“Alright look to the left…now look to the right. Mmkay you can sit up now.”

(We open to see a doctor checking the reflexes and conducting tests to make sure there’s no long term effects. The doctor snaps his gloves off and turns to a fuzzy figure to Levi as he hears the doctor explain.)

Doctor: I think he’s gonna be okay, he just got his bell rung harder than Quasimodo in Notre Dame.

Voice: You…err…have such an elegant way with words.

(The Doctor takes his leave as Levi Russow holds the ice pack against his head until he hears a chuckle and a low whispering woman’s voice whisper.)

Voice: Ice-man.

(There are two little giggles as Levi sits up wincing and looking through one eye. He sees the features of his beloved Emma standing with her arms crossed glaring at him…his young daughter Rosie with her arms crossed glaring at him…and behind them, Alanah looking concerned holding little Paddy and Jack looking pissed holding little Elise.)

Levi Russow; Ya’ll get the name o’ that truck just hit me?

Jack Russow; Finn fucking Whelan. You suicidal asshole.

Emma Russow: JACK!

Alanah O’Connell-Russow: C’mon babe…let’s take the littles for a stroll.

(Jack spits on the floor towards his father as he turns and escorts Alanah out of the room. Levi lays his head back down and puts the ice pack back on.)

Levi Russow: Well…nice to know Jack’s finally come around.

Emma Russow: How much longer are you gonna keep this up for?

Levi Russow: Keep…what, up?

Emma Russow: This…ILLUSION or maybe mid-life crisis you’re going through where you think you can take all these kids but you just CAN’T, Levi! You don’t have it anymore! We work best in PWS because nobody bothers us there!

Levi Russow: That’s the problem Em! I was a big fish in a small pond that…I don’t know if I was ever DECENT at this shit to begin with!

Emma Russow: You’ve held over 40 World titles!

Levi Russow: Back when i was young, dumb, and full of…anger!

Emma Russow: …right…THAT’S what you were gonna say.

Levi Russow: I got sick of outsiders saying “eww you were trained at the Russow place?” and judging us off of what my brothers and sisters did in the past…they almost didn’t wanna give my kids a chance cause they didn’t know what I could do. Hell, I didn't know if I could do it. But I had to try…and even if I lose 9 matches outta 10…I never backed down. I WILL NOT…BACK DOWN.

(He screams at the doorway where he knows Jack is standing on the other side.)

Levi Russow: These people lost their respect for me Em…or they never had it in the first place. Charlie’s teacher called me…the bullying is getting worse. It’s not just who he is anymore, it’s where he comes from. And poor Rosie can’t stand to look at me unless I win.

Emma Russow: They’re KIDS, Levi…KIDS. What do they know. They know they like chocolate milk and mac and cheese and…okay, yeah, so in the case of Charlie he knows how to rewire and coagulate spliced cables for optimum “Wikipedia” efficiency. But if you’re gonna do this…I want them to see their dad having FUN. ‘Cause that’s what this used to be…FUN.

(Levi sits up and takes Emma’s hand gingerly pressing his forehead to hers.)

Levi Russow: …I had forgotten. What would I be without my Quee-

Emma Russow: =Dead. Full stop. You’d be dead without me.

(Levi and Emma both laugh as she throws her arms around his neck and gently kisses her.)

Emma Russow: You are…REALLY not gonna like who you got next…
“Well I was barely thirteen when the company man, tried to dig my daddy's grave.
It happened on a French owned tanker ship, spilling poison into Galveston Bay.
Where the liquid fire filled his lungs and his eyes, silenced any mortal cries…
Cold and the grip of death stinging pain, he fought like hell…

…to keep the wolves away.”

(We open to see shots of Levi Russow hanging out around the arena, sitting in the hallway watching people bustle back and forth, sitting out in the ring looking around at the lights and screens, wrapping his wrist tape in the locker room but stopping to dap up a couple guys who’s respect he’s earned to say hello. Next thing we see is a set camera upon the roof of the arena as the door opens and Levi Russow walks into frame taking a seat.)

Levi Russow: You know I’ll never get what it is about us wrestlers…especially us high flyers…and sitting on rooftops, y’know? It’s like every time you look at someone’s career, they have at least three rooftop promos…hmm…and I’m no different, y’know? Well…except for the fact that when I’M on a rooftop…I’m typically trying to jump. See, I’ll let you all in on a little secret.

…MY brain…HATES me.

(Levi adjusts in the seat as his expression changes to one of disdain.)

Levi Russow: It’s not something I’m proud of…it’s definitely something that’s been on my mind lately. For Chrissakes my own wife looked me dead in the eye after Finn Whelan just tried to crack my head like a watermelon…and she asked me “Why? What’s it for?” and I…didn’t have an answer for her at first. It was such a fair question, y’know? WAS it a mid-life crisis? I’m certain it’s my ego. But that’s neither here nor there, no instead…I’m telling you this because it’s come to my attention that some of you just…don’t GET me. You don’t get who I am, what I’m about, what I can do…and that’s fine. Because that’s exactly why I’m HERE. I’m not SCARED to dance with Fenris in that ring. I don’t care WHAT kind of foul mood he’s in!

(Levi squints his eyes and starts shaking his head quickly.)

Levi Russow: Did you honestly think this is the first shoeless, pissed off, Wheaties box lookin’ Viking “lone wolf’ that has tried to take me out in the past? HA! There’s been at LEAST two before you! And YEAH I mean, one of ‘em won but that doesn’t mean I’mma roll over like a bitch for YOU, Fenris. ‘Cause you see…they asked why I wanted this match, I’m PISSED. Because you, Alex Jones, James Raven, Manny Fernandez, and that insufferable Finn Whelan and his slightly more tolerable brother Dickie. You’re all I hear about, you’re all I see everywhere on every TV getting showered with the money, and the praise, and the primetime interviews, while I’ve been LITERALLY BREAKING MY NECK…TRYING TO GET MY HOME COMPANY PUT ON THE MAP. And all I hear from any of YOU is the admission that I’m good…but I’m a big fish in a small pond. Motherfucker…there IS no pond without me! I DUG that pond, I KEPT it restocked, and I KEPT it alive this whole time and now I’m an afterthought THERE as well.

(Levi wipes his face as he strains his neck to continue.)

Levi Russow: I don’t give a fuck…that you’re the great Kristjan Baltasarsson…Jesus Christ you people love vowels. You come from one of the most beautiful countries I’ve ever seen though. Reykjavik will always be one of my top vacation spots. Or at least it was…I doubt they let me back into the country after what I’ve done to you. See cause I got a walking target now, Im fully aware of that, my head’s been a little bashed in. But that’s okay! Cause I saw what the Sasquatch Motherfucker did to YOU and I figure we’re about even don’tcha think Krissy? Now…I gotta believe in my heart of hearts that YOU…are gonna be in just one of the most foul moods ever known to mankind but what you need to do is find a way to put that out of your mind…

CAN YOU HEAR THE SILENCE?

Levi Russow: Because if you CAN’T…you’re going to underestimate me. And I am so over being underestimated. The “Big Fish, Small Pond” experiment hasn’t gone quite the way I was hoping it would…until now. Now when I have perhaps arguably the biggest trophy on the line and the best part is? They’ve all got me as the underdog. That’s fine…that’s fine! Throw me to your wolf. This little red riding hood packed a shotgun. Used for killing wolverines in Alaska with my uncle last Summer, GOSH! But I digress…which is bound to happen a lot cause I’m on some hella drugs with a possibable concussurine.

CAN YOU SEE THE DARK?

(Levi zones out for a moment like he has a thousand yard stare…clearly the wheel is spinning but the hamsters dead.)

CAN YOU FIX THE BROKEN?

Levi Russow: What am I doing? Why am I here threatening you like this? I shouldn’t be threatening you I…I should be reassuring you…

CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART!?!?

Levi Russow: Fenris…Kristjan…it’s time I tell you the truth. Everybody is making such a big deal about what you’re going to do to me in this match and that’s because outside the confines of YOUR comfort zone…you’ve been too afraid to do what I’m trying to do now. See I was aware I was all too comfortable in my little corner of New York. I had to reach out and see for myself if I COULD still go if the circumstances would have been different and I…I don’t MIND getting my ass kicked if those fans went home with a story!

…but you do.

Levi Russow: You do…don’t you “Fenris”. It’s funny, you’re this larger than life, Great White Wolf…a lone beast who’s NICKNAME alone sent chills down the spine of local fishermen I’m certain. What’d you do, jump them in the back alley and take their hauls? You put this thought into fighting, I’m doubting you’ve ever done an honest days work with how adept you are at it but me? I wanna see how adept you are. Because they got me as the underdog in this match but that’s only ‘cause they don’t KNOW me. They don’t KNOW the amount of times I’ve been “blown up” and I don’t mean out of breath. They don’t know the amount of times Jack and Bella got kidnapped when they were younger. THEY ADJUSTED FINE…probably! See I don’t know the first thing about you and yes that certainly puts me at a disadvantage but it’s almost cancelled out when you think and realize…you don’t have a fuckin’ clue on the first thing about me. You’ve never seen me from Adam, have you Wolfman? So why’m I gonna be scared of you when YOU don’t even know if you can kick my ass. ‘Cause with each of these dream matches? I’m learning. HBC…I learned to be adaptable. Alex Jones…I learned to be TEACHABLE. Finn Whelan…I learned a level of resilience I’ve never reached before. And I can’t honestly wait to see what YOU teach me, Kristjan. Not Fenris. Kristjan. Because when I look at you I don’t SEE a wolf…I see a scared shitless kid who’s looking over his shoulder for a Big Bad Monster. There are things that go bump in the night…but you got my word, they interfere in THIS match?

…we become the things…that bump back. Get better soon, Milo!

(Levi stands up and walks to the edge turning around and saluting as he freefalls off the side. We hear gasps below as we fade to black before we can hear the THWAP of the giant cushion.)

(It’s a bustling day at Russow Manor as everyone rushes around trying to prepare for the day, except of course for his son Charlie who is, as always, reading a book in the library. Jack and Alanah had spent the night with the new grandbabies so while everyone was busy bustling around trying to prepare things for them...Levi sat in the Cracker Barrel rocking chair he bought just for the occasion...as he sits rocking both of his grandchildren back and forth.)

Levi Russow: What the Hell am I doing...I’m a grandfather now, I don’t have time or the talent to be stepping into that ring with Goddamn ALEX JONES of all people.

Emma Russow: Yeah he REALLY doesn’t seem to like you much.

(Levi looks up and the vision of his BEAUTIFUL wife Emma sways into the room as she sees little Elise start to get fussy as she takes her from Levi who adjusts Patrick over his shoulder.)

Levi Russow: There’s a Paddy boy-o!

Emma Russow: Oh my God they've mixed Russow with Irish.

Levi Russow: Russow was already Irish, love. Irish, Scottish, Norwegian, Native American, and English.

Emma Russow: ...that explains just...SO much.

Levi Russow: Innit though!?

Emma Russow: That’s another thing, I’m worried about Mack...ever since he got his little…”friends”...he's been different.

Levi Russow: Mack is Mack honey...I can’t worry about that anymore.

(There’s an awkward silence for a few moments until Emma breaks the silence.)

Emma Russow: ...you scared?

Levi Russow: PETRIFIED.

Emma Russow: Then WHY? WHY are we doing this again?

Levi Russow: I don’t expect you to get it, love. But I have to make sure my kids are taken care of. Now I know Alex Jones is a beast...I’ve watched enough to know that. But I don’t know if he’s ever REALLY had someone step into that ring and win or lose change everything he knows about RESPECT in this game.

Emma Russow: And why do you think that’s YOUR job? We watch SCW every week! You KNOW what that roster can do! You know there’s just as many people on that show that could take Alex Jones down at any point he slips up. Why, Levi. Why does it have to be YOU?

Levi Russow: Because he called ME to. And if he lets the opinions of one…”decrepit old man”...shake his groups foundation down to it’s little core, than it’s more unstable than I had originally feared and I need to show Lach and Miles they’re better off coming back home.

Emma Russow: ...so that’s it? You feel like they’ve abandoned you?

Levi Russow: NO...I feel like I abandoned THEM.

Emma Russow: …wh-what? Oh…

Levi Russow: I gave Lach a few pointers I saw when he was here helping Alanah train...so I don’t worry about him too much. But Miles? I was harder on Miles than I’ve ever been on any student I’ve ever had before or since. But he stuck it out. He took my criticisms and critiques and now he’s one of the best in the world. I just hope he knows it.

Emma Russow: *sigh* Well...I already know I can’t stop you. Just...be safe?

Levi Russow: Always love.


(We open to the scene of a throne sitting in the middle of a raised red carpet. It’s haggard and broken...it hasn’t seen love for many a year now. When suddenly, Levi Russow steps into the scene and runs his hand along the cracked top of it greeting it like an old friend.)

Levi Russow: I had this made when I won King of the Ring. I used this four times actually. Three different companies but...you take what you can when it boosts the checks, huh?

(Levi takes a deep breath and sits on the throne as it crackles underneath his weight. He exhales with a smile.)

Levi Russow: KING OF THE WOLVES!!! That’s what they call you right? Hmm? The Big, Bad Wolf? You been pickin’ off the little piggies around this company as you please just coming and going. And you think cause you’re carrying that title around that people deserve to just fawn over you. THAT’S...why I’m here, AJ. I’M here cause you need to be taught a lesson in humility and respect. See you blasted me on Twitter saying that I was just taking pot shots and I would never do anything about it. Here we are Bitch, say fuckin’ when!

(Levi crosses his legs as he rubs his temple going on.)

Levi Russow: No...no no no this doesn’t feel right. This doesn’t FEEL like it needs to. I can recognize that...I recognize that I have no dog in this den of wolves. I did. But I made a mistake...see I thought I was protecting Milo and Lach...they don’t need me to protect them. They don’t need a damn thing. I know you’ve shot sideways glances at Lach’s new title...that’s your brand, isn’t it? Bully the fuck out of people until you get what you want? Lemme ask you something, “King of the Wolves”...

(Levi leans forward, wiping his mouth and cracking his neck starting to get a little bit of fire underneath him.)

Levi Russow: You’re a smart lil’ boy...so I know you know what the definition of “Regicide” is. If you’re NOT...the textbook definition is “the murder of ones King or leader’ and I gotta tell ya...Game of Thrones left a bad taste in my fuckin’ mouth and I’ve wanted to try beheading someone ever since Eddard Stark got totally bodied SPOILER ALERT!!!

(Levi shakes his head repeatedly trying to stay in this zone...he had a bad habit of wandering. He couldn’t afford that this time. Not with this trained killer coming for his throat to prove a point to his pack. Levi’s eyes suddenly shift as he stands up straightening his shirt before tooking one loving look back at the old throne as he exits the door...we follow him. We’re now in the hallways of the museum portion of The Russow Academy.)

Levi Russow: Impressive, isn’t it? No no...it’s not all me. See the Russows have been around...well I guess ever since I popped up. See...because until my brothers and I? Russow...wasn’t even a name people could pronounce correctly. “ROO-SEW”. And that’s probably for the best.

(Levi walks up to a door that says “Origins” and enters, taking a deep breath...we’re suddenly walking through the rickety front door of a ramshackle ply-wood shack in the dead of winter.)

Levi Russow: My brother Jesse and I...were born in a small fishing village somewhere on the outskirts of Nome, Alaska to a fisherman and his wife. Also to become known as Satan and Satan’s Bitch. The only reason we know our names was because I was old enough to remember them when the cops finally ripped us away from the fucking beatings I’d take if I couldn’t shoot a fuckin’ deer because I didn’t wanna kill something else that was living. Am I a vegetarian? No? But I don’t pick the vegetables in my side dishes either. You’re not offended, you just want attention. I digress. I was in the middle of telling you WHY taking this fight against me was a baaaaad fuckin’ idea. See we had an Aunt that took us in that knew what kind of family she’d left us behind with. Tore her up inside...broke her heart seeing us again. Thought for years that’s what killed her. Turns out you can’t chainsmoke for 28 years and breathe right...who knew.

(Levi turns into the next room and stands in front of a large painting of a stately orphanage.)

Levi Russow: St. Mary’s...Catholics can only wrap the knuckles of the kids with parents, but when they go home…

(Levi’s eyes suddenly close and he winces as if he’s hearing the shrillest noise in the world blasted at a thousand decibels right in his ears until he shakes it off forcing himself to look away from the camera...tears welling.)

Levi Russow: You’ve never heard horrors so profound as you do in an uncaring orphanage at night. That’s where we took in our third musketeer, Daniel. Made him a Russow cause he couldn’t remember his last name...or didn’t want to. We never asked.

(Levi cracks his neck looking at a portrait of his first mugshot with “STAY WILD!!!” smudged across it with a sign that says “Sundance Canyon Academy” as he walks into the next room. It’s cold.)

Levi Russow: And that was it. I’d busted out...contrary to what you would think about something as beautiful sounding as “Sundance Canyon Academy” as being somewhere that actually gives...ANY sort of a fuck about a disappearing orphan with anger issues. I was stuck...in THIS particular hellhole...until I was 16 and big enough to knock out the attending. But after that...also contrary to what you might have yourself to believe, sports fans, the world doesn’t give a rats ass about a 16 year old runaway orphan with anger issues. But my ANGER issues...are what kept me the  fuck ALIVE. You fistfight full grown men by day...by night you steal cars to make up for what you couldn’t earn earlier. So what?

(Levi rubs the back of his head as his eyes squint in memory.)

Levi Russow: You ever hear the thud of a baseball bat hitting a hollow pipe? No one ever said I gots the brains of the bunch. When I woke up, I was on a couch. Now comes the part where I’m supposed to tell you that it was the guy that hit me and he did it to Mr. Miyagi me into the world of wrestling!

...which I would!

...if that were RRRRRRRREMOTELY true.

Levi Russow: No I got cracked upside the back of the head for trying to steal a car...that part happened. No when *I* woke up, I got processed out of jail and given community service cleaning up after the local wrestling shows. I knew it all don’t you know...so I popped off to the boys one day that not a damn one of them could whoop my ass!

...and when they were done whoopin’ my ass…

(Levi laughs to himself then walks up and looks at a picture on the wall of a young him posing with the other wrestlers of his class.)

Levi Russow: And the rest...as they say...is history.

(Levi bounces up and down and cracks his neck clearing his throat loudly.)

Levi Russow: HISTORY...that is...best saved for another time. Don’t wanna go puttin’ the horse before the cart too quick huh? So what was the point of this? Easy answer. YOU asked “who the fuck do I think I am”? I don’t need to hide, I don’t need to run, I don’t even know how to SPELL the word kayfabe. So I’m comin’ out and tellin’ you EXACTLY who the fuck I am. You need anymore references? You go ask Lach and Milo...because at some point and time, they’re gonna be out there…

...after that match...to drag me off of you.

Levi Russow: Because here's the thing you half-cocked, slab of a bitch. I don’t know you. I don’t like you. Can my boys make their own opinions? Of COURSE they can...but if they ask my opinion...and fuck it, let’s call it for what it is, even if they DON’T...I calls ‘em likes I sees ‘em. You’re nothing but a foul, manipulative, power-hungry psychopath who surrounds himself with REAL talent to protect himself and that precious little title to which he so desperately cleaves to. And all I’ve gotten is nothing but gruff for steppin’ up. “Who’s THIS asshole?” “That’s not Jack, why’s he get such a high profile match!?” and I get it, man, if I was a young and hungry competitor in today’s modern society I’d probably be hot under the collar about it to but folks...this ain’t about that title...YET. This is about pushing a guy I’ve entrusted with the careers of two young men I care very much about to make sure he’s every bit as good as he THINKS he is. ‘Cause I know how good he CAN be.

...and THAT’S...what we’ll CALL...CHAPTER ONE…

(With that, Levi exits out into the hallway as we hear bumps being taken off in the distance as we fade to black.)

“Imma stop singing this song…
Cuz I’m high.
I’m singin’ this whole thing wrong…
‘Cuz I’m high.
And now you can’t read this shit…
And I know why!
I wrote it while I was high!
Wrote it while I was high!
Wrote it while I was hiiiiiigh!”

(We hear the clicking of controller buttons and explosions in the darkened surround sound theatre where we see Levi Russow...empty chip and fast food bags everywhere...dark circles under his eyes...with a massive three chamber bong in front of him.)

Levi Russow: No tiddysprankles22 YOUR MOM is the blowjobber!!! And wha-oh now you’re cryin’? NOOOOW he’s cryin’. Yeah, yeah, Hi Mrs. Honeycutt. Yes I know it’s just a game. Yes i know he’s ten. Well if he didn’t want this work he shouldn’t be usin’ the big boy words in this house! What!? No..no YOU are! YOU’RE immature! YO-

(The clink of curtains being quickly drawn echoes through the air as sunlight beams into the vampires eyes and he hisses like that of a feral roaming cat. A stray cat. Stray cat strut I’m a ladies cat. Zoot Suit Riot...this was pretty much the same sooooong! Anyway, its Levi’s wife.)

Emma Russow: WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE A SEVENTH GRADE LOCKER IN HERE!?

Levi Russow: I PEE’D IN A GATORADE BOTTLE!!!

Emma Russow: EWW THAT’S FUCKING DISGUSTING!!! WHY!?

Levi Russow: I’VE NO IDEA!!!

(Levi collapses back into his chair rubbing his eyes and grabbing for his bong which is slid out of the way by Emma as he paws for it like a child after a baba...butIlikeacookie…*ahem* she scolds on…)

Emma Russow: Why the fuck aren’t you preparing for your match?

Levi Russow: I AM. Trust me.

(Levi clicks the TV over to show a montage of Agostino Romano promos.)

Levi Russow: TRRRRRRRUST me…

(Levi quickly throws himself at his prey and slides halfway across the floor hitting it at the same time before blowing the smoke at his wife.)

Levi Russow: Trust me...if you’re gonna do tape with me...this is gonna help.

(Emma stares at him with her arms crossed and a stern looking scowl on her face...that lightens…)

-One Hour Later-
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(We see light from the upper window illuminate into the smoke filled room as Emma exhales a large cloud and starts to cough as Levi screams and stomps his feet.)

Levi Russow: That’s my GIRL!!!

Emma Russow: Wait so like...he just...TALKS!!!

Levi Russow: That’s how I see it.

Emma Russow: He gets a red rocket for crotch rockets...and he talks. That’s...what?

Levi Russow: ...I wanna Tour of Italy...Imma place an Uber Eats, you want anything?

Emma Russow; ...just so much...TALKING. And like, he’s not SAYING anything!

(Levi exhales and clicks away at his phone.)

Levi Russow: Gonna get 2 Tours of Italy...I’ll eat what’chu don’t.

Emma Russow: LEVI!

Levi Russow: WHAT WOMAN!?

Emma Russow: PAY THE FUCK ATTENTION, THERE’S OBVIOUSLY A CAMERA HERE!

Levi Russow: OH SHIT! I THOUGHT I IMAGINED THAT, HIDE THE SHIT!

Emma Russow: It’s a lil’ late NOW don’tcha think? Besides. We have licenses for it. It’s legal.

Levi Russow: They can tax an arm and a leg outta it...but the American Dream is still alive, dammit!

Emma Russow: Probably shouldn’t scream that too loud facing off against an immigrant, babe.

Levi Russow: Holy shit dude...you’re totally right, good CALL babe!

(Levi wipes his eyes and adjusts himself up to the edge of his seat holding up a finger about to speak matter of factly before...he slowly falls backwards with his legs crossed and his hands folded on his chest.)

Levi Russow: Ah Agostino it’s how they say…”tranquilo, assenayo.’ Now I get it. You’re super stoked on what you did in the motocross world. And as you should be! See there is an actual sport you can thrive at! Now...I can’t be too “mean” to you. I AM working a face angle after all!

(Levi pretends to pull on the collar of his shirt like “oh brother!”)

Levi Russow: I’m not gonna lie to you Agostino...I forgot about you. Because you’re that fucking forgetable. I’m the PATRIARCH of the RUSSOW Family, kid! I’m the Kazuya Kiryu of this fuckin’ company and you? You’re like the rambling old man guys like me take the fall for murderin’. But that’s the best part! I’m gonna off you on live TV and no one is gonna care!

Emma Russow: LEVI!

Levi Russow: FINNNNNEEE...I’m going to compete my heart out respectably in that ring where my name was blessed enough to flourish IS THAT BETTER!?

Emma Russow: Much!

Levi Russow: Good! Look, you’re gonna get your ears talked off...God knows I’m not here for it. You can show yourselves out!

(With that the camera fades to black with Levi picking the controller back up.)

-SUPERHERO-

“Sure as the bird will fly...
I'll be standing by your side.
On and on and on and on...
...I will be your superhero!
And if you're lost in the cold dark night...
...I will be your guiding light!
On and on and on and on…”


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(Lights kick out...there’s no one there…)

*SNAP!*

(Suddenly a single spotlight shines down  in the middle of the room where “The Iceman” Levi Russow sits playing a piano.)

The Iceman Levi Russow:: Hi, friends. Oops! Some of you may not know me...oh who am I kidding, of COURSE you do!

(There’s suddenly a smattering of boos as Levi snaps…)

The Iceman Levi Russow::: HEEL FOR LIFE, YOU BOUGHT THE TICKET!!!

(Levi regains his composure and starts playing a lovely melody that I can’t describe to you through words so just hush...and the first pretty song that comes to your head? That. We’re gonna do THAT.)

The Iceman Levi Russow:: Regardless...I’m here tonight to let you all know that you are about to receive... a gift. Too long you’ve tweeted for it...too long have we hidden it away...but we can’t do that anymore. Because 2020 SUCKED BALLS!

“SORTA LANGUAGE!”

The Iceman Levi Russow:: APOLOGIES! But it did! And so there was only...one...answer.

(Levi dramatically snaps his fingers and on a spinning lazy Susan in the background stands the HULKING frame of a Slappy McGoo in a shape like we’ve never seen him before.)

Slappy McGoo: ...Hullo!

The Iceman Levi Russow:: Slap...Slapster...Slapmaster General...Herbert Whipplebottom the IV-

Slappy McGoo: MR. LEVI YOU PROMISED!

The Iceman Levi Russow:: I KNOW! I KNOW! That was the last time!...Herbe-

(Suddenly a chair comes crashing past Levi’s head as he slams his hands on the piano.)

The Iceman Levi Russow:: THAT’S IT! It’s time you were told. Slap...I know you’re stoked on being in this Blast For The Past tournament...but I’m...I’m not makin’ the ride with you this time, kiddo.

Slappy McGoo: ...WUT!?

The Iceman Levi Russow:: Slap I can’t make you a bigger star than you already are...I KNOW you’ve followed your Twitter the past couple years…

Slappy McGoo: I reckon…

The Iceman Levi Russow:: It’s time you branched out, Big Dog. BUT! Never you fret! You won’t be alone...I figure with THIS place and its history? They might recognize someone else...a little better.

(Suddenly the door swings open and Jack Russow comes swaggering through looking over his aviators, rolling a toothpick in his mouth, popping the collar on his weird ass leather jacket that only has one sleeve. Y’know...the basics. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion as we cut back to Levi and Slappy who are in regular time as we just see Jack moving in slow motion for no reason.)

Slappy McGoo: ...is he...is he gonna do that the WHOLE tim-

Jack Russow: SCW has a disease...we’re the cure!

Slappy McGoo: ...you watched Cobra aga-

Jack Russow: -I watched Cobra again…

Slappy McGoo: ...Mr. Jack.

Jack Russow: Yeah Slap?

Slappy McGoo: ...don’t uhm...don’t lemme make a fool of muhself, mmkay?

(Jack walks over and puts his hands on Slappy’s shoulders.)

Jack Russow: Slap. You are one of the single strongest, most bad-butted-

Slappy McGoo: -Thank You.-

Jack Russow: -Welcome. Big men on the PLANET! You could probably BREAK a planet! We’ll call you Thanos!

(The aura in the room suddenly changes as the mood on Slappy McGoo’s face changes VERY drastically...almost to the point of his infamous snapping rage. He stomps towards a retreating Jack before pinning both Jack AND Levi up against the bookcase in the illuminated study of Russow Manor...everything is immensely tense for a moment as Slappy leans down reminiscent of the scene from Alien where the Xenomorph is hissing in Ridley’s ear and she’s all crying and...you get the point. Slappy absolutely snarls.)

Slappy McGoo: I. Don’t. Like. BULLIES!!!

(And as he screams bullies he just grabs the entire bookcase as Levi and Jack roll out of the way just in time to miss the hurtling, rolling mass of wood that’s just been chucked about ten feet.)

Jack Russow: WOAH!

The Iceman Levi Russow:: We’re gonna get sued for copyright but it’s on SCW’s dime so...fuck it, s’worth a shot. HEY BIG GUY! Sun’s gettin’ real low!

Jack Russow: ...really?

(It works though. It works because of the sheer stupidity of Levi TRYING to calm Slappy down like the Hulk from the Avengers movie WE ALL FORGET ABOUT that makes even Slappy snap back to reality with a pained look of confusion on his face at his boss.)

Jack Russow: And on THAT note...c’mon Big Dude. I got all your papers and everything all lined out. You’ll get to meet your partner when you get there...but I should warn you…

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMM JEEEEEEEEPERS!!!!!”

Slappy McGoo: No.

(The scene opens in the bustling backstage of SCW as people are starting to take notice of the giant mound of humanity military pressing himself as tight against the inner wall of an office, wide-eyed and concerned. Jack Russow stands nearby with his hands out trying to explain to Slappy.)

Jack Russow: Slap...listen to me…

Slappy McGoo: Oh...no...no no...thank you though.

Jack Russow: It’s NOT Candy, it’s a friend of hers! And from what we hear? She’s REALLY good so you got a chance to win this thing Big Fella!

Candy: *from down the hall (WITH PERMISSION FROM JULIE)* OMG I WAS SO HOPING THAT LIKE, SLAPPY WAS GONNA BE *MY* PARTNER WHEN I HEARD HE WAS COMING BACK BUT OOOOOOOH KEIRA!!!!! I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOOOOOOU!

Slappy McGoo: Much...lovely girl...BIT much.

Jack Russow: I’m aware. But listen up bud, you gotta get your head in the game...this is where it all starts! Let’s GO!

Slappy McGoo: Oh! Oh my!

(Jack pushes Slappy out into the hallway in full view...and that’s when he’s seen by people that remember him from his first small run in SCW...and the smattering of buzz doesn’t get any better when a former SCW Roulette Champion, a flash-in-the-pan snot nosed kid that made history steps out to guide him! All of a sudden...a small round of applause starts. Slappy...freezes...as he looks around and recognizes some of the medical staff that had helped him after his knee and some of the jobbers and undercarders show their respect. Slappy starts breathing super intensely as he gives the most pitiful nervous smile and tiny little laugh as people start to surround him.)

Slappy McGoo: Oh! Oh hullo! Yes...uh huh! Oh gosh! Umm...Uhh...If I could just...JAAAAAACK!

(Suddenly like a Heavenly-lit linebacker Jack Russow puts his head down and barrels Slappy out of the middle of the group as he pushes him towards Candy and Keira taking a couple deep breaths as an ear shattering shriek bursts out and we see Candy in Slappy’s arms like the little kitten clinging to the bulldogs face in that one Looney Tunes. You know the one. Jack is handling the mass of humanity with questions in the background as Slappy finally peels Candy off of him as he stands in front of Keira for the first time hyperventilating.)

Slappy McGoo: H-Hullo...I-I’m Slappy...you can...you can call me Slappy...or Slap...Slapster...really anything you can think of! Oh God I’m rambling…

(He’s probably getting VERY weird expressions right now what with the towering mass of subliminal unbridled rage standing like a kid in front of the principal and the principal just told him he was gonna call his ma...I am CRUSHING it with these segues.)

Slappy McGoo: UHH...UHH...D-I ALSO LIKE SUPERHEROES AND STUFF AND GLITTER DOESN’T BOTHER ME THAT BAD EITHER AND DON’T EVEN WORRY ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN, I’VE HAD ANOTHER TAG PARTNER THAT WAS AN IMMIGRANT TOO! BUT I’M REAL EXCITED TO BE YOUR PARTNER AND I CAN’T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE CAUSE I’M REALLY REALLY BAD IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS AND I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE LIKE ALL TEAM HERO AND THAT’S AWESOME BUT LAST TIME I WAS HERE I MADE JACKETS SO...HERE. YOU CAN WEAR IT OR PUT IT ON A WET SEAT TO KEEP YOUR BOTTOM DRY OR REALLY ANYTHING YOU WANT WITH IT, IUNNO, PLEASE DON’T HATE IT, MMKAY BYE!!!

(And with that, Slappy hits a DEAD SPRINT down the hallway crashing out into the loading dock. He’s doubled over hyperventilating against one of the show trucks when out of nowhere...a hand reaches in and hands him his inhaler. He looks up to see...his wife. Jami Burnett. The smark fans pop from not having seen her in over a year. Slappy instantly looks like he might cry as she cups his massive face with her tiny little hand and leads the other to his mouth so he can inhale his medicine.)

Slappy McGoo: James I gotta tells ya...I thought I could handle all this bein’ back stuff but it’s really, really hard! How do y’all do it so well!?

Jami Burnett: Well my sister and I pulled it off because we hate people...Jack, Bella, Malachi, and Alanah are all doing it cause they have something to prove...Levi did it because they grew up unwanted and...at his peak, he was Levi FUCKING Russow...it was like a drug to him. And he hooked his brothers on it, his nieces and nephews on it, YOU.

Slappy McGoo: Oh he didn’t hook me on to nothin’! That umm...that was dad’s fault…

(Slappy’s head suddenly drops as Jami takes his hands in her and presses her forehead to his massive framed forehead.)

Jami Burnett: ...Herbie I know...your dad would be SO proud of you!

Slappy McGoo: Fer what? I crashed and burned last time…

Jami Burnett: You got a legitimate injury in a LADDER MATCH! I THINK you’re cleared here, cowboy.

Slappy McGoo: Yeah but...I ran.

Jami Burnett: Yeah well, you rock too.

*crickets*

Jami Burnett: Toooough friggin’ crowd, man!

Slappy McGoo: Aww naw baby it’s coo, they just ain’t seen me do what I do what I do…

Jami Burnett: ...what the HELL did you just say?

Slappy McGoo: Cause it was like...I was talkin’ like...nevermind.

Jami Burnett: Slap you need to focus. Why...are you here?

Slappy McGoo: Well I thought it’d be kinda fu-

Jami Burnett: WHY...are you HERE?

Slappy McGoo: We could always use a little extra mone-

Jami Burnett: WHY. ARE. YOU. HERE!?!?!?

Slappy McGoo: I DON’T LIKE BULLIES, ARE YA HAPPY? CREPES IN ITALY!!!

Jami Burnett: Honey…

Slappy McGoo: Yes?

(She walks back up and takes his hand kissing it before smiling warmly at him.)

Jami Burnett: That’s enough playing around...it’s time. This company is full of nothing but backstabbing bullies. So many people wanna take advantage of the size of your heart. DON’T!

Slappy McGoo: I’m just in a tough place, babe! I’m fightin’ my tag partners WIFE!!!

Jami Burnett: ...Granted...That’s gonna complicate things come Christmas Card time but this is what you worked...SO HARD for! LOOK at you! Have you SEEN yourself!? Put triplets in me!

(Slappy can’t help but laugh as he gives Jami a kiss nodding his head and walking out to find a camera and a microphone. Out of nowhere a tattered Jack Russow comes powersliding into frame, aviators crooked...jacket disheveled...eyes wide.)

Jack Russow: I’M HERE! I’m here! I got your promo!

Slappy McGoo: ...we’re uhm...we ain’t gonna do that this time, kiddo.

Jack Russow: ...say who did what now?

Slappy McGoo: ...I came back for a reason...I should be the one ta let tha people know.

Jack Russow: ...but...I came to be the promo guy...you’re SURE?

Slappy McGoo: ...I got this. Just...be the hype man or whatever.

(Jack does his special handshake with Slappy who basically raised him cause God knows how the Russow Family operates as he steps offscreen...Slappy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a silver ball bearing. It’s quite clearly a pinball.)

Slappy McGoo: I hate ta put tha limits o’ love to tha test like this...an’ I’m awful honored ta be Ms. Keira’s partner...an’ I know the Main Event is a big deal...and it’s cause o’ you two annit SHOULD be, ya know! I”m just...I’m real honored ta be a part of it all.

Jack Russow: BUT THAT SAID…

(Slappy suddenly turns back into what can only be described as the aura of an oncoming natural disaster as EVERYONE suddenly gets drastically uncomfortable.)

Slappy McGoo: Y’know my Daddy...he raised me up in the old arcades. Worked like a dog every day until he could afford ta open his own. But see ma Daddy was a silly kinda man. ‘Cause there was only one game for him…

(Slappy rolls the pinball in his fingers as he turns and sits on the edge of a truck bed that instantly just...drops.)

Slappy McGoo: ...I miss my daddy. Time goes on...maybe I tell you a lil’ more ‘bout him. But I got no time for that right now...see I been watchin’ ya...SCW...SCU...them G.R.I.M.E weirdos! YOU guys gotta bad case o’ tough guys that like ta pick on people half their size! You gotta company o’ bimbos that stand before God himself and bully YOU into saying “Yes! Yes! You’re the best! Take our shiny belts!” WELL I AIN’T NEVER HAD A SHINY BELT!!!

(Slappy fixates on the ball rotating between his fingers.)

Slappy McGoo: Everyone was so excited to see me…’cause they thought “here comes that goof...that oaf...that boob! “Oh it’s Mr. Slap...Nice...Slapnicesir Slap...sir.” I know you’re just waitin’ for me ta mess somethin’ up! An’ that’s FINE! YOU WANNA BULLY SOMEONE, YA COME BULLY ME!!! Ion’t wanna hurt Roxi Johnson...I AIN’T gonna hurt Roxi Johnson...but Cassian Reed? You gossa REAL attitude problem, son! The drinkin’ and the partyin’ and the whorin’...the disrespect ya blatantly show for each and every one of these co-workers who SHOULD have your RESPECT! But don’t you worry...see, ‘cause while I ain’t so ready to jump in the middle o’ family warfare? That just means I got all the time in the world to straighten you like a piece of rusted rebar! My therapist said...said I got a lotta BAD I hold onto...that’s why I used to SNNNNNAP! Remember!? But it’s okay…*laughing* it’s...it’s okay! I gots a hold of it now! And now that I do and I can control who I target?

Jack Russow: Dude...cue the Anberlin, this was over before it ever began!

Slappy McGoo: See cause I had a dream the other night! And it was my FATHER! And he was tellin’ me how he was THERE...how PROUD he was! My weddin’! Tha birth o’ ma daughter! Openin’ the Silver Ball! But he told me...he said “son...the only thing I ever heard you talk about in your life...was bein’ a pro wrasslin’ champion. What happened?” I said “Daddy, I blew out ma knee! They almost replaced it!” an’ he said “...yeah? Ya got TWO of ‘em don’tcha!?” and I said “Daddy that ain’t how it works!” and he took my hand...and he looked me in the eyes and he said “I can’t rest...until I’ve seen you...HAPPY, Slappy. You wear so much on your shoulders...so much strain on that colossal cranium of yours. Son...Ion’t want’cha to do this for ME...I want’cha ta do it for YOU!”

(Slappy flicks the ball up in the air and catches it. Suddenly popping up behind Jack scaring the crap out of him screaming the new trigger words as loud as she could...)

Jami Burnett: [size=118]CHANTICLEER YOU GOTTA CROW, AND YA GOTTA CROW *NOW*!!!![/size][/b]

(As soon as Slappy catches the ball? He double hammer fists the truck COLLAPSING the side of it with a dent big enough for Jami to climb up and sit in...which of course she does because, weird. Slappy turns around looking like an absolutely heaving, savage mercenary.)

Slappy McGoo: ...Round One...FIGHT!!!

(With that, Slappy slides on HIS jacket he had made as Jack and Jami roll their eyes and slide on THEIR jackets that on the back, in TERRIBLE embroidering, we see “#SuperGummyBearMafia on the backs of them as they pile back into the arena.)

“I will never lay down...
Until I see this through.
I will fight, I will battle...
...Decimating all at will.
THOSE WHO STAND TO OPPOSE...
THE LOVE I FEEL FOR YOU!!!
I WILL FIGHT, I WILL BATTLE...
...FOR A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU!!!”

I WILL BE YOUR SUPERHERO!!!!!!!

 -It’s My Turn To Keep The Wolves Away-
By Jack Russow
scwrestling.net blog

This world...is bullshit.

It’s everything you ever dreamed it would be...if that dream were a nightmare...and everything in that nightmare was carpet bombed with napalm.

THAT...is the world you live in.

See I get a lot of flack from people...and you all know why by now. I don’t NEED to keep droning on and on about the adversities I’ve had to overcome. And whether you like to admit it or not there WERE adversities I had to overcome.

“Silver-Spooned Rich Boy”

Man those words...just looking at them written before me. Fill me with such a burning, annoying anguish that doesn’t just boil my blood, it sets my very bones on fire. See I will admit for all the family turmoil, for all the death threats and explosions and kidnappings, when we weren’t in the public’s eye? I did have a wonderful life. I got to travel places and experience things that some people could only ever dream of.

...people like Jack Washington.

And I feel bad about that. I don’t...pretend to know his story and I surely don’t pretend to understand what HE’S been through or overcome. I guess...if he’s reading this, and he IS reading this...I’d want him to know that I’m GLAD he chose SCW. And I’m glad I’m his first big test outside of the Blast From The Past tournament. I know he turned a lot of heads...turned mine, that’s for damn sure. But I want you all to remember...one...important...thing.

...I...I’M the one who beat Griffin Hawkins...I ended the historic reign…

...and I’M...your new Roulette champion...so if you’re comin’ for me? You best come correct.

...and may the best...Jack...win.

*BUZZ*

(Jack closes his laptop and looks at his phone...it’s a tweet from the account of his missing friend Mattie Cormier...beloved of his best friend, Mack McKane. They’d been looking for Mack...and Mack has been off looking for Mattie. They didn’t even get the chance to celebrate their new title reigns together. While Jack captured the SCW Roulette Championship...Mack had captured the PWS:Apex World Heavyweight Championship but his celebration was cut short with Mattie’s abduction. Jack looks at his phone...and his blood runs cold.)

“Mattie Cormier @MattieArt
All these tough talkers, spewing their vitriol and hatred...
Amusing.
Perhaps if @MissAlanah is so lonely for her friend...we can arrange for them to be reunited.”

(Almost as if on cue there’s a knock at the hotel door...Jack’s girlfriend Alanah O’Connell gets up from the couch in the villa’s lobby and heads towards the door. Jack grabs the closest thing he can...his acoustic guitar and he starts bolting towards Alanah screaming…)

Jack Russow: ‘LANAH DON’T-

(He was a step too late and she had cracked open the door...which flew off the handle as a group of masked men, about five in numbers, suddenly crashed into the room and two of them grabbed Alanah’s arms. However they must have missed the memo that Alanah herself is the PWS United Champion as she stomps on the instep of one of her attackers and clocks the other with her newly freed hand as the third lunges towards her and Jack sends his guitar crashing square in the middle of the man’s skull flooring him as the other two men wrap around Jack’s waist and drag him to the ground. Jack was still sore from his brutal battle with Griff as he sees the two men Alanah was fighting off get a vase broken over one's head and the other dragged out into the hallway respectively. Jack can’t focus as he’s dodging stomps and punches until one of his attackers is picked up and viciously thrown against the wall and Alanah cracks the other over the head with a lamp as the ones who CAN recuperate start grabbing their comrades and book it out of the room. Alanah kneels next to Jack helping him up gingerly as they both look at their rescuer. A tattooed man in probably his early to mid 30’s dusting off his coat and picking his bowler hat up off the ground placing it firmly back on his head.)

Man: ...is everyone alright?

Jack Russow: Ho...ly...shit.

Alanah O’Connell: We are thanks to you err...sir?

Jack Russow: Look closer at his face, babe.

(Alanah kinda squints her eyes and they suddenly fly wide open as her and Jack stand, Jack holding his ribs.)

Jack Russow: ...I was startin’ to think you weren’t real.

Man: I figured it was time at least WE met, innit…

(The man takes his hat off with one hand covering his heart and takes Alanah’s hand with his other and kisses it, bowing…)

Man: Kenny McKane...at your service, love.

(Alanah suddenly FLUSHES bright red as she lets out an “oh my!” as Jack gets a weird look on his face and darts his gaze back and forth before he clears his throat and Kenny let’s go of her hand and rightens himself as he shakes Jack’s hand and puts his hat back on his head.)

Kenny McKane: Daresay, neither of you have seen that brother of mine around lately, have you?

Jack Russow: I was kinda hopin’ you had.

Kenny McKane: No such luck...just a trail of anguish and destruction left in his wake, but I calculate we’ll find him.

(Jack suddenly gets a very serious, very stern look on his face...Mack was like a brother to him...this was eating Jack alive...and for those not in the know, Kenny was imprisoned for what Mack thought was the murder of their psychotic, abusive father...but the truth was outed a few months ago that it was for ATTEMPTED murder and their father was still alive and now aligned with the somehow even more deranged Reverend Synister...both of whom kidnapped Mack’s beloved Mattie. However, even though Jack understood his reasons...he begrudge Kenny for lying to Mack all those years.)

Jack Russow: I appreciate you saving our asses...and probably saving Alanah from Mattie’s fate. But I been waitin’ for the chance to meet you...and look you in the eye. See-

Kenny McKane: With respect Jack...I know exactly what you’re going to say. And you’re absolutely right. I lied to my brother...I broke his trust and I buggered his head up perhaps just as much as the notion of our father’s survival. And I know now that I was, of course, wrong for that. And I, too, been waitin’ for the chance to look YOU in the eye...and say thank you. Don’t know if it were fate or providence what crossed you an’ my brothers paths but...I’m damn grateful for you and yours. You been a far better brother to him than I ever were. And for that, you have my thanks. But now that the pleasantries have been dolled out…’fraid this is where we part for the moment.

Jack Russow: If you find him...tell him we’re on our way.

Kenny McKane: Quite. *he takes off his hat and gives a little bow to Alanah* Ma’am. *She flushes like a schoolgirl again as he and Jack have another strong handshake as he turns and ghosts out the door shortly before the police arrive*

-I Am Jack’s Blinding Rage-

“By all means!
Put me through hell...
And I'll make you see.
I'll be your worst enemy...
Try to kick, kick, kick me when I'm down!”

(The camera begins rolling as elevator doors open and we turn and venture down a hallway where just about halfway down we see two police officers seemingly standing guard in front of a now rickety door barely hanging on one hinge as they hold up a hand to stop the cameraman…)

Police: Hey hey….no paparazzi, no reporte-

Jack Russow: It’s fine officer...I asked them to come by...it’s for work.

(The cop shakes his head and pushes open the door as we see Jack Russow sitting in the middle of the couch in the foyer of the villa. He’s perched right on the edge with his hands pressed together like he’s praying pressed against his mouth. As soon as the camera comes into place we see Alanah call the dogs into the next room but little Pip the Papillon doesn’t want to go...his eyes are still fixed on Jack like he’s worried about him.)

Alanah O’Connell: Pippers! C’mon! Let’s go to the fort!

(Pip whimpers and nudges Jack’s arm as Jack calmly reaches and picks him up holding him up to his face…)

Jack Russow: ...you don’t listen very well.

(Pip barks and licks Jack’s nose...and for the first time, Jack cracks a smile. Which warms Alanah’s heart as she crosses her arms and teasingly says…)

Alanah O’Connell: WHEREVER could he get THAT from?

(Both boys turn and give her a playful little glare as she shakes her head and Jack nods that Pip is okay...he cuddles him to his chest and lays back against the couch with a pensive look on his face.)

Jack Russow: Well go ahead...take a look around. Take ONE good look around this room and tell me what you see…

(The camera pans around to see the entire villa completely trashed...shards of broken lamp and chairs and chaos lie all around.)

Jack Russow: See for MOST people...such a grievous, heinous attack on their lives like this would be a harrowing event! A home invasion, DAILY threats of disfiguring bodily harm, ones you love just straight being TAKEN from their domiciles. This entire scene...should be a nightmare...described to a therapist one day. But for me?

...it was tuesday.

(Jack lays Pip beside him as he leans forward clasping his hands together in front of him looking lost in thought for a moment before he starts to speak.)

Jack Russow: See now...an attack like this? For anyone else, THIS would be an excuse to call in sick to work. Look at how this year has gone so far! We almost had World War 3, the dude in charge just told us to inject disinfectant, they cancelled every other sport, Kobe Bryant died, and hippie bitches are feedin’ their husbands to tigers while a gay bleached blonde mulleted redneck with meth-addicted straight husbands tries to hire a cop to kill her and I KNOW...I KNOW that’s like the third promo in a row I’ve talked about that fucking show but I STILL...CANNOT...PROCESS. And I’ll ADMIT...I SHOULD...be in the next room, tucked into our usual blanket fort with my dogs...and the love of my life. But I’M taking this moment...to speak my mind.

(Jack scratches Pip behind the ears and whispers to him…)

Jack Russow: ...Daddy’s still gotta go to work doesn’t he!

(Jack moves the pillow on the couch to the left of him and we see the untarnished SCW Roulette Championship as he reaches for it and stares into it lovingly.)

Jack Russow: That’s why this is mine. THAT’S why...at the ripe old age of 19, I am FINALLY...your NEW...Roulette Champion. And after everything I’ve done...everything I’ve accomplished. I don’t feel like a single...FFFFUCKIN’ one o’ you...wanna give me my respect! What do you give me? You give me some other “trauma case” named Jack because, and I’m GUESSING, “Well they’re both fucked in the head and they’re both named Jack...makes enough sense for ME!” MEANWHILE...I coulda crippled your poster boy. I took...everyone’s favorite rockstar...and I did what no one else could for ALMOST...A YEAR. And what did I get?

...I got no-sold.

(Jack starts to snarl a bit as he clutches the title tighter.)

Jack Russow: And you’re starting to wonder...why I’m walking around here with a CHIP...on my SHOULDER. It’s because I’M the future of this company! I’M the hottest Rookie going right now! I KNOW you heard Tommy Knocks! And I KNOW you saw me prove him RIGHT. But all I’ve heard about is Griffin Hawkins not even having the BALLS...to ask for a REMATCH. Instead he thinks that, after being embarrassed by a rookie he should have dominated, that made him better enough to dream of being the World Champion! And hey man, I hope he gets there...I hope Griffin Hawkins becomes the FACE of SCW because each and every time...you see his face. You’re gonna look at him...and you’re gonna think of me. Because even if he goes undefeated the REST of his career...even if he’s the GREATEST World Champion of ALL TIME.

...he got taken out...by a ROOKIE.

Jack Russow: And see NORMALLY I wouldn’t be shooting off at the mouth like this! NORMALLY...I’d be nothing but respectful and gracious to Griffin Hawkins for giving me what was UNDOUBTEDLY...the HARDEST obstacle I’ve ever had to overcome and in a lot of ways, I still want him to know that! But’cha carried on...like I didn’t carve you up like Ebenezer Scrooge’s Christmas Goose. Like I didn’t turn you into the Grinch’s roast beast he served to that sociopath Cindy Lou Who. And THAT’S what bothers me man, you SAY you respect me but I...I don’t really feel it. I don’t really FEEL like I have the RESPECT...that I’ve EARNED around here yet. And so now I’m gonna take this kid Jack Washington...bright eyed and bushy tailed from Philadelphia...and I’m gonna show him some of MY “Brotherly Love”. Because aside from only hearing about you brushing me off? All I’ve heard is how impressive this kid was in that BULLSHIT Blast From The Past tournament that they CRAVED for me to enter...and I said no. Ya know WHY I said no? Look what happened to Bella Madison...look what happened to SO MANY PEOPLE in that bullshit lottery...she got stuck with a lame duck, an albatross around her neck, and I was smart enough to know that taking THAT chance...COULD have been the death of my career before it even started!

(Jack shakes his head at Pip who yawns in what we can only assume is complete agreement...don’t at me.)

Jack Russow: I didn’t watch the Blast From The Past tournament...there I said it. You want the truth? I’ll hand you the truth. It seemed like nothing more than a cheap marketing gimmick to me and I had...NO interest in it. But from what I UNDERSTAND...YOU, Jack Washington, hey man! You did it! I mean, you didn’t win but you did well enough to generate some buzz for yourself! Let’s see, what did they say? Everyone was CLAMORING to sign you and Mark Ward FINALLY threw out the right number? Hell yeah, bro! GET that coin! But uh...see what you didn’t factor in was NOW...you’re SCW’s property and NOW...they fed you to me. And I don’t give...THREE shakes of a fat baby’s dick what they saw in you. I don’t give a FUCK how “impressive” you were...when push came to shove...ya lost. And hey man, I get it! I just recently had to get over MY first loss as well! The only difference is I got over MY first loss by becoming a champion and you’re gonna have to get over YOUR loss by...well...processing another loss. Ain’t that about a bitch? I just want you to know that...it’s nothin’ personal. But I have the weight of two COMPLETELY different companies on my shoulders. I have MAYBE the biggest namesake in the world to live up to. And I cannot afford to fail now. So you and I are gonna do our little dance out there. “The Real Wild Child” JACK...FFFFUCKIN’...RUSSOW...versus Jack(-Off) Washington. And we’re gonna light up the Twitterverse and steal the fuckin’ show and then I’m gonna mosey on down the line to exorcise some half-cocked, fuck-wit demonic scrublord named fuckin’ “KEDRON” but until then? At the risk of getting ahead of myself? I’m going to take...every single frustration I have built up inside of me out on you and in the PROCESS...if you’re LUCKY…

...I’M gonna make you famous. Deuces.

(Jack scoops Pip up and slings the title over his shoulder as he winks to the camera before walking off to join Alanah in the blanket fort as we fade to black.)

 (We hear the roar of fans in the parking lot of the latest PWS: Apex Riot show as the interior camera of a limousine shows Alanah O’Connell step inside as a straining Jack Russow follows in behind her, they both give one more wave as the driver shuts the door.)

Jack Russow: This...is gonna suck.

Alanah O’Connell: Oh don’t be so sour...I’ll keep you company!

Jack Russow: It’s not that babe, I think I tweaked my back trying to keep up with that Cabrera kid...y’know I think he might be ready to graduate from developmental.

Alanah O’Connell: Oh please mo chroi...he couldn’t keep up with you for a SECOND. That was another great win.

Jack Russow: ...over a trainee...in the middle of the card...on a show headlined by our boss trying her Goddamn best to screw over my best friend.

Alanah O’Connell: Bella’s mom had everything well in hand...and I know my brother. He’s been chomping at the bit ever since Mack beat him in their first match.

Jack Russow: ...he seems to have a habit of that.

Alanah O’Connell: Don’t start.

(Jack lays his head back and closes his eyes as Alanah curls her head up on his shoulder.)

Jack Russow: I don’t wanna think about it...I don’t wanna HEAR about them...I just want a nice...relaxing flight to Scotland. Just me...and you.

(The camera fades to black and when it comes back in it is some time later as we see the limo pull up to the tarmac of a private hangar. The driver gets out and opens the door as Jack cranes himself painfully out of the seat stretching his back before turning and offering his hand to help Alanah out of the limo as they start walking towards the plane.)

Jack Russow: Y’know people might give me shit for it but...sometimes it DOES pay to be a kid of privilege.

(When they get to the plane they are greeted by Jack’s father, The Iceman Levi Russow stepping out of the plane and hopping down the ladder walking up and embracing his son.)

Levi Russow: Helluva win, HELLUVA show kid! I’m so proud o’ you!

Jack Russow: I didn’t know you’d be here! Are you going to Scotland with us!?

Levi Russow: Well seeing as how it’s MY jet and I don’t want anything broken on it? Yes we are.

Jack Russow: ...we?

(Almost on cue two behemoth sized bodyguards step off the plane...following Slappy McGoo.)

Slappy McGoo: Hullo!

Jack Russow: THE SLAPMASTER GENERAL IS COMING!? This is gonna be kick-ass!!!

(Jack bearhugs Slappy as Slappy lets go and turns to hug Alanah.)

Jack Russow: What’s with the security guards, dad?

(Levi turns and looks at Alanah with a look of utter dread on hsi face.)

Levi Russow: ...you didn’t tell him…

Alanah O’Connell: I was gonna! But it...it kinda never came up and we mighta fallen asleep on the way here…

(Jack suddenly gets a very concerned look on his face.)

Jack Russow: What are you talking about? Tell me on the plane, let’s go! The faster we’re wheels up the more rest I get when we get there!

Levi Russow: ...we ain’t leavin’ yet, kid.

Jack Russow: ...wwwwwwhy?

(Jack suddenly looks at the security and then at the looks on Alanah, Slappy, and Levi’s faces and reality hits him like a brick...and he instantly begins seething.)

Jack Russow: Fuck. That.

Levi Russow: My plane. My rules.

Jack Russow: Then fuck your plane, fuck your rules, and fuck YOU. I will SAIL to Scotland before I get in this tin can with THEM.

Levi Russow: Kid what’s gotten into you? Bella’s your best friend?

Jack Russow: I won the match. Okay? I won the fuckin’ match. End of story. So just because your boy toy took an L, if you’re supposed to be my best friend, doesn’t mean you get to go talking all that SHIT on Twitter like “oh he never pinned Mal and I KNOW that eats at him!” trying to undermine what I’ve done and if I see his bitch-ass little weasel face whining “yew didun’t beet mee!!!” I’ll kick open that door and push that motherfucker out at 35,000 feet!

Alanah O’Connell: JACK ALEXANDER!!!

Jack Russow: WHAT!? I know, I know...he’s your brother. And hey! I never held that against you babe! You can’t pick your family! But your brother is a downright egotistical PRICK who can’t stand the fact he had to watch me take the win he couldn’t outsmart the old man to muster himself! And y’know what? GOOD. That’s fuckin’ karma!

Alanah O’Connell: Jack Russow I am two seconds away from getting quite cross with you?

Jack Russow: Why? ‘Cause I’m right?

(Just then the car pulls up adjacent to the limo as Bella Madison and Malachi step out...Mal and Jack are instantly glaring at each other as Mal mouths something and Jack drops his bag and takes a leap barely being pulled back in time by the massive hand of Slappy McGoo. Bella and Malachi approach as Levi gives Bella a hug.)

Levi Russow: Look. This kid, whether you two are at each other’s throats or not, is family. And if it can help them get there comfortably and save a buck or two...they’re damn sure hitchin’ a ride. Now stop being a damn child and get on the plane.

(Jack pushes Slappy’s arm off of him as he glares at Alanah who looks a bit regretful she didn’t tell him as he takes one step forward and starts putting in his earbuds.)

Jack Russow: I got the room in the back of the plane so I can lay down. You can do whatever, just stay the fuck away from me.

Bella Madison: Okay SERIOUSLY? WHAT is your fucking problem!?

Jack Russow: My PROBLEM is that everyone keeps telling me you’re my “best friend” and you haven’t done a damn thing to act like it in months. I saved your ass time and time again, didn’t ask for a thank you. Just kinda expected you wouldn’t be talking shit everytime your bitch and I get into a spat.

Alanah O’Connell: JACK!

Jack Russow: No! I said it. I said it before they got here so I’ll damn sure say it now that they can hear. I see your little jabs on Twitter “he didn’t pin Mal and I KNOW that bothers him” no...no you fuckin’ don’t. Because it DOESN’T. His bruised ego doesn’t mean SHIT to me. I took the win, he took the loss, I’m the number one contender. Everyone got it? Good. Now let’s get this the fuck over with.

(Jack shoves his bag into one of the bodyguards arms as he rushes up the steps of the plane making his way to the very back in the tail that’d been converted into a small bedroom as he reaches into the little closet and pulls out his guitar as he turns around. He sees everyone else getting on board and Alanah giving him a stern, almost MEAN look as Jack looks back at her...deadpanned...and hits the button sliding the door closed. He throws himself on the bed with his headphones blaring as he closes his eyes.)

-Some Time Passes-

(Jack wakes up and slides up in the bed rubbing his face...his playlist had ended so he hits replay and picks up his guitar playing along. Suddenly the door slides open and Jack instantly glares towards the entrance after demanding he not be bothered but softens a bit when he sees Alanah step through and close the door behind her pressing her forehead against it before turning around and cupping her hands together behind her back looking at him. His eyes are closed as he plays along with the song blaring through the headphones until she calmly walks over and pulls his headphones out.)

Alanah O’Connell: Are you gonna avoid me the whole flight?

Jack Russow: That really depends on you, doesn’t it.

Alanah O’Connell: Look...I’m sorry I didn’t tell you they were coming, I didn’t think it’d be that big a deal or that you’d act this…

Jack Russow: Act this what? Go on. Finish your thought, babe. Act. This. What?

Alanah O’Connell: BLOODY CHILDISH!!!

(Jack grabs the hole in his guitar and pushes it off to the side pointing at her.)

Jack Russow: That. THAT right there.

Alanah O’Connell: What!?

Jack Russow: All of you. Every. Single. One of you. You not so much but THEM? My father...my “best friend”...your brother...EVERYONE talks down to me because of my age. You all call it “constructive criticism”, I call it “butting in where no one asked you”. And so when I lash out at everyone calling me “childish” because I have a LEGIT problem with them, it makes me feel like NONE of you take me seriously and NONE of you are in my corner!

Alanah O’Connell: I LOVE YOU, YA DAFT BASTARD!!! How much more “in your corner” can I be!?

Jack Russow: So your brother can act like a complete dickhead and pick all the fights with me he wants but when I retaliate I’M being childish and “attacking” your brother who’s coming after ME in the first place? MEANWHILE...my supposed “Best Friend”...y’know I get it, she loves him and they’re all gaga over each other but every win I’ve taken...not ONCE did I get a “congratulations” or a “good win” or anything and that’s FINE...I don’t need a response or validation at all. But she can’t help herself...she nitpicks at every little thing and when I get into with Mal I’M always the asshole. So fine! You all want an asshole? I’ll be your asshole.

(Alanah caresses Jack’s face with her hand as we see him seething with tears in his eyes.)

Alanah O’Connell: …*I* see you...and I’M proud of you...isn’t that enough?

Jack Russow: It’s more than enough...until you turn around and side against me.

Alanah O’Connell: I NEVER SIDE AGAINST YOU! But you’re bickering with my brother! How do you think that makes ME feel!? I can’t PICK a side, I have to sit on the sidelines and watch both of you tear each other apart while my heart breaks and you’re both too PIG-HEADED to notice!!!

(That hits Jack like a ton of bricks as Alanah starts crying...Jack reaches out and takes her hand as she looks at him and completely busts out bawling throwing her head against his chest as he pulls her up on the bed and cuddles her against his chest.)

Jack Russow: ...I’m sorry, babe. You’re totally right...I never thought of it that way. Hurting you and breaking your heart...is the absolute LAST thing I wanna do. But I HAVE tried. I’ve tried, and tried, and tried again to extend an olive branch and be nice to him. He and I will never be friends, I get that...but I don’t wanna break your heart anymore...so regardless of what those two say, I’m gonna let it die. It doesn’t matter who pinned who or who DIDN’T pin who...if I were a real professional I’d have already put it behind me and started preparing for the title shot itself.

(Jack lifts her chin up to look at him as he kisses her gently as she sniffles and he wiipes a tear away.)

Jack Russow: ...I will do...whatever you want me to do...because these past few hours have been a nightmare without you. I love you...more than you’ll ever know.

Alanah O’Connell: No more fight?

Jack Russow: No more fight.

(Alanah reaches over and grabs Jack’s guitar sliding up to sit beside him and putting it in his hands before taking one of his earbuds and putting it in her ear.)

Alanah O’Connell: Well, rockstar? As you were. Give me a song!

(Jack smiles and hits play and starts playing an acoustic version of “Figure Eight” by Trophy Eyes. Alanah listens very intently as she listens along...before she reaches over and double taps Jack’s throat indicating she wants him to sing for her…)

Jack Russow: *Singing*
Can you feel it inside?
Everything can change in the light.
They’re singin’ just for you tonight…
…’Cause baby you’re the star in my eyes!
Say it like you mean it…
Do you trust me now?
Call it like you see it…
Are we burning out?
...I wish you could FEEL it like I do!
Everything I’ve DONE, I do it all for YOU!
Say it like you mean it…
...do you trust me...now?

(Alanah grabs his face and kisses him passionately as they rest their foreheads against each other.)

Alanah O’Connell: ...with all my heart, mo chroi.

(They kiss again as Jack screams as loud as he can…)

Jack Russow: HEY NOBODY COME BACK HERE, I’M IMPREGNATING MAL’S SISTER!!!

(Alanah breaks out bright red and slaps his shoulder as hard as she can as they cuddle up together listening to the song and falling asleep in each others arms for the rest of the flight.)

-THE JOKER AND THE THIEF-

(The plane has landed, the body has been rested, and the camera opens with a familiar guitar riff as we see a montage of a crew scuttling around setting up the arena in Scotland before cutting back to the locker room where we see close ups of a man wrapping wrist tape, pulling on his kneepads, etc...as “Joker And The Thief” by Wolfmother drums and riffs on…)

“THEY SAY THE JOKER IS A WANTED MAN…
HE MAKES HIS WAY ALL ACROSS THE LAND…
SEE HIM SIFTING THROUGH THE SAND…
...SO I’LL TELL YA ALL THE STORY,
‘BOUT THE JOKER AND THE THIEF
IN THE NIGHT!!!”

(Suddenly the camera finds a young Jack Russow in full gear sitting on the production crates as seems to be a recurring theme with him except this time he’s already got Alanah O’Connell cuddled up next to him as he fixes his wrist tape. They hop off the crate and start walking hand in hand down the hallway until a door opens next to them and a billowing cloud of smoke comes pouring out as Alanah covers her mouth and Jack looks completely perplexed as a the notorious new backstage reporter “Stoner” Scott Oliver stumbles out looking around like the lights are destroying his eyes...he finally focuses and sees Jack and Alanah who has moved to Jack’s opposite side. Suddenly Scott gets very excited.)

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: OH! BRO! Whassup man!

Jack Russow: ...how fuckin’ high are you right now?

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: Iunno like 5’10”?

Jack Russow: ...I asked...I knew, and yet, I asked…

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: So like, DUDE! Hey man...I got a question for ya…

Jack Russow: ...are you even aware you’re wearing a kilt right now or was that COMPLETELY by accident?

(Scott sways a little looking confused at Jack...then looks down with the camera following his gaze...and sees he is, in fact, wearing a kilt.)

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: OH HOLY SHIT DUDE!!! Well hey! “When In Rome” right!?

Jack Russow: Weeeee’re in Scotland, but...yeah okay.

(Scott smacks his lips twice with a glazed look in his eyes and a weird smile just...staring at Jack and Alanah.)

Jack Russow: ...your question?

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: Huh?

Jack Russow: You said you had a questi-

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: OH DUDE! I got a question for ya…

Jack Russow: I’M AWARE!

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: Oh...fuck, I thought you were Jack Russow.

Jack Russow: I AM JU-

Alanah O’Connell: Scott, sweetie, what were you going to ask?

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: OH! RIGHT! So like...you have been tearin’ it UP since you got here man! Like 0 and 2 or somethin’ like that?

Jack Russow: Switch that?

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: Switchfoot?

Jack Russow: No it’s ju-...I’m undefeated. Let’s just call it undefeated.

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: Mmkay! Like...so at My Bloody Valentine 3 you kinda shocked the world comin’ outta nowhere to get that win and becoming number one contender to the Roulette championship so like...how’ve you been FEELING since that, man?

Jack Russow: It’s been pretty awful, if I’m being honest. I should be celebrating but instead I have people coming out of the woodwork since we landed...England, Ireland, Scotland...all of ‘em showing out to remind me that I won the match but I didn’t beat the “homegrown” boy or whatever. And that’s fine, I’ve come to grips with that. I didn’t pin Malachi. Didn’t really NEED to, now did I? So let him seethe away on that, I don’t care. Other than that...SCW has been an amazing experience.

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: That’s what’s up...so like, your family is like, famous and shit right?

Jack Russow: My dad had a 20 year long career with multiple, multiple, multiple accomplishments...I came here so I wouldn’t have to talk about that.

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: But I mean like, that’s a lot of PRESSURE isn’t it?

Jack Russow: It can be...but I think I’ve shown, judging from my professional wrestling track record across both companies I’m signed to, that I’m more than up for the challenge. No one’s beaten me yet...and no one WILL.

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: But dude, like...you gotta face CALEB FUCKIN’ STORMS this week bro! He’s the number one contender challenging Austin James Mercer for the Internet Championship! This dude’s like...NEXT LEVEL, bro! How you feelin’ comin’ into this match against that raw power metalhead!? SLAYERRRRRRR!!!

Jack Russow: Caleb Storms has been nothing but impressive. Trust me, even before I got here I was hearing about him. And I’m sure he and Mercer will have a match for the ages, it’s true! Just like I’ll have a match for the ages with the Roulette champion when the time comes at Blaze of Glory. Because as good as Caleb Storms is...I’m just that little inch better. For every achievement he’s clawing for, I’m draping my legacy in gold...they just don’t know it yet. And so I want Caleb to be very...VERY clear on something…

...if you overlook me? I WILL break a limb.

(Scott’s eyes bug outta his head and he looks instantly afraid for his life as he starts shifting uncontrollably.)

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: S’a little...little dark there, don’tcha think dude?

Jack Russow: No. I don’t think it’s dark enough. Because each and every one of those talking heads on the microphone, of those keyboard warriors on Twitter, of those basement dwelling marks who THINK they can but could never be able to bring a SMIDGE of the athleticism and aerial dynamics I bring to a match? My anger...my rage...my frustration builds and I’m not the kinda guy...to just go around swinging wildly, that’s not me. I’m not the guy that’s gonna bust you in the back of the head with a chair when you’re not READY...that’s not ME. I’M not the guy...to step into the RING with...I’M not the guy who’s just gonna “lay down” because you THINK you have some glorious claim to face some beast for a title...representing the INTERNET. No, no see...I LIKE the Roulette title. I LIKE the uncertainty, the Wildcard...I LIKE not knowing what I’m walking into or even knowing if I’ll be walking OUT the same. And so I’m gonna practice...because practice makes perfect. And my sparring dummy...will be the corpse of Caleb Storms.

(Scott exaggeratingly blinks his eyes and says “woahhhh” as he looks around hoping someone safe is nearby.)

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: So like...speaking of the Roulette Championship...is there anybody in particular you’re hoping holds it when you get to them?

Jack Russow: Griffin. FUCKING. Hawkins.

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: HELLS yeah, that’s my BOY! Wait, what’chu got against Griff!?

Jack Russow: I have nothing against Griff. I have nothing but RESPECT for Griff. And that’s why, for me to make my own legacy...for this whole experiment to pan out...it has to be HIM. I *HAVE* to face Griffin Hawkins because he said it best...I see a lot of my dad and my uncles in him and he sees a lot of his younger self in me. And I wanna know...I wanna know if I can hang with a man who is, aside from a dude named Manny and another dude named Redd Thunder, THE most popular professional wrestler in the world. And it markets ITSELF! It’ll be the Battle of the Bands! I was a HUGE Devilition fan growing up...Hell they inspired me to start my OWN touring band, The Fall Back Plan. I owe EVERYTHING to guys like Griffin Hawkins! And THAT’S why...I need THAT stamp of approval!

“Stoner” Scott Oliver: But like... you just warned Caleb Storms about overlooking YOU...d’you think you might be overlooking HIM?

Jack Russow: Bro, I’m 6’2” I can’t look over MOST of this roster.

“Stoner'' Scott Oliver: EYYYYY I see what’cha did there!

Jack Russow: I can’t overlook what I can’t expect. I came into this company with knowledge of like, five people at BEST. So more than likely, and with Caleb Storms especially...each and every time I walk out to that ring, I have no IDEA what I’m getting myself into. And that’s the way I like it. I like that feeling of uncertainty, I LIKE that slight feeling of panic, I LIKE that overwhelming rush of confidence when I’ve taken their body in my hands and I can FEEL I’m the one more physically suited to BREAK them if i wanted. That’s why they want me for the Roulette title...because fuck Simon Cowell, I’M the X Factor! I’M the Wild Card! I’M the Black Sheep! I’m a hobo with a jug o’ wine! I will pray for your soul while I twist the knife in your back. I will quote Manson and Dahmer as I cradle your head in my hands. Because I am...and it’s very, VERY important you hear me on this Caleb...I am a very, VERY dangerous man that is capable of doing terrible...TERRIBLE things. I am the agent that decides your fate. They used to call my dad “The Oncoming Storm”...and he’s put me in the hospital three times. So what...do you think a pissant “metalhead” like YOU...could possibly do to ME?

I AM THE GOD-FORSAKEN BLACK SHEEP!!!

I AM THE PUNK THAT WAS PROMISED!!!

I AM JACK RUSSOW...AND I AM...A

REAL.

WILD.

CHILD!!!!

(Jack clicks his teeth and winks at Scott who didn’t catch a word of that because a bug has flown by as Jack and Alanah walk off hand in hand.)