”You need to take this serious, Jamie. I mean, unless you don’t want to win, then you will have a big, pissed off monster on your tail. Do you want that?”Jamie stands near the camera as it fades inside of his hotel room in Los Angeles. Jamie is adorned in a black vest over a white T-shirt, and black pants with strategically placed rips and a black leather belt boasting steel bullets decoratively around and a black stocking cap. He takes a step back with a bit of a smirk on his face, shaking his head in negative response. He taps his chin as he looks to the figure off camera. He reaches his hand out of view, moving it very quickly about before he laughs and nods his head in approval. The deep, subtle voice mixed with the occasional southern twang speaks up once more.
”You seriously want to do this? I don’t think it will have the effect you are looking for, and…””I wanna do this, coz I don’t think it’s fair. Rage gets a group of people who support him even though he’s a big pissed off ape who doesn’t appreciate it. I just wanna feel like I belong in the Raging Dicks.””What? No, you really decided on naming your team… Raging Dicks? But, but… No, it’s pretty fitting actually. Does he know?”Jamie takes another step back, before turning to face a black leather sofa placed awkwardly in the middle of the mid-sized room. He dashes forward, leaping onto it. He misjudges his projection just a bit, and topples the couch over backward. The off camera voice chuckles loudly and the pale masculine hand points forward toward Jamie and his misfortune.
”Dude, don’t make me get up and beat the crap outta you. It’s only funny when there is a camera rolling.””But, there is a camera rolling, so I can laugh. Even if there wasn’t, I would still laugh at you.”The man states the preceding very matter-of-factly. Jamie lays in place, motionless on the back of the overturned couch until his hand reaches up into view to point to the off screen man.
”How is this for funny? Camera dude, turn around and get a load of that lovely sight standing next to ya.”The cameraman obediently turns to the left to catch a glimpse of Spike Staggs, however awkwardly dressed he might be. He is wearing a wig of medium length black hair, styled in layered spikes out to the sides, emerald green contacts, and a spray tan on his face. He is wearing a replica pair of Synn’s wrestling trunks as well as a black trench coat hanging loosely from his otherwise pale physique. Spike looks down at the ground, fidgeting with his foot against the white carpeting. He grits his teeth together before walking over to the couch, extending a begrudgingly yet helpful hand to his brother. He pulls Jamie up, and then the two turn the couch back over to it’s proper upright position.
”Not so funny, is it? And yes, Rage knows… Well, um, I called him a Raging Dick in the ring during our match. But it fits. The big bad bastard will love it in time. Trust me, he will come around eventually.”Spike sits down on the couch, sitting as far away from Jamie as he can at this point. He tries to avoid eye contact at first, leaning over only to punch his brother in the arm before causing Jamie to do it back. Spike slaps his across the top of his head and then leans over to block Jamie with his legs.
”Dude, you are so immature!””Uhh, me?! You are the one who wanted to play dress up to have a strategy talk. Of course, I’m the only one who went along with it because I am a nice brother…””Oh yeah! I almost forgot.”Jamie pulls out a flesh colored bald cap featured in the last webisode of Dumbass University, and he pulls off his stocking cap to place it awkwardly over his head once more. He grins for a moment, before wiping his hand down his face, as if to rub on an angry expression to complete the “costume”. He does his best impression of a Rage voice, deep and unrelenting.
”Hey ya stupid fuck. How do I look? Do I look like I got a stick up my ass? Everything pisses me off, including that fucktard, Jamie Staggs. He’s a stud though. Me and Casey Williams feud over that sexy slice.”Spike gets a sly grin, shaking his head in a sense of false surprise. He rubs his chin and looks back over to the camera, then to Jamie as he seems to be stewing in anger, gritting in teeth as he pulls a sandwich out of his pocket, throwing it at the floor.
”You stupid sandwich! I’m gonna kick your ass…””So, there was a point to this, right? I mean, I went along with this because you said you needed my help to get serious and prepared for this big match. You are facing some big names, Jamie.””You just said the biggest name in this tournament. Jamie Fucking Staggs. Who else is there that counts? Rage is the next biggest, and he is on my team. Do you think there is anyone I should worry about? The Staggs name is a real legacy, and everyone should tremble at it.”Spike’s grin gets wider as he quietly stares at his brother who is being serious in his own way. Spike tries to think of a delicate way to follow Jamie’s statement up, but there is no easy way to say this to your brother.
”Well, before I address the big names statement, let me just say this. You are my little brother, and I will always love you. But… You’re a dumbass. You have made your career out of making a joke of yourself and everyone around you. There is a unique… bluntness that accompanies your name. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but it is what it is.”Jamie pouts for a moment, exceeding the limits of his acting abilities, Spike sees that it is genuine. Spike sighs, preparing to apologize, but Jamie quickly cuts him off.
”How is that knee, ya jerk?”Spike grits his teeth, but quickly smirks in an arrogant display.
”How is your pride after being defeated by Nikki Silver?””How is your Mr. Mom apron? You taking care of it? You taking it to the dry cleaners along with your panties and self respect?””How is your ego after Mark slammed it into a wall, and then over the catering table? Did it get a piece of that delicious four foot sandwich?””How is your… face? Coz, it looks… stupid. Shut up dude. Get back in character. And cross your legs. Your percentage sign is grossing me out.”Jamie shields his eyes in disgust as he turns away from Spike who flashes a look of pride as he leans forward, putting it out there more for a second. He then obliges by covering himself with the trench coat. As he ties it, he pulls out a manila folder from the coat. He opens it up to pull out a picture of Casey Williams. He holds it up for Jamie to see, eliciting a cocky scoff from his brother.
”That dude isn’t even a concern. I flamed the dude, and he said that I was right, and that my impression was spot on. He knows that he is a bigger joke than me, and I try to be a joke as you so bluntly told me, asshole. I’ve seen him improve, but I’m not convinced he is ready for a good old-fashioned Staggs ass kicking.””I wouldn’t be so sure. He’s a big guy, he’s been doing this a while, and he has a lot of tag team experience. The only tagging you have done before this tournament was with me in UCW. I wouldn’t take him so lightly. With some training, he could be in the Heavyweight picture within months.””If he is Heavyweight material, then I’m the Queen of England. This dude needs to learn the art of trash talking, because he doesn’t do it very well. I know he is a powerhouse, but I’m not worried about him. Call it cocky, but I’m really not. I’m not worried about Blade Alexander either.”Spike gently sets the picture of Casey down on the couch, along with a few pages of info paper clipped to the back. He pulls out the next begrudgingly, revealing the aforementioned Blade Alexander. Spike’s eyes light on fire as he stares at the picture, but he wants to look out for his little brother, keeping him from being too cocky.
”Blade is no stranger to the ring either, brother. He is one of the top guys that SCW has to offer right now. As much as I would love to be you for a match so that I could show him what a mistake he made making ill mentioning of my fiancée, I think it would be in your best interest if you didn’t make the mistake of underestimating him.””Bro, he is a non issue! The dude is an over glorified, half-assed wrestler with a fine ass manager who is more familiar with the phrase “dick’d” than I am. He is downright useless. Between him and Casey, I’m more worried about Casey. Blade is way to arrogant, and I saw all the mistakes dude made last week. He tells everyone he is awesome, so they think he is. I’m not impressed. I said a lot about him on the web cast last week, and he stayed quiet like the little bitch boy he is. Over one week, and still not a word. At least Casey had the balls to make a public comment on me. The more I hear people say Blade’s name, the more I want to beat the fuck out of him. I mean, I wanna do it a little bit for Misty, but I just want to show him that he isn’t all he’s cracked up to be. Rage won’t let me, but I’m gonna get my time in the ring with him. Unlike him, I back my words up. I might be a joke, but I got one bad ass punch line.”Jamie pulls a lighter out of his pocket and he offers it to Spike with a smile. Spike looks at it for a moment, contemplating it. He pulls the attached facts and sets it on top of Casey’s photo, and then he accepts the Zippo, sporting a flaming ace of spades. He slowly uncovers it with a devilish grin and then gives it a few clicks until the wick ignites. He watches the flame before bringing it toward the lower corner of the photo. Jamie coaches him along with his own goofy smile. Spike watches as the photo burns, melting away at the image of Blade. The flaming ashes fall onto the ground where Spike smothers it out with his foot. Jamie high-fives Spike who is almost shaking with an intense satisfaction, short lived as it might be. He reaches into the folder and pulls out a photo of Old Skool. He faces it toward Jamie.
”Who the hell is that? Is he even in this tournament, because I don’t even know who that is.””His name is Old Skool. He is a new wrestler who replaced Kid Karma after Wyatt Peterson attacked him last week. All I could find on him was that he had a single tag match where his partner turned on him, and he defeated Virgil on the last Climax Control.””That’s it? Why should I worry about this guy? I don’t mean to be cocky, but seriously? Why don’t they just had me and Rage the championships after we beat Blade and Casey? Don’t put this guy through this in his second match in SCW. He might not come back after the beating he gets from me and Rage.”Spike sets the lonely photo, without any facts attached, over Blade’s pages of information. He pulls another from the folder while he looks at Jamie with his rebuttal.
”Just because he is an unknown, that doesn’t mean anything. We don’t know anything about him, and that is a disadvantage. Not to mention, he is teamed with Bo Dreamwolf. I don’t know a great deal about him, but all I need to know to worry is that he has been personally trained and managed by Austin Parker.”Jamie grabs the photo from Spike, taking a good look at it, shrugging his shoulders as he flips through the few pages of facts attached.
”So? What’s the big deal about Austin Parker? Dude was a good wrestler, but why should I worry about it when I’m facing Bo?”Spike blinks for a moment, honestly shocked by the density of his brother. He struggles to handle the reality that he brother is fairly clueless about Austin Parker, blinking his eyes a few times before he leans forward, careful not to show his “percentage sign”.
”Okay, did you ever watch a single GXW show? I mean, you were there, but, did you ever pay attention to a damned thing? Austin Parker was the manager of a little stable. You might have heard of it. Generation X-Treme. It boasted such great names, whether I would care to admit it. Names like “Hot Stuff” Mark Ward. Nick Jones, Jordan Williams, Misty, and this guy named Spike Fucking Staggs! They pretty much owned any opposition, all under the leadership and guidance of Austin Parker. If it weren’t for Austin, I would still be wrestling Hardcore matches, or in the card opener. Most of this company doesn’t know it yet, but I’m going to own the competition. And it is all thanks to Austin Parker. So, that alone is the biggest reason you should be afraid of facing Bo Dreamwolf. If that isn’t enough, check out the pages upon pages of facts I printed up on my way here. His days in GCW alone show…””GCW sucks! GXW rules!”Spike shakes his head in disbelief as Jamie flashes a sort of apologetic smile at the camera with a wink before returning his gaze to a shocked Spike.
”Hey, you gotta give me points for random old school references… No? Too soon? Bah, whatever. So, Bo Dreamwolf is a big scary guy who put out a promo calling me ‘scatter brained’? The nerve of him. Well, let me tell you something, dude. I resemble that remark! If you are lucky, we will meet in the ring, and I will show you just how scatter brained I really am.””I’m sure he doesn’t need that to convince him, little brother.”Jamie stares at him for a second before noticing the ever present smile has gotten just a bit wider. Jamie takes this as a prompt to smack his brother against the side of his head before darting off to the other end of the room. Spike clinches his fists before he settling down. He collects the photo of Bo Dreamwolf and places it on the pile of photos and facts of Jamie’s other opponents before reaching into the folder once more to pull out a packet with a photo of Wyatt Peterson on the front of it.
”Wyatt Peterson is another one I wouldn’t take lightly.”Jamie peaks his head from out of a closet, snickering at the reference to Wyatt. He pops his head back into the closet before exiting it with a cowboy hat on his head, over the bald cap, and a horsey stick between his legs. He brandishes a can of shaving cream before screeching at the top of his lungs.
“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Howdy partner! Ah’m makin’ that there ref’rence tuh the tahhhm ah got Dick’d by that thar Jamie Staggs feller. Ah stood thar n’ took it like the big ole punk ah am.”Jamie flails his arm around, spraying shaving cream in his path of destruction, heading over to Spike, where he sprays a mustache on his face. Spike sits there, fuming quietly as he stares a hole through his brother. Jamie tosses the horse down to the ground and then throws the hat in the air, letting it fall to the ground. He drops the can with his almost identical Staggs smile.
”I should have known you couldn’t be serious for ten minutes. We can stop right now, turn the cameras off, and I will kick your ass the way I do in Halo or Call of Duty. You get this one free pass. The next time, I will beat the fuck out of you, okay?”*Jamie nods*>font color=yellow> “Okay, I will let you finish. Wyatt Peterson, managed by Tom Dudely, is a new face to the wrestling world. He hasn’t won a match up until the last Climax Control. He is from Shitfuck, Texas… Tell me why I should care, since I just can’t see it. You made me give Bo Dreamwolf a second though, but that’s one out of…”
Jamie counts on his fingers, taking a moment to do the math as if it were a complex math equation that required room for work. He bites his bottom lip before placing his finger in the air as the light bulb goes off. Spike waits with a raised eyebrow, intrigued.
”I don’t know. It’s still just one person. What about Wyatt should I care about? He has been pinned, disqualified, received the one and only draw against some no name kid, and he got Dick’d like a champ. Is that about right?””Well… Tom Dudely and I have history. We’ve worked together in four promotions, and we have faced off in some pretty epic battles.””In other words, he kicked your ass a time or two?”Spike grimaces a bit, trying to be serious, until Jamie’s influence rubs off on him and he slaps Jamie hard across the face. Jamie pauses in shock as Spike folds his arms across his chest. He looks over at Jamie with a serious look.
”I beat him too. Shut up.””So, Tom Dudely manages the kid. He isn’t doing a good job, coz the dude isn’t making a real impact. Tom might be a good wrestler if he beat you, but that doesn’t mean Wyatt is. I hope he wins the first round just so that I can see how he handles his business with me. So far, from the facts, the only impact he’s made is from interfering in matches, and blindside attacks. I’m not above that from time to time, but I have real victories under my belt. I nearly had the GXW World Championship. What does this kid have? A dry cleaning bill for his cowboy hat.”Spike sighs, shrugging his shoulders as if he is unsure of how to argue his point. He places the picture in the pile, opening the folder with the biggest packet of information attached. Before Jamie even sees the photo, he uses his basic deduction skills and a smile appears on his face. He rips the folder from Spike’s hand. Before looking at it, he looks directly at the camera.
”This dude got me a big list of accusations on my twitter account. I blame him for the sack of shit that hit the fan. I got a lot of hell, being called a homophobe, gay-basher, bigot, and lots of interesting combinations of curse words that I never woulda thought could go together. I had LGBT community leaders criticizing me for the comments I made on my webisode of Dumbass University last week. It got blown outta proportion by Nightmare, and I took a lot of crap for it. In every bit of seriousness, I gotta clear this up. First off, Sean. I want to apologize for giving you the idea that I discriminate against anybody, especially the LGBT community. Even though I am not gay, bi, or trans, I support the community and everything it does to spread awareness in society. The comment that I made last week, you blew out of proportion, and a lot of close friends flamed me… However, one fellow wrestler did flame you for your lifestyle, and shame on him. I’m sorry it appeared that I was doing the same.”Jamie leans forward, still serious. Spike is surprised at the level of seriousness from his brother, but both of them work with the community in any way possible, so he allows his brother a moment on his soap box.
”Last week, I mentioned that we don’t want to hear about your uncle forcing you to turn tricks. Male tricks, as it happened to be. I meant it just as that. We are employed by Sin City Wrestling, not ABC, NBC, CBS, or T4. This isn’t some unmentionable world wrestling promotion who likes to sue for mention of their name, for that matter. This is wrestling. There is drama, of course, but its current things. I wasn’t commenting on your lifestyle, because, believe me. A guys’ gotta do what he’s gotta do from time to time, whether it be with a concenting adult man, woman, or both, or your hand… Uhhh, basically what I’m trying to say is that I wasn’t attacking your lifestyle. I was attacking you for being an actor. Go to WW*BEEEP* if you want to rely on your marketability. Make room for the real wrestlers. If you want to know what one looks like, beat Bo and Old Skool, and you will find out. Oh, and I will be there too!”Jamie’s eyes widen and he chokes back a laugh. He slowly sets the folder on top of all of the photos of his potential opponents. The camera fades out on his face.
<img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v674/GXWSpikeStaggs/Jamiescene2.png>Jamie paces back and forth in his now empty hotel room, still dressed the same, minus the bald cap. While thinking no one is in there, he pulls out his cell phone and thumbs through his contacts, slowly as he contemplates. He walks over to the nightstand by his bed, and he picks up a bottle of Budweiser, and chugs down the remainder of it, tossing the bottle to the floor before approaching the name he was looking for. He clicks on “Rage” and looks at the number, then more intensely at picture icon before he finally dials the number. He places the phone to his ear and listens as it rings and rings.
”You have reached the voice mail box for…”Jamie hangs up and presses his phone against his waist, ready to slide it into his pocket. He pauses, and then looks around the room as a sly grin appears on his face. He pulls the phone back up and dials the number once again. He waits along with the ringing before bouncing onto the bed, kicking his feet up to relax. He tucks one hand behind the back of his head, allowing his vest to open, showing off red lettering that reads, “Raging Dicks” with a picture of Rage’s signature angry face next to Jamie’s dumbfounded smile signature expression. Behind these images is a crudely inked out version of the two raising their hands up for their first tag team victory together.
”Hello? Who the fuck is this?””Hi, this is Ronald with Funtastic Sweepstakes Company, and I would like to offer you a chance at two hundred and fifty THOUSAND dollars. May I have your e-mail address?””Yeah, it’s [email protected] “Jamie covers his mouth as he chuckles, trying to cover it up, kicking his feet in amusement. He can’t control it, and his laughter bursts through the barrier. Jamie leans off of the edge of the bed and then he wipes at his eyes.
”Dude, that’s frickin’ funny! You and me make a great tag team. Raging Dicks!””Jamie? How the fuck did you get my number?””Nevermind that dude. I’m hurt that you didn’t say thank you for the awesome shirt I had delivered to you. I worked really hard on it.””Well it looks like shit, kid. I’m busy right now dealing with this mess, so I don’t really have time for your crap.””You suck, dude. We are gonna win these titles, so we’re gonna be a team for a while now. I’m trying to work with you to make us the most dominant tag team here. Me! I’m being serious about this. Take a second to think about that. This is a crazy bromance just waiting to happen!”There is a pause on the other end, but no click, leading Jamie to believe that Rage is still there. He pulls the phone away to make sure Rage is on the line before he opens his mouth to speak, however he is cut off finally.
”I told you I’m busy right now. What the hell do you want me to say? Do you want me to play your bullshit games in your Dumbfuck College thing? After you Dick’d me last week, I could care less about being a team with you. I’m going to get these tag titles whether you are there or not. I have a score to settle with Blade, and you better stay out of the way… Damn teddy bears!””Ohhh, you’re trippin’ off of the hanging teddy bears still? That was like, a lame imitation of getting Dick’d And you know who it was, right?””I think it was Goth. Everyone else thinks it was Casey Williams, maybe even Blade.”Jamie perks up at the mentioning of Casey and Blade. He stands up from the bed and grabs another beer, setting it against the edge of the nightstand where he cracks the top of with the palm of his hand. He takes a sip before resuming his conversation.
”Casey isn’t capable of thinking something like that up. He can only think in detail about the meal he’s going to get. I don’t know Goth, but I did see him leave the arena after he made his lame speech. I would believe it was Blade, but honestly? You make it hard to not hate. I’m just a very tolerant person, otherwise I would have laid you out already.””You could try, you smelly bastard, but you wouldn’t do shit! Ooooh, you are so damned lucky that you are on my team or else I would lay YOU out at December to Dismember.””Whatever dude. You said that four years ago, but you got laid out… Anyway, I’m not trying to fight you. I’m trying to work as a team, maybe the only team with a real connection in this tournament. You pay close attention at the Super Card, because I’m gonna do you, and The Sins, a favor, since they helped Kittie out. But more importantly, I’m gonna make a statement about us as a team, because you know one thing about me is always true. I’m not afraid to go there. I’m not afraid of putting some shit talkin’ asshole in his place. I’m gonna show you why you can trust me to have your back no matter what, even if you don’t have mine. I’m just like that.”There is another pause as Jamie lifts his beer to his lips, taking a long, deep sip. He swallows and sighs in pure delight before he sets it back down on the nightstand, walking toward the door as there is a knock.
”I know you have something up your sleeve. You always do. If you disrespect me, or The Sins, it will be your end, do you hear me?””Just wear your shirt. Once I see you have on our tag team shirt, I will make sure you see that you can trust me. Hey, I gotta go though. Be prepared to witness the most epic Dick’ing SCW has ever seen!”Jamie opens the door slowly, but the person outside of it barges in quickly. It’s Kittie! She is wearing a black corset with purple lace trim and a short leather skirt. Jamie’s eyes widen as he backs up with her hand gripping his shirt, pushing him. He chuckles as she backs him up against the bed, her eyes wide with anger.
”Did you give MISTY the key to our apartment?! Did you? Because I got an e-mail from OUR computer just now!”Jamie’s eyes lower to the ground in a bit of shame. He sighs, and then nods his head as he looks into her wide eyes. She grits her teeth at him in a fit.
”Yes…”She shoves him down on the bed and jumps on top of him, wrapping her hand around his throat. His eyes bug out, but he doesn’t choke. Kittie leans down in his face.
”Good! You are such an obedient little shit. You get a reward tonight…”Kittie leans down, kissing Jamie deeply before pulling back just slightly. She licks his lips before leaning back again, releasing his neck. She reaches behind to loosen up her corset. The camera zoom in on Jamie’s face, ecstatic smile and all. He looks deep into the camera, smacking his hands together like a slap.
”Hell yeah! Schwing!!”--={CENSORED}=--
--={END TRANSMISSION}=--
