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The Boys Are Back In Town
Location: UCSB Events Center; Santa Barbara, California
#NP "Swagger" by Flogging Molly
Speaker: Mickey Carroll
Tonight was bloody perfect, mate. We put on a show for the ages, and they was eating it up. We ‘ad everything, and we gave everything. In case ye don’t pay attention to anything that doesn’t involve yew, which is ninety-nine fuckin’ percent of ye bleedin’ bellends, allow me to recap it for ye. We came out and tried to explain why we should ‘ave been in the main event of Climax Control tonight. Before we could even get a word in edgewise, those wankers, Dax Beckett, Andrew Garcia, and… the dreaded up one that no one ever remembers the name of, come out and try to act as if we ‘aven’t a right to say that we defeated them at Inception II. We ‘ad a legitimate match where we not only outwrestled them, but we also outsmarted them, which isn’t very hard. They ran their mouths just a bit longer than I could tolerate, and Gi and I brought the fight to them.
We ‘ad plans fer them, so we ‘ad to pretend that they was giving us a good fuckin’ kickin’. We brought it all over the place. It wound up in the ladies locker room, where I got dunked in some kinda voodoo potion thing, which somehow made me that much more beautiful. It might seem impossible, but it somehow happened. I’m drop dead gorgeous now. Right Mercy?
If you say so, Mickey...
It’s true. Anyway, Gi got the piss slapped out of ‘im by Jessie Salco, which wasn’t in the script, but it was hilarity at it’s best. Anyway, we went to the boiler room, tore it up, and went to meet up with Xander Bishop. Yes, the loudmouth sonuvabitch that’s been stirring up controversy all over the place. In a nutshell, an obvious choice for Bad Boys. It seemed like a coincidence at first, even though the white hood was there all along. Dax was showboating, because he’s not smart enough to actually make sure his opponents are down before shoving ‘is foot in his mouth. To be quite honest, we was supposed to have a bit where we leave Dax hanging like Bishop was gonna maybe help him. It was gonna be funny, but that didn’t happen with the loose cannon that is Xander Bishop. We fucked up their bloody lives before moving on to celebrate our victory. That brings us to now. Xander, Gi, and me’self are standing around, lookin’ at the finest girls in all of SCW, Mercedes Vargas, and Veronica Taylor. I guess Delia isn’t half that bad either. Anyway, we’re ‘aving a good laugh at the expense of Dying Breed, featuring Dax Beckett., and I ‘ave to admit, it’s been pretty futile trying to catch our breath.
Xander: And playa was like “Oh no, bruh! I… I… I…â€
Giani: Tuh-tuh-tuh-tuhhhhdayyyyy JUUUUUUUUUUUNYA! Bam! Shuffle n’ scuffle bro. Fuhgeddaboudit!!!
I’m about to let out some true Mickey Carroll wisdom right now, when suddenly, Ms. Rocky Mountains appears out of nowhere. She has a microphone in hand, and a cameraman ready to record everything we’ve got to say. Xander stares at her for a moment, while Giani leans in and kisses on Veronica. I wrap me arms around Mercedes, which kind of surprises her. I pull a cigarette from me pocket and flip it into me mouth. I light it and look right at Rocky.
Me: Yer seriously coming into our locker room, ruining our celebration by asking a bunch of ed-jit questions?
Rocky: Nobody saw this coming, I'll give you that. But, what people are really wanting to know is your thoughts on your match next week?
Me: So… the guys upstairs is finally ready to admit that Bad Boys deserves a shot at the tag team titles? We knew it was only a matter of time before they remembered that we won a match against Dying Breed, a team that just got a title match last week…
Rocky: Actually, that's not happening, not next week anyway. You and Mercedes Vargas will be taking on Dax Beckett and Celeste North in mixed tag action.
I laugh, because it's obviously a joke. Isn't it? I mean, it ‘as to be. Except she's not laughing along with me and Mercy. It's still funny though.
Me: So let me get this straight… Me and this lovely lady right here get to ‘ave a go at it with Dax and Celeste? Is this a bloody joke? It feels like a joke, because there's no way that they expect this to be a challenge. What ‘as Celeste even done lately? As a matter of fact, the last time she was in the ring, she lost to Mercy. The last time I was in the ring with Dax, I beat him. They can't be serious in booking this match. Unless they are trying to push Dax and Celeste out of the company by putting them against two of the biggest stars in SCW history. We will tear them down to size and show them exactly where they belong. Next week, we're going to prove why Mean Girls run the show, and why Bad Boys are the SCW standard. And if Dying Breed ‘as something to say about what ‘appened tonight, then we can all settle it next week.
Mercedes laughs at this, shaking her head. She steps from out of my arms as she steps up to the microphone, leaning down into it as she speaks.
Mercedes: You know what Dax, Andrew, and Ivan have in common? They always end up at the wrong place at the wrong time. Obviously, they didn’t learn what happened to them the LAST time they got put in their place. Tonight was a swift reminder where that place was - and that’s below the Bad Boys.[/b]
That was basically the mic drop of the evening. Nothing else is needed, yet Rocky doesn't leave. We decide to just leave for the after party, leaving her to stand there, speechless.
