"The Talk/Market Value"
Sunday afternoon (early)...
Most people don't know this, but Las Vegas had a lake. Lake Las Vegas in Henderson, Nevada. It is there, that Ty West had decided to take the gold urn containing the ashes of his deceased father. He sits on the shore, his pants rolled up to just below his knees. He has his feet dug into the dirt. He was quite a ways from the resorts and squints as he looks across the water at them. He reaches behind him and from a small cooler, pulls out a brown bottle of beer. Flipping the cap off. He nods at the urn, raising the bottle and clinking it against the metal. The sound is like a tiny gong. Ty takes a long swig before wiping his mouth with his sleeve.
Ty: Well Dad, we finally got here. You always said one day we would come out to henderson and have a beer, and here we are.
The tone of his voice is slightly sarcastic mixed with an undertone of hurt.
Ty: And I have news. I met somebody. Someone I really care about. Beneath all his bravado he really is sweet and I know he cares about me too.
He glances down at the urn, and shakes his head.
Ty: I know what you would say, you would ask me why I was doing this, why be with a man when with my looks I could have the pick of women. You would tease and eventually ask me if I liked being a...
He stops short of saying the defamatory term. He shakes his head, giving a little chuckle before taking another drink of the bottle.
Ty: No. You can't say any of that can you? Not now. I'm happy. I am happy to have someone who cares, who isn't concerned about my bank account or my good looks. He likes me for me and to hell with you and your judgement.
His voice wavers as he continues.
Ty: And you know what... Dad... I never wanted much from you, you know? I just wanted you to be around. For you to give a shit. Call me just to ask how I am without asking me to loan you large sums of money. Other kids, well most of them, had a father. Instead I just got a sicilian jackass who squandered his money on gambling. I didn't deserve that! I wanted so badly to impress you. For you to accept me but you never did, did you? You didn't want a son, especially one that modelled and acted. I don't miss you...
He chugs the rest and instantly reaches back for another bottle, flipping off that cap just as easily as the one before
Ty: Nope. Nothing to miss. I miss what we could have... no... should have had. You should have been around. You should have been a decent person. But you never were...
He finishes that beer rather quickly as well.
Ty: But it's your loss you know... you lost me. I'm great you know...
He's starting to feel the effects of drinking the alcohol rather quickly, being a lightweight, it really didn't take much. His vision twists, causing the area around him to rock violently from side to side like an unstable canoe. When the spinning stops though, his hand reaches for another of the six pack he brought.
Ty: And you were a dick to my mom. She deserved better than to be knocked up by you. She lost her whole life because of you and you being the jerk that couldn't wrap it up. My mom should have had a husband that loved her. Her kids shoulda had a devoted father. You screwed us both... Dad.
He laughs sardonically as he takes a huge gulp and then coughs as he chokes on it a little. A sadness now comes over him. Replacing the bitter anger he was just ranting with. He chokes again, only this is more figurative as he keeps himself from crying. Crying! Over a man that never cared. But why the bank account in Ty's name? Why keep the 5 acres in California. None of it made any sense.
Ty: Why couldn't you just stop. Stop gambling. Stop pissing people off. First you lost a pinky and then your life. Over what? A lousy bet? A scheme to get more money? I don't get it. I never got you. We are so different yet you are my father...
He shakes his head, the beer in his hand sloshes over the mouth of the bottle and all over the front of his dress shirt. He rolls his eyes and rips open the shirt, causing the buttons to pop and fly in all directions in the sand. One pings off the urn and he giggles
Ty: Gong! It is a gong show. Life is a gong show. Constantly having to impress people. Having to get approval.
His mind flashes through his memories.
Fenris: He's MINE!
Then watching as his eyes got wide and if Ty didn't know better, he swore he saw fear there. But when questioned about if he truly belonged to him, it had been an unfaltering ‘Yes’
He smiles as another memory floats into his frazzled brain.
Elin: He's cute, how did he ever end up with Kristjan?
Before the sisters had known about Ty’s nearly perfect understanding of the Icelandic language he had listened in curiosity. K wasn't an unattractive man, why wouldn't someone like Ty be with him? And then the realization that it had more to do with K's personality. Ty knew it wouldn't be easy but he hadn't given up yet and come hell or high water he wasn't giving up any time soon.
Despite everything, family was important and he knew he had won over K & Aron's family.
Bliss: I haven't seen you this happy in ages, Ty.
An impromptu skype call from his beautiful, Blonde mentor. She was exceptionally good at reading people and could tell right away that something was going on. He'd told her about K and then his father's death. Just like K and Effie, neither had known quite what to say. They all knew of the issues. Knew that he wasn't mourning the man's passing.
Then he falls face forward into the sand and the memories fade off into the bleak, black nothingless of drunken slumber.
***
Sunday afternoon (late)...
“I need you.”
They were not words he ever expected to hear from the mouth of the buxom blonde standing in his doorway. Effie Bingham had only been at the home of the Brothers Balta once or twice and it was usually for the help of the younger brother, the heterosexual brother. So Fenris is surprised to hear those words but steps back allowing her to enter, more curious to know what exactly she needed him for.
Fen: What for?
Effie bites her lip because she knows that as soon. as fills Fen in on the situation he might take out some anger on her, not that she was a stranger to anger given her own IED diagnosis, but there was a big part of this having to do with not wanting to fuck anything up for Ty.
Effie: Well... you see... Ty kinda lied about where he was going tonight and...
Fenris instantly thinks of the sly cocksucker that was Sebastian Phillips.
Fen: I told that Motherfu....
Effie's eyes go wide, mostly because the only words she recognized were the obscenities. And that was only because she'd asked Aron what they were. From a scholarly inquiring mind, of course.
Effie: Hold up. He ain't cheating. He took his father's urn to Henderson. He was supposed to be back by now but he's not answering his phone. I'm just worried. So I need you to come with me to look for him.
Fenris only partially understood why Ty would be upset over his father's death. From what he had learned from Ty himself, he was an asshole that only popped up when he needed money. Why mourn this man? It was a simple solution to Fen. Flush the man's carcass down the toilet and be done with it. But Ty was sweeter. A trait he was attracted to. A trait that Ty held in common with his beloved Jokull. He shakes himself of his memories and sees a wide eyed Effie.
Effie: Thought I lost you there, Space Cadet Barbie. You wanna come or not?
He ignores her insult, the thing he was starting to learn about the spitfire of a woman was that as insulting as her nicknames tended to come off, she only seemed to bestow them on people who were significant to her in some way. Calling him a “Barbie Doll” was not new and now that he thought about it, ever since the flirting had started between him and Ty, she had dared utter the words. But he quickly shook the thought away because now that Effie had brought it up, there was a part of him that was concerned. Another part was angry that Ty didn't think he could trust him enough with the truth either.
Fen: Yes. Go.
He pushes the woman back toward the door. He might never admit it outloud but part of him was thankful for this girl, trolly as she may be, he could tell she actually cared about Ty. As long as that remained, he would allow her to be around. He heard a rumour she was sleeping with the new guy claiming to be a monk in SCW. Which he also liked because it meant her claws were not firmly stuck in his brother.
The car ride doesn't take long, but the searching was starting to agitate the champion. If Ty had managed not to get himself killed, he'd kill him himself.
Somewhere around the hour mark, Effie calls out ahead of him and waves him over. When he gets there and looks to where she points, Fen rolls his eyes at the sight of his significant other, nude and spread eagle. His clothes are scattered around the private beach in quite a big distance. As well as six brown bottles and a gold urn, stuck on an angle in what appears to be a lopsided sandcastle.
Fen: Did he drink the six?
He fans his hand along the beach. Effie shakes her head.
Effie: He really shouldn't drink that much, he's such a lush.
If Fen were alone with Ty, he may be tempted to wake him in a more provocative way but with Effie here, he wasn't willing to share the experience. Instead, he walks over, pulling Ty up and then with minimal struggle hoists the unconscious man over his shoulders. She immediately notices the oval shaped bruise on the back of Ty's shoulder. It was yellowish, meaning it was older and healing. She rolls her eyes and grabs the cooler, Ty's discarded clothing and reluctantly the urn of his father. Following behind Fen, they make it back to the car. Not seeing Ty's bike anywhere, Fen asked;
Fen: How he get out here?
Effie shrugs as Fen opens the door and slides Ty into the backseat before closing the it and getting back in the passenger seat.
Effie: Uber.
Effie looks over her shoulder and then back at K.
Effie: You marked him, didn't you? Like a dog.
Kristjan laughs loudly.
Fen: Heat of the moment and the right position to do so. He did not complain.
Effie's face twists into one of disgust. Causing Fen to laugh more.
Fen: The unmovable troll has been moved. Are you against two men together?
Effie: I'm fucking Bi. So no. I just don't want to think about two guys I consider family doing the nasty.
Fen's eyebrows go up. Family? So his assumption had been right. She had started to collect them into her circle. He wasn't exactly sure how to digest that right now though.
Effie: Let's just get him home and rehydrated. I'm sure he probably has a touch of heat stroke too.
With that, the subject was dropped but the idea that Effie considered him part of her exclusive circle was still a lingering thought. He was still getting used to the fact that he had claimed Tyler publicly, but he supposed he could do worse than Effie as a friend.
After some arguing back and forth, Effie relents and allows Fen to bring Ty back to his place. Effie drives away just as Fen enters the building. A few neighbors give him questionable looks but he catches a few of them admiring the perfect shape of his lovers exposed backside. Being careful to make sure his ass was all that could be seen. Much to the horror of his neighbour, he slaps Ty's ass and the little old lady rushes out of the building with more speed then he'd ever seen with a walker. Telling Ty about this later would be the highlight of his day. It also served the man right for getting himself into trouble.
Aron doesn't even question it when Fen enters and goes straight to his room. The jostling has Ty wake up, retching. Fen is quick to put a garbage can in front of Ty's face until he is sure he had filled the bucket.
Fen: Sorry that I missed a drunk Ty West.
Ty looks at him weakly, so instead of busting his balls, Fen just pats Ty's hand in reassurance. Ty is embarrassed as he groans, running a hand over his face.
Fen resorts to icelandic now. He wants to know what happened and why he lied.
Fen: Why did you lie about where you were going?
Ty removes his hand, looking at his new ‘boyfriend’ in the fading light of the day. He knows the look on his face pretty well. It is the one he has right before he goes into a tirade over something. Ty doesn't have the mental strength to reply in the man's native tongue.
Ty: I didn't think you would approve
Fen laughs but it is more of a, “I’m right” then true humour.
Ty: I needed to sort out my feelings. I suppressed it all over Christmas, for the sake of having a pleasant holiday. You know?
Fen was not someone to really comment on suppressed feelings given he had suppressed feelings in his own past, but he appreciated that Ty wanted to make a good impression for his family.
Fen: You...
He clears his throat, not used to having to be any form of emotional support for anyone.
Fen: ...Can tell me. Anything. Can not promise not to be mad though.
Ty: I will. Just... not right now. I just want to sleep.
Fenris nods and walks to the door. Ty looks disappointed. It was a look that Ty never wanted to see on his face again. It stung a little and it was yet another confusing feeling to add to the growing pile.
Ty: Are you not staying? Are you really that mad?
Fen wasn't sure if it was the request itself or the tone it was asked in but he turns back, climbing in behind Ty to be the “big spoon.” It was all it took to set the drunken man into a deep, snoring slumber. Fen can't resist brushing his hand across his lover’s cheek. Deep down, he worried that something may happen to this man who had been slowly integrating his way into Fen's heart. He couldn't handle it a second time. It would break him completely.
***
The West-Ward Blogicles
Season 3, Entry #8 -- “Fair Market Value”
This particular entry starts without any fancy setup or props. It is just Ty. His growing, shaggy hair pulled back from his face in a short ponytail. His demeanor is serious.
Ty: I grew up constantly feeling like there was always room to be better. Not because I was told I needed to be but because I put that impossible expectation on myself. I wanted to do whatever I could to impress my birth father. But now, my chance has passed. He got himself into a bad situation that there was no escape from, yet this feeling inside me to still try to get his acceptance still lingers inside my brain like a ghost in an attic. Rattling and haunting me into partial insanity.
He grimaces at the thought of it, looking skyward for a moment before putting his attention back on the camera.
Ty: I have been this way for so long now that I think it will forever be ingrained into my DNA. I know what you are all thinking, “But Ty, you say, you were ready to hang up your boots and walk away...”
He shakes his head, his lips turning up in a bit of a frown.
Ty: Yes, no denying that. I was. I was tired. I felt like I was running in a hamster wheel, always seeing the prize but running faster still didn't move me any closer to that carrot I wanted so bad. People like Jon Dough keep bringing it up like a broken record. That I'm not good enough because I still could retire at any point.
This actually gets a sardonic chuckle from the big man. He continues in a sarcastic tone.
Ty: I find it amusing that not only does he know me so intimately that he can know exactly what I am doing but thinks he is also a mind reader.
Ty scoffs and the laughs at the ridiculousness of that.
Ty: Until Jon has been in my shoes, he can only make up stories to explain who I am. What makes me tick. In one breath he says I will run if I lose, and the other says I did it for sympathy to somehow get title shots.
He holds up his hands, looking back and forth between them.
Ty: So which is it? Apparently he knows the bosses even better than he claims to know me. Do they usually give shots to keep people in their employ? Seems to me it's a little fanatical of him. A little jealous. A little hypocritical. But the most important thing is that I made him tap out. You think that would give him a change of heart. But no, he still has my name on his lips. Please sir, kindly get my c#&k out of your mouth, I have no interest in your attention. I think all of it is a deeply seeded attraction to me, while I'm flattered to be part of your secret fantasies, There is no desire on my part to be your experimental situation. I am the Roulette champion, you need to accept that I beat you and so it puts an end to that chapter.
He wipes his hands together in a symbolic gesture of wiping his hands of the situation.
Ty: However, if you want a rematch, anytime anyplace.
He gives the camera a wink.
Ty: Now, Blasted Monk. A curious fellow to say the least. A man that in one breath is jumping on Dough's wagon of assumptions and then suddenly telling me it is just a game. Like chess. The analogy was not lost on me, Monk. Yes, wrestling is just as much a psychological game as it is a physical one. However, in any game, you never reveal your strategy before you play.
He puts a white king piece down in front of him.
Ty: I am not a stranger to people putting me on blast. It has happened since the day I was born. There was always someone with something to say. People constantly trying to put me down. Let me clear something up. In the small percentage that I lose, I am not quitting. I am not retiring. So if you chose to keep repeating that, you will look like a fool. A fool without a title.
With a flick of his fingers, he knocks the piece over. He then looks back to the camera, lacing his fingers together in front of him.
Ty: Look, It is hard to get my respect but it is just as hard to lose it once you have it, but I am not into this wishy washy back and forth. I will give you your due. You pinned Shinjiro to capture the honor championship. That is great, however you couldn't get the ultimate prize in that match. That was me.
Hand on his chest it is obvious how passionate Ty is about his journey.
Ty: Maybe I am overconfident, but I am not going down without a fight. If you look back, I haven't mentioned quitting since I came back from my vacation. I did some soul searching. Then I was lucky enough to have the advice of Ben Jordan. He was instrumental in giving me a new viewpoint. And of course Kristjan has been a beacon as well. But other than that, I know now that I am Valuable. Maybe Jon and a slew of other guys here don't agree.
He shakes his head lightly.
Ty: Despite everything I have done to get here, I am still called out on my looks. I've never been an arrogant, narcissistic guy. I have never relied on my looks. Modelling was fun but it was just a start. Acting was where I was headed. I tried. I tried for a long time but just like a few months ago, I had that same feeling like maybe I had expected too much of myself. I was my own worst enemy.
He reaches in front of him, out of the view of the camera to bring the Roulette title out and place it in front of him.
Ty: There is no one that is sitting there watching this that can say they have never entertained negative thoughts about themselves. Everyone has. It is what you do from there that makes the difference. Just because I failed to make it beyond a few B movies and commercials doesn't mean it is an indication of my future in wrestling. I proved my fair market value and I will continue to prove it, regardless of if I am Roulette Champion or not.
He throws the title over his shoulder.
Ty: But I plan on staying the Roulette champ after this match and the many more to come.
He pats the face plate as the camera fades to black.
***
Monday Afternoon...
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?”
Kristjan watches as Ty clears a spot on his TV stand for the gold urn. Kristjan seems a little disturbed at the thought of a dead man being able to watch them on the couch.
Ty turns and winces. Truth be told, He wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his father's ashes, but in the meantime, he couldn't in good conscience hide them in a closet.
K: You don't think this morbid?
He points at the urn with a turn of his lips.
K: This man does not deserve your respect.
Ty agreed but his heart was too big to do as Fen had suggested before and flush them.
Ty: I dunno K, I just... I wanted so much to have him respect me. To love me. Anything. I feel like I have been robbed of something.
Kristjan felt awkward, not knowing what to say to comfort his partner.
K: But he does not deserve your love.
Ty gives him a little half smile.
Ty: You are probably right
K rolls his eyes. There was no probably with the strong Icelandic man. He was right. In his mind, always. Ty laughs, not needing any translation for the look.
Ty: Until I am confident in what I am going to do, I will leave him there.
K grumbles about it, but decides not to discuss the topic further. Instead he leans in, kissing Ty softly. Ty knew that this was new to him. It had been a long time since he had been in a serious relationship. He felt guilty not telling K that he knew about Joküll, but he wasn't willing to betray Aron's confidence either. He was just as much a brother to him as to K.
K: So you said you would explain. So explain why you were naked in the sand.
Ty blushes. He had never drank so much that he blacked out. He remembers taking off his shirt. After that it was a blur of memories. He wasn't sure which were real and which were products of his drunken stupor.
Ty: Just me being stupid and letting my emotions get away from me. My dad's death has hit me harder than I wanted to admit.
K: No more. Okay? If you're getting drunk, let me see so I can laugh and make fun.
A smile crosses his face and Ty chuckles with a shake of his head.
Ty: Or so you can take advantage of me...
K shrugs his shoulders.
K: That too.
Ty loved how K was honest to a fault on most things. He wasn't shy about speaking his mind at any point and it was refreshing to Ty. He knew that his past love was subject non grata presently but he hoped, in time, K would be more willing to talk. Ty was secretly jealous of the dead man but in the same respect, he felt like he came as part of the package. To love K, you had to love that part of Joküll that lived in K's heart and always would. Ty cared so much about Kristjan that he was willing to accept that. As long as K was willing to give him back what he gave, in this time. The asian man wasn't here anymore, but Ty was.
K: Where is Lora again?
He looks around, feeling the emptiness that the sweet woman had left in the apartment.
Ty: Japan, to visit my Aunt Vanessa.
K's eyes go wide.
K: Another auntie? When can I meet her?
Ty shrugs.
Ty: Van is more like my mom and less like Lora. She is not as doting, or homey, or sweet. She's pretty rough around the edges actually.
K: So she is a bitch? Like Elin?
Ty thinks about it and then nods in agreement.
Ty: That's a safe comparison. She fits in better in Japan were a disciplinarian attitude will make you a good teacher. To be honest, I hardly know her.
But somehow, both Gina and Van adored Lora fiercely. Ty knew that Van cared about him but much like K and his sisters, had a hard time expressing it.
Out of the bedroom, the white haired, Heterochromian cat named Wilson came into the living room. He immediately jumped up onto the back of Ty's couch to sit directly in front of K, staring intently as if to ask what his intentions were with his human. K stared back. There was a moment of intensity before K barked at the cat. Wilson meows loudly before hissing. He jumped down, disappearing into the galley kitchen.
Fen: The feline does not like me being here.
Ty laughs, hugging K tightly. K resists before relaxing and putting his own arms around him.
Ty: Wilson is protective. I doubt you two will be best friends but you will come to a mutual understanding.
K: As long as he does not sit and stare while we are....
He trails off.
Ty: That was one time, plus you threw a pillow at him. You can't expect him to like you after that.
Fen shrugs before taking Ty's hand and pulling him back toward the bedroom. When the door closes, the white haired cat peaks around the corner and sits. If one didn't know better you would think the cat was smirking.
