October 12, 2020
In the afternoon following my victory over Seleana Zdunich, I was heated and angry as I sat in a medical room in the same hospital that I had attempted to visit Christina Rose in not too long ago. The sting in my forehead from the stitches that were placed the night before wasn’t overwhelming, but just feeling it and knowing that Christina came out of nowhere and did that just fueled my bitterness and anger even more. I looked down at the floor, soaking things in.
“Was it worth it?” I heard the voice of Clarissa Vega ask me. I looked in her direction and I let out an angry sigh. “You weren’t concussed like she was. She tried to get you back and she may have gotten some retribution, but it took her days to get out of here and here you are, already fixed up and ready to go. Was doing what you did to her worth this?”
Clarissa was definitely concerned for me, I could definitely feel that vibe coming from her. But when I thought about the big picture, my anger was beginning to fade.
“I also just learned that you’re going to face Roxi and Christina in a tag team match next week and we both know the last time that happened… how much that crushed you…”
Normally, mentioning that Father’s Day debacle would really irk the hell out of me. But, not this time. The mention of that previous experience brought a little bit of joy to my face knowing I had a chance to avenge that horrible day.
“...yes…” I told my best friend. “It was damn worth it!”
“Good…” Clarissa said with a smile, giving me the knowledge that I had given her the answer she was hoping for. “...it’s only going to get better…”
“Yeah…” I said, concurring with her. “It shall…”
My bitterness was coursing through my veins as I thought about the Father’s Day debacle and how horrible that broke my confidence.
“The last time I faced them in a tag team match…” I thought to myself… “...the referee was an incompetent son of a bitchy… but now… I can get my revenge for how those two made me feel that day....”
Father’s Day, after Climax Control 271…
I remember being back in my hotel room completely locked up. The wound of my father’s death at that point was still extremely fresh and I was shattered and broken. Tears were everywhere. My sense of pride was gone. There was nobody in the SCW bombshells locker room that had ever checked up on me to see if I was okay.
“Dad, I’m so sorry…” I said through my own tears. “I’m sorry that I completely failed you… today of all days… for this to happen to me…”
Considering that losing the world title was still a wound of itself, though not quite as fresh, this had become too much for me to handle. I shut my own eyes trying to gain assurances in my own mind, but they just weren’t coming.
“You failed me…” I could hear my father’s voice in my head.
“I know…” I said inside of my head. “I know I failed you and that I let you down and I’m so sorry!”
“I knew that the women in our family didn’t have what it took…” I imagined my father saying to me. “I knew that you were a worthless little bitch that couldn’t make it without me! I gave you everything Andrea! I gave you the world! And this is how you repay me? By disgracing me? By letting me down on today of all days?”
“What else do you want me to say, dad?”
“Admit it…” I imagined him say to me. “Admit that you can’t do it without me! Admit that I was right! Admit that if it wasn’t for me, you would’ve never gotten to live the fairy tale that you did to begin with. Admit that you’ve always been a pain in the ass and a sorry excuse of a daughter! You let CHRISTINA beat you… CHRISTINA! You’ve disgraced the family…”
“I know… I know I did…” I thought in response with a slight shudder. “Everything around me is falling apart… and I know that without you around… I’m NOTHING…”
I could only sulk at this point, the summer of hell only just beginning. I didn’t know that the seeds for the anger and bitterness that I have today toward Roxi and Christina. This memory… even NOW… is painful for me.
When I came back to the present day and snapped out of that flashback, Clarissa was looking at me with concern again.
“Are you okay, Andrea?” she asked me.
“What they did to me on Father’s Day…” I said with a tone of bitterness in my voice. “I’ll never forget or forgive what they put me through! It’s not about my father, because FUCK HIM! It’s about the fact that they created the torment I went through all summer. It wasn’t losing the world title that created it… it was that match… it was having my father brate me after the fact… even if it was a dream… or my imagination… that created that torment! THEY put me through that! This time? If I have a good partner…”
“Amber Ryan…” Clarissa said.
“Brilliant…” I said with a smirk on my face. “...it’s time for some payback… because THAT is what this is all about for me. I’ll get my revenge for that horrible experience they put me through…”
I got up and walked out of the room even if I did feel a little bit dizzy. Clarissa wasn’t too far behind as I began to focus on my next chapter.
October 14, 2020
“It’s time to further separate myself from what is holding me back!”
I said these words to Clarissa as I was taking apart my childhood bedroom. Every remaining childhood gift that my father had ever given me was discarded in a trash bag.
“Doesn’t this feel great?” Clarissa asked me.
“It sure as hell does! I can’t believe I spent the whole summer kicking my own ass over letting my family down. What in the hell was I thinking? At least every trace of my father is already in the trash.”
I paused as I looked around the room, still extremely angry and bitter. Just being inside this house again was making me incredibly sick to my stomach, but I was able to provide myself with my own upset stomach relief by throwing framed picture after framed picture of my father in the garbage bag.
“I think I’ve got just about everything at this point…” I said to Clarissa. I was about to leave the room, but Clarissa had the presence of mind to stop me.
”What about all this crap?” Clarissa asked me. I walked back in her direction and she opened the closet door. I was surprised to see that I was looking at my old Roxi Johnson posters, clothing, action figures and merchandise that I had collected over the years. Just seeing Roxi’s face made me cringe.
“God, how the fuck could I be so stupid?”
“You were a kid, Andrea…” Clarissa reminded me. “You couldn’t have known any better.”
“Still… I idolized HER?” I said with a scoff. “It’s funny because when I first arrived in Sin City Wrestling, I was completely freaking out over the fact that I was finally going to meet her and even work with her, but… she never even bothered to say hello to me. She didn’t even bother trying to know me. When I was going through some hard times, she didn’t even bother to check on me to see if I was going to be okay. What the fuck kind of hero is that? Oh right , at the end of the day, Roxi is far from the heor that I was once dumb enough to imagine that she was. After that tag team match… when my father’s death became public knowledge…”
I paused and sighed, the feeling inside of me only growing more and more bitter. I remember feeling the expectation that Roxi was going to at least reach out to me. I remember thinking that because we were on good terms at that point, that she would come to me after the match was over and see if I needed anything. I was feeling that empty pit in my stomach all over again when I realized that she had moved forward with her life like nothing happened. Not only did she not check up on me after my father had passed away, she never even reached out to me in any medium or in any capacity to apologize for anything. Remembering how she accepted her tainted victory in that tag team match and feeling that disappointment all over again had me reaching for a Roxi poster, ripping it right off the wall and shoving it straight into the garbage bag.
“She only cared for herself… and I knew who the fuck Roxi johnsn really is…”
“Need some help with trashing all of this?” Clarissa asked me.
“At least YOU are a real friend…” I said with a nod as we both ripped the remaining Roxi posters off the wall, knocked down all the action figures I had of her, breaking some in the process, taking those old comic books I drew of us being superheroes together and tearing them to shreds before trashing them and successfully filling up the bag with everything that reminded me of the weak little daddy’s girl I had decided not to be anymore. The bedroom was completely empty and devoid of any color or of any personality. It no longer contained any memories of me being the weak, pathetic princess I had been when I had entered this business and joined Sin City Wrestling.
“I’m so glad that all the pathetic memories are gone…” I said to Clarissa as we both left the room and walked out of my parents’ home. “There’s just one thing left to do, Clarissa, and you’re going to personally enjoy this.”
Clarissa and I, while I was carrying the garbage bag, walked to a familiar, empty building that I had been so familiar with throughout my entire life. This empty building had a construction worker inside of a wrecking ball and crane and I could only smile with bitter, evil intentions in mine when I saw the words “Hernandez Wrestling School” on it.
“The final piece of my father that is still standing… but it won’t be standing for much longer!”
“Thank GOD!” Clarissa stated. “My own wrestling dreams died in that building when your father assaulted me in the fashion that he did!”
“I really hope my dad is having a whole lot of fun burning in hell right now…” I said without remorse. “Enough of this crap! We’re about to knock this fucker right down to the ground!”
Unfortunately, before I could give the signal to tear down the most significant remaining piece of my father's legacy, I heard my brother’s voice from behind.
“What the hell are you doing?”
I heard my mother gasp behind us and before I knew it, they were both standing right in front of me. The presence of my mother and my older brother only angered me even more.
“Eddie, what the hell does it look like I’m doing? Dad’s school is going to join him in hell, that’s what is going to happen.”
“You can’t be doing this…”
“Yes I can…” I told him. “Dad left me with a huge inheritance remember? That would include the school that he once trained me in and therefore, I have every right to do whatever the hell I want with it and this piece of shit is going to be torn down whether you and mom like it or not. I am DONE fighting for the honor of this family! I am done being a part of this fucked up family! I am going to get rid of every piece of dad’s legacy that I can and continue to build my own WITHOUT the family name being attached to it! There is NOTHING that you can do to stop me!”
“Why are you doing this, Andrea?” my mother asked with a soft whimper. “How can you do that to Christina? How can you betray a family friendship like that?”
“How can you betray everything that dad raised you to be?” Eddie said. In response, Clarissa and I had a chuckle to ourselves.
“Don’t play innocent! You knew about Dad’s affair, didn’t you?”
Mentioning this caused my mother to cringe, which told me everything I needed to know.
“You knew it too, didn’t you, Mom? And you stayed with him after that? PATHETIC!”
“Andrea… honey…” my mother tried to plead. “...there’s no need for you to be like this. Why have you betrayed our family?”
“Don’t cry about betrayal when this family betrayed me first…” I said with a cold tone in my voice, causing my brother and mother to widen their eyes.
“I don’t understand…” my mother said.
“Let me break it down for you then…” I began. “Remember my summer of hell? Remember when I lost the title? Did you two come by to check on me? No, you just left me empty text messages! ‘I’m so sorry!’. ‘You’ll bounce back’. ‘You’ll get through this’. It was nothing but a bunch of empty fucking bullshit from both of you and neither one of you even bothered to ask me if there was anything that you could do for me. You just moved on with your lives figuring that you were too good to help me! Then dad dies… and I dedicate the tag team match that I had with Roxi and Christina… and I put my soul on the line for the family… and the referee fucking SCREWS ME! You two couldn’t even do so much as even leave me your empty text messages at that point…”
My look of anger caused my eyes to be engulfed in an angry fire and increasingly, I could sense that they were becoming more and more afraid of me.
“I was going through MY SHIT TOO! But all YOU could focus on was YOUR own pain after your TRASH, CHEATING HUSBAND DIED OF A HEART ATTACK THAT HE FUCKING DESERVED IN THE FIRST PLACE! STEROID ABUSING PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!”
“Don’t talk to mom that way…”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP, EDDIE! It’s MY turn to talk! You two… you never even bothered trying to help me through my pain. You expected me to be strong, you expected me to be there for both of you after you both failed to be there for me. You expected me to fight in your honor and to get the world title back and to make everything so precious again for a BULLSHIT, CORRUPT family legacy! Then… I go into that world title rematch on a fucking losing streak. You couldn’t help me through my pain… but there you two were… expecting me to carry on a tainted legacy… and to cap it all off… I lose that rematch and you two left me your empty texts again. You never BOTHERED to see me in Vegas. You never even BOTHERED to watch my matches in person. You two weren’t there for me, but were expecting me to be there for you?”
I could see guilt appear on the faces of my mother and brother.
“You both failed me as my own blood… going through that summer. My FAMILY… my OWN FAMILY… ABANDONED ME! You two forgot I existed when I had that embarrassing battle royal performance going through the biggest confidence crash in years…”
“I didn’t know you felt that way…” Eddie said with a guilty, sullen tone in his voice.
“We’re sorry Andrea…” my mother said through the tears strolling down her face. “...we had no idea you were in so much pain…”
Clarissa scoffed and rolled her eyes while I didn’t feel one sense of validation from what I felt was an empty apology.
“It’s too late to say sorry…” I told my mother. “You’re not sorry about not being there for me… you’re only sorry because I pointed it out. I’ve done ENOUGH talking… this building is coming down…”
“Andrea…”
“Please rethink this…”
My family’s pleas didn’t affect me at all as I snapped my fingers, giving the signal for the crane worker to put a giant hole in the old building with the wrecking ball. Seeing the pained look on their faces as my father’s old school became rubble brought nothing but sick joy and satisfaction to my face and to my heart. My brother was completely stunned and at a loss for words while my mother had no way of stopping herself from crying.
“Is there anything that you have to say now?” I asked them with a sneer on my face. “You two really don’t give a fuck about me! In fact, you two were in my way! This summer of hell that I went through? It’s ALL YOUR FAULT! I’m DONE holding myself back for you two… and I’m especially done holding myself back for a father that never wanted me to be a professional wrestler in the first place…”
Clarissa and I began to walk away, but not without one last word from my mother…
“What has happened to my little girl?”
“She’s with daddy in the grave where she belongs…” I said savagely. Clarissa and I walked away from the scene for the time being, both happy as hell with the fact that I was able to break away from a past that has done nothing but hold me back my entire Sin City Wrestling career…
October 16, 2020
When it came time to express my thoughts on camera, I was standing by a large bonfire that I had made in the middle of the rubble that was my father’s old wrestling school. I felt no remorse for how I had cruelly cut myself off from my own blood as I watched the fire burn. That fire reflected in my eyes when I flashed back to that Father’s Day debacle of a tag match that featured Roxi and Christina on the other side of me. It was that painful memory that drove my bitterness and anger as I began to express my thoughts.
“Have I made it clear enough yet?” I asked. “Does this pathetic excuse of a two-faced roster understand that I’m not the Andrea that you knew? I was THIS close to ending the pathetic career of Seleana Zdunich… but that piece of SHIT had to come back and try to get payback on me. I’ll get to her later… but first, I want to talk about heroes. I want to talk about how much of a waste of time it is to look up to someone. I looked up to Myra Rivers when we first met and she took me under her wing but she turned out to be a massive piece of SHIT human being that abused and tormented me and said I’d never amount to anything. I looked up to my father only to find out that how he brought me up was the OPPOSITE of who he really is. Then there’s you Roxi…”
I narrowed my eyes in anger as I tossed some old Roxi t-shirts from the garbage bag into the bonfire with some old posters to follow.
“How could I EVER be so stupid to EVER look up to you as an idol? I used to shut down all the naysayers that would come out and call you fake! I DEFENDED YOU! I stood by you! I SAW YOU AS A REAL HERO! I will never forget the JOY that I felt in my heart when I realized we were going to be on the same roster. You and I, Roxi, we should’ve had a real friendship because we both fought for the same, idealistic, BULLSHIT! We fought crime in our own personal comic books, god damn it! It was a DREAM to wrestle TWO world championship matches against you in that chamber and in that triple threat! And then… as time went along… as I went through my summer of hell… I realized that you weren’t the hero that daddy’s little girl thought she was. You’ve gone from meaning everything to me to meaning NOTHING to me!
I went through TORMENT ALL SUMMER LONG, Roxi… and you never checked up on me because your little feud with Amber Ryan was more important to you than someone that grew up idolizing you! This nonsense with your wife became more important to you and I realized Roxi, that you are just the same, two-faced, hypocrite bitch like most of that Bombshells locker room that calls themselves a hero! Let me guess… you’re going to wag your finger at me and tell me how disappointed you are in me?”
I paused, scoffing at the idea.
“You don’t have the RIGHT to be disappointed in me. On the CONTRARY, I’ve been very disappointed in YOU all year! It’s not just you being a selfish bitch and focusing on your own needs while I was suffering through hell, it’s also being the disappointment that you’ve been since you lost the world title to Christina. In fact, ever since THAT night… I’ve slowly become disgusted by you! Roxi Johnson isn’t Roxi Johnson anymore. She’s too busy being Amber Ryan’s BITCH! She’s too busy dropping matches to wrestlers she should be beating in her sleep such as Kate Steele and some of the new girls on the block that have gotten here lately. And to think… I grew up wanting to be a FRAUD like you when all along, I should’ve looked up to someone REAL and GENUINE like Amber? I’ll NEVER forgive you for how you abandoned me during my summer of hell, Roxi! When I needed you to be a superhero for me… you weren’t. You never even TRIED to reach out to me aside from some empty, congratulatory Twitter comments. The truth of the matter is, Roxi… I have no time for you anymore… like my father… you’re dead to me…
I paused at this point and I tossed some old Roxi Johnson action figures and the shreds of the comics I drew with the two of us being superheroes into the fire.
“The good news is Roxi… you’re not the biggest fraud in this division… that would be your partner. Real cute Christina… real cute… you want to get your little revenge on me? You want to ruin my party after I beat the shit out of your wife and you want me at High Stakes in an “I Quit” match?”
I paused and scoffed at the notion as I dumped the rest of the contents of the trash bag into the bonfire… with the exception of a picture frame that fell out and didn’t land inside the fire. I picked it up and saw that it was a picture of our fathers as tag team champions in Mexico.
“Face it, Crystal… THIS? We were NEVER going to replicate that! You want to follow in daddy’s footsteps, that’s fine… but I’m not playing that weak SHIT anymore!”
With that, I tossed the picture into the fire, smirking as I watched it burn.
“I guess the only two words to really say is ‘go figure’ because the entire time I’ve been a part of the Sin City Wrestling roster, you’ve done nothing but try to upstage me and be better than me. From the moment that I heard you try to compare yourself to me the first time we were ever in the same match in that six way elimination chamber that Roxi won, I’ve been disgusted by the notion of your existence. You couldn’t leave me alone, could you? No… you had to face me at My Bloody Valentine. You HAD to challenge me not because you ever wanted to be my friend, but because you wanted to upstage me, be better than me, and snuff out my light just so you can say that you got a big win over the biggest rising star on the Bombshells roster! But… that didn’t work out so well for you, did it? That’s the match that should’ve taught you that lesson… but NO… you STILL wanted to be friends with me. Remember when you showed me that picture that I JUST dumped into the fire? I do! I remember how much I wanted to vomit when the cameras came off! You STILL wouldn’t leave well enough alone. You just HAD to win the world title from Roxi, didn’t you? You know how disgusted I felt about that. It made BEATING YOU FOR THE WORLD TITLE feel SO MUCH BETTER and you know what the best part about beating you AGAIN when I retained that same world championship against you three weeks after the fact was… aside from… you know… BEATING YOU AGAIN and REMAINING SCW BOMBSHELLS WORLD CHAMPION?
It was FINALLY moving on from you! It was FINALLY, AT LAST, not having to pretend… FINALLY… I didn’t have to be nice to you just to put up a front considering that this whole entire time, I have hated you from the start! From the moment you compared yourself to me in the build up to that chamber match, I… HATED… YOUR… GUTS! You don’t have the RIGHT to compare yourself to me! And even after it was all over… you STILL couldn’t leave it alone, could you? After I lost the world title, you HAD to ABUSE your Queen of the Day power to be in another match with me and even give yourself the opportunity for a title shot! TYPICAL CHRISTINA! Your psychotic obsession with me CONTINUED to grow under historically DISGUSTING proportions! You booked that match not just for the title shot, but you also booked it because of your fucking ego… because you hated that I had beaten you THREE times and you wanted to get just ONE win over me! You wanted to beat me to make YOUR story better. That tag team match that we had on Father’s Day about as weak after my dad died? Did you have ANY idea how much that fucking BROKE ME? The WORST part of that wasn’t even losing to you and getting pinned by you… the WORST part about that wasn’t even failing my father… the WORST part is that YOU had a win against ME in the record books… that ISN’T EVEN LEGITIMATE!
I wasn’t even the legal wrestler at that point. I get it, it wasn’t exactly your fault that the referee during that match was an incompetent piece of shit. But you know what that tag team match proves, Christina? It proves that unless there’s some fucked up nonsense like an incompetent referee… unless there’s some asterisk attached to it… that straight up? You can’t beat me… and it STILL eats at you and don’t tell me it doesn’t!
Every other time?
I’ve beaten you straight up! You didn’t check up on me after Summer XXXtreme to be my friend… you did it so you could poke the bear again! You did it so you could take advantage of the weakest state I had ever been in, in my entire Sin City Wrestling career… because deep down, you KNOW that you got away with BULLSHIT in that tag team match… that the one time that you ‘beat me’... it was illegitimate! Once again, Crystaltinaflopovich is all about that ego and that’s the one thing that’s been so consistent with you because it sure as hell hasn’t been being a main event megastar ever since I deported your hyphenated Latina dumbass out of the world title picture that you’ve failed SO BAD to get back into! Does it make a little more sense why I did what I did to you?
I did it so you could finally get the fucking message that you will NEVER… EVER shine in my spotlight… that you will NEVER be better than me… that you will NEVER enjoy the PRIVILEGE of basking in my glow. The ONLY regret that I have about what I did to you is that I didn’t finish the fucking job and rid you from my career forever! And even AFTER ALL THIS… you’re STILL trying so hard to be better than me! Nearly a year of the same old shit with you! This isn’t about revenge for you… it’s about finally proving that you can be better than me. I don’t need to face you at High Stakes, honestly. But YOU need to face me… YOU need it… because without that match against me?
You could NEVER validate yourself! You could NEVER fulfill your own ego!
Let go of such an egotistical, empty dream Crystal.
On Sunday?
How about I give you another concussion so you FINALLY get the damn message? How about I find your daughter and give her the beating mommy should’ve given her a long time ago? Would you get the message then?
Sunday?
It’s not lights, camera, action…
It’s lights out for you!
Because Sunday?
Your High Stakes hopes and dreams are going to be just like my father…
Dead… cremated… and BURIED!!!!”
I stared into the bonfire looking forward to a long-awaited revenge four months in the making… as well as extinguishing the idea of Crystal ever being better than me...
