They once told me that you must be a bad man to be evil, what is evil I ask you? Is evil the way how people dress? How people act amongst their inner demons? Or how people try to play a role that they aren’t. Hell, drugs often give you the persception in life that you should follow demons…. How pathetic is it to have lost reality, while reality is the fact that I am evil from within… I do not need no fucking sick entity
The shot opens with Goth seen sitting down in a room, a room filled with symbols and pages torn of the bible. Hanging on the wall by glue, pins or even a knife. He stares at the wall in front of him where there are burning candles and a cross in between. A Jesus figure on the cross, with his head sideways and his crown of thorns on his head. Amused is the look of the figures face.
So he returned to me? How often have I not played the road of sadism before his youthful eyes. Sins are a toy of pleasure they say, but to me it is merely a factor of how I would disagree upon their souls. I mean seriously, why would people dare to try to sin these days? Don’t we all know that we were born in sin?? Just because some knucklehead and a bitch ate from an apple tree… go figure, they always say that fruit is good for you….
He smiles, we see the cracks in his eyes emerge from his age. He has seen a lot of warfare in his life and met the best of them.
Sins, the truth needs to be told that one dares to be friendly…, while the other dares to be a demon. Yet their trail always end up flying up the crowd of insanity… I am sure you are wondering whether I am high, or that I know what the fuck I am talking about? But do you? Or have you just become numb to reality??
He puts a small cross to his lips and kisses it. He utters some verses in Latin or some other dead language that we do not understand.
I have always wandered whether the tales of the Bible did you any justice my brother…, I mean seriously…, walking upon the trail of your own death. Carrying your own cross, while people ridiculed you…, showed signs of blasphemy and even wanted your own life. For what reason? I suggest that the figure down south had something to do with it…,
How easy it is to blind people with their own greed now wouldn’t you agree??
He closes his eyes, his fingers run slowly before his face before closing them in his hands as he starts to do a prayer. Whispering words, softly. A low base in his voice can be heard as if he is humming. A skull ring can be seen on one of his ring fingers, rubies are the eyes of the skull. The mouth is open, in a laughing matter. On his left pink we can see a metal cover with a sharp point in the end. There are some biblical writing on it, with angels on either side.
I once told a demon that I truly pitied him…, he never understood my intentions as he was solely on about trying to take my soul. It’s so funny to see how figures like those are so one dimensional, no past… no present and sure as hell no future.. their own reality is their own demise… something that even a pure hearted doll of a teddy bear cannot alternate. Nothing in their reality can set them free from my holy water… spraying upon their flesh that covers their bones… something that even a bear named Angel cannot hide you from….,
He opens his hands, his fingers touch his lips as he kisses them. He grabs the cross in front of him and runs his fingers across the face of the Jesus statue. Running over the beard, towards the eyes and then the crown.
How could they have done this to you oh Brother, I knew you have always accepted your fate. Even though you never had any say in it, was that true love my Brother? Or was it the fact that upbringing for the King of Kings made you truly worth of being King? It was my intent to change things, to break with the tradition of how Kings should be… let alone HE who has ruled over every wave of every nation. We both preach the Good word, yet our actions speak louder than words don’t they? You cure people, you turn bread to wine and show mercy. While I wonder whether you would have gone far with something that Gandhi has done so many years ago. If you were alive right now, I am sure that you would have gone high at least once…. At least then you would have been a true sinner… begging for forgiveness and have his own sitcom… how things have changed now huh my Brother??
Goth grabs some beads and runs them through his fingers as he mumbles again, the camera zooms in on his fingers as his mumbling increases volume.
Oh I should not worry about the words whispered about my own being.. it is natural that people often assume that I am a fraud. Just another example of someone that puts on face paint, portray a character and is a freak. But am I? Who doesn’t want to be a man that walks around in Armani suits? Have the biggest wealth and wears jewels beyond the imagination of the common man? You always portrait yourself to be poor. I understand now brother that you just were lazy, always trying to take the easy road. Just like sinners, just your heart was pure. You had the opportunity to spit in their faces after what they have done to you. And yet, you just play that role of the Good boy that never let them down. And yet I cannot imagine that you never had that one moment that you just wanted to get laid… to have sinning thoughts huh?
Just like Despayre….,
His eyes lit up for a few moments after whispering the man called Despayre…a name that has crossed his mind so many times that he has refused to keep track of matches. His scars are telling a different tale though. Many from past battles that has burned him, or even the moments where he was suffering the same fate as Angel once did.
Damn those sins, I know you would not curse oh brother. But then again, curses were not a part of your vocabulary as it only referred to those who were true sinners were it not? Oh no and then those who did, were too respectful to just do it without thinking. Ahh yes, the mindless mindset of the present day makes it so much more entertaining. Assuming that they all feel that they are justified to ridicule that what seems to be oblivious for them to understand. A cross, a marter, a bread and wine tale? A subtle hint that back then in your age and time, that they were not ready to fulfil the destiny is filling mine… that of removing the sins one by one…
Flashback.
Psycho Circus 2007 the bell has rang and Goth can be seen on top of AP Feight.. after surviving a Hell in a Cell elimination match with weaponry against eleven other men. And who runs out to congratulate Goth? Nathaniel Havok. Goth can be seen asking if he has done it and Nathaniel hands him the championship. Causing tears to run down his cheeks, a culmination of hard work for having being ducked for six months. Finally getting that what he felt was rightfully his. The shot of Goth getting to his feet and hugging AP Feight after the match is the final shot we see as the television screen freezes up with that shot. As the two men hug and Nathaniel Havok can be seen looking on.
Goth: So you have finally once again risen from the dirty sands of Hell to be a part of something that I am huh Nathaniel? Why did you not called me? I would have let you in right away, but no… you had to walk the path of difference huh? Walk the same trail I have done.. does that mean I feel envy? Or jealosy? Or is it the fact that you never can get rid of pesky bugs like you??
Smoke fills the room, Goth can be seen smoking a Cuban cigar while continues to watch the screen.
Goth: That one night, you were there that night. You watched me fight the odds, you watched me and Staniak going into that cell among with 9 other men. To decide who should become champion. Our union had a shot of 2 against 9 to win it… thankfully I cemented my legacy in that one night wouldn’t you agree?
Wouldn’t you??
He repeats these words with a decisive manner, clearly wanting to make a stand against the newly signed old friend/foe of this man.
Last time we crossed paths it was in a federation where I retired the fed as the world champion Nathaniel. Not that it really mattered, not that you cared. But it did show something between us huh? Succeeding where others have failed… and yet we do have something in common though…
He inhales a deep breath as he blows out a large amount of smoke through his nose.
Our paths lead to one common goal Nathaniel, I have yet to manage to remove the sins of one man out of my mind. One sinful thought that makes me become less of a true warrior of justification of purity. Something you or Despayre never seem to understand. And yes Nathaniel, he is my sinful obsession. That is if it is possible according to the sinful thoughts of those who dare not to believe. But yes, I do sin, it is something that keeps me realise that I am just human after all…. Unlike your portrayment of a Demon.
His eyes light a bit, he is chuckling over the final words he has uttered.
Goth: Forgive me, for they would think I am hallucinating. You see Nathaniel, you were a formidable foe that I could not beat in the beginning also. But I adapted, I learned to cross your path and walk right through you. Yet this man is so much more different in so many ways, that it makes me want to bleed and foam through the mouth. Sometimes it made me enjoy it as it made me feel more like a human. A human that dared to sin, because he did not know any better…. And yet that Despayre, his insanity.. his drive to break me as much as I do wish to do it to him. It makes it all worth while, just like AP Feight, Jaymz… all men that I never seemed to beat. And yet in the long run, I was the one that survived them all… as I am a patient man Nathaniel.
Goth: Even patient enough to wait for that one moment, that one moment that seemed to be a dream come true. A dream that always splattered out to become a nightmare. I know that deep down inside that’s what you and Despayre enjoy it the most. Pure unadulterated chaos. And yet the way I see things when it comes to you Despayre, is the fact that I only worship chaos when it is mine. As Nathaniel can only rely to it.
Goth: A man that even dared to not mention my name, why? Because he fears the wrath if he does. Something I just shrug and laugh at, just like I always wanted to do to you Despayre. Laugh at your own life of simplicity, but that’s where I have gone wrong all the time. Something that I need to rectify the wrong. And guess what? That is this moment. Why? Because when I am done with my career, I will look down and know that I never went wrong in my entire life.
His eyes are fixated upon the camera, as the smoke is flowing across his face. His eyes are not blinking, he is focused upon one thing and one thing only. Despayre.
Goth: It would be hard for me to understand that I could never beat someone, hell I could hardly grasp the idea that nobody has ever done that to me for this long. Is it the fact that you ran away from me at one time Despayre? That you realised that I had you? That I had the momentum going that you went blind of rage. But no, in the end you fled and the momentum all went gone. I admit the fights we had were momental, but does that leave me with a good feeling? Oh come on, don’t think that a good feeling like having your body touched in a certain would compare of me beating you?? Sex is something that comes and goes, but the orgasmic nature of beating you would stay forever….
Goth: Ever thought of hearing me say these things Despayre? Or you Nathaniel for that matter?? Or is it the fact that I have moved on to a whole new level that will bring me the sanity that I desire? Beginning a path of setting things right, the King of Kings will be the only one left. No successors that try to play my role.. right Kain? Nothing that you can do will stop me. So why don’t you just watch your eyes and see me destroy someone that even YOU could not destroy. Watch me become the true sanity of Insanity, watch me become the man that you have feared the most. Seeing that you fear nobody right Kain??
His eyes are showing intensity, he is clearly enjoying the taste of the final confrontation with his arch foe.
Goth: I do not need to use toys, or a scenery of demons to fulfil my pocket with money. I do not need to talk to my wife every five minutes to fill camera time. As these are acts of sins that are controllable. Sins that are being directed in a fashion that nobody even could care about. Oh no, these sins mean nothing to the world as I choose to be a different man. To understand me Despayre, you need to realise that I have grown to hunt you. I wish to sink my fingers into your flesh and rip your flesh from limb to limb. To have your blood drip down my hands and watch you beg for another eternal sinful obsession. That of glue keeping your chances alive, that of duck tape trying to maintain some idea that you have suffered in battle…
Goth: But trust me, when I am done with you. Even staples in your head to cause your brain not to flee would not help you. Because I will just sink my teeth into your flesh, cosuming your sins as it was the apple on the forbidden tree. Taking back those sinful thoughts that I once had, taking back the many months of punching my fists against the walls after suffering a loss to you. Oh yes Despayre, it is nothing that you have not done to yourself, but to me… it is a new sensation that I need to embrace before asking for forgiveness one more time. Forgiveness of sinning those nights of waking up with sweat pouring down my body. Waking up screaming your name, waking up with those eyes of Angel begging to be destroyed one more time. Understand those feelings of a man that is pure Despayre? And who is to be blamed?
His smile emerges as if he is awaiting an answer that is not coming
Goth: Sins cannot be blamed upon one entity, it is the fact that you allow the sins to be perpetrated upon you by someone else. It is merely that I wish to turn your blood into wine… that this will be the blood of Christ that I will be drinking. And your flesh to be the bread that resembles his flesh. To fulfil the sins to be removed from me, the sins of simpletans like you. As my sins will take over the world as I am the King of Kings.. the purest of all.
Goth: Understand that it is something that needs to be done Despayre, nothing that you will be able to do to stop me from destroying your legacy. It was meant to be Despayre. To assume the rightful place at the throne of HIM that told me to do what I am born to do. Tell me Despayre, ever wondered when the night would come that someone would take you down? Just ask Angel to comfort you, perhaps he can make you stop crying for the realisation that I am your King… the King of Kings…
With that Goth smiles as the shot fades to darkness.
