â€Sometimes, it is the imperfections that make us unique. But, God gave us make up to cover those up. I am perfection and that makes me unique all on my own.†–Delia, darling if you must
Breath in… breath out.
Sigh.
For someone who hasn’t had a stitch since she fell off of her bicycle at the age of five, Delia seems to handle the pain rather well. She just takes in soft breaths as Angelica places a hand in Delia’s. She leans down and whispers to her.
Angelica: If you need to squeeze, it’s okay. We’re here for you, sweetheart.
Despite their differences lately, Angelica shows her hidden motherly nature. Delia opens her eyes slowly as the doctor stitches away slowly at her forehead. From behind his hands, Delia gives Angelica a sweet gaze. Angelica brushes one of her faux blonde locks away from her forehead as Delia closes her eyes once more. Liz glares at Angelica, but she doesn’t have the strength to separate herself from Holly’s embrace to comfort Delia herself. This role was usually reversed, and there is a good chance that Liz sees her figure of stability in a vulnerable state as she rests her head against Holly’s ample fake bosom. Tessa is tapping away at her phone, a look of rage spread across her face.
Tessa: I can’t believe that twat got to us that way. Doesn’t she know that I have a medical condition, and being trapped in a room like that could have put me in the hospital again? Like oh em gee…
Veronica: Of course she didn’t think, because she’s so blinded by her obvious jealousy of us that she didn’t see past her own twisted plan to ruin our night.
Angelica: She didn’t ruin our night, okay? Who has all of the Bombshell Championship gold? Is it those busted, ratchet Jealous Janis girls? Is it Amy, Jessie, Vixen, or the rest of the Whogivesafuck Clan? No, so don’t you dare say she ruined our night.
Angelica turns around to glare at Tessa, Liz, and Veronica. She scoffs as Delia pats the back of Angelica’s hand, slowly calming her down. Angelica narrows her eyes at everyone before Delia speaks out in an almost weakened tone.
Delia: It is fine, darling. Z’ey have every right to be mad. She made a statement to all of us, not just me. But she did not act alone. She told me that our mole promised to keep you girls in our room while she locked the door and *air quotes* ended me…
There is a resounding gasp heard throughout the room, followed by short murmurs. Angelica quickly shakes her head, as her face turns a pale shade of white. Holly snaps her fingers as a resounding “Oh hellz no!†escapes her lips. Tessa flips her hair over her shoulders as she begins speaking up as well. Liz stomps her foot, but her words seem drown out by the shouting of the others. Tessa speaks up louder so that she comes out above the rest of the Mean Girls.
Tessa: Kinda funny how someone leaves the room, innit? I mean, maybe she couldn’t handle seeing the results of her dirty deeds. I told ye not to let her sit with us…
Angelica: Oh hell no… are you saying that Mercy is the mole? That’s like so fricken basic and ratchet of you, Tess…
Tessa: Since when is looking out for me sisters “basic and ratchet�
Holly: Hun-ty… you was like the first one with her nose up Delia’s ass when she wanted Mercy to join us. Just cause she’s the new girl don’t mean you get to write her off like that. Trust…
Veronica quietly lets her voice squeak out a passive aggressive objection to Holly’s statement. She does it in a manner that leads most to believe that she is politely trying to keep her opinion to herself, but anyone who knows the First Class Model can figure out that it is only a ploy.
Veronica: I didn’t vote one way or the other, so honestly, I was only outvoted. She is the new girl, and that is exactly why it could be her. I mean, this mole business didn’t start until she came around.
Liz: I know we just won tag titles together, but if you talk about MY sister that way, I swear I will *think about* slapping you… This mole business didn’t start until Mercy joined, and you got JEALOUS that Delia is obviously the leader of Mean Girls now.
Veronica: Oh hunty…
Delia: ENOUGH! If I didn’t already have a fucking headache, you ladies would surely have given me one. I’m having surgery right now. Could we discuss z’is at a later time?
Angelica turns to face the other girls again, quickly sliding her fingers across her throat in a way of telling them to cut it out. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes as she turns back to Delia. She purses her lips like a floodgate, but there is a tiny leak that comes in a backhanded, under her breath, sort of way.
Angelica: Plus, it’s totally obvs that Holly went soft on us. Girl thinks everyone is a poor misguided soul who needs help. Like just leave if you don’t realize you’re better than everyone else… Gawd…
Holly is polite enough to allow Angelica to finish her thoughts, as her mouth gapes open. She lets go of Liz and places her hands on her hips as she bobs her head from side to side with each passing syllable. She allows the silence to linger for a second after Angelica finishes reading her, before breaking the silence with a scoff.
Holly: Ohhhh shit just got real up in here… So…Tessa is Tessa. That’s why everyone thinks she’s the mole, because she’s your self proclaimed lap dog. Real cute. I’m too nice to be a Mean Girl, so it should be me, right? Liz wants to be the leader so bad, she’s willing to throw all us bitches under the bus, right? Mercy is new, so she’s the mole, am I getting this correct ladies? you wanna talk about obvious-nessssss? Okay, let’s break this down so even Jamie Fuckin’ Staggs could understand… Miss Ronnie T and Angie Ang, the girls who started this movement, with my help no less… You ladies call yourself the founders of Mean Girls. You two wallow in the under card for like six months…
Angelica: Excuse yourself, bitch…
Holly: That’s really fucking rude to interrupt me, but since I’m more ladylike than you, and I have a penis, I’m going to forgive you and continue on… You two job out to people like Azz n Class and Trish Newborn for a living, until Ronnie disappears to go to Fat Camp or whatever… She lets you down, Angie, and that big ass redhead breaks your knee cap. So, you decide to manage some girl and try to collect royalties on OUR hard work…
Veronica: This is a lot more insulting that…
Holly turns on her heels and takes a deep breath as she holds a finger up at Veronica. She holds the breath and the pose for a second before tilting her head to the side, making an exaggerated expression of surprise.
Holly: And you excused too, bitch… So Angie finds Lil Miss Thang over there, and decides to cash in on her fame. Good call, honestly. I ain’t gonna lie, I enjoyed some of this too. BUT, then Ronnie T, baby girl… you saw this cash cow, and you returned to Mean Girls. This Nice Girl got dirty in the ring, showing how I do… Liz comes along, and we blow up. We have to hire Tessa for her friendly services. Mercedes comes around, and Mean Girls collects the Bombshell gold, all four belts. So, if you wanna get nasty and talk about who is a fucking mole, why don’t the both of you look a little closer at them compact mirrors, kay?
Angelica: So, Delia is the only one who doesn’t get blamed here?
Holly: She could be the mole, because she’s Delia FUCKING Darling!
Holly does her best Delia impression, shouting in a raspy, shrill tone. This causes Liz to clap her hands before snapping her fingers and looking right at the two of them, shouting out a firm “YASSSS!†as she pats Holly on the back. Veronica slowly removes two strands of hair from her face as she looks over at Angelica, licking the inside of her cheek as she tries to stifle an angry laugh. Before she can say anything, Holly licks at her bottom lip, almost seeming regretful of the hurtful things that she’d just said.
Holly: Sorry bout it.
While the term is meant to add insult to the injury of any dig, this time, there is a slight measure of sincerity to it. Holly looks away from Veronica as Liz wraps an arm around Holly’s waist, pulling her in closely to her.
Liz: You just dropped a truth bomb on these girls. Just because, like… you know that you’re not the mole, that doesn’t mean that you’re not the mole, right?
Tessa: Did ye forget to take yer vitamins today, Liz? That made no sense at all…
Liz: Well, you’re obvs the mole because you’re the most jealous one of the group. You prrrrobably wear a #JealousJanis tank top under your shirts at all times.
Liz waves her head from side to side as she rubs it in. Tessa grits her teeth as she contemplates getting into a battle of wits. Normally this would be her weak point, but with Liz, she could feel like Einstein. However, she looks over to Delia, and respecting her wishes, she purses her lips and turns toward the door.
Tessa: Instead of talking about people behind their backs, I’m gonna go check on Mercedes.
Liz: Oh my gawd, you were the one who accused her in the first place. And people call me dumb? THAT was the dumbest thing said today…
Delia: I’m the mole, you’re the mole… right now, I don’t give an airborne FUCK! SHUT… UP! Ugh, I swear if z’at bitch makes me scar up, I’m suing her for her whole life savings, even if it is only like a hundred dollars…
Angelica nods her head as Delia speaks. Tessa rolls her eyes and then steps out of the room as Liz and Holly walk on the other side of Delia, almost as if she were some sort of fault line between two plates of Earth that are inevitably going to rub together and cause mass destruction within the movement. The doctor finally finishes up the stitching, and he places a bandage carefully over Delia’s forehead. He goes to speak, but Delia waves him off as she sits up slowly.
Delia: I’m willing to bet z’at z’ere is no mole at all. I bet one of our phones is bugged. Would it not be z’e perfect Jealous Janis crime, watching us destroy ourselves? I mean, we’re z’e only ones who can, obviously… For now, I say z’at we step to z’e side, and ignore z’e *air quotes* mole… It is z’e smartest s’ing to do, no?
Before anyone can respond, the door flies open, and an angry Chris Darling enters the room as if he were on a mission. He stomps up next to the bed and places his arms on his hips as he sinks a bit, glaring at the ladies surrounding Delia.
Chris: Why was I not notified of z’is situation sooner? I had to watch my daughter get maimed on z’e internet? Z’at woman is certifiable, and my lawyer will be speaking wi’s Mr. Staggs, Mrs. Underwood, and Mr. Ward promptly…
Delia shakes her head from side to side as a man walks into the room, handing her a line up for the next edition of Climax Control. Though her name is not on it, she simply scoffs and rolls her eyes as we pan out slowly.
[*Fade*]
