The following conversation took place on the day after Blaze of Glory IV, on a small general wrestling fan message board. It’s one of those small, fan-run message boards where people discuss things, share art and fiction, and of course, argue with each other. This small message board has a chat function that allows members browsing the site to chat with each other in real time. The entire exchange has been copied and reposted below.
ChrissyPants1 entered the room.
ChrissyPants1: Yo
PopsicklesTNA: Hey
RomanzRain: Hey hey CP
ChrissyPants1: Any1 else here?
RomanzRain: Bunch of ppl were earlier
BombshellPride: I’m here! What’s up
ChrissyPants1: Just watched the SCW Blaze of Glory
I was wondering if a certain someone had seen it
BombshellPride: She hasn’t been in here yet today.
RomanzRain: Thank god
BlairPunkfish entered the room.
PopsicklesTNA left the room.
RomanzRain left the room.
BombshellPride left the room.
BlairPunkfish: Jeez, don’t everyone leave all at once, you’re going to hurt my feelings lol
ChrissyPants1: Hey BPF
BlairPunkfish: Hey CP. How r u
Today sucked so bad, got yelled at on the train by this wanker who thought my kids were being too loud, I was like, they’re MY KIDS, how dare you tell me what to do with them, random stranger!
ChrissyPants1: Yeah, my day was rough too
BlairPunkfish: And now I’ve got all these bills due, water and electricity so I can’t even afford those tee shirts I wanted to get, or the action figures, which means my blog won’t be updated this week, stupid bills, why am I even paying for those services at all? My water tastes bad and the electricity should just be provided if you’re a citizen.
ChrissyPants1: I’m guessing you haven’t seen Blaze of Glory yet
BlairPunkfish: No, that jerk on the train got me so wound up I haven’t had a chance to do anything I wanted to do today. I was going to clean the house top to bottom for the first time in months but
I have anxiety and even worse my mum called today and berated me for what felt like hours because I’m not living up to the perfect daughter she has in her mind’s eye, so I nearly had a breakdown and shouted at her and about what a terrible mother she was and finally it ended with her agreeing to give me some money
BlairPunkfish: …so…yay!
BlairPunkfish: But I don’t have it yet because mum is internet illiterate and won’t just paypal it to me. She wants me to use it for the water bill but I’m going to buy action figures to review for my blog.
BlairPunkfish: U still there?
ChrissyPants1: Yes
BlairPunkfish: U have a link to a stream of the event?
ChrissyPants1: No, I paid for it
BlairPunkfish: Ah, I wish I had money for luxuries like that. It’s okay, I know I site I can watch it on *puts on eyepatch and grabs bottle of rum* Yo ho!
BlairPunkfish left the room.
ChrissyPants1: ok then….
Two hours pass…..
BlairPunkfish entered the room.
BlairPunkfish: What…the…FUCK
ChrissyPants1: U watching SCW BoG?
BlairPunkfish: Nicolas Blair is back!!!!
ChrissyPants1: Knew u’d be excited
BlairPunkfish: WTF did they do to him?!!!!!
ChrissyPants1: what do u mean
RomanzRain entered the room
RomanzRain: Ah crap
RomanzRain left the room
ChrissyPants1: Hi RzR
Bye RzR, lol
BlairPunkfish: Last time we saw him he was wrestling in the main event against Mark Ward, and now he’s been relegated to that stupid tag tourney?! And his hair! They DYED IT BRIGHT EVA F’N MARIE RED!
ChrissyPants1: You think SCW dyed his hair?
BlairPunkfish: And he’s wearing a tshirt for Jessie freakin’ Salco! He’s not even wearing a suit!
ChrissyPants1: Did you watch the rest of the partner drawings?
BlairPunkfish: Oh my god they made the devil look like the bastard son of Ronald McDonald, I can’t BELIEVE this is happening.
HO-
LEE
SHIT
ChrissyPants1: You watching the main event? Hell of a twist at the end
BlairPunkfish: No, still watching the Blair/Salco segment. I can’t believe they just had him dismiss the special effects! It’s like they’re completely changing all of the things that made him WORK!
Oh my god.
BlairPunkfish: THEY’RE REBOOTING NICOLAS L BLAIR
ChrissyPants1: Rebooting? Can you do that in wrestling?
BlairPunkfish: This is going to cost them ALL of their viewers.
ChrissyPants1: I really don’t know about that
BlairPunkfish: The ONLY reason anyone tunes into this half-assed federation anymore was the hope…the SLIM HOPE that Nicolas Blair would come back, kick Ward’s smug ass and fix things back to the way they’re supposed to be. For almost two years all of us fans have been waiting for that exact scenario to happen….and they give us…THIS?
ChrissyPants1: I haven’t been waiting for that scenario tbh
BlairPunkfish: I’ve been following Blair’s career since he DEBUTED and even through that weird period when he was wrestling in those Southern feds with the blonde hair and the different name, and NOTHING has been as awful as this.
ChrissyPants1: I remember your conspiracy theory that that other wrestler was him
BlairPunkfish: It WASN’T a theory, it was the TRUTH. All of the clues were there if you paid enough attention. See, that’s what I love about Blair, it’s that he’s the goddamn literal devil in wrestling form and if you’re smart and watch what he’s doing, you can see the Machiavellian machinations unfold. But this..THIS….
BlairPunkfish: UGH.
ChrissyPants1: I mean, we haven’t even seen that much of this new look yet
BlairPunkfish: I hope that they come to their senses and realize what a HUGE mistake they’ve just made, relegating Nic’s big return to a freakin’ tag team tournament with freakin’ Jessie Salco as his freakin’ partner, uggggghhhh. I just dislike her SO much
ChrissyPants1: I like Jessie Salco. Maybe she and Blair will be a great tag team
BlairPunkfish: She’s not a BAD wrestler, per se, but I just…don’t…like her? I guess? I mean, she’s just so…yuck. If I was going to team up Nicolas Blair with someone, it would be with the Mean Girls. They’d be perfect to carry out all of his evil plans.
ChrissyPants1: rly cuz that doesn’t seem like something they’d do
BlairPunkfish: In fact, in my SCW roleplay, I think that’s what I’m going to do. I play as Nicolas Blair there, and I play him RIGHT lol, I actually RESPECT his history and understand what makes him tick, unlike this current piss-poor real-life SCW.
ChrissyPants1: I think that maybe if he made some changes, that it’s kind of his prerogative, I dunno.
BlairPunkfish: Oh, I am POSITIVE that this new look and all of that was foisted on him by management. There was practically a riot on these boards when he lost to Mark Ward last time, remember?
ChrissyPants1: I remember one person rioting
BlairPunkfish: Clearly they told him they were going to thread him back in far away from Mark Ward so he couldn’t damage Lord Ward’s precious snowflake feelings and hurt his heat any further by getting more cheers than him, ugh, SO corrupt, I could go on for DAYS about how the federation has screwed Blair over for years and years when doing right by his fans mean he should have held the world title for a freakin’ SOLID DECADE
ChrissyPants1: I remember your 10 page blog post rant about that
BlairPunkfish: Yeah, I should repost that, lol, it got a lot of hits. I bet Mark Ward himself ended up reading it. I can’t believe SCW isn’t out of business yet, the way they run things. They’ve turned their best wrestler into a cartoon character worse than anything from 90’s WWE.
ChrissyPants1: Oh come on, Red Hair Blair isn’t TL Hopper
BlairPunkfish: It COULD be. It is totally that bad. I BET it will be that bad. I bet they give him douche sunglasses and have him vape instead of smoke and he probably doesn’t even seduce Jessie Salco to the dark side with drugs and sex even ONCE
ChrissyPants1: Imagine that
ChrissyPants1: U going to quit watching SCW?
BlairPunkfish: I bet they’d like that, if all of Nicolas Blair’s true fans stopped watching so they’d have a reason to point to him and say ‘see, this doesn’t bring in the ratings, so we’re going to release him again’ but this time I’m not going to give up so easily, lol
ChrissyPants1: We going to see you on SCW tv? Lol, BlairPunkfish does a run-in!
BlairPunkfish: I don’t have the money to attend SCW events, I just d/l the shows on a certain website that we’re not allowed to talk about here because it’s “illegal†but there are other ways to get a company to listen to its customers…just you wait and see….I have the whole internet at my disposal.
ChrissyPants1: ok then
BlairPunkfish: I mean, why would SCW even have a “Contact Us†page on their website if they didn’t want you to contact them, right?
ChrissyPants1: Good…point?
The Fangirl Saga paused there, for a little bit. But this burning ember of fanrage did not die; oh no, it certainly did not. It was fanned into even greater flames thanks to a couple of innocuous incidents….
***
Incident 1: The Podcast
Four days before Climax Control, a podcast dropped helmed by a couple of pro wrestling fanboys known collectively as the Torn Turnbuckle. A transcript of the relevant parts of the show are shown below.
“TORN TURNBUCKLE RADIOâ€
“Good morning – or afternoon – or evening, whenever you’re listening to this, to all of our fans! This is Brian Tee, the host of The Torn Turnbuckle Podcast, thanks for the download. And with me as always is Rad Ryan, the internet’s top humor analyst and Eva Marie fan-master.â€
Brian: Ryan.
Ryan: Brian.
Brian: Ryan and Brian are here once again, as we are every week, to have some in-depth discussion about the best – and worst – parts of pro wrestling. WWE, ROH, TNA, the indys, we try to cover it all. And we’ve got a special guest this week on Part 1, don’t we, Ryan.
Ryan: That we do, Brian. A little over two weeks ago was SCW – Sin City Wrestling’s big Blaze of Glory 4 event, which we will be talking about later, of course.
Brian: Yeah, and there were some big things that happened on that show, including some returns of old faces. Now Ryan, you’re a bigger pro-SCW guy than I am; are you happy to see all of those faces back?
Ryan: I, well, I’m happy to see MOST of them back. Some of the stuff in SCW gets too far into the realm of, uh…
Brian: Supremely bad taste.
Ryan: Well, I was going to say corny, but yeah. But this overall was a really good show and some of those returning faces are a really good thing in my opinion. And SPEAKING of those returning faces…
Brian: That’s right; today we’re going to be talking to one of those returning wrestlers. Returning superstar? What does SCW call their male wrestlers?
Ryan: They don’t get a special name like the Bombshells. There’s a little, you know, I mean, SCW has been accused of sexism before, and one of the things is that the women have the special cutesy ‘Bombshells’ name and the guys are just, like…Male Wrestlers.
Brian: Well, let’s give them a special name. I’d hate for the guys to feel left out. If the women are Bombshells, maybe the men are Machine Guns. You know, keeping with the ballistics theme.
Ryan: Male Machine Guns! Well, we’re going to be talking to a member of one of the tag teams in the big Blast from the Past Tournament. Partner to Bombshell Jessie Salco, Male Machine Gun Nicolas L Blair will be talking to us next!
Brian: I’m going to ask what the L stands for.
Ryan: Don’t do it, man! No one ever gets an answer for that. It’s one of life’s mysteries that must remain unsolved.
Brian: I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna ask about the L.
Ryan: He’ll hang up. We’ll never hear from him again. He’ll vanish from the face of the Earth. Again.
Brian: Torn Turnbuckle, responsible for ruining Jessie Salco’s dream of advancing past round one of the tournament. Couple of hardcore heels, right here.
Ryan: With our podcast and its astonishing 2,548 downloads. So influence. Much sway. Oh, hey. Brian. Guess what I have here?
Brian: What do you have, Ryan?
Ryan: I have the first round brackets for the Blast from the Past Tournament.
Brian: Bombshells and Machine Guns blasting everywhere. Lay those brackets out for us!
Ryan: Round 1, first half. Belinda Warwick and Matheson verse Evie Bang and Lord Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab.
Brian: We saw that match last week. Evie and Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab looked great.
Ryan: Max Burke and Mercedes Vargas verse James Tuscini and Trish Newborn.
Brian: Shouldn’t it be ‘versus,’ and not ‘verse?’
Ryan: Sure, to all of the unwashed non-Eva Marie fans out there. “Verse†is new hotness in physical matchup verbiage.
Brian: Okay, then. Vargas and Burke were the winners in a pretty quick match there. There was a lot of talking on this week’s show.
Ryan: There’s always a lot of talking on SCW shows. That’s just their style. Lot of talking, lot of black hair dye, lots of eye makeup, lots of leather duster jackets that went out of style in 1999…
Brian: What was the next match?
Ryan: Kate Steele and Joshua Aquin took on Amy Marshall and Dax Beckett. You know Amy and Dax are my sentimental favorites to win this tourney. They took the first step when they beat Kate and Joshua pretty handily.
Brian: I caught that match, that was a good one. Was that it this week?
Ryan: Yeah, the one match got bumped to next week, so we’ll have five matches at this week’s Climax Control.
Brian: Maybe that will cut down on all of that talking on the show I mentioned earlier.
Ryan: Kiiiiiinda hypocritical for a podcaster to complain about people talking too much, isn’t it, Bri?
Brian: Hey, I just want more bang for my buck! Being an SCW fan doesn’t come cheap!
Ryan: Well, this week we’re going to see Dmitri and Orchid verse Dark Defender and Gothika in a match most likely sponsored by Hot Topic, Ivan Darrell and Amanda Cortez verse Jermiah Hardin and Brandi Shotze, Brother Grimm-
Brian: Uuuuggggghhh.
Ryan: You’ve made your feelings on Brother Grimm perfectly clear in past episodes, Bri.
Brian: Just UUUGGGGHHHHH.
Ryan: Anyways, he’s teaming with Misty against Kris Halc and Polly Playtime. Ben Jordan and Samantha Marlowe are taking on Jordan Williams and Remi-
Brian: That’s too much Jordan in one match.
Ryan: SCW doesn’t care about your ‘single use of a name per match’ requirement, Brian.
Brian: They should. It’s confusing for fans AND the announcers. It’s why WWE limits the number of Chrises they have. They put Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho and Christian into one match once and I think good ol’ J.R. burst a blood vessel in his brain.
Ryan: Hah! I remember that. The match we’re most interested in, though, is probably gotta be Xander Bishop and Chelsea Pain verse Nicolas Blair and Jessie Salco.
Brian: Nicolas ELLL Blair.
Ryan: They left the “L†off of the preview title card. I’m looking at it right here.
Brian: They got the L out of there!
Ryan: *groans*
Brian: Don’t you tell me to shut the L up!
Ryan: Aaaaaanyway, Xander Bishop took the pinfall loss from Despayre at Blaze of Glory, so he’s probably out looking for some retribution. Against Nicolas ‘L or no L’ Blair. Who we happen to have waiting on the line to join us. Should we bring him on now?
Brian: Sounds like a great plan. Listeners of the Torn Turnbuckle, all like eighteen of you, we were pretty damn surprised to be contacted by Nicolas L Blair’s agent this week and ask for an interview. He’s notorious for not doing public appearances or interviews, and doesn’t seem to have any real social media presence-
Ryan: Yeah, I remember about a year ago everyone thought he had an instagram, but it turned out to be some sort of, like, fan roleplaying account? Kind of weird.
Brian: Blair’s a well-known name on the Southern indy scene, but he’s probably best known for his bloody, brutal matches against Hot Stuff Mark Ward first in Gen X and then right here in Sin City Wrestling. I bought the DVD of the Best of Mark Ward just for those matches, man.
Ryan: You sure as hell didn’t do it for the interviews.
Brian: GOD no.
Ryan: Well, without further adieu, let’s bring him on. Nicolas, are you there?
Nicolas: Yes, I’m here. Thank you for the introduction.
Brian: Thank YOU for finding us among the seven billion wrestling podcasts and granting us the interview.
Nicolas: Of course. My agent found you. For the act of dropping you a tweet, he gets an entire 15% commission on my salary. He’s the most evil person I know, next to myself.
Brian: So, how’re you doing today?
Nicolas: I’m doing splendid. I just bought a 1967 Chevy Camaro that I’m having custom painted with tacky day-glo neon orange flame detailing all over it. The detailer is begging me to not do this atrocity to such a classic car, but what can I say? The devil is in the detailing.
Brian: MAN, that’s evil!
Nicolas: I may use it for my next match’s entrance. We’ll see if Jessie is interested.
Ryan: So tell me…How did a little podcast like ours get your attention?
Nicolas: It was your obscurity. I like to make my fan-things earn their fandom.
Ryan: True that. Finding out things about Nicolas L. Blair isn’t the easiest thing to do. For our listeners who aren’t familiar with you, let’s give them a little background. How long have you been pro?
Nicolas: I’ve been involved in the industry as a pro for sixteen years. I was trained in the professional art of wrestling by a close family friend, but I’ve always been around the industry.
Ryan: Ah, because you’re the devil.
Nicolas: POSSESSED by the devil, but yes. I think you get the gist.
Ryan: And you’ve wrestled all over the South, though you’re mostly based out of Georgia, is that right?
Nicolas: Yes. I’ve wrestled in front of eight people and in front of eighty thousand people.
Ryan: Before you resurfaced in SCW, I saw rumors on the internet that maybe you and Broken Matt Hardy were going to clash. Is that off the table now with the two of you clearly going in separate directions?
Nicolas: We already had the match. It was in the realm of dreams, so you may not remember being in attendance. But you were there. You ALL were there.
Ryan: I…huh, that almost sounds like a dream I DID have. Did you win?
Nicolas: No. It turns out drones can dream. I was not expecting that.
Brian: What else have you been up to since we last saw you on TV?
Nicolas: Every now and then I like to retreat a bit, and let my vessel reassert some control over his life. I’ve been enjoying following politics and watching you assholes in humanity degrade yourselves little by little, turning the mortal realm into a reflection of the truest, most pure form of Hell.
I also took up Frisbee golf, for fun. It is the douchiest of all sports. I fit right in.
Brian: Before we go any further, can I ask you something?
Nicolas: Well, I assumed that was why I was on this podcast, so fire away.
Ryan: Don’t ask him about the L, man. Don’t do it!
Brian: No, this is something else! Like, I’ve been wondering this for a while about a lot of the guys you see out there – I mean, the dark, demonic, evil-type dudes who decide that the best way to spread their particular brand of chaos and evil is by getting into a ring and slapping a guy in front of fans for 15 minutes a couple of times a week.
Nicolas: That describes me…sometimes. What’s your question?
Brian: WHY wrestling?! I mean, I’ve seen Al Pacino in ‘The Devil’s Advocate’ and I’ve seen shows where the devil helps solve crime procedurals, or whatever, but it always seems like the way for a literal demon out of hell to try and be as evil as they can would be something more mainstream than sweating in a wrestling ring. I’ve seen the Undertaker cackle about how his grand plans for darkness involve crucifying a dude just because he’s got a shiny gold belt the Undertaker wants. I’ve seen Kevin Sullivan claim that he was going to bring about the end of the world thanks to some pro wrestler in a mask he pulled out of a pond. What is the allure of the demonic world to adhere to the frankly, sometimes goofy rules of pro wrestling? How is that going to accomplish whatever evil goals you have?
Ryan: Nicolas, I’m sorry for Brian, he is kind of a hardline pure wrestling guy-
Nicolas: No, it’s a good question, actually. A very good question. I would say, and bear in mind that I don’t keep track of every idiot demon that traipses onto the mortal plane with a half-assed plan, or adult human who never grew out of their teen goth phase, but I would say that in my case, the reason I work in the realm of professional wrestling is working in the micro sense, not the macro sense. I’m not really interested in dooming the whole world. You assholes are all doing a great job of that yourselves, to be honest.
Ryan: He’s not wrong.
Brian: I’ll grant that point. So, what, you just really like taunting pro wrestlers? Is that all that the literal devil gets off on?
Nicolas: Two points. The first is this. When I say that I am possessed by the devil, I am saying that I am the literal devil, and I am in possession of this vessel, the one that’s speaking to you. It is mine and I claim it and the soul that went with it. If I choose to use this soul that was bound to me and use it as my mode of living in the realm of professional wrestling, then rest assured it is because that act torments my claimed soul in a way you cannot properly comprehend.
Brian: So you’re saying that everything you’re doing is more like you’re torturing yourself, rather than the other guys?
Nicolas: I make a good man do bad things. It’s fun!
Ryan: So, what’s your second point?
Nicolas: Do you know why the devil exists?
Ryan: You mean, uh, literally? Like, why does the concept of Satan exist?
Nicolas: Yes.
Ryan: Phew, you’re asking me to think back to my comparative religion class days in community college. Let me think…the overarching point of religion in general is to organize society and give it rules of conduct. It’s a way to kind of, you know, bind people together by giving them a united set of rules and rituals. It’s a survival tool for an unenlightened society. So, if that’s true, than the point of a devil is, kind of…like…giving consequences for people’s actions. The devil is the thing that we compare good conduct TO, so that morals are defined as morals.
Nicolas: That’s right. Without a hell, what point is there to heaven? What sweetness is in joy without pain?
Brian: The Torn Turnbuckle, the wrestling podcast you download to hear discussion about religious philosophy. If offended, please tweet @RyantheRadd, and not at me.
Ryan: I’m wishing I had done my homework more often in that class right now instead of drawing Rey Mysterio masks in all my notebook margins.
Nicolas: The point is, I have a purpose. I exist in this place and this time for a reason and everything I DO serves that reason. If there’s some joker running around claiming to be ‘Satan; but, like, way worse’ or whatever, that person’s an idiot. They’re goth Mary Sue. Their only purpose is to serve their own ego. There is no greater purpose to their existence, and they are…small.
Brian: I guess that brings us to your match with Jessie Salco against Xander Bishop and Chelsea Pain. Jessie’s title is on the line, which hardly seems fair to me.
Nicolas: Life can be so cruel.
Ryan: Mixed tag rules, which means that the Machine Guns fight the Machine Guns and the Bombshells fight the Bombshells. Hashtag #SCWMaleMachineGuns, folks. Let’s get that concept trending!
Brian: It’s never going to trend.
Ryan: You never know. I got hastag #AllRedEveryHair to trend and look at Nicolas Blair now.
Nicolas: It’s true, I dyed my hair because of a hash tag on a social media I don’t have an account on. The devil is in the highlights.
Brian: So what do you think about Xander Bishop? He runs with a pretty intense crew. And following the last couple of weeks, he’s likely out to turn around his tailspin.
Nicolas: Xander is a hard young man who saw a lot of success very fast. He’s only twenty-seven years old and look at him. He has so much going on. Runs a record label, holds down a job while also wrestling, running his crew and keeping up a relationship with his girlfriend. That’s so much work. It’s no wonder it’s starting to unravel for him. It’s just so much to ask of one man.
Ryan: We don’t want to push the rumor mill here too much on the negative side of things but there has been word that maybe he was arrested recently?
Nicolas: You can only go full-tilt at everything for so long until it all catches up with you. And as much as I hate being part of his downfall…oh, who am I kidding, being part of ‘man’s downfall’ is sort of my THING…but the fact is that part of his downfall is going to include losing at Climax Control to Jessie and myself. Even his partner Chelsea doesn’t seem very fond of him, you know. How well are they going to work together?
Ryan: As opposed to you and Jessie Salco? How do you two get along?
Nicolas: I invited her and her family down to Georgia for some Frisbee golf. No word yet on whether she’s going to take me up on the offer or not. But, what we’ve done together so far, I think we’re going to be a very good team. I want to get her past this first round; make her dream come true. For now, that is my purpose. And that purpose means I will take care of Xander Bishop for her.
Brian: Do you have any words directly for Xander? I mean, on the off-chance that he’s one of the forty-two people that actually download our podcast?
Nicolas: You know, Xander strikes me as the kind of guy who Googles himself in his spare time to see who’s saying what about him. I’m positive he’ll hear this podcast. And to that end, I’d like to say…Xander. Give in. There’s no need to fight so hard. People are going to think of you the way they have for years and nothing you do now is going to change their minds. Even your tag team partner has some frankly hurtful things to say about you.
Ryan: Yeah, borderline ‘phobic talk from Chelsea Payne was pretty, uh, problematic.
Nicolas: Sigh. People so eager to hurt each other just to feel better about themselves. Xander… Wouldn’t it be such a relief for you to just hear that one, two, three, and realize that you’ve got one less thing on your mind to worry about? Wouldn’t that burden going away be like cold water in the desert?
Ryan: That’s a pretty persuasive argument right there.
Nicolas: Also, I’m pretty sure I’m totally going to try to bite his nose off during the match. What can I say? The fans love the biting. I give the fans what they want!
Brian: If there’s one thing the devil can’t be accused of, it’s not listening to the fans, I guess.
Nicolas: I stick with what works. Jessie is more than equipped to take care of Chelsea. And I am very ready to come back to Sin City and do what I do best.
Ryan: Cool, cool. So, we put out the word on the twitter machine that we were going to be interviewing Nicolas L Blair and asked if anyone had any questions for wrestling’s literal Satan. We have a few tweets, so would you be cool with answering some questions?
Nicolas: Only if those asking are prepared to handle the answers.
Brian: Classic. Okay, so we’ve got @IamTadtheDad, and he asks “Do you think you and Mark Ward will ever cross paths again?â€
Nicolas: That is entirely up to Mark. Does he want a few more scars to impress the fan-things with? If so, he just needs to glance my way. You can’t tell because this is a podcast, but I’m giving him a flirty wink right now.
Ryan: @IamTheGuyNotRoman asks, “Is there anyone in the industry you haven’t wrestled that you’d like to face†and he follows it up with another tweet that just says “inferno match?†So I guess he’s asking, is there anyone you’d like to face in an inferno match?
Nicolas: You know, these days so many wrestlers have these long, scraggly, poorly maintained beards that an inferno match seems like an excellent way to start a new clean-shaven trend. To that end, and speaking of scraggly beards, I suppose my wishlist would be to wrestle Bray Wyatt…he and I really need to have a couple of words about the tenents of his particular cult.
Brian: Find it offensive?
Nicolas: No, I find it woefully incomplete. Like, does he have any literature one can read up on? How is he recruiting lost souls of the damned? Is his compound registered as a 15c3-3 tax exempt religious organization? Is he using paid labor to rebuild his burnt-down sheds? These are things I’d like to know before pounding his face into a fine bloody mist. In SCW, I’d like a chance to ply my particular brand of entertainment against a titleholder. Any of them. Which, of course, is the purpose of entering this tag tournament.
Ryan: Great answer, thanks. Okay, this last one…@blairpunkfish-
Nicolas: Must be a big fan.
Ryan: Yeah, must be, she…pretty sure it’s a she, sent in like 14 tweets. They’re all sort of…hard to parse. Let’s see if I can find something…
Brian: She wants to know why you dyed your hair and dumped the “SFX†in your debut. Doesn’t seem too happy about it.
Ryan: That seems to be putting it mildly, but yeah. Why the change in looks?
Nicolas: What is the commonly accepted definition of insanity?
*long pause*
Ryan: Oh, you’re asking us! Insanity is…crazy…stuff?
Brian: It’s doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Hah! I took college philosophy classes too!
Nicolas: A-plus for you. I’ve been doing this for a while now, and when I look around, I see a lot of people doing the same things, over and over again. No growth. No change. And change and death are the only two pure constants. If I want to succeed in SCW this time, if I want a chance to hold that title, then I need to make some changes. I’m going to have fun this time. So this time, forget the stupid parlour tricks. No fog machine. No evil twins. No fake blood. No projectors loaded up with images of bugs. Those things are passé; they make people groan and roll their eyes – in fact I’m rolling my eyes right now thinking about it. I’m going to drive a hot car, vape bubblegum flavored e-juice, dye my hair the exact same shade as Eva Marie, and I’m going to smile the whole obnoxious damn time even if my fan-things absolutely hate it. I’m the devil. I’m going to do whatever I want.
Brian: Hey, doing whatever you want got you on our podcast, and we’d like to thank you for it. Maybe you’ll come back again some time!
Ryan: Yeah, really great to talk to you. Can’t wait to check out Climax Control this week and see what happens.
Nicolas: A pleasure, of course. To you and to all of the fan-things…the best is yet to come.
Brian: We’re going to take a break for our sponsors, and then we’ll come back and discuss some Impact, a little NXT and Ryan will give us his match of the week!
Ryan: Following the theme this week, it’s going to involve Eva Marie. Try not to be too surprised.
*commercial break*
One day after this podcast dropped, the following tweets were sent out into the universe.
Blair Bitch Project @blairpunkfish 43 minutes ago
Blair Bitch Project Retweeted TornTurnbuckle
SUPER disappointed at how poor a job TTurnbuckle did getting answers to my questions
#NicolasLBlair #ProWrestlingPodcast #shittythingsthatmakememad
Blair Bitch Project @blairpunkfish 42 minutes ago
I had a lot of important points that Nic NEEDS to see, to let him know how we `the fans feel
#NicolasLBlair #ProWrestlingPodcast #shittythingsthatmakememad
Blair Bitch Project @blairpunkfish 42 minutes ago
All of the feels I got from them mentioning my username to him, to him knowing I exist were ruined
#NicolasLBlair #ProWrestlingPodcast #shittythingsthatmakememad
Blair Bitch Project @blairpunkfish 42 minutes ago
Nicolas L Blair is my escape from my shitty life and he’s being just wrecked by SCW AND this podcast
#NicolasLBlair #ProWrestlingPodcast #shittythingsthatmakememad
Blair Bitch Project @blairpunkfish 42 minutes ago
(1/2)Super irresponsible of Torn Turnbuckle to not let the fans voices really be heard. Guess I will have to try something else to get the word out that this is the wrong direction
#NicolasLBlair #ProWrestlingPodcast #shittythingsthatmakememad
Blair Bitch Project @blairpunkfish 42 minutes ago
(2/2)For Blair and SCW. New Blog Post coming soon with updates….
#NicolasLBlair #ProWrestlingPodcast #shittythingsthatmakememad
Not the end……
