New years eve eve. Yes, two eves, not one, two, cause it's the day before New Years Eve, keep up. One of the best cities in the world to be in on one of those occasions, and the following day, is London, England and that's where this story begins. New year in London is a great occasion, the people come together, gather on the shores of the river Themes and watch one of the best firework displays in the world, ignoring the always cold weather just to see the spectacular fireworks to see the next year in. No one puts on a show like London, and this year would be no different as on a boat in the river, a certain singer will be filling the air with his vocal tones as fireworks explode above him. That singer, you've guessed it cause you guys are totally smart, is Alex Rush. People just don't turn up to sing though, a lot goes in to it and that's what you're gonna see.
The camera opens up along the south bank of the river as a small shiny toy car can be seen with bright headlights lighting up the way in front of car. Moving in closer shows the face of Alex Rush sitting in the car, his legs hanging from the side of the model gold Ferrari, the car more akin to what you would give your kids for Christmas. In front of it sits a tablet, stuck to the front of the car facing him, and an open bottle of champagne sits in the eccentric rock stars fingers. On his lap shows a bag of some sort. The camera moves in to show Alex wearing a T-shirt with the words "I survived an Alex Rush Party" on the front. Strangely, his legs can be seen exposed at the side of the car and a Santa hat sits on his head. He reaches in to the bag as people look at him slowly moving past and reaches in, pulling out candy canes and throwing them to a group of partiers walking along the street.
Alex: Merry new year!
Alex turns and grins forward as he draws strange looks from the crowd, some recognise him and point towards him as he stops next to a car, his toy car dwarfed by the size of the real car. A woman looks out the window, a cocked eyebrow as she looks at him.
Alex: Hello sweet cheeks, well I think they're sweet cause ya mooey ain't bad, so the caboose has gotta be decent.
He taps his chin, looking curiously up at the sky.
Alex: Although I've been mugged off like that before, when the face was banging, but the 'aris was flatter than a witches tit.
He turns his head to the woman looking out of the car.
Alex: Mind whacking ya 'aris out the window love so I can see if me sweet cheeks comment is alright or if I jumped the gun.
The car drives off away from Alex, but the woman does smile before it moves away.
Alex: Yeah, she so wanted it.
A noise distracts Alex from the front of him, a ringing sound, causing the look messy haired rock star to look around curiously. He looks under his arm pits before he looks in to the bag, looking for the source of the ringing. He looks in to the neck of the champagne bottle, still looking for the sound before putting his ear to the bottle.
Alex: Nope, not in there.
As he looks up, he sees the screen of his tablet lit up to see the name Kale on front of it. He taps away at the front of the familiar face of Kale Smith appears on the front of the tablet. Alex grins at his Australian friend.
Alex: Well fuck a duck!
Alex turns to a woman walking past in her forties, who overhears his comment and raises an eyebrow at him.
Alex: Not you madam.
Alex grins from ear to ear as he looks at her.
Alex: Unless you're in to humping feathery things.
He chugs past the woman in the car and lifts the champagne bottle to his lips and takes a swig out of it and looks at the Australian's face across the screen.
Kale: You fucked a duck?
Alex rolls his eyes up, looking at the sky before looking down at Kale.
Alex: Technically, it was some Doris dressed as a duck and she quacked a lot while humping, but it was her fetish, not mine.
Kale's pulls his head away from the camera and looks at Alex with a look of confusion.
Kale: Did I catch ya at a bad time mate?
Kale's eyes dart around, trying to see where Alex is and make sense of the background, but the bright London lights blur the surroundings.
Alex: Nah, I'm just driving down the South Bank in a little car, with a bottle of booze, in me pants handing out treats to the good people of London on my way to a sound check on the river.
Alex reaches in to the bag and pulls out more candy canes, throwing them towards a crowd walking along.
Alex: Merry new year to you!
He turns his attention back towards Kale.
Kale: So pretty standard night then.
Alex takes a swig out of the bottle of champagne and grins.
Kale: Can't ya get done for drunk driving over there?
Alex: Nah mate, it's just a toy car, besides, I ain't like drunk yet. I gotta do me sing thing and I can't get drunk to do that.
Kale: At ya last show, you was so sloshed, you tried to sing in to the wrong end of the microphone.
Alex clinches his fist and waves it in the air, looking up and yelling at the top of his lungs.
Alex: Damn you, Youtube!
Alex snaps his head down towards the road as he moves along a little, most people overtaking him on foot.
Kale: Anyway mate, I just called because it's New Years Eve and wanted to say Happy New Year.
Alex: It's not New Years Eve you silly rabbit, it's New Years Eve Eve.
Kale: Not where I am mate.
Alex stops the model car and looks at the screen.
Alex: Are you in the future?
Kale rolls his eyes as he looks at the camera.
Kale: I wish mate. I'm in Australia, the times are different, we've had this conversation before.
Alex: You was in the future then so it didn't count.
Alex playfully pokes his tongue out at Kale, causing the former SCW star to smile.
Kale: Also mate, good luck in that match SCW booked you in.
Alex looks slightly confused but quickly snaps his fingers.
Alex: Oh yeah! Against the X-Men leader type guy! I wonder how they're gonna get his wheelchair in the ring.
Kale runs his hand over his forehead, shaking his head.
Kale: That's not who you're facing.
Alex: But both their names begin with the same letter and I thought there was only one person in the world who would have cruel enough parents to make their kids name start with an X.
Kale: Completely different bloke, mate.
Alex taps his chin and lifts the bottle of champagne up to his lips and takes a swig.
Alex: Then I do not know a lot about this fella, cause I spent all week watching The X-Men movies to prepare and now I find out I can't let down tires to slow him down. I also would have preferred to face Deadpool cause that mucker cracks me up.
Kale: You spent a week watching movies and not like checking out this guy?
Alex: Well movies as fun, even the ones without titties bouncing on the screen, even though they help the economy by keeping lube companies and Kleenex in business.
Kale: So what do you know about this fella?
Alex: That he really likes to tweet a lot, even with no one talking to him. That donut tweeted me constantly over and over again, with stuff that like might have mattered to his mumsie or something but just sat there giving himself achy fingers by tweeting all the time. I read his bio and he seems like an alright kinda mush, but so much tweeting. It's like steady on mate, ain't ya got something better to do than tweet ya opponent like all the time.
Kale: Trying to get a rise out of ya mate.
Alex: Shoulda sent me some random brass's nudies and that would have worked to get a rise out of me.
Kale: Different kinda rise, mate.
Alex pokes his lip out with a pout.
Alex: Well, that's disappointing.
Kale: How'd ya plan on beating him then?
Alex: I run around the ring like a greyhound with an itchy bum, make him wonder what the bloody hell I'm doing, then kick him square in the jacksey when he's not looking, and the shock will make him seize up and I win.
Kale busts out laughing and Alex raises the bottle towards him.
Kale: Do you take anything seriously?
Alex shakes his head really fast as he stops the car.
Alex: Like is too short me ol' China. Observe.
Alex stops the car and places the bottle of champagne on the sidewalk and reaches in to the bag with both hands as crowds walk past him, turning their head towards him.
Alex: Candy canes for all!
Alex pulls out two handfuls of candy canes and throws them in the air, showering the streets of London with candy canes. He puts his hands in again and throws more in various directions. He reaches for the bottle and puts his thumb over the top and shakes it, moving his thumb and spraying champagne straight up in the air, most of it falling down on his head.
Alex: Merry birthday world! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Alex looks back towards his smiling Australian friend, champagne dripping down his face.
Alex: It is the world birthday right?
Kale just gives Alex a slow nod, causing the crazy rock star to fire a thumbs up towards him.
Alex: Right mate, I'm where I'm meant to be so will give you a ding dong a little bit later. Merry New Year mate.
Kale: Same to you.
Alex stands up, standing crotch height with the still running camera, showing no pants on the rock stars lower legs, just a pair of briefs with a cartoon image of himself on them and the slogan "I think I've been here before" writing on them. (Available in the SCW Shop... No serious, people buy me pants!) The camera starts to fade but Kale's voice can still be heard.
Kale: Alex, ya nuts are in me face, get ya balls outta me grill! Alex! Alex!
The camera fades out.
