[Andrew]

 BRIEFCASE, BRIEFCASE, WHO HAS THE BRIEFCASE?

Narrator:  What an interesting Climax Control 191! Unfortunately for Dmitri, he lost possession of the World Heavyweight Championship to Calvin Harris, so he’ll at least get a re-match. Unfortunately for James Tuscini even though he has the Number One Contendership for the Internet Championship, due to having the re-match contract as the Champion who lost the Title Belt to Ryan Keys, Management decided that James must perform at Climax Control 192 in a Briefcase Match against Griffin Hawkins to determine which one of them will be the legal Number One Contender for the Internet Championship. This match is designed where the first wrestler to climb up a ladder and take possession of a Briefcase hanging 15 feet above the mat, will be declared the Number One Contender for the Internet Champion. The other question on my mind is now that Dmitri and James are no longer holding Singles Championships will continue as the Tag Team of Unholy Alliance and take on the Monstimals? We will have to wait and see if James and Pinky address that issue also.

PRESS CONFERENCE

We change scenes where we are taken to a Conference Room where James Tuscini and Pinky del Ferrando are meeting with news media personnel to give their comments on Tuscini’s match at Climax Control 192. The Conference Room is located at the Spark Arena in Auckland, New Zealand, where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 192. James usually dresses casually for Press Conferences but today he surprised us by showing up in a medium gray pinstriped suit with a white shirt and red power tie. Pinky looks like a Mortician in his black suit with white shirt and black tie. They are on a raised platform and they are both sitting at a large table set up on the stage. We notice there are numerous cans of soda on the table in addition to a very large tray of assorted donuts. Pinky raises his hands to quiet those in attendance and once they quiet down they begin their comments.

Pinky:  With most Press Conferences the people in attendance can ask questions and the people holding the Press Conference answer those questions. We don’t do things like that and since you people Down Under might not understand how James and I do things we’ll enlighten you. The concept of our Press Conference today is that we’re here to present information to you. We’re not going to take questions from you. If you have questions you can ask us privately later at another location but we will not do the question and answer thing during our time at this Press Conference. James I would like you to start off the comments.

James:  Before I go into comments on my match against Griffin Hawkins I would like to comment on our current Roulette Champion Kris. He has a few more weeks holding the Roulette Championship and he’ll pass me up as the 3rd longest-reigning Roulette Champion. Kris I know you can easily pass me up but what I really want to see from you is to outlast Equinox and Goth to become the longest-reigning Roulette Champion. I’m pulling for you to accomplish this feat. Best to you in your endeavor Kris.

Pinky:  What in the *bleep* was that James? You’re being nice to Kris?

James:  Kris is an awesome Roulette Champion and he deserve my praise and recognition. Nothing sucks more than breaking records and achieving major things only to have people disrespect you and undermine your accomplishments.

Pinky:  You’re being too nice but that’s your decision.

WHY DOES JAMES TUSCINI HAVE TO PROVE SOMETHING HE’S ALREADY PROVEN?

James:  I want to know something. I’m sure nobody will give me a straight answer though. Why in hell do I have to “prove” myself as the Number One Contender for the Internet Championship when I’m already the Number One Contender for the Internet Championship? I lost the Internet Championship to Ryan Keys and that gave me automatic and legal possession of the Number One Contender position and I have the re-match contract to prove it. Geez! It’s like you see a bird that looks like a duck, it has a duck bill, it has feathers like a duck, and you hear it go quack, and then you demand this duck prove, beyond a doubt, that it is, in fact a duck. I shouldn’t have to do this match with Griffin Hawkins for the Number One Contendership but since Management asked me to do the match I respect them and I’ll do the match. Even so I don’t understand why I have to prove a damn thing. Oh I know. Hawkins your claim to the Number One Contendership is due to the fact that you defeated Ryan Keys once in a non-title match. Well, Griffin, if one win in one match qualifies you to challenge for the Number One Contendership then if you take the five wins I have over Ryan Keys then I hold the distinction of being five times more entitled to be Number One Contender for the Internet Championship than you do. It’s okay though as I’ll do what Management has asked me to do at Climax Control 192 which is to defeat you by climbing the ladder and taking possession of the Briefcase. I’ll prove I’m the legal Number One Contender for the Internet Championship.

Pinky:  What this match consists of is a briefcase hung 15 feet above the ring and the first wrestler who can climb up a ladder and take possession of the briefcase will be declared the Number One Contender for the Internet Championship. This match is so easy for James to win it is as easy as a blowtorch cutting through warm butter.

James:  Seriously, Griffin, do you believe you can out-wrestle, out hit, out-punch, out-maneuver, and out-smart me in a match like this? I understand your name is Griffin Hawkins. However I feel as though my opponent for this match is really Stephen Hawking. Now why would I invoke the name of Stephen Hawking and place him as a reference on how I see you in our match? I feel that although you’re a smart wrestler you’re as limited in your physical abilities as Professor Stephen Hawking is. I know Stephen Hawking can defeat me in a game of Chess, in a Math contest, and during discussions about science, but if Professor Hawking were to get insulted by my comments I surely don’t see him getting out of the confinement of his wheelchair to stand up and kick my ass. Yeah, Griffin, that’s how I see you. I feel you can talk a good game and maybe defeat me at a game of marbles but when it comes to kicking ass, climbing a ladder, and taking possession of a briefcase that contains the Number One Contendership for the Internet Championship, that is something you will never be able to accomplish, just as Stephen Hawking will never accomplish standing up out of his wheelchair to physically kick my ass. I’ll prove you wrong.. I’ll crush your ambitions. I’ll show Management they shouldn’t have given in to your empty demands for a shot at a Championship you had no business asking for.

Pinky:  Whatcha gonna do after you defeat Griffin Hawkins at Climax Control 192?

James:  I’ll face Ryan Keys for the Internet Championship and become a two-time Internet Champion.

DOES JAMES TUSCINI STILL HAVE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP ASPIRATIONS?

Pinky:  James I want to ask you something. Now that Dmitri doesn’t hold a Singles Championship, and you also don’t hold a Singles Championship, until you defeat Ryan Keys soon that is, do you still have a desire to pursue the Tag Team Championship with your Tag Team Partner and friend, Dmitri?

James:  I wouldn’t pursue the Tag Team Championship with Dmitri as Unholy Alliance at this time. I feel Dmitri will again regain the World Heavyweight Championship and I don’t want to distract him with thoughts of going after the Tag Team Championship at this time. Also in a few weeks I’ll defeat Ryan Keys and become a two-time Internet Champion. Therefore with one of us, or both of us, holding Singles Championships, we wouldn’t be interested in doing Tag Team wrestling for now. However, Uncle, if by some unknown miracle, or a Voodoo curse has been put on me, where I lose against Ryan Keys in my re-match, or God forbid that Griffin Hawkins gets the win over me at Climax Control 192, would you consider tag teaming with me again as The Family to take on the Monstimals?

Pinky:  No way James! I had my fill of wrestling when we did the Tag Team Championship Battle Royal. Even though we were the third team eliminated, which was a good showing for us, I feel my place is at ringside as your Manager and not inside the ring as a wrestler.

James:  That’s okay Uncle. I understand how difficult it is being inside the wrestling ring with professional wrestlers. For now we’ll put The Family Tag Team on hold but if an opportunity comes up and Management asks us to perform in a Tag Team match we can do it again. As for me and Dmitri as Unholy Alliance I feel until both of us are totally out of contention for any Championships we will not be doing the Tag Team thing again for some time.

”BEING CHALLENGED IN LIFE IS INEVITABLE, BEING DEFEATED IS OPTIONAL” Roger Crawford

Pinky: Several weeks ago we saw an alignment and association between Joshua Acquin with me and James. Maybe everyone feels it was just idle talk. Nothing idle about it. Joshua came to us and indicated he respects James and his work in the ring and James responded to Acquin that he also respects Acquin’s work in the ring. Our agreement with Acquin is to keep an eye on others to ensure there are no attempts from to interfere in their matches.

James: At Climax Control 191 Acquin got his request to face Kris for the Roulette Championship granted. At Climax Control 192 we see Joshua Acquin take on Kris for the Roulette Championship. Can Acquin defeat Kris for the Roulette Championship? With very few exceptions everyone on the Sin City Wrestling roster can defeat anyone else on the roster on any given day. We will be watching Acquin’s match and if someone attempts to interfere on behalf of Kris to screw Acquin out of the match we will take appropriate action.

Pinky:  What’s that quote you read to me the other day James?

James:  It was ”Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional” by Roger Crawford. This is the concept that myself and Joshua Acquin work on. We know wrestling is challenging. We know some opponents are more challenging than others. But we also understand that defeat is optional and we are not going to allow defeat to enter into our matches at Climax Control 192.

Pinky:  I hope Kris and Griffin Hawkins are listening the taking notes.

WHAT CAN GRIFFIN HAWKINS EXPECT IN THIS UPCOMING MATCH?

James:  Griffin I wish to explain to you what you are in for in this match. Remember that you demanded a Briefcase match against Ryan Keys but Management wasn’t going to give into your whining and demanding and just hand you want you wanted. No, Hawkins, they threw a curve ball at you by telling you the only way you could get a shot at Ryan Keys and the Internet Championship is to defeat ME in a Briefcase match.

Pinky:  Griffin are you aware of the saying that goes something like the following? Be careful what you ask for as you might just get it. There is another one that goes Hell is getting what you want. Well, Hawkins, you should have been careful what you asked for, and hell is getting what you want, because you asked for this match and now you have a Briefcase match from Hell against James Tuscini. I can assure you that having dozens of heavily bleeding cuts on your body, and you are in a river or lake filled with hungry Piranha, would be a more enjoyable adventure that what James will put you through in your match.

James:  You haven’t been in Sin City wrestling long enough to know that I’ve done exceptionally well in violent matches. I’ve succeeded in Ladder matches, Tables Ladders and Chairs matches, Ultimate X over the pool in a cruise liner matches, Street Fights, you name it. I don’t back down from anything or anyone. I don’t take steps backward I take steps forward. I don’t get intimidated by anyone for any reason as I’m the “Intimidator.” When you step into the ring with me Sunday evening I want you to make sure you’ve signed the waiver that states if you suffer injuries, or if you end up injured to the point where you either have to take off many weeks to recover or retire from wrestling, that you will not hold Sin City Wrestling or myself liable for your injuries which are a result of your arrogance and stupidity.

Pinky:  I know what you’ll say next Griffin. You’ll state that, well by golly gee, you’ve defeated Steve Ramone and Ryan Keys so you deserve this Championship shot. James is currently 5-1 against Ryan Keys. We lost track how many times James has defeated Steve Ramone but I believe it is at least four times. In fact, Griffin, James and Ryan Keys have kicked the crap out of Steve Ramone so many times that Ramone hasn’t had to run to the bathroom to take a shit for six months. So if you want to claim that one win over Ramone, and one win over Ryan Keys, qualifies you to have a shot at the Internet Championship then take the nine wins James has over Ryan and Steve and you realize James is more deserving of an Internet Championship Title match than you’ll ever be. Maybe in your empty deluded drug-infused mind you think you are qualified for a shot at a Championship but that’s all it is. You “think” you should get a shot at the Championship but James and I KNOW that James earned every Title shot he’s been given.

THE SHIT IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN

James and Pinky take a short break to eat several donuts and down some soda. While they’re enjoying their snacks, which by the way nobody else in the Conference Room but James and Pinky have snacks, some of the reporters start yelling out questions for James and Pinky to answer. This really pisses Pinky del Ferrando off as he already told them he and James will talk, they will listen, and they will not ask questions.

Pinky:  I told you punk asses there will be no questions! I know you understand English. What part of THERE WILL BE NO QUESTIONS AT THIS PRESS CONFERENCE are you not understanding?

The reporters in the audience get belligerent and start yelling insulting things at James and Pinky. This infuriates Pinky del Ferrando and we cannot help but gasp and laugh when we see Pinky picking up donuts from the tray on the table and he starts hurling them into the audience. We laugh especially hard when a jelly-filled donut smacks the smart ass reporter square in the face and the jelly filling gushes out and covers the reporter. Security personnel rush onto the platform to protect James and Pinky from the rowdy crowd. James and Pinky decide to make final comments before leaving the Conference Room.

Pinky:  Now you’ve done it! You’ve crossed over the line! You’ve pissed us off! Thanks a lot because we’re gonna take this anger into the match against Griffin Hawkins and kick his sorry ass from ring post to ring post!

James:  Griffin when I take possession of the Briefcase, and I’m declared the winner of the match, I’ll make sure to smack the briefcase into your head and into your face. I want you to suffer the loss to me in the match. I want you to suffer your failure to obtain the Number One Contendership for the Internet Championship. I want you to suffer several Briefcase shots to your head. I put up with months of Steve Ramone demanding shots at Championships he didn’t earn the right to challenge for and then you come along and do the same thing he did. You bring your self-righteous ass to the ring. You bring your stupid demands for things you don’t deserve to the ring. You bring your punk ass to the ring. I also want you to pay attention as I’m beating you into the nearest Intensive Care Unit. Your days are numbered Hawkins. The only number I’m concerned about is the number ONE as in I’m the Number One Contender for the Internet Championship!

Pinky:  You people in New Zealand can kiss my ass! You claim to be some of the nicest people on the planet and then we come down here and get disrespected by you. Rot in Hell for your actions against us!

James and Pinky walk off the platform with Security personnel walking with them to prevent the locals from physically attacking them. They escort the two to the door of the Conference Room where they exit the Conference Room into the hallway to head back to their dressing room. The Network cuts to a commercial break.