[Despayre]

 The main guest quarters of the high end hotel was calm ... quiet, save for the subdued sounds emanating from the plasma television stationed against the far end wall. The decor was tasteful, with the furniture spaced across the light, creme colored walls and carpet, and the paintings along the wall minimal but with an elegance all unto their own.

The mood was kind of soured then when one realized that the program being shown on the screen was the Brendan Fraser movie, 'Looney Tunes - Back In Action'.

Synn and Rage sat on the stretch sofa against the wall, their attention on other things besides what was flickering on the screen; the charming blend of live action and classic animation. Synn had his laptop on his bended knee and was busy browsing the internet, looking up information on the NWA and it's championship combination of Weapon-X and Vixen. Rage had a magazine in hand, stealing glances over the folded pages and frowning as if the noise from the movie would not permit him to concentrate on what he was trying to read. As if a debate raging between Brendan Fraser and Daffy Duck could detract from a scientific study on the benefits of ingesting licorice underwear. (Go figure!) The proverbial 'Sin of Lust' sat on a chair beside the sofa, curled up and only paying slight attention to the movie as she had an ereader in hand, reading the classic 'Lord of the Rings' while the team killed a little time before they were set to go out for the evening to an autograph session scheduled by the SCW for the tour of California.

The only two who were paying close attention to the movie at hand was the combination of Kittie and Despayre, both seated on the floor just a foot away from the screen. Kittie sat with her legs curled up and she rested her side against a plush recliner, her one hand on her lap, the other subconsciously twirling her fingers in her blond locks. She was not as into the whole "Looney Tunes" craze like her childlike partner, Despayre, but she found the animation shorts somewhat amusing, and more importantly -- calming. Despayre was the fanatic of the group for these cartoons, and his eyes were riveted to the screen as he sat with his legs stretched out in front of him and his hands curled tightly in his lap. All of his attention on the important stuff.

Despayre's regular tag team partner, Gabriel, had not made the trip to California. He remained behind this one time under Synn's direction so he didn't aggravate his injured knee just as his return date to the ring was close at hand. This disappointed Despayre severely, but Synn and Gabriel both explained it was in Gabriel's best interests, health-wise. That was all Despayre needed to hear to accept it. Gabriel would make the trip with them for the next stop, after all.

The one last member to the group of the Seven Deadly Sins, Sxxxy Shane Boswell, opened the door from the hotel hall and stepped inside of the room. He surveyed the goings on around him, before shutting the door behind him and saying, "Whoa, party central."

"Just enjoying a rare respite, Shane." Synn said from his seat, clicking away at the keys of his computer. "It's a rarity these days it seems. We just have the Meet and Greet shortly and then we can go back to Vegas." He looked up at the 'Sin of Pride' and added, "And then of course the whole process starts anew."

"Whoopee." Shane said sarcastically as he popped his forefinger from his lips and twirled it in the air. He walked over to the side of the sofa and peeked over the screen. "Find anything on the champs?"

"Surprisingly little." Synn answered as he turned the computer to a bio page on the NWA World Tag Team Championship team of the Har-Kore Warriors. "But enough. Their career together is admittedly a storied one. They've won championships a plenty, and earned each one."

"Twenty, plus." Shane said and jetted out his bottom lip in contemplation. "Hm, that's pretty damn good. Gotta give `em credit. Only team I know of that tops that would be..."

"TSSA." Synn finished the thought and turned the laptop back around to continue his scouting. "I know. Chippendale and Thunder's title records run into the thirties, and that's just with each other. the rare times they teamed and won gold with other partners would push the number even further."

Shane dropped the bag he was carrying in Rage's lap with an audible "oof!" and growl from the big man as he maneuvered to the chair where fantasia stood up. Shane plopped down and she followed suit, taking her usual spot on his muscled lap as she didn't miss a beat in her reading. Shane's arm slid around her waist and he spoke up, "So you find any of their matches to help scout for these two chuckle heads here?" He motioned toward the combo watching the movie from the floor.

Synn nodded, "Enough." he glanced up and raised an eyebrow. "You realize they've only defended the World Tag Team title once?"

Having overheard, Fantasia lowered her Nook and frowned, "Once? They won the title at the end of January and only defended it once since?" She rolled her eyes and shook her head in the negative before going back to her reading.

Synn smiled, having read her thoughts without so much as glancing up. "The NWA titles for the most part are only defended once a month, so it's understandable."

"Doesn't exactly set the world on fire though, does it?" Shane asked, glancing over toward the screen. He looked down and saw something that was not there before he looked up. "Am I crazy or is something missing?"

"The bears?" Fantasia mused with a smile.

"Yeah." Shane conferred. "Where's Angel and..."

"Snowflake?" Fantasia finished. "They're in the bedroom, having a tea party as I understand it."

"Ah." Shane nodded sarcastically and rolled his eyes. "Why didn't I know that?" He exhaled gently through pursed lips and raised his eyebrows. He turned his head aside and looked down towards the hall before turning away again.

Fantasia lowered her Nook and gave him a wicked little grin. "You want to look, don't you?"

"No."

Synn closed the laptop with a snap and set it aside, saying, "Well whether you want to or not, here's your chance. It's time to get downstairs for the little fan meet. Can you go get the bears, Shane, while I try to pry these two away from this movie."

"Uhhhhgh!" Shane sighed annoyingly and he stood upright. "Why do I get the feeling you got the easier of the tasks?"

"More tea?"

"Please."

"One lump, or two?"

"Ohhh no you don't! You're not going to get me with that old trick!"

"Why, whatever do you mean?"

"Hey don't play innocent with me! I watch enough Looney Tunes to know how it works. You ask me how many lumps I want and then you whack me with that spoon."

"Now I do believe you're being just a wee bit paranoid, don't you?"

"Hey! A little paranoia is a very healthy thing. It keeps the blood flowing."

"So does an ice pick to the carotid artery, where do you want to draw the line?"

"... Right before that whole ice pick thing!"

"So, where is everybody, anyhow?"

"I think they're all out in the hotel room, watching the boob tube."

"*snort* You said 'boob'!"

"I did, didn't I? Can I say that? I mean, I'm always being told this is a 'family program' and things are PG-13 and all."

"That's WWE, you silly. We're Sin City Wrestling. Anything goes!"

"Anything?"

"Well, almost anything. You won't see anything like Synn bending Mark Ward over in the ring or anything like that."

"All the better for my innocent little eyes. I won't have to wash them out with Clorox!"

"Uh...yah! So why is everybody out there instead of in here, playing with us and having a spot of tea?"

"I think Synn is trying to keep everyone's mind on other stuff. Mommy Dearest struck again."

"Oh? What was it this time? A homemade sweater with wool so fresh it still goes BAAAAAAAAAAAA!...?"

"Um, well, no. Not quite. It was just a little greeting card, Hallmark I think."

"Do we get royalties now that you plugged the greeting card conglomerate in our promo?"

"I doubt it. The greeting card business just isn't what it used to be. And besides, it's tasteless to plug some company in a wrestling promo just in the hopes of a cheap reward."

"Oh I agree! ... Captain Morgan Rum!"

"D'oh!"

"Well it was worth a shot."

"Say, what are they doing out there anyway? Don't tell me they're watching that press conference again. I'm still trying to process it, myself."

"I know. I mean, who do those two think they are anyway? Coming in here and criticizing the way Mark and Christian are running things? Last time I checked, they came to SCW, not the other way around. Just who do they think they are!"

"They're the NWA World Heavyweight Tag Team Champions."

"Heavyweight?"

"That's what Wolverine keeps saying."

"Who's Wolverine? I thought his name was Weapon-X."

"You say potato, I say vodka. Been reading too many X-Men comics lately."

"So... does the NWA have a World Cruiserweight Tag Team championship?"

"Nope."

"Then why does he keep calling their titles the Heavyweight Tag Team championship? Heck, they even called the SCW titles the SCW Heavyweight Tag Team Championship!"

"You know I looked at the official NWA website and they don't even call their titles Heavyweight tag team titles. I guess they have some weird hangup over that term."

"Does that mean since he calls their title for Heavyweights, he's calling his wife...?"

"I would say so, yes."

"Hunh. Not a very nice thing to say about your own beloved. It's no wonder he condones male on female violence. Tsk tsk tsk. He probably uses a tazer on the little missus when the smashed potatoes have lumps in them."

"Yeah I was talking to my little buddy after watching that snooze fest and he didn't understand how equality equaled right from wrong when it came to men fighting women."

"I'd say it was the Har-Kore Warriors who don't understand. A gentleman does not hit a woman, bottom line."

"I agree. Only a coward would hit a woman, unless maybe his life was at stake. But hitting a woman in a wrestling match? Oh they say that the woman can take care of herself and claim equal rights and all that, but what happens in a domestic dispute when the cops are called because a guy beat up his girlfriend or wife? Are the cops going to say, 'Oh she can handle it. It's the new millennium so equal rights and all that!'"

"No the cop will not! That guy is going to get arrested."

"Exactly! It doesn't matter if the woman started it or attacked him and he was defending himself. The man gets blamed and arrested. The man is shed in the bad light and is automatically in the wrong according to society and the law. The man is made out to be the bad guy."

"So, how is pro wrestling any different?"

"It's not. It's a sport, that's it. It's not even been realistic in the past when men have stepped into the ring against women."

"Example?"

"Well look at when two of the toughest women in the business, Jacqueline and Luna (God rest her soul) tried to wrestle Jeff Jarrett. He tore them apart. They accepted his challenge. They knew what they were getting into, and still Jarrett was made out to be the villain for hitting them in the matches. Trish Stratus tried to wrestle Chris Jericho but he laid her out with one clothesline. Test (God rest his soul) pretty much laid Lita out and pinned her after just one big boot."

"How about Chyna? She took on men all the time. Even in Japan. Every time someone who says women should be allowed to wrestle men, they always bring up Chyna as their main point of argument."

"Chyna. Hmph. Well for one, Chyna is -- or was -- twice the size of all these other women who say they should be able to wrestle with the guys.  But have they forgotten just how bad in the ring she was?  Plus, people forget that half of the time she fought men, she either used weapons to win (ala Jeff Jarrett) or she had help, like when Triple H used to accompany her to the ring for her matches against men. Billy Gunn, Val Venis, she wrestled and beat men of that caliber, but only because Triple H interfered and did most of the damage himself."

"True. I recall a match she had with Ken Shamrock. He wouldn't fight her but she kept pushing and slapping him until he snapped. He put her down with one belly-to-belly suplex and she was out! And ... after that one move Triple H jumped into the ring to get revenge for her.

"Revenge for what? She signed up for the match. Shamrock just happened to lay her out. Put her in a real match against some of the men she 'wrestled' and they'd take her apart. Like when she wrestled in Japan."

"Tried to, you mean."

"Right. She got in a move or two here and there, but those guys had her number from the start of the match to the end."

"What about Misty? She's one of our own and she was the only woman in the Cruiserweight Gauntlet and she walked away with the title."

"Let's just say she's the exception to the rule. But if you want to be technical, she was the last entrant so she had a heck of an advantage going in."[/color]

"True. Say, speaking of my home girl, can you believe that press conference where the Har-Kore Warriors actually had the nerve to bring her match up and criticize who Mister Ward signed to wrestle her? Tsk tsk."

"Well they seem to have a high value to their own opinion. I guess when you've been competing for as long as they have, you naturally have this affinity toward your own opinions of the business, whether you're working regularly for that company or not."

"Yeah but what business is it of theirs if Misty was signed to compete against Angelica? Personally I'm looking forward to that match. I mean, it has some history behind the two babes and so far we really haven't seen Misty and Angelica together in SCW."

"Oh I know. Even if the title isn't on the line, it'll be nice to see something new. And if Angelica wins, she will at least be put in line for a title match so all the better. Plus you'd think those two would be happier seeing a woman getting such an opportunity in a division centered around the boys."

"You'd think, but they're just complainers by nature. Look at how they whined about who they'd be facing here with their open challenge. They knew SCW's rules very well about men wrestling women before they ever showed up to issue their challenge."

"Yeah! Then they go and complain about not getting an all-male team to compete against. I mean, hel-LO!? Sinful Obsession couldn't wrestle them even if it was allowed. Gabriel is hurt, and if they'd bother to do their homework, they would have known that."

"Yeah, and the others were already signed to compete for the SCW Tag Team titles. Sorry kiddies, but in my opinion, the SCW titles have more prestige because they're defended more regularly and against a wider variety of teams."

"I think so too. I think so... oo! Cheese it! It's the man!"

The footsteps outside of the bedroom were heard to have stopped. Beneath the door that led out into the hallway, the shadowed forms of a pair of shoes came to a halt. The doorknob turned and with a soft click to the ears, it slid open against the plush carpeting and Shane set foot inside of the room and have a brief look around, until he spotted what he had first set his eyes for.

Two teddy bears were seated at the small end table on plastic chairs. One was the gift Despayre had given to Kittie for a wintery holiday gift late last year, aptly named Wynter. The female teddy bear was clad now in a 'ball gown' of crystal blue with a tiara on her scalp. The second was perhaps the most famous teddy bear known to man (and we mean that!), the little companion of Despayre himself, Angel. Angel was seated opposite of Wynter, dressed in a tuxedo with a top hat and a monocle over his right eye. The table was set for a tea party, complete with the small cups, teapot, and a little plate piled high with Oreo cookies.

Shane could not help but shake his head, the bemusement on his face at the play acting of his team companions. He walked over and as per Kittie and Despy's request, scoops the bears up into his arms and he turned about to leave, when he stopped short. He slowly turned his head back to glance at the table with a frown on his face. He leaned in toward the table and saw tiny little teeth marks, bites taken out of the cookies on the plates that were in front of each bear's place setting. He then saw the tea cups had actual tea in them, and the wisps of steam rising told him that it was still hot, still fresh.

"How...?" Shane started to wonder aloud when he clamped his mouth shut and shook his head. "Forget it. I don't think I want to know."

And he turned back swiftly and hurried from the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

"Shhhhhh!"

_______________________________

Mid-camera...a teddy bear's face fills the television set with thick rimmed glasses magnifying his little black eyes to three times their normal size with a white and powder blue polka dot tie...Mr. Self Help.

Mr. Self Help: Hewwo. Will you be my fwiend?

(Insert corny theme music here reminiscent of a TV game show)

The Hilton Garden Inn Hall was to be the location for the next installment of Sin City Wrestling's weekly two-hour long Climax Control, packed with wrestling action of the dramatic flare that has made this a staple for enthusiasts of the sport. The famed six-sided ring had already been put into place, but the floor was empty of the seats and chairs for the fans. That was because today, Saturday, was a special pre-Climax Control event. A special SCW Meet and Greet for the fans, filled with stars signing autographs and mingling with their supporters. A chance for lucky fans to step forward inside of the ring and take pictures with their friends and their favorite superstars and Bombshells.

It was the perfect way for those in charge of Sin City Wrestling to wet the appetites of the wrestling hungry men and women, young and old, who have come to support their creation since day one. On the far side of the hall was a stage complete with podium. many fans stationed there were laughing and talking, showing those closest to them of their purchases at the souvenir stands and the autographs and pictures taken and received from the men and women of the SCW.

A sudden, ear-splitting feedback screech from the sound system caused many to cringe and grab at their ears, when a booming voice carried across the hall...

"'Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown' will not be seen at this time so we that we can present to you an even bigger loser of a show."

"Here he is, the bear with all the answers. The one who can look into you and see what ails you and make you feel all snuggly inside! The cuddly wuddly little guy who's advice is often asked for, but rarely adhered to. He talks to you whether you're listening or not because he cares -- and he likes the sound of his own voice! Please welcome...Mr. Self Help!"

The fans standing at the stage turn and start to clap their hands and cheer, whistle and holler out for the impending appearance of the famous little teddy bear. Seconds pass by and the stage light continues to flow over the red, velvety curtains while the cornball music continues to play. Shadowy silhouette are shown against the curtains from the backstage area, clearly in deep conversation and possibly unaware of their voices being heard.

(Darn those stage microphones!)

"I don't want to do this."

"Despy, you have to."

"Why?"

"Because it was your idea!"

"That is beside the point! Why do I have to go out there and do his seminar? It's his!"

"You know Angel gets stage fright."

"Well he needs to get over it! I don't like going out there either!"

"Well how about this? Here. Put his glasses on."

One shadow is seen slipping something off of a small figure being held by another and slipped onto the head of the one holding the figure.

"See? Problem solved. You won't even be able to tell anyone is watching."

"Wow! Have you ever thought about corrective surgery for your eyes, Angel? I don't know how you manage!"

"Despy, they're waiting."

"Alright! Alright! I'm going, but he owes me big!"

There was a rustling of the curtains as the opening was being targeted but not found, when an audible growl was heard and the bottom of the curtains were then flung up and Despayre struggles through to the general laughter and applause of the fans watching in the convention hall. Wearing the glasses with the magnifying lenses, Despayre's gray eyes were four times their normal size and he was clearly struggling to see as he held his hands out and carefully walked towards the podium. He found it, if you call bumping into it at a hard impact 'finding it' and looked around at the fans who each bore smiles and "Beware the Stare" Angel t-shirts.

"Hello." Despayre spoke into the microphone (after locating it too, with his hands). "I'm afraid Mister Self Help will be unable to attend his seminar. I am Joshua, or Despayre, his assistant. I will be substituting for him (he turned his head to look off-stage and bellowed) BECAUSE SOMEBODY IS NOT AWARE THAT HE'S A BIG BEAR NOW AND SHOULD BE OVER HIS STAGE FRIGHT!" He looked back to the crowd before his eyes widened and looked off-stage again. "Oh yeah!? Well you're another!" Despayre looked out to the fans and jetted a thumb to the backstage area. he turned to face the curtains again. "And I better be getting a cut of his tape sales if I have to be doing his speech!"

The fans, by now, were roaring in laughter at the comedic antics of Despayre, whether he intended for them to be comedic in nature or not. Despayre shook his forefinger at the curtains before he turned to the fans with a mocking frown on his youthful face and he cleared his throat.

"Anyway..." he said. "I am Mister Self Help's assistant and tonight we...*cough* **coughcough* *cough-HACK!" He thumped his chest with his hand an shook his head vigorously, making that funny noise with his lips. "Hm, pardon me. Hairball. One of the many risk factors of teddy bear cuddling."

The fans laughed and Despayre looked left, then right, then leaned closely into the microphone as if to share a secret. He said, "And that morning breath of theirs. Oh let me tell you some-ALRIGHT!" He glanced offstage again and exhaled his breath sharply before looking at the fans with an elbow propped on the podium. He tilted his head back, to indicate the people standing off the stage area. "Teddy bears can be so TESTY when you critique the slightest... FINE!"

He looked down and picked up a stack of papers and sorted them before glancing up, biting his lower lip. he turned his head and called out, "Hey if I have to do this, I need my lovely assistant! I can't be expected to read this to talk smack about my opponents AND click the projector too!"

The voices from backstage are overheard debating by the fans...

"You do it."

"Screw that. I did it last time."

"Yeah but you did it so well..."

"Flattery will get you nowhere. So you do it."

"He doesn't like me."

"Despy likes everybody!"

"I meant the bear."

"Oh .... of course you did. Hey I know! Kittie is his partner. She can do it."

"What!? I am not..."

The curtains were thrown open and Kittie was sent stumbling through. She was greeted with cheers and jeers alike from the fans as she turned back to glare at those unseen, her teammates obviously. She turned around to look out at the fans briefly before looking to Despayre who had a quizzical expression.

He said, "Gabriel, you've changed."

"I'm NOT Gabriel!" Kittie growled.

Despayre hefted his glasses up briefly and nodded, "Oh good. I was worried. For a moment there I thought Gabriel got a boob job and lost about a hundred pounds."

Kittie protested and said, "Try a hundred and twenty and then we're in business."

"Are you ready!?" Despayre shrieked happily.

"Do I have a choice?"

"Uh uh." Despayre shook his head.

Kittie sighed defeatedly and said, "Then I'm ready."

"Excellent!" Despayre passed the projector button to his tag team partner for Climax Control and turned back to the fans and spoke into the microphone, "Today, ladies, gentlemen, and undecided..."

Kittie mouthed 'undecided'?

Despayre continued, "WE are here to talk about the issue of violence between men and women, cleverly disguised as a wrestling promo because, you know, we have to do things like this. You see, in many professional wrestling organizations, they let men compete against women, for good or ill. Not here in Sin City Wrestling, however! And my lovely assistant Kittie and I have two opponents who don't agree with this. Weapon-X, and a lady by the name of Vixen."

Despayre scratched the back of his head and turned to look at Kittie.

"Say," he asked. "Can a lady go by the name of Vixen? Doesn't that mean a lady who's not a lady?"

From backstage, somebody shouted, "It means a quarrelsome or argumentive woman, Despy!"

"Oh!"

Despayre turned back to the camera and smiled, "Well then that fits then! She and her man-man seem to enjoy dictating their views and opinions on SCW, and they haven't even officially competed there yet! Oh it's wrong to discriminate against women, they say, and not allow them to wrestle men. Well let me ask you something..."

Despayre leaned forward on the podium, and rested an elbow up atop of it.

He said, "Is it equality, or an inferiority complex, that they seek to indulge? Oh don't get me wrong, men and women should be equals, and be able to compete in the same businesses, the same professions, as one another. But should they be allowed to compete in the same physical contact sports, such as wrestling? Can you imagine a match like this?"

Kittie clicked the button on the projector remote.

vs

Despayre spoke, "Would it be considered equality for Laila Ali to engage in a boxing match with world boxing champion Vladimir Klitschko? If equality means they'd be scraping her off of the match after the first shot he landed, then sure! But they don't have intergender professional boxing matches. If Vixen and Weapon-X had their way, they probably would. Their stances, are a detriment to the safety and well being of women everywhere!"

Kittie held up a sign that clearly read "Cheer" and the fans obliged enthusiastically.

Despayre continued, "Of course, boxing is not wrestling. But yet you would not see these form of intergender fights in other contact sports such as MMA, UFC, and the like. Why? Because they wouldn't think to put women in such dangerous positions, so why professional wrestling?" He held his arms out to the side and looked baffled. "Professional wrestling can be as dangerous and as violent as any other. So why. Why do the Har-Kore Warriors seem so determined to have men wrestle women? Perhaps it's a domestic issue? Perhaps it's something from their childhood? Vixen, you can talk to me. You can talk to Mister Self-Help ... or his assistant I guess. Tell me..."

He looked closely into the camera.

"Does your husband lay a hand to you? Or, do you lay a hand to him? Domestic violence where women attack their men isn't unheard of, but it is not reported as often due to the embarrassing nature of the situation. Few men would report that their women beat them up. In our sport, few men would want to willingly wrestle a female because once they get pinned, IF they get pinned, that pretty much shoots their reputation up the... patooty."

He looked off-stage.

"Yeah I'm not going to say that other word. This is a family promo!"

He looked back out at the fans and gave a goofy smile.

"Now, more visual aids!"

Kittie clicked the remote...



"Annie, from 'Misery'! This is a babe who had no trouble at all at taking a hand to a man ... and an axe to his foot. Ewwww! She beat him and threatened him. She intimidated him, and all in the name of love. This, my dear Vixen, is you. You, are Annie. Of course I'm not saying you tie your husband to the bed and hobble him. Unless, of course, he's into that sort of thing."

Despayre looked to Kittie.

"Is he into that sort of thing?"

Kittie frowned, "How would I know!?"

The fans laughed.

Despayre frowned. "Boy! Some assistant you are! You're supposed to find these things out beforehand! Anyway..." He turned back and smiled. "Up next in our revolving Kaleidoscope of kooky basket cases of intergender inequality..."

Kittie clicked the remote.



"Ah! Good ol' Norman Bates! A man with classic psychological issues. Psychological .. psycho ... get it? HA! No? Hm, well I'd have laughed if you said it. Now, although Norman here did a man or two... in Did them in! I KNEW THAT! His primary targets just so happened to be women. Why? Because girls were icky and immoral according to his mother, and did this man ever have momma issues! He kept her dead body preserved in his basement for crying out loud!"

Despayre blinked, looked at Kittie briefly before he leaned in close to the microphone.

"Vixen, I implore you. When you get home -- CHECK THE BASEMENT! Oh and I'd lock the bathroom door when I went for a shower too, if I were you. That Weapon-X might have a few skeletons in his closet that you're not aware of. So, my point in all of this."

He looked down at the papers and then turned around.

"There was a point to this!?"

"Apparently." A voice called back. "The bear doesn't waste time."

"No, no he doesn't." Despayre turned back around and shrugged.

"Would Annie take Norman Bates in a brawl to settle it all between two basket cases? Who would win if they did? The point is, these types of situations happen in horror films all the time. Who are usually the antagonists? Men. Jason Vorhees. Mother issues. Freddy Krueger. He just hated women in general. It was children he had a liking toward. Michael Meyers? I think he had a thing for his sister, which is probably why he wore that mask. Naughty naughty naughty!"

Despayre picked up the stack of papers and rapped them on end on the podium.

"In closing, you two sick, twisted freaks. This is not a horror movie where men having their violent ways with women is an accepted par of the course. This is professional wrestling. More importantly, this is Sin City Wrestling."

The crowd cheered.

"You knew very well before you ever came here that men were not allowed to wrestle women, so you have no right -- none at all -- to complain that you did not get an all-male team, or an all-female team, to face in this showcase match. So kindly stop complaining, and play the hand that you've been dealt. You have Kittie and Despayre, a combination that equals your own. Champions, versus former champions. Men abusing women in a violent manner belongs in horror movies. Women abusing men belongs in the random S&M dungeon."

Despayre frowned at the paper and looked to Kittie.

"I don't get it."

"Don't look at me." She said, holding her hands up. "It was your teddy bear who wrote that speech."

"Yeah, I think I'll go ask him to explain it to me. Are we done?"

"God I hope so!"

Despayre pulled off the glasses and blinked rapidly. "Wow!" he said. "I really need to ask Synn to get Angel that laser corrective surgery."

"After we kick Vixen and Weapon-X's asses, okay?"

"Okay!" And Despayre dropped down to all fours and crawled back under the curtains. Kittie watched him with a smirk before she found the opening immediately and started through. But before she vanished behind, she turned back and looked out to everyone, "This has been a Mister Self-Help presentation"

And she vanished behind the curtains as the fans laughed and applauded.