[Alexis Edwards]

 After High Stakes VI

I guess I can’t really say that I’m surprised by that outcome.  I worked my ass off.  I fought like hell and actually believed I could beat Sam and Mikah, but I guess I was wrong, huh?  Mikah ended up pinning Sam and me?  I just became an after thought.  Not that I’m not used to that anyway.  I’m not even a Nobody anymore, but still sort of used to the whole feelings that come with being considered one, past or present.

Mikah tried to pin me in the ring tonight.  Using a damn DDT, no less.  I wasn’t going to let it happen either way, but Sam Marlowe pulled Mikah off of me.  I thought I had enough time to sort of shake the stars that I was seeing away.  DDT or not, when you get dropped on your head like that, you’re always seeing something.  But before I knew it, the same damn thing was happening to Sam Marlowe, but she didn’t kick out of it and the damn bell was ringing soon after.  

I couldn’t believe it.  I quietly rolled out of the ring and headed backstage, watching as Mikah’s hand was being raised in victory and the fans were cheering for her as she celebrated.  Disappointed isn’t even the right word to describe how I feel right now, but who cares right?  I certainly don’t.  I just want to get the hell out of this arena and out of Los Angeles.  The sooner Tim and I get back to Vegas, the sooner we can get married, and right now?  That’s all I’m trying to think about.

Speaking of Tim, he and Celeste are waiting for me just outside the Bombshell locker room.  Tim takes one look at me and I know he can tell how disappointed I’m feeling.  He pushes himself away from the wall and walks up to me.

Tim: Babe, you did great out there.  Don’t be disappointed at all.

Celeste nods in agreement.

Celeste: He’s right you know.  And besides, you weren’t the one to get pinned.  Sam Marlowe was.

I shake my head and roll my eyes at the two.  I know they’re trying to make me feel better, but at this point, nothing will.

Lex: I appreciate you guys trying to make me feel better, but it really doesn’t matter right now.  Sure I didn’t get pinned, but I couldn’t prevent Sam from getting pinned now could I?  And I had to walk backstage listening to the fans actually cheering for Mikah.

Tim: Don’t be so hard on yourself.  You did great and we’re proud of you regardless.  This isn’t the end of the world.

Lex: No, it’s not, but it’s not exactly a great feeling, either.  This is my fucking third loss in a row and it was probably the most important match I needed.  Losing to Evie Baang was hard enough, but not winning this triple threat match against Mikah and Sam?  Not exactly how I wanted to end the night.

I close my eyes and bring my hand up to my forehead and Tim instinctively wraps his arms around me, pulling me close.  It sort of helps me feel better, but I’m still disappointed and actually feel like crying.  

Tim: Just dust this one off, babe.  Move on to the next and bounce back.  You can do it.  I have faith in you.  And besides, we’ve got something more important to focus on once we get back to Las Vegas, remember?

I pull back a little bit and smile as I look at him.  He’s smiling back and before I can respond, Celeste walks up to us, wrapping an arm around each of our shoulders.  She, too, smiles.  She’s happier than I’m used to seeing her, but I think that guy Dax has something to do with that.

Celeste: Yeah, like getting you two hitched!  That’s something to get your mind off of everything, right Lex?

I laugh and nod.

Lex: Yeah, I guess it is.  And it’s not that I’m not excited about it.  It’s just going to take me a minute to get over this loss tonight.

Tim: You’ll be fine.  And I think once we get married, you’ll start feeling a lot better.

Celeste takes a step back and I nod as I lean in a give Tim a quick kiss.

Lex: Yeah, you’re probably right.  Too bad you’re not back to the active roster right now.  Me and you being the next power couple could really help me out even more.

I smirk at him and offer him a wink and he laughs.

Tim: Maybe someday, babe.  Now why don’t you go get your stuff so we can get out of here?

Lex: Alright.  Give me a few minutes.

I quickly disappear into the locker room, heading over to where my belongings are sitting.  I’m tempted to take a quick shower before we leave, but I know I can do that when we get back to the hotel room.  I start putting my thinks back in my duffel bag when I hear my phone ringing from inside.  I dig through my things until I find my phone and see that Riley is calling me.  Great.  Just what I needed.  I’m tempted to let it go to voicemail, but knowing my sister, she won’t give up so I answer the call instead, putting it on speaker and setting it on the bench as I finish packing my stuff.

Lex: What’s up, Riley?

Riley: That match was so great, Lexi!  I’m so proud of you even though what’s her name won!

I shake my head with a laugh.

Lex: Mikah.  Her name is Mikah.

Riley: Oh whatever.

I can almost hear her shoulders shrugging through the phone as I zip my duffel bag closed.

Lex: Is that all you called me for, Riley?

Riley: Of course not, sis!  I just wanted to know when I’m supposed to pick you up this week?!

Say what now?  I raise my eyebrow even though she can’t see it and I take my phone in my hand.

Lex: I’m sorry, what?  What are you talking about?

Riley: For Thanksgiving!  It’s this week, remember?!  You said you’d be home in Phoenix this year and Mom is so excited!

I smack my hand against my forehead, having completely forgotten about that promise I made.  I’ve been so caught up in this mess with Jordan and now getting married to Tim that I forgot Thanksgiving was already here.

Lex: Shit, I completely forgot.  Look, Riley, I know I promised but--

Riley: But WHAT?!  You can’t back out on this!  It’s Thanksgiving and you haven’t been here in like three years!

I can sense that Riley is on the verge of a complete freak out and I’m tempted to tell her my plans to marry Tim, but I’m not quite ready for that yet.  I take in a deep breath and let out a sigh.

Lex: Alright, relax.  I’ll just have to postpone some plans I made, that’s all.  I’ll be there.

Riley squeals loudly, and for a moment I thought our two year old little brother, Oliver, had stolen the phone from her.  I can’t help but laugh as I pick up my duffel bag, slinging the strap over my shoulder.

Riley: Yay!  I’m so freaking happy right now!  This is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever!!!

Lex: Yeah, sure.  Look, I need to get going.  I need to head back to the hotel and get some sleep.  Tim and I have an early drive back to Vegas in the morning.

Riley: Okay, sis!  Tell Tim I said hi!

Lex: Will do.  I’ll see you in a few days, sis.

Riley squeals again and I end the call and return my phone to my pocket.  I take in a deep breath and head for the door.  Tim is waiting for me outside, but Celeste is nowhere to be found.  I look around, confused, but he answers my question before I can even ask.

Tim: She had to go find Delia.  She said she’d meet us back in Vegas.  Who were you talking to in there?

I roll my eyes.

Lex: Riley called me.  Soo...we’re gonna have to postpone our plans to get married for at least a few days.  I sort of forgot that I promised them I’d go back to Phoenix for Thanksgiving.  I tried to back out of it but--

Tim: It’s no big deal, babe.  What’s one more week, right?  She wouldn’t have let you back out of it anyway.  Besides, it gives us a little extra time to plan everything.

Lex: We don’t have to plan much.  I don’t need some big huge affair out of this.  All that matters is that we get married, okay?

Tim smiles and nods.

Tim: I couldn’t agree more.  By the way, did you ever find Austin Parker?  I thought you were going to talk to him about being your manager?

I shake my head, suddenly reminded of my disappointing night.  I had planned on going to speak to Austin tonight, but it would have been a lot better had I done so following a big victory.

Lex: Yeah, I’m just going to forget that.  It’s kinda pointless now, so why bother?

Tim’s jaw drops open slightly but he holds himself back from protesting, though I can clearly tell he wants to.  I adjust the strap of my duffel bag over my shoulder, but Tim quickly takes it from me, putting it over his own shoulder to carry it for me.

Tim: We’ll talk about that later.  Let’s just get back to the hotel and get some rest before we head back home tomorrow morning.

Lex: I’m really glad you said that, because I really want to just take a hot shower and crash right now.

He wraps his free arm around my shoulder and we turn towards the exit.

Tim: Alright, let’s go.

He kisses my forehead and then we head down the hall towards the exit to the parking lot.  A few minutes later we’re back in the car and on our way to the hotel.  If we didn’t have the room for one more night, I’d suggest we just make it a late night back to Vegas, but I’m sure he’s just as tired as I am so the hotel bed sounds much more comfortable right now.



Thanksgiving Day
Phoenix, Arizona
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Who’d have thought I’d be spending Thanksgiving back in Phoenix this year.  Just a year ago I never wanted to come back to Phoenix, let alone see my family ever again, but things have changed over the last several months.  After my stint in rehab and I made amends with my family, I promised Riley and my parents that I’d be home for Thanksgiving and, more than likely, Christmas as well.  It was a promise I couldn’t go back on.

So, here I am sitting on the sofa in the home I grew up in.  Aside from a few decorating changes here and there, not much has changed in the three years since I’ve lived here.  Well, except for the fact that I now have a two year old little brother running around getting into everything.  He zooms past the sofa, holding something laughing and giggling and a few seconds later, Riley rushes after him.

Riley: Oliver!  Bring that back here!

Oliver lets out a high pitched squealing laugh, and I can’t help but let out a laugh of my own.  I admit when I first found out about him, I wasn’t at all thrilled, but it was hard not to love the kid once I got to spend some time with him.  And sure, he may be going through his terrible two stage, but he still has his moments where he can be a sweetheart.  

Lex: What does he have, Riley?!

Riley: He took the pie off the table!  Oliver!  Stop running!  You’re going to trip and--

**CRASH!!**

Riley: ….drop the pie.

Oliver: Ooops...

I burst out laughing as I hear the pie dish crashing against the floor and Oliver’s hilarious response after.  My mother comes rushing into the room a moment later, looking for him but I point to the other room behind me and she rushes away, shaking her head.  

Riley: Well...so much for pumpkin pie this year.

Riley walks back into the room, holding Oliver.  He’s still smiling brightly and laughing and I can hear our mother cleaning up the broken glass in the other room.  Riley sits down next to me, trying to keep Oliver in her lap, but a fidgeting two year old little boy is harder than it sounds.  He manages to squirm out of her grasp a few moments later, and she lets him run off into the other room, shaking her head.

Riley: It’s your turn to chase after him.

I hold up my hands and shake my head.

Lex: No thanks.  I’ll pass.

She shoves me and we both laugh.  Oliver comes running back into the room a moment later as our mother disappears back into the kitchen to finish cooking.  He quickly gets distracted by one of his toys across the room, and Riley keeps a close watch on him as I take the time to relax.  I close my eyes and go quiet.

Riley: You’ve been awfully quiet today, Lexi.  Are you okay?

I should have known she’d question me on my silence throughout the day.  I’m not really okay, but I’m not going to let Riley give me the third degree about it, either.

Lex: Not really, Ri, but I don’t really want to talk about it.  Especially not today.

Riley: Is this about Tim?  Is everything okay between the two of you?  Because if it’s not and if he hurt you in any way--

I immediately hold up my hand and she goes silent and turns her attention back to Oliver as he plays with his toys across the room.

Lex: Tim’s fine.  We’re fine.  Better than fine actually.

Riley turns her head and looks at me as she tries to watch Oliver from the corner of her eye.  I really hope she doesn’t ask me anymore questions.

Riley: Better than fine, huh?  Tell me all about it, sis!

Of course she’d want to know all about it.  She’s my identical twin.  She has to know these things.  And as much as I want to keep the truth from her, I know I’ll never be able to.  She’s always been the one with the twin ESP stuff, so she’ll sense I’m lying no matter what.  It’s best I just get it over with and tell her my plans, because it won’t change my mind.

Lex: Look, if I tell you something, you can’t go telling Mom and Dad, alright?

Riley fidgets excitedly and she glances over to Oliver before turning her attention back to me.

Riley: Oooh!  A secret!  I love secrets!

Lex: Yeah, when you can keep them!  I’m serious, Riley.

Oliver: Gobble!  Gobble!

Riley and I quickly turn our attention to Oliver as he suddenly starts sounding like a turkey.  We look at each other and laugh and before we know it, Oliver runs off into the kitchen and continues his turkey impression.  Riley shakes her head before she looks back to me.

Riley: Okay, okay.  I won’t say anything.  What’s going on?  OMG...DON’T TELL ME YOUR PREG--

I quickly cup my hand over her mouth before she has a chance to yell that complete nonsense out and cause my mother to freak out.

Lex: Would you calm down and shut up?!  I’m NOT pregnant!

I respond under a hushed voice as I pull my hand away from her mouth.  Her eyes return to normal and she takes in a deep breath.

Riley: Sorry!  Okay...so tell me what’s going on.

Lex: Damn, why do people automatically freak out and assume I’m pregnant when I’m about to say something?  I’m not that stupid to go and get myself knocked up...

Riley: Well, you wanted me to keep it a secret from Mom and Dad so...what else am I supposed to think?  They probably wouldn’t make a big deal about anything else...

I laugh as I run my hand through my hair with an awkward look on my face.

Lex: Maybe, maybe not.  I think their daughter getting married without them there might be a bit of a problem.  But, maybe I’m wrong.

I just casually let the words come out of my mouth and I keep my eyes locked on Riley’s face the entire time.  Her jaw drops open and she’s lost for words.  I’m almost expecting her to let out an excited squeal, but she doesn’t.  Instead, she frowns quickly and slaps my arm angrily.

Riley: You’re joking, right?!

My jaw drops now and I rub my arm because she actually hit me pretty hard.

Lex: Ow...And no.  I’m not joking.  Tim and I are getting married.

Riley: When were you planning on telling me this?!  Or, were you not going to tell me at all?!  You don’t want me to be there, do you?!

I let out a sigh as Riley starts to freak out and raise her voice.  Luckily for me, my mother is too busy cooking in the kitchen and I can now hear my father trying to distract Oliver, so they don’t hear her.

Lex: Riley, it’s really nothing personal, alright?  I just don’t want to make a huge deal out of this or have too many people there.  I just want to marry Tim, because he and I are the only two that matter in this case, okay?

Riley: No, it’s not alright!  I’m not saying you have to have this huge wedding or anything, but I’m your sister!  Your TWIN sister!  I should be there for you.  As long as you’re happy, I’m not going try and talk you out of it or anything.  I mean, I can see that Tim makes you happy and vice versa, but still.

Riley looks even more disappointed and upset than I did after my loss at High Stakes VI.  She looks genuinely hurt with my decision to leave her out of my wedding to Tim and I can’t help but roll my eyes and let out a sigh.  She really has a way of making me feel guilty.

Lex: Look, if you want to be there, you can be there.  I’m not going to tell you you can’t.  But, please, don’t try and make this a huge thing, alright?  We’re just going to find some chapel in Vegas and get married and our friend Celeste is going to be there.  That’s it.

Riley throws her arms around me and I roll my eyes again.  She may be my identical twin, but we’re like night and day, I swear.

Riley: I won’t make a big deal about it, I promise!  I just want to be there for you and Tim!

Mother: Girls!  Dinner is ready!

Lex: We’ll be right there!

We both stand up from the sofa and before heading into the dining room, I turn to Riley.

Lex: Remember.  Not a word about this, alright?  If Mom asks why you’re coming to Vegas next week, just say it’s for a visit or something.

Riley does the old “cross my heart” hand signal and I laugh.  We don’t say another word as we disappear into the dining room where our parents and Oliver are already seated in their spots.



Thursday December 1st
Las Vegas
12 A.M
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Fast forward a week later, and it’s the night before Tim and I are going to get married.  I wanted to stay in my apartment tonight to get some sleep, but Riley wouldn’t allow that.  She doesn’t particularly care for my less than average apartment, so she took it upon herself to get the two of us a suite at the Venetian.  The Bella suite, no less.  It’s the damn Venetian!  And when I tried to argue, she wouldn’t let me, so here we are.

Riley is sound asleep in one of the queen beds in the room, and I should be sleeping in the other.  I don’t know if it’s nerves or the fact that we’re in a hotel room that is a lot nicer than my apartment, but I couldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard I tried, so I’m stretched out on the sofa, staring at the ceiling.  I can’t believe that in just twelve hours Tim and I would be saying “I Do”, and something tells me that if I don’t get any sleep soon, I’ll get a good scolding about the dark circles that will surely be under my eyes later in the morning.  

I roll over onto my side and close my eyes.  It’s not exactly an ideal place to sleep, but who cares, right?  I lay there for several minutes, trying to fall asleep when my phone starts ringing.  My eyes shoot open, immediately thinking that Tim is having just as much trouble falling asleep as I am so he has decided to call me.  But when I grab my phone off of the coffee table in front of me, I frown when I see the number.  I debate sending the call to voicemail, but against my better judgement, I answer.

Lex: Jordan, what part of--

I immediately hear weeping on the other end of the phone before Jordan starts talking, interrupting me before I have a chance to finish what I was saying.

Jordan: I jssst wannnted to callll and say I’m sssorry for errvything, Lexus.

Okay.  She’s slurring on her words.  Bad.  This can’t be good.  I shoot up on the sofa, immediately worried, and I’m vaguely aware that Riley is starting to wake up.

Lex: Jordan?  Jordan, what is going on?  What did you take?

She had to have relapsed.  That’s the only explanation, and after how hard she worked to get clean in rehab, I can’t sit back and let this happen.  She giggles on the phone and I hear a bottle clinking in the background.

Jordan: Taake?  Meeeee?  I dint take nuuthin!  Yet..

More giggles.  Shit.  This is bad.

Jordan: Buut thisss bottle of voka was prettttty damn tastyyy.

I keep the phone latched to my ear as I search around for my shoes.  Riley has now gotten out of bed and is staring at me as I’m quickly putting on my shoes in a panic.

Lex: Jordan, where are you?  Are you in Las Vegas?

Jordan: Yeeep!

Riley frowns as she hears just who I’m talking to.  I shake my head, quietly telling her not now as I focus on Jordan on the phone.

Lex: Where in Vegas?  Where are you staying?

She giggles again, and I’m more worried about her taking something else other than alcohol.

Jordan: Ummm...Eight!  Eiiight...Fuuuck the voka’s gone.  Neeed morrrre.

I hear her fumbling around for something, and I freak out.  I try to figure out what she meant by eight, but it hits me.

Lex: Super eight?!  Is that what you meant?!  Jordan, listen to me!

I’m rushing towards the door, but Riley stands in front of me.  I hear more bottles clinking in the background as Riley folds her arms across her chest, trying to stop me from leaving.

Jordan: Yaaa thas it!  Superrrr..

Lex: Alright.  Jordan, listen to me.  Stay there.  I’ll be right there.  Don’t drink anything else.  Don’t take anything, either!  Just...wait for me.  Okay?

Jordan: Nooo.  You don’t hafffta come heeere.  Yerrr with Timmmy...

She doesn’t giggle this time.  Instead she sounds sad.  Almost heartbroken.  Normally I’d say that was the booze talking, but given everything that has come to light with Jordan recently, I know enough to know otherwise.  

Lex: Yes, I do.  Just please, stay there.  I’ll be there in a little bit.  Okay?

Jordan: Fiiiiine.

She ends the call before I have a chance to and it suddenly hits me I don’t even know what room she is in, or which Super eight she could be in.  Oh well, I’ll take my chances and go to every Super Eight, if that’s what it takes.  I’ll find her and I’ll stop her from doing something stupid.  I quickly put my phone in my pocket and look at Riley as she is still standing in front of me.

Riley: You’re not actually leaving are you?!  You’re getting married in twelve hours!

I let out a sigh and shake my head.

Lex: Riley, I HAVE to do this.  I’ll meet you guys at the chapel if I have to, but right now, I need to find Jordan.

Riley: You’re joking, right?  You have to find the woman who is in love with you and doesn’t want you to get married to Tim at all?  How do you know this isn’t some sort of trick?!

I shake my head again.  She had a point, but had she heard Jordan on the other end of the phone, she would understand.

Lex: You didn’t hear her, Riley.  She’s on the verge of relapsing and I have to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Riley: I don’t get how that is your problem!  I understand she’s a recovering addict and all, but...

Lex: But nothing, Riley!  It’s my problem because this is MY fault, anyway.  She’s in love with me and I keep telling her I don’t share those feelings.  She could very well overdose if I don’t get there, and I can’t have that on my conscience, ok?

Riley shakes her head and lets out a sigh.  She still doesn’t understand, but I can’t stand here and try to explain it to her.  The longer I take, the more likely it is that Jordan will ignore my requests to not take something.  She’s lost for words now, which helps me.

Lex: Look, I promise I will call you in the morning.  This isn’t going to suddenly change how I feel about Tim or jeopardize me marrying him.  Just trust me on this, okay?

Riley laughs.

Riley: It’s not YOU I don’t trust, Alexis.  I really hope you know what you’re doing.

Lex: I know what I’m doing.  I promise.

She shakes her head but steps aside, allowing me to leave.  I rush out of the room, calling a taxi on my way down to the lobby.  Regardless of the situation with Jordan and I, I can’t help but quietly pray that she’s doesn’t do something stupid before I get there.



Flashback
June 2016
Undisclosed Rehab Facility

Today is the day that many of my fellow rehab “friends” have been looking forward to.  I’ve only been here a few weeks, but this is the first “family day” I’ll get to experience.  Well, had I actually invited any of my family to be here.  I wasn’t really ready for any of them to be here in a situation like this, so I’ll just use it as an opportunity to observe the other patients who get to reunite with their families for the day.  Jordan is apparently one of those people.  I’ve only spoken to her a few times, but I’m not exactly friends with her.  She just has this personality that I don’t connect with.  Most of the patients here are that way.  Or maybe it’s just my inability to trust anyone yet.  I don’t really know.

While everyone is waiting in the visiting room for their families to arrive, I’m in the rec room, trying to find something to watch on TV.  The visiting room isn’t far from the rec room so every once in awhile I look back to see what is going on.  A few minutes later, judging by all the commotion, the families have started arriving.  I turn my attention away from the TV to watch the reunions.  More specifically, I watch Jordan.

She’s sitting at a table, anxiously watching the door where all the families are filtering in from.  One by one loved ones reunite and take their seats at the tables.  Jordan stands up, staring towards the door, but as the last family members walk into the room, Jordan shakes her head disappointedly.  She looks at everyone else smiling and laughing as they catch up with their families, and I feel sorry for her.  She was apparently expecting them to show up, but they didn’t.  Her eyes well up with tears and she dashes away down the hall towards her room.  

For a moment, I debate what I’m about to do.  I bite my bottom lip then turn off the TV before I stand up from the sofa and head down the hall towards Jordan’s room.  Once I’m a few feet away, I can hear her sobbing, which only makes me feel worse.  Maybe this is why I didn’t ask my family to be here.  I knew Riley would show, but my parents?  Specifically my dad...I couldn’t get this excited thinking he was going to show up, only to have him not be here.  

I walk up to doorway to Jordan’s room, leaning against the frame.  She’s laying on her side in her bed and I gently knock to get her attention.  She rolls over and wipes the tears from her eyes and scowls when she sees me.

Jordan: Ugh.  What do you want?

Lex: Are you okay?

Jordan rolls her eyes and laughs.  Seriously, I’m just trying to help her and she’s being a complete bitch.

Jordan: What do you care?  You don’t even like me.  Hell, you don’t like anyone.

I nod because, well, she had a point.

Lex: Who were you waiting to show up?

My question clearly strikes a nerve as she rolls over, turning her attention away from me.  We’re not supposed to be in each other’s rooms, but I take a step inside regardless because she needed a friend.

Lex: Well?  Just tell me.  Who was supposed to be here?

Jordan growls as she quickly sits up in the bed and glares at me.

Jordan: My parents, alright?!  I invited my parents to be here, again.  And, again, they didn’t show.  Are you fucking happy now?!

She practically smacks the tears away from her eyes and I shake my head as I fold my arms across my chest.  I didn’t really know what she was feeling, but I could only imagine.  I’d probably be feeling the same were I in her shoes.

Lex: No, I’m not.  Because this isn’t about me.  I just thought you might need someone to talk to.  I’m sorry they didn’t show up.

She sniffles and goes quiet.  I can tell she doesn’t really want to talk, and I think now might be a good time for me to actually talk for once.  I’d been mostly quiet during group therapies since being here, and Jordan was well aware of it.  I walk over to her bed and take a seat next to her.  This surprises her and she stares at me.

Jordan: W-what are you--

Lex: Relax, I’m just getting comfortable so I can talk.  I don’t know exactly how you feel, but I imagine that if I had made the decision to ask my parents to be here, the same thing would have happened.  At least in my father’s case.

She stares at me, surprise written all over her face.  Maybe because I was actually talking, or because I had chosen her to be the first one aside from Dr. Lambert, to open up to.  I’m just as confused as she is.

Lex: Last time I saw my father, he was on the verge of pressing charges against me.  When I left home a little over two years ago, I stole a lot of money from the family safe and I’m pretty sure he still hasn’t forgiven me.  I know I’ll need to eventually apologize and try and work things out with him, but I can’t imagine feeling what you’re feeling and asking him to be here only for him not to show.  I don’t know what happened with you and your family, but I’m sure it will get better eventually.  Maybe once you get out of here.

She lets out a laugh and leans her head against the wall.

Jordan: Yeah, that’s unlikely to happen.  Every time I get out of this place I fuck up and wind right back in.  My family knows this, which is why there’s no hope of ever making things better.  I need to just stop asking them to come, because they...never will.

She tries to fight back the tears, but she’s unable to and she starts crying again.  I don’t know why, but I instinctively wrap my arm around her to comfort her and she just lays down in my lap, sobbing.  I truly felt bad for her, and all I could think to do was to run my hand through her hair as she continued to cry, eventually crying herself to sleep, but I never moved.  Consequences be damned, she just needed someone there for her.



Super 8 Motel
Las Vegas Strip
**OFF CAMERA**

I don’t know how, but by some miracle, the first Super 8 motel I chose to have the taxi driver bring me to was the right one.  It took me a few minutes, but I managed to get the front desk clerk to find the information I needed.  I told her it was a matter of life or death and that I need to find Jordan’s room as soon as possible, otherwise they may have a death investigation on their hands later today.  That’s all it took and in a matter of moments, I had the room number and a spare key to get in.

I’m now standing outside Jordan’s room and instead of using the key to get in, I choose to knock on the door hoping Jordan will let me in.  If she’s even still conscious.  

**KNOCK KNOCK**

Lex: Jordan?  Jordan, it’s Alexis.  Can you let me in?

I put my ear against the door and listen for any movement.  I don’t hear anything, which isn’t a good sign, but I try not to panic right away.

**KNOCK KNOCK**

Lex: Jordan, come on. Open the door.

I listen again, and again hear nothing.  Okay, time to panic.  I don’t waste my time knocking again as I insert the key card in the lock and open the door.  A light is on on the far end of the room and I instinctively look towards the bed.  Jordan isn’t there.  But the empty bottle of vodka is.

Lex: Jordan?!  Damn it, she fucking left after I told her--

Just then I hear the toilet flushing in the bathroom and a few seconds later, the door opens and Jordan stumbles out.  She takes one look at me, but frowns as she wipes at her mouth.

Jordan: I told you not to come...

She’s not slurring on her words anymore, which is a good sign, but she stumbles past me, heading straight towards the bed.  I frown as I follow behind her.

Lex: Well too bad.  When you sound the way you did on the phone, I tend to get a little worried.  Now where are the drugs?

She spins around quickly and plops down on the bed, nearly falling right off.  She looks at me confused as she adjusts herself on the bed.

Jordan: Drugs?  What...drugs?

For a moment I think she’s going to get sick again, but she doesn’t.  I walk over to the bed, sitting down next to her on the edge.  To my surprise, she scoots away from me.  

Lex: You sounded pretty bad on the phone and said you hadn’t taken anything...yet.  I just assumed you were--

Jordan: What the hell do you care, Alexis?  You don’t love me.  You’re in love with Tim.  You’re going to marry him.  I’m just chopped liver to everyone.  What the hell matters if I overdose?  It’ll be just one less inconvenience around.

I shouldn’t but I pull my hand back and punch her in the arm.  She lets out an audible OW as she turns and glares at me, shocked and angry that I actually punched her.

Lex: Don’t fucking say that again, Jordan!  Do you understand me?!  I’m not going to sit here and let you talk like this.  I’m not going to let you risk overdosing!

Jordan: You should.  Just...leave.  Leave me alone, Alexis.  I...I can’t.  I can’t...I can’t...

She starts sobbing and is completely unable to speak an entire sentence.  She doesn’t need to, though.  I know what she’s trying to say.  She can’t stand being around me right now knowing that I’m going to marry Tim and she’s still in love with me.  She’s crying uncontrollably and I move closer to her again, wrapping my arm around her the same way I had done months ago while we were in rehab.  And just like before, she falls down into my lap, a sobbing mess, and I run my hand through her hair, comforting her.  

I’m not sure but how many but several hours later, my eyes flutter open because of a crick in my neck.  I fell asleep sitting up, with Jordan sleeping in my lap, but when I wake up, she’s not there.  I crack my neck and look around the room in a panic.

Lex: Jordan?  Jordan?!

I jump up from the bed, looking around for her, but a few moments later she appears from the bathroom again, looking better than she had last night.  I breathe a sigh of relief as she walks up to me.

Jordan: Relax.  I’m still alive.  I just need to brush my teeth.

I nod and run my hand through my hair.  The sun is shining in through the window and my eyes widen.  I quickly turn and look at the clock on the nightstand next to the bed.  Eleven a.m.

Lex: FUCK!  I can’t believe we slept that long.  My phone...

I pull my phone out of my pocket and look at it.  It’s dead.  Of course.  Just my luck.

Jordan: Supposed to be somewhere?

I turn and look at her and take in a deep breath, nodding.

Lex: Tim...We’re supposed to...

I can’t even finish my sentence, but I don’t need to.  She nods slowly, knowing exactly what I was about to say, and she looks heartbroken all over again.  Damn it.  What was I doing?

Jordan: Well..don’t let me keep you any longer.  Don’t worry, though.  I’m not going to shoot up or overdose or anything.  As long as you’re happy, that’s all I need to keep me going.

She walks over to the edge of the bed again and sits down.  I should leave.  I have to leave.  Tim is waiting for me.  Riley is probably freaking out and Celeste is probably ready to kill me if I break Tim’s heart.  But, that’s not what I’m doing.  Wait...what am I doing?  I sit down next to her again, and this confuses her.

Jordan: What are you doing?  You’re supposed to be getting married.

I nod, thinking for a moment.

Lex: I’m not happy, Jordan.  Not completely, anyway.

She raises an eyebrow.  

Jordan: What...what are you talking about?

I take in a deep breath, thinking about the answer to that carefully.  I love Tim.  I couldn’t deny that, but looking at Jordan?  Really looking at her?  I couldn’t deny it any longer.  I bring my hands up and cup her face in them and I bring my lips to hers.  I kiss her, but not out of pity.  I kiss her because I want to.  I keep the kiss locked on for what seems like minutes before I slowly pull back.  Jordan has her eyes closed but she’s blinking slowly and then she stares at me, more confused than before.  I take in another deep breath, but I can’t even come up with the words to say.  I quickly stand up and head towards the door, ready to leave but she jumps up grabs me by the arm, stopping me.

Jordan: Wait...where are you going?!

I spin around and look at her.

Lex: I...I have to go to Tim...

Her jaw drops and she quickly turns angry.[/color]

Jordan: You’re fucking kidding me?!  You kiss me like THAT and you’re still going to run to Tim and marry him?!  I can’t...I can’t believe this.

I shake my head quickly.

Lex: Stop!  I need to go to Tim.  I need to talk to him!

She thinks for a moment before she relaxes a little.

Jordan: Oh...

Lex: Look.  I...I don’t know what the hell is going on with me right now.  I need to figure some things out, but I need to talk to Tim.  Just...trust me, okay?

She lets out frustrated sigh and shakes her head.

Jordan: Whatever, Lex.  Do what you have to do.  Marry him.  Don’t marry him.  I don’t--

I quickly kiss her again, trying to put her mind at ease even if temporarily.  I really don’t know what I’m feeling right now, but I know talking to Tim will help me figure things out.

Lex: Please don’t do anything stupid, okay?

Jordan blinks and she turns and walks back over to the bed.  I stare at her, waiting for an answer, which comes a few moments later when she throws her arms up and looks at me.

Jordan: Don’t worry.  I don’t have any drugs or anything in here.  It was just the booze talking, okay?  Run along to Tim now...

I’m half tempted to just stay here, but she shakes her head and urges me to go.  I take in a deep breath as I turn and quickly rush out of the room, almost regretting leaving Jordan by herself.



I didn’t have enough time to go back to the hotel to see if Riley was still there, and I couldn’t risk wasting more time in heading over to Tim’s to see if he was there either.  I told Riley last night that I would meet them at the chapel if it came down to it, and apparently it has.  I look like shit, but I don’t care, and I know Tim won’t either.  The taxi pulls up in the parking lot of the chapel and I see everyone standing outside, concerned looks on their faces.  But my attention quickly falls to Tim.  He looks more relaxed than everyone else and he looks good in his suit.  I pay the taxi driver and as I get out of the car, everyone looks in my direction.

Riley is the first one to run up to me as Tim, Celeste and Dax stand back quietly.  Riley isn’t happy with me.  In fact, she looks about ready to kill me, but before she has a chance to say a word, I hold my hand up.

Lex: Riley, not now.  I need to talk to Tim.

Riley’s jaw drops open and I look directly at Tim.  I nod at him and he nods back as he heads towards me.  Celeste looks confused and on holding back her own anger, but I keep my attention focused on Tim.  I take him by the hand and lead him far enough away from the others so they can’t hear our conversation.  They’ll find out soon enough, though.

Tim: We’re not getting married today, are we?

I take his hands in mine and look in his eyes.  He doesn’t look disappointed or even upset, but I can see the concern in his eyes.  I take in a deep breath and try to gather my thoughts and he gives me all the time I need.  I can feel everyone’s eyes on me.

Lex: Babe, it’s not that I don’t want to get married.  I do.

Tim: But...

I close my eyes and take in another deep breath.  What exactly am I trying to say.  I don’t even know anymore.

Lex: I’m just really confused right now.

Now he looks disappointed.  Shit.  This is not going well.

Lex: Oh God, I’m not confused about my feelings for you.  Trust me on that.  I love you.  I’m not denying that at all.  I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for you.

Tim: I sense another but...Lex, what the hell happened with you and Jordan last night?  Riley told me that’s where you were.

I growl and glance towards Riley, and she quickly turns and starts rambling something to Celeste.  I turn back to Tim and squeeze his hands in mine.

Lex: Nothing happened.  Nothing major anyway.

He looks at me more confused and I let out a sigh.  I’m not going to lie to him.  I can’t lie to him.

Lex: I kissed her...

He nods slowly and to my surprise, he pulls his hands away from mine.  Shit.  I screwed up, didn’t I?  I really screwed up.  Just as I’m about to freak out and start crying, he brings his hands up to my face and kisses me.

Tim: So what are you going to do?  Babe, I’m not walking away.  Not unless you tell me to.  Not unless it’s what you want.

Now I start crying.  I really don’t deserve him, but hell if I’m going to tell him to walk away.

Lex: I just...I have to figure some things out, babe.  I love you.  I really do.  But...I’m starting to have these feelings for Jordan that I don’t even know how to explain right now.  She’s in a really rough place right now, and part of it is my fault.  I...I can’t just leave her alone.

He nods and kisses my forehead.

Tim: I want to marry you, Lex, but I’m not going to force you into it.  I want you to be absolutely sure, so take however long you need to figure things out.  All I’m asking for is to just be honest with me.  Don’t hide anything from me.

I wrap my arms around him and kiss him again.  I wasn’t going to leave him.  That much I was one hundred percent sure about.  I just had to figure out what to do about Jordan and whatever feelings I might have for her.  

Lex: Will you still come to Primm with me?

He smiles and nods.

Tim: Of course I will.  If you need me there, I’ll be there for you.

Lex: Good.  Because I really don’t think I can beat Mercedes if you’re not there with me.  I probably won’t beat her anyway, but...

He quickly puts his finger on my lips, silencing me.  I narrow my eyes at him and watch from the corner of my eyes as the others start walking towards us.

Tim: Hey, don’t talk like that.  I know you’ve been discouraged lately because things haven’t been going your way, but you will turn things around.  And it’ll be this week against Mercedes.

Lex: I want to believe that, I really do.  But--

I’m quickly cut off as Riley, Celeste and Dax all walk up to us.  Riley wants to say something, but she keeps quiet.  It’s Celeste that speaks up first, though.

Celeste: So, lovebirds.  Are we having a wedding or not?!

Tim and I both turn and look towards our closest friend.  Sister, really.  I’m about to respond with the truth, but Tim speaks before I have a chance to get a word out.

Tim: We’re putting it off for a bit.  Lex wants to try and focus on her match, and getting a shot at the title as much as possible and she doesn’t want to feel like she’s ignoring her husband.  Not that I wouldn’t understand, anyway.  But, it’s cool.  I’m cool with waiting.

Riley glares at me and I can tell by the look on her face that she doesn’t believe Tim.  She shakes her head, but I turn my attention to Celeste.  Dax has his arms wrapped around her waist and she looks really happy.

Celeste: You guys really need to just get it over with.  I mean, we’re all here.  Lex, you kinda look like shit, but Riley and I can fix that pretty quick.  You know you want to marry him so--

Lex: I do, but I just can’t do it today, alright?  I’ve been in a bit of a funk in the ring lately and I just need to get back in the game.  I need to train for this match against Mercedes, and I don’t want to neglect Tim any.  It’s fine Celeste.  We’ll get married eventually.  Just need to wait a bit and let things settle down a bit.

Riley: So...what brought all this on, anyway?  You were so ready to get married yesterday...

I glare at Riley.  I can’t believe she went there.  She obviously didn’t tell Celeste about the situation with Jordan.  Tim squeezes my hand, trying to get me to calm down.  It works, and he speaks for me.

Tim: It doesn’t matter, Riley.  It’s fine.  Really.  We’re still together and that’s all that matters.

Celeste: So what now?

Riley shakes her head, clearly more upset than anyone else.  Tim turns to me with an eager smile on his face.

Tim: Want to get started on that training?  Staggs Dungeon?

I look at Celeste, asking her with my eyes.  She looks back at Dax and he nods.

Celeste: I’m game.  I could practice bashing in Veronica’s face again anyway.

Lex: Alright then.  Let’s go.  Riley, you want to join us?

She shakes her head, but I’m not surprised.

Riley: No.  You go on without me.

Lex: Come on, Riley...

Riley: I said no, Lex.  Just go train for your match or whatever.  I’m gonna try and get back to Phoenix earlier now.

Lex: You don’t have to, Riley.  You can come with us to Primm.

She starts walking away shaking her head.

Riley: No, that’s okay.  I’ll see you guys later.  Good luck in your match, sis.

I try to walk after her, but Tim holds me back.  He shakes his head and all I can do is let Riley walk to her rental car and leave.  I’m not exactly sure why she’s so upset with me, but I’ll have to find out another time.  I really need to focus on getting ready for this match against Mercedes, and once my phone is charged again, I need to send a message to Jordan to check in.  I’m all over the place trying to figure things out, but I can’t let it affect my performance in the ring.



Third time's a charm.  That’s the saying, right?  Either way, that’s what I’m looking for right now.  Because I need to turn things around, and not just as a whole in SCW, but in the ring against Mercedes.  I’ve got a bad track record against Mercedes, and I can’t let that record continue on Sunday.  And not only that but as people have seen recently, I’ve been in a bit of a slump as of late.  And I sure as shit can’t let THAT continue, either.

I’m tired of the way things have been going lately.  I’m tired of busting my ass, or at least feeling like I’ve been busting my ass, and still walking away on the losing end.  Especially in that match against Mikah and Sam at High Stakes.  I didn’t think I was being overconfident.  I just truly believed in myself and had faith that I could beat someone who so many people think is virtually unbeatable.  

And it didn’t happen.  Mikah won.  She might not have pinned me, but I couldn’t stop her from pinning Sam.  I couldn’t keep the match going and give me another chance to actually walk away with the win.  And what did that do for my desire to go after the World Bombshell Championship?  Well, take a look at the card this week and you’ll see exactly what it did.  Mikah “earned” her shot at Crystal Millar and the World Bombshell Championship by winning one damn match after being gone for six weeks and me?  I’m back at the bottom of the ladder to work my way up.

Mercedes is a great opponent to prove myself against.  Like Sam and Mikah, she’ll fight tooth and nail to walk away with the win.  I’m sure she’d love nothing more than to get another shot at the World Bombshell Championship, and who knows...beating me could get her that first step forward in getting that shot.  

But I can’t let that happen.  

I can’t take one more loss.  I can’t take busting my ass, proving myself time and time again, and it not working in my favor.  Not like it’ll matter either way, because I probably ruined any chance I had with my words on Twitter last Sunday, but...can anyone blame me?  I’m not going to defend or explain myself anymore.  I’ll just leave it at the fact that my brain to mouth filter malfunctioned for the day.  Maybe it’s still broken.  I don’t know.

One thing I do know is that when I walk into that ring against Mercedes on Sunday, everyone is going to see a side of me they haven’t seen in several months.  They’re going to see a more vicious side, because I simply can’t walk away with another loss.  I’ve lost three in a row and if I lose another?  Well, I may need to re-think my career path, because I’ve obviously been doing something wrong.

And if I win?  Well, it probably won’t matter either.  Mark Ward said it himself...I’ll never touch the World Bombshell Championship now.  But maybe I don’t want to.  Maybe I just don’t care anymore.  Maybe I’ll just use Mercedes as the first of many messages.  

That I can fight with more passion and more aggression and determination than anyone else while someone else holds the World Bombshell Championship.  I’ll kick Mercedes’ ass on Sunday and move on to the next Bombshell and the next and just…

Be stuck right where I am.  I’ll bounce back and beat everyone else.

Just not the one that really matters.  

Mercedes, I’m sorry for what I’m going to do to you on Sunday, but it has to happen.  We’ve faced each other twice over the last year, and both times you walked away with the win, but that ends on Sunday.  I’m not going to let you win.  We’re not in front of your home town people.  There’s no title on the line, but something a hell of a lot bigger is on the line for me.

My pride.  

People already believe in you.  It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, they’ll always love you and talk highly of you.  It’s why I need to beat you.  It’s why I have to turn things around and get a win, because the more I lose...the more frustrated I get.  And I’ll just keep losing.  

I have nothing but respect for you Mercedes.  And I’m sorry for anything I have ever said or done to you in the past, but now?  Things are different.  I’m different.  You’re about to face a different Alexis Edwards than the last two times we faced.  

And Alexis Edwards that simply refuses to lose any longer.  An Alexis Edwards that wants nothing more than to beat you.

An Alexis Edwards that has everything to lose…

See you Sunday, Mercedes!