Chapter 25: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back.
It had been an interesting few weeks for me. Through the professional struggles that I had been forced to endure, I had a small glimmer of hope in my personal life away from the bright lights of professional wrestling, and the trials and tribulations that we are all forced to go through. After leaving the comfort of the place that I had called “Home” for the better part of the year, and the only place that I had actually felt welcome, I needed to be on my own. I needed to strike out and find a place that was uniquely me, while also allowing me to spread my wings.
This might come as a surprise to most people, but I’m not exactly the most social person on the face of the Earth. I don’t like to float around to different groups and make myself known. A social butterfly, I am not. But for a select few, I can be open. Well, as open as you’d expect me to be. In the last couple of weeks, while I had been ignoring my professional life, my personal life had felt better.
I settled on an apartment. Beautiful and spacious, but still cozy enough that I felt secure and safe. A place that I could really feel at home with. One that I bought and was mine. Not one that I shared with someone else, not one that was in someone else’s name, not even one that I rented. This was mine. I owned it. See, I have never put roots down. My sister was right in that regard. I had moved from my parents place, to living with my sister, to living with boyfriends, to living with Finn and all the others. I had traveled everywhere, but never stopped to really be myself and have a place that I could love and call my own.
That all changed a few weeks ago.
And since I moved in, I felt myself feeling more open. Both of my sisters had come to visit, my brother, even my mother. I welcomed them with open arms, gave each one of them the grand tour of my little corner of paradise. A nice open plant family room, overlooking a large bay window with a balcony. Twelve stories up. A large kitchen that I had sworn to myself and I was going to learn how to use it. Three bedrooms, the master bedroom for myself obviously, but two guest bedrooms in case my sisters ever wanted to stay over.
This was mine.
The feeling of independence and being okay with being alone sent to wash over me and fit me like a glove. Tasmin came to visit me, her long hair tied back, looking every bit the mother that she had become since her daughter, Dawn, had come into this world a little over a year ago. I must admit, I enjoyed spending time with my baby niece. Her adorable little face and look at of innocence was something that I had been missing in my life, and that I had lacked since I could remember.
But now, while she sat across from me, I could feel that she wanted to ask me some questions. She seemed happy for me, something that filled me with a certain feeling of pride. See, Tasmin had always wanted more for me. She was a loving person, always being there for her older sisters and wanting us to be happy. As happy as she was with her husband and her child, and while Amber had also settled into her own life of calm contemplation. I have never been someone to find that level of domestic bliss.
She smiled, lifting up her coffee cup and taking a sip before looking around the kitchen and across out the window. “It’s a beautiful apartment, Kay. I’m glad you took it, and everything here…” She looked around, the vintage horror posters and band posters mixed with artistic interpretations of ancient Celtic and Slavic legends showing off my personality. “It’s very you.”
She was right. Of course, I have definitely personalized the apartment, to my own tastes. ”Thanks…I guess”
“It seems nice and quiet too…like you’ll be left alone.” I chuckled and shook my head, I know why Tasmin feels that way, I know why she thinks that way.
I stretched and pointed to my left. “I know everyone who lives on this floor…my neighbors are alright.” Tasmin looked shocked, as I thought she would. After all, I have never been the type of person that wants to go into social situations with people I barely know. Most of the time, I don’t even want to be in social situations with people I do know. “The guy who lives two doors away is a music engineer. We chat about bands and I’ve even had coffee with him...”
Tasmin laughed it off, but when I didn’t laugh, she tilted her head and looked around before leaning in close. “Seriously? You? …wow…you really have settled in here. And you seem…happy…and you look like you took everything happening in SCW really well…”
I rolled my eyes and let out a huffing noise. I threw my hands up in the air before I leaned forward, grabbing my coffee and taking a sip. It didn’t really bother me, the world of professional wrestling has always been one of people falling, and then pulling themselves back up. People who fail and find redemption in unexpected victories. “You win titles and lose them Tas, I’m ready to go back to work…I’ll rise back upI’m too good not to.”
She looked confused, and in turn that confused me. She cleared her throat and tilted her head. “So, you’re ok with the match this week?”
“What match? I know I’m due to be there, but I haven’t checked…why?”
Tasmin went quiet, looking down and shaking her head. She looked worried, I raised my eyebrow and stared at her. ”Uh, well…you are teaming with Finn…”
I took a short, sharp breath in. My hands slowly pulled into fists as I tried to keep myself calm. Why? Why did I have to be teaming with him? I let out a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Tasmin knew, sitting back and shaking her head, looking disappointed in herself. Like she just brought up some kind of bad memory that was breaking me. And in a way, it was. I had gone out of my way to put him out of my mind, to not even think about him or mention him. Even when his return match was announced, I simply put it out of my mind and didn’t watch it all. I didn’t go near any monitors. Backstage, I was like a ghost, grabbing my bag and leaving before he stepped foot out into that arena.
I thought I had done well….
”Why? Why the fuck am I teaming with him?” I trailed off, standing up and moving across the room to look out across the city, I just happened to be looking across toward the general direction of Finn’s home. MY home. I growled and lashed out, slamming my fist into the window and turning. Tasmin jumped and shook her head. “I’m ok...this is fine...it has to be a mistake.”
I picked up my phone, flicking through my emails and finding the booking schedule for it. ”I don’t think it’s a mistake…they’re already advertising it-”
My blood boiled, my hands shook, I felt my muscles tense up and as the anger rose up from my lower stomach I opened my mouth and screamed.
“FUCK!!!”
Teamwork Makes the Dream Work
”This is complete bullshit. I know why this is happening, but I also don’t understand why it is all coming up now. See, a few months ago Finn and I wanted to team together. The mixed tag team division was in tatters at the time and no one gave a crap about it. But he and I wanted to step foot in the ring together. Nobody listened, and nobody cared. But, he left, and I stayed. And the personal relationship that he and I had is not what it was. So why the fuck are we teaming together?”
Kayla is full of venom, anger and vitriol. She growls and shakes her head throwing her hands in the air.
”I just lost my Internet championship, and I did the best I could with that title. I raised it up to a goal that people wanted to chase and accomplish, a prize that was worth holding. I did that. No one else did that. And after losing it this third and final time, I was ready to move on. I was looking at the different champions in this company and the names that currently sit on top of the mountain. Legends that I could try and bait into matches that were high profile and would give me the right level of exposure. I was already dreaming of matches that I could have with the likes of Roxi Johnson and others.”
“I was ready to go after Courtney Pierce, and anyone else who was going to step in my way. I was ready to climb up the ladder of the Roulette or Bombshells divisions. Ready to go after either of those championships and show everyone just how good I am, and that my domination of the Internet Championship division was not a fluke, nor was it all that I’m capable of. In fact, it’s just the beginning.”
“The beginning of my ascent to greatness. But now? What am I to do?”
“I know, I’m going to chase this carrot. The carrot dangling in front of me and Finn. The mixed tag team titles. A division we wanted to champion and push forward at the beginning of the year that they sat there and went back and forth on if it was coming back and if it did what would the rules be? Cause back in the day, they didn’t really like people who ruled singles divisions to step in the mixed tag. That has since changed. I could have been the Internet Champion and mixed tag team champion. So now, after losing a championship that I built up and made into a prize, getting ready to restart my career in a new direction…I’m being put in a team with a man that…well…I have a personal issue with…”
Kayla throws her hands in the air pacing back and forth in anger and frustration, a full blown anger that she usually tries to hide.
”There’s no secret: Finn and I were close. Past tense. Were close. We were friends, roommates, maybe more. Truth is, I don’t know. But personal issues broke us down and I haven’t even talked to that man in two months. And now, here I am, being forced to team with him because of something we said a year ago. And even though Finn and I, separately, are incredible athletes, I don’t know what we are going to do in this match. I don’t even know if we can co-exist.”
“Finn and I are both former champions, former world champions in multiple companies. And in SCW alone, he and I have won numerous championships and Finn has been the World champion. Even a unfocused Finn Whelan is fucking dangerous. So regardless of who we are facing, you’d think we would be a threat. A threat to our opponents and a threat to the champions right?”
“Wrong…”
“Because I don’t even know if I can look at the motherfucker, let alone tag him in. And our opponents? What the shit is this? Jane and Tyler McCulligan. Are they a brother and sister twin team? A young married couple? Fucking on the side? They’re from Tennessee, so let's be real here….”
“It could be all three…”
She rolls her eyes and paces back and forth.
“These two arrogant little cockstains think they’re top shit. Nineteen years old, both, stomping around here like they’re going to be the next big things. Dreams and aspirations abound. And while part of me understands it and even respects it, I’m just in an all-around annoyed mood. See, at least these two don’t kiss peoples asses. They already have the attitude of wanting to step on people to get where they need and want to go. Normally I would applaud that and I would actually tell people straight up I was impressed. Might even give them a hearty thumbs up.”
“But this time? Nah. See not only do I want to win, which I always do, but I want to win by not even tagging in Finn.”
“Cause then I’d have to look at him.”
“So, the only way I can stop that is by grabbing Jane by her ratchet hair and beating the living hell out of her and not even giving her the opportunity to tag in Tyler. The only way is to beat the hell out of Jane to a ridiculous degree. And this ain’t personal generic mean girl plain Jane, This is a point of pride. Cause Finn and I, two veterans of the business with histories stretching back years, are facing two nineteen year old kids who think they’re top shit.”
“Truth is…we can’t lose to you.”
“This is a lose-lose situation. If we beat you, then we just beat two wet behind the ears rookies, arrogant little douchebags who think their shit doesn’t stink and who cut promos like they have stayed up all night watching Quinten Tarintino movies, but getting the pacing and dialogue all wrong. And if we win? Well shit, we just beat two kids who we are expected to beat. Even given your lives outside of all this, and the turmoil Finn and I have gone through, we should still beat you and losing to you both is frankly an option that fills me with a level of dread that I have only felt when the Starbucks barista uses whole milk in my chai…”
“Truth be told….I’m in a shitty mood and you, Jane…you are going to be the punishing bag I let all my anger out on, Tyler on the other hand? He’ll be fine…cause I don’t feel like letting Finn have any of the attention he doesn’t deserve.”
