I always looked forward to this time of the year...family reunion. I get to see everyone from my Mom's side...to my Dad's side, and everyone in between. We all gathered up on a nice brisk day in Windsor Ontario Canada where my brother, my sister, my Mom and my cousins were. I saw Colt and Brandi talking with my wife Taylor, catching up on old times as we were having a big barbecue at my Mom's Summer Home by the beach. Colt was grilling as I got myself a hot dog, looking out at the beach before me made me think on things for a while. I then heard Charles' voice as he came up to me.
Charles Hawkins: Hey, hows it going?
Griffin Hawkins: Good, just enjoying this time with the family. It's been a while since I've actually talked to them..
Charles Hawkins: As long as you never forget them, they'll always be there for you.
I continued to look out at the sea.
Griffin Hawkins: I've been...wondering something.
Charles Hawkins: What's that?
Griffin Hawkins: Am I anything like Jake Raab?
Charles Hawkins: Well I never seen you whine and cry like a baby the minute things go south for you.
Griffin Hawkins: Well not like that..but in a way we are similar. Both trying to make a name for ourselves in our own way. Trying to escape the family shadow..
Charles Hawkins: So...what are you most afraid of?
Griffin Hawkins: I just don't wanna end up like him..I mean look at how crazy its driving him..especially since his Uncle is gonna go in the Hall of Fame. He's struggling to make something of himself, I don't want that to be me.
I then notice Charles let out a laugh.
Charles Hawkins: Bro, are you shitting me? Really? You can never compare yourself to Jake Raab, it's like comparing apples to oranges.
Griffin Hawkins: ....which one am I?
Charles Hawkins: ..just focus here. The old man kicked you out when you were only 18..and he told you not to come back until you've made something of yourself, and look at you now. You're known all over the wrestling world..and you did it without the family. It's Raab who's struggling to get his name out there...so there is no comparison between you two.
Griffin Hawkins: Yeah...I guess it's still kinda stinging me that in the record books, Jake Raab holds a victory over me.
Charles Hawkins: That's why you got the chance to avenge that loss. This has nothing to do with family...this is between you and him. This kid thinks he's better than he really is, but someone like you can bring him down to earth.
Griffin Hawkins: I got no problem doing that...honestly I keep asking myself how in the hell could I lose to him...I could say it was a fluke, but that's not me. Stuff like that never happens.
Charles Hawkins: Forget what happened before and focus on now...and no pressure but the family is gonna be watching...
Griffin Hawkins: That makes me feel so much better...
Charles Hawkins: We'll be proud of you win or lose bro..until then let's just enjoy this time with the family.
I nod and walk back with Charles to join the others. I was happy to be with my family, course there were times when I needed to be there for them more than anything...
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~September 23rd, 2007~
I try and keep my family drama out of the spotlight...but it always seems to find a way to get on the radar. I had finally been wrestling to get away from my family's shadow...looking to get my name out there...I had already won my first title.
...but something happened.
Controversy seemed to have followed my family...and for once I had nothing to do with it. After seeing the media have a field day with what was going on, I decided that I was going to check and see how things were. Course, this was the first time I had ever been back home after being banished from the house.
I had to see my family.
I pulled up on my Motorcycle to the mansion where many of the paparazzi were practically camping out. I get off and head to the front door. I'm practically being mobbed with camera men and reporters asking me questions. I brush past them, not wanting to answer anything.
Griffin Hawkins: Get outta my fucking way!
I probably shouldn't have reacted like that...it's what they wanted. After what seemed like an eternity, I make it to the front door, knocking on it. I hear a female voice inside sounding frustrated.
"For the last time, no comments!"
The woman opened the door and froze when she saw me.
Patricia Hawkins: ....Griffin?....
Griffin Hawkins: ...Hi Mom, can I come in?
She slowly nods, allowing me to come inside. I take off my leather jacket, hanging it on the rack.
Patricia Hawkins: I haven't heard from you in..ages actually.
Griffin Hawkins: Well I've been meaning to come by and see how the family is..sorry it has to be under these circumstances.
Patricia Hawkins: I'm just glad to see a familiar face that's not from TMZ.
I knew I was just stalling..there was no way to beat around the bush.
Griffin Hawkins: I'm....really sorry about Dad.
Patricia Hawkins: It's okay..I'm learning to deal with it...it's a long road ahead.
Griffin Hawkins: How could Dad do this?...like seriously..Embezzling? Did he really think he wasn't gonna get caught?...this is gonna ruin the family business's reputation for sure
Patricia Hawkins: Surprisingly enough, that's not what upsets me..
Griffin Hawkins: What is it?....
She then looks down. I quickly go up to her, taking her hand.
Griffin Hawkins: Mom...tell me.
Patricia Hawkins: ....he was having an affair.
Griffin Hawkins: ...What?
Patricia Hawkins: When the Police picked him up at the restaurant he was with her..
Griffin Hawkins: Who was it? His Secretary?...
Patricia Hawkins: It was a young girl...a 21 year old girl..
I was at loss for words. I had hated Dad for many things..his abusive nature, him not being there for me, even kicking me out of my own home. But I had a reason that trumps them all, him cheating on Mom with some girl who was half his age.
Griffin Hawkins: Mom...I am so sorry...
I can see her heart breaking as she begins crying. I quickly hug her.
Griffin Hawkins: It's gonna be okay Mom..somehow this is gonna work out..
After I let go she tries to maintain her composure.
Patricia Hawkins: I kicked him out of the house...been looking up divorce lawyers.
Griffin Hawkins: That does sound like the right thing to do..
She then takes my hand.
Patricia Hawkins: Griffin...I didn't agree with how your Dad kicked you out of here..in fact I didn't agree with a lot of what he did. Whatever you want to do now...keep doing it..what matters is you're happy doing what you love.
That really meant a lot to me...Mom had always been my big supporter. She needed some happiness in her life.
Griffin Hawkins: ...I will Mom, you don't know how much your support means to me.
Patricia Hawkins: I know for sure that you'll be a better man than your Father is.
I decide to spend the rest of the day with her. I knew then that Family more than ever means the world to me. I didn't have to be part of the family legacy...but I would get my own name out there in my own way.
---------------------------------------------
I should be in the Islands, preparing for the match. But I decided to go somewhere before I make my trip to the islands...an old place full of memories, the park. The same place where I spent my youth. On this night I come into the shot as the camera man has the light on, following me. I walk over to the swing set, dressed in a leather jacket with a Amon Amarth T-Shirt on underneath and blue ripped jeans. I grab one of the chains holding up the swing and speak.
"Family...the one thing in life that drives people. Something you can't buy, something you can't steal, something you are born with. I used to come here to this park every day with my Mom and Dad..playing on the swings, going down the slide..climbing the monkey bars. Sometimes I'd wonder where I'd be without my family...years later the questions were answered when I was exiled from my home..forced to go my own way. Where would Jake Raab be without his family? Where would he be without his father, his uncle or his 57 other animals who are somehow connected to him? It's true he's had some ups and downs over the last few months, now....we meet up for the 2nd time in a row.."
I go over and sit on the swings.
"I know you're probably still gloating over the fact that you've defeated me the first time we faced off. After you beat me, you told it to Konrad Raab, you told it to Markus Raab, you told it to Momma Raab, you told it to Daddy Raab, Uncle Joe Raab with the Glass Eye, Grandpa Jimmy Jack Raab with the Iron Lung, and even Grandma Jezebel Raab with the false teeth and blue hair..you told the whole family. Yeah, you did beat me..but what in the hell have you done since then? Nothing. I went on to have a dominant reign over the summer as Roulette Champion, while you were handed chance after chance after chance that should've gone to more deserving guys and you pissed them all away. When I get opportunities, I make the best of them. When you get opportunities, you blow them. Sure, you'll get one big win..and then of course you'll allow it to go to your head, and what ends up happening? Someone else comes along and beats you and you end up going back to where you started."
I shake my head..almost disappointed.
"You're a great athlete Jake, there's no doubt about that. Anyone who beats me clean in the ring has gotta be worth something. But do you know what your main problem always is? You care WAY too much about what people think of you. Whenever someone on social media, or back in the locker room says at least one negative thing about you..you go on national television and bitch about it. This wrestling kid, this isn't Sesame Street..not everyone is gonna say something nice about you. No one is gonna pat you on the head and tell you..."good job man, keep it up!"..and send you on your way. You have to earn that recognition. If you can't handle someone criticizing you..then get the hell out of our sport. Every member of that locker room including me has had worse shit said about them..but did you see us whine and cry about it? No. We took it in stride and we went on to win championships..the same can't be said for you. If you cared less about what people said about you and more on perfecting your craft, maybe you'd have some gold by now..hell, maybe you would've beaten Ty West. But that's not to be. Nobody here respects you. And do you know why nobody in that locker room respects you Jake? Because whenever something doesn't go your way, or someone says something bad about you, you throw a great big temper tantrum like a child who just got his toys taken away..seriously, my youngest son is more mature than you. You call yourself "The Firey Target"..probably because you make yourself a target for everyone to mock you endlessly. Course after our match, we're gonna get the mother of all tantrums when I even the score and beat you in that very ring."
I slowly get up off the swings, going over to the slide. I begin climbing up as the camera man makes sure to keep his eye on me.
"While we both seem similar Jake..we are also different. Unlike you..I don't need to go "find myself" every time I lose a match. I don't need to go out and throw out challenges to the entire roster for a gauntlet match to "prove myself". A week ago you said you were gonna find yourself..but you don't even know what you are anymore Jake. I mean..you don't know if you're a wrestler, or an MMA Fighter..or even an Archery expert. Jesus Christ kid..you're trying to put eggs in 15 different baskets at once...and you haven't even filled one of them yet! You're a regular jack of all trades..and a master of none. If you actually focused on one thing..maybe you'd be better than your uncle. But instead..you shit the bed against Ty West so hard..you had no choice but to admit to yourself that he kicked your ass. Now, I may have lost to you..I admit it. But does that make you better than me? No it doesn't. Because we've seen what happens after you get too overconfident. You make a mistake and you end up counting the lights. You know what they say about people who fail to learn from history."
I begin climbing down.
"The other problem you have Raab..is you complain about everything. You act as if the whole world should roll over and kiss your ass just because you're trying to escape the Raab name. How do I know? Because at one time..I was you. I went down the same road you're going down. Angry...mad at the world..thought everybody owed me something, thought that everybody was out to get me and keep me from being successful. I see the anger and bitterness in you..and now you probably want to take all your pent up frustrations out on me. If I were you I would do the same. Because after this..win or lose, I'm gonna move on and get back the Roulette Title..while you will continue to get a decent victory here and there..but choke when it matters the most."
More than anything..I need this victory.
"See Raab...I haven't forgotten that you beat me. I've been wanting a rematch with you for the longest time. I'll admit..you did beat me fair and square in our first encounter. Anyone can lose a match...but our time in SCW went in different directions after that. I went on to win the SCW Roulette Title and hold it for four months..one of the more dominant reigns in a long time. What did you do for four months? Continue to drop the ball again..and again and again and again and again. We're at a crossroads here Jake..where will our roads go after this match? I mean..you already beat the number one contender, meanwhile I am owed a title rematch against Teddy..and he has gone through great lengths to get out of giving me my rematch because deep down he doesn't think he can beat me one on one. Lord only knows what's gonna happen after this."
I put my hands int he pockets of my jacket.
"For me Raab..I'm already out of my family's shadow. I walked away from the rich privileged life and went out and made a name for myself. You on the other hand..haven't even done that. And in an ironic twist, your Uncle is going in the Hall of Fame while you can't even make anything of yourself. When people say my name in SCW..they put some respect on it..when they say your name, they laugh at you. But you got a chance to make it all right...by beating me for the second time in a row and who knows..just maybe you'll be in conversation for the Roulette Title. And as much as you try and say over and over you don't want title chances handed to you despite them being given anyway...I know you want some gold around your waist...but that don't mean you'll beat me again."
I knew I couldn't allow myself to slip and let Raab beat me again...
"Now I know usually whenever someone says their promo..you have some kind of rebuttal for them on the next episode of Climax Control because you just have to get the last word in. But the truth is Jake...the last word will be me holding my arms up in victory when I leave you laying on the mat. I have been waiting for months to shut you up once and for all, because just about everyone in that SCW locker room is sick and tired of listening to you whine and complain to management whenever you don't get your way. It's time for you to put up or finally..shut the fuck up. So don't think for one second I'm looking past you to get to Teddy...because I am focused one hundred percent on you. You beat me once...bravo...but this time around...The Firey Target is gonna get rocked."
I walk away from the scene as the camera crew pack up their equipment and leave.
