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Climax Control Archives / Candy Crush
« on: July 22, 2022, 08:29:50 PM »

Fine 'n Dandy Like Broken Candy


Now! You all understand that the last time that you saw our dear little sweeties, otherwise known as the Metal Maniacs, you were being told a grand tale of two darling young women who walked into the door of the famed GO Gym with their best male pal and were introduced to the world of professional wrestling? Yeah well, that was all a load of baloney. Did any of you ACTUALLY believe that Iron Maiden, Twisted Sister OR Anthrax were trained by the same establishment known for such wrestling greats as Evie Jordan, Fenris and London Underground? No! No, wait. Not just no but HELL no!

So wait, just where were the Metal Maniacs trained for the sport, and how did they come to be introduced to the wild and wacky business that you tune in to watch, week in and week out? Well, we know bits and pieces of the hows, namely a certain mental physician by the name of Doctor Kraven Moorehead - seriously! That IS the man's name! He is the man that brought Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister into the business as a means of occupational therapy - if you will. But Anthrax? And the fact their in-ring training (what little the women of this psychotic stable possess) remains a mystery to this day?

Well, perhaps one day that mystery will be explained, but much like unsolved mysteries such as Jack the Ripper and the Loch Ness Monster? The fun is in the not knowing, and if one day the answers come to us? Much of the magic behind the mystery will be lost for good, never to return.

Mumbai

Which is why we're going to pretend that your curiosity has yet to kill the proverbial cat, and instead skip the line of questioning and get right to the business at hand. Who would have ever expected Sin City Wrestling to ever make the foray into India for a full-fledged tour, but that is exactly what the hierarchy has done for the now-coined "India Summer 2022" tour. But considering the following this sport has in this country, it can be believed and even appreciated. What has actually perplexed so many more was that somehow, for some unexplainable reason, they have brought along this violent trio for at least a small portion of the tour.

But they have also opted to make Twisted Sister the very first person that the returning Candy would set foot inside of the ring against.

Hunh! And they call the  Metal Maniacs nuts!

Near the Gateway of Mumbai, roughly ten minutes southwest of the famed historical landmark, is the Colaba Causeway Market. A famed bazaar that sells everything one might imagine, and more. And when your mind is in a perpetual state of psychosis such as the Metal Maniacs, that imagination can run quite deep. That is why we find the infamous Anthrax, walking through the Bazaar with a swagger and a ghastly smile, weaving through the many stalls and stands, offering up everything from colorful rugs and clothes, to food stuffs and hand-crafted toys and just about everything in between. Anthrax has been described by his doctors as being the most dangerous of the Metal maniacs simply because his mind is not as entirely gone as that of Twisted Sister nor Iron Maiden, but that doesn't make him any less diabolical. If anything, he's even more so.

And yes, indeed. Anthrax was in his full wrestling personae; that dry, tattered clown makeup etched on an otherwise quite handsome face while his street clothes of a sleeveless T shirt and jeans were tattered and stained with ominous copper tone spots and splashes. But oh, he was not alone. Because what good would this story be without the very one who would soon be making the life of Candy - 2021's Most Popular Wrestler of the Year - absolutely nightmarish? Yes, Twisted Sister followed Anthrax throughout the market, her discolored eyes never once looking toward where she was going nor were they on the back of the man escorting her throughout. No, they were instead glued on the tablet in her hands as she poked and swiped a forefinger on the screen of the tablet, attempting to match rows of candies, and growing more impatient and erratic as she does so.

Yes - Twisted Sister was actually playing Candy Crush!

But it would seem that Anthrax found what he was looking for as he, and his pal, arrived at a particular stall that was being run by six women, all members of the same family and in three separate generations. Funny thing; none of the women even so much as blinked as the two ghoulish characters stepped up to their street business, as Anthrax smiled his best, which was enough to send chills down the average spine.

Anthrax: You sell, candy?

At the mere mention of the word candy, Twisted Sister's attention was pulled from the game in her hand and her eyes wandered around Anthrax and to the bounty of homemade goodies that were on full display at the family's stall. She all but walked into Anthrax's back and gripped his shoulder tightly in her fingers with her free hand, staring over his shoulder at the offerings, amongst them taffys of a variety of flavors. Fudges. Cookies. Hand dipped chocolates. Sugar candies. Rock candy. Even the more traditional Indian candies like Laddu and Besan Ladoo.

Woman: Yes sir. We have quite the selection and... oh my.

Anthrax turned around to see what had caught the woman's attention and there was a small crowd of Mumbai citizens, men and women, adults and children, gathered close by and their eyes were on Twisted Sister. Little known fact: India was second only to the United States when it came to fandom for sports entertainment. One would think Japan would be ranked second, but nope! India had that distinction. And right now it would seem a large number of members of the SCW Universe had seen and recognized these two and were watching in awe as they went about their business.

Twisted Sister's attention had gone back to her game which was an ominous forbearance toward her future opponent, while Anthrax turned back to the stall's proprietor and flashed the local currency in hand.

Anthrax: I'd like a sample bag for my friend here. Let's say... ten of each candy you have to offer?

Ten - of each? That was quite the order but the matriarch of the family knew it was a good sale for her family's business and she and her daughters and granddaughter went right to work, filling the order. While he waited, Anthrax turned back to watch in bemused wonder when three preteens slowly approached Twisted Sister from behind with smiles on their faces and a camera in the hand of one. Obviously looking for a souvenir before Sunday's big show. One of the kids reached Twisted Sister's side and started to speak...

Kid: Excuse m-

And that was all it took for Twisted Sister to spin around and SCREAM like the wild, insane woman that she was!

Twisted Sister: EEEYYYAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Causing the three kids to turn and run back to their families, with other kids who started to approach following suit. But none of them were truly fearful or even upset. No, they were actually SMILING! Smiling and -- laughing? Twisted Sister watched them for a brief moment, her head tilted to the side with insane curiosity, before she turned back around to resume her game of Crushing Candy, er - Candy Crush!

Which was when the order was filled and an "Pardon me, sir?" had drawn Anthrax's attention back to the family stall, and the large box of candies being held out to him. Anthrax giggled like a lunatic, taking the box while passing the payment to the matriarch's waiting hand.

Anthrax: Thank you.

He said bashfully, like a great big kid, when a high pitched shriek and the sound of something being struck repeatedly drew his attention, and those around him. heads turned to see Twisted Sister smacking her palm into the screen of the tablet and she suddenly swung it in a downward spiral, slamming it against the street once, twice, three t8imes until there was little recognizable of the handheld device.

Anthrax walked over to where Twisted Sister stared down at the tablet's remains and he cocked his head to the left.

Anthrax: Did that mean ol' game win, again?

Twisted Sister growled a low, guttural sound as she looked at him, then down at the tablet. Anthrax jetted out his bottom lip in sympathy.

Anthrax: Aww!


OYO 10001 Hotel Blue Ocean

Deep down beneath the archaic accommodations of the Metal Maniacs, below even the lowest room was the boiler room where the hotel staff kept the hotel's water and heat running smoothly when needed. And it was also in the dark recesses of the boiler room where Anthrax was found deep in thought and contemplation.

Well, he was actually playing a rousing game of Candyland but for him? Same thing! With the game board spread out on the floor before him, and Anthrax laid out in front of his, chest down with his feet kicked up in the air, Anthrax's eyes remained on the game as he drew a colored card - red in this case, and moved his token the appropriate number of spaces.

Anthrax: Rock candy. Peanut brittle. Three Musketeers. Boogers. Laffy Taffy.

Anthrax giggled at the name 'Laughy Taffy'.

Anthrax: Candy corn! Gobstoppers! Black licorice! Tootsie rolls! These are the worst candies for little, itty bitty childrens. The worst for their teeth, but the best for the Tooth Fairy because we all know that selfish bitch is out for herself!

Anthrax gasped and put a hand over his mouth.

Anthrax: Oh my, did I utter a curse? Oh well, it's all for a good cause because this is what you might call a public service announcement. The worst candies. The stupidest candies. The most brittle of candies. But you know something? All of those candies in all three categories fail in comparison when it comes to the worst of the worst, and that worst is...

He twirled a forefinger and pointed it right in the camera.

Anthrax: Boop! You - Candy! You, silly girl! Oh Candy, so sweet. Always anxious for play dates and meeting new friends well that's good! Guess what? You have a new friend to make when you have your play date with Twisted Sister! And this is going to be a very special time between the two of you because you always see the very best in your friends, and the fun times ahead are going to really test that outlook on your life because Twisted Sister? She plays rough. And when she's not allowed to bring her favorite toys to play, she just finds new and innovative ways to make her games even MORE fun! But you, Candy? Candy crushed? Candy Caned? Oh you look like the type of Candy that breaks when you place the slightest amount of pressure to it. I hope that's not the case because it would be a terrible thing for your playtime to just end like that!

He snapped his fingers.

Anthrax: After all, what's the point in even scheduling this fun time to be had between the two of you if you're just going to fall apart? I mean, I can understand if you scream in pain or cry buckets of tears. That's half the FUN!

He clapped the palms of his hands together.

Anthrax: But where is the fun in a game when it's over too quickly? So I am going to do you a little favor. I am going to take Twisted Sister aside and I am going to ask her not to play TOO roughly, TOO fast. I'm going to ask her to draw it out. She likes fun as much as we all do, and I'm sure she'll be only too happy to stretch the game out and make it last. Last right up until the breaking point, where she is going to stop because we can't have too much fun, too fast, now can we? You know what they say about too much of a good thing! She'll let you catch your breath (maybe) and rest up a moment or two (not really) and then the fun will begin anew! Won't that be FUN!?

His face took on a snarl, and he shook his head.

Anthrax: What? No? You're scared? You don't like to play rough? WELL IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU NOW IS IT!? STOP BEING SO SELFISH CANDY! THERE ARE OTHERS OUT FOR A BIT OF FUN AND ENJOYMENT TOO!

And just as quickly as the shouting started, it suddenly stopped and Anthrax smiled slowly and started to laugh.

Anthrax: Hahaha! It's okay, Candy. There's no reason to be scared. After all, it's just a game. And Twisted Sister hasn't met a piece of Candy that she hasn't enjoyed sinking her teeth into.

And that being said, Anthrax turned his attention away from the camera to resume his game.
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Supercard Archives / Fantasy -- or reality?
« on: July 02, 2022, 06:54:43 PM »
 
The Go Gym

The epicenter of all things professional wrestling! Ever since the very beginning of Sin City Wrestling right up to our current timeline, when wrestling schools were discussed by fandoms, the GO Gym was one of the ones discussed most frequently and with the most reverence. After all, with names such as Evie Jordan, the London Underground and Fenris - among others - listed amongst their graduating classes, you could understand why this facility in particular was mentioned so often and with such respect. Both Gabriel and Odette Stevens took everything that they learned throughout their years in the sport and used that knowledge and wisdom to better train the young men and women who walked through those hallowed doors to pursue the very same dreams that they had once held themselves. And now? They were about to take on the task of training two more.


The young, voluptuous damsel on the left? Her name would just so happen to be Teagan Moore. And her bosom chum that you see to her right? That young woman is Irene Clark. When you look at the two, you wouldn’t exactly think either one would belong in the world of professional wrestling, would you? Teagan looks as though she could be on the cover of a magazine, if not one for the fashion industry, then certainly one of those Hot Rod magazines, draped over the hood of some speed racer for the drooling male masses. (Okay, the times are changing! You can include the female drooling masses too, I suppose!) And her best friend Irene? She just looks like that everyday girl next door, wouldn’t you say? Not the sort who would be laying sprawled out on a car hood like her bestie, but more so the girl who you might find working under the hood., just as capable as any of her male friends. Quite the pair, yes?

And yet here the two young women were, seated in the main office of the famed GO Gym, and seated across from none other than the patriarch of perhaps the most famous wrestling school currently in operation; the man Gabriel Stevens himself. See, that’s the thing about Gabriel and by extension, his wife Odette who also played a big hand in the training of the next generation of wrestling stars. Where many instructors and heads of training schools would just take your money and throw you to the wolves, the Stevens took strict care unto just whom they allow to set foot past their doors. They conducted extensive interviews with each prospective charge, ensuring that not only did they possess the mental fortitude to extend past these walls and into the rough and tumble sport they had their hopes and dreams pinned upon, but also whether or not they had a fall back plan - just in case things did not work out as one might hope and they were forced to rely on other options for a career.

Gabriel and Odette cared about what happened with these students of theirs, both before, during and most definitely after they left their Gym officially and made their way into the unforgiving world of professional wrestling.


Alan Campbell. Rather devilishly handsome fella, wouldn’t you agree? Oh sure, the glasses give him an air of sophistication and the allure of brain power, but take those away and he’s actually quite the handsome young man. He sat in the middle chair, between his two besties as Gabriel finally looked up from the clipboard that had the two applications that Teagan and Irene had filled out. Gabriel tapped the end of his ink pen against his bottom lip before he looked up to their expectant gazes collectively.

Gabriel: “Well I have to admit that your education resumes are impressive.”

He looked toward Teagan.

Gabriel: “You have a degree in nursing and you…?”

He shifted his gaze to Irene.

Gabriel: “A Masters in psychology. So, I have to ask…?”

Teagan: “Why wrestling?”

Gabriel found himself yielding with a nod.

Gabriel: “I don’t like to question the decisions of pros[ective students but…”

He looked at their applications and blew out a shrill whistle from his pursed lips.

Gabriel: “You ladies could make a killing in either one or both of these fields! Yeet you want to put your bodies on the line in this sport?”

They both nodded, neither saying a word.

Gabriel: “Do you mind if I ask why?”

This time, it was Irene who answered dutifully.

Irene: “I admit we both know we could make more in the medical fields than as a wrestler, and we’d be sacrificing our bodies on a weekly basis…”

Gabriel: “...But?”

Irene: “The truth is that those degrees were just to keep our families happy. Both of our parents wanted us to be doctors or lawyers and we did go to college to make them happy and we both got good degrees…”

Teagan: “But it was more or less just for show.”

Gabriel: “Just … for show?”

They both nodded.

Teagan: “We love our families, we do. But the truth Gabriel is that both of us grew up in extreme controlling circumstances. We were told what we had to study and when, what we could eat, there were no phones or video games allowed…”

Irene: “Neither of us were allowed to date and we even had to have our parents’ approval to have friends!”

Gabriel raised a single eyebrow in wonder.

Gabriel: “Wow.”

Irene: “So you can see why we’re keeping this a secret from our families – for now.”

Teagan: “Yes, we told everyone we were going to graduate school to further our studies.”

Gabriel: “I see, so tell me then…”

He turned his head and suddenly Alan found Gabriel’s attention focused solely on him.

Gabriel: “Mind if I ask where you come into all of this? Are you one of the approved friends?”

Alan: Oh no, sir.”

He shook his head.

Alan: “I’m one of the friends both of their parents disapproved of. But we became friends anyway. We just had to keep it hush hush so they didn’t make their lives any more of a controlling nightmare than it already was.”

Gabriel: “Mind if I ask why they didn’t approve of you?”

Alan sighed, his shoulders yielding in a light shrug.

Alan: “I guess because I came from a single parent home. And the fact my mom is open about being gay. And I found work as a mechanic to help her out with bills…”

Gabriel: “Well I don’t see how her being gay is any business of theirs or how it reflects on you… but working a hard job to help your mom out with bills? I’d think that would only help you out in their eyes.”

Teagan: “You’d think, wouldn’t you?”

Gabriel looked back down at the clipboard in his hands and then rummaged around in the papers on the surface of his desk.

Gabriel: “But you didn’t fill out an application for the Gym too, Alan? Why?”

Alan: “I… didn’t think I would have to? I mean, we thought we could come as a packaged deal… and I could be their manager or escort or whatever you call it?”

Gabriel: “Well son, it doesn’t quite work out that way. Even managers get hard pressed into the ring every now and then. You might even get bit by the wrestling bug yourself so whether as a manager or a wrestler, if you get inside of the ring, you need to know what you’re doing to better protect yourself and your opposition.”

Gabriel opened up a drawer on his desk and removed an application and offered it over to the hands of Alan.

Gabriel: “Fill that out while the ladies here get the grand tour from my wife. Maybe you’ll be able to catch up quickly enough to graduate with them.”

Teagan and Irene looked at each other with smiles before turning their attention to Gabriel.

Irene: “You mean … we’re in?”

Gabriel just answered with a smile as…. As the scene slowly shifted. Faded out in a wavy haze and things turned bleak. Dark. Blank.

**THUD!** **THUD!** **THUD!**

“No. Nonono! That’s not how it went. That’s not what happened… Oh if it were only so... but those voices. Oh they are annoying but they do come up with some wonderful little stories!”

**THUD!** **THUD!** **THUD!**

The soft, pounding sound could be heard in the darkness that blanketed the room like some ebony shroud that covered the eyes, preventing all else from being seen. Not so much a pound as the noise one’s fist might make when striking the pillow beneath your own head to soften it up for a restful slumber. Only this thud never seemed to end, it continued to repeat like a vinyl record skipping and repeating the same verse continuously. The room itself was large, closed off from the outside world, and it would soon be revealed why as a soft, yellow light overhead illuminated a single spot on the padded floor against the padded wall…

Wait, padded floor? Padded wall?

The explanation could not be more clear as the figure huddled in a seated position against the padding was lurched over at the waist, then reared back and hit the back of his head once again, but did little to no damage thanks in part to the cushions that lined the walls. His face was familiar with that ghastly smile that could curdle milk, and only the faintest traces of the ghoulish clown makeup that he had come to be known for – Anthrax. Barefoot, dressed in the usual hospital pajamas on his lower body and his upper body bound and restrained in a leather straight jacket, it would be hard pressed to explain how he could be smiling like he was, or why the previous fantasy had played itself out in the psychotic recesses of his mind.

He giggled, biting at his bottom lip as he shook his head, his flaxen, blonde hair falling over his forehead and into his ghostly gray eyes.

Anthrax: “No… no. No, that’s not how it happened. Just a dream. Just a beautiful dream.”

His head fell forward and a breath escaped him as slowly, he righted himself and this time the smile was more subdued, but still pronounced.

Anthrax: “Can you ever forgive me, for misleading you? For bringing you here into my world? I just thought we should talk, just the three of us. Three? Hm? Oh, yes. I suppose an explanation is in order. All the other times you’ve seen me, I’ve been free as a bird. Just the ornery little scamp that you’ve come to know over the years, making mischief wherever I go. And yet, look at me now! You see, I checked myself in here just a few days ago. It helps me to think, and when we heard about this silly little play date between my girls and the GO Gym girls, I knew I had a lot of thinking to do about this little adventure that we’re all going to have fun with together! So yeah…”

He showed his pearly whites and bobbed his head up and down in a gleeful display.

Anthrax: “I was thinking ALLLL about you, Krystal and Ariana.”

His head fell to his right shoulder and his mouth opened to which he chuckled and licked at his dry lips.

Anthrax: “Ooo! The GO Gym graduates! I guess that means I should be worried – or my girls should be? Because, well we all know about just how successful anyone who comes out of that school happens to be. It doesn’t really matter if it’s a man or a woman, whoever goes into that Gym as a wet behind the ears loser, comes out a changed success story. Well…!”

He shrugged his shoulders.

Anthrax: “Almost every loser. Unless you count Tallyn who was gone pretty much as quickly as she showed up.”

He pursed his lips and whistled while shaking his head in mock disbelief.

Anthrax: “I just bet Gabriel and Odette wish they could strike THAT ONE from their record books! Then there’s Devona who, well I suppose she was successful with a decent win-loss record and even got an Internet title for her troubles, but as soon as she lost that belt? She got up and left. Haven’t really heard much from her except for the random tweets that nobody really cares about. Then there’s names like Ariana Angelos and Krystal Wolfe and I – D’OH! Those are the opponents for this match, aren’t they? Where IS my head?”

He flopped his head back against the padded wall once again, neck craned back so his eyes stared straight up at the single bulb that shined down into his ‘dead’ eyes. The corner up his lips curved upward before he righted himself to stare back into the camera again.

Anthrax: “Sorry. But considering recent events, you can forgive me for lumping them in with the rest of the riff raff, can’t you? I mean, Ariana … Ari … I can call you Ari, right? I mean, seeing as how we’re such good friends? Ari here was … ‘decent’ enough when she was down there in Sin City Underground. She held the Pride Tag Team titles way back when with her ‘bestie’ Carter, and they held onto those titles a pretty decent time for as chaotic as that division can be. But let’s be honest, hm? Who won the titles for that team? Carter. Who racked up the most wins in their championship defenses? Carter. Who took the fall when they finally lost the belts? How the hell should I know!? I’m not Mercedes Vargas! I’m not a historian and quite frankly, I don’t CARE! But funny thing in SCU; they are ab;e to compete for more than one championship at a time, unlike in SCW. So both Carter and Ari tried for a singles run at the same time as when they still had the gold. And after they lost the belts? Carter really shined once he dropped the dead weight! Who knew he had it in him to win and defend the Combat championship??? And he even went on to win the top title, the Underground championship! Youngest Underground champion in history! And Ari….?”

He turned his head and leaned over as if to hear something… anything. If there were crickets in the room, that would be the only answer forthcoming. Anthrax nodded and leaned back against the wall.

Anthrax: “Yeah… that pretty much sums it up. Our friend Ari here was midcard at best in SCU, and she hasn’t really expanded past that now that she’s moved on up. The only real success she experienced was when she teamed with Carter, and let’s face it; he carried that team. And selfish? Whew! I didn’t think sweet little Ari could be so selfish but she proved herself wrong when she tried to pressure/guilt poor Carter into trying to regain the Pride championship with her for a second time, DESPITE the fact that he expressed an interest in getting out of the tag team ranks and trying to make it as a singles wrestler. Tsk, tsk, Ari! I mean, I can understand the desperation to be relevant again, but really! He’s supposed to be your pal and you tried to weigh him down just so you could be a champion again. Because let’s face it…!”

He leaned forward and laughed.

Anthrax: “The only way you could pick up a significant win or a championship is by depending on someone else! Hahahahaha!!! But let’s give her the benefit of the doubt, hm? This isn’t SCU. It’s SCW! I mean, surely now that Ari is here, her track record will follow her and she’ll experience just as much access here as she did down.. Oh, wait.”

He cringed.

Anthrax: “Sorry! My bad! But when you get right down to it, Ari isn’t exactly what you would call the loyal sort. I mean, as soon as SCU announced that it would be closing its doors, Ari just up and split! Ran for higher ground before SCU could even give us any details on their farewell tour or the final plans… nope! Like a rat deserting a sinking ship!”

His eyes opened wide.

Anthrax: “So I guess that means that Krystal had better watch her back because when things go to hell against my girls…! Well if history tells us anything, it tells us that Ari will be running and leaving Krystal dry!”

“And I am only saying this out of love, Krystal. Tough love! You know you can trust me – right? Well don’t you worry sweet cakes! You’ll make it through this relatively unscathed. I guess. I mean, if you’re lucky… if?”

He looked away, with a frown on his face and eyes squinted as if in deep thought or contemplation.

Anthrax: “If? There is NO ‘if' when it comes to Krystal Wolfe and luck! Krystal has to be the luckiest girl to have ever signed on the dotted line! I mean she lucked out when she applied to the GO Gym and they actually took her on. And she lucked out when she implied she was one of their first graduates, predating Evie herself and nobody called her out on her bullsh-lies! All lies! I mean, if any of that was true, then why oh why did nobody ever hear of her until WAY after Evie called it quits and Krystal just sort of… snuck in under the radar? Telling us she graduated from the GO academy before names like Devona and London Underground and even Fenris! Yet! Nobody! Heard! Of! Her!!! Do you GET what I’m saying!? I thought maybe Krystal had to be worried about Ari’s loyalty and trust but can any of us really trust Krystal - if that IS her real name!?”

“Now granted, she started off in SCU just like her buddy, if you can call it that. The bosses down there didn’t even try with her so maybe they saw something in her that the rest of us didn’t care about? They didn’t even bother pushing or promoting her so she went to greener pastures like the cow that she is, and signed to SCW where she’d get the respect she THOUGHT she deserved! She started off slow but then lucked out (again) and actually won the Roulette championship! Well BRAVO, Krystal! I’d applaud your efforts but I’m a little bit tied up at the moment.”

He threw his head back and cackled at his own self deprecating joke.

Anthrax: “The Roulette title is the bottom of the barrel as far as success stories goes, ranks right down there with the mixed tag team titles. And Krystal was the champion! So that made her - what? The best of the worst?”

He jetted out his bottom lip and nodded.

Anthrax: “Makes sense! And as soon as she lost it, she rose to the occasion and it was just one success story after another and I…”

He stopped just as quickly as he had started, his eyes shifting from left to right until he smiled again and shook his head.

Anthrax: “Sorry! … The voices! Sometimes they like to rewrite history to give us those happy endings that we all crave. But let’s be honest, hm Krystal? It’s been one crash and burn after another. And then here we find ourselves on a cruise, ready to play with each other. I just hope that you’ve been working out because you’re obviously going to be carrying around a LOT of dead weight. And I am not talking about my girls, Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister. No, I’m talking about…”

He looked from left to right as if to see if anyone was listening in, before he leaned in to whisper…

Anthrax: “Ariana… So in one last parting shot, might I suggest that you stiffen up, Ari? For your partner’s benefit, of course. It’s easier to carry rather than going limp like dead weight. And we all know that Ari is only a success story when she’s a part of something bigger.”

Just then, the sound of keys in a metal door was heard and the soft unlatching of the lock’s tumblers was detected. The door to the padded cell then swung open and the lights turned on, causing Anthrax to squint as Nurse Iron Maiden and Nurse Twisted Sister entered the room. While Nurse Maiden undid the shackle on his bare ankle with a key, Nurse Sister worked on undoing the straps that secured his arms around his upper body. Anthrax looked up at both nurses’ and smiled.

Anthrax: “Is it visiting hours already or are you here to save me?”

Both Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister looked up from him into each others’ dark eyes – and they screamed in glee! They then looked down at Anthrax and a moment passed – before all three fell to the padded floor and rolled around, laughing maniacally and kicking their legs in the air like children!
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Climax Control Archives / Playing with FRIENDS!
« on: May 27, 2022, 10:14:40 PM »
 
"Oh look little Masque,
Whom everyone fears,
In a way that is completely lost unto me,
Because she may be scary,
But against us they best be wary,
And run like maniacs and flee!"

The Asylum

oo! it HAS been awhile since we've last visited this rather nefarious little watering hole in the stinkhole of the mental health industry, hasn't it? Last time when the 2022 Blast From the Past came a calling and Jack Russow aka "Pretty Bird" was in need of a partner, our good ol' pal Anthrax came to the rescue and had his buddy Twisted Sister released for outstanding behavior!

Or at least, that's what he reasoned with when he had the facility tech imprisoned in a straight jacket and gagged so they could make their escape - RELEASE! Release. I meant release.

I swear I did!

But once again, here we are! Only this time, Anthrax and Twisted Sister came to pay another social call. The fact that they were disguised as a doctor and nurse are completely lost in logic - especially when Anrthrax was dressed as he nurse and Twisted Sister as the doctor....

Twisted Sister: Hiiii Nuuurrrseee!

The outburst from the crazed "doctor" caused the registered nurse behind the desk to almost fall back out of her chair, the papers in front of her scattering everywhere to the floor at the soles of her perfectly polished and sensible shoes.

Nurse Ratchet: Oh DRAT! Excuse me for a moment!

The nurse dropped down and to her knees to begin picking up the mess. Anthrax leans over the edge of the desk to watch for a brief moment before he stood upright and whispered something to Twisted Sister and giggled like a little boy who just told his first dirty joke - which he just did. Twisted Sister whipped around with her finger to her lips and hushed him...

Twisted Sister: SHHHH!!!!

Anthrax: IIIIT!!!

The two Maniacs looked at each other and shrieked in maddening laughter!E the nurse finished gathering her papers and started to look up....

Nurse Ratchet: Was there something you needed...?

It was then she finally got a full on look at who was standing there and her eyes widened.

Nurse Ratchet: ... Doctor...?

Twisted Sister: Did we have an attack of the clumsies!? That's a real medical terminology you know!

Nurse Ratchet: No, Docrtor I... did... not....

She stood upright and finally got a look at Anthrax who was leaning down so just his face from the nose up was visible over the counter and he winked, waving his fingers idly at her in a silent and flirtatious hello. The Nurse cleared her throat.

Nurse Ratchet: Still... it is rather easy to be startled when someone sneaks up on you and screams like what just happened.

Twisted Sister's eyes widened, then she swiftly turned to Anthrax.

Twisted Sister: yeah, what'd you do that for!?

To which Anthrax turned to confront...

Anthrax: Yeah! What'd you do that for...!?

His own reflection. He blinked. Stared. Then turned to the two women and pointed at his reflection and whispered...

Anthrax: I don't trust that guy! He looks shifty!

Nurse Ratchet: Was there something that I can do for you... doctor?

Twisted Sister beckoned her closer with a wag of the finger and when the nurse drew in closer...

Twisted Sister: We're here to make a withdrawal.

The nurse looks thoroughly confused, and rightly so, as she looks from left to right and then asks...

Nurse Ratchet: I beg your pardon?

Not even having seen Anthrax sneaking stealthily around the corner of the desk and up behind her...

***

And mere moments later, the doors to the Asylum swing open in one big burst as the metal maniacs trio are reunited once again! Anthrax! Twisted Sister and the Iron Maiden as they walk out the doors and down the walk ala the Monkees....



"One has to wonder, mustn't one? When one is so dependent on the fear that they induce into others as a main weapon of psychological warfare, what then do they do when they find themselves up against opponents who do not show fear? Opponents who are simply to crazy to even know what the sensation of fear feels like? Women who have been known to attack others with chainsaws... machetes... even an egg beater - but that's a story for another day. How then does the feared react when they are no longer feared but looked forward to?"

"Because in the end, that is all that this encounter is to the Metal Maniacs... a lark at the park before dark. And nothing more. The mental miasma that Masque induces on the women around her is all but lost on the Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister. Masque'[s very best "Batman intimidation tactics" mean nothing to two women who are simply -- not there. To that end, Masque may finally experience the sensation that she has bestowed on so many other women in her time."

"And Amber? ALL HAIL QUEEN AMBER! Queen Amber! Go to hail!"

"HA!"

"Another woman who relies on intimidation and fear, but not quite the same, is she? Her fear is physical... earned. Respected. A woman like her who has run so hard for so long over so many other women who have crossed her path is too used to things always going her way ... and then along comes the psychos. I don't know if it's good luck or bad that Diamond Steele wet her Depends at seeing she was up against Masque and Amber and ran, leaving Mercedes Vargas high and dry, and causing Vargas to drop out as well. But it's LUCK! You got to give it that! And here you go, Queen Amber! The chance for something new. Something fun!v New playmates!"

"So please come play with us, Amber! You can even bring your little friend along for the ride. But just so you know... we play hard. So if you bleed, you know... just a little? try not to overreact."

"It only comes naturally when you're being dismembered."
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4
Climax Control Archives / Pretty bird
« on: February 04, 2022, 07:38:02 PM »
 
“Poor little Todd, who thinks with his rod,
And fancies himself bad to the bone,
Who thinks he has friends, but when the times comes,
He’ll tragically find he has none.

So woe be to he, who has a big mouth,
And loves to flap his big yap
And he’ll find, in his deranged state of mind,
That’ll fall to the man known as Jack”

July 19, 2020

That was how long it has been since Sin City Wrestling had experienced a case of “the crazies.” That was how long it’s been since anyone had been attacked with a chainsaw, a hot iron, or an automatic hand mixer. … Trust me, you had to be there for that last one in order to believe it. But well over a year - going on two - seems like such a relatively short time, but in the world of professional wrestling? It might as well have been an eternity. So if one can spend that much time away from the sport and yet remain known and even more important - remembered - it spoke volumes on the twisted sense of impact that one had. Not just on the business itself, but on those around them.

July 19, 2020
Wow. It was before the massive pandemic had swept the world beneath all of its fury. When thousands of people whined and complained (and still do to this day) that the expected isolation was “unconstitutional” and that they had important things that needed to be done – such as having their hair cut or getting a mani or a pedi. You know, because things like that are so much more important than helping to stop a pandemic that is killing untold numbers. But for those that were more or less used to confinement? It really wasn’t that big of a deal. Some thrived in isolation, having been so used to it...

In fact, what some might call the torment of isolation, another might think of as just another ordinary day in a life that is anything but…

The Asylum…

That's right, remember this diabolical place? It too is something of a recurring mystery, even though we have seen it time and again. So dark is it and it's reputation that little more be said about it so as to give anyone, any hint as to its true nature or even location. Think Arkham Asylum and you'd be terribly close. You know people -- especially wrestling fans! They intrude and invade, thinking it their right just because.

“Are you certain that this is a good idea? Do you think she’s going to go for it?”

“I think that she’ll be thrilled.”

The voices spoke calmly to one another as the two male figures walked down the sterilized hallway, past rows of closed and secured doors until they finally approached one that was under guard, one of the few maximum security cells here in the hospital. The younger of the doctors turned toward the man in the business suit standing beside him.

Dr. Reyes: I understand your qualifications Doctor Pepper (what, really!?), and we are grateful to have you started with us here. It’s just that I hope you can understand our own wariness at the hospital. She’s been relatively calm and quiet ever since she returned. She really just … sits there, and stares at people. It’s quite unnerving.

Dr. Pepper: I’m sure it is. But to be fair, being stared at by anyone or anything could have the same effect. My cat sits on the edge of the bathtub and stares at me while I bathe. I feel like at times I’m being judged. Especially when he looks ‘down’ at the end of the tub.

Doctor Pepper cocked his head like a curious cat or puppy, as if to give his colleague a visual aid. Doctor Reyes cast a quick, sidelong glance at the curious man to his right side. What an odd thing to say, coming from a psychiatric phenom with his level of expertise.

Dr. Reyes: We’ve heard the horror stories about the things she’s done in that sport, and many of the higher ups in the hospital didn’t want her here for fear of what she might be capable of.

Reyes turned to find the doctor's eyes on him, with a calm expression on his face. Reyes did not know this new arrival by sight, but the average SCW fan would …


Sans the tattered makeup, cracked and peeling from his flesh stood none other than Anthrax, SCW’s “Clown Prince of Crazy Town.” As their eyes were licked, Reyes started to feel unnerved - until Doctor Pepper released him with a disarming smile.

Dr. Pepper: All the more reason for my removing her from these facilities.

He held a hand up to forestall any concerns.

Dr. Pepper: Temporarily - of course.

Dr. Reyes: Of course.

Although Reyes seemed unsure of himself as he slid the key card down the slot of the lock to the left of the door, there was a soft ‘beep’ sound and the lock’s light went from red to green. Reyes then grasped the door handle and opened it, entering cautiously with the so-called Dr. Pepper bringing up the rear. They glanced around the room which had the barest of essentials in it, save for the mountain of stuffed toys on the far side of the room. Gifts, as Dr. Reyes would say, from a casual acquaintance when they were, in fact, from Anthrax himself. There had to be close to thirty or more piled as high as his own waistline; every plush toy one might imagine; from teddy bears to unicorns, stuffed bunnies and even a giant Stitch. Then in the middle of all those adorable faces was another that was more ghastly than anything else, as the subject of the two doctors (or one doctor and one imposter) was buried in Mount St. Plush, with only her face exposed. Much like the closet scene in E.T.!

Dr. Reyes glanced around in suspicion, not spotting her at first, but Pepper/Anthrax saw her right away and smiled in a way that could curdle milk. It was only when Dr. Reyes moved past the plushies and she just SCREAMED - that he jumped from sudden fright, almost falling on his backside.

Dr. Reyes: Jesus…!

And he got another start when he saw those eyes just dart right at him and then behind him, having never seen the sudden and swift blow coming…

The door opened again from out in the hall, and this time it was Dr. Pepper aka Anthrax who emerged, but this time alongside his Metal Maniacs compatriot - the patient herself, Twisted Sister. And Dr. Reyes…?

“MMmppphhh!!!”

The poor doctor thrashed, having woken up in the very straight jacket his patient had just been in - gagged and secured by the feet to the bed…

I know. There are some people who pay good money for treatment like this but just go with it, okay!?

“Jack is nimble, Jack is quick,
Jack will punt Todd right in his d!ck!
Because Jack may be nice, but he does want to win,
And if Jack wants a hand, I’ll gladly torch Todd’s skin”

The USPS Post Office

Is there any other place that is more boring to be? Where one stands in line for minutes on end without an end to the agonizing wait. Waiting to be served by tax-funded peons with bad attitudes at their own lot in life, but with a secure government job so chances are they can’t be let go for any reason. So when one feels grumpy or the need to vent, that employee can make life miserable for those whose tax dollars enable this superiority complex. Bodies pressed close together despite the six foot suggestion … unwashed faces without a mask despite the mandates and the signs on the front door to the building.

Okay, maybe the DMV is worse. … Maybe!

But this time, things seem to be different. At least, where the social distancing is concerned. Nobody has much interest in crowding forward in the misguided belief that it will get them closer to the front of the line so they can hurry up, finish their business and run home to watch daytime talk shows and drink mimosas. Of course, if you were in line with Twisted Sister and Anthrax, how close would you want to get and risk having your face bitten off by the Crown Queen of Carnage?

Yes indeed, the duo were standing in line, in their street clothes, prepared to do business. In the hands of Twisted Sister was a package wrapped in brown paper with the address of SCW’s Las Vegas business office, and randomly scrawled on the paper was “Pretty bird!” in more than one spot.

“Next!”

And the clerk looked up at who approached her counter, and her eyes widened at the startling - and frightening - sight standing in front of her on the opposite side of the glass. Anthrax stood there with that chilling smile but remained without his traditional makeup, but Twisted Sister? This is what the poor USPS clerk saw staring at her…


Clerk: Um, Jim?

Jim: What?

Her colleague in the booth next to her looked up and his eyes widened as well, but being a veteran of the post office, he had seen it all - or so he thought! But he had never seen something quite like THIS! He looked at the fright on Beverly’s face, then looked at the odd duo on the other side and went back to his own customer, muttering…

Jim: Better you than me….

Anthrax twerked his head to the side…

Anthrax: Good afternoon.

Beverly, now as she was known, cleared her throat.

Beverly: C-can I h-help you?

Twisted Sister then set her package on the counter and slid it silently closer to the poor woman who had yet to be able to pry her eyes from the raging psycho, and vice versa! What was it that Anthrax said earlier about being stared at?

Yeah!

Beverly: Regular mail, o-or overn-night?

Anthrax: Overnight. It’s extremely urgent for my friend here.

He laid a hand on her shoulder and Twisted Sister spun her head quick enough to give herself whiplash to stare at his hand, then at him. But strangely enough, he felt no compulsion to remove his hand. Beverly placed the strange package on the scale and went right to business, figuring the sooner she got this over with, the faster they would leave.

Beverly: Approximate worth?

Twisted Sister: Priceless!

This outburst gave Beverly cause to turn her attention back to the duo and she shuddered, but tried to hide doing so - badly. Okay… so maybe under $500 for these freaks… She continued typing and entering information on the package.

Beverly: Is it fragile?

Twisted Sister nodded, her teeth buried into the cuff on her own forearm.

Twisted Sister: More than you’d think!

Beverly: Do you want the package insured?

Twisted Sister’s different colored eyes shifted to the side, toward Anthrax who just puckered his face and shook his head “no.”

Beverly: Does it contain perishable goods? A live animal perhaps?

Twisted Sister shook her head.

Twisted Sister: Not any more.

Beverly went about finishing up the details when she frowned and looked up…

Beverly: … What?

“Poor Missus Alannah, won’t make it to be a gramma,
When she steps in the ring against me,
And I feel for my partner, who faces his wife’s departure,
When I bury her  in the debris,
Of the fight we soon face, her existence I’ll erase,
And take her to her grave for free!
Her blood I will spill, and paint the ring red,
A gift I’ll bestow upon Jack!
Because that’s the friend I am, unto the bitter end!
From the neck up I’ll leave her intact!”


“Can you see meeeee!?”

*tap tap*

“Hi Jack! It’s ME! Can you see me!?”

The ghastly visage of twisted Sister in her ghoulish face paint and her discolored eyes, were in full view as her face filled the camera. She turned her head so the entirely black eye with the red iris was at the forefront, that very eye staring into the camera.

“Pretty bird… pretty bird… “

She turned her head to cast a glance toward a small bird cage hanging from the dank ceiling, a birdcage without a bird. Just a handful of scattered, yellow feathers.

“We’re partners, Jack! You and me! Won’t that be FUN!? And surprise, surprise! In our very first match, we get to play with your wifey wife and Todd “I Wish I Was As Successful As Crystal” Williams!”

“Bad Todd, bad bad Todd! We’ve all heard about your past with Crystal or Christina or whatEVER her name is these days! (And they say I’M crazy!) Little man has a naughty reputation, and you know what has to be done with naughty children! Bad Todd! Bad bad Todd!  Punished, Todd! Naughty boys need punishing! And I think my partner Jack has the makings of a fine disciplinarian! I don’t mind sitting back and watching someone else have some of the fun, but not all…”

She giggled and her fingers laced into her long, red and black streaked hair and she started pulling, thrashing her own head from side to side.

“You boys don’t get to have all the fun. It’s not fair. Not! FAIR!!!”

She rocks her head back and screams in maddened glee, clapping her hands together! She slaps her palms together, fingers intertwined and she tilts her head to the side with her stained teeth bared in a savage smile. She then reached forward and grabbed the camera by the sides with both hands. She leaned in fast and LICKED the lens, leaving a long, red streak over the glass!

“Jack… Pretty bird… pretty Jack… Since we’re such good pals Jack, you know, besties!? I’ve got a little present for you! You know, ANOTHER one! I am going to let you, let me, start our match! Fun! You know what they say – LADIES FIRST JACK!!! I know, I was told that you wanted to start and stay in the ring so your wife didn’t get tagged in but…”

Her teeth bared and she snickered.

“But what if I tag in, Jack!? Think about it! Oh I know that you see yourself as something of a gentleman, but really! First of all, you should know that a lady always goes first. It’s the LAW! So remember that when our match starts, and we get to play together - your wife and me! No… no! No! No! It’ll be alright, Jack! I don’t want you to worry! I won’t end her… or, I’ll TRY not to. Because I want us to win, Jack. I want us to be real pals… and we can’t be, if in our first playdate I end up ruining that missus’s pretty little face, or what’s left of it.”

Her eyes went as wide as saucers and she leaned closer toward the camera.

“Do you like to play, Missus Jack? Because that’s what I’ll call you, because that’s what you are. Shame on you…!”

She wagged a forefinger with black-painted nails at the camera, making a tutting noise with her tongue.

“Your beloved hubby wanted to make a name for himself in this tournament, and along comes the wifey, wanting to steal away her hubby’s thunder! But I bet if you had signed up for the tournament first, and he signed up later like you did, it’d be all boo hoo hoo! My husband wants to take away my spotlight! I’m Alannah! I’m so talented! I’m so pretty! I am so – dead.”

She tilted her head first to the left, and then to the right.

“Living dead girl… they call me that, but that is what you are. Dead girl walking. Oh how unfortunate that those sweet little cherubs will not get to see their mommy playing with Auntie Twisted Sister! I am their Auntie, RIGHT JACK!? Those widdle ones would get to see Mommy and me play with so many fun toys! But Jack gets to watch and he can tell them all about it! He can tell about how pretty mommy is when she gets to paint her face brick red with her very own natural colors! Colors that will stain her face, her hair, her clothes - the entire SCW ring! Broken. Battered. Beaten! BLOODY!”

She screamed and ran right into the camera, her face running right into the lens with a loud and sickening smack!

Immediate blackness - and the camera panned around to watch a wide-eyed Jack Russow having watched the previous on his phone, fingers curled over his lips.

Jack: That was … disturbing…
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5
Climax Control Archives / Hotel Hell
« on: July 17, 2020, 06:23:36 PM »
 
Saxon Hotel:

Patron: Checking in.

Twisted Sister spins around in a wild and torn up version of what SHE might call a business suit, suitable for a woman of the world working at such a fine establishment as the Saxon Hotel. Teeth shining and eyes wide and manic, she gleams at the new arrival.

Twisted Sister: YESSSS!!! Let’s get you clocked in so you can get warm and snuggly comfortable!

She picks up the small clock on the surface of the check-in desk and smiles, then turns and throws it at the poor patron! Luckily the woman ducks in time but slowly stands up wide eyed as Twisted Sister cackles.

Twisted Sister: You’ve been clocked in! Oh BOY!

Anthrax hurries out from the back, dressed in a porter’s uniform that is about three sizes too small for his muscular frame. He runs right up to the guest and practically has his lips in her ear.

Anthrax: HI!

The poor woman jumps from a startled fright. What HAS she gotten herself into, choosing this hotel out of all to stay in overnight!? Anthrax grabs her suitcase with one hand and a handful of her sleeve with the other…

Anthrax: Let’s go!

And he takes off for the elevator, literally dragging the guest along with him! Twisted Sister leans WAAAAY over at her waist on the edge of the desk and laughs as she watches….

**DING!**

That was the elevator ding, just in case you were wondering. The door slides open and Anthrax barrels out, the hotel’s newest arrival right along behind him, literally on the floor as he drags her right along with him! He stops at a door and drops her, literally, with a thump against the plush carpeted floor of the hall. He slides the key card in the door and it pops open with a nudge and just as the guest rises to her frazzled feet, she gets shoved into the room -- to find Iron Maiden in a maid’s outfit practically tearing the room apart in a frenzy!

Anthrax: What. Are. You. DOING!?

Iron Maiden rips the sheets off of the queen-sized bed and throws them across the room in a dramatic sweep, causing it to spread out and dangle down atop of Anthrax and the guest.

Iron Maiden: What does it look like!?

She grabs the mattress and lifts it up and her maddened eyes roam back and forth.

Iron Maiden: I can’t find the little mints that go on her pillows!

Suddenly the sheet is thrown off by a wide-eyed Anthrax and the guest is frozen in fear at everything unfolding around her.

Anthrax: Oh NO!

And he joins in the search, pulling out the dresser drawers and throwing around random contents when…

Twisted Sister: What is going ON!?

Twisted Sister has arrived to make sure all is well with the hotel’s new guest, and finds her room in shambles. She storms in!

Twisted Sister: This is TWO words! Un Acceptable!

Two words? Anthrax and Iron Maiden pause to look at each other and laugh.

Twisted Sister: This is not funny! You haven’t even brought in our guest’s luggage!

Anthrax jerks upright, eyes wide.

Anthrax: THE LUGGAGE!

He screams and runs out into the hallway. He grabs the luggage and HEAVES it into the hotel room where it soars over the three womens’ heads -- and right out the open window!

Twisted Sister/Iron Maiden: Ooooooohhh!!

Anthrax leans part way into the room, biting his bottom lip with wide eyes at his transgression. Twisted Sister side-eyes Iron Maiden and gasps, pointing at her chocolate stained lips.

Twisted Sister: THERE’S the chocolates! GIMME!

And she pounces on Iron Maiden, tackling her to the bed as she tries to pry her mouth open to get to the missing chocolates….

***

Patron: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The guest screams hysterically as she tears through the lobby with hands in the air, waving wildly! She runs smack into the glass doors in the lobby, rocking back! She yanks the doors open and runs into the night, screaming like a lunatic! Standing in the lobby are the three Metal Maniacs staring after her with wide eyes and perplexed faces.

Anthrax turns to Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister…

Anthrax: You know she didn’t even tip me?

Twisted Sister gasps, affronted.

Iron Maiden: So. Rude!



Doctor’s Notes: I suppose this is where I am to take note of the situation the Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister have gotten themselves into again, but this time I find such is not the case. Perhaps I let too much time pass by since their last play session, so it stands to reason that when I let them loose, something like this might occur and they become over-stimulated.

Interesting to note that they end up targeting a familiar face in Roxi Johnson. Why, the last time Roxi crossed paths with a member of the Metal Maniacs, the carnage was sufficient enough to warrant an award for a little incident with a chainsaw. Well I would like to let everyone’s favorite superhero know to have no fear. This was an isolated incident. The ladies are not even around often enough to cause much of a stir but when they take that random interest…

I admit that I was pleasantly surprised that it was Amber Ryan that came to Roxi’s assistance. Last I checked things were not all puppies and hugs between the two, but it does open up a realm of possibilities for intensive psychiatric study. Why does one enemy seek to help out another? Is Amber playing nice, getting on Roxi’s good side, only to turn around and abandon her to my two Maniacs so she is properly softened up for a future encounter?

No. Too obvious.

Well I am certain you both understand what is about to happen. Chaos simply can not be controlled.
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6
Climax Control Archives / Pity Party Pooper
« on: January 17, 2020, 05:16:37 PM »
 
Chuck E Cheese

You know the place, right? That “restaurant” (and we’re using the term loosely here!) that combined animatronic rodents with stale pizza and so many electronic games for a fun night out -- for children. For adults it is hell on earth! Did you know that this children’s pizza palace had a private room, set aside for personal reservations if you didn’t want to share your birthday joy with others -- and really, who does? And if you’re a kid who is just out with the family for a little pizza, a few games and a romp in the playground area, you don’t want to sit back and watch some other kid open presents that by all rights SHOULD be yours!

You get where I’m coming from, right?

Annnyway! This oh-so-special private room was, in fact, reserved. And it was reserved by very special people for a very special reason.

Twisted Sister: “SURPRISE!!!”

(Yeah, who didn’t see that coming!?)

The double doors that led into the kitchen swung open with a flourish and out marched Twisted Sister, wearing a hostess smock, and carrying a lopsided, double layer cake slathered messily with icings of varied colors. Obviously used candles decorated the top of the cake, none of which were lit -- yet. Balloons were everywhere, strewn about every surface and hanging from the rafters and on the surface of the walls. Party hats were set at each place setting, noise makers and streamers. And at the head of the table was none other than the guest of honor herself -- JESSIE SALCO!

Well, not really. It was actually a mannequin seated on the chair, wearing attire much like what the “Heavy Metal Angel” Jessie Salco would wear, and an image of her face, cut out from a magazine, stapled over the mannequin’s face.

Twisted Sister was then joined by Iron Maiden wearing a waitress uniform, complete with frilly apron and matching white hat. And the door swung open one final time, and out stepped Chuck E. Cheese himself in all of his glory. The trio looked to one another and then began to march in a parade formation around the tables, Twisted Sister carrying the cake in front, Iron Maiden blowing a kazoo in the middle, and Chuck E. Cheese dancing a jig in the back.

Together: “There once was a girl named Jessie!
Whose social life was nothing but messy!
So disliked was she,
That when invited to party,
Nobody came but poor Jessie!”

Twisted Sister ‘slams’ the cake down in front of “Jessie” and she and Iron Maiden join hands and jump up and down, celebrating while hopping up and down in a circle while Chuck E. Cheese applauds. The paper bearing Jessie’s likeness came loose and hung halfway off of the mannequin’s face. Twisted Sister and Iron Maiden each leaned over her shoulders from behind and looked around to examine it, then looked up at each other.

Twisted Sister: “She’s coming unglued!”

Iron Maiden: “More than normal!”

Twisted Sister spun about and snapped her fingers.

Twisted Sister: Chuck E.! The tools!

Chuck E. Cheese held a paw up to acknowledge and scurried back through the swinging doors. Twisted Sister reached around Jessie the Mannequin and peeled her face the rest of the way off. She rested an elbow on the mannequin’s shoulder with her cheek smooshed in the palm of her hand as she gazed at the picture.

Twisted Sister: “I REALLY hope this doesn’t sour you on the whole party experience Jessie, because we went through a whole lot of trouble just for you!”

Iron Maiden leaned over, cheek to cheek with her tag team partner and cohort in mayhem.

Iron Maiden: “I hope it doesn’t reflect badly on our service and we don’t get tipped!”

Twisted Sister shook her head.

Twisted Sister: “No, Jessie isn’t that sort! She doesn’t take things personally like this when it’s beyond our control.”

Iron Maiden: “You mean like when she bitched when she got signed to this fight with you?”

Twisted Sister: “Yeah…”

Twisted Sister then frowned.

Twisted Sister: “Yeah! She was all over Twitter saying bad things about me!”

Iron Maiden: “About us!”

Twisted Sister: “Yeah!”

Iron Maiden: “Yeah!”

Twisted Sister turned and slapped the mannequin in the back of the head, hard! Sending it collapsing face-first into the cake, sending icing splattering everywhere. Twisted Sister started to tear at her hair with her fingers and a maniacal look in her eyes.

Twisted Sister: “Now look what you gone and done! Chef HInes spent hours on that cake!”

Iron Maiden: “Chef Hines?”

Twisted Sister: “First name, Duncan!”

Twisted Sister sat Jessie the mannequin upright and then  grabbed the picture of Jessie’s face and slapped it on the face, hoping for the icing to make it stick but they both just watched it slide s-l-o-w-l-y off and back to the table. As Chuck E. Cheese came scrambling back through the doors, Twisted Sister looked to Iron Maiden and sighed in dismay.

Twisted Sister: “She’s giving me nothing.”

Iron Maiden clucked her tongue at the mannequin, while Chuck E. Cheese slapped the picture back on its face and aimed -- a nail gun (!?) at it! Chuck E. pulled the trigger and the power behind the rain of nails was powerful enough that it ripped the head right off of the mannequin and it fell to the floor with a thud. Chuck E. put a hand/paw to his mouth as the female maniacs looked down at the fallen head with Jessie’s face nailed to it and resembling Pin Head. They then looked up into each others eyes and faces and …

Screamed in manic delight!

Chuck E. Cheese pulled his head off, revealing Anthrax (duh!) and they draped their arms around each others shoulders behind Jessie the Mannequin’s chair and they rocked from side to side, singing…

Together: “Every pity party needs a pooper!
That’s why we invited you!
Pity party pooper!”



Twisted Sister: “Jessie, you’re being a bit of a spoiled brat, I mean, really! You could give a girl a complex, acting the way you do. When all I want to do is make nice and play, and here you go and start behaving like a little brat, like you’re just oh too good to go on a play date with me! Now how do you suppose that makes me feel, Jessie? You know very well that I don't get to get out as often as I might like and play with my friends, and here when we get scheduled for a play date of our very own where they even say we can play as rough as we want, you act like it's all for your benefit. Like it means nothing for me and everything for you. Like you were the only one who stands a chance of having any fun. That is no way for us to start off our friendship, so shame on you!”

“ then again, you can't be all bad. You did, after all, have the good graces to invite my bestie, Iron Maiden, to come and play with us as well. That was very, very nice of you! And might I add, very brave as well. Not too many people like to play with us together. Usually it's one or the other because they are worried that maybe we play a little bit too rough between us, but not you! You're not worried about that at all, are you. You're even talking about adding little stipulations like maybe playing a game of Blind Man's Bluff or cops and robbers to add a little spice to the day! Fun!”

“So maybe I was being a little harsh, but I still think you could have handled things between us better. We are going to be very good friends, after all! And friends think about more than just themselves or their own pleasure. And you are trying, so if you can do it, then so can I! I am going to make our little games together as much fun for you as it will be for me!”

“Promise!”
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7
Supercard Archives / Stephen Callaway Vs Anthrax
« on: December 06, 2019, 01:29:34 AM »
 
Black Friday Madness


Wal-Mart. What’s that you say? Wal-Mart? What sort of location for a roleplay is the epitome of the consumer experience that is the Wal-Mart juggernaut? Okay, how many times have we said the dreaded “W” word so far? Well! If you have paid any attention to the randomness that is the Metal Maniacs experience, then you would know that this isn’t such an unusual location to find the SCW’s three treacherous psychopaths. Heck! If you knew them at all, you’d be entirely uncertain whether or not they were even in a roleplay or not!

But this is Black Friday! The grandest shopping day of the year! The unofficial beginning of the shopping season for Christmas, and where chaos abounds!

So really, where else would you expect to find the crazed trio of painted up freaks?

Screams!

Customer #1: “It’s mine!”

Customer #2: “You bitch! I saw it first!”

And much more of the same as hundreds of mass consumers were flung together in angry hordes for the best door buster deals! 56 inch TVs for less than $300! High powered laptops for $200! Video games! Cookware! Clothes!

Anthrax: “Look! She has a purse!”

Indeed one woman was clinging to the tail end of a brand new imitation crocodile leather purse while another woman was dragging her by the purse strap across the floor as she clung desperately to the purse strap!

Anthrax laughed gleefully with his feet kicking idly as he sat on a camping chair in the sports department, watching with a giddy glee at the chaos, while Iron Maiden used the microwave she lifted from the housewares department to make some microwave popcorn for a snack during their entertainment.

The two women then were bowled over and both lost out on the highly desired purse as Twisted Sister zipped right past and snatched it from out of both of their claws, leaving both women tumbled to the floor and wondering what had just happened! Twisted Sister clutched the purse to herself as she approached with a manic gleam in her eyes.

Twisted Sister: “I got it! I got it!”

Anthrax: “Since when do you carry a purse?”

Twisted Sister: “Purse!?”

She holds it up at eye level, and her gray eyes widen in realization.”

Twisted Sister: “I thought it was a fanny pack!”

And she casually tossed it over her shoulder and into a mass of frenzied shoppers. Anthrax pushed himself to his feet, grabbing a freshly popped bag of popcorn from the hands of the Iron Maiden, causing the worst one of the bunch to snarl in his direction and go back to make another.

Anthrax: “Welp! Time to shop for Stephen’s present! I want to make sure to get good deals for his prezzies in time for our match!”

Iron Maiden: “How do you know you’re even fighting him? The card doesn’t get announced for days!”

Anthrax looked back and forth between the two nutcases and rolled his eyes as if they had just asked the single most ludicrous question imaginable.

Anthrax: “Uh, hello!? I read the booking thread!”

He then grabbed the child-sized shopping cart and plowed right into the throng of holiday bedlam as Iron maiden’s eyes followed him. Twisted Sister pointed after hiiim and she repeated.

Twisted Sister: “He read the booking thread.”

And off she went after him as Iron Maiden went back to her fine cookery of salty, false buttery goodness…

Anthrax was nose to nose with a mannequin in the ladies’ intimate apparel department…

Anthrax: “Pardon me miss! Can you direct me to the ladies’ personal grooming products? No, it’s not for me, it’s for a friend!”

...

Twisted Sister was in electronics and covertly turned every radio alarm on to a polka station (yes, they really exist!!) and then cranked every one up to ten! She stepped back with gleeful anticipation when all of a sudden….

“I DON’T WANT HER! YOU CAN HAVE HER! SHE’S TOO FAT FOR ME!” Started blasting everywhere, causing much confusion for employee and shopper alike as she started dancing wildly to the tunes!...

Anthrax passed through a crowd on a child’s tricycle….

Anthrax: “Just taking it for a test drive!”

Iron Maiden placed a “Caution, Wet Floor” sign on the carpet of the children’s department…

Overly Friendly Wal-Mart Employee: “Hello sir! Is there anything that I may help you find today??”

Anthrax turned around to the employee and blinked before he closed his eyes and wailed in dismay!

Anthrax: “Why can’t you people leave me alone!?”

And he whipped out a hanky and blew his nose, walking away sobbing!

Outside in the early morning parking lot…

The three Maniacs all gather around at the edge of the Super Center, the crazed shopping still going on. Anthrax holds open his shopping bag and the two women close in for an eager eye, Twisted Sister holding the bag open with her face pressed in while Iron Maiden shovels popcorn into her mouth.

Twisted Sister: “So what’d you get Stephen for your match? Huh!? What’dyougetWhat’dyougetWhat’dyouget!?”

Anthrax grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head away from inside of the bag before she inhaled too deeply (again) and he rummaged around before he pulled out a box of Spongebob bandages.

Anthrax: “For the man who is going to bleed everywhere, and he will be -- Spongebob can fix everything!”

He tossed them away behind him casually and reached inside for the next present, pulling out…

Anthrax: “For the man whose bones will be in need of mending, Ace wrap bandages!”

Iron Maiden: “You know those don’t actually mend broken bones, right?”

Anthrax: “Are you sure!?”

Iron Maiden nodded and Anthrax held the roll of bandages up to his one open eye, then tossed it behind him! He reached in and pulled out a wrestling action figure.

Twisted Sister: “What’s THAT for!?”

Anthrax: “Are you kidding? Have you seen SStephen Callaway wrestle? I figured this little fella could teach him how to actually wrestle! Maybe he’ll actually win a match! Oh! That reminds me…”

He excavated a Bible from the bag, and found both women’s eyes on him.

Anthrax: “He’s going to need a prayer when we play together!”

Both women mouth “Oh!” and nod as he pulled out a Lady Remington. Both maniac women look confused.

Anthrax: “Well he has that weird chest hair problem! I think he fertilizes it, it grows so thick! I thought he was wearing a sweater at first!”

He then pulled out the final gift for Stephen Callaway from his shopping bag.gift pack of Bod cologne and showed it to them with a proud smile.

Anthrax: “What do you think??”

Twisted Sister: Stephen will think you don’t like the way he smells.”

Anthrax: “I don’t like the way he smells!”

Anthrax threw everything back into his bag and the three linked arms and did the Monkees strut away into the parking lot…
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8
Climax Control Archives / Cuokeeng Fur Three!
« on: November 22, 2019, 05:52:40 PM »
 
>

Anthrax opens his mouth wide and a hysterical laugh escapes from him as he hurriedly writes down while mumbling...

Anthrax: "Buy lettuce -- and gun...."

Iron Maiden slowly turns to Twisted Sister.

Iron Maiden: "This is going to be the best Turkey Day -- EVER!"

Both women scream in wild glee and grab each other by the throat and fall to the floor behind the chair! Anthrax looks back but sees nothing and calmly turns back to his cooking instructions.



The Swedish Chef theme song plays in the background...

An old-fashioned kitchen setting fills the screen and Anthrax, complete with floppy chef hat and frilly "Bless This Mess" apron stands behind the counter; a large spoon in one hand and a ladle in the other.

Anthrax: "Velcume-a, Velcume-a! Tudey ve-a ire-a in zee-a keetchee-a tu cuok up a sput ouff fuon fur three-a! It is, ouff cuourse-a, me-a, und my deenner guoests, Jeke-a Reab und Stephee-a Cellevey vhu vill be-a juining me-a fur deen deen."

Anthrax tosses both utensils behind him, sending them crashing against the row of pots and pans hanging from above the kitchen sink and falling to the tile floor in a clatter.

Anthrax: "Off cuourse-a furst ve-a muost deescuoss huo ve-a ire-a tu prepere-a zee-a meel, und furst up is ouour leettle-a Stephee-a. Nuo...!"

Anthrax reaches under the counter and picks up a meat mallet and a tomato.

Anthrax: "Off cuourse-a furst ve-a muost deescuoss huo ve-a ire-a tu prepere-a zee-a meel, und furst up is ouour leettle-a Stephee-a. Nuo...!"

And Anthrax brings the mallet down onto the overly ripe tomato, causing it to splatter everywhere! Seeds and juice and the meaty pulp of the fruit (yes, tomatoes are fruits!) go everywhere and Anthrax looks up. A creepy smile on his face and the juice dripping off of his dry and flaking makeup.

Anthrax: "Und ouff cuourse-a ve-a cuon nut furget ouour thurd perty member, ouour feenel guoest in leettle-a Jeke-a Reab. Ouh leettle-a Jeke-a, suoch a lunely buy und zee-a vhule-a reesun I im gled tu infite-a heem intu my leettle-a get tugezeer. Yuou see-a, nubudy reelly leekes Jeke-a. He-a hes zee-a persuneleety ouff zee-a deel tune-a, buot me-a? I zeenk he-a is zee-a meen cuourse-a und zeet is vhy he-a, nut Stephee-a, is zee-a meet ouff zees perty."

Anthrax reaches beneath the counter and picks up a LIVE chicken wrapped in one arm and his free hand holding a meat cleaver. The bird starts struggling and squawking and finally gets free of his grip and flops onto the counter before fluttering off the counter with Anthrax in pursuit!

Anthrax: "Cume-a beck cheeckee! Cume-a beck!"

He dives over the counter after the escaping bird and falls over the other side, landing on the floor with a thurd! First one hand reaches up to the edge of the counter, and then the other. A fiendishly grinning Anthrax slowly rises up and looks left to right, before he reaches back down and picks up a raw chicken from the grocery and slaps it on the counter.

Anthrax: "Zees is mure-a feetting. I ilveys seed Jeke-a Reab hes zee-a breens ouff a deed burd. Und zees brings us tu zee-a cleemex ouff ouour deenner perty!"

And he brings the meat cleaver down into the raw chicken, splitting it in half. Anthrax looks up as his chef's hat drapes halfway over his eyes.

Anthrax: "Yeeh, let us see-a Jeke-a Reab vetch zees sheet und reply tu it! Bork Bork Bork!!"
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9
Climax Control Archives / Identititty crisis
« on: November 01, 2019, 08:57:26 PM »
 
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And out onto the stage emerged the one the so-called armchair experts called the "smartest" of the Metal Maniacs triad, or at the very least, the 'leader' of the tandem after the ousting of their mutual therapist, Doctor Kraven Moorehead -- (Yes you read that right!) -- Anthrax! Triple M aka the Male Metal Maniac, marched onto the stage, decked out in a red and yellow feathered boa as the music blared over the Wal-Mart stereo system, his eyes hidden by shades and mussed hair tied down in a Hulkamania bandana. The canned "cheers" (much like canned laughs for old sitcoms) beckoned him to all sides of the stage and he played to the non-existent crowd in the ... wherever the heck they were.

He stepped to the edge of the stage and leaned over, moving his wrist around his ear to beckon for more and louder cheers. He leaned over even further -- and promptly fell off the stage with a clatter of tables and chairs being overturned! A moment later, Anthrax scrambled back up onto the stage and was greeted by the boots of his two teammates, Twisted Sister and the woman who would be in action this weekend in Tucson, the one who was perhaps the most dangerously unhinged of them all, the Iron Maiden.

With his shades hanging off of his dried and tattered makeup covered face, He looked up at his teammates and there was that toothy grin which would be handsome and charming were it not for the fact it could spoil milk.

Twisted Sister: What are you DOING!?

Anthrax then kicked his feet up all dainty like with his chin propped up in the cup of his hands.

Anthrax: What does it look like!? Getting the mood set for her....

He pointed at Iron Maiden who tilted her head to the left and her eyes almost rolled back in her head, exposing only the whites.

Anthrax: ... Opponent! It's not every day she gets to wrestle Hulk....

Iron Maiden: Wrong Hogan!

Now it was Anthrax's turn to tilt his head to the side like a confused puppy.

Anthrax: Que?

Iron Maiden: I'm fighting Amelia....!

Anthrax: Amelia Bedelia! Oh I loved those books when I was... well, three weeks ago!

Twisted Sister: NO! Amelia Hogan! That's who she's fighting!

Anthrax pursed his lips and slowly removed his shades entirely, even though they were practically hanging from his face. He stared at Twisted Sister, then looked at Iron Maiden who bared her teeth in a manic, excited grin and she nodded eagerly.

Anthrax: Pthhh! BORING!

And he hopped up and marched away, leaving the two maniac women to watch after him until Iron Maiden pulled on the sleeve of Twisted Sister to get her attention.

Iron Maiden: Are you sure it's Amelia Hogan I'm chopping up?

Twisted Sister side-eyed the camera, then looked at Iron Maiden.

Twisted Sister: Pretty sure! Why?

Iron Maiden: I just wasn't sure! I'm not even sure she knows who she is!

Iron Maiden leaned over and whispered into the ear of Twisted Sister.

Iron Maiden: I may be seeing things! I saw her... then she looked different! Now she looks like a pixie!

Iron Maiden grips her by the shoulder and they stare wide-eyed, cheek to cheek.

Iron Maiden: Shape shifter?

Twisted Sister: Could be! You're going to have to help her!

Iron Maiden: Beat the real Amelia Hogan out of her?

Twisted Sister: Yeah! Sound like fun!?

Iron Maiden stepped aside and held up a meat cleaver, eyeing it as her head tilted from left to right as she rolled her eyes back again and ran her tongue around her open-mouth lips. A guttural, almost inhuman screech emanated from the back of her throat.

Iron Maiden: Sounds PEACHY! Because I love to help! I'm a GIVING person!

Twisted Sister smiled and nodded.

Twisted Sister: Of course you are!

Iron Maiden: It might -- will -- hurt! But do what you have to! Cut you! Bleed you! Break your bones! End her career before it even starts! Whatever it takes to bring out her true self! Whatever it takes....

She then eyed the camera and shrieked a wild cackle.

Iron Maiden: Because I'm just TOO NICE that way!

And she swung the meat cleaver at the camera ... and static. And the laughter of Twisted Sister!
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10
Supercard Archives / Alice Knight V Twisted Sister
« on: October 12, 2019, 06:34:04 PM »
 
Great Owls In History


University of Hawaii
The Lecture Hall of World History 101 to be more precise. The class has gathered as expected, butts lining the seats from front to back in the grand hall. It was early. Students were tired. I mean, who goes to college, expecting to have to actually attend classes!? There were parties to be had! Beer to be drunk and bongs to be… boinged? Laptops were open, and eager eyes gazed ahead at the forefront of the class, on the stage where the podium was set up and the laptop which would project images to the large screen for the students’ benefits. The only thing missing was the professor to deliver the lecture…

**BAM!**

The sound of the door offstage slamming caused the students to jump, and onto the stage in full cap and gown walked -- Twisted Sister? Wary glances between students were exchanged with one another, as the wild haired and frenzied woman stepped behind the podium and faced one and all, a toothy smile on her lips and manic glaze behind her eyes.

Twisted Sister: Good morning class!

The kids all stared at her, and the wild smile on her face turned to a snarl and she leaned closer to the small microphone…

Twisted Sister: I said GOOD MORNING CLASS!!!

Together: Good morning …. Teacher!

Temporarily sated, Twisted Sister smiled once again and licked her lips.

Twisted Sister: This morning we are going to be straying from your usual topic and doing things a little bit differently!

“Well DUH!”

Twisted Sister:Today we have a new topic, one which will enrich your minds and befoul your senses! So I want lots of notes taken! Feel free to record this and air it on youtube because I’m not entirely sure this promo will air in time for my opponent to see it!

More confused glances between students and several “What the f**ks?” tossed in for good measure.

Twisted Sister: Today we will learn all about…. (insert jazz hands here) The Great Owls In History!

One student jumped to his feet with both fists in the air.

Student: YES!

Twisted Sister pointed her pointer (get it? Ha!) at said student…

Twisted Sister: Arrest that man! He’s obviously stoned if he’s excited about any college lecture! And to those studying Latin? YOU’RE WASTING YOUR LIVES! Now then… I direct your attention to the screen!

Twisted Sister looked down at the powered up laptop before her and slammed a fist down into the keys and the screen at her right flickered on and on it, the image of...

>


Twisted Sister: Mister Owl! Pretentious! Do you hate him as much as I do? Taking candy from children and eating it in front of them? … No, that part’s alright! It’s just that he acts like a typical know-it-all owl! They’re all the same! And does he really know how many licks it takes!?

And across the class, the speaker lights up with Li’l Kim’s “How Many Licks”...

”So, how many licks does it take till you get to the centre of the?
('Cause I've got to know)
How many licks does it take till you get to the centre of the?
(Tell me)
How many licks does it take till you get to the centre of the?
(Oh, oh)
How many licks does it take till you get to the centre of the?
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)”


Twisted Sister started dancing to the music across the stage like a loon, leaving everyone perplexed but too mesmerized like witnessing a car wreck to leave the scene. One student looked at her neighboring classmate and shrugged.

Student: It’s still better than any lecture Professor Claiborne ever gave us.

Neighbor Student: Where is Professor Claiborne anyway?

The answer would be seen behind the stage, the aforementioned Professor hanging from the rafters, hog tied and gagged while Iron Maiden and Anthrax laughed wildly, blindfolded and swinging a stick at the bound and gagged professor like he were a pinata.



Twisted Sister: Oh did you think I forgot about you dear, sweet Alice? Oh no. No no no no!

She laughed fiendishly, displaying her unstable mentality as she leaned over in her own mirth.

Twisted Sister: I could never forget about our dear little Alice the Owl! Our Alice in Wonderland! Hahaha! Just like that Alice, SCW’s lovely little Alice will fall down the rabbit hole and find herself not in a world of wonders, but in a carnal carnival. Full of toys and treats, just made for a girl like her! Oh she will walk into that world with wide eyes of wonder, looking this way and that, and never see the true threat was in front of her all along! No tea parties here in Hawaii,, Alice. No tea and cakes. No cheshire cats or Mad Hatters! NOBODY is as Mad as I am, Alice!

She titters with the case of the giggles, shielding her eyes and shaking her head.

Twisted Sister: Owls are an endangered species, you know. And soon enough, when we have our little play date Allice? Alice, Alice, Alice! There’s going to be one less owl on that list, and they’ll end up that much more endangered!
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11
Climax Control Archives / I scream, you scream! We all scream for...
« on: September 05, 2019, 11:22:10 PM »
 
Iron Maiden: ICE CREAM!

**ching ching!** **ching ching!**

The little bell rang as Anthrax peddled the child-sized tricycle down the boardwalk that overlooked the sandy beach and those glorious, crystal blue waters. The sun was warm and inviting and not a cloud in the sky. So what better time to make a little extra money, or just have some warped fun in general, than by selling ice cream?

The other two members of the Metal Maniacs tandem, rode along as Twisted Sister leaned heavily on the side of the ice cream vendor, ringing the little bell wildly and screaming in glee. Her partner, and the woman who would be facing a newcomer to SCW in just days, Iron Maiden, skipped alongside the cart with the frozen treats, calling out for one and all as heads turned at the sight of these three nutcases.

Not something one would expect to or want to see in luxurious Aruba, now was it?

A little girl pulled at her mommy's hand and pointed.

Little girl: Mommy! Ice cream! Can we get some?

The mother turned to see where ice cream was being sold and her eyes widened at the sight of the three metal maniacs, in their unique brand of attire and garish makeup.

Oh did we forget to mention that all three were wearing swimsuits reminiscent of the early 1900s?

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and...

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Oh one more thing ... Anthrax was wearing the women's swimsuit and Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister wore the men's... Hey! It's a fashion choice! Plus, did we ever mention these three were completely nuts? Either way, the mother shook her head...

Mom: I don't think so sweety. We'll get some ice cream soomewhereelse...

Little girl: Nooo mommmyyyyy! I want ice cream NOWWW!!!!

Mom: Elizabeth Sue...

The little girl started to throw a classic child's tantrum right in front of all of those paradise lovers and you know how it is with strangers and children -- they were all looking at the mom like this was HER fault! And she was soon joined by...

Iron Maiden: She wants ICE CREAM!!!

The mom jumped, not having realized the three maniacs had even approached, so distracted she was by her daughter's temper tantrum. The three maniacs then start imitating the little girl, screaming and crying and even stamping their feet! Everything BUT throwing themselves to the ground, which they probably would have done too were it not for the mom suddenly yielding...

Mom: All right! All right! All right!

The little girl stopped her fit, her tears immediately dry and all smiles, as were the three maniacs as they pressed against one another, faces beaming and toothy grins.

Mom: Can she please get one fudgie pop?

Anthrax: One fudgie pop!

Twisted Sister: ONE FUDGIE POP!

Iron Maiden: ONE FUDGIE POP!!!!!

All three jumped up and tore at one another, pushing and shoving the otjer aside, each one wanting to be the one to retrieve the fabulous chocolatey frozen treat! Twisted Sister dove at the cart but Anthrax jumped on her back and the two ran in circles, the female nutcase showing strength by hauling around the two hundred plus pound man in rapid circles! He then jumped off and made it to the cart and tore open the lid to the freezer and dove in - literally! His top half was completely submerged in the freezer and Iron Maiden gave the cart a boot which just so happened to be on top of a hill on the boardwalk! The cart gained momentum as it rolled with Anthrax's legs kicking in the air, upside down, while Iron Maiden pointed and screamed in manic glee while Twisted Sister fell on her back, laughing uncontrollably.

Iron Maiden:  Hey! Where'd they go!?

Twisted Sister sat up and looked around and they spotted the mom and daughter about thirty yards away, at another ice cream vendor, purchasing ice cream.

Twisted Sister: She left!?

Iron Maiden: Well that just borders on RUDE!



Iron Maiden: A new friend, I'm going to make a new friend!

Iron Maiden spun in circles on her feet in one spot with her arms held open wide. She came to a stop and leaned into the camera, her face filling the lens. Her eyes wide and teeth showing in a smile that just screamed you didn't have to be a therapist to know she wasn't all there.

Iron Maiden: And guess who that is, little Miss Andrea? I do believe it is... you!

She poked the camera lens with her forefinger.

Iron Maiden: Boop!

She jumped back a step and laughed, her body lurched over and arms rigid.

Iron Maiden: I haven't made a new friend in so long! I hope I remember how to do it! Anthrax is usually the best when it comes to making friends, but we'll have fun together, just you and me, little miss Andrea. WON'T WE!? I get told a lot that I'm too enthusiastic with my friends. They say I play too rough. Nonsense I say, nonsense! And you've been awfully quiet, haven't you? But not to worry! Iron Maiden is here to help bring you out of your shell!

Before long I'll have you screaming and crying for me to be your friend! Screaming and crying because playtime is almost at an end!
Screaming and crying because you you have bled!
Screaming and crying .. WHEN I CUT OFF YOUR HEAD!!!


Her eyes pop wide open and she gives everyone a toothy grin.

Iron Maiden: Kidding!

The camera fades to darkness and you only hear the Iron Maiden chuckle...
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12
Climax Control Archives / Peek-a-Boo Hoo!
« on: July 19, 2019, 08:28:02 PM »
 
**Tap** **Tap**

Twisted Sister: Hellloooo! Evelyn? Are you home?

**Knock** **Knock**

Twisted Sister: Yoo hooo! Evelyn! I know you're there! Haha!

The face of Twisted Sister filled the screen. Her gray, manic eyes stared straight at us and flickered back and firth, from left to right. Her teeth clenched into a tight smile and it was shown that it was the painted nail of her forefinger tapping at the screen that was the source of the noise as she continued 'looking' for the object of her attention.

Twisted Sister: You're not HIDING from me, now are you Evelyn!? because that would be just plain RUDE!

The last note of her word reaching an ear splitting screech.

Twisted Sister: You can't avoid me forever, Evelyn! You and me? We have ourselves a nice little play date! And you know it just wouldn't be kosher for you to not show up! I mean, it was your doing that got Marky Mark Ward to set this up for us, just you and me! Wasn't that NICE of him!?

She licked her lips and her eyes grew wide.

Twisted Sister: Well, for me it is! For you...?

She gazed up and around, and her mouth opened in a silent laugh.

Twisted Sister: Well I've been told I like to play a little too rough. Ask Delia Darling, my first real friend! Ask Roxi Johnson. They were all my friends before I  veer got to meet you, Evelyn. And they were all fun, but they all thought I played too rough and then they just didn't want to play with me again.

Twisted Sister jetted out her bottom lip and nodded her head with a putting expression.

Twisted Sister: But just when I was feeling my most lonesome, here you and the rainbow Warrior come, and you want to help cure me of my loneliness! Liam was fun, I can tell. Anthrax had lots of fun playing with him, even if Liam won the game. But of course, you had to help Liam just a little bit...

She pinched her thumb and forefinger close together, and cocked her head to the side. She then shook her finger into the camera.

Twisted Sister: And that is a shame, shame on you Evelyn, because NOBODY LIKES A CHEATER!

She clenched her teeth together and her eyes grew even wider, if that were at all possible.

Twisted Sister: So you know what that means, don't you Evelyn my absolute new bestie of besties!? That means you and I are going to play an all NEW game! Just for us, just this once! And just because I really, REALLY like you, I'm going to bring all my favorite toys! Noe let's see....

She starts to count off on her fingers.

Twisted Sister: There's the propane torch! Oo! And don't forget about the meat cleaver! I bet I can get Iron Maiden to loan me her chainsaw. She's not much for lending out her favorite play things but she saw how much you liked to get involved in someone else;s games, so if you can, then so can she! She's just a nice person in that way. Anthrax really doesn't like to play with toys as much as we do, but he ever so kindly volunteered to step in to watch over the playground. And if Liam wants to play too, I bet Anthrax would be just TOO HAPPY to indulge! But for now?

Twisted Sister bit her bottom lip and giggled.

Twisted Sister: For now it's just us. Just you and me. You'll like that, won't you?

She nodded her head rapidly.

Twisted Sister: I want you to have fun with me, Evelyn! I want you to play as rough with me as I will with you because otherwise, what's the point!? It's just more FUN that way! And if you have a little too much fun and  I break a bone or two (or three) from us rough housing, well that's life! I tell you what...!

She snapped her fingers.

Twisted Sister: if you're nice, I'll even give you a makeover! How about that!? I don't like that you Chloroxed your pretty brown hair to that yellow mess.

She shook her head in a negative sign.

Twisted Sister: But that's where the Metal Maniacs Salon comes into play! After a good night of playing, I'll treat you to the relaxation of having your do done! I'll bust that pretty little head of yours wide open, and we'll see what you look like as a redhead! Huh? HUH!?

She threw her head back and screamed like a rabid banshee...

Attracting the attention of everyone in the laundromat who watched in all levels of discomfort as she continued to stare into the dryer. One man stared so obviously when Anthrax walked past him and turned his head, staring into his face, nose to nose.

Anthrax: What are you staring at!? Never seen someone cut a wrestling promo before!?
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13
Climax Control Archives / Have PRIDE in who we THINK you are!
« on: July 12, 2019, 09:06:02 PM »
 
It was hard to tell with the dried, caked on clown makeup that was worn seemingly night and day (explaining why it was in such a tattered mess in the first place) but it would appear that the stark, raving lunatic Anthrax had an expression of confusion on his face as he stared ahead at the laptop, nose to screen. He tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy, then shifted and tilted to the other side, all the while his fingers drumming along his chin.

Anthrax: So .... he's back? He's back! ... Wait, is he back?

Anthrax jammed his finger to the laptop screen and moved it slowly along the text of the online SCW profile of a new Superstar recently signed and to whom he had been booked against for this coming weekend's show in Primm, Nevada. And yes, in case you are wondering, his lips move when he reads to himself!

Anthrax: Liam ... Ryan?

At reading the name of this newcomer, Anthrax reaches up as if to idly scratch his scalp in wonder and/or confusion, but grabs a handful of his blonde hair instead and jerks it, pulling his head to the left.

Iron Maiden: What are you doing?

The voice of his Metal Maniacs teammate drew his amber eyes aside as he watched his two femme fatale teammates enter the empty room he was seated in. Twisted Sister grabbed at Iron Maiden's arm and leaned into her face.

Twisted Sister: What is he doing???

Iron Maiden: I don't KNOW!

The two women split up and each slid up on opposite sides of Anthrax and where he was seated, their cheeks against his cheeks and staring into the computer screen.

Iron Maiden: What are you doing!?

Anthrax answered by poking at the computer screen.

Anthrax: Did you know J2H has a doppleganger!?

Twisted Sister: Of course! How else do you think Melody became a pregnoid!?

Twisted Sister leaned back enough to look at Iron Maiden behind Anthrax's head and she twirled a forefinger around her ear and pointed at him in the universal sign of crazy. Anthrax chewsed on that logic of his teammate before he shook his head.

Anthrax: No, not that! He has a double! The guy I get to play with in Primm! Looks just like him!

Iron Maiden: The hell you say!

She grabbed the laptop and turned it roughly at a better angle for a look see, and Twisted Sister leaned heavily on Anthrax's back, pushing him over into a bent position so she too could look.

Twisted Sister: It's TRUE!

Iron Maiden: He looks just like him!

Twisted Sister: That poor girl!

Iron Maiden: Melody?

Twisted Sister shook her head.

Twisted Sister: No?

Iron Maiden: Wait... WAIT!!! Which one of them looks like the other!?

Anthrax suddenly sat upright, throwing both Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister back to the floor with his eyes wide open. he waved a hand across the air.

Anthrax: Cosmic!

The two maniacal women rose to their knees and scrambled back behind his chair so they could peek at the screen from over his shoulders.

Anthrax: And here's something else about him!

Twisted Sister: What, that he was in the army?

Iron Maiden: Who? That scrawny thing!? He handled an AK47!?

She threw her head back and cackled.

Iron Maiden: And people say WE'RE nuts!

Anthrax: No, not that part! It's the fact he likes.....

He leaned back in the chair to whisper in Twisted Sister''s ear to which Iron Maiden leaned over to place her ear to the other side of Twisted Sister's head so she could "hear" as well. The two women then slowly drew back with wide eyes.

Iron Maiden: NO!

Anthrax nodded eagerly with a sickly sweet smile.

Anthrax: It's TRUE!

Twisted Sister: Then how did she get pregnant?

Anthrax shrugged.

Anthrax: I `unno. Turkey baster?

All three turned away with blank looks on their faces before Iron Maiden erupted.

Iron Maiden: Not J2H! LIAM RYAN!!!

Twisted Sister: It's not all about J2H you know!

Anthrax spun around in his chair with an audible gasp, his mouth wide open.

Anthrax: It IS!

Anthrax then slowly turned his head so he was looking straight into the camera and he jumped forward, his hands perched on the edge of the desk and leaning over at the wwaist so his face filled the camera.

Anthrax: Is it, Liam? Is it? is it all about you?

He gently rocked his head from side to side, his face betraying a sick smile behind the dried on, flaking clown makeup. He bit his bottom lip and giggled.

Anthrax: I like making new friends, Liam. I like to bring them over to my playground. You and me? We're going to be great friends! We're going to play games and laugh and have fun and break bones and spill blood!

He clapped his hands together.

Anthrax: Doesn't that sound like FUN Mister Ryan!? Well....!

He acted all coy, shoving his hands down into his lap as he rocked from side to side on his heels as his eyes roamed all over in a boyish sense of delight.

Anthrax: Well, I'll be breaking bones and spilling blood, but it's the thought that counts, amIright!? It's FUN to share in the experience with new friends, and where I'm concerned, sharing is scaring!

Anthrax blew a kiss at the camera before waving good-bye with a giggle and a smile.
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14
Climax Control Archives / SCW's hottest piece of @$$? Indeed!
« on: May 31, 2019, 08:50:31 AM »
 
Anthrax: Chosen one... **giggles** chosen....

A dark room is the first thing we see, with just one lamp lit to allow any form of light. The light casts a glow at the lap of the insane clown Anthrax, giving his ghastly appearance an even more ominous look with shadows deepening on his facial features. His face is cast down, looking to his lap where he sits cross-legged.

Anthrax: Sexiest man in SCW...

He lifts his head, and his eyes are closed and teeth gritted together as he chitters in a mad little giggle fit. A giggle fit that he holds back enough that a small tear streams down his cheek, causing the oil based makeup that was already dried and flaking to streak.

Anthrax: He believes that... **giggles** He BELIEVES THAT!!!

He turns his head downward again, and only then does the camera follow and we see him hold a Ken doll in one hand, and a sharp knife in the other. He stabs the knife in the side of the plastic head of the doll and carefully, with disturbing precision and expertise, proceeds to carve the face off of the doll that has been made to resemble Teddy Warren-Steele with hair poofed up and colorful attire hand sewn by Twisted Sister and Iron Maiden -- with the expert use of staples and super glue. 'Sewn' is perhaps too strong of a word.

Anthrax: Is he chosen? By who I wonder? Even the boss said he didn't choose him. if not the boss who wanted him here, then by who?

He finishes making the incision on the doll's head and he proceeds to peel the face off the rest of the way until it fully separates. He holds it up before his eyes, close;y inspecting it. Only when satisfied does the maniac smile, showing teeth past blue and red stained lips.

Anthrax: Well I do, Teddy. I choose you! I like you Teddy. I want to play with you. You like to  play games, don't you? Hide and seek, maybe? Will you hide under the ring, my favorite playground, because you think I play too rough?

He then picks up a small tube of super glue and squeezes some around the outline of the cut and leans over to paste it onto the wall. That is when the camera pulls back, and reveals a plethora of "Teddy Warren-Steele" doll faces removed from their doll heads and pasted on the wall. Different shapes, different sizes, but make no mistake;

They were meant to be seen as Teddy Steele-Warren. He smiles and tosses the remains of the doll back over his shoulder before reaching for the next one.

Anthrax: I do, Teddy. I play rough. It's fun. It shows you that I care, because everyone says you only hurt the one you love.

Anthrax pauses and looks up straight into the camera with a wide smile, or at least, it appears to be a smile. With clown makeup, even in such a vile state, it is hard to tell.

Anthrax: How much will I love you Teddy? That depends...

And just then, the door to the room swings open wide with a loud clatter, banging against the wall. And into the room walks Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister, the two potential tag team partners for their cohort this coming weekend!

Or at least, they try to enter -- at the same time -- with boxes of "Teddy dolls" in their arms and they get stuck in the door frame.

Twisted Sister: Me! Me first!

Iron Maiden: I get to go in first! I called shotgun!

Anthrax pauses long enough to watch casually as the two struggle, like this was just another day in the office of the looney bin. The two maniac Bombshells finally un-wedge themselves and spill to the floor, scattering the contents of their boxes all over the floor at the lap of Anthrax!

Twisted Sister: Now see what you... did?

Her words are halted as both gaze up and around them and see the menagerie of Teddy faces glued to the wall. And joining those, images printed from online of both Teddy with eyes cut out and images of Kate Steele-Warren with hearts drawn around her face.

Twisted Sister and Iron Maiden look at each other with wide eyes. Twisted Sister twirls a forefinger around her ear and subtly (!?) points toward Anthrax from behind her hand.

Anthrax: Ladies!

Their start and turn to their buddy with smiles, their eyes lighting up. Anthrax holds  the next Teddy doll beside his own face.

Anthrax: Who ... is the hottest piece of ass in SCW?

Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister: BOBBIE DAHL!!!

The fact they answered so quickly and matter-of-factly, without hesitation, caused the clown to stop  and stare at them. He then shook his head.

Anthrax: No... NO! Man!! Who is the hottest piece of MAN ass in SCW!?

Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister: Ohhhh!

They look at one another and then at him.

Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister: BEN JORDAN!

Anthrax throws down the Teddy doll and jumps to his feet and sulks out of the room, leaving the two maniac Bombshells staring after him.

Iron Maiden: Ohh! Someone needs a hug!

She holds up a Ben Jordan action figure. She and Twisted Sister shriek in glee and pounce on the figure as the scene closes.
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15
Supercard Archives / Anthrax Vs Senor Vinnie
« on: April 26, 2019, 07:03:47 PM »
 
Kew Gardens. The largest and most diverse collection of botanical flora in the world. At well over 330 acres, Kew Gardens plays "host" to the Aquatic Garden, the Bonsai Collection, the Herbaceous Grounds, the Orchid Collection and much more. With libraries and archives, and several tourist features such as a walk-in Hive to give tourists the perception of bees, or varied Plant Houses, there was always something for anyone. It also, however, this day played host to...

Anthrax: Oo! Hey, looky there! The Dung Heap!

Anthrax.

Yes, the crazed clown of SCW was standing up in the Treetop Walkway, his painted face and palms pressed up against the glass to stare down eagerly at one of, if not the, single largest compost piles; compromised of green and wood waste. He pulled his face from the glass, leaving a residue from his tattered makeup on the glass, and smiled eagerly at other tourists who watched him with extreme caution as they made heir own way through, all the while Anthrax oblivious to their fear while he pointed down at the compost, trying to share his excitement.

Oh well. Better luck next time, eh sport?

Anthrax then made his way to the Temperate House, a greenhouse that was the world's largest Victorian glass structure. But as his eyes roamed from one example of floral life to the next, his bright eyes eagerly taking in each one, he could not help but wonder...

Anthrax: Oh I bet Lora West would have loved this!

He looked into the camera and smiled and gave it a wave.

Anthrax: Hi Lora! See? I notice things!

He then went about his way, a man clown on a mission! Muttering all the time as he looked about....

Anthrax: Pretty lady.... pretty, pretty lady....

Anthrax walked up to the display of the Tree pincushion, butting in between two older women...

Woman #1: I BEG your par-

But one ghoulish smile from Anthrax was enough to cause both women to silence themselves and scurry away. He then turned back to the plant which had been grown from seed collected in 1803 and germinated by Kew scientists, Anthrax brushed his hair from his ear and leaned in with an expression of wonder. He smiled and nodded eagerly.

Anthrax: Yes, yes! I know! You've heard of him too? Senor Vinnie? Yeah, the guy who talks to cactus? Strange man, don't you think? Hm? What's that?

He opened his mouth wide and jerked back, staring at the plant.

Anthrax: You can't say THAT in public! There are little kidsies everywhere! see!?

He sweeps an arm wide and looked about -- only to see no children anywhere nearby. He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

Anthrax: You'd think whoever prepared this promo would have been better prepared!

He then by passed the Tree pincushion, all the while giving it the stink eye until he came upon the Feather-leaved Banksia. He tilted his head to one side in a quizzical expression, then with the assist of a handful of his own hair, tilted his head the other way.

Anthrax: What's that? You've heard stories about Vinnie?

He took a step closer and lowered himself down to one knee, and smiled eagerly at the fanned out plant.

Anthrax: Do tell! That he is so lonely and sad that the only real friend he can make is a cactus? And that is secretly why he enjoys the company of Lora West?

Anthrax gasped.

Anthrax: That is so rude! Lora is nothing like a cactus! Wait...

He frowned and motioned toward the plant with his finger, questioning.

Anthrax: Now is that what Vinnie said or just what you heard he said?

He waited, then nodded knowingly.

Anthrax: I seeeeee! Wait, what?

Anthrax looks from left to right, as if a secret was about to be confided in his person. He then leaned closer. Whatever he heard caused him to get a grossed out and horrified reaction.

Anthrax: That. Is. Disgusting! Why would anyone want to do that with a cactus!?

He then gave it some thought and jetted out a bottom lip and asked the plant.

Anthrax: Does it hurt? Never mind! I don't want to know! Sick.... sick...

And of course Anthrax stood up and went on his merry way, all the while stealing a look back at the Banksia and shuddered involuntarily. He then happened upon the Wood's cyad, and smiled while shaking a forefinger at it.

Anthrax: Ohhh, now you... you're almost cactus-like!

He held up two hands in mock surrender, then took a courtly bow.

Anthrax: No offense, of course! It's just I kind of have this issue with this guy with a cactus fetish and... yes. Yes! Senor Vinnie! You've heard of him, all the way in London? Oh I see! He's kind of infamous in the world of flora! Well I'll tell you something. He's kind of infamous where I come from too. Wrestling. Fun times! Playing! You know, he actually uses his cactus friend to hit people so he can cheat to win?

He nodded, a hand on his heart and silently mouthing "I know!" before continuing.

Anthrax: I tell you Woodsy, I was aghast when I heard.

he then opened his eyes in a frown and looked at the plant and shook his head.

Anthrax: No, I didn't take any Beano. No, not gassy! Aghast! You know because the guy treats his friends the way he does? Hit Ty West with Pedro to win? Hit Ty West with a pumpkin to win? Another vegetable, although Vinnie has more in common with a vegetable than most!

He covered his mouth with his fingers and snickered at his joke, nodding as if the plant giggled along with him.

Anthrax: You know I hear cactus are the least popular of all plant life? Hm, oh amongst the SOPHISTICATED plant life! Oh now that makes much more sense! Well I like you, I like all of you here! You've all been so nice to me, that I think I'm going to do you a favor. I think I'm going to play with Vinnie. And when I play, I play rough, and I play by my rules. There won't be much left of Vinnie to violate the plant life around him. And Miss Lora may just have to find a more masculine form of manhood to make her forget about that freak she's been hanging out with.

He puffed out his chest, then looked down sharply at the plant.

Anthrax: No I'm talking about ME! Sheesh!

Anthrax stood up and turned around to find a young couple staring at him. He jetted a thumb back at the cyad as he passed.

Anthrax: Pay it no mind. Strange plant!
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16
Climax Control Archives / Playing with my Griffin
« on: April 18, 2019, 08:21:54 AM »
 
Planet Hollywood. The small concert hall located inside of the casino was filled with people seated at their tables, each anxious for the performance of "the King." Oh surely they realized that this was just an impersonator, and that the 'real' King has long been dead -- or do they? Yeah. There are still some air heads out there that think Elvis faked his death and is still out there, somewhere. Still alive. Those that have accepted the fact of his death just simply have been unable to let themselves move on, and attend these so-called concerts to live vicariously through men who, for the most part, fail to truly resemble Elvis and just move their lips to another man's songs.

Kind of pathetic, don't you think?

All of this is lost on these people, mostly older, middle aged women with colored, platinum blond hair, too much jewelry and Elvis t shirts. Sort of if someone had taken a young soccer mom type and let all of the air out of her face. They were simply here for a good time, a strong drink, and to relive their glory days when they would toss a good wank at the fantasy of banging the King.

Emcee: Ladies and gentlemen! Please welcome back to the Rock Royal Casino -- The King! Elvis Presley!

"Oh please!"

There is scattered applause as the women hold onto their dignity just a while longer before they assault this poor man with their gargantuan granny panties. The spotlight over the stage comes to life, and the applause slowly dies out in shock at what they see...

A ghoulish clown man (Anthrax ya nimrods!) standing atop the stage, front and center, wearing an Elvis Presley wig and a rhinestone encrusted Elvis jumpsuit. And on each side of him, there was Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister, wearing pink sweaters with leather and spike embellishments and poodle skirts! As the two crazed maniacal females danced about the stage in a hazardous manner, Elvis, er -- ANTHRAX -- started the performance!

Anthrax: Well, since Griffin is gonna leave you!
Well, I found him a new place to dwell!
Well, it's down at the end of Hazard Street!
At the Motel Hell.
Where he'll be so injured, baby
Well, he'll be so injured
He'll be so injured, he could die!

One woman stands up.

Woman: What is this stuff and nonsense!? I want...!

Iron Maiden: SIT. DOWN!!!

Twisted Sister is already off stage, grabbing the woman by the shoulders and practically slamming her back down into her chair before rejoining her pals onstage.

Anthrax: Although the ER is crowded
The doc will find Griffin a room
To treat his broken and bloody body
And let him cry there, in his room
And be in so much pain and misery, baby
Where he'll be so miserable
He'll be so miserable, he could die!

As Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister join hands and dance about onstage, Anthrax is able to surprisingly imitate Elvis's grinding loins with startling accuracy. The woman from before stares at this and finds herself fanning herself before she notices her friends staring at her and she quickly stops and clears her throat.

And somewhere in the backstage area, stuffed in a small closet-sized room, tucked in the sink, is an Elvis impersonator, tied up and gagged.



Anthrax: Griffin of Griffin! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.... None. Well that about does it! You confuse me, Griffy-poo! Usually people don't ask for me personally. Usually they try to avoid me and it hurts my feelings.

Twisted Sister and Iron maiden nod with sad expressions on their faces, bottom lips sticking out.

Anthrax: And here you come along Griffy-kins, and you ask for me. ME! Okay so it didn't look like you were going to get me at first, but here we are! And it's all because of you. Because you LIKE me! Because you wanted to get in the ring with me! Because you wanted to PLAY with me!

Anthrax smiles brightly and his whole body shudders.

Anthrax: That kind of attention? It just does something to a guy. makes me feel tingly all over. So the least I can do, is make you feel the same. Make you feel all warm and tingly. Blood loss will do that to you, you know. Make sure that you know how much I value your sentimentality towards me.

He tilts his head to the left.

Anthrax: It's not easy to say a simple thank you. Words are hard. But I'll make sure you know how much I enjoy our time together. And I'll make sure you remember this special, special evening. It'll be forever marked on your body, and burned into your mind. Good-bye Griffin!

He waves goodbye with his fingers as Twisted Sister and iron Maiden bare their own teeth in grins before howling in their manic glee.

Anthrax: This is going to be fun!
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17
Climax Control Archives / Iron is stronger than gold
« on: February 21, 2019, 05:44:14 PM »
 
Iron Maiden's face fills the screen, her eyes wide and manic, her teeth gritted together in a ghoulish smile.

Iron Maiden: "Games! I like to play games! The rougher, the better! And you know what I hear? I hear that Trinity Jones thinks that she's pretty rough to play with it!"

The camera scopes back to draw in a full shot, where Iron Maiden is perched on a small, plastic chair. Far more suitable for a child than such a rough and violent adult female. Iron Maiden bounces up and down on the chair that she is seated on, rocking back and forth violently as she cackles and screams in jubilation.

Iron Maiden: "Yes! Yes yes  yes! Finally! Twisted Sister had her special playmate in Delia darling! Anthrax had his in Ben Jordan! And now me! It's my turn! It's my turn to have someone special to play with, all mine! Nobody else! No sharing!"

She claps her hands together and leans backward in her chair, stretching her body in manic glee, her fingers twitching and feet swaying from left to right, over and over. She suddenly screams in a blood curdling, deafening manner, and bolts upright in a seated position.

Iron Maiden: "Is it true, Trinity? My new bestie!? Can you fight!? Can you play with me and hold your own!?"

She tilts her head to the side, her eyes remaining wide and never blinking.

Iron Maiden: "You wouldn't lie to me, would you? We are best friends now and all, and soon..."

She smiles, and a throaty chuckle is heard. Her head tilt from left to right, one fluid, smooth motion that continues on.

Iron Maiden: "Soon Trinity, we'll be blood sisters! Doesn't that sound nice? Hm? Fun, even? I spill your blood, you try to spill mine. I can bring a few toys, and, oh...!"

She holds up a finger.

Iron Maiden: "Maybe I can bring a friend or two! The more, the scarier -- amIright??? So much fun to be had! So many memories to make! But don't you worry, little Trinity. You won't forget anything about what happens on our little play date, no matter how much you might want to. I won't let you...."

Her hand rises, showing that she is holding a razor sharp meat cleaver in her grasp. She waves it back and forth before the screen , her eyes following the movement as if the light glaring off the metal has her transfixed.

Iron Maiden: "I'll carve the memories of everything between us right into you."

She brings the cleaver right down into the plastic table in front of her an the very real and very sharp blade embeds itself deep! Iron maiden tilts her head back and screams and laughs as the camera winks out.
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18
Climax Control Archives / The Twelve Screams of Christmas
« on: December 14, 2018, 06:28:17 PM »
 The camera opens with a close up shot of all three members of the Metal Maniacs; Anthrax, Twisted Sister and Iron Maiden in an outdoor setting. All three are wearing traditional ugly Christmas sweaters with moth holes in random areas, colorful scarves draped around their necks, Anthrax has a Santa hat on his head, while Twisted Sister has on an elf hat and Iron Maiden is wearing reindeer antlers. And on all three of their faces are bright and chilling smiles and in their hands, the pages of a book of Christmas carols.

Drifting down from above, gentle snowflakes fall all around them. One starts to gently land on the nose of Iron Maiden until she turns her head up and screams bloody murder at it, threateningly brandishing a machete toward it.

Anthrax: "Seleana, this one is for you!"

The music to the melody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas plays.

Metal Maniacs: "Oh the First Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana,
A cast wrapped around a broken knee!"

"Oh the Second Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana,
Two machetes up the jacksie!
And a cast wrapped round a broken knee!"

"Oh the Third Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana,
Three broken fingers!
Two machetes up the jacksie!
And a cast wrapped around a broken knee!"

"Oh the Fourth Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana,
Four medics hovering!
Three broken fingers!
Two machetes up the jacksie!
And a cast wrapped around a broken knee!"

"Oh the fifth Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana,
Five family members mourning!
Four medics hovering!
Three broken fingers!
Two machetes up the jacksie!
And a cast wrapped around a broken knee!"

"Oh the Sixth Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana!
Six pallbearers!
Five family members mourning!
Four medics hovering!
Three broken fingers!
Two machetes up the jacksie!
And a cast wrapped around a broken knee!"

"Oh the Seventh Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana,
Seven spinal discs ruptured!
Six pallbearers!
Five family members mourning!
Four medics hovering!
Three broken fingers!
Two machetes up the jacksie!
And a cast wrapped around a broken knee!"

"Oh the Eighth Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana,
Eight nuns a praying!
Seven spinal discs ruptured!
Six pallbearers!
Five family members mourning!
Four medics hovering!
Three broken fingers!
Two machetes up the jacksie!
And a cast wrapped around a broken knee!"

"Oh the Ninth Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana,
Nine pints of blood a spilled!
Eight nuns a praying!
Seven spinal discs ruptured!
Six pallbearers!
Five family members mourning!
Four medics hovering!
Three broken fingers!
Two machetes up the jacksie!
And a cast wrapped around a broken knee!"

"Oh the Tenth Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana,
Ten relation leaping (off a bridge)!
Nine pints of blood a spilled!
Eight nuns a praying!
Seven spinal discs ruptured!
Six pallbearers!
Five family members mourning!
Four medics hovering!
Three broken fingers!
Two machetes up the jacksie!
And a cast wrapped around a broken knee!"

"Oh the Eleventh Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana,
Eleven mourners singing!
Ten relation leaping (off a bridge)!
Nine pints of blood a spilled!
Eight nuns a praying!
Seven spinal discs ruptured!
Six pallbearers!
Five family members mourning!
Four medics hovering!
Three broken fingers!
Two machetes up the jacksie!
And a cast wrapped around a broken knee!"

"Oh the Twelfth Scream of Christmas, it surely gives to Seleana,
Twelve fans not caring!
Eleven mourners singing!
Ten relation leaping (off a bridge)!
Nine pints of blood a spilled!
Eight nuns a praying!
Seven spinal discs ruptured!
Six pallbearers!
Five family members mourning!
Four medics hovering!
Three broken fingers!
Two machetes up the jacksie!"

"And a cast wrapped around a broken knee!"

Their song ends with all three of their heads together in what would be a touching way if you didn't know these three psychopaths. Their gleaming eyes turn to the camera.

Anthrax: "I love Christmas!"

Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister's eyes are wide open as they scream wildly in response!

19
Climax Control Archives / Robin Blood
« on: December 07, 2018, 08:46:43 PM »
 
Gardens At Springs Preserve

Not in Primm, Nevada, not yet. This location would be found in Las Vegas, close to Primm by less than forty four miles, not even an hours drive. One might wonder why Anthrax was not already in Primm, given his match against the newcomer St. John Cross, was only two days away. The answer was simple, were you given to understand the mind of the maniacal clown.

He had to train to battle the monk in the most logical and efficient way.

Anthrax: "Robin Hood and Little John walkin' through the forest
Laughin' back and forth at what the other'ne has to say
Reminiscin', This-'n'-thattin' havin' such a good time
Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly, what a day!"

Iron Maiden: "SHHH!!!"

Twisted Sister: "You'll scare them off!"

By playing Robin Blood, and his Merry Maniacs! Anthrax was dressed in a Robin Hood costume, strangely reminiscent of the role that Errol Flynn made famous. Iron Maiden appeared to be a leather clad version of a gothic Maid Marion, while Twisted Sister was dressed in a nun's outfit.

Hey! It was better that than trying to explain a female monk to all of you!

Narrator: "You mean Robin Hood?"

Anthrax turned his head toward the camera.

Anthrax: "QUIET!"

Prompting his two Merry Maniacs to jump from startlement. Anthrax stared at the camera, glaring through the tattered remnants of his ghoulish clown makeup.

Anthrax: "Are you TRYING to get us in trouble with federal law!? Don't you know that would be copyright infringement!?"

Twisted Sister and Iron Maiden look at perhaps the most loose-hinged of the maniacal triad, then toward each other. Iron Maiden gives her head a lilt toward him from behind while Twisted Sister twirls a forefinger around her ear and then points at him.

Anthrax: "I saw that!"

Twisted Sister quickly shoves her finger between her teeth in false innocence and she and Ion Maiden lean their heads against one another with sick and twisted smiles on their faces.

Twisted Sister: "Have you got eyes in the back of your head!?"

Anthrax: "No!"

He covertly parted a bush with both hands and dodged between it and took refuge behind a tree that stood nearby in the botanical reserve. Twisted Sister looked at Iron Maiden and a knowing expression crossed her face, her gray eyes growing wide.

Twisted Sister: "I bet he proof read this RP!"

Iron maiden nodded and tapped a finger to her temple before they too followed him and hid behind the tree.

Narrator: "Never ever thinkin' there was danger in the water
They were drinkin', they just guzzled it down
Never dreamin' that a schemin' sherrif and his posse
Was a-watchin' them an' gatherin' around!"

Anthrax, Twisted Sister and Iron Maiden's heads turned at once to the camera.

Narrator: (clears throat) "Sorry!"

They peeked around the side of the tree and saw a group of older women, obviously high class and quite snooty given their facial expressions and attire. They were sat on marble benches in a semi-circle, sipping tea and discussing their holidays in far away and exotic lands while drinking tea and eating cucumber snack foods.

Anthrax then pressed his toy bow between his teeth and started to climb the tree while his Merry Maniacs watched with gleeful smiles that screamed cuckoo! Robin Blood shimmied across a nearby branch that was perilously close to where the ladies were. He slung the bow over his shoulder and grabbed a vine from a branch. He then stood up and JUMPED --

And promptly crashed face-first in the midst of the little social gathering! The ladies jumped to their feet as one and screamed! They ran in all corners, dropping their tea and cucumber sandwiches as the Merry Maniacs screamed in hysterical laughter while Anthrax rolled back and forth where he had landed, kicking his legs and giggling like ... well, like a lunatic!

Anthrax: "Robin Hood and Little John runnin' through the forest
Jumpin' fences, dodgin' trees an' tryin' to get away
Contemplatin' nothin' but escape an' fin'lly makin' it
Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly, what a day
Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly, what a day!"



The smiling face of Anthrax filled the camera.

Anthrax: "Psst! St. John's Wart! C'mere! C'MERE! I wanna ask you something! Do you like to play --- games? Hm? Wouldn't it be fun if when we meet on Sunday, we play a game? Just the two of us? I played a nice, relaxing game of Robin Blood and his Merry Maniacs, but that was just for fun and giggles. I had my usual playmates with me, but I tell you something."

"I like to make NEW friends, and have NEW playdates with them. New toys. New rules. What game shall we play, Mister Monk? Shall we engage in a new game of Robin Blood, where you can be Friar F**ked? (Sorry, I censored myself!) That would be fun! And the ring could be our very own Sherwood Forest! I'll even bring my Merry Maniacs along for the fun! Just a word of caution."

"My Merry Maniacs like to play rough, and I play for keeps."

He smiled, showing teeth stained by his clown makeup.

Anthrax: "Once I make new friends, I like to keep them. And Mister Monk?"

He tilted his head to the side, almost touching shoulder to ear.

Anthrax: "You're going to be my new friend!"
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20
Climax Control Archives / Story time with Anthrax
« on: September 28, 2018, 08:20:55 AM »
 
A large playroom was the setting with many toys strewn about hazardly, including stuffed animals, a Fisher Price kitchen, dolls and action figures and much, much more. In the center of a clearing, sat Anthrax on a small, plastic chair that was lime green in color and so small that he barely fit but remained without a care. In his lap was an open book, large and with pictures so colorful they could be seen from across the room. He looked up with a giddy smile that shown through his tattered makeup. He glanced left and right with that bone chilling smile.

Anthrax: "Are we ready? Splendid! Once Upon A Time...."

In the magical land of Krazzy, there lived a poor but dashingly handsome clown prince named Anthrax!  Now Anthrax lived in a world of make believe, where the people sat around and pretended to be something that they were not. Mostly professional wrestlers and super models, although some unoriginal chosen few pretended for all to see that they were fabulously wealthy. It was a way for these poor souls to live through their lot in life, but our hero Anthrax knew better, and did none of that. For he was too smart to fall for the same outlandish games that the populace did. He was a clown, a jester of the highest caliber, and he was satisfied with that.


Anthrax looked left and right with a manic smile.

Anthrax: "Good stuff, huh!?"

He delved back into the book, his nose almost touching the pages.

Anthrax: "Now lemme see here..."

What made our hero different was that he knew who was behind the deception of the people. It was the Great Big Casey --- or as he liked to call him -- that BDF. That stood for Big Dumb Fucker, but since this is a children's story. We can't tell you that.


Anthrax looked with wide eyes and covered his open mouth with his finger tips.

Anthrax: "Oopsy Doodle!"

One day while Our Hero stewed about his clown shop, wondering how he could free his people from the BDF Casey, the answer hit him on the head -- literally!

As a long tendril of bean vine fell from the sky and hit him smack on the noggin!!

"Ow!" He said, and rubbed his head as he looked up, craning his neck back as far as he might, to stare up at the beanstalk that had suddenly grown right there in his work shop, and reached clear past the clouds through is shattered roof.

"Oh first he fools the people into thinking their lives mean something and that he's a big deal, and now THIS!?" He screamed, throwing down his Anti-Casey propaganda posters to the dirt floor and he stood up, quite indignant. "Who is going to PAY for that!?"

Well I'll tell you who! Casey The BDF, that's who! Standing upright and adjusting his clown belt, Our Hero Anthrax set about climbing the beanstalk, when an idea struck him. He stepped back down to the ground and pressed the button on the stalk, and the elevator door slid open. He stepped inside and told Bugs Bunny who wore a bellhop uniform "Roof please!"


Anthrax: "C'mon! It would have taken too long to write about his climbing a beanstalk that tall!"

And as soon as the door closed, it was only a moment later when the elevator doors slid open and Our Hero Anthrax toppled over and fell face first from the momentum!

"Top floor!" Bugs said. "Rubber tires, nylon hose, bobby pins, girdles, alarm clocks, bourbon, butter -- and other picture postcards."

As the doors slid shut again, Our Hero Anthrax dusted himself off and walked on the rocky path, toward his intended target of the Big Bad Giant. The land, it was dark and barren, a desolate wasteland, much like Casey's mind and career.


Anthrax: "Was it any wonder he's talking about retirement?"

As Our Hero wandered, looking for any sign of his gigantic prey, he saw small tokens, little remnants of what made the BDF Casey relevant in his past. In a large dungeon-like crater called the Asylum, he saw little mementos in a broken trophy case where the glass was shattered. Little replicas of tiny championship belts.

Our Hero then turned his head and watched as a dust ball blew across the door frame of another district to the land, this one called Sin City. There too was a trophy case, but it remained undisturbed, empty. Not even a broken glass panel to indicate any interest from would-be thieves.

Seeing this, Our Hero shook his head sadly and turned around to head back the way he had come. The elevator doors slid open, and Bugs Bunny waited to take him back home, his journey and crusade against the BDF Casey all but forgotten. Why you ask?

After seeing the dismay of the BDF Casey's life, he came to realize that there was little more he could do to make Casey suffer any ore than life had already made him suffer.


The elevator doors slid closed, then a soft **ping** and slid open again. Our Hero Anthrax stuck his head out and smiled.

"Doesn't mean I won't try this Sunday though!"

And they closed once again.


Anthrax slammed shut the book and looked up with a bright smile.

Anthrax: "Just like Casey's career will come to an end. Oh boys and girls, he would like you to think he has personal reasons for why he's contemplating retirement, and the fact that he sucks is pretty personal! Hahahaha! But I -- I mean, Our Hero -- is going to do the world, and Casey, a BIG favor and out of the kindness of my, I mean His, heart, take the decision out of his hands. This freakend, Our Hero -- is going to retire Casey Williams!"

Anthrax hops up to his feet and skips away from the scene merrily, and the camera pans out to find the children and staff of the day care, each tied up and gagged with wide eyes.
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