SCW’S London Brawling event was drawing near as was Matthew Kennedy’s latest challenge for the SCW Roulette Championship against Bo Dreamwolf, so who will win this one? I don’t know but I’m sure Matthew Kennedy is still in London…….what do you mean he’s on the Ile of Wight?!
Matthew’s hotel room, The Ile of Wight
April 26, 2012, 11:00pm
I suppose my current location does require some elaboration on my part, after all I’m nowhere near London right now.
MK: I know what you are thinking, why am I sitting on an uncomfortable bed at an Premier Inn on the Ile of Wight instead of staying with my family back in London for SCW’S London Brawling event? Well the higher ups persuaded me to represent SCW in a SCW vs. ICW match at Premier Wrestling’s imaginatively titled “The Big Show” and for the brain dead Americans watching right now I just used a little thing called sarcasm, what’s sarcasm? Well if you stopped watching Jersey Shore for five minutes to look it up in the dictionary you’d know!
And now onto the business at hand, beating Bo Dreamwolf and winning my Roulette Championship.
MK: However just because I am on an island in the English channel doesn’t mean that I won’t be talking about my Roulette Championship match against Bo Dreamwolf on the mainland, Bo, you are to be quite frank an utter disappointment, I expected better from you Bo but when you not only did not mention me ONCE in that joke of a promo but you have yet to tape another promo, you know for some reason I was expecting a challenge from the current Roulette Champion, however if I have to make do with thoroughly kicking your ass all over the arena so be it.
Yes, I just said the phrase “kicking your ass”; I think I just felt my IQ drop faster than an internet nerd’s chances of getting laid.
MK: Sure I could use more intelligent and dignified phrases to describe just how badly I will beat Bo Dreamwolf this Sunday at London Brawling but honestly, what’s the point? Bo Dreamwolf is treating me as an afterthought so why should I treat him with any ounce of respect? I already hate Americans enough but Bo’s treatment of me has been nothing short of disgraceful.
I can hear a couple having sex in the room next to mine due to the paper thin walls, lovely.
MK: I apologize for the noise my neighbors are making at the moment, rest assured I will be taking my boss to task over choice of hotel whilst I am here representing SCW at a Premiere Wrestling event, what was I talking about again? Ah yes Bo Dreamwolf and honestly, that’s a good metaphor for our match at London Brawling, I am sure that the fans in the audience will find more pleasure in watching some woman sleep with someone who she isn’t even married too……wait is that two female voices?
Great, the couple that are having sex happen to be a lesbian couple, I’m sure the loyal fans of SCW will be more interested in that than watching me talk about Bo Dreamwolf.
MK: You know what? I can’t work under these conditions, I have two women making out in the room next to mine, some pervert undoubtedly “pleasuring” himself over that fact and I’m supposed to concentrate on Bo Dreamwolf? Why not tell me to dress as a KKK member for Halloween in Harlem? I’m sure it’ll end just as well! Bo this Sunday your title reign is coming to an end!
And with that I decided to wrap things up.
MK: Bo Dreamwolf, you won’t stand a chance in our upcoming match because my name is “Prime Time” Matthew Kennedy and Bo Dreamwolf’s championship reign is about to be cancelled.
I proceeded to try to get some sleep as the scene fades.
