[Surf Boys]

 TOYS FOR TATAS

The door to the store known locally as 'Fascinations' slid open with hardly a sound, the customers for this establishment that catered to a more risque clientele with even more risque merchandise, somewhat uneasy and perhaps a little bit anxious (and by anxious, we of course mean excited) at entering, or being seen entering a place such as this.

Radical: Dude! You sure this is the right place?

Narly: Cha! I did the, like, google thing, and it totally directed me here!

Radical: You know how to google?

Narly: I had to google how, but sure!

Radical: Far out!

Narly: Besides, as far as being at the right place, that chick with the see through top TOTALLY gives it away!

Radical: Where!? Where!?

Narly was bumped into roughly as he leaned through the open frame of the entrance to the adult store and he hit the tiled floor with a gust of air bursting from his lungs as his tag team partner, Radical, pushed through and looked about excitedly. He then caught sight of something to his immediate left and his face lit up with excitement.



Radical: Dude! Is this her!?

Narly rolled over onto his back and slowly sat up, rubbing his chest with one eye closed and the other squinted half shut, peeping up at his buddy and tag partner.

Narly: Yah! Do you see any other babes in here with tops like that?

Radical: Sure! There's one over there ... and there! Oh and check out the gazongas on that one THERE!

Narly: Hey! This place looks like that Quik-E Mart we're always buying our munchies at!



Radical: Oh yeah? You ever see one of these at the Quik-E Mart?

Radical asked him, pointing at a mannequin that was wearing a chainmail bra that just barely covered the nipple region.

Narly: Well yeah, but she didn't know I was looking.

Radical: I meant, the outfit.qq

Narly: Yeah. So did I.

The Surf Boys then moved further into the random aisles of Fascinations Adult Toys and Novelties, looking things over closely. Scrutinizing them for what would best serve their united purpose, or so what they believed their united purpose actually was.

Radical: This sure is a strange way to promote a wrestling show, isn't it?

Narly: Definitely! But it is Sin City Wrestling and Mark and Christian promoting it, so in a way... it makes sense.

Radical stopped for a brief moment to turn and just stare at his partner. Narly shrugged and looked around, holding his arms out.

Narly: Well, it does! Toys For Tatas? Who loves a good set of tatas more than ol' Hot Stuff himself?

Radical looked up in thought (laugh it up readers, I know you want to!) and scratched a finger in his scalp before he snapped his finger and smiled broadly.

Radical: Us, that's who!

Narly looked at Radical and smiled, and both Surf Boys bobbed their heads rapidly in excited agreement.

Narly: Well said my fine surfer bro, well said! Nothing best describes the season of giving than a giant pair of...

A young clerk, buxom and comely in every sense of the word, walked up and smiled.

Clerk: Can I help you?

Narly turned and his eyes fell just below the neck.

Narly: ...Tatas.

Clerk: I beg your pardon?

Radical: Oh no it's cool. No need to apologize. We're just having a look around.

The clerk nodded and clapped her hands together, ready and eager to help make a sale.

Clerk: Well then, can I help you find anything in particular?

Narly looked around before he himself answered.

Narly: Yeah, um... we're here for Toys For Tatas.

The clerk nodded knowingly, something finally making sense with these two nitwits... or so she thought at the time.

Clerk: I see. Okay, we can definitely help you two there. Now! What sort of toys do you like to see your boyfriend here wear?

Narly: Well I've always been partial to him in... waitaminutewhatwasthat?!

Narly gaped and Radical shook his head vigorously, making that comical sound with his lips.

Narly: Come again?

Radical: Dude! Watch the language in front of the lady!

Narly looked from Radical to the clerk and shuddered.

Narly: Hello! Awkward most bodacious of babes! This isn't for us! It's for a charity!

Clerk: A ... charity.

She repeated, clearly having a difficult time in believing these two were anything but what their actions at the time had her assuming. Narly and radical both bobbed their heads, smiling and nodding to get their point across.

Radical: Totally! The boss men got this event going where they want everyone to bring Toys For Tatas. They say whoever does, gets in free and easy.

The clerk blinked, clearly getting in even deeper with this colossal misunderstanding.

Clerk: Wow. You guys must work for one wild ride.

The Surf Boys smiled and high fived one another.

Narly: Nothing wilder than the heavy hitting action with a couple other wild dudes!

Radical: `Cept for maybe the wild waves! Nothing better than riding the wave up and down and up and down and...

Narly: I think she gets the picture, bro dude man!

Clerk: Unfortunately I think I do.

Radical: Oh good. I was thinking I'd have to draw you a picture.

He blinked and then shook his head.

Radical: And I'm not sure how.

By now the clerk was rubbing a hand hard down her own face, clearly out of her element, even in a workplace such as this. She cleared her throat.

Clerk: Well, I'll just let you gentlemen browse through our store and if you need any help, just let me know, `kay?

Both Radical and Narly waved all friendly like toward the clerk as she beat a hasty retreat to the relative safety behind the sales counter. In the meantime, our Surfer heroes seemed to have cooked up a bit of a 'battle plan' to get this done even faster.

Radical: Tell you what! You go check out the videos, see if there's anything on Tata Toys!

Narly: Right! How about you?

Radical: I'll look on these shelves and the wall. There are books and they might have a few tits, tips! I meant... tips.

Narly rolled his eyes.

Narly: Suuuure you did, bro. Sure you did.

The two then separated but both continued their conversation, their voices carrying over the mostly empty shop at this early period of the day.

Narly: So you'd think our opponents would be here too, wouldn't you?

Radical: You'd think! Jordan's a smart one! You'd think he'd have had the same brilliant idea as we did.

Narly: That I did.

Radical: And that other guy? He's the one Despy dude says is a figment of our imagination?

Narly: That's the one! This is going to be WAY cool! We've never wrestled a fig newton of our imagination before! Ben Jordan! He's got a cool name for a guy that's not real!

Radical: Most fantasy guys do. I asked Christian about him last week.

Narly: Yeah? What'd he say?

Radical: That he had a few fantasies that involved Ben Jordan too.

Narly: Far out! Hey! Dude! Guess what I just found?

Radical: What, dude?

Narly hurried over, carrying a DVD case.

Narly: It's one of those movies Mark Ward made before he became a wrestler!

Radical: Bodacious discovery! What's it called?

Narly looked at the cover and read...

Narly: The British Are Coming.

Narly frowned, then shook his head and looked at Radical.

Narly: Must be some kind of historical movie.

Radical: Well, get it. It never hurts to broaden the mind for such wise bro dudes such as ourselves.

Narly: Cha!

Radical: Hey check out what I found when you called me for that astounding find.

Narly: Is it that edible underwear?

Radical: Better!

He held up a paperback book with an elaborately drawn cover.

Radical: Its called the Kama Sutra.

Narly: Hey I know her! That's the big bodacious babe that was mowing down all the chicks in WWE!

Narly grabbed the book from Radical and opened it up to somewhere in the middle, then let loose a shriek and dropped the book to the floor.

Radical: Dude! What is it!? What's wrong!?

Narly: My eyes! I just pictured her in one of those positions! I need Ajax for the eyes!

Radical: Shake it off bro! Shake it off! I need you for that match against Jordan and Imaginary Ben!

Narly: And the Battle Royal!

Radical: Right! We can win the tag team match and then win the battle royal!

Narly: Can we both win that?

Radical: Why not? Then we can go on and win the big one!

Radical looked over to the perplexed clerk and pointed with a smile.

Radical: There's nothing better than getting hold of the big one, is there?

Clerk: That's always been my personal mantra.

Radical looked at Narly and gave him a thumbs up.

Radical: I like her!

The Surf Boys then moved down another aisle...

Narly: Check it out! Battery operated swords!