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Topics - Terrorfexx

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21
Symphony of the Iron Underbelly, Movement No. IV – Le Phare Insensé
__________________________________________________________________________________

[The Past – Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana, USA, Spring 1992]

The rhythmic thump of rubber made a beat against glass where the wipers worked at their lazy pace, stretching fat raindrops out into greasy streaks that made the long, single-track road ahead split in two optically impossible directions. Each sweep, accompanied by a high-pitched whine of the driving motor, cleared the windscreen just long enough to pick out a slate-grey spire rising up through the treeline. Ornate, black ironwork topped its crown but the details were lost in the flicker of some beacon light which struggled to penetrate the stormy gloom.

Those same trees bucked and whipped against the powerful wind, muted from high-frequency howl outside to a shuddering, bassy groan which shook and banged the whole vehicle from side-to-side.

A loud tap on the side window made him jerk, knees spontaneously driving up out of the footwell to hit hard against the bottom of the steering wheel. He grimaced, fumbling for the rotary handle down by his side and succeeded only in turning it the wrong way. For a while he just tried harder, straining the whole door as he worked to somehow force the window even further up against its mechanical stops. A bright ring of light burst inside courtesy of a torch shone right in his face. Eventually, eyes squeezed shut in reflex, he blindly tried the other direction and was rewarded by the cool sting of a rainy gale as the glass edged open.

“Ain’t supposed to stop here,” The Guard said, staring hard from underneath a soaked, visor-slashed peaked cap, other hand resting on a brown leather holster strapped to his thigh. “You got business?”

He fumbled for the documents sat over on the empty passenger seat, gathering up ochre-coloured folders and dog-eared reams of paper and rifling through them. The torch beam wandered – blessedly away from his face – and swept through the interior, finding nothing but a scuffed suitcase and a folded greatcoat stuffed underneath.

The torch swung back forward in time to catch the laminated edge of an identity card pushed between the open glass and the doorframe.

“Doctor … DeLune … ” The Guard read out verbatim, turning the card over and checking the back. Satisfied, his free hand moved away from his hip and he stood up a little straighter, letting the torchlight drop down to make the rain-slicked, chrome wheels shine. “Fancy. What’s it mean?”

“Of or relating to the Moon,” The Doctor replied as he tried to bring order back to the mess of papers spilling over his lap.

The Guard shrugged. “Fancy,” He repeated, bracing himself against the doorframe as the wind abruptly changed direction and tried to take him off his feet. “Anyway Doc … First time here?”

He nodded.

“Ain’t no stopping on this access road – whole way down from highway turn-off to front door of the hospital. Think it reasonable you already know why.”

Flicking through the stack, DeLune gave up and dumped them back on the passenger side before glancing up. “Yes, that makes sense. I’m sorry, I just got lost in thought.”

That made the larger man with the bright torch laugh, but it wasn’t one made with humour; that chuckle owed more to something bitter. “Plenty folk lost in thought around here,” He said. “We just prefer they don’t get in your car and do it when you ain’t expecting company.”

Tapping the roof of the car with the flat of his palm and sending water splashing over the door rim, the Guard nodded and stepped back. “You’re good to go, Doc. Have a good evening – and be careful.”

Getting the winding handle going in the right direction, he nodded. “Thank you.”

Wet gravel crunched under the weight of rolling tyres, spilling out to either side to make shallow furrows that followed the car all the way through the storm. Every so often, he’d pass through a perimeter gate, manned by the same dour-looking guards in their olive-green uniforms and peaked caps. All armed. None of the walls were obvious – cleverly disguised by deliberately cultivated hedges or ivy vines, or hidden behind thickets of trees. A very modern approach; an effort to be secure without looking like a place of imprisonment or punishment.

Another guard checked his credentials, hand never moving far from that leather holster before waving him through. Make no mistake, however. There were gates and walls. And guns. DeLune glanced at the documents over on the passenger seat as the hospital loomed up ahead. From only what he’d read, all of that was justifiable. Even necessary.

There’d been some significant effort to make the fabric of the building and its grounds a little more conducive to modern, sophisticated healing methods – and a little further from its vaguely pseudo-gothic architectural origins which, with the benefit of hindsight, had not aged at all well. The original severe stonework, all sharp angles and pointed buttresses edged with sinister stone supporters, had been painted bright, gentle pastel with light blue window frames inset all along the vast east and western wings.

Orange-painted trestles, bolted a little off the outer cladding, gave green curtains of Clematis purchase to sweep all across and up over the grey-slate, triangular roof spaces. Inset into the walls at regular intervals were empty alcoves, presumably where stern statues of better examples stood in silent judgement over the unwell with their faces set in permanent, marble disapproval.

Instead, there were sculptures of polished metal, varnished wood and bright composite plastic scattered all around the immaculately-kept lawns. None of them looked like anything specific; all very subjective for the eye of the beholder. Designed for thinking. DeLune nodded as he shut the engine off, struggling to push open the driver’s side door in the gale and lever himself up and out. What else was there to do for the kind of people lost in thought here?   

The central spire of the hospital, though … That had escaped whatever process of gentrification had transformed the rest of the structure into something slightly less oppressive. None of the soft hued paint made it to the summit and with his neck craned up to see beyond the gutters overflowing with rainwater above, the Doctor could just about make out cold stone faces looking back down from positions of absolute moral and religious authority.

He could see the details of the ironwork now that surrounded the dome at the tower’s peak, illuminated by the pseudo-lighthouse; images of angels and other celestial heroes extending sculpted hands down towards the ground, offering a path of salvation for the sinners presumably wandering the lawns, lost in thought. Just lost. Age and neglect had let corrosion set in, and orange lines of oxidisation trailed from the eyes of the angels and made them look like they were weeping.

Pulling the folds of his suit jacket over the stack of documents awkwardly clutched against his stomach, DeLune hurried up wide, slick steps to disappear under the angels’ gaze – buffeted all the while from seemingly random direction by the relentless wind. He had no doubt in the hundred years plus of operation of this hospital, they had seen sights craven enough to make even celestials sob in sympathy. 

And he was right.

Sister Superior Esmarelda could tell a brand new visitor from a more regular one just by the sound their shoes made on the polished floor of the vestibule. That distinctive, irregular tap-tap-tap that betrayed a brisk pace brought to a sudden halt by confusion – was this the right way? – and then stuttering, hesitant footfalls. A squeal of heels in the about-face, back the way they’d come … And then, eventually, certainty and a regular rhythm of shoe leather on lime green tiles.

She rose from her position at the Nurse’s Station, setting a silver pen in her hand down in its proper place perfectly parallel to the Daily Occurrence Log. He came into view a moment later, dripping wet and struggling to keep something tight against his gut.

“May I help you?” She said, and in his surprise he dropped a coat full of papers and folders down to spill in a lazy spiral around his damp feet. Outside, the wind banged hard against the roof tiles.

Dropping down onto the tiles, making muddy trails with the edges of his shoes, he smeared documents through earthy rainwater as he tried to gather them in. She watched, arching an eyebrow before stepping around the station, sweeping up the washed-out pink hem of her dress and stooping down to help.

“I am Sister Superior Esmarelda,” She tried again.

He looked up, eyes narrowed in confusion. “I’m sorry?”

She smiled, handing him a sodden stack of paper. “Esmarelda. I assume you know where you are?”

“What? North Palladium Psychiatric Hospital …”

“Very good,” She nodded. “Do you know why you’re here and who you are?”

Accepting the papers, he froze in mid-handover, confusion giving way first to a frown, then realisation. “Of course I know … I’m not a patient!”

The Sister Superior smiled. “Of that I’m quite sure – none of my patients would ever be out in such a storm unaccounted for. But … We are occasionally visited by prospective patients …”

“Doctor Markus DeLune,” He finally managed. “I’m neither a resident here nor looking to become so.”

Climbing up to her feet, Esmarelda nodded and smoothed the wrinkles of her dress back down. “Of course, Doctor. We weren’t expecting you until …” She glanced up at the large chrome-circled clock over the Nurse’s Station behind. “ … Much later this morning. After dawn, preferably. Breakfast is a very busy period.”

“My schedule was adjusted at short notice.” A lie – he had nowhere else better to be. With a grunt of effort, he stood and swung the stack of slick paperwork over onto the lip of the Nurse’s Station window. The shiny wet fabric of his trousers, stained brown with trodden mud, stuck unpleasantly to his knees. “I felt it better to come as soon as possible after receiving your referral.”

The smile on Esmarelda’s face wavered for a second, its brilliance spinning on the edge of losing lustre, before stabilising. “We didn’t want to go out of state, not simply because of the expense of course; it’s also difficult to build trust in such circumstances with strangers but …”

They walked together, shoes clicking loudly in-step against the lime green tiles. “ … She’s not progressing, Doctor and with her familial situation, discretion is essential. There is significant pressure from the Governor’s Office … I’m sure you understand.”

He did, but found the whole circumstance around that necessary discretion distasteful. Marcus didn’t care for it – all he was interested in was the syndrome. The illness. The problem. Whatever the circumstances were which made it more pressing simply gave him the necessary expediency to move forward all the more quickly.

The corridors began to narrow as they passed through the first treatment and accommodation wards. This area was bright and airy and every room was open – or lacking any visible external locks to keep their incumbents inside. In the early morning it was quiet but the soft tones of radio chatter crept out to sing from thin slits of light, leaking underneath every other closed door. Artwork and stories were pinned up on cork boards. Sunny fields, happy families. He thought he recognised a particularly beautiful watercolour of the planet Venus, stopping to admire sulphuric-acid rain clouds brooding high in its molten-lead furnace skies.

“Any support from Baton Rouge?” He asked idly, still studying the tesserae formations on Earth’s so-called “twin”.

The Sister Superior nodded. “We’ve had several consultants – specialists in their field, I’m told – from the State Capital. None have made any significant progress.”

He walked on. “Specialists in failure,” Marcus said simply. She didn’t reply.

Eventually, the corridor they walked came to an abrupt end at a double-set oak door. It was painted a soft blue, but DeLune could easily pick out several less-than-disarming features. It was thick, with obvious metal plating bolted onto its varnished surface to reinforce and resist brute force. The hinges were thick and utilitarian, and in the narrow gap where the doors met he could just make out the radii of multiple deadbolts strung between.

Esmarelda reached into the folds of her dress to produce a set of tarnished silver keys, swinging them on a wide brass ring and sorting through each one with a forefinger. “Did you review the case notes? Or at least … What’s left of them?”

The Doctor nodded, studying the door. “Of course, but if they were written by your “specialists” then they’re worthless. Filled with all the things they tried that didn’t work and all the things they were going to try, that still wouldn’t work.”

Again, she didn’t say anything in reply; instead focusing on unlocking the doors ahead and heaving one open with the meat of her shoulder. They both stepped through and she secured them again behind. The boom of deadbolts sliding into place made the oak rattle against its hinges.

Here, the decor became more restrained. Still pastel-light, but the plastered walls gave way to painted brick. The windows on either side of the corridor still looked out onto the lawns but they lacked any obvious latches, except partitions far too high up for anyone to reach for let alone climb. There were locks now on the external faces of every room.

Marcus ran a hand through his damp hair. “How long has she been here now?”

“Admitted a year ago on Tuesday,” Esmarelda replied. “Just before her birthday, actually.”

“Any personal visitors?”

The Sister Superior opened her mouth, but hesitated. “ … Are you talking about family members?”

He nodded, she still hesitated. “ … I’d have thought, considering the sensitivities, you’d know that was unlikely.”

That made him pause, right in front of a table and chairs set into an alcove off the main corridor. He gave it a gentle heave but it didn’t move – bolted securely to the tiled floor. Same with the chair. “ … Unlikely?”

Esmarelda pursed her lips, stopped and turned until they were only a few feet apart. “Once. Seven or so weeks after initial admission. Her mother, and …”

He forgot the table, using it to push himself off and around to face the Sister Superior. “And?”

She swallowed, looking over her shoulder as if somehow staff or patient had used the build in their conversation to sneak up unawares. Rain sprayed against the window nearby, firing machine-gun droplets driven by the gale in a wide arc that rattled every pane. For just a second, the overhead lights flickered.

“ … Her sister.”

DeLune blinked in genuine surprise, beginning to flex the fingers of a hand. “That was not mentioned in the case files.”

She shook her head. “It wasn’t officially recorded.”

“Yes – because it wasn’t a very good idea. Not at all.”

“I know,” Esmarelda conceded. “They didn't speak for long–”

“They spoke?” He interrupted, fingers snapping closed repeatedly to loudly tap against his palm. “She and her sister were face to face?”

“Face-to-grill-to-face,” She corrected, beginning to move off again down the corridor.

He followed. “That was not a very good idea at all.”     

There was no way to disguise the way this ward came to its abrupt end, and they both stopped before a heavy steel door flanked by wide ribbons of four inch-thick, toughened glass. Depressing a button on the intercom mounted into the wall space, Esmarelda stepped back until a loud buzzer screeched in two short, sharp bursts of gibberish noise. Motioning for him to do the same, she pressed her identification card up against the reinforced glass. The panes were coloured, translucent – hard to get a clear view but he could see someone beyond. Moving.

Another shriek of white noise, and the door slowly swung open.

They stepped into something that looked more appropriate of a submarine or spacecraft, where equalisation of vastly different atmospheric pressures prevented your constituent body parts being reduced to a fine, misted jam. A short chamber with an identical steel door at the opposite end, between which a security station ran the whole length of one side. A guard wearing that familiar olive-green uniform – armed, naturally – stood expressionless through more protective glass.

“Sharps and potential weapons in the tray,” She said, beginning to divest herself of the key bunch, pens, earrings. He nodded and did likewise, carefully folding the silver-plated arms of the reading glasses drawn from an inside pocket. Patting himself down, he turned straight into an arched eyebrow.

“Do you mind?” The Sister Superior said. He frowned, and she spun her finger in a circle above his head. DeLune did as he could best divine, turning to face the back of the Guard’s head who had likewise shifted around. He was dimly aware of the working of a zipper and the ruffle of fabric.

“There,” Esmarelda said, dropping her bra onto the tray. Her severe french twist was gone, the bobby pins thrown in to leave her hair loose and about her shoulders.

“Potential weapons,” She said simply. “You’ll need to lose your tie, Doctor.”

Tugging it free, he nodded. Finally satisfied, the Guard raised his thumb, sealed the door in and opened the way through with another piercing, grating, metallic bark of pure speaker noise.

“It’s certainly maximum security,” The Doctor ventured as he followed the Sister Superior through. She shook her head as they climbed over the raised lip of the reinforced doorframe. As soon as they cleared the threshold, the hatch began to close and slammed shut with the muffled bang of steel-on-rubber dampeners. Deadbolts fired in a multimodal thump.

For the first time, he couldn’t hear the storm carried on that maddening, incessant, howling wind.

“We don’t use that term here,” She said. “Welcome to Critical Care, Doctor DeLune.”
_________________________________________________________________________________

[The Rapture]

The summit is so very high above your head, My Rose, that it must seem conceptual – a thing you are told about, that you crane your neck up towards and yet never see. The Promised Land. Described, watched, externally understood but never experienced. The frame of your reference is always observer, never participant. Up there, a Resplendent Hurricane – the SCW Bombshells’ Champion – continues to break all comers and return them to the slopes gasping for air; twisting in the tightest nooses of their pathetic and reaching excuses, unfulfilled. Failed. Defeated. Miss Ryan becomes more dangerous, more impossible with each passing week. Unassailable. Untouchable. Unstoppable. It is so very fortunate that you do not have to become her latest victim. Instead, you will be safe all the way down here at the cold, lonely base. With me.

We shall revel in the snow together.

I understand your torment. Because she is up there in a whirlwind and you are down here, frustrated and ignored.
Marginalised. Desperate for attention but sidelined and disrespected. Attention that I am so very pleased to give to you, now.

We are all products of the things we say and do. Sometimes it is metaphorical – a dangerous, powerful champion who through relentless strength of will, skill and obsession has become a force of nature such that none in this company or a multitude of others can hope to pass through and survive her. A hurricane painted red that twists and kills about the mountain peak. Alternatively, it could be allegorical. The sum and meandering story of a mysterious stranger, with a sing-song cadence, who chooses to hide her face in the ultimate irony given how much she chooses to show the world; revealing every otherwise hidden detail as plainly as the colour of the masque she wears.

And then there is my newest, most beautiful flower girl. My Rose. You are literal. It is after all, in your name. Beaufort.
Damage. You measure risk, suffering – wounding. While I choose to inflict misery, apply the agony as a force pressing down on a lever, you are so very essential in categorising it. Besides, without a means to quantify pain, what purpose does it fulfil? Hurt without a lesson to learn would only be cruel, and I have so very many things to show you beyond such callousness. The company believes it is the one teaching you a lesson, but they are wrong. Mistaken. These are my lessons and I give each one to you, freely.

I do not think you will be a difficult student, and I am eager to begin your education. Are you ready?
Time to study.

They think you have been foolhardy, rash but they do not see what I see. Such bravery. To be willing to martyr yourself before my Rapture, to willingly give yourself to the misery you are about to experience is a selfless act. And when they see how you suffer,  how you give that pain meaning, context, a sad story to sing sad songs to – a scale of measurement – they will finally give you the respect you deserve. Such a bright spot in the otherwise dark.
A beacon.

You demanded recognition and I will see it given unto you. In Reno, Nevada you will become my entire world and all the stars sentinel above which by their light I wander. But theirs is a cold brightness, and it will not warm you like the Sun does. Maybe, you would have been better off trembling in the glow of the Moon. She does not pretend to be something she is not – like you do.
A wind-swept twister sister.

When you are broken by my painted, thorn-wrapped hand and left for dead at the base of this windswept, lonely mountain, oh the kind things they will say about you. The reputation that will be forged in your pyre.
Made at the moment of breaking.

And to the miseries you must suffer, and categorise – and scale so that all the world can see and contextualise their flinching at the sight of it – we look to your namesake. A Beaufort Wind Scale by coincidence and happenstance; a living categorisation of devastation. Something to stretch from gentle calm to hurricane force. You cannot scale this mountain, My Rose, but I will be so pleased to hurt you commensurately, to simulate the feeling of reaching that summit and facing your doom, as surely as if the Bombshells’ Champion herself were there to send you back down on a carriage of ice and snow dug furrowed into the frozen earth.

We begin placid on your scale, the sea still, like a mirror. It has been so long since you were last this peaceful – we do not succeed in such becalmed conditions and we cannot wait here. This is not a place of growth. Turn into the wind now and feel it whip against your soft skin; squeeze watering eyes closed and shield your blasted features.

Faster.

The trees that girt your path begin to sway, they have always told you where to safely step. Rustling and trembling in the strengthening gale. Lean forward now, push against it. Each movement forward becomes harder than the last. This is the way of progress; nothing easy was ever worth having and you have had such little of value in your unremarkable life thus far. Are you ready? Welcome to Beaufort Scale Five.

Faster.

Branches sag, bending under load; twigs break and scythe through the air to cut your flesh in red lines made weeping ribbons and whip the strength from aching muscles. Do not be frightened – not yet. There is so much more to experience. This is only Scale Eight.

Faster.

Down onto your knees, pull in to yourself. Huddle. You should never have come here, asking for respect. Demanding it. The trees cannot shield you now – they cannot even help themselves and they twist and break and snap. The way ahead, so carefully laid out that has served you so poorly, is swept away. Look at your beautiful potential, standing on the edge of annihilation. For just a singular moment you could be anything, but of course, you are nothing. All the detritus stirs in a whirlwind with you at its eye; sweeping and spinning, cavorting and crashing. Embrace Scale Ten.

Faster.

Do you know, My Rose, what comes at the end of the Beaufort Scale? At the apex, at a rating of Twelve? No prose, no elaborate descriptions; what would be the point? There is nobody left alive to experience it and make suggestions. Hurricane force …
Devastation.
__________________________________________________________________________________

[The Past – Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana, USA, Spring 1992]

Everything was washed-out pink and it made his eyes ache. Breezeblock walls, the utilitarian, concrete-poured furniture – only the odd stainless steel duct escaped a liberal application of migraine-inducing hue. The corridor they stood in extended for fifty metres, illuminated by harsh fluorescent striplights overhead. Red, pulsing strobes gently flickered next to panic alarms spaced equidistantly out. He noticed the green tiles were gone, replaced by thick rubber matting that seamlessly rode up to meet the walls with no gaps between. For the first time, DeLune realised he couldn’t hear anything. Not the storm, not a radio … Not even the thrum of utilities. Even the striplights shone silently.

“Looks like a prison,” He said simply. It did.

“Critical Care underwent a significant redesign several years ago,” She shrugged. “Our most … Thoughtful patients no longer necessarily see any objective reality, so there’s not much point in trying to force one on them. They see what they want to see. We have seen some success with mood painting …”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to massage away the intensity of the unpleasant brightness burning its way in through his eyes, up into the meat of his brain. “How many?”

He followed her as she talked. “Just one now, the girl. The rest were beyond our ability to help and went to federal facilities with better resources.”

DeLune rolled his eyes at that. “ … But not her. Political sensitivities?”

Again, silence in favour of anything else and the Sister Superior stopped in front of the first door on the left. She pressed a thumb against the control panel, lit brightly in an angry red and mounted to the frame. “Barney, Echo-Seven please.”

Something unintelligible echoed back and after a few moments, the panel shifted to green and the sound of heavyset barrel locks pulling backwards into the structure of the door thumped through.

“Now?” He asked, looking around for a clock he knew wouldn’t be in here to confirm.

Esmarelda pulled the door open with a little concentrated effort. “She won’t be asleep. You’re familiar with the contact protocol? The naming convention–”

“Annabelle,” He interrupted. He could feel anticipation building now. “Yes, I know. Don’t use her given name.”

She nodded, and they stepped through.

The actual space they had to move in was small, no more than ten feet square but it contained all the tools needed to monitor and communicate. A triple-secured access door functioned effectively as a window with a thick black cable secured to its front to carry the two-way microphone. Two comfortable, short-back chairs were angled at forty five degrees from each other in front, forming a triangle with a third on the other side looking straight-on. Suspended above on a metal bar hung a range of cathode-ray monitors, displaying various monochrome pictures of areas of the dwelling where the window couldn’t see.

He struggled for a second to settle on a name. Cell? Dwelling? Habitat? The whatever-it-was on the other side looked like any middle-class, suburban house. A sitting room, a bedroom, a parlour, a bathroom. Except everything was washed-out pink. The furniture, the walls, even the taps and the toilet. Little details clamoured for his attention – the way virtually all the sofas and their cushions and blankets dotted around the facsimile seemed like they’d never been so much as looked at, let alone sat on or disturbed. He glanced up at the grainy images on the monitors, trying to glean something more from their pixels. There. The telltale marks of use on one of two beds sat opposite each other at the rear – the one on the left. Subtle depressions in the carpet, from where the weight of a person clambouring on and off had subtly shifted the frame over the months.

The other still stuck fast in its original grooves. There were scuff marks along the skirting boards nearby to either side of the bedroom door, made by the repetitive clatter of shoes kicked off at the heel to bounce against and score wood in the same place.

A well-worn, well-treaded routine. No deviation. Endless repetition. As he expected to see.

The little girl was already sat in the chair opposite, but he hadn’t looked at her. Not yet. First, he needed to listen to what her environment was telling him and then, afterwards, he’d listen to her.

It wasn’t homely – it was pink – but the cost of preparing a purpose-built whatever-this-was reinforced the political sensitivities which kept thrusting foremost into the conversation were neither euphemisms or hyperbole. They were very real, and evidently, very resourceful. For a second his focus slipped, and he wandered off on a mental tangent about just how useful access to that kind of influence might be …

… Back to the task at hand. He’d worked too hard and too long to get this far.

“Hello, Annabelle,” He said as he lowered himself into one of the two chairs arranged in front of the observation window. Esmarelda didn’t join him, preferring to stand immediately behind.

The little girl had nothing of remark that he could see. Blonde, blue eyed in a cobalt dress and light coloured-like-sky undershirt. She had no thousand-yard stare, no gross physical deformity. He couldn’t see any nervous tic or sign of obvious trauma.

But she was still. So very still. The chair she sat in was the same as his; sized for an adult and so perched on the edge her legs dangled over with nothing to brace against … and yet they  just hung limply. Children – young children anyway – fidgeted. Twitched. Moved all the time. A natural consequence of an immature nervous system still learning the subtleties of commanding limbs and associated muscles. This little girl didn’t. Her head didn’t loll, eyes didn’t wander from one distraction to the other and her hands were clasped on top of a red book sat in her lap he couldn’t make out any significant detail of.

“Good Morning,” She said.

Folding one leg over the other, Marcus leaned back and the frame of the chair creaked slightly. “Why are you here?”

Annabelle looked down at the book, then back up. “To protect me.”

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, the Doctor crossed his arms over his chest. “Protect you from who?”

“My sister.”

“Ah, yes,” Marcus nodded. “Abigayle?”

The little girl nodded, and he could see the flesh of her fingers pucker white with the effort of squeezing the spine of the book in-between.

“Are you scared of Abigayle?”

Somewhere behind, the rubber matting under Esmarelda’s feet creaked and betrayed her concern as she moved forward slightly. The frame of his creaking chair tipped almost imperceptibly back as she rested her weight on it.

“She is not well.”

“I think that’s an understatement,” Marcus replied. “She had to be taken away, for the good of the rest of you.”

The cover of the book begins to bow, forced into an upward arc by the applied pressure. “My sister is not sure who–”

“She’s an embarrassment,” Marcus interrupted, leaning forward. “That’s why they keep her locked in a pink box.”

Marcus felt a hand on his shoulder, urgent, pressing, trying to pull him back. “Doctor DeLune–”

He shrugged it off. “That’s why they only visited her once, talking through this window like a trip to the zoo. Have you ever been?”

The little girl shook her head. He continued. “It’s very interesting to see so much life there that isn’t really living. The animals are breathing, they make sounds, they eat, they sleep … But they’re not alive. Not really. And even then, only when someone else is watching. When the visitors all go home, and forget about them, they just stop being real at all. Like being dead without ever dying. What’s the point in that?”

Something right behind his shoulder groaned under stress, and Marcus imagined the tubular plastic was being compressed tight enough to splinter by the Sister Superior’s hand. For whatever reason, maybe in too deep now to stop it, she said nothing. Neither did Annabelle for long moments. He used the silence to continue to pick out the myriad little details flickering on the monitors above his head.

The brass-plated door handles had all begun to tarnish at their very extreme edges – she didn’t grasp them with her whole hand, only levering them with a forefinger or two. Interesting.

“What happens to the animals if they are let out? Do they come back to life? Do people remember them?”

“They can’t be let back out,” He replied without bothering to look down at her from the screens. “Not unless someone helps them to remember who they were before they came there.”

The little girl suddenly releases the pressure on the book and it springs up an inch or two from her lap, before settling back down on the blue-hued, floral-patterned material of her dress. “Could you help them remember?”

“Yes,” He replied immediately. Simply. With all his belief because it was true.

“ … And then they can be let out and come back to life?”

Marcus puffed out his cheeks, making popping sounds until almost all the air had left his lungs. “Maybe. It’s possible. That depends …”

He leaned forwards, clasping his hands together up to the knuckles. “Show me that book.”

“She won’t–”

DeLune held up a palm towards the woman behind, rudely cutting her off in mid-sentence. “I need to know I can trust you, Annabelle.”

And she did, pressing its leatherbound cover up to the thick glass. And he understood.

“Thank you,” Marcus nodded and levered himself up to standing. “We’ll talk again soon.”

It had taken Esmarelda the entire walk back through Critical Care and the lesser-protected treatment wards to finish giving her fury an appropriate release. He did what was expected of him – listened, paid sufficient attention to make it obvious at the very least that her words registered, even if he didn’t offer so much as a single acknowledgement of contrition. After all, if they’d been looking for conventional physicians, he would never have made it past the first guard in the rain.

Eventually, spent or just accepting that he wasn’t going to crumble into tearful apology at this point, the Sister Superior forced the heavy oak door shut, twisted the key in the lock and roughly shoved the bunch back into the folds of her dress. “Well?”

The wide-set windows behind rattled and shook in their frames, courtesy of a wind eager not to be forgotten in the excitement.

“Dictation for Ladies,” He said simply. “First edition, originally published in 1905.”

She shrugged, “Pardon?”

DeLune sighed. “The book – in her lap. Don’t you think that’s an odd choice for a little girl to be so obsessed over? Carrying a favourite toy is one thing but a reference guide on the proper pronunciation, elocution and bearing of a cultural archetype that’s been obsolete for over a century …”

“It belonged to her sister,” Esmarelda shrugged. “That’s why she’s so attached to it. Not the contents.”

“It was owned by the real Annabelle,” Marcus mused, leaning back against the Nurse’s Station, blinking away the last vestiges of haemorrhage-inducing pink from his vision. “How did she get it? During the visit?”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. Apparently while separating out their personal possessions before Annabelle–” The Sister Superior stopped, correcting herself, “ … Before Abigayle got here, there was a mix-up and a few items were mislabeled for the latter. We intercepted them all except that book. I did look into it via written correspondence – apparently it’s some sort of token family trinket that came from Annabelle’s mother, her mother, and so forth. It doesn’t have any actual intrinsic value. Not to them, anyway. It’s worthless. Probably more than a little sexist too …”

“Does now,” Marcus replied. “It can’t have escaped your notice, or those of your fine experts from Baton Rouge, that she’s modelled her speech patterns on it.”

It was Esmarelda’s turn to sigh. “Obviously not, Doctor DeLune. However, I have seen some very unwell people of all ages in my career, and all their associated peculiarities. As this one goes, I can’t say it felt particularly serious compared to the things that meant she ended up having to come here at all.”

“The incident with the real Annabelle?”

She nodded. “Throw in those sensitivities, with the upcoming state elections in the fall, and I’m sure you can understand that news of something like this and the associated … Illness and familial uncertainties might bring an unwelcome spotlight on the Lieutenant Governor at a time in which he is almost certain to progress into senior office.”

Marcus turned his attention to the mostly-dry stack of papers and began to peel them apart. “Governor Sanderton might win re-election.”

The Sister Superior smiled that bright smile again. “And I might have punched you in the mouth for your antics earlier.”

The Doctor nodded absent-mindedly, flicking through a stained ochre folder. “Do the case files include anything on Annabelle?”

“No – why would they? Abigayle is our patient, even if she thinks otherwise.”

Clicking his tongue, Marcus dumped the folder back onto the tabletop. “I’m assuming meeting with Annabelle is out of the question?”

“Practically on the surface of the Moon,” She smiled. “Having a psychologist snooping around the Lieutenant Governor’s family right before a hotly-contested election? Maybe you need to check yourself into this facility for a while, Doctor.”

He didn’t laugh. It wasn’t funny. “Don’t you have anything on her at all?”

Frowning, the Sister Superior moved around to the other side of the Nurse’s Station and pulled open a set of drawers. “The only thing we might have is the notification and processing form her mother filled out on her behalf when they visited …”
 
His head rolled around to fix Esmarelda, solitary eyebrow raising. “You had them fill out paperwork on an off-the-record visit that never officially happened so you could give them badges?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t do anything of the sort, but Barney takes his job very seriously. Here you are.”

Marcus took the proffered file, flicking through the contents rapidly until he came upon a grainy polaroid of mother and daughter – Anabelle - stapled to the very last page. His eyes widened and he tore it free.

“Were you here for this?” He urged, excitement building so rapidly he began to snap his fingers hard against his palm over and over again. “This visit?”

Shaking her head, she pushed the drawer closed. “No – I was on a sabbatical for several weeks. Never met either.”

DeLune smiled and Esmarelda took an unconscious step backwards. “You’ve never seen this file before, have you?”

“No,” She snapped, obviously annoyed and running out of patience with his obtuseness. “Why would I? It’s purely procedural and administrational. Not clinical.”

He spun the polaroid around and tapped a familiar face with his forefinger. “Because if you had, you’d have known that Annabelle and Abigayle are identical twins.”
_________________________________________________________________________________

[The Rapture]

Everything I am, every sinew – every synapse, heartbeat – is given to you, My Rose, and I do not have many left to spare. Savour them. I have heard your frustration, your anger and disbelief at how this world and all her people could be so comfortable in passing you by and I choose now, to stop. Listen to your pain; understand it. Bring it the warm comfort of sympathetic suffering. There is a place for you in the grand design being enacted at the heart of SCW: a celestial machine of gale winds and driving storms, powered by gestalt miseries to which you can contribute your own tender, personalised woe. It will be so beautiful, like you.

Adrienne, you are a tidespring of potential, but that resource cannot be spent on frivolous championship dreams and squandered on ideas above your meagre station.
Look down. The summit you imagine scaling will never be seen by your own eyes in your lifetime; that is not your contribution to make. That is not what you are to power with your efforts.

Take my windswept allegory to the rocky inlet by a roaring sea – the extreme. Look on the scoured walls of a tired lighthouse, mortar swept clean between pockmarked brick, see its pathetic, pulsing lamp struggle to punch narrow beams of relief through storm-tossed skies and finally, blessedly, understand your place in all of this. Does it not bring you peace? Comfort for your pyre?
Relief.

You are not the prize, or the revelation. This is not a journey of self-discovery or affirmation.

You, my Rose, are that foolish lighthouse.
Le Phare Insensé. The warning, to tell others they should never have come here. When we meet in Reno, Nevada and I am content in all of the teaching of the many lessons I have painstakingly prepared to inflict, you will become a symbol for what happens when flower girls rush where metal-worked angels fear to tread. Through your desperation for something approaching relevancy, such lurching missteps on even the most gentle slopes that do not even begin to scale the mountain you so desperately wish to stand on top of, you will serve as a powerful, beautiful reminder.

You should never have come here, Miss Beaufort … But you have, and I am so very glad you did.

Welcome to the Rapture.


22
Character Building Roleplays / All Good Things
« on: February 20, 2022, 03:11:13 PM »
[The Past The Present The Future]

“Miss DeLune, right?”

I only have enough time to turn on my heels.

The round punches through the meat of my shoulder and inertia throws me back. My legs scramble in the mud, but momentum has already swept them out from underneath and for a beautiful, singular second, I am at the apex of my fall. Here, just a little longer – please – I float, and the stars up above shine for me and their constellations tell their stories just for me.

The concrete drives the air from my lungs and as the back of my head crashes down a fraction later, I am blessed with exactly what I asked for. Every higher-order thought dissipates on the rain, flashing to steam against bright red skin. Something animalistic rattles the cage of my scrambled skull, screaming to breathe, screeching for my diaphragm to shake itself free of its spasm. Save us. It does not know why, but my heart is spurred to work harder and so thrashes and rages inside my chest, tugging on every artery and vein connecting it to everywhere else.

Bitter iron fills my mouth, spills over my lips. I cough it up and it splashes frothy, cherry red in flecks all across the asphalt and earth.

He stands over me and I retch, gagging as the autonomic reflex to suck air in fights against the agonising, pain-driven, consuming need to scream out. Neither wins so I choke and gasp and in-between stolen breaths I sob.

A coil of smoke tries to curl clear of the muzzle but the downpour cools it to ambient almost instantaneously. The stink of cordite mixes with blood, finding another way to invade my senses. He does not even look satisfied – like doing this was at least worth it. Instead he hovers, reaches down, and snatches up my purse. He never breaks eye contact even as he rifles through it, helping himself to jewelry and cash. Then he drops it, pulls the hammer back with his thumb and curls a finger inside the trigger guard.

Something hot and wet spreads between my back and the concrete in a thick pool, warming my skin in the cold night air. My lips work silently – I cannot spare the air to make words. His finger squeezes down fractionally, the trigger cocks backwards.

He stops. Hesitates. I have seen that expression before. Curiosity. Morbid, insincere; vile. He watches me squirm, some part of my nervous system falling back on firing any impulse in an attempt to do what will not come naturally. The ruined mess of my shoulder, all shattered bone, ruined ligaments and pulverised muscle pulses. Each contortion forces up a fresh red geyser that spills down the purple slopes of skin. 

Hormones burn their way through my insides, desperately trying to stem shock and prime my body for a fight it has already lost. All they serve to do is extend out this agony. Tears spill from between my blinking eyes, struggling to focus on the blurry face still looking down.

He steps forward and puts his boot down on my prosthetic. The input forces an output, and the plastic fingers rail against the weight. Servo motors whine and then scream, hopelessly outmatched as he presses down. The composite cracks, the underpinning metal frame bending under the load. The feeling is indescribable. Not pain – there are no nerves left to carry such a feeling – but an overwhelming synaptic pressure that builds and pushes on my senses. A crescendo of electrical impulses that hurt as effectively as anything biological until, suddenly, he releases it …

… Only to stamp down with every newton of vindictive force he can muster in such a short distance of travel. The prosthetic shatters and I scream with everything left in my bruised chest. It is beyond anything I have ever felt before, since they took it from me the first time. My stump lashes out, and the last shattered fragments spin away from the endoskeleton to leave it swinging feebly in the rain. He kicks it clear of his sightline, breaking the flailing pieces off and with a steel toe cap on the same boot, taps hard against the porcelain of my mask.

Then, he pushes the safety catch on with a forefinger and lowers the pistol out of sight of my spinning world.

“Not yet …” He murmurs, and a wet grin slips across his face.

And that is when Cassieopia puts a round through his back with the small-calibre, silver-plated pistol held between her shaking hands.

She is crying too.

23
Symphony of the Iron Underbelly, Movement No. III– Mountain Climb
__________________________________________________________________________________

[The Now]

The Human Body is remarkable in its resilience. Blind. Its determination to continue. To live. The miracle of sentience – that quirk of evolution, a beautiful accident or divine essence imbued into us all from beyond some imagined veil – is irrelevant. Upstairs for thinking, downstairs for surviving. Superfluous. Life is fundamentally a relentless effort to continue to exist and only in-between the moments where that is threatened, do we wile away the time thinking great thoughts or making terrible mistakes. Sometimes wonderful tapestries weaving both. The best stories are tragedies.

It is the intervals which vary between those threats. Months, maybe years for the comfortable. Minutes for those walking riskier paths. Time to die.

My conscious mind – me – sees all this, analyses and evaluates it, even as I drop down to my knees. The chair falls too, dragged down by an accidental spasm as my prosthetic misinterprets the misfiring neural impulses flickering in alarm all across my being; crushing the varnished oak between hard plastic fingertips. It begins as pain: whole-body, arcing. We are not ready. Explosive muscle fibres twitch uncontrollably, unsure what they are being asked to do and why. Limbs jerk, and only the composite porcelain over my face stops it being ground into the hard floorboards. No.

That passes, although I do not know how quickly. Time is subjective when it comes to agony, and people, flawed as they are, become notoriously poor at accurately judging its flow when in discomfort.

This is beyond discomfort, and I am so very flawed. Enough.

Numbness replaces everything and a refreshing paralysis takes all feeling. The hand given to me at birth and taken from me a little after jerks, grasping at air and ghosts. Catching shooting stars. Nothing else makes an effort to stir, beyond my chest as it makes hard work of taking staccato gasps. Breathe. I cannot move my head, and so I am left looking over and up at an ornate fireplace dominating the room.

There is a painting of a mountain above it inside a gold-gilt frame, only now beginning to flake where too many rapid heating and cooling cycles above the hearth has flexed the careful leafing past its elastic limit. The artist tells a story of transition, in broad brush strokes thick enough to see the individual bristles permanently indented. Verdant green circles the mountain base – vibrant and full of life. Crowded, competing; vying for the same resources and perhaps, made worse for it. Low-hanging fruit. They are indistinct, just a mass of something with no definition or uniqueness. No challenge.

The air grows thinner and life wilts in the ascent; surrendering to pointed glacial rock and wind-whipped trees stripped of anything but sharp needles to fend off the occasional challenger. Now there is detail, clarity of form. Competition. An emerging tier above the average. At the summit, there stands nothing but the mountaintop, triumphant. Unassailable. Mighty. A snow-capped resting place; a freezing mausoleum for all those that have scaled its heights for the privilege of dying – failed and alone. Pristine and bathed in focus. A Champion.

This is how my conscious mind chooses to spend what might be its final chance to think anything. Meanwhile, my autonomic being is busy giving the former a second chance. Fight. The urge to breathe is magnified ten-fold, lungs straining with the direction – the order – to fill. Adrenaline surges, burning up my blood and replacing it with a distilled rocket fuel. All of this is in service to my heart.

Worn out, stressed beyond maximal tolerance. Fight.

My heart. It belongs to me, but it is not mine. The ridged knot of scar tissue drawing a pink rope from sternum to navel was the door cut in to welcome it. Install it. Make ready the design. A replacement for the god-given one that, like my hand, was taken from me too soon. Improved.

It twists and wails behind aching ribs, swollen and sore. Beating with a weak, turgid effort Fight! It wants to give up – I can feel the fatigue, undercutting numbness and pain. Fight! After all, it has worked tirelessly for two people now. How many more? For how much longer? Until it is done. It was never designed for such hardship, to be pressed into some involuntary servitude in a second life. Suffering is so very good for the soul. Breaking the pact from cradle to grave implicitly signed by every one of us. Voided by blood and fire.

These are questions for the self-aware, and the animal I am now has no time to consider them, so rocket fuel arrives and ignites a cardiac combustion chamber. My heart bucks and judders and flexes every fragile artery with the violence visited on it. For a few moments numbness retreats and the pain resumes; agonising. Whole-body and all-soul.

This cannot last. A temporary reprieve between the threat of death now and in a few minutes’ time. Only the interval has varied.

She is at my side, but I cannot hear her words clearly. Her panicked face passes in front of my view of the mountain, obscuring the base and leaving only the untarnished, magnificent desolation of its peak and summit. The point below which all crane their necks up and wonder and the point above which only one can stand, regarding their lessers with the contempt deserved. Briefly, I wonder if this is what my Resplendent Hurricane sees from her unassailable vantage point.

She fidgets with a black leather case and in her panic, her sweat-slicked fingers slip against the brass catch. Eventually it opens and she pulls the hypodermic needle free, shearing away the plastic safety sleeve and plunging it through a foil top.

The adrenaline reaches the apex of its burn and for a few moments, I have a little freedom to think and to feel. Fight!

“Cassieopia …” I rasp and she stops, hands trembling. The point of the needle wanders in a wide circle in front of my eyes. She leans towards me.

Focus. “Take … It off …”

No. At first she does not understand and I do not have the strength to say it again. It takes precious more moments to compute and, blessedly, realisation dawns. Then she hesitates as if this is some sort of test. Stop this.

“Promise …” I manage. Enough. “Promise on your faith.”

Finally, she understands and accepts and reaches behind my head. There is a moment of more pain, more pressure as she twists the ratchet in the wrong direction and then … Relief. StOp– The straps fall away and now only sweat is left holding the composite mask to my face. Gently, Cassieopia prises the porcelain free and for the first time in so very long, someone sees me. And smiles.

There is a connection now, a bond of sorts. Not simply tools to wield, but the people operating them. Inevitable, given the great design all three of us – my Resplendent Hurricane included – have set in motion. For Cassieopia’s part, she is virtuous, and in that duty collects all sin to her. Amber’s, mine. A wider world sinking into depravity faster than it can invent new ways to debase itself. She is a moral heatsink which draws out the ethical poison of our decision-making, leaving us free to act and not think of the consequences. Dividends that were already making an instrument of lethality that bit more exceptional …

The mountain and the flower girl named after the stars begin to dull. I blink away the colour from her face, and then all the discrete detail of the summit – thick snow and hard rock – blurs together. Something sharp cuts into my neck, but I think it is too late.

I think about my heart as it falters, slows. So tired. After all, it has worked tirelessly for two people now. How many more? For how much longer?

I think I know the answer. Not for very much longer at all.
_________________________________________________________________________________

[The Rapture]

We are all defined by our connections with others, and the exchanges we make in-between. The ties that bind. These external delineations are subtle – after all, it is obvious where the sensory input of one person ends and another begins. We are all individuals, complete and independent regardless of how reliant we might be on others. The sum of the parts. You cannot live inside someone else’s skin, and you cannot scald yourself over a thousand miles’ distance away because your sister did so. You can still feel it.

And yet, the closeness we enjoy with such significant others leaves us open to a different kind of damage. Poison delivered by relationship, injected directly into the soul and finding the mark as surely as hypodermic through flesh into a vein. Wounding-by-proxy.
Betrayal.

Our own, internal, neural networks are mappable. Quantifiable. Magnetically imaged and coloured for ease of interpretation.
Lie still and please try not to move. Swarmed around by learned men and women who poke and prod and try to elicit specific reactions or suppress contraindications. Help me Doctor. Our wider networks, however, are barely qualifiable. Familial, friendship, acquaintanceship-based. Multiple tiers, stacked hierarchically and yet somehow also oddly coexisting: where flesh-and-blood are strangers to one another, and those no more related than any single pair of people are closer than perhaps even siblings.

Curious then, to think about how these wider social and societal networks that we are not directly connected to – that have no Latinised nerve cluster assigned filling the pages of some laborious medical textbook – influence us.
Help us. Affect us. Support us. Can be weaponised against us.

How can we use this offensively?

There is nothing revolutionary about eliminating enemies through targeted destruction of those closest to them. That is simply strategy.
Cold logic. Colonel John. A Warden described a series of five rings, a beautiful euphemism for “targets”, which could be used to achieve victory of which only the outermost circle represented anything approaching traditional warfare. Death. Only there do we find the thrust of a bayonet, riding up as it cuts through flak armour and deflects against the sternum; the kick and whip-crack of a rifle muzzle as the trigger is squeezed hard. Watch the life drain from their eyes.

Focus on the other four rings instead. Eliminate the will of your foe to fight and you do not have to meet his armoured columns across the plains or spin in the hellfire thermals of air-to-air combat.
They will still fight. He will fold before ever meeting you in battle. In war, such things are tolerated – at least for a while. However we are not at war and despite the bravado, brinkmanship and balls already on display across the wider SCW roster, the Blast From The Past tournament is not being contested under Geneva Conventions.

So we must be a little more surreptitious. Measured. Killing is absurd.
Agreed. Besides, you cannot learn any lessons if you are dead, and the great design underway to deliver the Rapture is fundamentally one of lessons to be learned. And applied. And suffered.

So, we cannot simply eliminate connections – people – wholesale. Even if we could do such a thing, vengeance is an incredible motivator and an inexhaustible supply of fuel by which the wronged can extract truly powerful retribution.
Revenge. But they are too important to ignore completely as a legitimate opportunity. Take the special bond that Miss Kat Jones shares with my very own Resplendent Hurricane, Amber Ryan. She is so very lost.

Before this tournament, such things would have been of no importance to me.
They are so important. My beloved Miss Ryan has already set the sky on fire as she soars sunward, and there is no reason to look back at the rapidly shrinking Terra Firma. Except to miss home. Still … Sisters of the Heart and Violence, to use Miss Jones’ own words. How useful that information could yet prove to be. What a delicious happenstance. What a tragedy.

Who forms the most critical nodes of your wider network, Kat? Who are you when we strip away all those interdependencies between you and those most important to your self worth and value.
Your friends. What do we find when the mosaic is decompiled and the first piece, the truest measure of self – internal image, just a little girl from Cincinnati – is left as the only element in play? The truth. I think we find you are nothing but a shallow composite; an output created by the sum of inputs provided by everyone else. But how to test this hypothesis? How to model the means to break you?

The experiment is already underway.
Scientifically grotesque. Your beloved Angel, Miss Ryan, becomes more distorted with each passing week … At least, from your ignorant reference point rolling in the mud with the rest of the unworthy and unsighted, blinking up at the sun with squinting eyes. Looking for a little hope. Instead, in actuality, she rises resplendent and mighty and disregards the earthly concerns of people like you. Her friends. Your sisterhood is broken, over. Rendered obsolete and unfit for a new design and an accompanying age in SCW. 

Has she called you? Did she wish you luck? Did you call her?

So have very many others. This user’s message box is full.
I am sorry.

How does it feel to know your most intimate interdependencies, the fundamental bearers of the network that defines you, cannot muster the interest or energy to do anything but disconnect?
There are so many more worse things than death. Such apathy is a very special kind of misery. Agony. Amber has advanced beyond the petty considerations of your otherwise meaningless friendship. Lost. You talk of shared struggles as if they have built some unconquerable wall of solid stone, but it is made of nothing more than rock shale.

Building sand castles on the beach like a child aping the vast industries of man; silver tubing, heat exchangers, condensate towers and flares burning brightly against the star-studded sky.
Poisoning it and everyone. We do not hear you and we certainly do not see you above the glory of our works. I hear you.

Do not misunderstand me.
She is lying. You will not be struck down by her – nothing as vulgar as mere violence. For even the absence of an input leads to pain. We become conditioned to expect them – perhaps not so different from the machines we make to do our work in production lines all across this modern world – and in their absence, we flail and worry. Is it our fault? Was it something explicit, like a cross word, or implied in body language? Something we failed to say, or do? A misinterpretation? Such a very special kind of misery. Was it my fault?

I am sure the increasingly desperate calls you left her, red MESSAGE WAITING light pulsing forlornly, say more in pseudo-response than any reply – that you will never get – could do.     

The heart of a person is not in their chest, after all – it is in their friends.
Agreed. A distributed cardiac system built on emotions over haemoglobin, feeling replacing plasma. Ignorant of a circulatory system stretching across all the planet and her oceans, independent even of the mighty interval of time; of mortality itself. The heart of the world. To break your heart, Kat, all I have to do is turn them from you. Not against you, merely away. Without ever laying a finger on you, I will slip the blade between your ribs and push up. And what are you without heart?

A little girl from Cincinnati, Ohio. Nothing but history. The past hung over a fireplace in a gilt-gold frame, acting as a reminder – a Blast From The Past – while the present endures and the future prepares to write itself.
Better to die now than live in it. You are nothing more than a spectator. A moon in circle of the world of Mark Cross, where titanic battle will be wrought in a Paradise.

Do you feel the asymmetry? The Imposter Syndrome? You do not belong in this equation or conversation. You are an aberration, a random integer spoiling the set sequence. Stand aside.
Stand and fight.

I have not taken your sister from you, or turned her against you.
She has. I have simply given her the tools to think, and with that newfound insight see that you were never a sister to her at all. A burden to be released, in pursuit of so much more wonderful things.

Accept your role in all of this – nothing. To no-one.

You are unworthy of consideration for inclusion in our grand design, but you will still be uplifted. Better to be left alone. I would not leave you behind in the dark. The footnote you provide in Paradise, Nevada will serve for those more worthy to follow in magnificent destruction.

Welcome to the Rapture.

__________________________________________________________________________________

[The Now]

I can feel her gaze dipping below mine with every turn of my head towards her, trying to avoid line of sight, only to rise back up and threaten to bore through my skull until the cycle repeats itself again. Wallflower.

“Yes?” I ask.

Cassieopia demurs, muttering something non-committal until it becomes obvious the lighthouse of my vision has stopped its rotation and rests solely on her. The spotlight burns through, after a while. Speak.

“Why still wear it?” She says, eventually. “Now that I know–”

“You do not know me,” I interrupt and the edge in my voice makes her recoil, like a physical cut to the skin of an outstretched hand. Savour it. I wait, letting the psychosomatic pain linger for a while, underlining the point. “You have seen a part of me.”

“In time,” I continue, and she does look back up where before she might have stayed staring at the floorboards, “You might know me. If everything we are working towards comes true.”

Nodding – she does not really understand, not yet – Cassieopia reaches down for a leather binder. The cover is embossed with flowers, intricately stamped and blooming. Childish.

“Your tag-team partner …” She begins. Her words trail off, and I realise she has interpreted the change in my body language, obvious given the stakes. To be expected to rely on a stranger, particularly one who is not part of the grand design, so to speak, so completely to achieve an aim is an unsettling prospect for anyone. Unacceptable. Impressive adaptation. A clear evolution in Miss Mares but not a new skill. She was already a reader of people, to some extent.

With some effort I manage to sit up in the chair, a hand pressed hard against the scar running down my chest to settle pooling fluid underneath my inflamed skin, I nod. Endure it. “Please continue.”

“Bill “Bulldog” Barnhart – the reigning Roulette Champion.”

Looking up from her so-called notes, Cassieopia suddenly closes her folder, apparently finished before she had even begun. The silence stretches on until the context has worked itself out inside her mind and she offers nothing but a shrug. “There wasn’t really a whole lot to go on. He does most of his talking directly to scheduled opponents, isn’t really one for taking off the mask …”

“If you’ll pardon the pun,” She added with something suspiciously approximating a smirk. Take it from her face. This new confidence intrigues me, but now is not the time.

“You have nothing else?”

Cassieopia purses her lips for a moment. “I can tell you he doesn’t like keyless entry security systems and …”

She frowns, trying to pluck some further insight from the ether; not quite important enough to make it onto a summary page one sentence long. “He once roasted a scammer live on-air pretending to be Microsoft Tech Support.”

He is feeling without filter, then. Useful. Impulse arrives almost concurrently with thought, and reaction is far too slow to offer any resistance. A walking example of Newton’s First Law – Inertia in action. In some ways, this is welcome: why must everyone carry a multifaceted story spun around threads of tragedy and hope? Complexity breeds contempt. Deep, existential questions that torture the inner-self and find meaning in everything where there is nothing. Perhaps occasionally, life and those living it are no more complicated than a man shouting angrily into a speakerphone at a Sales Representative from Vivent Home Security.

“The Bulldog is about to experience his own personal Oh Shit moment. Do you know what that is?”

Her head jerks, surprise written across her face, confusion.

“In the words of my unsolicited Tag-Team Partner himself, an Oh Shit moment is that singular point at which you finally receive something you have coveted and lusted for and desired … Only to find it is so much more than you thought. So much more. Something you do not think you can handle. A sinking feeling, a gut-twisting sensation, that you cannot cope with what has come into your possession …” He cannot.

Levering myself up from the chair, I turn away. “I am Mister Barnhart’s Oh Shit Moment. Fortunately for the Principal of his so-called “School of Hard Knocks” – what does that mean, exactly? – I am content to act as a visiting lecturer. He does not need to cope with me; just survive sufficiently long to make Paradise, Nevada exactly that in more than name.”

Cassieopia’s frown deepens until the lines across her forehead cut shallow grooves in the skin. “You already did your research on him. So why ask me?”

I do not answer, making my way with some effort towards the double-set doors leading out from the sitting room. Consider him. Thoughts remain on Bill Barnhart. As Roulette Champion, his ability to stand resolute against endless challengers has been repeatedly demonstrated, speaking volumes for his resilience. Sacrificial protection. To carry a target of any kind is to know the agony of a million superficial wounds, each one adding to the corporate suffering until the back breaks under the accumulated load of years and enemies. Spoken like a Painted Hurricane

He is robust. He will need to be.

“How do you know I won’t tell anyone what I saw?”

The subject change is breakneck, forcing me to stop and look back at her. Very good. Instead of replying, I simply cock my head to the side. Cassie laughs – the first time she has felt comfortable enough to do so. “I don’t know why I asked.”

Faith is a key component of her virtue. A necessary evil. It will be sorely tested in the coming times, with all manner of secrets and shames which she alone must carry. Ultimately, the design we work tirelessly to realise will take it from her and everything else interconnected and interdependent. Poison her. There is no way to separate the belief system from the personality, and so no means to split it from the person. No way to save her from the fate she entered into willingly, if ignorantly. Deliver her to it.

I would not save her if I could. Agreed. Sacrifice is a key requirement although, perhaps in this case and ultimately, suffering will not be particularly good for Cassieopia’s soul. It will still be enjoyable

There is no alternative. Faith is a key component of her virtue. Without it she is nothing. And now, without it, I am nothing.
__________________________________________________________________________________

[The Rapture]

The grandeur and invincibility of a mountain is not solely defined by its absolute physical imposition. Size brings power, but how that power is translated ultimately determines true greatness. Strength. Everest stands almost as a cliché above every competitor in stratospheric reach, where the air itself struggles to maintain molecular cohesion and the slopes are littered with the brightly-coloured windbreaker-corpses of the weak and unprepared. It is a formidable challenge which can – and does – kill those unworthy of it and it has generated an entire mythos bright in the mind’s eye of the thrillseeker and the adventurer. It has become a standard. A metric for adversity and victory.

And yet look a little deeper, and judging the scale of the task by physical imposition alone spins a false narrative.

The people littering her slopes are unlucky, under-equipped or unsuited to the attempt. Her summit, once conquered by great heroes of men, has become the reserve of naïve little girls from Cincinnati, Ohio. Well-worn paths winding up and through the permafrost altitudes are littered with holiday detritus and Human waste. Shit. It is an illusion of grandeur and invincibility – nothing more than a toilet standing nine thousand metres high. A meaningless metric. Fool’s championship gold. A false goddess. 

Absolute physical imposition misleads us. Leaves us obsessing over how high instead of how tough. Instead, we should look at the likelihood of success. How probable is it that a prospective challenger will succeed in scaling the summit? Taking it from the previous incumbent and becoming the standard.
Champion.

Instead, perhaps we should look to a more worthy contender in our metaphorical comparison; The Siren of the Himalayas – K2. Four times more likely to take the lives of its challengers, it is a widowmaker; a summit many attempt and few reach for the pyrrhic prize of a tortured, hypoxic breath or three before scrambling back to save themselves. A Mountaineer's Mountain.
Death.

The metric we choose to apply determines the scale of the task, the grandeur of the potential victory and the invincibility of that summit. How likely are we to survive, to win?

Thoughts naturally turn, then, to what metric to apply to the equivalent and literal peak of the Blast From The Past tournament, Mark Cross. With two victories to his name already, it is much less metaphor and much more reality to say he is the summit against which a dozen teams will dash themselves against black glacial rock and biting winds. Titanic, unyielding.
Brave. He looks down, not up at those scrambling across the face of the tournament; desperately trying to find purchase on taut, swinging lines of multicoloured rope. The tournament hopes of some will die by their own mistakes and omissions, he will kill the rest. 

It is not a question of establishing if you have the credentials or ability to win, Mark. You have, you do. You did – Twice. The question is to establish whether the resultant grandeur of your reputation, the invincibility of your achievement, is set against the correct metric. Are you mighty because you are the graveyard of the best sent against you? Are you the Mountaineer's Mountain?
Deserving. Or are the tales of your physical imposition based on families’ weeping for the death of badly-prepared students on a gap-year adventure gone tragically wrong to Everest?

When the Bulldog and myself come to scale your heights in Paradise, Nevada, will we pass your other challengers dying alone in caves, huddled in thermal blankets surrounded by their own shit and spent oxygen bottles?
Alone. Or will our tournament lives end cold and exposed, on the jagged rocks of a lonely widowmaker attempted by few and scaled by you alone? 

George Bell, a member of the legendary American Expedition of 1953 to K2 once remarked, “It is a Savage Mountain that tries to kill you.”

Are you the savage mountain, Mark? Will we die scaling something truly unbeatable, or are your glories and plaudits based on the meaningless struggles of little children, fools, and competitors named Kat Jones?

Mark, you are a champion of this climb beyond compare.
Untouchable. The summit to be scaled. It is now time to test, empirically, whether your mountain – whether you – deserve that reputation. I am so very much looking forward to finding out. I think you will enjoy teaching me.

Away from the man, the metaphor and his mountain, I wonder, however – how have all your Florida summers prepared you for a return to winter?
Fairweather. Your exploits speak for themselves, and yet it is difficult to think that giant inflatable pink flamingos make effective training partners. Except, perhaps, in being more resilient and robust than your tournament partner, Miss Jones.

I do not think she is ready for this, and I am very sorry for what will happen as a consequence.
Save her.

A great design is in the offing within SCW. A Rapture, something you have not seen from your swimming pool in Orlando made from flowergirls and hurricanes and it is so very close to completion. While you have been impressing the hired help with your NFL-vintage catching skills, a vast clockwork machine of distorted angels and stars, turning on its celestial bearings, ticks inexorably towards zero.
Grotesque.

You have spent too long on top of career mountains and pink flamingos in the Sunshine State, making exclusive visits to metaphorical Ski Resorts at neighbouring peaks to toast and hear sycophantic choirs sing your praises. Down at basecamp amongst the brightly-coloured tents, deep in the shit, however, everything has changed.
Corrupted. You would not recognise SCW now if you saw it from behind your Ray Ban Wayfarers …

… But I promise you will see it at the end of your great tumble from height. When the broken bones heal and the purple bruises turn rainstorm grey, your convalescence boosted by all the White Claw you can drink, I think you will love what I have done with the place. You might be Champion of The Climb, but you remain a Blast From The Past in every conceptual, metaphorical and literal sense; the painting of a mountain in that flaking, gold-gilt frame. You are that enduring present, but it is now time for you to stay where you belong – within easy commuting distance of Disney Resorts.

The future is preparing to write itself, and you are not welcome in it. Unless, of course, you would like to stay and help me in my Rapture. I think you would make such a wonderful addition to my machine.
Resist.

24
Character Building Roleplays / Alpha and Omega
« on: January 23, 2022, 11:47:04 AM »
The organ sang its glory to god, and hymns rolled around high-vaulted ceilings, washing against the faces of stern saints hewn from pink marble. Biblical tapestries, thread-worn and colourful, fluttered on a musical breeze made by clusters of towering, tarnished bronze tubes. Polished pews made from old oak sat in patient rows stretched before an altar, lit by candles and decorated with crosses.

Cassie ran her hand against the wood where she sat, feeling glossy veneer give way to rough grain – the product of innumerable worshippers scuffing the varnish and scouring its finish over years and decades.

Her fingers pressed into the cracked leather of the bible held in her hand, and its golden-trimmed pages flexed. The hymn swelled; the sustained, climaxing chord roared and a high-pitched, tinny rattle reverberated where the organ’s towering pipework trembled and shuddered inside the fixings struggling to hold them to century-aged stone. The bible’s cover began to crease under the pressure, turning convex. Cassie squeezed her eyes shut and tasted metal.

Her tongue pressed against the intricate banding clamped around her teeth, compressing upper and lower jaws together and holding them locked to give the underlying fractures time to heal. A slither of pooling saliva spilled over her lip, splashing down the front of her scarlet blouse before she could catch it with an awkward, pressed palm. Pain radiated out across her bruised face from where her hand flexed the scab, breaking it and splitting her lip again.

Cassie fumbled for a handkerchief from her bag and bunched it up against her wet chin.

The air pushed around by the immense power of the organ had hardly stilled when the enormous machine began again, singing new glories and making everything thrum. Cassie tasted more than one kind of metal as she felt the pew beneath shake. The free hand on her thigh began to tremble independent of any vibration, and she clenched the fist tight.

Churches, hell places of worship in general, were uncomfortable for someone like Amber, as she lingered in the back of the sprawling, cavernous space. A promise made in terms full of loopholes about eternal life, a questionable devotion that had done little more than promote violence between zealots.

Admittedly, the redhead never quite saw the appeal of religion.

There was comfort for some no doubt – otherwise the cathedrals would never have been able to reach for the heavens, and despite proclaiming, never really sought to touch God's hand.

Amber spotted Cassie immediately, something about her genuine aura radiated more prominently than those who came for show and social obligation. She came for solace, instead of placating the gossiping tongues…

She was here cause Amber had fucked up again.

She'd let another flowergirl fall.

She couldn't save them all, sure… But even if she could just have saved one…

Soaring choruses and the faint squeal of musical ambition trying to keep up with intent filled the space, the raucousness of sound almost deafening in the same way silence quickly became thick and overwhelming without something to offset it. Virulent, cacophonic white noise.

Prophetic and profound. Fitting almost, for a hurricane coming to make right in the only way she knew how.

In a crescendo that threatened to shake heavy lead candelabras across thick, rich drapes spanning the altar and send them toppling to the stonework below, the organ rattled everyone and everything. A single, ultimate, sustained note. Some of the parishioners winced, bowing their heads and burying their chins in heavy coats to absorb some of the sonic assault. Cassie kept her eyes fixed on the simple cross suspended on iron chains ahead, tracing the ridges of oxidised metal where corrosion had begun to flake and pit the surface.

Satisfied and glorified, valves inside the enormous cluster of brass tubes cycled shut. The bassy rumble, which cavitated the blood like a pump sucking in air; thrashing and twisting and gulping, shrank to nothing in an instant. Silence reigned.

Cassie gingerly pulled the handkerchief away from her lip, dabbing a fingertip in its place and following a trail of drying blood down her chin, around the nape of her neck and onto her dress. Pulling a thick fur coat up from the pew and bunching it in her arms to keep her lower face covered, she waited until the handful of stragglers ahead had cleared away before making her way out and into one of the bathrooms adjoining the transept.

Setting her coat by the side of the basin, Cassie glanced at the splashes of dark across the bright red of her dress, grimacing as best the wiring clamped about her face would allow. Turning in the light, she picked out strips of mottled flesh to either side of her cracked lips that made a rictus, bruised, purple grin. Rummaging in amongst the folds of her coat, Cassie snapped the lid free from an orange plastic tub, tipped a handful of pills into her trembling hand and made short work of downing them.

With an audible groan of pain, she got as close to the running tap as she could and lapped at the water; unable to widen her lips enough to get anything more than a trickle.

At a distance didn't seem far enough to stay out of the blast radius of guilt. Consequences coming to fruition and playing out before her, usually she'd be the one having to deal with the fallout … Grin and bear it, cause she'd wrought it upon herself.

However seeing someone else deal with her poor decision making – it only seemed to solidify her thoughts on what had to be done. How many ways goodbye and good luck could take the form of almost nothing at all.

Amber had said from day one that Cassie would be better off without her influence, however she never really expected to have the visual representation of such things laid so bare for her in a house of worship.

Amber swallowed hard, although whether it was the osmotic backwash of religion – or the bile fuelled by regret and determination to do anything else but set another person's world alight – was yet to be seen. Gently, she leaned in the doorway. Unable to find words that were anything less than insignificant and morose. A mere fragment of what she wanted to express without the sincerity to deliver it.

What she would never do though, musing silently as the flickers of a half smile curled at the edge of Amber's lip, was apologize.

That alone would be the greatest insult of all.

“ Are you …” Cassie rasped, the words a little slurred by the prison scaffolding inside her mouth. “Are you …”

She leaned over the sink, immaculately painted fingernails curling in tight against shining porcelain. Looking up at her own reflection, watching a string of drool spill free and make a rope joining the drain with her chin, she cut it free with a flicker of her tongue and tried again. 

“Are you … Going to say something?”

Casie listened to the silence and her answer, turning the tap off and watching the saliva circle in the draining water. It made a frothy, pink ribbon; striped in washed-out blood.

“I don’t remember it,” She said eventually. “The docks …” Her hand strayed up to caress the staples holding the wound in her scalp closed, courtesy of a hard right that’d knocked her senseless and down to the rain-slicked concrete. “Comes in waves, like flashes …”

Her eyes squeezed shut. She shuddered, biceps trembling with the effort of holding even her slight frame up over the sink. For a while – a few seconds – Cassie was somewhere else. Some composite of a waking dreamscape, equal parts half-remembered and fantastical; jarring pseudo-memories made of painful colours and mad shapes, where her concussed mind simply opened wide and poured gibberish in to fill the blurred gaps.

She tilted her chin up, eyes slowly fluttering open again. “Do you remember the cat?”

Cassie nodded at her own reflection, taking comfort from its dumb agreement. “Yes, I remember the cat. It was grey …”

Her fist clenched, slamming down against the basin. She leaned into the mirror, scrutinising it. Searching her own face. “No!” She snapped, tapping a red fingernail on the glass. “It wasn’t grey. Brown? Black?”

She nodded again, and her reflection concurred. “Black. The cat was black …”

“You gave me the phone, told me to go. I did. I found Mac, then, I … I …”

A frost-white mask, marred with a radial crack reaching out to eight irregular points leered over, cut out around bright blue eyes that saw right through her.

Cassie shook her head and grimaced, holding the stapled line of scar tissue hidden by carefully combed blonde hair. “She didn’t have a face …”

The downpour pooled in her eyes, making it hard to see. The other woman stooped down and wiped the rainwater, tears and blood away with a latex glove. It felt warm against the chill of the concrete underneath. “Are you ready for the Rapture?” She asked. “Suffering is so very good for the soul …”

Interrogating the face staring back, Cassie pursed her cracked lips. “Did she? Did that happen? Or …”

Straightening up, Cassie turned on her heels – pointed and glossy red and inappropriate for someone convalescing – towards Amber. Remember what she told you in the rain. Fumbling with the buttons, Cassie shrugged off her cardigan and let it swing down to graze the tiles, still hanging on by a single sleeve turned inside out around her wrist. Tell the story of your life made a mosaic on your skin …

The glove on her neck had been so warm. So gentle. She turned side-on, presenting Amber with the twisted mass of scar tissue running up her arm and out across her shoulder, cutting a dimpled crescent moon snug tight against the nape of her neck. “You’ve seen this before.”

Cassie turned back towards the mirror, looking for reassurance from her reflection. It nodded. She nodded. Duality in thought and feeling. The Weapon and its Sacrifice. The Alpha and Omega. “At the bar, what were you drinking? It tasted …” She trailed off. Lost for a second. “Revolting. Yes, that’s right. It was awful.”

She tried to smile, but her eyes didn’t follow the gesture and the wire locking kept it compressed tight and pulled out at the edges. Cassie looked down on ridged, twisted skin spread across her shoulder and then back at Amber. “What made these made my faith. Made me a better person.”

She tried to lift a hand up towards her face but the awkward weight of the cardigan hanging against her wrist made her stop halfway. Ignoring the pain lancing through everything, she jerked and whipped her hand until the cardigan dropped to the floor. It hurt so much. Rapturous.

“This …” She rasped, and saliva spilled over her lip, tracking down her chin until it was collected by an obscene ledge made by the scar tissue arcing up from her neck. Cassie gingerly ran a hand carefully along the blotched purple skin, following a smeared smile running almost up to her ear. Suffering is good for the soul. “This …”

“You gave me this,” She said, cradling her jaw. “You made these. Remade my faith.” Made it resplendent.

Cassie took a deep breath. “I’m ready, Miss Ryan. Ready to follow a …”

“Painted?” She glanced back at the mirror. “No …”

“Resplendent?”

A nod. “Yes … I’m ready to follow a Resplendent Hurricane.”

Her fingers closed around the misshapen crucifix hung about her patchwork neck. “He works in mysterious ways – through you.” She works in mysterious ways.

Radiating a level of feigned apathy not experienced since the universe watched man force his way through the stratosphere for the first time, Amber dipped her head with a crooked smile.

"You have a far better memory than I do." Shaking her head in a subtle disbelief, Amber straightened up just enough to impose in such a way that she commanded the small space.
It might have been one of the few things she still had left to control these days. "Still, you tend to put a lot of faith into a lot of things that give you so little in return. I mean I don't wanna stand here and pretend like I don't feel bad considering…"

To say that Amber was 'conditioned' for such things perhaps was a gross understatement and a psychological red flag waved freely. Proudly perhaps. A lifetime of physical abuse created emotional and mental calluses that didn't wear away, the collection of concussions and contusions like a disoriented rainbow of medical horrors.

Still, it was different to the angry masses of scarring that seems to tendril and transverse the otherwise porcelain and pure. Different if only for the fact that Amber continually went back looking for more … An addict looking for their next fix, absolutely sure that this one would be the one to send them tumbling into a self-induced abyss.

"... I dunno. Seems really fucking stupid actually, thinking I could come here and say all the things I wanted to." A weighty pause, the faint drip of a faucet distinctly overt for its lack of influence. A cadence to a conversation that had veered wildly from it's proposed destination. "... Then you look at me like I've done you a favour."

Cassie wasn't the first to invest in the void that Amber had created, persecution via proximity. A void that had been labelled as do not enter and taken as a challenge, never realizing it wasn't about what was inside … But keeping it there. Keeping it from spreading … Growing… That physical manifestation of crippling spite and  self-perpetuating cycles of violence.

"Resplendence is the reason I was here, it's not why I sought this … Although that reason sure feels a lot more rational than what I had in mind." Like poorly arranged papers on the deck of a stormcloud, the plans had gone out the window around the time Cassie started her evangelical pursuit of ultimate suffering and in turn … Paradise. "I don't know what you think you see … You saw … I can't make you not believe. I won't try to tear your faith from your hands, cause that's not my place. What I can do though … Is sever the ties that bind, allow your new-found freedom to exist beyond the cryptids deception we've created.”

"Whatever it is that you think you see in me, Ms Mares … I can only assure you only a debilitating misery lies at the end. A light at the end of the tunnel only shines so bright until everyone tries to recreate the magic.”

“No, fuck the magic… Fuck the idea of miracles and rapture, Cassie. Trying to bend the whims of the universe into just the right paper plane, it's not a game for us and it's sure as fuck no place for you to proclaim your willingness with mutually assured sacrifice."

A small pause overtook them both before Amber reigned in the pretense she'd silently proclaimed.

"I told you this when we first met … Hurricanes, regardless of their regality and resplendence, don't get to choose which houses get flattened … They don't get the option of feeling any way about whatever pieces can be cobbled in their wake.”

“I'm not something to be aspired to … I'm a storm approaching the end of its tether to being, just another terrible thing masquerading as the facsimile of something better than what I deserve."

Amber shook her head, taking a step towards the smaller woman, although whether reassuring or assertive was left to the imagination.

"I never asked you to follow, but now I wish I had never left the impression of it being an option …"

Cassie held her ground as Amber stepped forward, despite the obvious power imbalance inherent in someone – evident by the bruising on their face – who had just established her lack of physical credentials and was now up against a born fighter.

“I’m not a puppet!” She snapped, aggression seeping into the syllables and giving everything an edge that didn’t belong to the young woman. Or hadn’t, at least, before Atlantic City had taught her such a painful lesson.

Fists bunched, she seethed. “You’re talking to me like I’m a fucking idiot! You’re all taking at me! She’s the only one who listens! I just want … I want to … You … to …”

The bathroom began to spin, and Cassie tried to move her feet to keep up with it and so she spun too. She caught a glance at her reflection as it smeared in the mirror, stretching into bands of colour that blurred together. The desaturation spread, taking definition from the tilework, the walls–

It wasn’t the room. It was her.

Cassie stumbled forward into Amber in mid-pirouette, who caught her effortlessly without so much as a step back to counterbalance.

“She told me you can’t …” Cassie wheezed, struggling. “ … You can’t do this on your own. You need me – I need you. Miracles don’t have to be one-way. This isn’t about bending everything to fit …

A fresh trickle of red seeped from her nose, and she pressed the hilt of her palm up roughly against it. “This is about accepting our place in his design. Your agency, his work …”

Blinking away stars, Cassie forced herself to find Amber’s gaze. “I know how important it is to you,” She said, the great championship millstone-around-the-neck conspicuous by inference. “It’s everything you are. Without it …”

She let the implication hang for a second. “I think she can help you. I think I can help you …”   

Thoughtfully, Amber placed her hands at the edges of Cassie's shoulders, steadying the smaller frame as best she could under the circumstances, trying to deflect from that same desperation she'd seen in the mirror before.

"And what if you're wrong … What if we're both wrong. I can't just stand by and have another flower girl on my conscience cause I blindly followed the lead of someone who has had everything but my best interests at heart before!" Amber didn't mean to raise her voice in the confined space, quickly pulling back her tone into something more restrained.

"Listen if your heart commands it, follow if that's what you truly desire… just, just don't put your faith into a suicide booth cause it's masquerading as a confessional."

Amber gripped a little tighter, perhaps hoping that the jolt of something real might penetrate the haze.

"Cassie … the only thing I've ever fought harder for than this big gold anchor wrapped around my throat were the lives of those that she threatened and succeeded in taking … Help isn't always salvation and an outstretched hand could just as easily hold you under as pull you from the ocean's grip." Amber leaned down to eye level, in hopes that there was something still worth salvaging, something that didn't look like the worst of her own reflection.

"If you're going to do this … follow till the ground beneath your feet turns to brimstone and the flames of purgatory fill your lungs, you need to promise me something. No question, just loyalty."

Appealing to her sense of devotion, Amber subtly nodded in hopes that body language and a display of open mindedness might persuade; would reign in a spiraling conversation.

“You’re not in control of this …” Cassie slurred, dropping down to one knee. Her head felt heavy, and she struggled to keep her chin from dipping towards the tiled floor. “None of us are, we’re just pieces on …”

She fell the rest of the way, splaying her hands out on the cold ceramic. “ … On a board.”

Her shoulders shuddered, and Cassie took long rattling breaths. “Different pieces. Different roles. Like a White Knight …”

“ … Or a Pawn,” Cassie continued, pressing a hand against her own chest to underline the role she felt she was here to play. Then she looked up at Amber. “ … Or a Queen.”

Her forehead creased and awkwardly, she sat back staring up at the other woman – the fabric of her dress spilling out in a lopsided petal of red hues. “I’m the second flower girl?” She asked, abruptly shifting the topic of a conversation already struggling to stay coherent.

"Now, stay with me here Cassie." Amber followed her all the way towards the floor, trying to create reassurance when there was only uncertainty. "This isn't about who's in control … you want to play your role, you want to follow the leader … Promise me that if this all goes to shit though, if this isn't everything you'd dreamt it would be … What you were told it would be …"

Swallowing hard, trying to maintain a level in her voice that didn't alarm beyond the already spiking adrenaline levels between them.

"You get out. You run and you never speak a word of any of this – promise me that and I'll tell you everything you think you want to know. Flower girls, after all, are a rare breed in a concrete utopia."

Cassie struggled under Amber’s gaze, shrinking back slightly but when she made to look away, something she co̴u̴l̴d̵n’t qu̶it̴e̴ pla̵c̵e kept her eyes locked. Gave her strength when she felt so weak, tired …

“I promise,” She said, eventually. The room stopped spinning. Gathering the fabric of her dress, Cassie unsteadily got back onto her knees. Amber allowed herself the pent up sigh that had burned in her lungs, acquiescing to the question as tactfully as one could possibly manage.

"Not so difficult …" More of a rhetoric, Amber cleared her throat thoughtfully. "There was another flowergirl before … Tended an abandoned garden in a place where nothing would choose to grow – as much dirt on her patterned dress as there was under her fingernails. Running from an existence that didn't belong to her, for reasons she didn't want to understand."

Amber rummaged around at the inside of her jacket, a small pocket otherwise invisible from the outside. From between her fingers, as her hand emerged, a fragile silver chain swung along its length.

Taking Cassie's hand with her free one, Amber placed the chain into Cassie's open palm. A pendant at the centre, the remains of what was once a tiny angel – her face worn away by trembling fingertips searching for salvation and a wing snapped almost carelessly from her back.

"Never did get to learn why this meant so much to her. Sentimentality will get us all killed, no doubt. It's a reminder though; of what has been and what will come. How unexpectedly it all ends ..."

Cassie felt the slight weight to it and with a single finger, pushed it around her cradling palm. The silver was tarnished, dulled to white and the metal dimpled by relentless, incessant abrasion.

“Are not all angels ministering spirits …” She began to mumble, the verse tumbling from her lips. “ … Sent to serve those who will inherit salvation …”

She looked up. “Did you kill her?”

Amber forced a half smile across her lips, unsure if it was sincere or unsettling. "Would you believe me if I said I didn't?" With an almost sheepishness unheard of from the redhead, she shrugged vaguely. "Nothing was ever proven but there was an admission in hindsight… one that brings us to the very conversation we're having now. You aren't her first flower girl, but I hope that you'll be the last … The one that got away perhaps. Lord knows I don't think I could sleep a wink if I let anyone else down at the moment."

Levity had no place here, yet it emerged unwelcome and unhinged. A chuckle in the face of the ultimately macabre and tragic. "Only thing worse than dying alone … Is knowing someone else did ‘cause of you."

“You’re talking about …” Cassie trailed off, and the fingers of her open palm closed around the little angel, squeezing tight. “ … Her.”

She looked about herself, then scowled. Annoyed. She wasn’t some spectre from beyond the veil. Whatever this mysterious woman was, she was most certainly mortal. Wounded. Cassie had seen it when she felt the hard plastic of that prosthetic. “Masque.”

Even the name made her pause again, for a second. “You’ve met her before, when–”

She stopped, blinking in a silence punctuated by running water gargling softly in pipework above her head. Absurdly, it dawned on her in the third rapid-fire conclusion of as many moments. “Her name was Cassie too?”

"Cassiopeia." Small differentiation that meant everything. "Another flower girl named after the stars."

Amber trailed off quietly, the distinctive nature of names … The connections leading back to a masked women with a porcelain face. Deja vu in a sense, Jamais vu in a worse one.

"It's too similar, Cassie, way too close to home that I can't just ignore the feeling in my gut. Whatever promises she made to you  … I can only imagine have been spoken one before, well practiced on deaf ears."

Pushing back to her feet, Amber paced a few steps in the narrow walkway.

"Maybe I'm wrong … Maybe I'm the problem and I'm manifesting my failures on someone new. Maybe this is all gonna be sunshine and rainbows at the end and for once … For fucking once … Someone actually has better intentions than me."

The smooth silver digs into her closed fist. “I remember her, at the dockyards …”

Cassie squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds. “I don’t think I would’ve gotten up if she hadn’t been there to …”

Words trail off, with no need to finish the obvious. “But …”

“ … She’s broken. I’ve seen her up close and felt – touched – her imperfections. She’s no better or worse than you. What she’s got is a purpose, like we all do. Sounds like she started out on that purpose a long time ago, with you and Cassieopia.”

Hearing her own name in some strange, third-person perspective reference drove the latest, jarring splinter deep into an already intense cognitive dissonance made worse by mental fog and medication. “How long has it been since you first met? Years? You must know something about her motivations.”   

Amber paused, contemplating the passage of time. As if such a thing made sense in a church bathroom.

"Shit, I dunno… Five years maybe? Six if I squint and hold my tongue in just the right way perhaps… God, it was all in passing. Connected through other people's threads. We were wisps of smoke trying to clutch onto sand passing through broken fingers."

A different time, a different place. When did everything get so hazy?

"Everything I know is hearsay, is conjecture and words from the mouth of the only person I shouldn't have listened to. Feel like I'm chasing shadows … Or they are chasing me."

Chewing the inside of her lip, Cassie frowns. “I understand my place in all this, I think, but I don’t really understand why you’re letting any of this happen.”

She opens her palm, tracing the silhouette of red skin where the metalwork salvation made an imprint. “You’re the strongest person I think I know – maybe that I’ve ever met. Everything you say about her, I just don’t … Why do you even let her look at you unchallenged?

“Amber Ryan doesn’t suffer fools, or angels, or determined corporate talent managers easily. Why let Masque darken your door at all if you don’t believe in the message or anything about her?”

Rolling her tongue through her cheek, Amber stopped her pacing long enough for the dim light to cast its shadows across her face. Of course, the answer was simple as it always had been … But it was one she'd never been able to bring herself to admit.

"Why indeed… Why do people believe in a God that would allow their people to suffer inhumanely in spite of their devotion. Why does Mother Nature allow us to persist when all we do is destroy everything we've been graced with. Why does the sun rise and the moon fall, why do we commit ourselves to unspoken frameworks of time and space?"

Dropping her head with a distant smile, the small shake of her head dislodged a last part of the thought from the back of her throat.

"... Cause there's this little part of me that wants to be proven wrong. That wants to believe that everything happens for a reason, except I don't want it to be at anyone else's expense. Not anymore. It's not about belief cause Masque knows precisely where I stand, however I can't walk away from the uncertainty … I have to know, I just refuse to let anyone else's blood pay my way."

Locking eyes with Cassie, a small glint of humanity peeked from behind the iron curtain of her eyes.

"Humanity has an innate desire to see their rock bottom – but only a few have the means and willpower to actually get there."

Cassie nodded, awkwardly climbing up to stand. “You think you know where this path is going to take you, but … You still want to see whether you were right in the end. So you’re going to walk it–”

She catches herself. “We’re going to walk it.”

Waving the angel on the end of its clinking chain to cut off the inevitable response, Cassie continued. “You don’t trust Masque, or me. But that’s okay. I don’t need you to trust me, because that’s not your part of all this. It’s mine. I’ll do the trusting. In you, in his plan, in where that path ends up taking us when we finally get to lay down our burdens at the end …

Taking a deep breath, the tension in her face melts away, making violet-coloured bruises shrink a little on either side of her sore mouth.

“I will follow you Miss Ryan,” She says and drapes the angel over her neck, setting it centred. Smoothing the ruffled fabric of her dress, Cassie nods. “I will follow you and we will see if you were right when it all comes to an end.”

Subconsciously, she gently runs a hand over old scars twisting her shoulder up. “Suffering is good for the soul.”

25
Character Building Roleplays / The Rapture.
« on: December 27, 2021, 10:00:48 AM »
Tired.

That's the only word that could have described the World Bombshells Champion, Amber Ryan, as she staggered slightly whilst making her way through the backstage area. Title clasped firmly in her arms, as though it could be torn from her grasp at any moment and take anything of value from her chest with it.

A sheen of sweat covered her skin as ragged breaths rattled her bones, but she was still upright and still champion. That was what really mattered now, although she couldn't quite swallow the indignation in the back of her tongue, that dissatisfaction painted across her features that sent backstage techs scurrying for their lives. In truth she had no qualms with them and their stares, the way they regarded her with equal awe and uncertainty.

It was becoming more and more apparent that the World Champion might be losing her grip a little. Ten successful defenses was something to be celebrated and admired, but it took its toll physically and emotionally. Amber would never speak of the sleepless nights before defenses, her brain rattling through every worst case scenario that saw her walking away without the title she'd worked so hard to keep. All the ways she might lose everything in a split second …

It was enough to send anyone mad.

She wasn't though, reconfirmed with a small shake of the head as she stepped up to her locker room door. She wasn't mad… just tired.

… And just a little pissed off.

Even now, despite still holding the belt, Amber swallowed hard in recollection of Masque and her disrespectful insertions into her business. Veiled threat after veiled threat after… No, she'd buried that demon back in Atlantic City - so why was it now doing a fucking jig on her doorstep drawing irritated glares from the neighbours?

… And to show up at the end of the match. God, what if it had cost her the–

No, that couldn't be dwelled on. Sighing aggravatedly, Amber wearily pushed the door inwards towards sanctuary and solitude. Away from prying eyes. Away from distraction. Away from expectation. She knew Mac would be out there trying to reclaim his title by now, so that gave her just enough time to take a deep breath and–

A forearm snaked around Amber’s neck and pulled tight, lifting her off her feet even as soles screeched against wooden floorboards, tracing jerking patterns for desperate, instinctual purchase. Something lithe and bony pressed against the back of the Bombshell’s skull, forcing her head forwards as her larynx was compressed back tight; making agonising differential pressure. The Championship title spun away from arcing, grasping fingers,  and clattered to the ground. More weight tilted back, forcing Amber’s spine in a painful curve. She looked up and struggled to tell the difference between lights made by incandescent heat and lights made by oxygen deprivation. Both of them spun.

Suddenly, the pressure released and she felt herself thrown forward. Fingers splayed out against the brickwork opposite to stop a jarring collision, chest rattling with the sweet, sharp intake of unrestricted breath but a strong hand clamped around the base of Amber’s neck drove her headfirst in.

She fell back and down, skull rebounding painfully - again - on the worn wooden floor. Amber tasted hot iron.

The sharp metal rim of her title belt, angled just right to eliminate the protection of the leather backing, pressed in deep underneath her chin. A knee pinned her left hand down and every time her right swung up to punch something, the Championship bit down harder on her throat.

A crimson mask with a face drawn from darker, washed-out shadows looked down. “Congratulations on your victory tonight …”

Rasping, putting up the best facade of nonchalance that could be mustered under the circumstances as a dribble of something warm traced around her left eye, Amber forced a smirk that she didn't believe in.

"You know what would have made it better?" A hypothetical posed as something genuine, a pause that left no time for an answer that wasn't coming. "You not being there … Turns out we all don't quite get what we want."

Shifting her weight, Amber wriggled for the chance at an extra breath and a moment to regroup.

"So how about you do me a favour and fuck off… Before I put you through the floor." A threat made from an underneath position carried little weight, even being spat from a woman more than capable of making it happen. "I might even get them to mark the spot of your final breath when I'm done, you know for memorium and giggles…"

Another wriggle, another extra breath and another chance to turn the tide against an opponent who'd taken victory potentially for granted.

Masque leaned in and with it, gold-plated metal cut further into taut skin. “You are unique, which makes you precious …”

The palm of her free hand swept tangled hair out from Amber’s eyes, lingering on her temple. Loving, and made all the more shuddering for it. “ … Valuable, maybe. But everything tarnishes, becomes lesser. Devolves. And look at you, my Painted Hurricane. Look at you now …”

Suddenly, the palm pressed down. Hard. Compressing flesh and bone; driving her skull into the floor, holding her head steady while the title belt began to cut upwards.

“Faded,” Masque spat, her tone shifting brutally from inquisitive, almost wistful to serrated and barking. “Like artwork left to spoil in the wind and rain. A parody of everything you once were …”

Despite her best efforts, the squeak in her voice as the compression took its toll echoed loudly between them. Amber tried to adjust her breathing for the change in oxygen levels, only finding herself a little more lightheaded as the belt’s edge seemed to pinch further into her skin, threatening to leave her asunder at the mercy of her greatest achievement.

"I think you…" A sputter followed as the words trailed off. "I think you need your eyes checked. Whatever you're wearing on your face has seeped into your skin, lead poisoning if I should be so fucking lucky."

Another rasp as Amber laced her free fingers at the edge of the belt before it might sink any deeper through her. A vain attempt to mitigate further harm perhaps, a show of small defiance otherwise.

"I'm more successful than you ever were. I'm at the fucking pinnacle of this place, whereas the only reason anyone knows you exist is because of me… by all means try to kick the shit out of me all you want, but I make you real. Not the other way around..." Allowing her eyes to roll back slightly to relieve the lightheadedness, Amber's words were briefly punctuated by a small albeit forced laugh.

"... And nothing you say or do here changes that."

Abruptly, Masque pulled the title away and turned it back to face its owner. Red gleamed around its bottom edge. She cocked her head to the side. “Do you really believe that?”

“I can count the bruises,” She said, bright blue eyes taking Amber in. Her free hand reached out, and a thumb ran against the dark smears underneath the Champion’s eyes before she jerked away from the touch. “You’re worn out, spread so thin. Did you think tonight would be it?”

Masque tilted the title belt alongside her so-called face, so Amber could catch her reflection in the shining faceplate. “Did you think tonight would be the end of your reign?”

Amber didn't answer, the stare remaining dead as the silence lingered. In truth, Amber didn't know. She'd been moments from losing it all at every single defense. There had never been a guarantee, never a moment to breathe from bell to bell. Tonight was another near miss, not a shot on target for champion - another scrape by on the road to eventual heartbreak.

Everything had to end, but she wasn't nearly ready to give it up quite yet. Damn the records, damn the achievements and awards… she'd worked too fucking hard, for too fucking long to let it slip between her fingers because of a mistake… Because of something woefully avoidable.

Even now, with the faceplate so achingly close to being taken from her - and threatening to take everything she'd invested with it - she couldn't muster an argument against the obvious.
Masque was right. To hell with saying it though… Amber would have rather died on the spot.

Her voice dropped to a whisper, dripping with the kind of pride reserved for a parent towards their child. It sounded like velvet but felt like oil. “That’s okay,” Masque cooed. “You’ve already said it ..”

For several seconds, stretching out to make a minute, she stared at the World Championship, her mask cast in some odd golden light by its own reflection.

“What a powerful thing …” She mused. “I can see the appeal.”

Folding the straps, Masque placed the title down on the floor, next to Amber’s head. “ … But now is not the time for that. I am not here to take this from you …”

“I am here to make you mighty beyond any conceivable measure. You are caked in corrosion, a weapon of war made blunt by peace, but …”

Masque ran a gloved finger down to cup Amber’s chin. “I will sharpen you such that you will cut heaven and bleed the divine. They will beg you to stop and you will not even hear them, because goddesses do not concern themselves with how the grass feels underneath a hot sun.

Her hand drifted down until two fingers pressed lightly against Amber’s sternum. “The engine rumbles to life again, but it will run so much more sweetly with stronger, purer fuel …”

Amber turns to find her reflection in the metal’s glow, the woman staring back almost hollow. A diamond formed under pressure but continued to be pressed until crumbled to powder… a dust on the wind to be remembered fondly for what she was before she broke down into nothing.

How long could she possibly continue this way, defense after defense. Match after match where the cracks were showing, the indomitable facade crumbling at its very foundation, because the inevitable chipping away had actually left her riddled with holes.

God, she was tired…

… But being the world champion meant far more than the toll this exhaustion was taking.

Amber's gaze slowly traced back to the brilliant blue peering through the porcelain edges. A state between forces of nature that seemed to last beyond the edge of the world, beyond the lives to be sacrificed for something more.

"Fuel, huh… I suppose the next thing you'll tell me is that you're doing me a favour for nothing."

“Oh, my Painted Hurricane, no,” Masque said as she climbed to her feet, picking up the World Championship and unbuckled its straps. She reached down a free hand, offering it to Amber.

“ … It will cost you everything, eventually.”

With only a moment of hesitation as her hand touched against where the metal had cut in against her neck, coming off with the faint glisten of red, Amber used the same hand to grasp Masque's with an oddly serene smile.

"Now, that sounds like the kind of deal I'm used to making…"

Cocking her head to the side, Masque nodded as she draped the title belt over Amber’s shoulder, wiping away the last vestiges staining the inside rim with a fingertip. “We are all in service to something greater.”

“They …” She motioned with a jerk of her head beyond the locker room door, “Are in service to you. They will be the fuel that powers your reign. Charnel, mass. Meat. You will stack them high and on their broken challenges make a summit on which only the Sun will have the right to look down upon you. And it will look down in fear of when you will come for it.”

The pitch of her voice climbed an octave. Sing-song. “They will come to challenge, and then they will fear and they will stop. Then you will come for them, and write a legacy in their thrashing misery, blessing them with the privilege of being another body broken on the way to building something …”

Masque took a loud lungful of air. “ … Beautiful.”

She traced a fingertip down the title faceplate, leaving a red smear. “Welcome to the Rapture, my Renewed Hurricane.”

26
Character Building Roleplays / Something Wicked This Way Comes ...
« on: November 11, 2021, 04:49:40 PM »
It was difficult to imagine that this place had once been anything but a shitty dive bar.

Years before, although Amber had long since lost count of them, it had been a fine little Italian eatery. Outside then, the paint had been as fresh and vibrant as the delicacies on offer and the wine as delightfully crisp as the salty night air that used to drift through open windows.

She'd been here once when it was still that place, with an old-- well, in truth neither of them at that time probably knew what they were.

Only, maybe, that both of them were chasing intercepting shadows and had gotten caught in each other’s crossfire. Professionals in the most unprofessional sense. As close to lovers as one might become never having shared a moment or a kiss. The last night they'd been here, they left a bottle of wine unopened on the table, and even now she wondered what could have happened if anything at all about that time had been different.

Now though, the place has fallen into disrepair. Murky saltwater had eaten at the metal while creeping rust at the water's edge spread upwards as though grasping to escape the murky depths. Paint had been heavily chipped and faded, leaving what remained to be tagged with intentions of recognition and recompense alike.

No longer did the crisp night air rise up to meet her, instead the thick fumes of diesel mixed with something briny and slick. Around the place the signs clearly said 'no smoking' however now they'd resorted to just leaving ashtrays on the tables so people would stop stubbing them out on the bar.

As alone as she might manage at a table of her own, Amber stared down the newest in a long line of drinks that she'd hoped would make her feel better - or at the very least, feel less.

See, getting drunk was easy cause it required nothing more than acceptance. There was no responsibility. No expectations: she could sit here and pretend like she was no-one, had nothing and could simply allow herself to succumb to blissful numbness.

It wasn't her first choice by any means, but she'd ended up running out of places after being somewhat relentlessly pursued by a certain Talent Relations representative who had too many good intentions and not enough sense to simply let misery and recent heartaches take their course.

No, Amber had lost Cassiopeia Mares somewhere in the last couple blocks before the docks.

Perhaps that was a small benefit to having stayed in Atlantic City for longer than necessary, the ability to disappear on a whim… Ah fuck.

“I sometimes think you don’t respect me,” Cassie began as she settled into the chair opposite, jerking up to smooth the fabric of her crisp, white dress. The warped wood underneath groaned. “Maybe because I don’t hurt people for a living, you think I don’t have any kind of edge, subtlety? Empty in the brainbox department? Not sure, but either way, it wasn’t hard to work out where you might be going based on what I know about you and this particularly unpleasant part of the city …”

She looked around, nostrils flaring in distaste. “This place used to be a fancy-dan. Porcelain plates and bowties and fifty dollars for five dollars’ worth of shrimp …”

“That’s why it failed, I think,” Cassie nodded to herself. “Just another pretender in a city full of them.”

“This?” She gestured with painted fingernails, “This is authentic. Real. The people here aren’t trying to craft an image or be something they’re not. All true to their roots …”

Cassie fixed Amber dead in the eyes. “ … Doing what they always do, every single time.”

Amber, whether to her credit or not, leaned back into her chair with hands clasping at the nape of her neck while allowing the knowing-albeit-distant smile to cross her otherwise impassive features. It wasn’t as though the redhead wasn’t prepared to give credit where credit was due for tenaciousness and ability to put two and two together while not making 22, however she just wasn’t exactly in the proper headspace to be stuck in the continuous debate loop of corporate ethics and practicality of heels in a dive bar.

“Believe me, Ms Mares…” Amber lolled gently, rolling her tongue against her cheek thoughtfully. “If I were going to consider you any of those things, I’d have just said it rather than lead you on a wild goose chase. There aren’t enough hours in a day to waste playing pointless games and pretending to like things that I don’t. What I would like to know, though …”

Amber leaned forward, bringing her hands down to the table before steepling her fingers, closing the distance to an almost uncomfortable distance with only a worn, cigarette-stoned tabletop to keep them apart.

“Is what you think you want from me… If you’re so sure of what you know, why do you keep coming looking for answers to questions that haven’t been asked? I’m about as open a book as you’ll find in this fucking industry - yet you prefer riddles and double speak to simply asking a question, then wonder about a potential a lack of ‘professionalism’…”

Amber stared through Cassie in the same way she might through any other opponent squaring up. Not as a tactic to intimidate, but to watch for a flicker of dishonesty or anything that might confirm the nagging suspicions she couldn’t quite pinpoint. Not that her smile ever changed, almost lazy at the edges as her lip twitched revealing a glint of teeth. Quietly savage by instinct.

“Just ‘cause the words in the job title, it doesn't make me a good person.”

Cassie looked up at the tube lights hanging overhead, wrapped in sickly yellow light and caked in grease. She watched them swing gently in the recirculated air of the bar for a few seconds. The cracks arcing out from the bolts holding them in place at either end flexed and twisted.

“You’re a bit strange, Miss Ryan,” She said finally. “You’re defined by your job - or maybe your job is defined by you but fundamentally, both of them are the same thing. One made the other, it doesn’t matter so much in what order. Same qualities, same strengths, same weaknesses. It’s all interlinked together. You fight - you’re a fighter - and you get paid to fight. Pretty simple.”

As she brought an arm up from her lap to rest on the table, a sharp split in the wood grabbed the edge of the bright white material tight, pulling the whole sleeve up to the crook of her elbow. For just a second, before Cassie could pull it back down, tendrils of twisted and hardened scar tissue glinted in the gloom, shiny and faded-red. Bunching and twisting the smooth, pale skin into ugly swirls and streaks.

Cassie smoothed the material back into place but didn’t break her train of thought. “I guess that’s made you apply the same logic to other people, and I understand that. It makes sense. Do what you’re good at; like you. The key difference here is that I’m not defined by my job.”

“I like to think I’m an excellent talent relations manager,” She nodded. “Maybe one of the best, if my performance reviews are anything to go by, but that’s it. That’s where the comparison ends. I’m paid to get the best out of our people; whether that means helping them personally or professionally. I keep schedules, make little problems go away and mitigate bigger ones but I’m not some Machiavellian schemer or puppet-master. I don’t sit at home in my trendy one-bedroom apartment on the west city-side trying to work out how to make Amber Ryan do my bidding.”

“All of this,” She gestures, circling a finger around her painted face, “Is to get you to photoshoots on-time and stop you appearing in small claims court. That’s it. All of this …”

Her finger widens its circle to encompass the bar and then ends its gyration pointing directly at Amber. “ … Is because despite your very best, most strenuous efforts, you can’t stop people from helping other people for no reason other than they’re moved in their heart to do so. Good Samaritan, maybe. It’s what decent people should do.”

Straightening up and perhaps compelled by the outpouring of goodness, Amber unlaces her fingers and takes up her glass - examining the water marks and faint streaks around the edge, while trying to ignore the residue of a lipstick stain she was sure wasn’t hers. Maybe it was the booze or maybe the flutter of butterflies still writhing as they die in the pit of her stomach from the very familiar glimpse of mottled skin, but Amber remained silent for what felt like the longest while before downing the contents in one foul swoop.

“As delightful as you made all that sound, at the end of the day you’re paid to coerce and control… Not to care. Yet here you are, a couch and a notepad short of being an underpaid therapist to the sociopaths and sycophants.”

“I won’t pretend like there aren’t good people who do their good deeds for the warm and fuzzies they get from it - however you also managed to dance around my question. It's still not a reason outside of basic monetary, outside a need to keep face in an industry that depends on smiling just the right way to sell a few extra t-shirts.”

It was Amber’s turn to gesture, except hers was a little more wayward and expressive than she had intended.

“I have given you no reason to keep following, no reason to believe in anything more than what you are paid to; Good Samaritans have their limits, and still you insist on getting under my skin. By all means go digging around in my psyche - I’ll be glad to open that door, but I promise that there's a lot less in there than you think… Maybe I’m strange, but I’m surely not nearly as complex as you make me out to be.”

Relaxing back into her seat, a fresh waft of dirty salt-stained air mingled with the stale air conditioning that pumped through the place. She knew that those upright and coherent were starting to stare, while their companions, unable to see straight, just swayed with the gentle rocking of the boat as metal creaked around them. A woman in a place like this was a rare enough sight, although many remotely sober found reason to avoid any such lady that would step through the door unaccompanied. After all, whatever baggage brought them here wasn’t theirs to take home with them…

Two though, two changed the narrative. Two insinuated a different ending to the night’s events.

“Let me tell you a story…” Amber started, watching those with enough sense turn away leaving the remainder with bravery boosted by liquor to narrow their gazes under that heady, yellow glow. “It's not the kind that has a beginning, middle and end ‘cause that would imply that there's a shred of linear sense to it…”

Swallowing hard, the flood of alcohol in her veins left her light-headed in the moment but she simply played it off as a pause for effect.

“I knew a girl once, in a flower dress. She didn’t like me and frankly I didn’t blame her… I didn’t like me then either so how could I expect any different. I remember her though, barefoot in a garden, in the middle of a concrete jungle that she didn’t belong in.”
 
“It didn’t stop me wanting to do something, save her maybe… The more she fought to put down roots in an iron foundation, the harder I tried to pull before she became just another weed in the sidewalk. I wasn’t alone though - there was another who fought harder than I did, who seemed to understand the consequence with more weight.”

Cryptic. The words slurred as the recollection grew fuzzy, frames out of order making less sense as the story went on. Amber could feel the lump in her throat hardening, like the air she breathed was turning to dirt on her lips. Even the salt started to taste more musty and green, heady yet sterile.

“A girl in a flower dress named after the stars. I don’t think I need to tell you why that matters…” Amber paused thoughtfully. “She wasn’t the first, as I've come to understand most recently, that I was late for… She’s the one I should have learned from though. First one, Cassidy, I was young and stupid. I could have done more but I was so caught up in my own shit, trying desperately to just be everything for everyone... However, the girl in the flower dress, I had every opportunity to do better..”

Remorse flickers in her smile as Amber tries to chuckle off the resentment piling on her shoulders, too many people had fallen beyond her grasp…. And now another was offering their hand. She didn’t have to be sober to understand how history had a nasty habit of repeating in such cases.

“... And I didn’t. Now, here we are… Another girl named after the stars - except this one wants to try and redeem me it seems.”

Cassie opened her mouth to talk but said nothing for moments that became minutes, lower lip twitching as various words momentarily lived and died. Her eyes narrowed slightly, the smooth skin of her temples creasing but she didn’t look away from Amber. Someone else named after the stars? She didn’t believe in coincidences …

“The Lord works in mysterious ways,” She managed finally, seemingly satisfied with that summation of the impossible, the unlikely and the random. She reached over and picked up the smeared glass, bringing it up to her face to sniff at carefully - as though the firewater coating the bottom might jump out and bite her.

She tipped it back and drained the glass without so much as a grimace. “That sounds like quite a story …” She said, “Maybe more like a tragedy. You mentioned you had the chance to save her, but there’s a difference between opportunity and duty; being able to and having to.”

“Could you really have stopped it all?” Cassie asked. “Would you have made the difference, or are you just chewing over something you were never going to be able to change?” 

Pensively, Amber fidgeted with her glass for far too long, as though it might just magically refill if she moved it the right way in the light.

“If I ever find out, I’ll let you know. How about in the meantime though, you tell me a story... maybe about those scars on your arm.”

Raising an eyebrow, Amber studied the younger woman for a moment in hopes of masking her own silent agitation with thinly veiled curiosity, and overt drunken lack of tact.
Of course, the redhead wasn’t about to tell Cassie how those scars brought her story bubbling to the surface to begin with, that someone she knew sharing such a specific skin mosaic had been the reason she’d failed the girl in the flower dress to begin with… How she’d be willing to perhaps maim on sight for everything they’d taken from her.


Cassie wrapped a hand around the forearm in question, flexing her fingers. She looked down at the spotless material hiding the scars, but her hand moved upwards, passing over her bicep. With an expression that might have been pain she hooked a forefinger under the line of her collar, pulling the fabric away from her neck and exposing that same mass of scar tissue twisting the skin of her collarbone and shoulder.

“It’s my salvation,” She said and as she talked, contraction of the muscles in her jaw and neck made the ribbons of angry, red skin dance where they were revealed. “Through suffering, I was made new.”

No stranger to scarification, Amber herself was riddled thanks to a career’s worth of reckless deathmatch prowess and generally terrible life choices, however she couldn’t put from her mind how she’d seen such angry curls and vines stretching across skin on another before. They weren’t the same though, that was the important difference, even in an intoxicated state she knew they were different… So why did the coincidences still chill her so thoroughly to the bone?

“All this God-speak and such is gonna make me ill. Between that and your distinct determination to give me answers that contain absolutely nothing… I wanna applaud you as much as I’d love to throttle you, Ms Mares.”
 
“Salvation is subjective, just as suffering pertains to the wearer - there are those who consider paper cuts on the same level as the electric chair after all, then there are those who’d just as easily break someone's kneecaps as they would kiss them on the forehead. Black and white; it's all the same when you’re blind.”

More light-headedness, although this time Amber managed to brace with the hopes that her easy, intoxicated smile might continue to mask her unsteady state and slurred undertone.

“God is many things to many people,” Cassie said as she let the material around her neck go, smoothing it back into place. Her left eye fluttered for a second as the fabric of her dress caught on the scar tissue underneath, but it passed after a moment. “Maybe he’s nothing to you, Miss Ryan, and that’s okay.”

She reached down and brought her handbag up to rest on the sticky table. “Faith is a private matter; something between you and the Lord. You talk, he judges.”

“Perhaps though, we’ve done enough talking … And drinking … ” She motioned over her shoulder with a jerk of her chin. “Shall we call it a night?”

Amusedly, despite a brief unwillingness to stop simply for the sake of stopping, the sideways opportune glances that Cassie’s sudden movement had brought upon them quickly changed Amber’s perspective. They’d drawn attention now.

Finding her feet and playing off a slight wobble with the movement of the boat, Amber sidled up beside Cassie just long enough for the harsh whisper to seep from between her lop-sided smile.

“Faith is bullshit … Even God can no longer judge me.”


* * *


The cityscape across the river faded in and out of focus, blurred into a jumble of blinking lights and reflective glass by rain sweeping through. Skyscrapers faded from view behind the stormfront, reduced to silhouettes picked out by the bleeding pulse of anti-collision lights on high-rises. Bustling dive bars and establishments of similar disrepute gave way to dockyards and shipping containers; their only common denominator being hard times.

Towering loading cranes dangled heavy, oxidised chains into the night and they jinked and clattered in the wind, adding a bassy rumble to the rattle of rainwater on cheap tin roofs. KEEP OUT signs made almost completely illegible by time and graffiti flanked broken chain-linked gates crumpled inwards. Cassie hesitated at the threshold.

“Miss Ryan?” She called out, gingerly stepping over a coil of rusted blades set into the spalled concrete and designed to shred the tyres of the unwelcome trying to get in. Somewhere up ahead, a voice called back incoherent and distorted against the shipping containers piled ten high on each side.

She clutched her handbag tight against her chest, shrinking further down inside the perimeter of the umbrella in her free hand as she moved forwards. “Miss Ryan - I don’t think … This doesn’t feel like a short cut …”

Something loud and dissonant crashed behind her, and Cassie wheeled around in time to threaten a skulking cat with the point of her umbrella. The animal pawed at the broken sling it had sent tumbling from the top of a nearby container, hissed in her general direction and then darted off into shadows cast by rusting steel.

Cassie had no sooner relaxed, letting her impromptu weapon drop towards the wet concrete than flinched again, as a voice boomed down from above.

“Hey!” Amber roared from the top of a container forty feet above the ground, cupping her hands unnecessarily around her mouth. “Did you see that cat?”

Grimacing as the rain found its way through her hair to pool around her ears, Cassie sighed. “Miss Ryan; if your shortcut means I need to parkour around this entire dockyard, I’ll make my own way home--No!”

She jabbed the point of the umbrella back up towards the sky. “Do not jump down from there!”

Amber grinned, pushed her bottom lip out and spent a long moment balanced on the edge of the container above. Eventually, she shrugged, held her hands up, mumbled something incoherent and shuffled back and out of view.

Cassie sighed again and turned towards the gates: enough was enough. She got no further than a step or two back the way she’d come when the painful glare of headlights swept across her whole vision, swallowing up the whole dockyard in brilliant white. The rumble of an engine nearby beat out the storm and blinking away the stars dancing across her eyes, she squinted at a pickup truck idling between the broken gates.

Blocking the gates.

She stepped backwards, struggling to pick out any detail in the glare. Cassie heard the unmistakable thump of doors closing and boots on concrete. Something heavy clattered against metal.

Silhouettes cut into the headlights’ beam, resolving into detail as they got closer. Half a dozen shapes at least - some carrying bats, others sporting lengths of chain tight between heavy fists. All of them had obvious ill intent; none of them looked lost. Tugging on the shaft of her umbrella, Cassie pulled the vanes in and presented the metal tip with as much menace as she could muster.

“Nice night to make a smart decision,” The closest one said in a thick accent at home with the shipping containers and cranes. “Where’s your friend?”

Cassie made a show of looking around herself. “My friend?”

Slapping the head of the bat held in his free palm, he sighed. “Ain’t my preferred way to spend my time, roughing up sweethearts. Think it’s important you know I don’t enjoy it.”

That made her frown. “So why do it then?”

“Consequences,” He said simply. “You’re cute, so I’m gonna’ give you one last chance. Where’s your friend? She got a reckoning coming her way for what she did.”

Taking a moment to close her eyes, tip her head back to feel the rain and suck in a full chest of air, Cassie steeled herself. “She’ll be long gone by the time you’re through with me.”

The apparent leader of this band of thugs almost looked contrite; a strange mix of resignation washing over his stubbled, weathered features. “Okay, guess you have that right to choose the manner of how this goes down. Let’s get to making you regret that choice.”

He never got the chance, courtesy of the sling sent crashing to the ground earlier by a mischievous cat and subsequently launched into the side of his head courtesy of a Painted Hurricane. Steel broke bone with a crisp crack, sending him down to the concrete hard. The others scattered momentarily, shouting at each other and the wider dockyard and in the chaos, Amber helped herself to one nearly-new bat. Only one previous careless owner, currently bleeding from the brain in the rain.

She felt sluggish, she felt wasted, but adrenaline soon burnt up the mental fogginess and made everything deliciously vivid. Extending the tip of her new bat out towards the remaining group, Amber smirked. “I got your consequences right here. Come and reap them.” 

The first to take her up on the challenge gave his jaw to the cause, spinning away spraying blood, spit and broken teeth. He mewled on the ground, murmuring and pawing against rain-slicked concrete as the second thug was caught square in the throat and dropped to his knees, gasping and retching for air.

The third had some time to plan a strategy more coherent, and he stalked Amber at the limit of her bat’s reach. The fourth thug made for Cassie, who swung her umbrella haphazardly and just effectively enough to keep him at bay for a while. This made for a useful distraction and when Amber glanced away towards the other woman, the circling thug made his move and crashed his forearm into her temple. She staggered, trying to create space but he was obviously a better fighter than a leader - so much for the latter anyway -  because he was on her in a second; repeated fists to her face.

Amber absorbed the hits, pain mixing with the adrenaline and booze-fuelled buzz. One caught her on the side of the mouth and she tasted iron. Ignoring her baser instincts, she allowed her body to go limp for just a few seconds, slumping under the raining blows. He took the bait and paused his assault to bask in satisfaction over her limp form, only to end up on the business end of a bat forced into the sternum. Staggering backwards, Amber was on her feet before he could even so much as look up. The second swing put him on his back, flailing, and the third stopped him moving again.

Stepping over the wheezing body, Amber was just too far away to do anything but watch Cassie take a hard fist to the temple, collapsing like a puppet with its strings cut. Everything - the rain, the blood in her mouth, the pain in her skull - dissipated in a surging white-out of boiling, radiant fury. She just walked through his punches; good, strong hits that should have given her something to think about but went totally, utterly, completely disregarded.

Amber didn’t stop pushing down on the bat across his throat with all her might, even with the stomach-curdling creak of crushed cartilage. First he punched her, then he scratched at her as rational thought broke down. The thug ripped and teared at her jacket, drawing parallel, weeping lines down her cheeks where his fingernails desperately clawed.

She just leaned into the contorting, jerking spasm and pressed harder. Just a short distance away Cassie lolled on her back, glassy eyes finding Amber’s. Lips twitching something unintelligible.

He might have been dead, but Amber kept up the pressure until his collarbone broke. She thought she heard his chest rattle in some incredible determination to stay alive.

A savage boot to the back of her head crushed Amber’s skull against her victim’s with a sickening thud, and her fury evaporated in a single all-consuming moment of agony. She rolled onto her back, bat forgotten, and lifted her spinning head only for a rain-soaked, worn-out tread to descend from the stars and force it back down hard against the concrete.

She coughed reflexively, blood spilling over her teeth as another thug joined in with savage kicks to her gut and back. Amber pressed her cheek into the cool rainwater and saw Cassie trying to pull herself across the short distance between them, that same vacant expression making it obvious nobody was home behind those bright blue eyes.

“Should have brought more guys,” One of the thugs managed between wheezing snatches of air. “Whole lot of effort just to teach this bitch a few lessons.”

“Morley never was a good planner,” One of the others replied in-between kicks to Amber’s spine, glancing over to look at the trembling body lying next to the bloodied sling and the first to eat concrete. “Probably why he’s dead. Looks it anyway.”

Dead? Surely not. It hadn't really occurred to her prior to this moment that she might have even hit that hard. That red-fuelled rage left her as a backseat driver while her body chose violence on auto-pilot.

Self-defence. Reasonable action. Maybe if she'd had a moment to breathe, more than a second to keep her face off the slickened concrete - then perhaps things might have registered beyond the debilitating dizziness and radiating pain from what felt like everywhere.

Cassie.

Not this time.

Failure was a powerful motivator as she desperately engaged whatever strength she had left to twist beyond the impact of another heavy boot, intended to leave her teeth embedded in the ground. It wasn't much, but it was unexpected and those precious seconds were running out fast…

Rolling onto her knees, Amber crawled half the distance towards where Cassie found herself; a little between standing tall on her feet and down in some squatting, heavy tilt. Scrambling beyond the wild swing of something hard and aimed for her head, Amber dropped, scraping a hole through the fabric and into the front of her knee in front of Cassie. One hand clasped tightly onto the younger girl's shoulder, feigning reassurance as more blood trickled over her lips. The other scrambled in her pocket trying to keep a grip with cold, bloody and rain-slicked fingers.

Desperate and raspy, Amber barely recognized the gutteral noise escaping with the first good breath she'd been able to draw in what felt like hours. “Cassie. You need to run, take my phone and go. Head to my apartment, call Mac and tell him to meet you there ... “

With vacant eyes, Cassie stared beyond Amber. Through her maybe, bright blue as clear as the rain splashing off their skin. Amber wasn't even sure she comprehended as she forced her phone into Cassie’s limp hand. It was a gamble, no doubt.

Would have been damn easy to run and just leave her behind as well, another statistic in a newspaper page being turned in favour of the misogynistic and outdated cartoon repeats.

Too easy.


Amber hated easy. There was never anything to be gained from it except a further burrowing hollowness she couldn’t fulfil. Even now, the bloodied redhead wasn’t sure if Cassie could even hear her over the pouring rain - if she could just...

A hard blow broke her train of thought.

Time had run out again as Amber struggled to get her hands out to brace her fall, the sudden surge of new pain almost immediately eclipsed by the relentless agony that radiated from her cheekbone as it slammed into the unyielding floor.  A heavy boot tread left a brand new groove at the base of her skull.

Lights flickered at the edge of her perspective, flashes of brilliance that weren’t really there punctuated by numbing strikes that jarred and drove the breath from her lungs. More metal on her tongue, although she wasn’t sure where it was coming from this time. Besides ... Blood and rain looked all the same in the dark.

Coughing and spluttering for a half-decent breath seemed arbitrary by now, as the edges of her vision blurred and clouded in dark.


“Forget her,” One of the thugs called out as Cassie scrambled away, delivering another stiff kick to the woman lying down at his feet, “She’s plenty roughed up already. Besides …”

He sank down, squatting next to Amber and waved a hand across her bloodied face. She struck out at thin air and he grinned with blood-stained teeth. “About time we put this bitch out of her misery.”

Amber tried to blink away the storm and the stars shooting across her vision, but all she could see were smudges of light and twisted shapes fighting for the last, narrowing tunnel of remaining consciousness. Something grey against the nighttime sky hovered overhead and she narrowed her eyes, turning her head just enough to paint the concrete red with a hacking splutter. Rainwater pooled around the edge of the leather and a worn tread resolved into view. A boot.

“Fuck …” She breathed, every syllable drawn out in barely enough oxygen to function and too much pain to think. “Fuck … You …”

“Nah,” The thug replied with a shake of his head. “No last words. Don’t want to hear them. What about you guys? You want to hear them?”

Her ears rang with the jeers of the rest of the men still standing, augmented by at least three powerful concussions working concurrently.

The boot filled what was left of her entire world, rose up and came down to end everything.

Amber heard it before she felt it - eyes squeezed shut in reflex - but it didn’t feel right. Disconnected; echoing. She was still somehow thinking about never having another thought again. That wasn’t right.

Then she heard another thud. Softer. Not rubber-against-concrete, but flesh and breaking bone followed by a cry cut short at the crescendo of agony. With a supreme effort, she forced her eyes open and let her head drop to the side nearest the violence.

Cassie drove the point of her elbow into the soft cartilage of a thug’s throat, folding it in on itself. As he staggered back, eyes widened in choking, gasping surprise, she collapsed backwards in perfect partnership with gravity and down to the concrete. Swinging a long leg in an irresistible arc, she took him off his feet even as he clutched and massaged and tried to compress a shattered voicebox back together with nothing more than his own hands.

No. Not Cassie. Amber tried to lift her head to get a better angle as she followed the fight, but her addled brain sat stewing in its own confusion against the back of her skull and everything threatened to spin into unconsciousness. She couldn’t even pick out a face; it just resolved into a formless, blank canvas. Like a mask painted in some poor facsimile of features. 

They surrounded her now, all three still left moving under their own power now the rest were out dreaming with the sun. The first swung hard without the necessary grace and she sidestepped, extending an arm around the back of his head as momentum carried him through and past. She clamped hard against his neck and threw her body in the opposite direction - generating a savage counter-torque which promptly broke blood vessels and fractured vertebrae. She landed inclined on the ground with her free arm bent at the elbow, he landed on his back with glassy eyes staring up at the storm.

The remaining pair faltered, exchanged a glance and nodded before moving in together. Unfortunately for the closest thug, his partner took a half-step less just as they closed the distance - deliberately, cowardly - and reduced their numerical advantage to nothing. He threw another hard punch straight-on but she was already inside his guard, batting the blow away with a forearm; levering it across his bicep and trapping the arm snug against her armpit.

He panicked, half-trapped, and desperately lashed out with his remaining fist until he was completely, absolutely trapped and held pinned in place. Without hesitation she drove her forehead in and down, exploding his nose. Again.

Again.

He went limp in her vice-grip. She drove her forehead down a fourth time and when she pulled free, intimate ropes of red linked them together. She let him collapse to the concrete and stepped over his ragdolled body. 

Amber watched this new stranger turn to face the last thug left standing. Gritting her teeth with effort, spilling more blood between them to drip in tracks down her chin, she thought she could finally see something resembling a face. A wide smile. Too wide. Stretched out and curved at the corners and filled with angled, sharp incisors that had no depth. As if they were somehow two-dimensional. Painted. The eyes were impossibly inset; buried deep and looking out …

But they were bright, and blue. And alive with the thrill.

Driven by adrenaline, he finally came at her fast - too fast. In his heart-pounding haste, he lost his footing on the rain-slicked concrete as he came in swinging and slipped. It took him a full second to readjust and turn and half that time again to react to the flat of her foot as it crashed against his jaw. Instinctively he doubled over to cradle his mouth and the stranger followed up with the meat of her thigh applied hard to the chest. Snaking her arms around to meet between his shoulder blades she abruptly dropped, crashing him sternum-first against an outstretched knee.

He wheezed, flailed and she held him tight and held him down. Shoulders trembling with effort, elbows bowing up and out, she forced his ribcage against her knee until it broke and pushed harder until it shattered. Offset at an angle, the thug’s head jerked up to lock eyes with Amber, teeth tumbling from a slack mouth on bloody curtains.

She held him tight and held him down until he stopped moving, and then for a little while longer. Tussling his rain and sweat-slicked hair with her fingers, she sent him spinning away to land on the concrete, broken face-down. Eventually, she stood and for another while tipped her face up towards the storm. Then, she turned and without a shred of urgency befitting the three bodies strewn around in the rain, made her way over to Amber and down to her knees.

A mask of bone-white looked down, bright blue eyes framed by smears and streaks of red.

“My beautiful Hurricane …” She said, and the words were thick. Accented. “Painted into tough times …”

She leaned down, pressing cold ceramic against Amber’s forehead in some parody of a kiss. “I’ve come to save you from yourself. Are you ready?”

Pulling away as violently as she might manage without throwing herself into the ground, Amber jerked back, spitting noisily into the night.

"Between you and me…" Amber's words came out strained and tinny, harshly metallic and stained in something darker than the blood she tried poorly to keep behind her lips. "Think I'd rather die."

Forcing herself further away from the proposed 'savior' in revulsion that bubbled up from the tattered remains of a soul, Amber managed slowly, agonisingly slowly, to get to her knees. Rain washed over her hunched frame in a torrent of swirling red that pooled around her.

"Suppose that's all you ever really wanted. Right?!"

She couldn't contain the laughter, even as it jarred every bone not already displaced. Haunting and empty from a smile painted as heavy as a hurricane in its last throes, head lolling as though hanging by an unseen thread between them. Maybe she should have suspected better, maybe she wished she hadn't. All that seemed to exist was broken laughter and clouded eyes.

"My throat. Your hands. Simple really..."

Stop caring so much. Laugh more.

Foolproof.

"My sweet Amber …"

Amber lifted her heavy, spinning head, allowing the wash of water to briefly soothe the pains shooting through her skull as it ran down the back of her neck. Everything seemed a little fuzzy on the edges, yet somehow the familiar stranger seemed far more defined. If only out of spite.

"I'm sorry this lesson must be so painful ... But you're a difficult pupil …"

A smaller chuckle this time as Amber forced herself up to a single, trembling knee.

"Or maybe - you probably haven't thought about this - you're just a shitty teacher."

The fist came in like a freight train, rocking her sideways as the swirling lights returned like she'd somehow stumbled out into the middle of a busy highway. Still, somehow, Amber forced herself back up, concussion amplifying every sensation and yet dulling anything important.

"When will you accept my intentions ..."

Another punch. This one the redhead never saw coming, even though they were barely feet apart. Creeping darkness seemed to crawl across her vision as the rain faded into the background, she couldn't even feel it on her skin  now … A cold comfort in the face of impending nothingness, lost.

" ... Come from a place of love?"

Love. Was that what she called it all those years ago? Same place and different time. Amber wasn't the most familiar with what love was supposed to be, but she knew it wasn't this … Violence calling itself salvation and love letters written in blood left to flood the gutters with whatever meaning they had left.

Strangers didn't offer love, in the same way lovers didn't offer salvation.

Amber knew the person in front of her could offer neither, but the rest of her defiance was steadily dripping onto the concrete. If this was supposed to be the end of anything then let it be known that it wasn't without absolute and total defiance.

"You must have me mistaken for another flower girl."

Springing forth with everything she had left to give, Amber wasn't sure what she was hoping to achieve, maybe to catch the malicious saviour unawares or off-balance. That somehow, she'd be found with blood under her fingernails and the mask that had tormented her years ago torn away in her hands. That’d be some way to go down.

Legs unsteady, Amber knew before she ever hit her mark that she wouldn't have nearly enough behind her to do more than simply cause a stumble. An inconvenience, like an errant splash of water over freshly-polished shoes.

It was something. It was better than simply accepting.

Being compliant.

After everything...

No. Fuck that.

Scrambling, Amber tried to grasp for anything that might keep her semi-upright. The slope of a shoulder. The curve of a waist. The edge of a masque.

Everything happened in slow motion to the eye, but quicker than the brain could process. An elbow caught her square in the temple like a bloody neon bullseye had been painted right across it.

Spinning off like she'd been blasted by a shotgun at point blank, the darkness finally claimed the redhead long before she ever found the concrete again. If it wasn't so inevitable, it would have been incredibly sad in spite of the laughter’s echo that seemed to fade into the storm.

Masque stooped down into the runoff, reaching out to run gloved fingers against the side of Amber’s face. She softly traced the path of swollen welts and weeping cuts, dancing between each wound, before gently cupping a cheek in her hand. 

Her hand continued down, skirting Amber’s tender jaw until it settled around her throat. She squeezed.

“Now …” Masque said, tightening her grip incrementally, “I think you’re ready to learn.”

Without warning, she brutally forced Amber’s head upwards off the concrete and brought the other woman’s grimacing face level with hers. The Redhead wheezed, struggling to stay semi-conscious in the choking grasp.

“If you listen; if you study hard in my lessons and apply what I teach you … I’ll tell you where he is.”

Something primordial, bestial, ignited in Amber and she strained upwards, bloodied teeth bared. With a tensed arm Masque held her at bay, straining, snarling, and squeezed tight. Her rage, powered by the same fuel as the body it inhabited and with both now starved of air, snuffed out. Amber’s eyes rolled back and finally, mercifully, the darkness took her again and this time, kept her.

Cradling the back of the unconscious woman’s head protectively as she lowered it back down, Masque took a second to wipe a streak of blood from Amber’s lips, before sweeping her up in her arms.

“Welcome to Wonderland,” She said to the storm and the Painted Hurricane. 



27
Rain followed the steel down from the sky, turning a poisoned orange as it collected in murky pools ringed with rust. It tracked down rutted concrete, following well-worn paths stained a shade darker where decades of run-off disappeared into storm drains and overwhelmed gutters. Stanchions and guard rails cut up the constant glow of passing headlamps, generating a pulsing lighthouse fuelled by the rush hour snarl.

Idling engines made a bassline, rumbling underneath the tinkle of water on metalwork and the rhythmic thump of wipers against glass.

She breathed the stink of corrosion, gasoline and garbage in deep. It stung the back of her throat. Tasted like an urban sprawl distilled into its base elements. Tasted like Atlantic City.

Angels with blank faces worn smooth by time and fouled by traffic fumes gave her some cover from the rain, hanging out from the corners of the apartment block on spiralled buttresses. Utility cables bolted to the brickwork cut up the skin of the building into patches, running in pale tracks like stitching. All the more conspicuous where paint added to roll back the years hadn’t quite reached underneath the runs.

Muzak tinkled and jarred against the groan of cabling under weight as the elevator brought her up to the fifth floor. The hallway was clean and sterile and she stopped in front of a generic print of a sailboat that had never existed, sailing down some impossibly idyllic river. Its artist might have been trying to pass the effort off as minimalist but the lack of detail, definition - passion - just spoke a clear truth.

Half-hearted. Corporate. Soulless.

She was followed by a silhouette all the way up to the door of Apartment #14, courtesy of buzzing fluorescent lights in tarnished, brass-plated fittings that made a trailing shadow around the corner all the more obvious. A creaking floorboard underneath the plush purple carpet made for an impromptu warning, an urban rattlesnake tail, and she worked the groan with the point of a cherry-red heel. The shadow retreated and didn’t come back.

Light spilled out from underneath a door subtly reinforced with metal plating, making it that much harder to stove in. Unlike the sailboat, a real, heartfelt, authentic product of Atlantic City. She pressed a palm against the buzzer. It rang out muffled and tuneless behind.

Moments passed heavily, stale air hanging in the seconds between the trailing echo of the buzzer and the almost inaudible footsteps betrayed by an approaching shadow that blotted out the light.
Unimpressed and dishevelled, with her tangled mess of thick red hair fallen into a disparate side part, Amber Ryan couldn't have appeared more unimpressed if she tried.

With slightly bloodshot eyes and a lazy half-smile, she regarded the stranger on her doorstep expectantly.

"I'm not buying any Jesus."

Anyone showing up on her doorstep unannounced had balls. Titanium. The kind that would leave the average man bow legged perhaps- whether it was ignorance or arrogance that brought them here was almost irrelevant.
Fifteen seconds, give or take, before things started to get vitriolic. It was an unspoken rule and Amber had already started her count.

A brilliant smile. Bright and practiced and as authentic as the sailboat. “Miss Ryan? Good …”

She trailed off for a second, the smile wavering as she leaned slightly forward to not-so-surreptitiously sneak a glance inside. Then, back to respecting distance. Perfect teeth back on display. “Good Evening. Are you ready to go?”

"Go? Oh fuck. Don't tell you're the reaper… man this is really disappointing. I was expecting black cloak, scythe, bony fingers reaching out to send me to hell…" Amber gestured indecisively, a raised eyebrow only confirming the deliberate nature of her sarcasm and vocal disappointment.

"Feel like I'm gonna be writing a Yelp review or something about this… is that a thing in Hell? Probably. Seems like it would."

Making absolutely no effort to move, if in fact more a shift in weight so that she might lean further into the door frame- Amber regarded the overly cherry female with a thinly veiled apathy. If there were an invitation indoors expected- then at least Amber wouldn't be the only one left wanting.

“I’m very much focused on life,” She replied. “The affairs of unearthly realms aren’t really my speciality. I stick with public affairs. Much more predictable …”

She glanced, head askew at Amber’s tousled hair. “Speaking of predictability, that’s why I’m here. Or the lack of it. I assume you haven’t been keeping a particularly close eye on your emails?”

Forcing a sickly sweet smile, Amber leaned in a little only to find herself briefly assaulted by the heady aroma of perfume. Thick. Earthy. Floral.

"I have a tendency of forgetting such things- consider it a side effect of actively trying to ruin everyone else's day." The reply came dripping with insincerity, the countdown now long past as Amber found herself intrigued just enough to participate at the barest minimum level.
"... And judging by the fact you are still on my doorstep with little more than a smile and a backhanded snark about my time management, you seem to know that gift all too well."

“I do,” She nodded, “But maybe I should have called ahead. You’re certainly very talented at what you do, a bombshell in every definition of the word but there’s a feeling that, when you’re not competing, your brand could benefit from a little more positive engagement.  The company is very keen to support you in building better links with the community and of course, monetising to the benefit of all of us. We are nothing without our fans.

She smiled again and held out a hand. “They’re our ecosystem after all. Helping us grow and bloom. My name is Cassiopeia Mare - and I’m your new Talent Relations Officer.”

Amber could have sworn the air leaving her lungs was deafening, her chest feeling as though it might collapse under the strain. Cassiopeia. A girl in a flower dress. Had the temperature dropped five degrees?
Coincidence. It had to be- this woman, in a her virtuously optimistic glory bore no resemblance, nothing about her had given the redhead pause for thought before now. A name was just a name.

So why did it make Amber feel like she wanted to be sick.

"Unusual name." Amber managed to choke out, hoping that the sudden distress wasn't as obvious as it felt. "The kind never found on any crappy novelty items growing up I suppose."

“You can just call me Cassie, Miss Ryan,” She replied without breaking eye contact. Passive, no flicker of suspicion or reaction on her face. As placid and smooth as the wrinkle-free, matching red dress she wore. “My Dad told me I was named after the stars, apparently ..”

Clutching a purse against her belly, Cassie shrugged her shoulders up in an exaggerated display of disarming nonchalance. “So - if you’re not up to our dinner date to talk strategy, maybe I could come inside instead?”   

Normally a parental figure would be the one to educate about never inviting strangers in- particularly ones with overly chipper attitudes and a proper mannerism that just felt off. However Amber, a contrarian by nature, simply stepped out of the door frame and back into the depths of her apartment.
No mention of invitation however no decline of trespass into her sanctuary either. A test perhaps, although Amber wasn't particularly sure which outcome she preferred.

Linoleum met carpet as a barely used kitchen met an open plan living area lacking anything resembling life beyond a faint divot on one side of the couch cushions. Amber, still trying to swallow the bile that had collected at the back of her throat scraped out a chair at a kitchen table used for storage and dropped into it like an oversized ragdoll.

Cassie stepped straight through, sweeping her gaze around the apartment as she sat opposite Amber, perched on the very edge of the plastic seat with her palms folded flat in her lap. The table between them was bare except for a single, oversized ceramic bowl and a set of car keys dropped inside. She ran a palm across the shiny, metallic tabletop. The surface was smooth, no tell-tale microscratches or gouges caused by inevitable, daily wear-and-tear.

The brass handles fixed to the front of each kitchen cabinet were uniformly polished. Shiny. No dulling caused by time and the repeat application of grasping fingers. The smell of new plastic hung in the air from white goods still sporting protective films across their control panels. This wasn’t a place lived in very often. It was no home.

“They say home is where the heart is, Miss Ryan,” Cassie began. “The key to building your brand and that authentic connection is to understand where your heart is. What makes you … Well, you. It’s all about personalisation. Choosing the right opportunities that fit. My job is to know you, so I can sell you.”

Another bright smile. “Metaphorically, of course.”

That fucking bright smile was like the sun peeking through the window when you had a hangover. Inevitable and yet entirely unwelcome. A twitch under Amber's left eye triggered as the half smile blossomed into something a little more considered.

"See, here's the thing… Cassie." Even just the name tasted like ash on her tongue. "It's a well known fact that my selling point- and the reason that we are in fact sitting here now… is from what I go out there and do in a ring. Way I see it, the less the big wide world knows about my private business, the happier everyone seems to be. It's proven. It's profitable."

Amber wasn't usually one to flex her business chop, never much one for politicking or promotional nonsense. However it also didn't make her oblivious to the shifting of gears and how easily they might become jammed with a word out of place.

"There are far bigger problems to fix… than just my shitty outlook."

A noncommittal shrug. Almost an act of spite disguised as a peek beyond the otherwise car crash façade.

The smile diminished, lips drawing in. Cassie looked contrite. “Public Relations has moved on in recent years, Miss Ryan. Once upon a time, it was singularly focused on exploitation of the resource, namely, you. Unfortunately, the nature of this business is for talent to burn brilliantly for all too brief a while. Less a star and more a supernova. Such a short window to extract value before time or the audience’s tastes move on. It’s why there are so many burned-out, used-up, embittered veterans crowd-funding for surgery to give them back the ability to walk without hurting …”

For a second, Cassie’s attention diffused - gaze less on Amber herself and more straight through and out the other side. That smile faltered, until she refocused. “Those days are in the past. Now, we look after our resources because they’re people. With stories and tragedies and adversities all overcome. Miracles make money, after all. We don’t just monetise, we humanise.

Cassie tucked a lock of blonde hair back behind her ear. “I’m not just here to fill your calendar with behind-the-scenes exposes or trips to support the Young Farmers of America. I don’t just solve the company’s problems. I solve yours. It works as it is now. For sure, you’re profitable now …”

She leans closer across the table, exuding energy, with just the slightest upward curl of her lip adding a little smirk to that smile and risking a full-blown grin. “It can work better, and I will make it work better for you.” 

Amber regarded her like a vulture circling a meal that was still moving a little too much. Cautious, but with little patience. Another twitch at the edge of her lip faded as she ran her fingers back through her hair so that it might fall away from her face.

"I can appreciate the sentiment. However you might just be barking up the wrong tree… what if, heaven forbid, I like being that embittered veteran, that decrepit internet darling who should have given it up five years earlier- but still claims they still have one good run left." Amber leaned in across the table, fingers drumming silently at the edge.

"It's all well and good to stand on my doorstep and talk a big game. That's just wrestling at it's stupid finest, you know?
If you think though for a second that I'm just gonna surrender my image and everything I've built then razed to the ground- to you… cause reasons?"

Re-releasing the chuckle that had bubbled at the back of her throat, Amber draws herself back to her full height seated.

"I get it, I'm a bit of a problem child. I say, act and do without much thought or concern. Impulsive maybe. Blatantly disrespectful probably.
I'll be honest, I don't really give a fuck about my 'problems' so why should I believe you would… outside of a pretty penny in your pocket and a bump to your reputation."

Cassie folded her arms across her chest, creasing bright red material underneath. A smile never left her ruby lips, but the tone shifted abruptly. “Miss Ryan, I hope you’re not mistaking my easy-going personality for naivety. I - well, that is, the company - know exactly what elements of your image we do and don’t own. This isn’t a power-grab. Besides, I understand all-too-well how successful you are outside of competition. No doubt there’s a high powered team of lawyers ready to swoop in from your side at any time …”

She shook her head. “No, this isn’t about taking anything that’s rightfully yours. Only about maximising it to the benefit of both parties. That isn’t necessarily monetary; it’s personal. Mental. A happy champion is a profitable one. Or at least …

“ … A less-fucked-up one?” Cassie said with a laugh. Sweet and bright.  “Besides - as good at this as I am, and I must be if they’ve given me the challenge of, well, you … I’m no miracle worker. I leave that to the Lord and his good graces. My aim is to smooth out some of the rough edges of your life. Not reshape it.”

“I’ve got some more colourful metaphors about sunshine over rain if that swings it?” She asked, this time with a full-blown smirk.

Amber feigns a retreat, throwing her hands up theatrically.

"Oh, a religious one. Great. Fantastic even- you know, I always figured I'd get struck down for my sins but never thought I'd have my ashes getting vacuumed out of my own carpet." Amber commented luridly as she leaned further back into her chair.
"I can appreciate that you know how to use buzz words in context and that you take me for slightly less of an idiot as I no doubt come across as."

Clearing her throat, Amber pauses to allow the silence to swallow them whole while she reflexively half-smiles with narrowed eyes.

"If you'll allow me to be blunt- and if not, then might I suggest simply leaving, we both know that corporate doublespeak is for those not willingly throwing themselves in front of a bus every other week." Leaning in, Amber examined the woman as though hoping the outwardly optimistic demeanour had a hairline crack- anything that might prove she was more than the manifestation of a HR think tank, LSD fuelled brainstorm.
Perhaps the lack of distinguishable chinks Amber found in the armour was becoming far more concerning.

"Besides… this all just feels like a formality. You're here to tell me that this is just something that's happening and I'm just gonna go along with it cause otherwise I look like more of an asshole than usual. Right?"

Another pause.

"If you're gonna sit there and continue to bullshit me, at least maybe be honest about it."

Cassie pursed her lips and looked up at the featureless, porcelain-coloured ceiling plaster. “Let me be equally candid with you, Miss Ryan, and cut the bullshit neither of us really wants to hear. The company makes more in a week than you do in ten years and you earn more in a month than I’ll earn in my entire, working life. There’s definitely a mismatch here, a hierarchy, but I can assure you I’m at the bottom, looking up.

“I suppose if I do extraordinarily well with you I might see a bonus,” She continued with a shrug. “Make no mistake, though, that anything I see reflected in your willingness to be only ten miles from toeing the company line pales in insignificance compared to the commercial rewards you’ll see. I’d like to think I’m very good at my job, but I’m eminently replaceable. You’re a much rarer commodity. A somebody.”

She smiled, but her eyes didn’t light up the same. “They can terminate me tomorrow and find ten just-as-qualified replacements. You’re much harder to replace. Not impossible, mind you … But a lot harder. So you’re right, but not for the reasons you think.”

“If you don’t go along with it,” Cassie said, “You’ll look like an asshole for either making me look like I can’t do my job or just plain causing me to lose it. I don’t make the company money; you do. I just help you to do that.”

Cassie swung one leg over the other, tugging the hem of her scarlet skirt down. “In my humble experience, Miss Ryan, the Lord doesn’t always punish sinners directly. He’s a little more ingenuitive than that. A pastor of mine once said if you kill ‘em, they won’t learn nothin’ … Well, words to that effect. I think he meant better to punish those around the sinner, visit misery on loved ones and things. Karma, if you’ll pardon the religious ambiguity.”   

Her eyes found Amber’s for a long second. “I’d wager the very little I have to my name that even someone as destructive and unforgiving as you, Miss Ryan, has something they love. Or loved. Everyone has that sort of anchor.”

“Even hurricanes have a direction.”

Resting her elbows on the formica tabletop, Amber's smile grew into something harsher and more genuine. Caustic with meaning. A sudden honesty in the face of rising odds and an insurmountable sarcasm- the coincidences were uncanny. A different body housing a similar soul.

"Here's the thing…" The curl in Amber's lip gave her smile that acerbic splashback. "It's not about the finances, money is the root of all evil, no?
If I cared a moment for beautiful things, then we wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation."

Amber studied the woman across from her for a moment, the casualness in her body language a juxtaposition to the underlying determination to prove herself in her words. It was as though she wanted, needed perhaps, Amber's approval in the same way Amber needed to keep the world 5 miles out of the blast radius at all times.

"Maybe there would be more just like you- but I get the sense you aren't here cause of a short straw. I get the sense you're used to being collateral damage, that what might terrify others out of an opportunity is just an average Tuesday.
It isn't so much you like the challenge, the inevitable fall… but be damned if you don't like hanging out on the edge of the precipice tempting fate to do it'd worst."

Something resembling a soft chuckle emanates from the back of the redheads throat, accidental and far more significant because of it.

"Who we love… or have loved, becomes irrelevant in that case cause they know you're the one that will lose it all."

Cassie mulled the words over, pushing a cheek out with the edge of her tongue. She tapped her teeth loudly together. “There’s truth there, you’re right. God loves a trier, Miss Ryan - but he much prefers the martyr. So maybe I can do both; maybe won’t but still end up with a little of his grace for the effort.”

“We’re all just killing time until it kills us,” She said. “Like flowers in a vase, right?”

Suddenly, Cassie broke back into that smile. “Still, we can’t get too philosophical. This is Atlantic City, after all. Casinos, Concrete and Car Chases. So tell me, Miss Ryan …”

She leaned forward on the points of her elbows. “Are you going to make my average Tuesday?”

Flowers in a vase weren't quite the same as flowers on a dress. Somehow they'd wilted all the same. That roaring optimism was unhealthy, although Amber couldn't quite ascertain for whom, and the smile seemed to feel a little too… anything. Everything. Just… something.
Porcelain maybe. Painted on like a doll.

Amber cocked her head to the side slightly, the blue-green of her eyes shifting like the murky waters of the Boardwalk.

"Only if you're willing to accept martyrdom. Mine or yours. Doesn't seem fair otherwise."

“The Lord works in mysterious ways, just like you Miss Ryan,” Cassie mused. “Like I said before though - maybe unlike you - he loves a trier. I think we have an agreement.”

She patted her lap. “I’ll incrementally improve your life in some useful ways or let you ruin mine trying.”


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