[O Malley]

 Sunday September 1st
Aruba-After Climax Control

Two weeks have gone by since Odette and I beat The Fallen for the Bombshell Tag Team Championships.  Two weeks have passed and yet, it still doesn't seem very real.  If you had asked me not long ago if I ever saw myself in a tag team with Odette, much less winning the tag team titles with her, I would have laughed in your face, because it is no secret how Odette and I feel about one another.

Or at least how she feels about me.

The past few weeks, I've had a lot come into perspective.  My eyes have been opened to the pain and the hell I have put so many people through over the last year and a half, and Odette is one of those people.  From the minute I returned after my injuries had heeled almost a year ago, I had my sights set on Odette Ryder.  I had watched her for months, studying her every move.  My thoughts and intentions had turned dark and twisted, but it wasn't me.  I had a little bit of help in turning me into the monster that I had become.

The men who had saved me...The Brothers...their presence alone changed who I was.  While they didn't speak much, the vibe I got from them turned me into the person they wanted me to be...the Queen they need me to be.  And I let it happen.  For the longest time I couldn't control my actions when they were around, which up until recently, was all the time.  They claimed they needed to be around because it was safer for me, and I believed them.  But the few times I was able to get time to myself, I started to realize the truth.

There was something very off about them, and when they were not around, I was a completely different person.  I was slowly, but surely, turning back into the person I was before I even knew them.  I felt the ice that had formed around my heart slowly start to melt, but it took me a while to accept the fact that I still had a heart at all.  I had caused so much pain that I didn't believe I was capable of feeling remorseful for all the things I had done.

Hell, I still don't.  Because let's face it, there were people in my life I had hurt before I had met The Brothers.  These people were the ones who had mattered most to me, and I threw it all away, and for what?  Independence?  Selfishness?  Greed?

Perhaps a combination of everything.  

I can't even look at myself in the mirror without the memory of the day that was supposed to be the happiest of my life, turned into the worst, and it was all my fault.  I had waited years to marry Spike and finally make our family official, even though we both knew we didn't need a piece of paper to tell us it already was.  We were raising Timmy together, as I had tried to be the best surrogate mother to him after Roxanne had supposedly died.  I treated Timmy as if he were my own son, and it felt natural.  

Then Eden came along and she made our family really complete.  Spike and I had our son, though he wasn't mine by blood, and now we had our beautiful little girl who was the perfect combination of the both of us in the looks department, but had taken after Spike in personality.  She was, and still is, Daddy's little girl and he didn't have one complaint about that.  

My life was perfect.  I had it all, and yet I still threw it away?  I turned my back on Spike, and the rest of my family.  I caused the tears that rolled down my beautiful daughter's cheeks.  I made her afraid of me, and I am still trying to wrap my head around the reasons why.

And now...now the pain of what I did is only intensified with the bombshell(no pun intended) that was dropped on me tonight.  It is the reason that I am sitting on this beautiful beach, staring at the sunset over the ocean.  I didn't know what else to do or where else to go, but the quietness from the beach is enough.

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath, drawing in the scent of the ocean and the beauty surrounding me.  I know I don't look like the type to enjoy this type of scenery, but I've changed a lot over the last few weeks and this is just what I need.  I open my eyes again, as the sun continues its slow descent in the horizon, tinting the sky a brilliant shade of pink, and my mind can only think of one thing.  

Spike.  The father of my children.  My ex-fiancee...now engaged to Vixen.

Why?  How...How could I let this happen?  How could I throw the love we had away, and in a sense, send him right into the arms of Vixen?  She is now the future Mrs. Staggs.  She will be raising my kids as if they were her own, and I only have myself to blame.  But...why do I feel this way?  Why am I on the verge of tears over this situation, when Spike and I have been over for so long?  I don't...I mean I can't...

No...I just need to sit here and clear my head for a while.  It's been a long night.  Everyone else may be celebrating a successful show just behind me at the bar, I've got no desire to celebrate anything.  Keeping to myself sounds like a much better idea.  Not that I have much choice anyway.  

Even Ruby doesn't want to be around me at the moment.

********************

(OOC: Permission was given to use Drake Green)

The sun has just made its final descent in horizon over Hadicurari Beach.  Climax Control has been off the air for several hours now, and several superstars are celebrating a job well done at tonight's successful show.  The beach side bar is packed with SCW superstars, crew members and fans, and the music is playing rather loudly for this time of night, but no one seems to be complaining.  Misty is seated on the sandy beach several yards away from the beach side bar, minding her own business and quietly thinking to herself.  She has her knees pulled up to her chest, and her shoes are sitting next to her as she has her bare feet in the sand.  

She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath, soaking up the sea air, when someone lightly taps on her shoulder.  Misty nearly jumps out of her skin and, out of habit, goes into defense mode.  She clenches her fist and turns to look at who is standing next to her, surprised at who she sees.

Misty: Mr. Green?  Has anyone ever told you not to sneak up on people like that?  What is that?

Misty glances at the glass that Drake Green is holding out to her.  He has a glass for himself in the other hand as he is looking down at her with a slight smile.

Drake: You look like you needed a drink, so I took the pleasure of bringing you one.  Here, take it.

Misty looks up at him, not quite sure of how to respond or whether to accept the drink.  He keeps the glass held out to her, and the longer he stands there, it is clear he is getting uncomfortable.

Drake: I promise I didn't slip anything in it.  It might be tempting for other people to do that sort of thing, but I'm not like that.  Just take it.

Misty slowly reaches for the glass, taking it out of his hand.  She looks at the liquid, then brings it to her nose and takes a whiff.

Misty: Thank you.  What is it?

Judging by the look on Misty's face, she doesn't really approve of the smell.  Drake slowly takes a seat next to her, and from the corner of her eye, Misty notices him bring his right arm up to his ribs.  Drake holds his own glass up, showing the same colored liquid Misty has in her glass

Drake: Same thing I'm drinking.  Scotch.  I hope you don't mind, but like I said, you look like you need a drink, and Scotch usually does the trick for me.

Misty wrinkles her nose a bit as she stares at the scotch, mulling it over.

Misty: I'm not much of a scotch drinker, but I'm not going to turn down free alcohol.  Thank you again, Mr. Green.

They raise their glasses in a bit of a toast, and Misty slowly takes a drink of the scotch, as does Drake.  He watches the expression on her face and can't help but laugh as she clearly isn't used to the taste of it.

Drake: It's an acquired taste, isn't it?  And please stop calling me Mr. Green.  Mr. Green was my father, and I'm not that old yet.

Misty laughs after the sour expression on her face fades and she looks down at the remainder of the scotch in her glass.  She swirls it around a bit, and goes completely silent, as Drake looks at her, waiting for her to answer.  But he waits a while it seems, as her silence continues.

Drake: You know, you never really struck me as the type of woman to sit out on the beach.  Something must really be bothering you.

Misty turns her head slightly, looking at Drake from the corner of her eye.  She shrugs her shoulders, not sure if she can talk about what is bothering her.  Where would she even begin?  She stares at the scotch for a few more moments before she brings the glass to her lips once again, this time downing the rest of it in one drink.  Drake stares at her, almost impressed.

Drake: Not a scotch drinker, huh?  You could have fooled me.

Misty: I'm not going to waste perfectly good alcohol, Mr. Gre--

Misty stops herself quickly as Drake stares at her, trying not to smile.

Misty: I'm sorry...it's a terrible habit.  One that I'm not entirely sure how I got started on.  Anyway, Drake...I'm not going to waste perfectly good alcohol.  And, thank you for your concern, but I'm just fine.  Or I will be anyway.

Drake: You're a terrible liar, you know that?

Misty turns and stares at him, giving him a confused look.

Misty: I think I covered both bases with my response, didn't I?  I'll be fine, Drake.  You can go back to...

Misty glances back to the beach side bar and the crowd surrounding it.

Misty: ...whoever it is that you're with out there.  I'm just fine being by myself right now, thank you.  Besides, you don't want to get caught hanging out with me.  People would either get the wrong impression, or they would simply alienate you for hanging around someone like me.

She turns back to look at the darkened waters in front of them.  The only light source is that of the moon reflecting off of the ocean water.

Misty: So...I will be just fine.

She places her empty glass in the sand between her and Drake, as she stares out at the ocean.  Drake glances down to the empty glass with a nod.

Drake: I'm pretty sure I get to choose who I hang out around.  I don't care what other people think.  You need another drink.  You get to pick your poison this time.

Misty: Thanks, but no thanks, Drake.  I don't need to drown my sorrows with alcohol.  

Drake: And you said you wouldn't turn down free alcohol?  Seriously, what's bothering you?  If you don't let it out, I have ways of making women talk.

Misty turns her head and looks at him.  He has a confident smirk on his face, and just looking at him makes her laugh.  Drake takes another drink of his scotch.

Misty: Is there any woman that you don't hit on?  Why are you so concerned with what is bothering me anyway?  Can't you just trust me when I say I'll be fine?

Drake answers with a shake of his head.

Drake: No, because you see, you've said that several times already---

Misty: Because it's true.

Drake: Maybe...or maybe you're just trying to convince yourself you'll be fine.  From my point of view, you're in denial.

Misty takes in a deep breath and lets out a long sigh.  She leans her head down, then runs her hands through her hair.

Misty: Yeah, well you would feel the same way if you were in my shoes.  You would be doing the same thing if you had screwed up your entire life over the span of one year, but the thing is, now that I realize how much of an evil bitch I have been, nobody believes that I've changed.  They don't believe I can change.

Drake: I wouldn't say nobody believes it.

Misty: No?  

Drake shakes his head.  He is about to speak, but Misty cuts him off.

Misty: Well forgive me if I have to disagree, and I'll tell you why.  My ex-fiancee, the father of my children, can't stand the sight of me.  He doesn't even want me around our daughter, and I can't say I blame him.  Eden was terrified to be around me, until recently, but she is walking around calling her soon to be stepmother, Mommy Vixen.  My sisters hate my guts, again for good reason.

Drake tries to interrupt Misty, but Misty shakes her head, holds her hand up and continues talking.  Drake just nods, choosing to listen.

Misty: The fans still haven't warmed up to me, though I suppose being teamed with Odette right now helps me out just a bit, but not to her anyway.  Odette hates me, and she will probably never trust me, but once again, I can't blame her because I've made her life hell for almost a year now and I stooped to an all time low when I had Melody Grace kidnapped.  And don't even get me started on the situation with Giani...

Drake:  Whoa, whoa, whoa...Let's rewind a bit, okay?

Misty's stress level continues to rise with each word she says, and Drake finally interrupts her before she says anything else.

Drake: Look, everyone has their lows.  God knows I've had mine.  But what counts the most in situations like yours is how you rebound.  How you bounce back from it all.  Of course no one's gonna trust you.  You don't even trust yourself yet.

Misty looks at him, letting him speak.  She sighs again and looks away.

Drake: As for Giani...I still can't believe you and him were together.  If figured if you were gonna go for the douche with the oversized ego, it would've been me.

Misty looks up, fully prepared to glare at Drake, but he gives her a wink and a sly smile, and she can't hold herself back from smiling, even letting out a bit of a laugh.

Misty: Are you hitting on me, Drake?

Drake: Would you expect anything less?

Misty laughs again and shakes her head, still smiling a bit.

Misty: No.  I suppose not.  Thank you, Drake.  I appreciate it.

Drake: Anytime.  Like I said, there is still hope.  It might take a while, but people will learn to trust you again I'm sure.  Focus on one person at a time if you have to, but if someone still don't believe you after you go out of your way to prove how sorry you are to them...that's on them.  You're off to a good start, though.  Winning the tag team titles with Odette.  Congrats on that.

Misty shrugs and looks out to the moonlight shining down on the ocean.  Behind them, the noise level at the beach side bar gets even louder for a moment, and cheering can be heard, but it dies down moments later.

Misty: Thanks, but like it makes much of a difference right now?  Odette doesn't want to team with me.  How are we expected to defend these titles if we can't even get along?

Drake finishes off the rest of his scotch, looking down at the empty glass.  For a moment he almost looks disappointed, but he sets the glass down next to Misty's empty glass.  He adjusts his position slightly, and gets an uncomfortable look on his face, as he continues holding his ribs.

Drake: Quit over thinking things.  Don't worry about that right now.  Just go out there and prove to her that you can work together to defend those titles, and the rest will happen on its own.  She'll learn to trust you in time.  She'll have no choice if she wants to keep those titles, right?

Misty: I suppose, but I have a feeling I'm going to go blue in the face trying to prove to her that I'm sorry for everything that I've done, and that I actually want to keep the titles in our possession.  I never saw myself as someone who go for the tag team division, but...I don't know...I think I needed these.

Drake nods, then looks down to the empty glasses.  He picks them up, then prepares to get back to his feet.

Drake: That's quite possible.  I'm going to go get us a couple more drinks.  You want another scotch or...

Misty shakes her head.

Misty: I'm good, thanks.  I actually need to get heading back to the hotel and get some rest.  You should try doing the same.

Drake: Is that an invitation?

Misty smiles and shakes her head.

Misty: You wish.  No, I suggest you head back to your own hotel room and get some rest.  You're clearly in pain.

Drake slowly gets back to his feet, wincing as he holds his ribs.  He holds his hand out for Misty, offering her a helping hand back to her feet.  She surprisingly takes his help, and she dusts the sand off of her pants.

Drake: Nah, I'm fine.  I've been in worse shape.  You sure you don't want to join me for another drink?  My treat...

Misty: Thanks for the offer, but no.  I've had enough excitement for one night, and I don't need to be around all that.

Misty points to the crowd at the beach side bar.  She bends down and picks up her shoes.  Drake shrugs disappointedly, but he doesn't pressure her further.

Drake: If you say so.  Next time, you're buying though.

Misty: What makes you think there will be a next time?

Drake: Oh, there will be a next time.  Trust me.

Misty smiles and nods.

Misty: Fair enough.  Well, I will see you later, Drake.  And try and get some rest, okay?

Drake: Who are you, my mother?  

Drake laughs, but Misty is not amused, or at least she doesn't appear to be amused anyway.

Drake: Just kidding...You think about what I said too, okay?

Misty: I will try.  Good night, Drake.

Drake just nods and waves as he turns and walks back towards the beach side bar.  Misty watches him walk up to the bar and order another drink, and she slowly shakes her head before she turns and walks off the other way in the direction of her hotel.

******************************

Wednesday September 4th
St. Thomas

(OOC: Permission was given to use Spike and Vixen)

Another week, and yet another beach side location for the SCW Caribbean Tour.  The SCW superstars have all filtered their  way to the Morningstar Beach area, checking into different hotels for the rest of the week.  Some are living it up and spending as much time on the beach as they possibly can, while others are taking to the ocean for different water activities.  All in all, everyone is relatively occupied.  Everyone, that is, except Misty.

All week, she has been on an emotional roller coaster, dealing with everything that is going on in her life.  The past few weeks, she's tried to prove to people she's not the awful person she has been over the last year and a half...at least not anymore.  She's tried, but hardly anyone believes her.  Even after the unexpected chat she had with Drake Green Sunday night after Climax Control, she is not fully convinced that her attempts to prove she has changed will ever be believed.  So why should she try?

The answer to that is simple; because she is not a quitter.  Everything she has ever done in her life, she has fought for.  She has never given up.  Misty just isn't the type of person to throw in the towel when something is important to her, and this...this is important to her.  It is time for her to make amends for all the bad decisions she has made and for all of the people she has hurt.  It is time to apologize and get the people who were closest to her to trust her once again, and it all begins now...with one person.

Spike Staggs.

It took several phone calls, and almost an hour of calling around, but Misty was able to find out which hotel her ex-fiancee and his new fiancee, Vixen, were staying at this week.  Thankfully there were only a few choices in the area, but unfortunately, it took phone calls to each and every hotel, as the last one on her list turned out to be the right one.  That is where she is headed right now.  She's not sure if Spike or Vixen are even in their room right now, but she has to give it a shot.  She needs to talk to Spike, and she would wait outside the room if she had to.

She gets to the hotel at just the right moment.  As she is walking up to the entrance, luck would have it that Spike and Vixen are walking out, hand in hand.  They all notice one another, though Spike doesn't look very thrilled to see his ex-fiancee, while Vixen looks a little hesitant as well.  They stop just feet away from each other, and though Spike is wearing his signature sunglasses, she can practically feel his glare burning a hole in her skin.

Misty: Talk about perfect timing.

Spike lets out a sarcastic laugh and shakes his head.

Spike: I couldn't disagree more.  Babe, I think we need to switch to a different hotel.

Spike turns and looks at Vixen, assuming that Misty is staying at the same hotel.  Vixen is about to respond, but Misty holds her hand up, interrupting her before she has a chance.

Misty: That won't be necessary, Spike.  I'm not staying at this hotel.

Spike: If you're not staying here, what the hell do you want?  

Vixen now looks at Misty.

Vixen: If you came to see Eden, she's not here.  She's back home with Timmy and your sister...

Misty: I know.  I know she had to get back because school started.  I'm not here to see Eden either.

Spike: Good, we'll just be on our way then.  

Misty: Spike, I came here to see the two of you.  I'd like to talk to you.

Vixen seems rather surprised and Spike lets out a very unamused laugh.  He lifts his sunglasses from off his face, setting them on the top of his head, and he glares at Misty.

Spike: That's not going to happen.  I don't want to listen to anything you have to say, and I'm sure as hell not going to let you stand here and upset Vixen eit--

Vixen: Spike, I'd actually like to hear what she has to say.

Spike turns sharply to look at her, shocked.  Misty is just as surprised, but she gives Vixen a genuine smile.

Spike: What?  Babe, you don't have to...

Vixen: I know, but the sooner we listen to what she has to say, the sooner we can leave.  Let's just get it over with.

Misty: Thank you, Vixen.

Vixen doesn't respond to this.  Spike just looks at her, giving her a look that asks if she is sure.  She nods, and Spike takes in a deep breath and turns to face Misty.

Spike: Fine.  Make it quick, and for your sake, don't upset Vixen in any way, because you don't want to piss me off.

Misty: I know, and that's not what I'm going to do, at least not intentionally.  I'm sure the two of you are still celebrating your engagement, so I will try and make this quick.  

Spike: You're off to a horrible start...

Spike folds his arms across his chest, already very impatient with her.  Misty shakes her head, trying to gather her thoughts.

Misty: Look, I know I'm not your favorite person in the world right now...

Spike: Gee, what ever made you think that?

The sarcasm just oozes through the tone of his voice, and Misty just sighs.

Misty: Spike, please stop interrupting me.  I'm nervous as it is right now, and you're not helping the situation.  Not to mention, you're just extending my time here.

Vixen rubs her hand over Spike's shoulder.

Vixen: I never thought I'd say this, but she has a point.  Try and calm down and let her talk.

Spike closes his eyes and squeezes the bridge of his nose.  He holds his hands up defeated, then looks at Misty, giving her a look that says for her to continue.

Misty: I've had a lot of time to think about things, and over the past few weeks, I've come to realize a lot.  Things have happened over the last couple of months that have opened my eyes and made me see that I'm not the horrible person I made myself out to be over the last year and a half.

Spike can't help but let out a sarcastic laugh.  Misty glares at him, but he remains otherwise silent.

Misty: I've done some awful things that I can't take back.  But, Spike, I want you to know that if there was any way I could go back in time and do everything all over again, I wouldn't make the same mistakes.

Vixen now clearly looks a little uncomfortable as she reaches for the shiny new engagement ring on her finger, and toys with it a bit.  Misty turns her attention to her former rival, quickly glancing down to the ring.

Misty: Vixen, before you go assuming anything, please don't feel worried about this.  I'm not going to try and win Spike back...

Spike: That would never happen anyway...

Misty: I know that.  Just because I wouldn't make the same mistakes that I did, that doesn't mean that we would still be together anyway.  As much as I loved you, and a part of me still does and always will, we weren't meant to end up together.  My point right now is that, if I could go back to our wedding day last year, I wouldn't have ended things the way I did.  I wouldn't have hurt you like I did in front of everyone like that.  I would have found another way...

Misty can see the tension increasing just in the slight tightening of his shoulder muscles.  He is about to respond, but Misty doesn't let him.

Misty: Spike, you saw me at my Grandmother's funeral.  You know how hard it hit me.

Spike: You're point?  You expect me to believe that you're suddenly a changed woman, and that you're being sincere about all this shit?

Misty shakes her head, looking more distraught as each minute passes.

Misty: No, I don't expect you to believe me.  Why should you after everything I put you through?  But I am being sincere.  My grandmother's passing was one major factor in me realizing I had to change.  Then Odette and I won the tag team titles, as much as I should hate to admit this, I needed that.  I needed to win the tag team titles, and it had to be with Odette.

Spike: You're really laying it on thick, aren't you?  You're pathetic.

Misty: Say what you will, but it's the truth.  Every week, something else happens to help keep my eyes open.  Last week, it was finding out about your engagement.

Misty is fighting back tears as she pours her heart out to her former love.  Vixen remains quiet, unsure of what to say, and Spike is doing all that he can to not fall for what he believes are more lies.

Misty: I want you to know that I'm not going to try and pull and stunts to separate the two of you, or get between the two of you, because that is not what I want.

Vixen: Why should we believe you?  How are we supposed to believe that this pleading is sincere?

Misty closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath.  She thinks for a moment, wondering how best to answer that question, before she opens her eyes again, looking directly at Vixen.

Misty: Honestly, I don't know how to answer that, because if the roles were reversed, I'd probably feel exactly as you do, but...

Misty hesitates, as a single tear drops down her cheek and she stumbles on her words.

Misty: ...but the fact is that while I've walked around and caused my daughter nothing but tears and sadness...Vixen, you've brought her the complete opposite.  You've made her laugh and smile, and you've done the same for Spike.  I'd be completely insane to want to take that away from either of them.  I don't know what else I can say or do right now to try and make you see that I'm genuinely sorry for everything that I have done.  

Spike and Vixen stare at Misty, completely baffled and at a loss for words.  They're used to the fact that Misty can put on a good act, but this..this is different.  Misty wipes away at her eyes and then forces herself to smile.

Misty: You might not believe me now, and maybe not even ever, but...I'm not going to give up.  I'm not going back to being that person, because I know now that I can't.  I'm not expecting you to forget, but I'm hoping...I'm hoping with everything I have left in me...that the two of you will eventually be able to forgive me, and that we can all move on from this whole mess.  And not for me...but for Eden, because she's all that matters.  Anyway, I've taken up enough of your time.  I'll leave you two alone now.  For what it's worth...I'm truly sorry.  I can't say it enough.

Misty looks at the both of them one last time, somehow hoping deep down, they'll respond quickly, but they don't.  They stand there speechless and frozen, and Misty nods and turns away.  She quickly heads off back in the direction she came, heading back to her own hotel, as Spike and Vixen turn to face one another.  Spike tries to speak, but he can't.  He runs his hand over his head, knocking his sunglasses to the ground as he forgot they were there.  Vixen bends down to pick them up and hands them to him.

Vixen: Let's not worry about this right now, okay babe?  We've got our engagement to celebrate.

Vixen takes Spike by the hand and leads him away from the hotel, eager to get back to the day the two had planned.

******************************

Redemption: Part 1



Redemption.  The act of redeeming or the condition of having been redeemed.  But what does it mean to redeem?  Well, in my case it means a couple of different things.

To save from a state of sinfulness and its consequences...to make up for...to restore the honor, worth or reputation...

Forgive me for the grammar lesson.  I've never seen much reason in doing such a thing, but there is a reason for my decision to do so this time.  I'm going to expand on it a little bit, and for a purpose, because my purpose in life has now changed...my purpose in wrestling has now changed, and it is all because of redemption.

Ever since my return last year, when I brought the disciples with me, everyone could see how I had changed.  You all noticed the person that I had become in the few months that I was gone after Roxanne and I nearly killed each other.  My transformation was almost baffling to some people, because I had this darkness about me that some people have never seen before.

But it wasn't me.  I couldn't admit it at the time, not that I wanted to anyway, because I was enjoying the fact that I had five people who were around simply to do as I told them..for me to be their leader....their queen.  I'd never had that before, and I wasn't ready to give it up, but deep down, I knew what the darkness was.  I knew that the darkness consuming me, was the darkness that followed The Brothers.

In the end...I had to save myself from making more awful mistakes, and digging myself a deeper grave that I would never be able to get out of.  And I had to do so before it was too late, because if I had realized any of this later, the damage would be irreversible.  Hell, it might be already.

So...I had to get rid of The Brothers.  I had to set them free, and in a sense, set myself free, because if I continued on the path I was headed....No, the path THEY were leading ME down...I'd never be able to come back.  The darkness would consume me forever, and I couldn't let that happen.  The darkness is now gone, and it is as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

But, now begins the real challenge.  The biggest challenge of my life, in fact.  The next step on my journey to redemption.  I have to make up for everything that I have ever done..every person I have ever hurt...one person at a time.  My honor, worth, and reputation will never be restored until that happens.  The process has already begun, and I'm not going to stop.  I will die trying, but one way or another...People's faith in me will be restored.

But...it may be a little challenging to attempt this with my opponent this week.  A woman who I am very familiar with, as I have faced, and defeated, a few times already.  A woman who has her own demons...literally...that she is dealing with.

I am talking to you now, Raynin.

I must admit, I'm sitting here wondering why exactly I need to redeem myself in your eyes.  I'm trying to remember what I've done to you that is so horrible, that I need to make up for it, and quite honestly, the only thing I can think of, I don't feel bad about one bit.  

I have something that used to belong to you, Raynin.  I have something that you worked so hard for, and admittedly, I wanted nothing to do with it until the moment it was in my possession.  I've got MY Bombshell Tag Team Championship belt sitting in my lap at this very moment, and while I am sorry for the pain you must be suffering because you no longer have it, I am NOT sorry that I now have it.  

You're probably thinking that I stole it from you...that Odette and I didn't earn them.  The latter may be slightly true, but if you decide to think for one second that I stole them from you, you would be sadly mistaken.  You have only yourself to blame for losing the tag team titles.  You know that right?  But, I bet you're having a hard time admitting that, aren't you?  Don't worry, though, I've been right where you are, sweetie.

Like you, I tapped out.  I submitted to my opponent, and I lost, and in a sense it cost me a championship.  Just as Ben Jordan...he'll have no problem telling you that.  

But, don't beat yourself up, sweetie.  You can't help it that, between the two of us, I'm simply better than you.  Hell, I'm even better than your tag team partner, Gothika.  I've beaten her, and I've beaten you, so there is no denying it.  When is the last time you held the Bombshell Championship, Raynin?  Can you even remember?

Yeah, neither can I.  But everyone remembers everything I have done...good or bad.  You, on the other hand, are simply forgettable.  Your time as Bombshell Champion is long forgotten, and your time as the Bombshell Tag Team champions will soon be forgotten.  It's a simple fact, Raynin.  

For that I am sorry.  

But I am also sorry, because this Sunday, you will be the first stepping stone on my path to rebuilding my reputation.  You will once again be forced to LOSE to me, because I am NOT going to make it look like me and Odette being the tag team champions is some sort of fluke.  I won't allow it.  I'm going to beat you...I'm going to break you.  

I'm on the road to redemption, Raynin...and you are my first test.  See you soon, sweetie!

**END FEED**