fact, submit to me three times in three matches. After everyone views our matches, including you, then you will have no choice but to admit you lost to me three times by submission and you can then drop to your knees and worship me as your superior! You’re like the guy behind the curtain in the movie The Wizard of Oz. He claimed to be this almighty powerful Wizard but he was just an ordinary little man who used distraction tactics, such as smoke and mirrors and loud noises, to try to distract people from the truth of who he really was. Nice try on your part Violet. You can hide behind the curtain like the Wizard of Oz did, and scream into the microphone for people to ignore the person behind the curtain, but you’ve been exposed. You feel that losing to me three times by submission was dreadful and humiliating? Wait until I make you submit for the fourth time at Climax Control 283

Bea then does something we rarely see her do and that is to flip the middle finger into the camera to show Violet what she thinks of her. The cameraman tries to cut his camera feed quick enough but the middle finger got broadcast for the viewers, and especially Violet Amelia Holt, to see. Bea stands there with an evil grin on her face while the Network quickly arranges to cut to regularly scheduled programming.
 

98
Climax Control Archives / MIXER (Bea Barnhart Comments)
« on: October 15, 2020, 09:47:19 AM »
MIXER

Narrator:  Hi and welcome to my introduction to Bea Barnhart’s comments for her upcoming Mixed Tag Team match. I’ve been told Bea is doing her comments by herself today as Bill took Iris out to a dog park for some exercise. Also she may comment on things mentioned by Bill in his presentation since he won their coin toss to present his comments first.

Before we join with Bea we pick up on the presentation from several years ago where Bill and Bea were comparing mixed drinks that they each had as a favorite but the other didn’t know about the mixtures until they told each other then mixed the drink for them. After enjoying the newly presented mixed drinks Bill and Bea relaxed for a bit before Bill cleaned up the kitchen to get it ready for the next morning.  Bea was happy to share their favorite drinks and that Bill offered to clean the kitchen after their mixed drinks sharing thing.

RETURN TO REAL TIME

LOSERS ARE LOSERS

The scene comes on our screen and we see Bea Barnhart sitting in a chair in her hotel room. As the Narrator mentioned Bill took Iris for a walk in the dog park so they are not going to be involved in Bea’s presentation. Bea is casually dressed today, as compared to her formal attire she wore when attending Bill with his presentation, by wearing faded blue jeans, black athletic shoes, and an Atlanta Falcons jersey. Bea looks into the camera and launches into her comments.

Bea:  Thanks for joining me. You notice I went casual for my presentation today whereas I was in formal attire when attending Bill’s presentation. I like to be comfortable when I’m the one doing the main comments. Now you might be asking why I’m wearing an Atlanta Falcons jersey when the team is at a pathetic 0-5-0 for this season. I understand that question because when your NFL team is 0-5-0 and the Cleveland Browns are 4-1-0 that makes you look really bad. However I’m one of those who feel you should still support your local teams when possible.

Bea pauses to take a drink of water then she looks back to the camera to continue.

Bea:  If you watched Bill’s comments for our upcoming match you saw a video replay of something that took place several years ago concerning our favorite drinks. It is surprising that people get stuck with one way of mixing a drink and they never consider other ways. Most of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling get stuck with one way of wrestling and never consider other ways then they wonder why they lost a lot of matches. With myself and Bill we always find ways to mix things up so we’re always fresh and innovative. And that brings me to Ben and Evie Jordan. Ben and Evie what have you done lately? I know you both were accomplished for a short time but where have you been, and what have you done. . .lately? I have the history that you two joined as a Mixed Tag Team then took the loss so that surely doesn’t count as an accomplishment. Yes you have held Championships but your names don’t show up on the list of Champions as often as other wrestlers do. I guess not everyone can have continued success.

Bea takes another drink of water before continuing.

MIXER

Bea: Since we’re participating in a Mixed Tag Team match I took the time to research definitions for the words MIX and MIXER. To mix means TO COMBINE OR BLEND INTO ONE which is what Bill and I do as a Mixed Tag Team. Another definition of MIX is to MIX IT UP AS TO ENGAGE IN A FIGHT OR CONTEST. Oh, you two, be ready for us to bring the fight to you! One definition for the word MIXER is SOMETHING THAT MIXES THINGS UP. Our Mixed Tag Team is going to mix you two up to the point you won’t be able to be recognized by the fans. We’re in this match to win.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Bea:  Leading up to our match against Ben and Evie we’ve heard nothing but negative comments against us. They claim myself and Bill haven’t accomplished anything, we haven’t won anything, and we’re not able to win matches.

Bea finishes the water in her glass and she pours more water into the glass for later.

Bea:  Since me and Bill are in a Mixed Tag Team match at Climax Control 282 I’ll discuss our record in Mixed Tag Team competition. We lost a Mixed Tag Team match to Trenton Tigers at Climax Control 257 when I was pinned by Daniela Rodgers. We defeated Dustin Holt and Violet Amelia Holt in a Mixed Tag Team match when I made Violet submit with my Sleeping Pill Sleeper hold. And our third Mixed Tag Team match, at Violent Conduct VI, we defeated Trenton Tigers, when Bill pinned Vector Rodgers. Our win over Trenton Tigers caused dissention in their ranks since Vector Rodgers and Char Kwan were selected, under Freebird Rules, to participate in the match, and they totally failed. The fact remains that since they called themselves Trenton Tigers it means we avenged that first loss we had against them. So there you have it. Overall in Mixed Tag Team competition we are currently 2-1-0, and after we defeat you two at Climax Control 282 we’ll go to 3-1-0. The next accomplishment after that is The Barnharts will earn the Mixed Tag Team Championship.

BACK TO SEVERAL YEARS AGO IN LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA

We return to the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where the following happened several years ago. This took place after Bill and Bea traded their favorite drinks with each other. They are in their backyard, sitting in chairs at the patio table, with the umbrella on the patio table opened to provide shade, and Iris is running around sniffing her backyard to see what animals have been intruding on her property. When the camera returns to the patio table we notice Bill and Bea have snacks and drinks on the table. Bill brought out a large plate piled with pepperoni slices and a six-pack of cans of Classic Coke. Bea appears to have some Filipino food for her snacks as we see what looks to be Lumpia and Pancit. For those of you who are not familiar with Filipino food Lumpia is similar to an egg roll and it can be filled with numerous items and then it is fried and Pancit is a type of noodle dish.

Bill:  I’m happy when you make Pancit and Lumpia Bea as I’m not into cooking much except for pizzas and pies and lasagna.

Bea:  Anything for the man I love.

Bill:  I feel the same way when I make cheesecake, peach pie, key lime pie, and lasagna for you.

Bea:  Oh, Bill, you’re trying to fool the viewers. You know you make those pies and cheesecake for yourself and Iris to enjoy. You do so much for me, and surprise me with special gifts all the time, so it is okay that you spoil Iris also.

The item from several years ago plays out and the scene changes back to real time again.

THE END OF BEN AND EVIE IS NEAR

Bea:  How does it feel when you’re the person, or team, that so overwhelmingly defeats your opponents that they retire and are never heard from again? For me it feels damn good to send someone into retirement after they have been defeated by me. When our team, The Barnharts, soundly defeat Ben and Evie Jordan, they’ll likely run off into retirement and never be heard from again. Would I feel bad if we have that affect on them? Nope! I want you two to enjoy what little time you have left before our match. Have all the fun, enjoyment, and pleasure, you can manage to get, because after we return you to the backstage area you’ll be in so much pain from the beating you took at our hands it will be weeks before you enjoy things again.

Bea motions to the cameraman to indicate she is done with her comments. He calls to the Network to inform them and they cut to regularly scheduled programming.


99
Climax Control Archives / MIX IT UP
« on: October 15, 2020, 09:46:16 AM »
MIX IT UP

Narrator:  When Bill Barnhart contacted me to open his comments with my narration all he told me is that he is ready to mix it up. That tells me he and Bea are ready to mix it up against Ben and Evie Jordan in a Mixed Tag Team match at Climax Control 282. Also Bill and Bea flipped a coin three times to see who were present their comments first. Bea picked Heads and Bill picked Tails and with three flips of the coin it came up Tails twice for Bill so he presents his comments first.

FAVORITE DRINKS OF BILL AND BEA

We are taken back several years to the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. They are in the kitchen and we see numerous bottles of alcoholic beverages and other items used as mixers for drinks.

Bill:  Bea you asked me to tell you what my favorite mixed drink is so I’ll prepare it for you. It is simple and contains two ingredients most people don’t associate as being put together into a mixed drink.

Bea watches as Bill places several ice cubes into a nice sized clear drinking glass. Bill picks up a bottle of Gin and pours it into the glass until the glass is two-thirds full. He then pops open a can of 7-Up and pours it into the glass until the level of the mixture of Gin and 7-Up is just below the rim of the glass. Bea gives an odd glance at the drink Bill made as she is not used to seeing Gin and 7-Up mixed together.

Bill:  I know what you’re thinking Bea. I thought the same thing the first time I was introduced to a Gin and 7-Up drink. I found it to be a smashing success since I couldn’t stomach the taste of the traditional Gin and Tonic.

Bill hands the glass to Bea. She takes a sip and a smile comes on her face. She then drinks and finishes the Gin and 7-Up with pleasure.

Bea:  Wow! That’s better than I expected! I love it! Now it is my turn to introduce you to my favorite drink which is also a combination of two ingredients not normally associated as being put together into a mixed drink.

We watch as Bea fills a glass, that is the same size as the glass Bill used for his drink, with a small amount of crushed ice. Bea opens a bottle of Vodka and fills it until the level reaches two-thirds of the glass. Bea then opens a container of Orange Juice and pours it into the glass until the level is just below the rim. She hands the glass to Bill who gives it an odd glance since he is not familiar with this mixture of Vodka and Orange Juice. Bill sips the concoction then with a smile he drinks the remaining amount obviously enjoying the mixture.

Bill:  I must say, Bea, I’m surprised how well this tastes compared the usual of mixing Vodka with Soda Water. Thanks for sharing your favorite drink with me.

Bea:  It is always nice to share our favorite drinks, food, snacks, and other things, with the person we love and share our life with.

The scene from several years ago fades out and when the scene comes back into focus we are in current time with Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, relaxing in their hotel room that is located near Sam’s Town in Las Vegas. Bill is dressed in a dark gray business suit, with a white shirt, and a tie that matches the gray business suit, and black dress shoes. Bea is wearing a black full-length dress and black dress shoes. Iris? Oh you know the drill. She’s wearing her pink diamond-studded dog collar. The two are told by the cameraman they are live broadcasting so they perk up and Bill begins his comments concerning their upcoming Mixed Tag Team match.

MIX IT UP

Bill:  Before I launch into comments on our upcoming Mixed Tag Team match, at Climax Control 282, I wish to comment on my match at Climax Control 281 against Mac Bane. There’s no doubt I was in control of the Roulette Rules Dumpster Match and was about to win when one of the dumpsters rolled along and hit me in the back. When I got knocked to the arena floor by the dumpster the damn thing rolled on top of me squashing me. Stuff happens and this happened to me. Due to that incident during the match Mac Bane was able to stuff me into the dumpster and close both sides of the lid. So, Mac, congratulations on your win. But speaking of getting squashed I’m sure when you face O’Malley for the Roulette Championship he’s gonna squash you like the annoying cockroach you are and he will send you home to your Roach Motel as a loser.

Bea:  Ha ha ha! Good one Bill!

Bill:  Now about our upcoming opponents, Ben and Evie Jordan, I have several things to mention. I consider it an honor to step into the ring with you Ben. I’m also sorry to have to be the one to inform you that our team is going to destroy your team and there’s nothing you can do to prevent that. The record books show that you and Evie served as a Mixed Tag Team previously and got your asses handed to you by Kedron and Rinoa Williams. Be ready to have your asses handed to you by me and Bea at Climax Control 282 because we’re ready to hand your asses to you when we defeat you.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Bill:  Leading up to our match against Ben and Evie we’ve heard negative comments. They include comments that me and Bea haven’t accomplished anything, we haven’t won anything, and we’re not able to win matches. Shall we examine those comments as it relates to our Mixed Tag Team?

Bea:  Yes!

Bill:  Concerning Mixed Tag Team competition here’s our record. We lost a Mixed Tag Team match to Trenton Tigers, on January 12, 2020, at Climax Control 257, when Bea was pinned by Daniela Rodgers. Then we defeated Dustin Holt and Violet Amelia Holt in a Mixed Tag Team match when Bea made Violet submit with her Sleeping Pill Sleeper hold. And our third Mixed Tag Team match, on September 27, 2020, at Violent Conduct VI, we defeated Trenton Tigers, when I pinned Vector Rodgers.

Bea:  That loss to us by Trenton Tigers caused dissention in their ranks since Vector Rodgers and Char Kwan were selected, under their Freebird Rules, to participate in the match. The fact remains that since they called themselves Trenton Tigers it means we avenged that first loss we had against them.

Bill:  Overall in Mixed Tag Team competition we are 2-1-0. There ya go punks! We have two wins and one loss in Mixed Tag Team competition and when we defeat Ben and Evie Jordan on September 18, 2020, at Climax Control 282, we’ll go to 3-1-0. That means we have a winning percentage in Mixed Tag Team competition of 66.6 percent. Gee, Ben and Evie, what is your winning percentage in Mixed Tag Team competition? From the information I read it is ZERO percent! After we defeat you, and go 3-1-0 in Mixed Tag Team competition, we’ll have a winning percentage in that category of 75 percent in Mixed Tag Team competition.

Bea:  You forgot to mention one other match.

Bill:  Which one?

Bea:  Kristopher Ryans.

Bill:  Since we’re the likely tag team to face Kris Ryans and Mikah for the Mixed Tag Team Championship the match I had with Kris needs to be mentioned. That match took place April 24, 2020, at Climax Control 266. I defeated Ryans by submission with my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold. That means after we defeat Ben and Evie, then go on to face Black Sheep, there’s a major intimidation factor in my favor since Kris knows he cannot defeat me. He would rather have Mikah in the ring since she has a better chance against Bea than he does against me but still we come at them with the intimidation index off the charts and that works in our favor.

Bea:  Always nice to have the intimidation factor on our side.

Bill:  I’m very proud of you Bea. You came into the sport of wrestling as my Manager then I encouraged you to get trained and ask to be hired in Sin City Wrestling as a Wrestler. You’ve come a long way since that initial match and you’re becoming a Bombshell Wrestler others don’t wish to face. Keep up the great work!

Bea:  Hard for me not to do well in the wrestling ring when I have a fantastic instructor in you.

Bill and Bea high five then hug and kiss before the cameraman cuts his feed and the screen goes black.


100
Climax Control Archives / I'M FACING A MCDONALD'S SANDWICH?
« on: October 07, 2020, 03:04:48 PM »
WHAT? I’M FACING A MCDONALD’S SANDWICH?

Narrator:  Good day and thanks for joining me. I’m Bill Barnhart’s Narrator and I’m here to provide opening comments leading up to Bill’s match against Mac Bane at Climax Control 281. To start off you’ll be taken back to November 14, 2008, which was Bill’s 25th birthday, to watch an annual event that happened between him and another entity. Pay attention as you might learn something.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR. . .YOU MIGHT JUST GET IT

The scene takes us back to November 14, 2008, which was Bill Barnhart’s 25th birthday. Bill is relaxing at his home while Bea and their English Bulldog Iris are out shopping for gifts for him. There is a knock at the door and when Bill answers the door he lets out a huge sigh. . .

Bill:  *SIGH* You again? Aren’t you tired of losing to me? Since I turned 18 years of age you have come to me every year to try to win my soul away from me for eternity and you’ve failed all six times. Why have you shown up again? Do you honestly feel that seven is a lucky number and you’ll finally win my soul from me? Get the hell out of my face!

Satan:  Gee, Bill, funny you should tell me to get the hell out of your face when you know I own Hell. You know I have come to you annually, on your birthday, for the past six years since you turned 18 years of age, to try to earn your soul for eternity. This year is the year I win and your soul will belong to me forever!

Bill:  Something you said is key in you knowing, without a doubt, you will lose to me again. You said that you want “to try to earn your soul. . .” which tells me you are not sure, after six failures, that you can win my soul on the seventh try. You really are a pathetic piece of. . .

Satan:  Don’t say it Bill! I will make eternity hell for you. You know I will do that because I own Hell. Enough of the small talk. We need to get down to this year’s contest. I will make it interesting for you. I will let you choose the contest where we will compete against each other with your soul on the line. When I win your soul belongs to me for eternity and I will torture you beyond anything you can imagine. If, and that is a huge IF you can win against me I promise to never come to you again to bother you about anything including trying to take your soul away from you. Is that a deal?

Bill:  Hell yeah! I’ve already defeated you six times in a row so defeating you a seventh time will be easy!

Satan:  Not so fast Billy boy! You haven’t heard who is judging our contest.

Bill:  Before you get over-confident let me tell you what our contest will be and then you tell me who will be judging the contest.

Satan:  Please amuse me with a fantastic contest Bill as this will be your last time, for eternity, to challenge me.

Bill:  What? I’ve never challenged you! You’re the one who is always challenging me and losing to me! We’ll both have to do a dance to the song SHAKE YOUR BOOTY by KC and the Sunshine Band. The person with the most votes from those judging our dancing is declared the winner. That winner will be me of course.

Satan:  That’s it? Something as simple as doing a dance? Deal! The judges for the contest will be 100 of my demon minions. The winner of our dance contest is the person who gets 51 votes or more. Fair enough?

Bill:  Sure but I have one more request.

Satan:  You don’t get any requests Bill. You must dance first then I get my chance to out-dance you. With you going first you are at a disadvantage.

Bill:  That’s what you think! Remember I’ve won many dance contests over the years and I’m going to win this one also.

Bill places the CD into the player and selects SHAKE YOUR BOOTY by KC and the Sunshine Band. When the music hits Bill launches into his dance routine. Bill puts on the moves and we can see the excitement on the faces of the demon minions who are there to vote on who wins the dance contest. When Bill is finished he takes a bow, points to Satan, and tells him to give it his best shot. Bill starts the play of SHAKE YOUR BOOTY and Satan does his dance. When Satan is done both he and Bill take a seat and wait for the vote count to be delivered.

Satan:  Ready to lose your soul to me Bill?

Bill:  Never in your wildest drug-induced dreams!

The demon minions have come to the final count of their votes. The senior demon minion walks over and stands between Bill and Satan to deliver their decision.

Senior Demon Minion:  We have come to our final vote count on who wins the dance contest. I have to be honest that this vote wasn’t even close. Our final vote count is 80 votes for Bill Barnhart and 20 for Satan. Sorry Boss! You lose!

Satan is shocked that he lost the dance contest and can never again challenge Bill for his soul, or anything else, for eternity. Bill is laughing so hard he’s having a hard time taking breaths.

Bill:  HAR HAR HAR!!! *BLEEP* you Satan! You tried to cheat and you lost again and this time for eternity! Get the hell out of my sight, you loser, and don’t ever get near me again!

Satan poofs himself and his 100 demon minions out of Bill’s life. Bill walks into the kitchen and pulls out a few beers and downs them and the scene of what happened on November 14, 2008, on Bill’s 25th birthday ends.

WHAT? I’M FACING A MCDONALD’S SANDWICH?

The scene changes and we see Bill, along with his wife Bea and their English Bulldog Iris, relaxing in their hotel room which is located near the Cox Pavilion in Las Vegas, Nevada. The two are sitting on the couch in front of a coffee table and Iris is running around sniffing out the room. Bill is in his normal casual attire consisting of blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black athletic shoes. Bea is wearing her trademark blue dress she wears while serving at ringside as Bill’s Manager. Iris, as always, is wearing her pink diamond-studded dog collar.

Bill:  What in the hell is going on? I got a call from Sin City Wrestling and it appears they’ve assigned me to a Roulette Rules match to wrestle a McDonald’s sandwich called a McBane!

Bea:  Ha ha ha!!!

Bill:  And what, my dear wife and Manager, do you find funny?

Bea:  You’re not facing a McDonald’s McBane sandwich. You’re facing a wrestler named Mac Bane.

Bill:  Ohhhhh!!! Excuse me for a few minutes while I research my opponent, I mean my victim, out.

When Bill gets on his laptop computer to take a look at the information sheet on Mac Bane the Network cuts to a commercial break. After several minutes of the commercial break the Network returns to the live broadcast of Bill.

A ROULETTE RULES MATCH IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH

Bill:  I’m back. Now that I’ve had a chance to review the Climax Control 281 card, and the information sheet on Mac Bane, I’ll continue with my comments. I’d like to start with the definitions attached to the word BANE. They include HARM, RUIN, DESTRUCTION, WOE, and POISON. Mac you are none of these things but even if you were then you would still be only about ten percent of the violent wrestler my half-brother Chris Shipman was and I defeated him over seventy-five percent of the time. *YAWN*

Bea:  So that everyone is informed Bill obtained the definitions for the word BANE on the Merriam-Webster Dictionary website.

Bill: Mac you may think you have the advantage since wrestlers in a Roulette Rules match do not know what type of match they’ll have until the Roulette wheel spins and lands on a spot to decide the match type. Listen carefully because what I’m going to tell you will make you understand that you made a mistake, a HUGE mistake, signing this Roulette Rules match against me. When I had to face my half-brother Chris Shipman in matches, for many years in Asylum Wrestling Alliance, all our matches were so brutal, violent, disgusting, and evil, that most of those types of matches are banned until the end of time. That means there’s nothing our Roulette wheel can land on that I can’t easily handle. I won the majority of my matches against my half-brother and those matches were more than they’re allowed to put on the Roulette wheel in Sin City Wrestling.

Bea:  I wish to discuss the three Roulette Rules matches Bill has participated in here in Sin City Wrestling. September 15, 2019, at Climax Control 247, Bill defeated Caleb Storms in a Rock and Street Fight Roulette Rules match that Bill won by pinfall.

Bill:  Caleb talked about how effective he is in Roulette Rules matches but I proved him to be ineffective.

Bea:  Bill then faced Griffin Hawkins for the Roulette Championship on October 20, 2019, at High Stakes IX. Bill came close to winning but with Hawkins being a great Roulette Champion he was able to pull off the win by pinfall in that Steel Cage Match.

Bill:  Having that match against Griffin Hawkins was on my list of dream matches I wanted in Sin City Wrestling.

Bea:  The third Roulette Rules Match for Bill was against O’Malley on August 16, 2020, at Climax Control 276. Bill came close to winning but O’Malley was able to get the win over Bill by submission.

Bill:  I vowed to avenge that loss to O’Malley and with my win over you, Mac, at Climax Control 281, I’ll advance and the likely wrestler to face O’Malley for the Roulette Championship at High Stakes X. If that match takes place I’ll avenge my previous loss and become the new Roulette Champion.

Bill excuses himself to get some snacks from the kitchen. He returns carrying a plate of pepperoni pizza slices in one hand and a six-pack of Classic Coke in his other hand. He sets the pepperoni pizza and Classic Coke on the coffee table and he and Bea start in on the food and drinks. Iris is quick to get up and get between Bill and Bea to beg for pizza. Bill appeases Iris by handing her a slice of pizza on a large paper plate to avoid spillage and Iris is happy.

I WIN. . .MAC BANE LOSES

Bill:  Mac let me level with you. I do research on all my opponents, except the ones I’ve already faced, as it is nice to know what new opponents think of themselves. Normally they always think more favorably about themselves than I think about them. So your name is Mac Bane eh? I say your name is Mac Bullshit. I’ve heard the crap you’ve spread around prior to our match being scheduled. I know the comments all my opponents will make. In your case you’ll most likely claim you have a height and weight advantage and that puts me at a disadvantage. Nice try but. . .FAIL! I’ve defeated wrestlers up to twice my weight and up to a foot taller than me and I defeated them. When I soundly defeat you then you can take the bullshit you’re throwing my way and return to the country farm and till the bullshit into the ground to serve as fertilizer. If Satan, and my half-brother Chris Shipman, were not to defeat me then why the hell do you think you have a chance?

Bea:  I’ve heard rumors that over your wrestling career both your knees have undergone surgery. That makes a prime target for a Figure-Four Leglock or other leg-punishing maneuvers Bill wishes to dish out upon you.

Bill:  Brag all you want Mac. I don’t see how a Four-Way, or other multi-wrestler match, is something you should brag about just because you won the match. In multi-wrestler matches you can have most of the wrestlers beating each other senseless while one wrestler cowers in the corner waiting for the other wrestlers to get tired from beating each other down. Then they step in and take advantage of the already worn out wrestlers. Gee if that’s all you can brag about then when you face me at Climax Control 281 you’re going to be shocked when I easily defeat you.

Bea:  Have a great time leading up to your match with Bill as you’ll be having a horrible time after Bill pounds you into submission.

Bea motions to the cameraman they are done with their comments for today. The cameraman cuts his feed and the Network switches to a commercial break.


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