-I AM JACK’S INNER TURMOIL-
“If Heaven and Hell decide…
That they both are satisfied.
Illuminate the “No”s
On their vacancy signs.
If there’s no one beside you…
When your soul embarks.
...then I’ll follow you into the dark.”
(We open to see Jack Russow sitting on a patient’s table in the bustling Kent and Canterbury Hospital as a nurse draws blood from his arm and removes the needle as he looks at her.)
Nurse: I’ll put a rush on this, we’ll make sure yer right as rain. All yer vitals seem top notch, I think ye’ll be alright.
Jack Russow: Thank you. But...if I could ask…
Nurse: Aye?
Jack Russow: ...my girl is in the next room and she’s got a weak immune system...I’m not so worried about me but...could you make sure they’re taking the best care of her they can?
Nurse: Aww ya charmer...such a sweet lad, I’ll see to it meself.
Jack Russow: You’re the best.
(The nurse leaves the room closing the door as Jack presses his face to the wall trying to hear a hint of anything. He calls out as loudly as he can.)
Jack Russow: ‘LANAH!!! I’M RIGHT HERE, BABE.
(A “Shave And A Haircut” knock on the wall brings a smile to his face as he knows she heard him. Suddenly his door opens and in swaggers his father Levi Russow sporting a medical mask.)
Levi Russow: Do you...feel fucky.
Jack Russow: ...wha- of course not, I’m totally fine.
Levi Russow: ...OH GOOD!
Jack Russow: Why aren’t you with her? I asked you to be with her!
Levi Russow: ...I...MIGHTA been run outta the room.
Jack Russow: ...what did you do?
Levi Russow: ...I don’t wanna say...
Jack Russow: ...you threatened the docto-
Levi Russow: I threatened the doctor.
(Jack pushes his fingers into his eyes and lets out a big exasperated sigh.)
Levi Russow: ...penny for your thoughts, kiddo?
Jack Russow: I shouldn’t be in THIS room. I’m fine. This Coronavirus bullshit is getting out of hand but she...if she gets it…
Levi Russow: THAT girl...is tougher than fourth grade “maths”.
Jack Russow: ...fourth gra-
Levi Russow: I DIDN’T GO TO SCHOOL, SON.
Jack Russow: Ah...good point. I just…*sigh*...
(We fade out for a now...Quite some time passes, when we come back to the scene Jack is sitting alone in his waiting room, lying on the bed, counting the little holes in the spackling of the ceiling tiles.)
Jack Russow: One thousand two hundred twenty-ONE...One thousand two-hundred twenty-TWO...One-
(Suddenly the door opens and the Doctor walks in. Jack swings his legs around to sit up.)
Doctor: So sorry to keep ya waitin’. Mr. Russow I’ve got your test results.
Jack Russow: It’s totally okay...am I...y’know?
Doctor: Infected? Nope. You’re clean as a whistle. We’ll just need ya ta sign some things then yer free ta go!
Jack Russow: Doctor...what about Alanah?
Doctor: The pretty little Irish lass next door?
Jack Russow: Yeah...she’s my girl...and I’m worried sick about her.
Doctor: Well given her past history and how weak her immune system is...so far she’s tested negative but we want to keep observing her a LITTLE while longer.
Jack Russow: Can I see her?
Doctor: Well since you’re cleared, I don’t see why not...I’ll walk you over.
(Jack takes a deep sigh of relief as the Doctor points to the box of masks on the wall.)
Doctor: Can’t be too careful.
Jack Russow: Absolutely.
(Jack puts the mask on as they walk next door as the Doctor knocks twice...when they enter, they see Alanah gently bashing her head against the wall as Levi lies on the table with his hands folded on his stomach looking up at the tiles telling every traumatic story from his past like it’s therapy hour…)
Doctor: Is this a bad time?
(Alanah turns around and sees Jack slide into the room and immediately she bolts for him, the Doctor tries to hold out an arm but she blasts through it like a 300 pound halfback jumping square into Jack’s arms and kissing him passionately.)
Doctor: ...not sure i would have advised that till we know for certain you’re oka-
Jack Russow: If she has Coronavirus she won’t go through it alone and I can’t think of a better way to catch it.
Doctor: ...I mean if you’re just gonna put it out there like that I suppose.
Alanah O’Connell: Babe...I am okay...but my patience...is wearing...THIN.
Jack Russow: I know love, but it’ll all be okay. As soon as you’re cleared we’ll-
Alanah O’Connell: It’s not the WAITING...it’s HIM!!!
(They both look over at the table where Levi is still lying down rambling.)
Levi Russow: And then I had to defend my title in some bullshit match some unprepared rookie bitched and moaned for until he got a shot at me and he tried to make it all hardcore and deathmatchy and I still kicked his ass and then-
(Jack and Alanah look back at each other and press their foreheads together.)
Jack Russow: It’s okay...we’re together now.
Alanah O’Connell: But Jack-
Jack Russow: Together or not at all...remember?
Alanah O’Connell: ...right…’bout that…
(Almost as if on cue, the door BURSTS open and Bella Madison storms into the room marching right over to the table, grabbing Levi by the ear, and twisting until he gets up…)
Levi Russow: ow. Ow. OW. OW. OWWWWWWW-WUH!
Bella Madison: That’s IT! You’re OUTTA HERE! The BOTH of ya!
(Bella storms over and grabs Jack who struggles as Alanah promises him it’ll be okay she just...needs a boy break. As Jack gets dragged outta the room. In the hallway he squares up with Bella.)
Jack Russow: Aaaand what do you think I’m gonna do now?
Bella Madison: Go get COFFEE...go get DRUNK...Hell, maybe even go prepare for your MATCH against the SCU HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION IN HIS HOMETOWN YOU DAFT BASTARD...I DON’T CARE...GIVE THE GIRL A BREAK!!!
(With that, Bella turns and flows back into the room slamming the door behind her as Levi climbs up from the ground wincing and massaging his ear.)
Levi Russow: ...whiskey?
Jack Russow: Whiskey.
-HOUDINI’S MAGIC BAR-
(We see the exterior of the multi-award winning Houdini’s Magic Bar as we travel inside and see multiple magicians working their craft as throngs of people drink and be amazed as the camera zooms around to show Levi and Jack Russow standing right in the middle of it.)
Jack Russow: ...what...and i cannot stress this enough...the actual FUCK is this place?
(Suddenly from the back a booming voice yells…)
“LANGUAGE!!!!”
(Jack looks incredulously at Levi who’s giving him a shit eating grin before Jack rolls his eyes and stalks towards the voice as we see the massive frame of Slappy McGoo standing by a doorway as Jack walks up and gives him a big hug.)
Slappy McGoo: How’s muh boy?
Jack Russow: Losing my ever loving mind, Slap. I just...wanted a quiet place to have a drink and deal with what I have to.
Slappy McGoo: Well lucky fer you ya ain’t gotta deal with all o’ thi-
(Suddenly a clown pops up with a deck of cards LITERALLY out of nowhere. Like popping up from the ground. And as soon as he does...Jack, Levi, AND Slappy all three shriek and punch him in the face as he drops like a sack of bricks and they look around suspiciously before Slappy opens the door ushering them through into a darker, more traditional pub.)
Jack Russow: Fuckin’ clowns.
Slappy McGoo: JACK! LANGUAGE!
Levi Russow: It’s Friday the 13th...all the weirdos are out.
Jack Russow: ...what’s that say about us?
(Suddenly they hear a glass shatter and a group of men sing out…)
“CANTERBURY IS THE GREATEST!!!
WE’RE THE GREATEST OF ‘EM ALL!!!
CANTERBURY IS THE GREATEST!!!
WE ARE ALWAYS ON THE BALL!!!”
Jack Russow: ...well this is gonna end well.
“Innit though?”
(Jack’s eyes widen as he hears a familiar voice as Levi puts an arm on his shoulder with a huge smile on his face…)
Levi Russow: ...I thought you’d be a bit overwhelmed so I called in some backup…
(Jack turns as he sees, in the darkest corner of the place, reclined with his boots on the table...a very haggard looking Mack McKane who gets up and storms over as he and Jack laugh and give each other a big hug.)
Mack McKane: Heard you was havin’ some problems, innit?
Jack Russow: Yeah yeah, in due time...first...I need a beer and a shot.
(They all take their seats as the barmaid comes over and takes their order and they quietly talk amongst themselves until she brings all the rounds...Jack notices one of the men smack her on the rear and her demeanor drop as she makes her way to the table.)
Levi Russow: Jaaaaack...no.
Jack Russow: What?
Levi Russow: Bar fights are 2010. We’re here to have a couple civil drinks...and talk about our problems.
Mack McKane: ...fuckin’ Hell, d’you need a pad Ms.? Yer vagina’s bleedin’.
Levi Russow: HERRRRR...smart-ass.
Jack Russow: Guys I...I JUST wanna have a drink and try to take my mind off things.
Mack McKane: An’ what things is that, sunshine?
Jack Russow: ...we had to go get tested for Coronavirus at the hospital…
Mack McKane: I prefer tequilitis!
Jack Russow: It’s not a joke, man! They…
(Jack takes a deep breath and hits his shot hard wincing because he’s not much of a drinker.)
Jack Russow: ...they kept Alanah. She’s still there getting more tests.
Mack McKane: FUUUUCK’S SAKE WHY YOU HERE!?
Jack Russow: SOMEONE...GOT US KICKED OUT OF THE ROOM.
Levi Russow: YEAH, SLAPPY!
(Slappy sips his tea calmly giving Levi an absolute death glare...it’s kind of adorable. Levi finally rolls his eyes.)
Levi Russow: ALRIGHT THAT WAS MY BAD.
Jack Russow: And now I’m...I’m under the most pressure I’ve been in since I started this wrestling ride. And I’m not...I’m not sure how I can overcome this one, y’know?
(Mack flips open Cutrina, his trusty butterfly knife he twirls when he’s anxious.)
Mack McKane: Step one. Withdraw knife. Step two. Insert rapidly into the opponent, innit?
Jack Russow: Look just because you’re a sociopath that, quite frankly, I’m a bit surprised isn’t marathoning EVERY horror movie he can get his hands on today...doesn’t mean I throw down like YOU, man!
Mack McKane: I’m jus’ sayin’...s’worked like a charm fer me so far.
Jack Russow: You don’t GET it dude...I’m facing the SCU HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...the BEST the “Developmental” brand has to offer...IN...HIS...HOME...TOWN!!!
Mack McKane: BIG...FOOKIN’...DEAL!!!
Slappy McGoo: LANGUAGE!!!!
Mack McKane: It’s JUST another match, innit!? Look...LOOK what’cha done so far! NO ONE been able ta touch yas since ye GOT HERE. Hey bruv, I get it...it’s a lot. You’re still learnin’ the ins an’ outs...Hell most o’ the roster don’t even know yer fookin’ name yet. And yeah...yer in HIS backyard. But what a STATEMENT would ya make if ya took him down! I know you kid...ya done the workouts, ya done the homework, you are READY fer this!
Jack Russow: ...God I hope you’re right...I’ll be right back...anyone need another round?
(EVERYBODY says “AYE!” as Jack rolls his eyes and gets up walking up to the bar placing his order...one of the men nearby hear him speak and turn his lads around to start poking jabs.)
Drunkard #1: OI! Listen a THAT accent...s’there a fookin’ YANK drinkin’ in our pub!?
Drunkard #2: Oi e’s a PRETTY one too! Look a that HAIR! Whassyername, Princess?
(Jack stays stoic and looks straight ahead doing his best to ignore them as the first Drunkard stands up and slaps a hand on his shoulder.)
Drunkard #1: Hey BOY...my mate asked you a quessio-
Jack Russow: You have...THREE seconds...to remove that hand.
(All the drunks get a hoot out of this giving a group “OOOOH” as the man sneers.)
Drunkard #1: Er what? Ya gonna braid me hair?
(Jack slowly turns around and squares up to the man who easily has two inches and forty pounds on him.)
Jack Russow: Listen you drunk, challenged, slobbish piece of shit. My girlfriend is Irish, my best friend is a blade-slinging psycho from Camden Town, her brothers are both Irish juggernauts with 8% body fat between them, one of them hates my guts and takes every chance he can get to take jabs at me and the other wants to make sure I’m tough enough to protect his sister and ON TOP OF THAT...MY ENTIRE FAMILY...IS FUCKING MENTAL. SO IF YOU DON’T SIT DOWN. SHUT UP. AND DRINK YOUR BEER. I’M GONNA BE THE WORST THING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU TODAY AND THEY JUST CANCELLED FOOTBALL.
(The drunks all stand there dumbfounded in shock for a second as we see Mack slowly slide out of his chair gripping an unflipped Cutrina in his hand as everyone else starts to slowly rise up from the table…
...until the drunkards bust out laughing and cheering and pulling Jack in for a massive hug.)
Drunkard #1: YOU GOT SOME FOOKIn’ MOXY KID!!!
Drunkard #2: THIS FOOKIN’ GUY!
Drunkard #1: YER ALRIGHT!!!
(Jack looks completely confused as he gets his drinks and nods to the drunks and makes his way back to the table sitting down looking absolutely shell shocked as everyone sits in silence for a good two minutes until...)
Slappy McGoo: ….sssssooooo-
Jack Russow: I...CANNOT believe...that worked.
(Mack smirks at him and takes another drag from his bottle.)
Mack McKane: Looks like ya found yer stones after all...now ya just need to use ‘em.
(We fade out on a montage of everyone in the pub drinking and celebrating as we change scenes.)
-I AM JACK’S LOST SALVATION-
“Said it’s the end of days…
And you’re still pissin’ in the wind…
...Don’t believe in God…
...but figured he’d be a better planner than this.”
“Noght o word spak he more than was nede,
And that was seyd in forme and reverence,
And short and quik, and ful of hy sentence.
Souninge in moral vertu was his speche,
And gladly wolde he lerne, and gladly teche.”
-Geoffrey Chaucer “The Canterbury Tales”s
(The scene opens outside of the world famous Canterbury Cathedral as the bells in all three towers seem to be ringing as we see a familiar leather jacket clad figure standing on the walkway in front of it as prayer goers flock to pray for protection from the pestilence or to forgive them for their since because they’ve been fucking the pool boy behind their husbands back while he’s fucking his secretary at work because PEOPLE. ARE. SHIT. He slowly lowers his head and turns around and stands with his hands folded in front of him...The Punk That Was Promised...The Real Wild Child…
JACK
FUCKING
RUSSOW
And he takes a deep breath as the sun reflects off his aviators as he begins to speak.)
Jack Russow: I...crossed an ocean...to start a Revolution. And d’you know what? It was going...SPECTACULARLY. Until...now. Until I get stuck...in this lose/lose situation. See, WHETHER we like to admit it or not...MOST of the free world looks at Americans like a bunch of slack-jawed, paste-eating, rhesus monkeys led by a cheeto with a turkey neck. And d’you know what else? THEY. ARE. RIGHT. So what does SCW do in it’s infinite wisdom to try and change the tide of how the world looks at us? They bring the FIRE. MASSIVE must see cards EVERY week that you’d be an absolute FOOL to miss and I...I am gonna do something I never do.
...I’m gonna pat myself on the back.
Jack Russow: BECAUSE...I’m still a minnow in this lake. I’m a little fish clamoring for a meal to get bigger and stronger until the DAY...I BECOME...A SHARK. And don’t you worry...THAT day...is closer than you think. But maybe...I don’t know. Maybe they think since I’m undefeated and PROVING...I’m as GOOD...as I TELL YOU I AM...MAYBE they think I need to be knocked down a peg and that’s where YOU come in…
...Mark...Cross…
(Jack calmly removes his aviators and clips them onto his shirt as he walks towards the camera and sits cross legged by it as he points at the towers of the cathedral.)
Jack Russow: It’s beautiful isn’t it? I’m truly jealous you got to see this every day Mark. ‘Cause after all we ARE in your home town are we not? This is your stomping ground, your call to arms, your catapult! See you’ve been making...SUCH great waves in the Blast For The Past tournament and they just couldn’t HELP but bring you along for the BIG BOY show!!! YOU’RE the SCU Heavyweight CHAMPION! You are the BEST...of the BEST…
...of the WORST.
(Jack spins from facing the cathedral to sitting square in line with the camera...the Cathedral forming a background behind him.)
Jack Russow: See...I can’t enter that cathedral. Your God’s, your religion...it ain’t for me. I have seen unfathomable evil committed in the name of the “Lord”. I have seen...the BEST people I have ever met...stricken with disease...loss...heartbreak. I have watched CHILDREN...SUFFER. I have met all walks of life and listened as each explained to me the concept of their God and I have come to the conclusion that there...is NOBODY HOME on the other line when you say your prayers...and I know...for all your flash and for all your glory and for all your achievements I...KNOW...you’ve been praying Mark. So let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we?
(Jack taps the ground as he licks his lips collecting his thoughts for a moment before pressing his hands in a prayer position up to his lips.)
Jack Russow: See I...I’m not a “bad guy”, Mark. I’m not! USUALLY...I can connect with each and every fan in that arena and leave them buzzing by the end of the night JUST by showing them...what I can do. And please believe, I’m going to give every ounce of sweat and energy I have to make Canterbury, Kent, England NO different but I’m...as you would say…”behind the 8 ball”.
...because they...fucking...LOVE you…
Jack Russow: And why SHOULDN’T they! The hometown boy done good on his word! The conquering hero coming back from the crusades with GOLD held HIGH above his head! The Once and Future King of Canterbury laying his most prized possessions at the feet of the Archbishop himself! HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO!!! And now as a treat...for all your subjects...they “fed” me to you. With EVERY expectation that you are just going to THROTTLE me like a whelp tied to the post for your whipping expertise but I have...SUCH different news for you and I know, I know...you’re not gonna take it seriously. And you’re NOT gonna wanna hear this. But just like God? DRAGONS. AREN’T. REAL. And when it comes...to in ring competition...much like the Backstreet Boys…
I don’t care who you are…
Where you’re from…
What you did…
...As long as you fight me.
Jack Russow: Because I am NOT...one of these trash little gimmicks you’ve run roughshod over to establish your dominance. I am NOT some two bit, rag-tag Intergender team thrown together like some strange bedfellows bullshit. I am a second generation KILLER. I may have come here with a clean slate...I may have stated “what I’ve done elsewhere doesn’t matter”...but if you’re SMART. You’ll do your homework. And when you do your HOMEWORK you’ll find out that I...am going...to HURT you.
...I don’t WANT to…
...that’s not ME…
...but let’s be HONEST, Mark. I can slap hands and kiss babies all day but there is NO WAY...NO. FUCKING. WAY. I can POSSIBLY come out the hero in this match. I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Because you see either I LOSE...and that strips my ability to boast I’m undefeated and AAAAALL of these four teeth havin’, beer-swillin’ chucklefucks will laugh me out of the arena for “not being good enough”.
OR.
I BEAT the conquering hero...I RUIN the homecoming of all homecomings! I take the fact that you’re the champion of SCU...and I make it IRRELEVANT. I HAVE...EVERY...possible advantage on my side. I’ve got youth on you...I’ve got SPEED on you...I’ve got TECHNIQUE on you...I’ve got CHARISMA on you...fuck, man, I could keep listing for days and days but as a wise, blade-slinging psycho once told me…
...Show...Don’t Tell…
(Jack slides his way back up standing as he brushes his jeans off and takes one last look at the cathedral.)
Jack Russow: ...I WISH...I could feel something when I look at these FANTASTICALLY beautiful monuments to a fairy-tale creature. But that would be me defying reason. Just like YOU defying reason finding SOME WAY to become a respectable champion...when you LISTEN...TO FUCKING...NICKLEBACK. THAT...ALONE...IS GOING TO MAKE ME HIT YOU JUST A *LITTLE* BIT HARDER!!! GOD you’re fuckin’ awful! BUT! I DIGRESS! Because iIf I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, Old Man...I’m JACK FUCKING RUSSOW...the REAL...Wild Child. And if I could borrow a phrase from one of my favorite songs…”Feel Good Drag” by Anberlin?
...THIS WAS OVER BEFORE IT EVER BEGAN…
(Jack walks out of the scene as we fade to black.)
