The sun beats down on an undisclosed location. Nothing can be seen around the side of a road, just mountains to the side of the road and dust blowing along. The camera moves in to see SCW's currently injured star, Kale Smith, standing at the side of empty highway, looking impatiently at his watch.
Kale: Where is this Galah?
Kale looks at his watch once more and looks in to the distance, seeing nothing.
Kale: And why the bloody hell did he want me to meet him in the middle of nowhere?
A train whistle blows in the distance, causing Kale to look down the road. Squinting his eyes, he sees something slowly moving down the road. The camera focuses on the look of disbelief on Kale's face as the object gets nearer. The camera turns around to see the object up close to show Alex Rush sitting on a miniature train, a wide smile painted on the front of the train, with one carriage behind it, while wearing a top hat and bright red neck scarf from his neck up, the hat only covering part of his messy hair. His upper body is covered by a black mesh see through shirt, and his lower by black leather pants. He stops the mini train next to Kale and puts his arm up and quickly pulls it down twice.
Alex: Choo! Choo! ALLLLLLLLLLLLL ABOARD!
Kale stands stunned for a second.
Kale: What the fuck?
Alex: It's me new wheels, you like?
Kale grins towards Alex.
Kale: Fucking aye! Where'd ya get that from?
Alex looks all innocent as he stares up at the standing Kale.
Alex: Kids party. I was just walking along, and it was there and no one was guarding it, and I thought blimey, it's a shame to just leave Thomas the Tank Engine just sitting there, so I left a note, a hundred in that monopoly money they use here and I am now the proud owner of me choo choo here.
Kale: Fuckin' oath!
Alex: I shall name him Hobnob!
Kale: Nice to meet ya Hobnob.
Alex: Choo! Choo! That's him saying alright mate.
Kale: So why'd the bloody hell you get me to meet ya all the way out here. There's nothing around here for miles.
Alex: Oh there is! There's titty boom booms out here mate!
Kale looks around, looking at the desolate area and looking back at Alex.
Kale: There's nothing around here.
Alex: There is my kangaroo loving friend. I got this text from these dolly's, and it said meet us in the desert for some fun, and there's like four of them, right? And I know four is usually below me average for a night, but I'm feeling a little bit tired today, so I thought I'd give you a bell me old mucker, and get you some action.
Kale: I like a Sheila, mate.
Alex: I don't think any of their names are Sheila, but we'll ask 'em after the fact.
Alex lifts the top hat and points it towards Kale.
Alex: Now welcome to the Hobnob express.
He points the hat towards the carriage behind and Kale shrugs his shoulders before getting on the carriage behind.
Alex: I know it's a bit basic back there, but I do plan on putting a hot tub back there someday soon.
Kale scratches his head as Alex makes the train move forward, looking along the road before quickly turning off on to a dirt road.
Kale: Do you know where ya going, sport?
Alex shakes his head.
Alex: Nah, but how big can the desert be anyway?
Kale shrugs his shoulders as Alex chugs along.
Kale: 'Ere mate, shouldn't you be thinking about that battle royal you're in?
Alex: I have mate. I've been thinking, what makes it so royal? Do I have to turn up dressed in a crown and a robe and date like a queen?
Kale: Nah mate, it's just a name.
Alex: Ah good, cause the only queens I know, have a little bit extra. Ya know, down in the pants area. I ain't got nothing against that, I just don't want that poking me in the back in the morning.
Kale: Truth mate, but ya got some rough guys in that match.
Alex: I have?
Kale: Yeah, ya got Steve Ramone in there, he's won a few things.
Alex: He's the mush knobbing the porn star, right? I don't think I wanna fight the fella, I might wanna give him a high five and give him some advice that two porn stars are better than one, been there, done that, got stains all over me T-shirt.
Kale: What about Casey Williams?
Alex: Well, he is a bit of a lump, but I can beat him by growing a beanstalk.... And I ain't talking about me knob, let him climb it, take me axe out... Still not talking about me knob, chop it down and if the story is right, he won't get back up. Who else is there?
Kale: Samuel Deveroux?
Alex frowns as the train moves on through the desolate land.
Alex: I tried watching one of his promos once, and it's like Harry Potter. I never got that and I don't think I can get him either. None of it makes sense. I mean, the guy has magic or something? The guy isn't real but turns up anyway. I don't get him.
Kale: Ryan Keys is in the match.
Alex: Oh I like him. Nice fella, I don't wanna face him. He's a good lad.
Kale: How about Kain?
Alex: Oh he's not a good lad.... Wait, are we talking about the guy from the bible? Cause he was a right bastard knocking off his brother like that. Defo don't like that bellend.
Kale: And Chris Shipman?
Alex: Sick fucker he is. He beat me a while ago if I remember right,, but I could have been drunk. I'd love to eliminate him and do a happy dance in the ring, then go to the strip club to celebrate it, and might even get a tattoo saying I beat him! Anyone else in there?
Kale: Just Despayre?
Alex: Damn, well that's me fucked and everyone else in the ring. That little mush is pretty good. He don't lose much. To beat him, I'm going to need ninja turtle power, and maybe a feather.
Kale: And a cannon.
Alex: That too!
Kale looks around, seeing just a wooden looking shack to one side, music playing out of it and a sign on top saying "Beer." He taps Alex on the shoulder.
Kale: You think they could be in there mate?
Alex reaches in to his pocket as he stops the train. He pulls out his phone and scrolls through the messages.
Alex: Doesn't say, look.
He hands Kale the phone and Kale reads the message before rolling his eyes.
Kale: 'ere mate?
Alex: Yes...
Kale: It says dessert, not desert.
Alex: Well slap my arse and call me Susie. What's in an S anyway?
Kale: Bloody hell!
Alex looks at the shack opposite them and points.
Alex: There might be titty boom boom in there. We should go find out!
The two jump off the train and head towards the bar as we fast forward, the day turning in to night and back in to the daytime. The camera spins around to show Kale Smith hugging a cactus, the needles pressed close against his skin as he sits with a blanket around his head and upper body. He starts to stir.
Kale: What the fuck?
He looks around to see Alex laying face down nearby.
Kale: Wake up man.
Alex starts to stir, pushing himself to his knees and too his feet, stumbling around.
Kale: Where the fuck are we and what the fuck did we do last night.
Alex: I got a more pressing issues me ol' mucker.
Kale: What's that?
Alex: Where the fuck are me strides?
Kale turns his head to see Alex's pants are missing. The camera stays behind Alex, capturing the look of disgust on Kale's face, and Alex's bare arse as the camera fades out.
