December 16, 2019
“This is not how I wanted to end the year” I thought to myself the morning after the biggest match of my career. It was a fresh wound knowing that I’ve now had three opportunities to become a world champion only to fall short each time. Granted, this wasn’t as painful as that ladder match nonsense in my previous company, but the pain was still flowing through my veins. I sighed, not paying any attention at all to Chelsea LeClair even though she was the one that helped me get over what had happened in OCW.
Of course, being eliminated by Alicia Lukas only made me feel that much worse as I blankly stared at the plate of breakfast I was having at the diner that morning, but that was a different matter altogether. Chelsea, a look of concern in her eyes and all, poked at my food with a fork which finally caught my full attention.
“What?” I said to Chelsea.
“I understand that last night didn’t go how you wanted to and I get that it hurts…” Chelsea’s attempts to console me just drew eye rolling out of me. “...but you can’t let it get to you like this.”
“It was only the biggest match of my career, Chels. I didn’t win. I finished fourth.” I scoffed with disgust at this fact.
“Why do you always have to be hard on yourself?” Chelsea asked me. “Can’t you see the glass half full for once? I was really hoping we’d have the celebration tonight anyway.”
“No” I quickly said. “There’s nothing to celebrate.”
“Oh but there IS everything to celebrate, Andi” she told me as I became annoyed by her persistence. “You broke down that door to the bombshells division that only so few ever have. You had the best year of your career. You overcame so much. You weren’t even supposed to BE in a match like last night’s so soon. The fact that you finished 4th in a match like that… hell… the fact that you were even in the match at ALL is something to celebrate.”
“I don’t celebrate moral victories, Chelsea. That’s for those that are at the very bottom”
I raised my eyebrows at Chelsea, needlessly mocking her for where she was at in her career in a very backhanded way. Chelsea knew it with her eyes indicating quite a lot of sadness.
“I was never going to be happy with just ‘being in that match’, that’s loser talk” I continued. “The only way I was ever going to be happy last night was by winning my first world championship.”
“Look Andi, whatever. I’m still celebrating tonight. If you want to join me, fine. If not, that’s okay too.” Chelsea paused to sigh at my stubbornness. “I just think it’s ironic that for someone who wanted to rebel against her family so much, you ended up being just like them. I’ll see you whenever. It’s just a shame that I really didn’t get through to you as much as I thought I did.”
Chelsea disappointingly stands up.
“I’m not paying for our breakfast…” she told me as she turned and left the restaurant. Chelsea’s words got to me, though I wasn’t showing it. I was definitely feeling the guilt with the way I was acting. I knew right away that I had messed up with the way I was treating the opportunity that I had the night before. That guilt spread in my gut once I realized how much of an ungrateful bitch I was acting not just toward Chelsea, but the opportunity as well.
“Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself…” I thought. “But I can’t help it. I’m wired to. Nobody but me knows how hard I kicked my own ass… psychologically, not physically… with my first loss in SCW. Every time I lose a match, I feel like a failure. I feel like I do nothing but disappoint everyone. It’s ridiculous… I shouldn’t feel that way… especially when I’ve become so successful in the last two years… but with the way I was raised… the way I was trained…”
I paused to reflect on when I first started to train to be a wrestler nearly a decade ago…
Flashback
May 2010
“Nobody expected me to get to this point, to even challenge one of the best in the world…” I would hear a young, then-21 year old wrestler from a formerly opened promotion say on television. “I survived everything he gave me… against all odds! I may not have won last week, but I know I made him realize that I’m going to be a thorn in his side for many years to come and that’s a victory for me!”
My eyes lit up, hearing those words from the young lady. I could feel the inspiration from her and I wanted to hear more but the television in my bedroom shut off abruptly and I’d turn to see my father standing there.
“Dad…” I told him. “I was watching that.”
“I’m glad you were. It certainly was a great lesson” he told me.
“You bet!” my naive, 16-year-old self responded. “That was incredibly inspirational! She comes from a small town just like I do, been through so much… against all odds… just like me and nobody expected her to even break into the business. What a great example! She lost, but she responds like a winner.”
“Actually Andrea…” my father paused and sighed. “She responded like a loser.”
“What?” I responded with confusion.
“That’s the attitude of a loser. She’s taking a cheap, baseless, moral victory. It doesn’t matter that she pushed Jason Schneider to the limit. She wasted her opportunity against one of the best in the world.”
“Dad, I don’t understand…”
“The victory is what matters, Andrea… and nothing but the victory. In this business, that’s the ONLY thing that matters. How hard you fought… how good you fought… how much you pushed your opponent? If you don’t win… all of that means jack shit! The VICTORY is the ONLY thing that matters. You’ll do well to remember that…”
My father left the room… and with it, he left behind a mantra that he had just instilled in me… one which… for better or worse… drives me to this very day.
End Flashback
Snapping out of flashback mode, I sighed as I was beginning to question whether or not that mantra held weight anymore.
“Victory is the only thing that matters…” I said to myself before going quiet and leaving the diner.
January 6, 2020
“In my family… excellence is not a desire… it’s an EXPECTATION” I reflected to myself as I sat in my living room. “Moral victories are symbols of mediocrity. That’s the way my dad taught me about this business when I first started training and Myra Lynwood would only further that mantra when she took me under her wing in GCW four years ago. I can’t just be happy with finishing in fucking fourth… and I definitely can’t be happy with just BEING in a match like that. That’s what losers do and I refuse to ever be a loser again!”
The rage and anger in my heart that was still burning from that bombshell championship match was very much prevalent at this point.
“I can’t fail…” I said to myself. “Jessie Salco is the first obstacle in front of me in 2020 and I refuse to accept mediocrity in losing to her. I’m not about to be knocked back down to the Bella Madison rung of the Bombshell division ladder for fuck’s sake! I proved that I can be a main event player and when I get my hands on Jessie, I’m going to show her why I’m going to be one for YEARS to come…”
Determined and angry I stood up, ready to leave my home.
“...first though… I got to see what Chelsea has to say. She says she can help me… she says she has an idea. We’ll see. This should be amusing nonetheless…”
I sighed before leaving my home to hear whatever the hell it was that my former Sedona Sky tag team partner had to say this time.
Later that night…
Lake Pleasant.
This quaint lake slash campground on the outskirts of Phoenix, Arizona is a peaceful place to be. Being here brings back some old childhood memories of when my family and Chelsea would come down here for a weekend every time the 4th of July came up on the calendar. I definitely felt odd about being back here for the first time since I was 15 as I sat on a small cliff overlooking the lake.
“It was a great time being here every year” I remembered. “Then I started my wrestling training and Dad stopped bringing me here because it was a ‘distraction’...”
“You and that family of yours…” I heard Chelsea’s familiar voice come from behind me. I was already confused by the fact that she wanted me to come here but that confusion would grow even more when I saw that she was carrying a couple of baskets full of stones. “I can never be mad at you being such a hardass because your dad made you that way.”
“Yeah…” I sighed. “You got that right. What’s with the stones, Chels?”
“It’s for the start of the healing process…” she told me. “You can never be what you want to be until you let go of the past… completely! In other words… you’ll never be a world champion until you allow yourself to heal!”
“But I have…” I insisted. “You helped me move past that ladder match in OCW, remember?”
“Please…” she scoffed. “That’s just ONE thing. You need to do a lot more healing than that.”
“Why are you doing this, Chelsea?”
“Because… I want my best friend back, that’s why! Every single stone in this basket… is a bad memory from anything that has to do with your career…”
“I see…” I said with reluctance.
“All YOU have to do is briefly pick out one bad memory and when you chuck a stone into the lake… that bad memory is off your back for good and you’ll never be burdened by it again. If you really want to be the world champion you’ve always wanted to be, you will learn from the pain, heal and move on!”
“Since when did you become a psychologist?” I asked.
“It’s an exercise I heard about in therapy” Chelsea responded. “It’s an exercise that I myself haven’t done yet… so I just wanted to share this with you. But before we do that… Andi… it’s not just about letting go of the past… it’s about connecting with people. You can’t just… oh I don’t know… be this solitary, moody person. You can’t hide from the locker room. You’ve got to put yourself out there, make some friends, connect with the people, all of that. You’ve got to be social for once and quit making EVERYTHING about you and your career. Of course… that’s the next step. We’ve got to do this first…”
“Chelsea… this whole thing is an insane idea…” Chelsea sighed, feeling like I was about to be negative. “But it may be just the thing I need…”
Chelsea’s eyes lit up with a surprising joy.
“I loved coming here every year. I loved being a kid. I loved being so carefree and happy. Even when we first broke into wrestling, we were just young, loose, happy and not worried so much about the world. But look at us now… what we’ve been through has really changed us… and Chels… there’s a growing part of me that really wants it all back. When my dad… and subsequently Myra… took all the fun out of everything for me… I changed. Yes, I became a stronger, better wrestler but apparently at the cost of my happiness and carefree nature…”
I sighed, remembering what was seemingly lost.
“That’s why I want to help you, Andi… and I’m going to propose something to you that you may find crazy.”
“I don’t care…” I responded. “Propose it.”
“I’ve realized… that we need each other. Sedona Sky split how long ago? And I’m STILL struggling as a singles wrestler. And you? All the success in the world, yet you’ve become cold and distant and that’s not the Andrea that I know. Apart, we’re strong but flawed… but together… we’re stronger and better. How about… I help you find that girl again. Why don’t I help you move past your stubborn ways, help you connect with people better, help you learn how to have fun again, help you develop a more fun, lighthearted image that will make you a vibrant personality in addition to being the top-tier wrestler that you are! In exchange… I learn from you. I pick your brain. I shadow your matches. You teach me whatever it is I need to learn about becoming a better wrestler! Your strength is my weakness and my strength is your weakness… why don’t we come together and strengthen our weaknesses?”
“I never thought of it like that…” I admitted. “You help me become a more charismatic, personable, marketable wrestler and I help you be a better one in your own right? Is that what you’re telling me?”
“That’s exactly what I’m proposing.”
“I want to do some healing first… if you don’t mind…”
I picked up a stone from the basket and tossed it into the lake.
“That was for when you betrayed me…”
Chelsea’s eyes widened with surprise as I picked up another stone and tossed it into the lake.
“That was for every single time you annoyed me by trying to be better than me…”
I picked up a third stone and tossed it into the lake.
“And THAT was for when you disappointed me by becoming a drug addict for a time and deepening the divide between us…”
“Okay, this is good…” Chelsea said.
“I had to heal from the damage you did to me…” I paused for a sigh of relief. “...and I’m over it now, Chelsea. Whatever happened before… I’m over it. I accept your proposal…”
“See? That’s how you make progress! You heal from the past and you make yourself better and stronger for it!”
“Yeah…” I responded with a smile on my face. “I get it now… and by the way?”
I picked up a fourth stone from the basket and tossed it into the lake.
“That was for December 2 Dismember. You’re right… I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I should be proud of what I’ve been able to do in such a short time… and I should never let the outcome… or what anyone has to say about me… change that! I guess Jessie Salco will be the first to know that when I beat her on Sunday...”
The relief flowing through my veins was immense and it felt amazing. Deep down in my heart… I knew that the long overdue healing process for everything I had gone through in my past was finally about to begin.
The time had finally arrived for me to learn and heal from my past… to grow from it into the world champion I know I have all the potential in the world of being someday.
January 10, 2020
“Crash and burn, huh?”
I laughed off that defiant tweet that Jessie Salco had done in my direction when our match for the upcoming Climax Control was announced.
“To get right to the point, Jessie Salco… you’re going to regret saying that.”
“Oh yes you are!” I heard a voice from off camera.
“Chelsea…” I said in her direction.
“What? You said I could be in this shot…”
I sighed with a bit of reluctance when my friend Chelsea LeClair sat in front of the camera with me with some papers in her hands.
“So… we’re doing something a little bit different tonight. This is Chelsea… one of my long time friends… we go back to the age of 9… she too is a wrestler.”
“What? Did you expect Andrea to be all moody and cold and talk about how angry she is about not being world champion?” Chelsea said. “OW!”
I elbowed her in the ribs, not taking the joke too well.
“Let’s touch on that subject for a brief moment though before we get to Jessie. The outcome… it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to win and nothing less than that. But… Chelsea made some good points when we talked about it the morning after. The fact that I can come into this division and make such an impact that I’m even able to be in a main event like that against some of the best women’s wrestlers in the world IS a testament to my ability and my potential. Hell, I came into this company late into 2019 like a house of fire beating women like Mercedes Vargas right off the bat and even taking down one half of the High Stakes main event in Seleana Zdunich while also outlasting her in that survival challenge. I’m not one for moral victories… but I DO need to be more positive and keep things into perspective. It was a learning experience for me… one that has put me on a journey to find myself again to become the world champion I know I am destined to be. I’ve come in and had it so much better than some of the more longer-tenured Bombshells…
“Mercedes… Bobbie…” Chelsea reminded the audience. “And by the way… Bobbie? WOW! Talk about a psychotic headcase, am I right?”
“Chelsea’s just trying to emphasize my point. I shouldn’t be hard on myself and I’m going to do the best that I possibly can to be better about it and to see the glass half-full more often.”
“Hey, you know which other long-tenured bombshell you’ve had it better than, lately?” Chelsea asked me. “Jessie Salco!”
“Right…”
“Oh and you know who WASN’T in that survival challenge? That would ALSO be Jessie Salco. In fact, Andi… I’ve done my research on this girl and while YOU were in the main event of December 2 Dismember, you know what she was doing? She was getting her ass beat by Mercedes Vargas! In fact… she had some… choice words to say about her too…”
“Interesting…” I chuckled as I literally took a page from Chelsea’s research. “You want to talk about crashing and burning, Jessie? That’s exactly what you did against Mercedes and you feel like you have that right to talk down to ME? Why? Because you’ve been here a long time? Because you’ve had the occasional title reign? No seriously Jessie, go fuck yourself. You… like Mercedes and so many of the ‘old school bombshells’... fail to understand that this is a ‘what have you done for me lately’ business and… Chelsea… what HAS Jessie Salco done for this business lately…”
Chelsea picks up a poster from a nearby desk revealing a picture of Jessie in a meme format that says “JESSIE SALCO: CRASHING AND BURNING SINCE 2017 (the last time she was a champion in Sin City Wrestling!”
“Exactly! Let’s see… you talked down to Mercedes as if she doesn’t have it anymore, and I’m quoting you here by the way… ‘You were once on my level, Mercedes. You’re a shell of your former self that can’t keep up with the new breed of Bombshells’... and YOU can?”
“Wait… Andi… sorry to interrupt but… I’m SO confused. Hadn’t she JUST lost to Sierra Williams… one of the ‘new breed of bombshells’... like… a week or two before she faced Mercedes? But she talks about MERCEDES being unable to keep up with the new breed? What does ANY of what she said to Mercedes prior to her match EVEN MEAN?”
“Nothing” I scoffed. “Considering the fact that she lost to her, it means NOTHING! I get it, Jessie. Mercedes isn’t exactly the world beater she was a few years ago but that gives you ZERO excuse to go into that match and acting like it was some cheap, easy victory for you. Hell, in all honesty, I have every REASON to go into OUR match with the exact same attitude… only… I’m not you and I’m not going to make that same stupid mistake that you made against Mercedes. You haven’t been a champion in this company since 2017, you couldn’t even qualify for the six pack survival challenge while I did, you’ve NEVER been a Bombshells World Champion… which Mercedes HAS by the way… and you have the NERVE, in your D2D promo… to whine like a bitch about how people see you as an underdog despite what you’ve accomplished. MAYBE if you… oh I don’t know… actually WON a world championship at SOME point in your increasingly overstayed welcome, you wouldn’t be seen as one? Then again, losing to Mercedes doesn’t help either does it? Funny, you were right about her… she’s not at your level anymore… she’s above it and… oh by the way, second match here? I beat her! But you beat Christina Rose a few months ago… true… but the reason why you’ve NEVER been a world champion and probably never will be at this point is because you’ve never been able to win those big matches against those big opponents on a consistent basis.”
“And honestly, Andi… you can even make a case she’s one of the most overrated bombshells ever” Chelsea said. “I’ve done some numbers and… tag title reign? 14 days. Roulette Champion? 21 days… TWICE! FIVE title reigns with THREE of them being 21 days or less. Jessie has been around a long time and she’s been a success… no doubt. But in comparison to the old schoolers like Roxi, and Christina and Sam and Mercedes? Always the bridesmaid, never the bride!”
“That’s about the perfect way to some up your career, huh, Jessie?” I said with some anger in me. “That’s without mentioning the fact that you were on quite the losing streak for some time prior to that win against Christina. But see… those weren’t your only “Jesseisms” recently, were they? I mentioned the loss to Mercedes… the loss to Sierra was damning too… quoting again… “You pick up a few wins and you think you’re hot shit, Sierra”? Hey, at least Sierra knows how to win these days.”
“Ouch…” Chelsea cringed.
“You even SAW beating Sierra as a ‘consolation prize’ for not getting into that match” I reminded my opponent. “And that’s the difference between me and you… I don’t DO ‘consolation prizes’. I don’t SETTLE. YOU on the other hand, were HAPPY to settle for beating Sierra… and you couldn’t even do THAT! Jessie Salco… crashing and burning again! ‘Well, I didn’t get into the chamber but I’ll take the moral victory by beating someone that’s in it instead…’ Makes sense, right? To you it does… but take a long hard look in the mirror and maybe you’ll see why you’ve never been Bombshells Champion…”
“And why you never will be…” Chelsea interjected.
“Chels…”
“What?” She asked. “You’ve thought the same thing. It’s funny how she goes into that triple threat talking about Alice Knight being a “never will be” when she will never be world champion.”
“Don’t even get me STARTED on what she said about Alice…” I sighed with anger. “Fuck it. Yeah, I don’t appreciate what you said about Alice Knight there, Jessie. She and I go pretty far back to OCW and I’ve always had respect for her… one of the few from that company I actually DID have respect for mind you… she’s a HELL of a wrestler who has had her struggles with consistency at times… yes… but for you to denigrate her like that? GOD that pisses me off… and by the way, you weren’t pinned… but once again… in that triple threat match against her and Roxi… you crashed and burned when you had a chance to get to the next level… and then before that you crashed and burned against Lukas… yet you want to act like a pretentious little entitled bitch and act like the five challengers in that match against her weren’t at her level… and YOU are?”
“Hey, she called Roxi a has been by the way” Chelsea reminded me. “And she’s the top bombshell now sooooo….”
“I don’t know what’s worse… losing to a person you called a has been or that same person going on to win the Bombshells title…” I responded.
“Either way, Jessie’s logic crashes and burns” Chelsea says with a laugh.
“You have such a big mouth for someone who has done so little, Jessie…” I say with retained anger. “Yes, you’ve done some things. Internet Champion. Tag Champion. Three time Roulette Champion. But as Sunday is going to prove… no matter what you do… no matter which generation of Bombshells you’re competing in… if your lack of world championships and your inability to hold a championship longer than a few weeks would indicate… there is ALWAYS going to be SOMEONE better than YOU and this Sunday? It’s my turn! There’s no ‘crashing and burning’ with the Phoenix on Sunday… just another chapter in the Phoenix rising to where she’s destined to be. You want to act like a hot shit world title contender… even though you’re far from one in reality? I’ll treat you like one and I’m going to silence that attitude of yours… for a little while anyway. Your only shot against me was if I treat you on Sunday the way you treated Mercedes in your last match.
Sorry Jessie, but despite your relative bridesmaid status compared to the rest of the older generation of this division… that’s not going to happen! What’s going to happen on Sunday is that Jessie Salco will do what she does more often than not when the spotlight is too bright for her… and that’s… shit, what’s that thing she does, Chelsea?”
“Crash and burn!”
“And you’ll deserve it for even thinking you’re superior to me!”
I stand up and shut off the camera feeling a bit delighted that Chelsea and I had some fun together filming that promo. But that smile doesn’t last long. The fun is over. Now it’s time to get back to work and continue to show Sin City Wrestling why I’m the fastest rising bombshell in the division!
