Last Week
Quiet.
It’s so damn quiet.
It’s 4am and I’m wide awake. Wide awake and sober. Now how in the fucking hell did this happen?
I had so much to drink after we got back from the arena that I don’t even remember much of the rest of the night. I’d like to say the reasons for my actions were just the pain of getting my ass kicked by Sam and Sierra....but honestly it wasn’t. I have been very much mentally beating my own ass for no reason. It just wasn’t my time yet. I tried, I failed....so why the hell does it hurt?
Looking around the darkened room, just a glimmer of the city lights coming through the curtain, I sit up slowly because the last thing I need is to have the whole world spin out from under me. I have enough bullshit going wrong, I don’t need to be throwing up on the bed or Mal, who is passed out to the world. I don’t want to wake him up so I try to carefully slide out but just before I get to my feet I feel a hand reach out.
“And just where do you think you’re going?” I look back and I see through the dark his blue eyes staring at me.
“I just wanted to find my phone and get some water. I’m cotton mouthed like crazy.”
“If you’d look, everything is right there beside you, love. Along with the 3 backup bottles on the floor. Bring your ass back here.”
This was not the first time he’s had to deal with me like this, he knows the routine, he picks but he cares and if he knew I told you this, he’d probably kill me. I don’t fight him though and just curl back into him. I just lay there in silence in his arms. “I can hear that brain of yours. You are having amazing matches, you know that? You are impressing a lot of people....”
“I just can’t seem to fucking win when I need too. I’m pathetic.”
“Hey now, no you’re not. You didn’t need to win this. You were given a chance to step up and drew one hell of a tough challenge having to take on Sam and Sierra like that. That is no easy task and someday you’ll get there.”
I just look up at him and smirk, “I still feel like I’m missing something. I don’t know...maybe I’m just too nice sometimes.”
“Well, the only person I have ever seen you actually hate is the sick twisted mother fucker that put you through hell. Which only makes me wanna stay on your good side because you are just plain scary when you honestly want to try and hurt someone the way they hurt you.”
I can’t help but laugh a bit rather bitterly and curl into him because that whole situation brings up so many issues, “Yeah well, after he kidnaps and keeps you from your family and tries to fuck with your mind, all bets are off. But something Sierra said kinda stuck with me.” I can hear his eyes roll, “Quit it...”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“No, but I heard those eyes roll in the back of your head. I know you and her don’t see eye to eye but at least let me get it out before you go all Malachi.” I just hear him sigh in defeat, “But she said something along the lines of how nice the women are to each other. Like no one wants to be hated but just kiss each others asses. I mean in a way, she’s right. We all for the most part don’t hate each other....except for maybe Bobbie...especially since she took it upon herself to attack everyone on the show tonight.”
“Which I cannot wait to see how you girls deal with that.”
“OH It’s coming...but knowing what is coming next week, where I have to face a woman that pretty much watched me grow up and a girl that has been nothing but sweet to me since she joined SCW....” I just shrug, “I guess I just need to find that inner bitch.”
“Oh, you mean the same one that keeps me on my toes, sasses me non-stop and forces me into having dinner at your mum’s next week?” and he is in full on laugh mode.
“HEY! You like mom!” I just push myself up and look at him in shock
“Yeah I do, your step-father however, does not like me at all, no matter what I do. And with sharp instruments around the table, I feel like I need kevlar going into that house.” he just smirks “BUT! I do it because I need to experience this whole Thanksgiving thing and I know if I don’t I’m never going to stop hearing it from you unless I tie you up, put duct tape on your mouth and throw you in the closet. AND EVEN THEN, you will find some way to escape and drag my ass there kicking and screaming.”
I just glare, “Better believe it Oscar. But I see what you are saying. My tencasious ass, when I put my mind to something, always finds a way to make it work. And if it’s any consolation, after dinner everyone is going to be so exhausted from stuffing themselves stupid we can escape early and maybe go get some shopping done?”
He just shakes his head and just deadpans “I’d rather not...”
“I knew you were going to say that. So when we get home tomorrow....good thing mom brought over all those boxes, we can even get the decorating done.” and Mal just groans.
“Why haven’t I smothered you in your sleep yet?”
“Cause you looooooooooove me and all my crazy nerdy ways!”
And there’s the sigh of defeat and I just laugh and curl up to him again with a giant smile on my face as he kisses the top of my head.
“Yeah, you still love me.”
He was right, no matter what I seem to find a way to get what I want in any situation when I really really want it. Either that or he just proved that he is a complete softy when it comes to me. Either way I can really wear a person down with just the sheer anticipation of how relentless I can be. I can be a straight in pain the ass about it. ....maybe I can use that same evil power that has been bestowed upon me to actually battle a woman I adore and a sweetheart.
Can I really be that bitch?
Mean Streak Equals Win Streak & Title Shot?
3 days later
I mean, Bobbie Dahl got herself noticed when she started pissing people off...but I’m not that kind of person. LOOK if I have a problem with you, I’m gonna tell you straight to your damn face. But either fucking way, I may curse like a sailor, I may give people (mostly Mal) a barrell of shit most of the time, but I am not a mean person. ....until you piss me the fuck off or go after my family.
“SWEET FUCKING CHRIST! How the hell is your mom friends with this woman?!?!”
We’re out in public....in the middle of a major shopping area....and that was very fucking loud.
“What? Let me guess, Candy?”
“SHE THINKS I’M THAT SHITHEEL SECURITY JACKASS THAT LOOKS LIKE MY BROTHER!”
“I told you Candy is different. She’s sweet...just not...all there? This is the same woman that kept putting a dollar into a change machine, thinking it was a slot machine, and screaming she won every time it gave her 4 quarters. She’s harmless, she doesn’t mean to be insulting.” I hand Mal some bags to make him stop looking at his phone, “Someday she’ll get it right and you’ll almost be insulted that she did because you got used to the whole other thing. Don’t worry about.”
“You mean she’s the idiot version of the dweeb Spinelli?”
I just sorta shrug, “Sorta?”
He just looks down at all the bags. “Why couldn’t we just order this shit online? It would have been a whole lot fucking easier.”
“Because I don’t Christmas shop online unless I cannot find what I’m looking for someone. Amazon gets enough of my business, at least I can support local shops.” He’s grouchy, he’s irritated. YUP! SHOPPING WITH MAL! ....should make this shit into a series. “Look, I know you are bored, I just got one more shop to go into and I promise we’ll go home and you can work your frustrations on a punching bag.”
“Promise?”
“Promise, go find coffee, text me the location and I’ll meet you there in, 15 minutes...30 tops.”
“Bells...” That warning tone.
I just give him a kiss, “15.”
With that we part ways and I drag myself into the next shop just browsing around when the sound of something catches my attention, a replay from last weeks show. “Great, now I have to relive this shit in public? I gotta get through this somehow but it’s like living a fucking nightmare over and over again. God dammit, what the hell do I gotta do to get a fucking chance at something? Do I need to turn into a complete twat like Bobbie? I’m not the bad guy but fucking hell, maybe I should be the in your face one of that damn triple threat against Candy and Amelia. I don’t want to be mean but what the hell else do I have? If I want a real shot at the Roulette title and a chance at redemption against Sam....I don’t have a choice. ....Do I?” I am just talking to thin fucking air....and I just pull myself out of the store and walk. “Somehow I need to get the fuck out of this slump....I want that title shot....I...I’m gonna fucking end up in the nut house. BUT, I gotta do this. ....can I be the bad guy? Do I want to be a champ? OF COURSE I DO! But I gotta do this first....I gotta...”
The sound of my phone brings me out of it....
“I gotta do this....as much as it hurts....”
But first coffee.
And then match.
And then Sam.
