(This will make a lot more sense if you read Drake Green's work first... well... Go read it, you won't be disappointed!)
7th October, Panama.
Hours after a certain jogger run past. Ben Jordan lies with his eyes closed, resting on the golden sand of a Panama beach. He winces as he rubs his head, the sun slowly going down behind the sea. Slowly opening his eyes, he reaches over and grabs the empty bottle next to him, turning the bottle's label to his now opening eyes, looking at the large bottle.
Ben: That Ron Abuelo stuff is proper vicious, drunk weaker paint stripper.
The sound of a female "mmmmm" causes Ben to open his eyes wide as he slowly turns his head, seeing the bikini clad sister of Drake Green, Jenny, with her head on his chest. Ben looks down his own body to see himself in just boxer shorts, with cartoon images of the show Mrs Brown's Boys. He hushes his voice to a whisper.
Ben: Where the bloody hell are my clothes?
Ben slowly moves his head around, looking for his clothes, but winces as he turns his head, the effects of the alcohol kicking firmly in.
Ben: That is not good.
A curious look crosses Ben's face as he turns his face back to Jenny, her eyes not open, but her chest moving in and out with every breath. He turns away, his voice hushed.
Ben: More to the point, what the hell did I do before I past out that left me in me pants.
A realization crosses Ben, causing him to close his eyes and bite his lower lip.
Ben: That is not good, really not good.
Jenny: Hmmmm?
The sound of Jenny's voice causes Ben to turn his head, looking at Drake's younger sister.
Ben: Oh, just talking to meself.
Jenny: First sign of insanity.
Jenny starts to slowly move, pushing down on Ben's chest and sitting herself in an upright position, shading her eyes by the sun.
Jenny: What time is it?
Ben looks towards his wrist, noticing his watch is also missing and looks back at Jenny.
Ben: I have no idea, me watch has packed it's bag and buggered off on holiday, but we should go cause it's getting late.
Ben points to his watch that is no longer there and Jenny looks at him as he sits up.
Jenny: How would you know without a watch?
Ben scrambles for answers in his head before clicking his fingers.
Ben: It's obvious, innit?
Jenny: No.
Ben rubs his head with his left hand and points to the sun with his right.
Ben: Blimey, when Drake said you was a firecracker, he wasn't pulling me plonker. The sun, it's over there now and it wasn't there earlier, which means it later.
Jenny: That and the fact that that's how time works.
Ben: Well, that too, but I just wanna sound smart about it, that's all. But yeah, always sweets, we should be going back, they'll be wondering where we've been.
Ben turns his head, seeing something shiny and reaches down, pulling it out of the sand, seeing that it's his phone. He scratches his head and mutters to himself.
Ben: I don't even wanna know how that happened.
He stands up, reaching his hand down to Jenny and helping her to her feet. The two wander off as the camera moves upwards, showing Ben's clothes up a nearby tree.
Thirty minutes later.
Ben and Jenny reach the front door of the rented accommodation, rented by Drake Green. Ben pushes the door, his phone in hand, and walks in first to see Drake Green, Lyah Lindberg and Barry Goldstein dressed in formal wear. The trio stop mid conversation and look towards Ben, and then to Jenny as she follows Ben in. Drake looks at them sternly, Ben's cheeks flushing red as he tries to recall the last few hours of his life. A shocked face from Lyah looks towards them, while a big grin crosses Barry's face.
Ben: Alright people.
Drake: And what have you two been up to? You've been gone for hours.
Jenny: Nothing Dad.
A wider smile crosses Barry's face.
Barry: You dirty dog Ben, I always say to get over someone, you gotta get under someone.
Drake fires his eyes towards Barry, and then back to Ben.
Ben: He does always say that.
Drake: Not the point, you guys haven't been heard from since I bumped in to you drunk out of your skull at ten this morning.
Ben Scratches his head.
Ben: Wait, you was there?
Drake: I was jogging and saw your drunken asses.
Ben: I don't remember that.
As if I light bulb appears above Ben's head, a smile crosses his face.
Ben: Remember a fella called Dickie having a rabbit with us though.
Drake fires a look towards his sister through narrowed eyes.
Drake: Again, see what you started?
Jenny smiles towards Drake.
Jenny: I'm gonna go take a shower. Bye Dickie.
Jenny exits the room, and Drake moves towards Ben.
Drake: So what the fuck did happen?
Ben starts to talk faster at Drake as he's cheeks turn a brighter shade of red.
Barry: Yeah, and don't leave out any details.
Ben: I dunno what you're talking about, I sat on the beach, I drunk some stuff, what's with the questions? I'm not on trial here!
The three look at Ben strangely.
Lyah: I just wanna ask a question. Where's your clothes?
Ben looks down, once again remembering his state of undress and searches for an excuse in his head.
Ben: Giant bird.
Ben puts his hand in the air and pulls it down as if a bird was flying down.
Ben: Just swooped out of nowhere and bang, took my clothes and whoosh, it was gone again. Just like that.
Lyah: You really want us to believe that?
Ben shrugs his shoulders, curling down his lower lip.
Ben: Best excuse I got right now, but if you come back to me in a bit, will come up with a much better one. The next one will be blinding. Anyway, why are you two dressed up like penguins.
He points his hands out to Barry and Drake, before pointing to Lyah.
Ben: And you're dressed stunningly?
Drake: We have reservations tonight for dinner, remember?
Ben scratches his head.
Ben: Nope, but if ya gimme like twenty son, will get me arse in gear and we'll make it a trio of penguins. Let me just have a shower.
Ben quickly moves out of the room, but returns a few seconds later, pointing at Drake.
Ben: Not with your sister! I mean on me Jack Jones mate!
Ben disappears again before bumping in to Jenny in the hall, a towel wrapped around her body.
Ben: Darling, quick question. On the beach, in a drunken state, did we....?
Jenny moves her head back slightly.
Jenny: No.
Ben: You sure?
Jenny: Very sure. You wish you did!
Ben breathes a sigh of relief.
Ben: So how the bloody hell did I end up dressed like this?
Ben points to his body, still just wearing his boxers.
Jenny: Because you went for a walk by the sea, fell over, got soaked, came back and jumped on a rock, claiming you needed a place to dry your clothes and threw them up a tree.
Ben thinks back, smiling at the thought as it comes rushing back in to his head.
Ben: That does sound like me.
Jenny walks past Ben, opening a door to walk in, but Ben puts his finger in the air and spins around.
Ben: Hold on a bloody minute. If you knew my clothes was up a tree, why did ya let me walk though the streets in just me pants?
Jenny turns her head back, smiling at Ben from the doorway.
Jenny: Girls gotta have some kinda fun.
Jenny laughs as she walks through the door, shutting it behind her and Ben turns around, shaking his head.
Ben: Women, eh?
Ben shakes his head and walks away as the scene fades.
***
Two hours pass and the group of five are sitting around a table after finishing up eating. The five satisfied faces sit with various drinks in front of them. Drake sits next to Ben, Ben on his left, Jenny next to Ben, Barry next to Jenny and Lyah in between Barry and Drake.
Lyah: So why was you guys drinking on the beach at ten in the morning.
Ben searches his mind for an answer and a smile crosses his face, suddenly remembering.
Ben: We was celebrating.
Barry: I like the way you celebrate kid.
Barry raises his glass towards Ben.
Ben: Thanks.
Ben raises his own glass but Drake looks towards Ben.
Drake: What was you celebrating?
Ben: Being the richest homeless guy in the world. Sold the house back home for more than I paid for it, much more. Apparently me having me arse there bumped the value of something to big time seven figures, so yeah, richest homeless fella in the world.
Drake: Congrats I think.
Ben: Thanks, means the world is now me oyster, means I can do what I want, when I want. I can live where ever, know what I mean?
Lyah: You can always stay with us.
Ben: Thanks sweets, but I'm all good. Gonna buy a little two bedroom gaff overlooking the river back home, and maybe a place in Cuba or something.
Drake: Bro, you wrestle in Vegas, why Cuba?
Ben: Only got a deal to the end of the tour, I can live with hotels and stuff till then, then I'll worry about me future. I mean with Bazza here looking after me, he can get me work anywhere.
Barry: The next James Bond could be sitting right there.
Ben: Yeah, maybe Baz, but truth is, I now have enough cash to replace all me gear and sit on me arse for the rest of my life.
Jenny: You're thinking of giving up wrestling?
Ben: Dunno darling, dunno. See what happens and such. Might have to take a few weeks off at the end of the tour, gotta buy a lot of new gear. Gave everything I had away to kids hospitals, retirement homes and charity shops, even flogged me car. All I got left is me PS4, a few wrestling related things, the clothes I have with me now and an eight figured bank account.
Drake: You gave away all that, what about your jet?
Lyah eyes widen.
Lyah: You have your own plane?
Ben: Mmmmhmmm, yeah, kinda got lucky selling the pub I owned in a good area for silly amounts of money, so I bought meself a jet because I could. Nothing fancy but gets the job done. Gave a boatload to charities and stuff, not really a greedy fella. I've had a very lucky life and now I get to start a new chapter... in Cuba. It's madness people, for the money I got for me gaff, I can get a place in London and one in Havana, and still have cash left over.
Drake: You should be focusing on beating TNA first.
Ben: You're right mate, big time, in fact I should do the focusy thing now.
Drake raises his finger.
Ben: Don't worry son, not gonna do the click me finger, everything freezes up thingy. It's a beautiful night, so I'ma take me 'aris outside and do it.
Ben leans in to Drake and whispers.
Ben: By the way mate, I didn't knob ya sister.
Ben stands up as a shocked look crosses Drake's face. He addresses the table.
Ben: Excuse me for a bit people.
Ben turns and walks outside the restaurant. He turns to face the restaurant, leaning on a barrier outside, the street alive behind him. He looks down the camera.
Ben: Alright people, how ya doing today?
Ben turns his ear as if to listen.
Ben: Brilliant to know. I bet ya never expected to ever see a promo from Panama, and now you've seen a couple. Beautiful place this is, let me tell ya. I could rave about this place for hours, I so could, but unfortunately, I need to talk to ya about some tit head called Mr TNA. Travis Nathaniel Andrews, the biggest name in SCW.... I mean by letters son, don't get too excited. It's been brewing for a while, ya know people, it's been bubbling away like crazy and now, it's gonna happen, gonna give the people what the wanna see, and ya know what that is Travis mate?
Ben pauses for a second.
Ben: That's me kicking you so hard in the knackers, that ya testes will replace ya Adam's apple. Straight up mate.
Ben points to his own throat.
Ben: Not gonna lie, it's gonna hurt a bit. When I came back, I didn't come back to piss on ya cornflakes, I came back to be a man and face someone as I rated highly. I always knew you was a dick, I mean everyone knew that but I was looking beyond that one geezer, I was looking at the whole wrestling skill stuff you got going on there, but you wanted to make it personal. I get it mate, you love the ol' spotlight thingy and well, you got it. You did what you could to stay in it, but to be fair mate, you didn't have to do it just by attacking me when I did the decent challenge thing, you coulda just said yes and people would have wanted to see it, but ya made it personal, which means I won't be holding back on anything I do now.
A casual shrugs comes from Ben.
Ben: That's fine with me, but now ya made a rod for ya own back. Now no one wants to see you win, no one wants to see you come close to winning, truth is they want me to steamroll through ya. It's what the people wanna see and to be honest, I think I might just give them what they want. They pay their money, they should see what they want and what they'll see is me whooping you all over the place mate. I mean it's gonna be a proper nightmare for you, proper! I mean you think being in the same ring with Brother Grimm is bad, as scary as he is, it's gonna be nothing to what's gonna happen with us. When ya booted me in the head, it also gave me a kick up the jacksy and made me a little more determined, made me a little more ready for ya because now I got more to prove mate. By taking you on to start with was to prove to meself that I can still hang with decent stars, test me own level, but now, I'm more determined to put on a show. It's your own bloody fault pal, all ya had to do was say yes instead of trying to kick me arse. Now kicking me arse and running to hide behind a no contact contract means it's now gonna bite you on the arse. Really and truly bite ya on the arse.
Ben breathes deeply.
Ben: I figured out why you're such a dick. I worked it out pretty easy. It's all this, innit?
Ben points around himself.
Ben: It's cause you don't have what I do. You don't have friends like I do, you don't have peeps around you that actually care about you, so you're bitter against the world. I get to go to places like this because I have people that give a monkeys about me and you don't. A lot of people have friends around them, you have lackeys, my guess son is you're pretty damn jealous of me so you chose to smack me in the mush. That's cushdy mate, but whacking me in my gob doesn't make people wanna know ya. You were the kid that never had the up to date toys, wasn't ya? Had more than a few hand me downs and that's why you're a bitter little tosser.
Ben smiles down the camera.
Ben: I'm not a psychologist sugar tits but that's my guess on why you're an attention seeking wanker.
Ben leans off the barrier, taking a step towards the camera.
Ben: Anyway, I'm gonna go back to the people that ya don't have, ya know, friends and I'm gonna leave you to think about yourself Travis, because no one else will be thinking of you. Have a good long think about why you're only popular in ya own dome, and I'm gonna go hang out with a few of me mates.
Ben gives the camera a thumbs up.
Ben: And you lovely people at home, thanks for watching. If ya gonna be there to see me smack that bellend up, feel free to bring signs that say "Travis is a tosser" on them.
Ben winks at the camera.
Ben: But for now, I gotta get back to Drake and explain to him what "knob your sister" means. You guys have a cracking night and you'll see this smiling face very soon. Any decent estate agents in Havana, feel free to gimme a bell, alright?
Ben holds his fingers up to the side of his head in the shape of a phone.
Ben: Laters people.
Ben walks past the camera as the scene fades to black.
