[Sean Parker]

The TRIAD Strength Trials Draft Party
9th October 2023
Hotel California
Los Angeles

Here we were. I didn’t think in my wildest dreams since venturing out to establish my wrestling career away from the cotton wool of my uncle and the Hardcore Wrestling Alliance. As I climbed out of the car, I quickly scooted around, opening the passenger door for Eve. We had been dating for a few months now and things were going great. Truth be told, I was grateful she was with me tonight.

The build to the Strength Trials Draft had been mired in whataboutery and back-and-forth jabs across social media between myself and Bravery Trials Alumni and former SCW World Heavyweight Champion, Matt Knox. Word was that he had planned on stoking the flames of discord that had been fanning between us in the weeks prior and I really wasn’t in the mood. However, many of professional wrestling’s most established names were due to be in attendance, many of whom had been involved in the Bravery Trials along with many other hopefuls like myself looking to make their own mark.

I held my hand out for Eve as she climbed out of the car herself. She looked absolutely radiant, her cerulean blue hair cascading behind her onto an almost-matching-coloured evening gown. She smiled warmly as she accepted my outstretched hand, leaning and giving me a kiss on the cheek. God, she smelled incredible.

“You look amazing,” I said, giving her hand a squeeze. I took what I thought was a subtle inhalation through my nose before I went to start walking towards our venue for the evening. However a firmer reciprocation squeeze of my hand stopped me in my tracks. Perhaps not so subtle after all. Even after only a few months together, she could already read me like a book.

“Hey,” she said softly yet firmly, interlocking her fingers with my own. “If he starts anything, just ignore him. Don’t give him the satisfaction, that’s all he wants, sweetheart.”

A deeper inhalation this time. Definitely not subtle. I let the corresponding exhalation gush out of puffed cheeks as I stared at the ground. Eve gently bumped me, causing me to look up.

“You deserve to be here, just like everyone else. You might get drafted later, you might not. But this is a chance for you to show you’re the bigger person. Let’s go in, enjoy our evening, meet some new people… and who knows…”

She leaned in and kissed my cheek again before whispering into my ear.

“If things do get too much, we can always just go back to our room.”

I chuckled slightly at my girlfriend’s not-so-subtle insinuation before giving her a brief kiss on the lips.

“It’s not the worst Plan B I’ve ever heard.”

We shared another light laugh and another kiss before making our way towards the surreal and unnerving building that was the Hotel California. As we entered the building, the main atrium wasn’t filled with the usual hustle and bustle of coming-and-going guests like you would expect of a hotel of this size. A female receptionist at the front desk greeted us warmly with a smile.

“Can I help you?”

“Yeah, we’re here for the TRIAD Draft Party. Penelope Plimmswood said she’d be taking care of our own arrangements, we should have a room booked under ‘Parker’.”

The receptionist’s eyes diverted from us to her monitor as the keys from her keyboard clicked and clacked. A few moments later, she looked back up with an assuring smile.

“Ah yes, Mr Parker, we have you and your plus one in one of our luxury suites for the night. The reception for Ms Plimmswood’s party is just through those double-doors to your left.”

“Thank you very much,” I replied, sliding her a fifty dollar note, “you’ve been very helpful.”

Eve and I turned and followed the receptionist’s directions, making our way to where the party was taking place. A cacophony of raucous laughter and loud voices all amalgamating together could be heard, the volume getting louder as we got closer to the room. ‘Wow’ was all I could think to myself when we walked in. It was like a literal who’s who of professional wrestling. I spied the imposing figure of Harvey Marx belly-laughing as he conversed with the three TRIAD coaches themselves, Marcus Welsh, PIC and TLS. Some other faces were familiar, some not so much. Infamous promoter Sid Buckley III… Ricky Rodriguez… Blake Mason… Spencer Adams… the Dukes - Thad and Sahara… Joe Montouri and many more were all mingling, drinking, enjoying the festivities. I bit down on my bottom lip furtively, surveying the scene in front of me. Butterflies were filling my stomach and Eve wasn’t ignorant to it either. She gave my hand a comforting squeeze.

“It’ll be fine, sweetheart, just try and enjoy yourself,” she said.

As the evening went on, the drinks started to flow more freely. Eve had gone to our room for a lie down, leaving me to mingle when a familiar, condescending, gravelly voice suddenly made my ears perk up and my eyes roll in the same movement.

“I see you, Parker!”

Deep breaths, Sean, I tried to tell myself. I did my best to ignore the annoying drunken tones of one Matthew Knox. I turned around and held my hand up in a non-threatening manner.

“Look, Knox, just stay out of my face, please. I lost a big match earlier and I’m not in the mood for your shit.”

“Zero wins! Zero bitches! Draft stock TANKING! You need to up your game, Parker!”

Nah, fuck this. I stepped forward, pushing Knox in his chest, startling those within close proximity.

“You and I are starting to have a real fucking problem, Knox!”

I shoved my hand in his face, my index finger extended for emphasis.

“One more fucking word!”

Knox just smiled smugly.

“Do I get to pick the word?”

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, staring into his drunken face, his breath reeking of bourbon.

“Pick it fucking carefully, Matt, I’m not fucking around!”

He just laughed as I let him go, staggering back slightly in his inebriated stupor.

“Poor guy, you know what? I actually pity that cute little girlfriend of yours. Isn’t she here? Maybe she could use some cheek sugar!”

That did it. My arm was cocked, my fist steering towards Knox’s face before I even realised what was happening. It was like a reflex action, as if my brain and heart collectively decided “fuck this guy”. The impact sent Knox tumbling to the ground, sending bourbon and ice everywhere. My chest was heaving and my blood was boiling, my heartbeat so loud I could hear it in my ears. But instead….all the smug prick could do was rub his jaw, that same condescending smile on his stupid fucking face. I watched him clamber back to his feet.

“Man, if I could feel my face I bet that sucked! I get it though, can’t do it to your actual dad eh, Parker?”

His words were like a Muleta being waved in front of a bull and I was ready to gore him with my horns one more time. I stepped forward again, my arm cocked and loaded a second time, ready to unload when I suddenly felt an arm around my waist, pulling me back.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy, kid, come on now, let’s go get a breather!”

I turned my head to see TRIAD coach and former OCW owner, Marcus Welsh, the very man who’d flown all the way to my hometown of Dunfermline to scout me as a prospective draft prospect for the Strength Trials. I respected Welsh for going to such lengths and he’d always been pleasant with me but I wasn’t in the mood for “kid” or anyone putting their hands on me. I not-so-forcefully removed Welsh’s arm from my waist and held my hands up.

“I’m fine, Welsh! I don’t need a breather, I’m done with him,” I said, turning and walking away towards the bar.

“I need a drink.”

Standing at the bar was the familiar face of Team Welsh alumni and former SCW Roulette and Internet Champion, Alexander Raven, locked in a heated exchange with a woman I didn’t recognise. At this point, Raven and I hadn’t had much in the way of interactions but his face was one I immediately recognised. Raven and I would become very much acquainted in the TRIAD Tribulations finale in Cambodia on New Year’s Eve of 2023 when I pipped him to the post on my way to earning my spot as the only guaranteed draftee for the Wit Trials. The woman he was with though? Not so familiar.

She was dressed in a long flowing black dress with large, feathery shoulderpads, sharp make-up accentuating her already strong features. If tension was physical, the two of them would be trapped in the mud of it.

“You can’t fucking hold this against me forever, Alex.” I heard her bark, the heavy twang of New Orleans mixed with the spatterings of someone who had lived long enough in Australia to make it a little bit messy and nasally to listen to.

I motioned to the barman with a non-verbal gesture to the upside-down bottle of Grey Goose with an optics attached to the bottom. I wasn’t usually one for drinking straight vodka but I sure as hell needed one right now as I became an unconsenting fly on the wall of a lover’s quarrel.

“Things don’t just get better, Luna,” I heard Raven snipe back.

“My head is all kinds of messed up, and you. Jimmy and you, kept things from me. Lied to me, and did it all under the guise of ‘protecting’ me. So, you can go fuck yourself. I’m going to have fun. I think Welsh wanted a karaoke partner.” Raven said, finishing his drink, slamming the base of his glass emphatically on the bar.

“Go fuck yourself, Alex.” the woman named Luna snapped back, throwing her drink in Raven’s face. I pursed my lips, the subtlest look of ‘Oh damn’ crossing my face for the briefest of seconds as I sipped on my vodka, crunching the ice cubes between my teeth.

I kept my head facing forward but subtly side-eyed the goings-on. Raven didn’t say anything else. He just shook his head, standing there soaking for a moment before he turned on his heels and took off. The woman screeched in response. Something that anyone who knew her would become incredibly conscious of. The woman was a banshee disguised as a human being.

This was the first time Luna Pasilno and I met. She looked just as angry as I felt, and just as likely to take someone’s head off. She whirled her hand at one of the bartenders, ordering another drink without words, and caught my eye. Little did I know that just seven months later, I’d be thrust into one of the biggest tournaments in professional wrestling alongside her… a dear friend… the crazy-ass sister I never had…

The Day Following the Pairings for the Blast From The Past Tournament
Pasadena, California
Off-Camera

Being a dad was taking some getting used to. But even though Amelia had only been with us for a week, I wouldn’t change it for the world. The experience of giving birth had really taken it out of my wife, Eve so I was happy to take on more of the load and to be honest? I was jumping at the chance to spend as much time with my gorgeous little lady as I could.

I had plonked myself into an armchair I’d specifically bought for Eve positioned right next to Amelia’s crib after I’d walked in several times and found her asleep next to it. Amelia was nestled snug on my chest, her adorable little face cuddled into the crook of my neck. And whilst I loved the snuggles I was getting, there was a phone call I needed to make. The Blast From The Past Tournament Pairings had been announced. Luna Pasilno, wife of Alexander Raven, whom I’d briefly been introduced to back during the TRIAD Strength Trials Draft Party. I’d already done some reconnaissance on her. She was bat-shit crazy but incredibly talented, a lethal combination. The wrestling gods had been kind to me. It hadn’t been difficult retrieving her contact information and we had already touched base beforehand and had agreed to speak in more detail about the upcoming match.

Another perk of being a dad was the sudden ability to do two things at once. Since Amelia had been born, I’d managed to change her nappy with one hand whilst drinking a cup of coffee and fed her a bottle of milk whilst putting the finishing touches on my Lego Death Star. So you’d think making a FaceTime call would be a piece of piss, right?

I’d managed to manoeuvre my phone out of my pocket and dial Luna’s number. After a few moments, the screen changed from the dialling description to indicate the call had been answered but you imagine my surprise, that instead of seeing Luna’s face, I was presented with what appeared to be a foot of all things. The sound of a dog barking as well as the hybrid twang of New Orleans-Australia could also be heard.

“Um…hello? Luna?”

Soon, Luna’s familiar face managed to come into view on my screen.

“So, I didn’t realise the time. And… Do you have dogs, Angel? We have this one crazy little demon. Duchess, named after Alex’s fuckin’ childhood farm creature. Anyway, we do not have an apartment big enough for this beastie, and she decided that this morning was THE day to run roughshod over us. So, if you do not mind a smidge, I’m going to need an extra… twenty minutes to put my life together. That fine with you, Sugar? I can’t hear you, so I’m going to assume yes. Thank you! ”

What seemed to be a toe suddenly flashed up and the screen immediately went blank and I was staring at the background of my phone again. I peered down at my sleeping daughter.

“Oh, darling, what has your daddy gotten himself into with this one?”

I gave Luna the twenty minutes she asked for and dialled her number again. This time, the scene was a lot calmer when she answered.

“Okay, once again. Apologies for earlier. This little creature is a menace until she’s had a morning lay down, and now she’s all better. But that’s enough about enough, Lover. You’ve seen my dainty little piggies, so the least you can do is tell me a bit about yourself, Mr Brand New Daddio.”

I chuckled to myself, careful not to let the bounce of my chest from my laughter wake Amelia before waving my hand in a dismissive manner at her apology.

“It’s all good, Luna, it’s all good. I do find it slightly amusing though that you can go from German suplexing someone through a flaming table to getting bowled over by a beagle.”

I laughed again as I recalled the brutal nature of the ending to Luna’s match I’d managed to catch earlier on. Luna smiled in response.

“Well, sometimes little baby angels like this one are the biggest trials and tribulations. People are easy, little doggies like this one? Now that’s hard, Sugar. Alex wanted a cat, I wanted a dog. We compromised, and got a dog, and now she punishes me for my choices. She loves him, and mostly wants me to have an unfortunate accident. Don’t you sweet girl?” Luna’s voice grew softer.

“Well, I can’t speak for pets, although I am more of a dog guy myself. I do have a baby girl here though. She’s only a week old but she’s already proving to be quite the handful. If this is what she’s like in days I can only imagine what it’s going to be when she’s at school….but I’ll worry about that later.”

Luna’s expression changed to a bright smile as I turned my phone slightly to bring Amelia into full view.

“Animals fill that void. Raven got the snip many moons ago, and we can’t… we don’t want kids really. But I do love the smell of little ones.” Luna said softly, seemingly catching herself at one point.

She took a long drag on her cigarette, and exhaled a heavy cloud of smoke. Something in her eyes spoke differently than what her words did. Her heart didn’t seem to entirely match up with her words.

“But enough about things that can’t use the toilet right, and smell like corn chips. We got some working to do, don’t we, Sugar? So I’m thinking, we should go on a little friend date, climb some castles and see how we mesh as people.” Luna said as her dog had suddenly decided she was done being on show and took off somewhere. Luna’s gaze averted from her interaction with me, seemingly watching where the dog had wandered off to before she turned back to face me although I sensed that her fixation was more on Amelia snoozing away on my shoulder than on me. And then, as if on cue, she started to stir, one of her tiny little scratch mitt-covered hands reaching up. She had an all-too-familiar expression on her face that, even as a week-old baby, I knew all too well. Poonami alert. She shifted uncomfortably which caused me to almost drop my phone and then the smell came. Yup, there it was.

“Sshhh, it’s okay darling, you’re alright! Yes, you are! Daddy’s right here…uh-oh, I think we have a code brown situation! Did you go fill your nappy? Did you?”

I turned my head, knowing Eve was awake as I’d heard her in the kitchen down the stairs.

“Babe! Can you take Amelia for a moment! She needs a clean nappy and I’m on the phone!”

Moments later my wife walked into the bedroom, a smile on her face.

”Come to mommy! Let’s give daddy some peace and quiet to talk to his new friend and we’ll get that smelly touche changed!”

I gently handed Amelia off to Eve who cradled her gently and walked out of the room.

“Thanks, babe, I appreciate it. Bye-bye darling! Daddy will come give you loads of tummy kisses after he’s done speaking to his new friend!”

I turned back to the phone screen to give Luna my undivided attention.

“Sorry about that… Meet-up? Yeah, I think that’s a great idea, actually. I’ve seen your ring-work, it speaks for itself but from my experience, two people who are great in the ring but don’t mesh as partners tend not to do so well. To be fair, Alex and I probably should get along better than we actually do but I know he’s a decent guy so if he trusts and loves you… I’m more than willing to make the effort to trust you as well. I have some promotional work SCW have requested I carry out, part of my one-off contract for the Blast From The Past in Hastings before the show. Y’know, Promote Climax Control! You’re from the UK! Hype it up, cut a promo! Perhaps we can have a little catch-up, see the sights?”

“Get your lawyers to double check the contracts. Mark and Christian are sneaky, heartless fuckers.” Luna said sternly.

“Lexi-baby is… Lexi-baby. A heart hurt by the sharpness of life. He’s just protective of himself. Protective of those he loves, too. And we’re all just a little bit sideways of normal on this side of the broken fence, baby. But we always have each other. Loyalty runs deep in our kingdom.” Luna continued on. The comfort settled in a little and it looked like maybe the person she was trying to hide from me was shining through.

And then suddenly, I could hear a loud crash from Luna’s end and assumed her dog was up to no good again. Luna stood up quickly, and shook her head, the video feed feeling like I was watching one of those found-footage films.

“I have to go see what destruction is being caused before I end up like a screaming baby too. I’ll message you for details on the meet-up later. Unless the dog kills me. In which case. Lovely talking to you, Lover.” Luna said quickly, and without even giving it a moment to settle, had hung up the call. I stared for a moment at my own reflection staring back at me from the background of my phone.

“What have you got yourself in for, Parker? Hmm? This is either going to be lightning in a bottle or a complete shitstorm… let’s hope it’s the first…”

Hastings, England
April 26th 2024
On-Camera

It was a nice day in Hastings, England. For April, Spring was in full swing, wispy clouds dotted about the afternoon sky was a tapestry of teal, with the bright aura of the sunshine creating a beautiful warmth. Not words you’d often associate with an afternoon in East Sussex. I savoured it, lifting my hand up, bridging the side of it against my forehead to shield my eyes from the bright light as I walked across the field where the infamous battle took place.

“I’ve been a professional wrestler for a long time. I’ve graced many different promotions and organisations in the eleven years I’ve been lacing my boots up. The Hardcore Wrestling Alliance, World Championship Wrestling, Zion Wrestling, One Wrestling Movement, the Xtreme Wrestling Federation, Five Lakes Wrestling, TRIAD, Pro Wrestling Valor, FIGHT! Championship Wrestling… and now here I am… Sin City Wrestling, another big debut on the cards. And make no mistake, out of all the cards left in the deck, you’re looking at the absolute fucking wildcard of the entire tournament. And you know? In the last eight? Nine months? Making big splashes like this is becoming something of a habit.”

I held my hand out, my thumb extended.

“I arrived in XWF last year, took their Madness brand by storm, switched to Anarchy and won the Anarchy Championship from Centurion on my debut in December and I’m still champion!”

My index finger joined my thumb.

“I entered the Porter Games, beating Dionysus and your brand-new Internet Champion, Peter Vaughn before narrowly-losing out to Chris Page in a match I arguably should’ve won!”

Then in came the middle finger to join the party.

“I crashed the TRIAD Strength Trials, outlasted seven other competitors including former SCW World Champion, Mark Cross and the husband of my Blast From The Past Tag Team Partner, Alexander Raven! I went the entirety of the Wit Trials without being pinned in matches against the likes of Matt Meyhu, the Big Bifford, Shawn Warstein, Corey Black and CYPH3R!”

I took a moment before continuing.

“LIke I said, making statements like this is becoming something of a habit, a habit I plan on continuing here in Sin Cin Wrestling…now, granted, a lot of you SCW regulars probably don’t know me from Adam but I promise you all, once my time in this tournament is done, you will know what I’m capable of and why they call me the Sky Assassin! And it starts with you, Kat and Teddy, here, on the fabled site of Hastings on April Twenty-eighth.

Ms Jones, you and are no strangers. You have my respect, you’re probably one of the standout Bombshells of this whole thing. Your WGWF exploits are certainly nothing to be sniffed at. But from what I’ve seen, your record in Sin City Wrestling is significantly… less than stellar. Your first match of the year was what? Three weeks ago? And before that, you hadn’t won a match in how long? Eight months?! You bottled a chance to win the Bombshell Internet Championship and couldn’t even drag yourself to victory in a straightforward tag team match. Still, at least you’ve managed to scrounge enough chips together to pay for one more buy-in.”

I walked across the fields of Hastings, my eyes scanning the beautiful, picturesque scenery before me.

“But, I have to wonder if throwing yourself into the Blast From The Past Tournament is the brightest idea, Kat, knowing the next card you could be dealt could be a joker. Or perhaps it’s you that’s the joker of the pack but you fancy yourself a queen? Is this one last big call? A chance to prove you’re still the same Bombshell that won the Roulette Championship all those months ago. Whatever it is, you better come to this table with an ace or two up your sleeve because you’re gonna need every trick in the book to survive Luna.

And that brings me to your partner… the person I’m more concerned with… Teddy Warren. Apparently, according to the next Climax Control card summary, Teddy, you're…”

I brought my hands up, making a set of mocking air quotes with my fingers.

”...’Unique and controversial’. But, from what I gather, the only thing controversial about you is your decision to drag yourself out of the doldrums of anonymity, thinking you have even the slightest chance of reviving a career that’s little more than a dying ember at this point. In fact, by the time the sun sets on Hastings, England come the twenty-eighth of April, my one match in SCW is going to eclipse everything you’ve ever done in this company.

See, Teddy, whilst you’ve been doing…whatever the fuck it is you’ve been doing since your name last held any semblance of relevancy, I’ve been establishing myself in the pantheon of professional wrestling. And It’s actually ironic that this week’s Climax Control is taking place in Hastings… the site of the historic battle. Do you know the history of the Battle of Hastings, Teddy? Do you know what was actually at stake? Well, allow me to educate you! You see, our match? It’s not all too dissimilar from what transpired all those centuries ago. Much like the Would-Be-King, Harold Godwinson, wanted to claim Edward the Confessor’s crown for his own, you want Blast From The Past 2024 to be your crowning achievement, a return to form…

…But your ignorance and stubbornness blind you, Teddy, just as Harold’s did. Blinded by the arrogance of his own prowess, unaware of the impending storm that approached. Just as he faced the fury of William's army, you’re going to come face to face with the relentless onslaught of my own ambition and skill. And just like the arrow that flew through the air and pierced through Harold’s eye and skewered his brain like a kebab, you won’t see me coming, Teddy. Except it won’t be an arrow, it’s going to be a Masamune Decapitation separating your jaw from the rest of your head!”

I took another brief moment of respite, thinking on my words, allowing for the weight of them to sink in.

“But you know, William’s conquest of Great Britain back then doesn't even touch the sides of some of the greatest conquests in history, Teddy… You’ve got Alexander the Great… Ghengis Khan… Julius Caesar, the Dictator of Rome… Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of France… Attila the Hun….Timur… Francisco Pizarro, the Conquistador of South America…. Mahmud of Ghazni, the First Sultan…and now, in 2024… Sean Parker in Sin City Wrestling...

But I am no mere conqueror; I am the embodiment of destiny, the architect of my own legacy. Just as William claimed victory at Hastings, like Alexander the Great took a stranglehold over half the world, this little comeback of yours will be snuffed out and you can skulk back into the shadows of mediocrity where you’ve made such a comfortable home for yourself this past year. See you at the weekend…”

As I prepared to walk off camera, something in my peripheral vision suddenly caught my eye. Now, it’s worth noting that when I arrived for my media duties here in Hastings, I was made well-aware the ruins here were private property and that interacting with them was strictly off-limits. I had to squint to get a better look at whatever this was and soon found myself hurriedly walking across the fields to get a closer look. It then started to twig… Surely not? I thought to myself as I got closer and closer. Someone was actually climbing the sacred ruins of Hastings and not just anyone. I don't think I could have rolled my eyes any harder when it eventually dawned on me who it was…

“Luna! Fuck sake!” I shouted. I was then acutely aware the cameras were still live… I turned to the crew who had been following me around. ”Aye, um…you might want to stop filming… unless you want SCW to get into legal trouble…”

The scene quickly cut to black.