So here we are.
On June 2, a little more than 48 hours away, yours truly, the Argentine Assassin, Mercedes Vargas, will make her Climax Control debut for Sin City Wrestling. Now, people have been asking me, “How do I feel about it?” “Who’s my opponent?” “How am I enjoying Vegas?” And to that I say, “Really?” These are the pointless and mundane questions you ask me? What does it matter? The same way I’m walking into my debut match is the same way I’m walking out, and that’s with my hand raised in victory and looking down at the poor soul who ended up on her back and whose shoulders I just pinned to the mat.
Which now brings me to my opponent, Faith. Cute name, by the way. Let me guess, you’re a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Cool show. I’ve got the entire series on DVD. Or maybe you’re a fan of Faith Hill? I think she’s kind of underrated as a country singer, but if there’s anything for inspiration, I’m sure that’s it. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of virtue names and I wouldn’t be surprised that you were probably mocked all your life because of it. Sure, it's not the worst name ever, and it doesn't roll of the tongue easily, but you should be proud of your name. I'm very proud of mine, though I'm not too peachy keen about the "like the car" comments, or the "stripper" comments, or the "ghetto" comments...Oh, you get the idea! Just bothers me for some reason. Another story for another day, perhaps.
Look, Faith, I know how much this match means to you. You’ve been on this downward spiral lately, and you’re probably thinking that a win, any win at all, will somehow turn your fortunes around. The important thing is at least you’re getting up. At least you’re not giving up. And this Sunday, maybe fortune will smile upon you because you’re not facing an opponent whose has been a part of this company. But make no mistake about it – I may be new to SCW as a competitor, the new girl on the block in the Bombshells Division, this may be a debut match on paper, and I may have gone to wrestling school, but the fact of the matter is, sweetheart, I didn’t just graduate from wrestling school just yesterday. I think I know the difference between a wristlock and a wristwatch, thank you very much.
I’m not a mind reader, but if I knew what you’re about to say, then I’m not too far off: “You think you’re so much better than me because of all your accomplishments. I’m the underdog and I’m going to beat you and prove to the entire world, blah, blah, blah…” Save it, OK? Some people have the idea that because I’m better than them that I may be, what’s the word, pretentious? Couldn’t be further from the truth.
I think we know you're not going to lay down, though you should take that offer into consideration, it would save you from being embarrassed. Or, even better, just forfeit the match. It would save us from having to go through with this altogether. But knowing you, you’re all too willing to ignore my foolish advice. The only way you’re going to beat me is by divine intervention…
And even that might not be enough to save you…from me.
You may have taken a glance at my bio and realized that I didn’t become a multi-time champion just by sitting around and drinking piña coladas with little umbrellas, but here’s something else for you to chew on: I’ve only submitted twice in my career and I’ve never lost a debut match for any company. In other words, yeah, I’m undefeated. 7-0. And I don’t see how that’s going to change in our match. I wouldn’t blame you if you’re feeling a little intimidated right about now, it's because you have every right to be. Now, I could sit here and tell you why I’m better than you, but where’s the fun in that? It wouldn’t be fair to you, and besides, I’m more of an action kind of girl and I’d rather show you this Sunday.
I could tell you about all the trinkets and accolades I’ve won in my career, but let’s face it, nobody wants to hear that. This is a new playground and all my past accomplishments don’t matter here. So, I’m going to make new accomplishments in Sin City Wrestling. Supposedly, from what I’ve read, you’re a former Bombshell Roulette Champion – I guess that’s the equivalent to a Women’s World Championship here? – So you must be doing something right. My mind should be telling me that you’re kind of a big deal. Boy, I hope so, Faith. I really hope so, because if you’re the threat that you make yourself out to be, then the powers that be who booked this match so early in the card made a right decision. Are you capable of beating me? Sure. After all, this is wrestling – anybody can beat anybody on any given night, and where anything can and will happen.
I am so confident that you’ll ruin my debut that I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt, Faith. Unless, of course, you prove me wrong. Unless you fail to silence the critics, the doubters and the naysayers from what they think about you. I’m not saying that it might happen, just that it could happen.
And these three things remain: Faith, hope, charity. But the greatest of these is charity. Well, I was taught that it’s always better to give than to receive, and SCW? I am never one to refuse an act of charity, no matter how big or, in my opponent’s case, insignificant. Faith gives me hope that this act of charity will be all the more worth it come Sunday.
See how that works?
So, Faith, bring your A-game. As of matter of fact, bring your A+-game, do whatever you feel you need to, to give me a reason to hop on a plane and make this trip to Hayward, California worthwhile instead of just being a complete waste of my time, and especially yours, sweetheart, because I’m going to be more than ready to put whatever minuscule chance of you beating me to rest. But, hey, don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s not the end of the world. You tried at least. Look at it this way; at the end of the day there's always, well, “faith.” Keep having faith; I’ll just break it for you. Keep hope alive. At this point it may not be warranted, but keep having hope, I’ll just crush it for you. Dream big, I’ll just end those for you.
So, uh, yeah. Faith, I guess I’ll see you at Climax Control on Sunday.
