Call Me, Maybe?
Scene One | Off-Camera
It was kind of strange to think about. Luna and Sean had crossed paths a few times in the past. The TRIAD draft party, the finals of the Strength Tribulations. She was certain it had likely happened more than she even knew. But those were two she could remember. So colour her surprised when she didn’t somehow get screwed over with her pairing. Or at least, she assumed she hadn’t.
Part of her was expecting the Bill Barnharts of the world to be stuck with her, and as much as she loved the Barnharts… well. There’s some cruelty in this world best not thought of. Alex had somehow got stuck with Calaway again, and after she’d spent half the night cackling at the thought, she did feel somewhat sympathetic for him. As much as she disdains the woman, Alexander himself may have been quieter on it.
But boy was that woman not a pleasant thought in their household.
Duchess, their gorgeous short-legged Beagle, had decided today was a naughty day, and was making it an absolute agony for Luna to get herself put together. Her hair was half-brushed, and still slightly too wet to do anything nice with. She’d put on her primer and some foundation, but looked more like a ghost than a human being right now. Wrapped up in a dressing gown, and a cigarette hanging from her mouth she was about ready to give up on the phone call.
Alex was out on a walk. Why hadn't he taken the dog on the walk? Nobody could answer such questions. Clearly not the man who had decided to walk himself every day lately without the dog. But that meant that whilst she was trying to put her life together for the day, she had to deal with a decidedly naughty little hound. Did that mean she had lost track of time? Potentially.
But that would not stop her from attempting to get her life together, because if there was anything that Luna Pasilno was good at? It definitely wasn’t being a functional human being.
“What are you eating? Drop it! Drop it!” Luna started yelling as Duchess took off through the apartment, chewing away on something that she definitely was not meant to be eating. Chasing the animal through the apartment, she finally noticed the time. When had 10AM rolled around?
With her fingers halfway down the dog’s throat, attempting to pry whatever bit of food it had managed to find from her slobbering and excited jowls. She loved Duchess, but sometimes she really wished they hadn’t picked a fucking Hound.
So to say she was just the slightest bit spooked when her phone began to ring? That was an understatement. Successfully prying what was left of a lolly snake from the dog’s jaws, she went to pull her phone from her gown pocket. The dog took this as a moment of freedom, careening into Luna’s legs and sending her tumbling, and in the process? She accidentally answered that phone call.
Thankfully, assuming Sean wasn’t a foot guy, the only thing that would be visible on the call right now would be one of her feet as she had landed smack on her ass in the middle of the apartment. What she had not taken into account was now that she had to somehow have this conversation, after answering it with her feet being in view, and the sound of her going ass over tit.
“So, I didn’t realise the time. And… Do you have dogs, angel? We have this one crazy little demon. Duchess, named after Alex’s fuckin’ childhood farm creature. Anyway, we do not have an apartment big enough for this beastie, and she decided that this morning was THE day to run roughshod over us. So, if you do not mind a smidge, I’m going to need an extra… twenty minutes to put my life together. That fine with you, sugar? I can’t hear you, so I’m going to assume yes. Thank you! ” Luna started word vomiting, as she sprawled towards her phone. For emphasis she managed to hit the hang-up button with her toe.
Rolling over and pushing herself onto her feet, she grumbled. Duchess had decided that she was now all tuckered out and was going to lay down on the couch for an early morning nap.
“You naughty little bitch.” Luna said with a heavy sigh. Admitting defeat in this moment, she waddled her way back into the bedroom. Make-up being applied, hair dryer on and drying her hair. Nineteen minutes later, she was actually put together. The sniffling at her feet alerted her to the fact that Duchess had not continued her nap and was now wanting attention. Despite her earlier attempts to kill Luna.
Phone out, cigarette hanging from her lip again. Dressing gown off, simple white crop on, leather jacket over the top. Skinny black jeans, and she was a star in the making once again. Not the disheveled woman who previously answered the phone with only her foot.
“Come on sweetheart. We need to talk to the boy with the funny accent.” Luna cooed to the dog, playing with her ears and ruffling the fur on her head. Striding through the apartment, she stepped out onto the balcony. Twenty one minutes after the initial call, and she felt ready to be human once more.
Cigarette lit, a quick selfie camera check, and she was ready to go. Facetime may be one of the worst things ever invented. She was not a fan. Alas, the forsaking that one must make. She unlocked, hit the call history and held the phone out. Duchess clambering up into her lap. The goofy beagle, and the surprisingly put-together, sharp-featured lady. The call was answered, and there they were. Face-to-face once again for the first time in nearly seven months. Surely it couldn’t through a screen.
“Okay, once again. Apologies for earlier. This little creature is a menace until she’s had a morning lay down, and now she’s all better. But that’s enough about enough, lover. You’ve seen my dainty little piggies, so the least you can do is tell me a bit about yourself, Mr Brand New Daddio.” Sean just looked mildly amused, as if he were still trying to get used to Luna’s nuances and personality. He waved a hand in a dismissive manner.
“It’s all good, Luna, it’s all good. I do find it slightly amusing though that you can go from German suplexing someone through a flaming table to getting bowled over by a beagle.”Sean chuckled to himself. Luna smiled in response, ruffling the ears of the dopey little creature that was resting in her lap. A stark contrast to the violent woman Sean had noted.
“Well, sometimes little baby angels like this one are the biggest trials and tribulations. People are easy, little doggies like this one? Now that’s hard, sugar. Alex wanted a cat, I wanted a dog. We compromised, and got a dog, and now she punishes me for my choices. She loves him, and mostly wants me to have an unfortunate accident. Don’t you sweet girl?” Luna spoke softly, the longer she drawled on, the more her accent reverted to home. Less of the world, and more of the south.
“Well, I can’t speak for pets, although I am more of a dog guy myself. I do have a baby girl here though. She’s only a week old but she’s already proving to be quite the handful. If this is what she’s like in days I can only imagine what it’s going to be when she’s at school…”Into view of the camera, was the image of a little baby girl. It was hard to see in a FaceTime conversation and Sean had clearly managed to do what most parents seem to and master the art of juggling two things at once. The baby’s face was smooshed up, buried into Sean’s neck as he leaned his cheek into hers.
“...but I’ll worry about that later.”Luna swooned at the sight of the baby. The dog was a surrogate for a baby in her life. She’d never felt all that maternal, but there was something about the sight of children that warmed her inside. Though she’d never really want to put another Pasilno into this world.
“Animals fill that void. Raven got the snip many moons ago, and we can’t… we don’t want kids really. But I do love the smell of little ones.” Luna said softly, seemingly catching herself at one point.
She took a long drag on her cigarette, and exhaled a heavy cloud of smoke. Something in her eyes spoke differently than what her words did. Her heart didn’t seem to entirely match up with her words.
“But enough about things that can’t use the toilet right, and smell like corn chips. We got some working to do, don’t we, sugar? So I’m thinking, we should go on a little friend date, climb some castles and see how we mesh as people.” Luna said as Duchess decided she was done being on show and took off somewhere. Luna watched her for a moment, before bringing her attention back to the call. Moreso on the little one, than Sean. The next noise that was heard wasn’t the strange Scottish-American hybrid accent she’d heard before. It was softer, gargled. It dawned on Luna that the baby had started crying.
“Sshhh, it’s okay darling, you’re alright! Yes, you are! Daddy’s right here…uh-oh, I think we have a code brown situation! Did you go fill your nappy? Did you?”Sean looked off-camera. It was times like this, that she was actively reminded as to why there was some peace in the world in not having the little stink machines.
“Babe! Can you take Amelia for a moment! She needs a clean nappy and I’m on the phone!”Moments later and a whirl of sky blue hair came into view on screen. Her face couldn’t quite be made out fully but Luna took an educated guess this was Mrs Parker as Sean gently off-handed the little one to mum.
“Thanks, babe, I appreciate it. Bye-bye darling! Daddy will come give you loads of tummy kisses after he’s done speaking to his new friend!”He turned back to the phone screen.
“Sorry about that… Meet-up? Yeah, I think that’s a great idea, actually. I’ve seen your ring-work, it speaks for itself but from my experience, two people who are great in the ring but don’t mesh as partners tend not to do so well. To be fair, Alex and I probably should get along better than we actually do but I know he’s a decent guy so if he trusts and loves you… I’m more than willing to make the effort to trust you as well. I have some promotional work SCW have requested I carry out, part of my one-off contract for the Blast From The Past in Hastings before the show. Y’know, Promote Climax Control! You’re from the UK! Hype it up, cut a promo! Perhaps we can have a little catch-up, see the sights?”“Get your lawyers to double check the contracts. Mark and Christian are sneaky, heartless fuckers.” Luna said sternly. If there was anything that was consistent in the Rabenschwarz-Pasilno household, it was a fear of authority and an assumption that their bosses were out to get them.
“Lexi-baby is… Lexi-baby. A heart hurt by the sharpness of life. He’s just protective of himself. Protective of those he loves, too. And we’re all just a little bit sideways of normal on this side of the broken fence, baby. But we always have each other. Loyalty runs deep in our kingdom.” Luna continued on. The comfort settled in a little; and with it a bit of the mask slipping. The delusional kids of The Conspiracy.
And then…
There was a loud crash from inside the apartment, and the tell-tale sound of skittering feet. Luna stood up quickly, and shook her head.
“I have to go see what destruction is being caused before I end up like a screaming baby too. I’ll message you for details on the meet-up later. Unless the dog kills me. In which case. Lovely talking to you, lover.” Luna said quickly, and without even giving it a moment to settle, had hung up and taken off.
There was a surprising amount of rubbish on the floor, and a bin that should definitely not be on its side.
It was going to be a long fucking day.
Broken Ribs and Broken Dreams
Scene Two | On-Camera
“My first year here, there were ups and downs. Rocky starts, rocky finishes. Transitional title reigns, and a less than stellar ride. But in that year I did something that almost no other woman in this company can say they even came close to. I beat Crystal for the Roulette Championship, and gave Jessie the two best matches of the entirety of her time around that division. I took the Queen of Hardcore, Alexandra Calaway and showed that she couldn’t even come close to the dance when I’m across from her.”
“I stood as the Queen of Vanity, the Queen of The Conspiracy and in that? I found myself. I found The Masochist, I found The Idol, Luna Pasilno. Shedding ideas, gimmicks and pretence. Shedding that to find myself standing tall. To find myself being the person I can be happy with. I said that this was going to be the year that I prove that I can hang. That I prove, I’m not just another pretty face. I prove that I’m more than the side piece of Alexander Raven. This? This is the year of Luna fucking Pasilno, The Idol of Sin City Wrestling. And to put my mark on it? I reminded everyone just who the fuck I am at Blaze of Glory. I broke a goddamn kendo stick over Sam Marlowe. I put that mouthy little bitch who’s crocodile mouth was writing checks her candy ass couldn’t cash, straight through a table.”
“The Conspiracy, Alexander Raven and Luna Pasilno, we aren’t here to fuck around. Oh no, sweet baby angels. We are not here to be the pretty faces and the delusional kicking blocks. We are here to show that we mean fucking business. If we’re going to be stuck here at the whims and wishes of the surrogate daddies, Mark and Christian. Then we’re going to take everything they love and break it. We’re going to throw that tantrum and spit the dummy. All the toys out, and all the kids made to cry. But right now? The Blast from the Past tournament.”
“The tournament that exists to strap a rocket to the backside of the next big names. A man and woman who, at the end of it all are guaranteed an opportunity at the World Championships of both divisions. Poetically, it would have been perfect if The Conspiracy got to do this journey together. A journey to the paired crowns. Winner takes all, would’ve been an apt end to what would have been a storybook journey. Unfortunately, the powers that be continue to pretend that they are benevolent and forgiving. That this is a case of random luck and random chance.”
“There’s no random luck in the fact that they paired Alex up with the bitch who cost him everything last year. The bitch that was the fucking unlucky thirteen for my dear husband’s twenty twenty three. There’s no random luck in that Alex is getting screwed once again. But in a shimmering beam of light. It seems that the surrogate fathers have seen the error in their ways. Punishing their perfect little baby girl, Luna Pasilno. That was a bad idea. Trying to hurt their ideal was a terrible move. Trying to hurt me? I ain’t going to burn down in fucking ash and timber.”
“So they’ve given me what I believe is the golden opportunity. Not the golden opportunity. But an opportunity regardless. Sean Parker and Luna Pasilno. The oddball couple destined to take the whole damn thing and show the world. See, I’m actually somewhat familiar with Sean’s work. Something we preach and follow in The Conspiracy is having our fucking eyes open to the world. No blinders, no ignoring what happens outside these doors. Sean is a multi time champion. He was the guaranteed draft pick in the Wit Trials of TRIAD. A series that includes some of the best in the fucking world to do it.”
“A man who went toe to toe with Matt Knox, Peter Vaughn and hell even Alexander Raven. One of few men who can claim victory over the reigning and defending monarchs of Sin City Wrestling. Sean is one of them. So with Sean at my side? I’d say that Kayla Richards only needs worry about one woman coming for not just the Bombshell Women’s World Championship, but also that lofty Mixed Tag Team belt. And though I have immense love in my heart and soul, and think the only marquee match that Sin City truly needs is the rematch of Alexander Raven and Finn Whelan, I’ll settle for Sean Parker. Every kingdom needs to be undone from the base to make it collapse. And so, if Sean needs to take the place for the interim. Then so be it.”
“But this before us? This is even deeper than that for me. Hello Kat, it’s so nice to see you back again. I do apologise for pulling the plug on our last head to head. Broken ribs are a bitch to push through, I’m sure you understand. And, admittedly. There was just a little bit of egg on my face for losing the Bombshell Internet Championship to one, Ariana Angelos, right after I’d made a mockery of every other woman on that journey. In fact, you were one of those women too, weren’t you? Yes, my precious little typewriter.”
“I took extra special notice of you in the past, Kat. The woman riding the laurels of old achievements. Dancing and prancing your way forward, riding high on the coattails of your infinitely more successful brother. A woman who is all buddy buddy with the surrogate fathers of Sin City. A woman who stands there and fawns for the adulation of a people that no longer fucking care. Ah, dear sweet Kat. Six months after you failed to win the championship that I did win. Let's say five months? Five months since I had to delay our next foray due to unforeseen medical issues. Five months and you’ve done absolutely fuck all since. Miss Manners? A fucking warm-up match and you know it.”
“There was a golden opportunity for you to stay the fuck home. There was a golden opportunity for you to take your ball and leave, and stay out of the ring. There were all the chances in the world, but some part of you. Some part of your brain demands that you come back. Waltz in and out. Leave when things get too hard, and come back when you think the playing field has devolved to your standard once again. Paired up with another hack-eye from the past in Teddy Warren. A family I’m unfortunately familiar with. A funny little one called Dawn Warren being my debut match here, in fact. You baffle me, Kat. You baffle me in ways that I cannot eloquently explain. So eloquence is not that journey here, sweet angel. No, eloquence just isn’t my fucking thing. ‘Cause this dainty little southern, she’s shown that she can fucking fight. Be it barbwire wrapped bodies, flaming fucking tables or if I get my way, chairs and brass to the skull of every mouthy bitch that decides to stick her nose into my business.”
“Kat, I want you to listen closely. I want you to understand what I’m saying. I need you to pay attention to what is going on. You are a throwaway in a tournament filled with fucking heaters. You a throwaway in a tournament where for the first time in years there is a chance for an actual challenger to the fucking crowns. You are one half, and unfortunately, the better half, of a warm up team. A team filled with a nobody and a never was. Which are you? I wonder, I wonder. Which shoe fits a little bit better for the perpetual failure that is the project of Kat Jones?”
“But this isn’t all about us, no, no. No this is more than our little tête-à-tête. I haven’t forgotten about sweet little Teddy Warren. No, no, Teddy. Teddy come to mama darling, I have many things to talk to you about. How nice it is to see you again. The man who has to overcome so much to be here. Another member of the Warren family who has done absolutely fuck all to make their name mean a single fucking thing in this business. A former Roulette Champion and…. Well that’s about it, isn’t it, Teddy? Oh, poor sweet Tedward. I know how hard it must be for you. To come back and think that things are going to be any different for you. The Blast from the Past tournament, thinking you might get paired up with the likes of a Kallie Reznik or maybe even myself. Betting all your fucking chips on a big partner, and you end up with another wannabe nothing failure in Kat Jones.”
“Oh sweet angel, I do feel for you. Not only do you have possibly the worst partner in all of the tournament. Hell, I think even Bea Barnhart would’ve given you more chances than little ol’ Kat Jones. But then you draw, for my own money, and not to toot my own horn. I am humble after all. You draw the favourites. You draw the team that everyone has their eyes on because there is no doubt. There is no question. There is no other answer. The winners of the Blast from the Past tournament. You’re fucking looking at ‘em. Luna Pasilno and Sean Parker.”
“So, Teddy. I hope you signed for some good money. Though, maybe being able to pay this month’s rent was enough of a lure for you. Because this is a one and done for you both. A one and done and then you and Kat Jones. You can pack your bags and get back in the seats where you belong. Watching the rest of us go to fucking work. Watching those of us who can fucking fight.”“And remember.”
“The Conspiracy is here.”
A Hastings Event
Scene Three | Off-Camera(ish)
William the Conqueror, the invading Normans. The fall and failure of King Harold II, and all that was left of that iconic event in history, were these crumbling ruins. These privately owned, crumbling ruins. These ruins that looked like steps. These ruins that looked like they were begging to be climbed. There was a twinge of sadness. Being here and not being here with Alex. The King and Queen of The Conspiracy. There was a picture perfect example of that of which Alex had talked about for years here. The crumbling and decaying castles of the invisible hands that control them.
Or something like that.
The twinge of sadness was quickly overruled by the arrival of this innate desire. An innate desire to climb. An urge to cause chaos. To put the Sin City legal team to work, seeing as they had done their damndest to ensure Alex and Luna didn’t get a break. So here Luna was, looking over the green hills of the iconic sight. Her eyes fixated on a low wall, that led to a slightly higher wall, that led to the top of a doorway, and in turn the top of a crumbling battlement.
Sean was off doing his TV duties. Filming for whatever it was he was filming for. She was certain he had told her, but truth be told. She was mostly distracted by the baby. Both of the babies. The dog and the actual child. But she could see them some distance away. Filming on the battlefield itself. Which meant that all the attention was focused elsewhere. Which meant that Luna could become the conquering Queen of the ruins.
It was but a flash of movement. She ran up unto the low wall. Running the full length of it, as nearby tourists cast sideways glances. One person looked ready to say something, but decided against it after getting a proper look at Luna. Her athleticism was going to pay dividends. She leapt up onto the next wall, clearing a larger than it looked gap. Ignoring the crumbling of stones, she crawled her way up along the wall and on top of the doorway section. Staff taking note of her now.
“Excuse me miss! You can’t be up there. You need to get down!” One of them shouted, a few people now stopping to gawk and stare.
“Sorry, I don’t speak United Kingdomnian. Only American.” Luna mocked as she scrambled further up. If they wanted her down, they’d have to get her down themselves. Which from the looks of it, was unlikely to happen. What was the worst that could happen?
Springing further up, she climbed to the top of the wall, and sat on the L bend. Stones skittering and falling. The staff were conversing between themselves trying to work out what they could do to get her off the ruins without a big how-to-do. Luna, being pretty chuffed with herself, simply swung her legs and stared out into the distance.
‘Get a snap for Alex.’ she thought to herself quietly, taking her phone out.
A quick selfie, shot off to him. It seemed like Sean had finished up his obligations too as he was walking toward her.
With the camera crew.
Who were still recording.
She thought about quickly climbing down. Getting off the cameras as she wildly disrespected these protected ruins. But then decided against it as it would be a great little thing for the cameras to catch. What were Mark and Christian going to do about it? Fire her? They had yet to find a punishment that was actually going to work.
Luna! Fuck sake!” Sean shouted out at her. She simply smiled down at him, as he waved off the camera crew.
“Hi Sean, baby. Nice to see you again!” Luna shouted down, standing up slowly. Looking down she squared herself up, and took aim.
“Catch me.” Luna said and took a step forward. And then she was sailing down off the ruins and straight towards Sean. It was at this moment, she really thought some extra warning probably would have protected her. Too late for that now.
And then…
