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141
Climax Control Archives / I AM DESTINED TO BE ROULETTE CHAMPION AGAIN
« on: October 07, 2022, 08:52:49 AM »
I AM DESTINED TO BE ROULETTE CHAMPION AGAIN

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart has been placed in a four way match at Climax Control 344 against Agostino Romano, The Troll, and Alex Rush with the winner getting a shot at the Roulette Championship. Agostino Romano? Alex Rush? The Troll? Seriously? Oh, man, this is going to be an easy win for Bill Barnhart.

The scene changes and we are taken to the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Bea has returned from her wrestling trip in Henderson, Nevada, and now it is Bill’s time to take off to Sparks, Nevada, for his match and Bea will remain in Lawrenceville, Georgia, to keep care of Iris. They are in their living room sitting on the couch and Iris is sniffing around the room but we’re not sure what she would be trying to sniff out. When Iris sees the camera person she flops on the floor and gives a funny look into the camera.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bill:  Iris you’re silly! I may have to have Bea take you out for a walk if you’re going to keep getting in front of the camera and distracting them.

Iris takes the hint and she walks out of camera range.

FACING THREE LOSERS

Bill:  Thanks for joining me today. As you know I remained home while Bea wrestled in Henderson, Nevada for Climax Control 343. Although she didn’t win her match against Jessie Salco and Mercedes Vargas she performed very well. I get to go to Sparks, Nevada, for Climax Control 344, where I  get face off against Agostino Romano, Alex Rush, and The Troll, with the winner of our match getting a shot at the Roulette Championship. Talk about an easy assignment! I get to face three opponents but even with their wrestling abilities are combined their total amount of wrestling abilities only equals one-half of me. I guess I could feel sorry for them but I have no compassion for losers, fools, and jerks.

Bea:  Don’t you think you’re being too hard on your opponents?

Bill:  Hell no! I’ve defeated Agostino Romano three times in three matches and he hasn’t defeated me yet. I’ve never had the displeasure of facing off against Alex Rush. As for The Troll I had one match with him and I defeated him by submission using my  Barnhart Shoulder Breaker Flying Hammerlock. No way I can be classified as being too hard on my opponents when the three of them are losers.

Bea:  Okay. Are you going to tell the viewers your Three Stooges comparison?

IT IS LIKE BEING IN A THREE STOOGES MOVIE

Bill:  Yes I will. I feel I’m like Moe who was the leader of The Three Stooges. I see Alex Rush sort of like Larry. I see Agostino Romano sort of like Shemp. And I see the overweight mommy’s boy, The Troll, like Curly.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bill:  Yes my upcoming match against Agostino Romano, Alex Rush, and The Troll, reminds me of all the Three Stooges movies I’ve watched. I’m like Moe in that he’s the leader of the pack, he doesn’t take crap from Larry, Curly, and Shemp, and he slaps and kicks them around to bring them to their senses. Then again it’s difficult beat some sense into idiots. My opponents are like Larry, Curly, and Shemp. They’re like Larry in that he is not of the Howard family name as Moe, Curly, and Shemp are Howard family members. Even though Larry is an outsider to the Howard clan his presence in Three Stooges movies worked well for the storyline. They’re like Curly in that they are big mouthed but they can rarely accomplish things correctly. They’re like Shemp in that Shemp only got into the Three Stooges movies because his last name was Howard and he’s related to Moe and Curly. On his own Shemp sucked. There you go. In just a short time I explained why my three opponents suck and they’ll be destroyed by me.

WHAT CAN WE EXPECT IN OUR MATCH?

Bill:  So Agostino, Alex, and Troll, what can you expect in our match? To start with you can’t expect to see Bea at ringside as my Manager as Bea is remaining in Lawrenceville, Georgia, to take care of Iris during my trip to Sparks, Nevada, for Climax Control 344. So what can you expect? You can expect me to destroy you again Agostino. You can expect me to humiliate you again Troll. And since this is your first match against me Alex you can expect me to whup you so hard that you won’t be able to remember your name Gee, Agostino, how does that make you feel? Like crap? Good! Gee, Troll, how does that make you feel? Like the loser you are? Good! And what about you Alex? Did you get a “rush” from my explaining to you that I’m going to beat you senseless in our match? Good! Your “rush” is going to be short-lived once you realize what you got yourself into when you signed your name to join this match.

Bill flashes a huge grin into the camera.

Bill:  Now boys. . .yes I called you three “boys” because you don’t deserve the honor of being called men. . .we don’t know yet, but we can assume, that our match at Climax Control 344 is going to be under Roulette Rules based on a spin of the Roulette Wheel. After all the winner earns a shot at the Roulette Championship so that’s how we should expect it to work. Regardless of whether the Roulette Wheel lands on a match with violent stipulations, or a match that is mild and regular stipulations, or no rules at all, I have the advantage. I live and breathe and dream about the more violent Roulette Rules matches. It gets my blood pumping. It gets my breathing fast and excited. It makes me want to climb to the top of the tallest building in the area and scream out to the world that I’m a great Roulette Champion. Do you understand things now guys? Why am I wasting my time asking if you three understand what I’m saying when you three are morons? Sheesh!

Bill laughs loudly.

Bill:  Remember, boys, that I was Roulette Champion for six months. If you look at the listing of Roulette Champions you’ll notice that not many Roulette Champions were able to retain the Championship for six months or longer. When the time came where I lost the Roulette Championship it was Finn Whelan who earned the Championship away from me. I hold no grudge on him for his accomplishment. He was the better wrestler that day. At Climax Control 343 Finn Whelan again proved himself in a Four Way match against Austin James Mercer, Goth, and Chris Page. With that win Finn earned a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship at High Stakes XII. If any of the wrestlers have a problem with accomplishments like that then screw you! My goal for Climax Control 344 is to put you three chumps into the dumpster while I move on for a match where I’m planning on regaining the Roulette Championship.

Bill laughs really loud this time.

Bill:  You three may or may not know where I got my Barnhart Shoulder Breaker Flying Hammerlock submission finisher move. I got the idea from watching George “The Animal” Steele using his Flying Hammerlock finisher to destroy many opponents. Let me share with you a short video clip showing how devastating Steele was with his finisher and then you need to know I’m more devastating with my version of the finisher.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE VIDEO

Bill:  When you three fools step into the ring with me at Climax Control 344 you’re in trouble. You’re facing the man who defeated Satan. You’re facing the man who won’t back down from anything or anyone. You’re facing the man who can take what you give and give it back to you ten times over. I want you three to give all you’ve got but even with that the combined total of what you three can give to me is not even half of what I’ll give to you three. Only one of us gets our hand raised in victory. Only one of us earns a shot at the Roulette Championship. That only one of us who accomplishes those things is me. Thanks for trying but you three fail. I plan on using my Barnhart Shoulder Breaker Flying Hammer Lock to win the match. There you have it guys. Deal with it.

Bill bursts out in loud laughter to the point where he cannot immediately stop laughing. The camera person figures the segment is over at this point so they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


142
Climax Control Archives / THREE IN A MATCH
« on: September 30, 2022, 05:25:02 PM »
THREE IN A MATCH FOR A SHOT AT THE ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP

Narrator:  Bea has been recognized by Management by her recent performance and now they have placed her into a Triple Threat Roulette Rules match against Jessie Salco and Mercedes Vargas. The winner of this match moves on to High Stakes XII to face the Roulette Champion for their Championship.

DOUBLE THE FUN

The scene opens and we see Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, at their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. They’re relaxing in their backyard before taking off to Henderson, Nevada, where Bea has a Triple Threat match with the winner to challenge the Roulette Champion at High Stakes XII. Bea is standing at the barbecue cooking food while Bill is sitting in a chair under a patio umbrella and Iris is walking around their backyard looking for an intruder to chase off. The camera person assigned to them indicates they are now live broadcasting. Bea looks up from the barbeque into the camera.

Bea:  Thanks for taking time to join us at our home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Although it is always nice to be on tour with Sin City Wrestling when we are back in the United States we like to fly back home and keep up with things here at home. I have a match coming up at Climax Control 343 which is on Sunday, October 2, 2022, at the Dollar Loan Center in Henderson, Nevada. This match is a Triple Threat Roulette Rules match with the winner of this match, me of course, moves on to High Stakes XII to challenge the Roulette Champion for their Championship.

Bill:  You’re on your for this event Bea. I’ll stay stay at home with Iris for this event. I feel bad for Iris that we left her for a long time during our tour in India. It will be fun for me and Iris to have bonding time, and of course we can do lots of eating challenges, until the next event I’m scheduled for and then I’ll travel again.

Bea:  Not a problem Bill. I’m ready to win this match and challenge for the Roulette Championship. Triple Threat matches are double the fun of regular matches as I get to destroy two opponents instead of one.

BEA’S HISTORY AGAINST JESSIE SALCO AND MERCEDES VARGAS

Bea does some things with the food on the barbeque grill then she returns her focus to the camera.

Bea:  I have no experience facing off against Jessie Salco as this is our first match against each other. I’m aware that although Jessie was successful in the past she has become a non-issue in the Federation since those successes. If anything she is the annoying fly that buzzes around your head when you’re trying to do something whether cooking on the barbeque or having a swim at the pool.

Bea swats a fly with a flyswatter and it drops dead hard to the concrete patio deck.

Bea:  Yep! I’ll swat Jesse Salco down like I just did to that fly. Mercedes Vargas, on the other hand has been one of those wrestlers I haven’t been able to defeat yet. We faced off against each other at Climax Control 277, Climax Control 287, and Climax Control 324. Although I could stand in front of the camera and lie my ass off, as the majority of wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling do, and claim that I defeated Mercedes Vargas I can’t do that. I’m an honest person and I admit that I have three losses and no wins against Mercedes. That doesn’t mean I’m going to lose this Sunday. Triple Threat matches can work several ways. You can have your two opponents gang up on you and take you out and you lose the match. Sometimes one of your opponents takes out one of the wrestlers so that the match comes down to you and them. I have no idea how this match is going to go, or how it will end, but I’m planning on walking away the winner and moving on to challenge for the Roulette Championship.

Bea stops talking when Iris spots a cat that jumped over the fence and  is running around in their backyard. Iris tries hard to catch the cat but her chubby self is no match for a sleek cat and the cat easily runs toward the fence, leaps up, and drops into the neighbor’s backyard.

Bill:  Har har har!!! Iris you need to work out and get into shape so you can chase, and actually catch, a cat that is intruding in your backyard.

TRIPLE THREAT MATCHES ARE DOUBLE THE FUN

Bea is done cooking the food on the barbecue and she places the items on a large plate then places the plate on the patio table. Iris waddles over to get some of the food and the three eat for a time before Bea continues with her comments.

Bea:  I want everyone to know that I feel Triple Threat matches are double the fun. Why? Because I get to beat down two opponents instead of the normal one opponent. I get to defeat two opponents in a match instead of the normal one opponent. And when you add into the equation that when I win I get to face the Roulette Champion at High Stakes XII you see why I’m excited to be in this match.

Bill:  The way you took care of Candy in your last match shows you have what it takes to become Roulette Champion. Although I’m staying here in Lawrenceville, Georgia, while you travel to Henderson, Nevada for Climax Control 343, you’ll do great. You won’t be able to hear me cheering you on but you know I’m cheering for you to win.

Bea:  I wish to bring up a prior contest that you and Iris participated in as it gives a great example of how I’ll fight my opponents and come out the winner. It was two years ago when you, me, and Iris, attended the Gwinnett County Fair here in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We were walking around taking in the exhibits, games, and rides, when we came across a sign stating they are having a pizza eating contest. Remember I told you that the way you and Iris devour pizza, and even more so when you two have a competition between you two, that neither of you give up and it always comes down to a panel of judges deciding the winner and often the win came by a close margin.

Bill:  Those viewers who saw that pizza eating contest will love reliving the contest. For those viewers who were not able to see the pizza eating contest they will get informed at this time.

Bea:  We were not aware that Dalphne, Fred, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby Doo were also attending the Gwinnett County Fair that day. I remember when we turned the corner and came face-to-face with Daphne, Fred, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby Doo. It turned out that I admired Daphne and she admired me. Fred and Velma were less interested in others. And, of course, Scooby Doo admired Iris and Iris admired him. As for  you and Shaggy you each admired the other. One of the things that you two had in common was that you two loved entering food eating contests and the same went for Scooby Doo and Iris.

Bill:  Fill in the viewers on how the contest went.

Bea:  The participants were in teams of two members. You were teamed with Iris and Shaggy was teamed with Scooby Doo. There were, if I remember correctly, five or six other couples in the pizza eating contest. The contest rules were simple. The timer would start and all the teams had 15 minutes to eat as much pizza as they could. The team that ate the most pizza without puking would be declared the winner. The Serving Staff came out and laid a large pepperoni pizza on each table. If any of the contestants finished that large pepperoni pizza and Serving Staff would quickly drop another one on the table for the contestants to eat. You and Iris took a huge lead over the other contestants except for Shaggy and Scooby as your two teams were basically tied. In five minutes the  other teams quit because of how well your team and Shaggy’s team was doing and they knew they couldn’t compete and win. So the last ten minutes it was a competition between your two teams. When the buzzer sounded you, Iris, Shaggy, and Scooby Doo, stopped eating and it was obvious all of you were bloated with your stomachs bulging out and you four burping and farting loudly. The contest was so close they had to weigh the remaining amount of pizza and it turned out that you and Iris won by a few ounces of pizza.

Bill:  Shaggy and Scooby Doo, being great friends and competitors, accepted that we won and we congratulated each other.

Bea:  Here’s the part of the story concerning the pizza eating contest at Gwinnett County Fairgrounds that relates to me going up against Jessie Salco and Mercedes Vargas. Not more than five minutes after you four completed the pizza eating contest Shaggy exclaimed that he remembers seeing a booth on the other side of the fairgrounds that was selling Banana Splits and funnel cake. I remember him looking at you, Iris, and Scooby Doo, then he exclaimed: LET’S GET OVER THERE BILL! I’M HUNGRY! and I remember you responding YEAH ME TOO! so you, Shaggy, Scooby Doo, and Iris, took off. I looked at Daphne and she looked at me and we starting shaking our heads as we couldn’t believe the impossible eating abilities of you, Shaggy, Iris, and Scooby Doo.

Bill:  And that relates to Jessie and Mercedes how?

Bea:  Because I’m like you, Shaggy, Scooby Doo, and Iris, in that they can take a lot and still keep going. In wrestling matches I’ve proved, over and over again, that if an opponent can get hits on me I keep getting up and going after them. I don’t give up when I’m full just like the four of you didn’t give up after you were full from participating in the pizza eating contest. No matter what Jessie and Mercedes bring to our match I’ll bring more. No matter what Mercedes and Jessie do to me in the match I’ll do more. I’ll refuse to stop fighting until the Timekeeper’s bell rings, Justin announces my win, and the Referee raises my hand in victory!

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea gives a stern look into the camera.

Bea:  For my closing comments I want to send a message to my fans who will be in Henderson, Nevada, for Climax Control 343. I’m having a meet-and-greet session backstage and I want you to join me for conversation and I’ll have a small gift for you. As for my closing comments on my opponents I’ll start with you Jessie. My research shows that you held Championships four or five times during your time in Sin City Wrestling. However the total combined time for you being a Champion is well less than one year. That’s not very impressive when you have that many Championships but the total combined amount of time you held possession of the Championship was short. Now before you spout off on me due to my comments about you I’ll admit that my only Championship to date was the Mixed Tag Team and it wasn’t as long a reign as I expected. At least I’m honest unlike someone I know.

Bea waves her hand in a motion that she is dismissing Jessie Salco like she is last week’s trash.

Bea:  Mercedes I have a lot of respect for you. You’ve accomplished a hell of a lot in the sport of wrestling. You’ve defeated me three times in three matches. I can’t deny that. I can’t even try to talk my way out of those losses. But there is something that comes into play. In recent history you have been winning matches here and there occasionally but not much in the way of Championships. I can’t do much in the way of trash talking about that because I only have the one Championship to my name so far. However come Climax Control 343 I’ll defeat you and Jessie and get my shot at the Roulette Championship at High Stakes XII. Mercedes to bring up a comparison I would put you in the same category as one of the most amazing and successful women wrestlers in the history of the sport of wrestling and that is The Fabulous Moolah. She was involved in the sport of wrestling for close to 50 years and was a top name wrestler for over 30 years. But, Mercedes, one thing Moolah had that you’re having now is that her age caught up with her and she wasn’t able to be at the top of her game due to her advancing age. That’s what I see with you, Mercedes, and it saddens me that you’re too proud to realize your decline in the sport of wrestling andthat you should go into retirement. The more you age and continue to step into the ring as an active wrestler the worse you’re looking. When I defeat you and Jessie at Climax Control 343 your career is over unless you want to continue to try to be what you no longer are. I’m planning on sending the two of you into retirement. You have to remember how it used to feel for you two to be loved, respected, admired, and adored, by the fans. But you two lost that from the fans. Too bad for you two eh? Jessie you’ve seen better days and Mercedes you’re one step from walking into a retirement home. Kinda like watching a SpongeBob Squarepants episode where the over-the-hill Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, who retired from crime fighting, hang out all day in the retirement home drooling slobber down their chins. Har har har!!! But me? I’m what Sin City Wrestling is about these days. You’re ancient history. I’m current history!

Bea points to herself.

Bea:  Jessie. . .Mercedes. . .I’m the future of wrestling and the future of Sin City Wrestling. You two are the past. I’m fresh, clean, and exciting, and you are last week’s trash. See you two at Climax Control 343 to accept an ass kicking at my hands. I’ll be leaving Lawrenceville, Georgia, to fly out to Henderson, Nevada, shortly. Bye!

Bea gives the CUT sign to the camera person and they turn off the camera feed and our screen goes dark.


143
Climax Control Archives / A CANDY WHAT???
« on: September 23, 2022, 07:43:43 PM »
CANDY? MORE LIKE A CANDY ASS BARBIE GIRL WANNABE!

The official definition of the term “CANDY ASS” includes the following:  A TIMID, COWARDLY, OR DESPICABLE PERSON. SOMEONE WHO IS SCARED OF TAKING CHANCES OF DOING THINGS THAT LOOK, OR ARE, DANGEROUS. There you have it. . .plain. . .simple. . .direct. . .to the point. . .and it fits the wrestler named Candy perfectly.

Narrator:  The last time Bea and Candy met in the wrestling ring was at Blaze of Glory VIII on April 12, 2020. A hell of a lot has changed since that match. I turn you over to Bea Barnhart to allow her to explain to you what to expect in her match against Candy.
   
BACKGROUND WITH CANDY

When the scene shifts we see Bea Barnhart standing in front of the Reno Events Center in Reno, Nevada. It is approaching Noon time and the people walking the streets recognize Bea and shout greetings and wave to her and Bea responds with a smile and waves to her fans. Bea is in casual attire consisting of blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black athletic shoes. The camera person assigned to her keeps focused on Bea so we don’t miss anything she says or does and they ensure they’re not in a position where the hundreds of visitors will pass between their camera and Bea.

Bea:  Thanks for tagging along with me while I present comments for my upcoming match against Candy on September 25, 2022. Well, Candy, I already know what you’re going to say. You’ll state. . .I mean you’ll try to brag and act tuff. . .by stating you defeated me in the one and only match we’ve had against each other. AHEM! Let me tell the viewers the truth so they won’t have to use bleach to sanitize their brains after listening to your lying bullshit! Our one and only match was on April 12, 2020, at Blaze of Glory VIII. It was a Ladder Match and you won the match to challenge for the Roulette Championship. But before you brag to the world let me inform the viewers that I started my wrestling career on January 5, 2020. I was new to the sport of wrestling and our match was my seventh match in the sport of wrestling. So, Candy, if I were in your shoes I damn sure wouldn’t brag about the one and only match we’ve had against each other since that match took place two years and five months ago. Everyone knows that I’ve improved immensely since our first match while you’ve been declining.

WHAT’S REALLY UP WITH CANDY IN RELATION TO ME?

Bea starts to walk down the sidewalk and the assigned camera person stays focused on her. After a walk down the street Bea stops at the corner to deliver more comments on her upcoming match.

Bea:  Well, Candy, while you attempt to brag about a win in our one and only match against each other, which took place two years and five months ago, let me give a graphic description of your failed Bullwinkle Moose side-show act of HEY, ROCKY, WATCH ME PULL A RABBIT OUT OF MY HAT! to which me, serving in the capacity of Rocky The Flying Squirrel to your Bullwinkle Moose, state BUT THAT TRICK NEVER WORKS!  Awwwww!!! I’m sorry Candy! Sorry that I’m feeding you too much information too quickly and  your pour little pathetic Valley Girl brain is unable to comprehend the information. Listen up, Barbie. . .I mean Candy. . .I’ll give you credit that you were able to hold the Bombshell Roulette Championship. I’ll even give you credit that you managed to hold the Bombshell Roulette Championship from January 5, 2020, to June 7, 2020, which is, for you anyway, a five month accomplishment. But. . .But. . .BUT!!! But what you ask Candy? You lost the friggin' Bombshell Roulette Championship to Violet Amelia Holt? Seriously? You lost the Bombshell Roulette Championship to Violent Amelia Holt? What the *BLEEP* girl?

CHAMPIONSHIPS HELD BY CANDY

Bea:  Candy you held the Bombshell Roulette Championship from January 5, 2020 to June 7, 2020. But, DAMN, you got defeated by Violet Amelia Holt who I defeated FOUR times in FOUR matches! Want to know another fact that will make your remaining working brain cells fry? ALL FOUR OF MY WINS OVER VIOLET AMELIA HOLT WERE BY SUBMISSION!!!  Oh damn! I just heard snapping and popping noises like something breaking or like the sound of popcorn popping. Ahhhhh. . .Candy. . .that must have been the sound of your last remaining functioning brain cells dying from the truth I’m telling you! Oh well it’s never been said that Valley Girls need more than one or two working brain cells to be able to bat their eyes, make suggestive poses for the attention of men, and eat chocolate.

HOW HIGH CAN YOU FLY?

As Bea crosses the street and starts to walk along the rows of hotels and businesses she hears a helicopter overhead as they have a distinct sound. After the Helo passes along Bea stops and takes a seat on a bench that lines the streets. The camera person remains focused on Bea as she makes additional comments.

Bea:  That helicopter that flew by reminded me of Bill’s father and something he told me about helicopters. For those who don’t know, or you forgot, Bill’s father, William Barnhart, served in the United States Navy and retired from Active Duty as a Master Chief Petty Officer. He told me that although he was a Yeoman, which is the Navy term for Administrative Assistant, he had several assignments during his career in the Navy’s Aviation community. Master Chief Barnhart told me he worked with an Officer who was a Helo Pilot in the Navy. He said this Officer told him that the first thing the Instructors in Helo Pilot School taught them was that HELICOPTERS DON’T WANT TO FLY. . .YOU HAVE TO FORCE THEM TO FLY. . . and the instructor explained that while with regular aircraft, like airplanes, you can trim them and take your hands off the yoke and they will fly nicely on their own. The instructor went on to explain that helicopters, if you take your hands off the controls, will go out of control and crash.

Bea makes helicopter noises then she stands up and makes motions like a Helo crashing into the street and exploding. Bea then returns to sitting on the bench.

Bea:  HAR HAR HAR!!! Oh, Candy, I’ve got a mental image of you passing out from my comments on helicopters and while you’re passed out and slumped over in your chair you are drooling from hour mouth and brain fluid is draining out of your ears. I’m. . .so. . .sorry. . .NO I’M NOT!!! My gawd! Valley Girls are so stupid that if you put ten of them together and combined their brain processing powers it might equate to the brain processing power of a pile of dog shit!

Bea busts out laughing and it takes her a bit of time to recover and continue with her comments.

Bea:  Bill’s father, Master Chief Barnhart, said he once asked a United States Navy Helo pilot how high can a helicopter fly before it loses lift and crashes? He was told that a regular helicopter, not a Military helicopter, can manage to successfully fly to around 10,000 feet before losing lift and crashing. Usually if a plane loses lift you simply place the plane into a nose dive and the majority of the time the engine will re-start you can recover lift and continue to fly, then successfully land, the airplane. But with a Helicopter once you lose lift you are doomed to crash as they are nearly impossible to recover when they have lost lift.

Bea against busts out laughing but this time she manages to recover from her laughing quickly.

Bea:  Okay, Candy, I know all this information is total overload for your pathetic little Valley Girl brain. I can honestly state that fact because it is known that when a Valley Girl is handed a cup of coffee and the person serving it to them asks the Valley Girl if they would like sugar and cream in their coffee, that it can take the Valley Girl several minutes to comprehend what she was asked and then hopefully respond properly to the question. So with that mental image out there for all the consider I’m here to tell you, Candy, that you’re exactly like a Helicopter that has lost lift and will crash. I’ll use the example that when you climb the ropes and get to the top ropes in the corner, to possibly attempt some high-flying maneuver, that position places your feet about five feet above the mat. Add into the mix that your head, while you’re standing on the top ropes in the corner, is around ten feet above the mat. That’s already far above where your Valley Girl brain should be due to that height causing your brain to be oxygen deprived! Then you’ll fall off the ropes and face-plant into the mat and I will either pin you, or make you submit, for the win. I’ll pause my comments for now and will resume broadcasting comments once I return to my hotel room.

Bea tells the camera person she’s pausing her comments and she’ll return to her hotel room where the camera person can continue broadcasting from there. The camera person turns off their camera feed and our screen goes dark.

A SHORT TIME LATER IN THE HOTEL ROOM OF BEA BARNHART

The camera person resumes broadcasting and we see Bea sitting on the couch. We don’t see Bill Barnhart around so we assume he is either in the other room our out and about in Reno. We notice that Bea has the television turned on and she is watching the Nickelodeon channel.

CANDY AND HER WRESTLING SHOULD BE PART OF A SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS EPISODE

Bea:  Please allow me to show you the opening of a typical SpongeBob Squarepants adventure here on my television. There’s no need for me to show you all the things that take place in Bikini Bottom as I’m sure everyone watching is familiar with the odd things that take place in Bikini Bottom.

SpongeBob Squarepants opening. . .

Are you ready, kids?
Aye, aye, captain!
I can't hear you!
Aye, aye, captain!

Oooooooooohhhh...
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBob SquarePants!

Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.
SpongeBob SquarePants!

If nautical nonsense, be something you wish.
SpongeBob SquarePants!

Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
SpongeBob SquarePants!

Ready?
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePaaaaaaants!
Ah, ha ha, hahahahahahahahaha!

The opening of the SpongeBob Squarepants cartoon is over and we return to Bea.

Bea:  I’m sure some of you are asking why I’m making a comparison between Candy and the SpongeBob Squarepants cartoon. Just sit back and relax. And let me give you a list of the stupid or impossible shit that happens at Bikini Bottom. The residents of Bikini Bottom live under the water in the ocean yet they go to the beach in Bikini Bottom and we watch as waves of water crash against the beach. How can waves of water crash on the beach if they’re underwater? Hmmm. Then they go camping and build a campfire. Uh, okay, how do they have a campfire burning when they’re under water? Hmmm. Mister Krabs is a Crab but his daughter is a Whale? Not sure what perverted sexual adventures went on to get that daughter who is a Whale who belongs to a Crab as her father. One more I wish to mention concerns SpongeBob’s friend Patrick Star. Patrick is a Starfish. His Mother and Father and Grandfather are also Starfish. But then the twist comes into play. Patrick’s sister is a Squid. How in the hell is Patrick’s sister a Squid when everyone else in his family are Starfish? There are dozens more examples I could list but the ones I listed serve my purpose in my discussion about Candy.

Bea turns the television off and returns to focus into the camera.

Bea:  Candy I again apologize for presenting items that make your brain want to leap out of your skull and run away and hide but I have to keep you posted on how pathetic you are. It also shows everyone that all the crap you brag about are things that are impossible to happen just like those items I told you about that happen in Bikini Bottom in SpongeBob Squarepants cartoons. Just as Mister Krabs wouldn’t have a Whale for a daughter. . .and people wouldn’t be at Bikini Bottom beach and have waves of waver crash onto the beach since they are already under water. . .and they wouldn’t be able to build a campfire when they go camping as they are underwater. . .and Patrick and his family who are all Starfish wouldn’t have a sister who is a Squid.. . .so you’re not going to execute moves and holds on me to wear me and down and get the win over me because you’re beneath me in every area, especially in the area of wrestling abilities.

Bea flashes a huge grin into the camera.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  Candy? Hmmm. When I heard I was facing you, Candy, a thought came to my mind. Since you’re so pathetic in that you lost to Violent Amelia Holt who I’ve defeated FOUR times in FOUR matches, all by submission, and she’s never defeated me, I figured I would use the play on your name by calling you a Candy Ass. Let me run down the definitions I have for the term Candy Ass as they fit you perfectly. They include. . .A TIMID, COWARDLY, OR DESPICABLE PERSON. SOMEONE WHO IS SCARED OF TAKING CHANCES OF DOING THINGS THAT LOOK, OR ARE, DANGEROUS. Yep! Fits you perfectly Candy!

Bea laughs into the camera.

Bea:  Candy I wish to thank you. Thank you for what you’re asking? I’m thanking you for being my next victim. I thank you for proving what I’ve been saying all my life about air-headed Valley Girls. I’m sorry if anything I said or implied has caused you mental stress. Then again we all know Valley Girls can suffer extreme mental stress by just waking up and trying to figure out how to turn their alarm clock off. Let it be known that this match, and my destroying you and me moving up in the rankings, will be an extreme pleasure for me. See you on Sunday, September 25, 2022, at the Reno Events Center. And, Candy, if you make the slightest attempt to blow glitter into my face, which is in violation of the rules, that not only will you lose by Disqualification, but I’ll grab your glitter and shove it down your throat so that you’ll be shitting glitter for a week every time you take a dump! Have a nice day! Har har har!!!

Bea informs the camera person she’s done with her comments. The camera person calls into the Network and they tell them to cut their camera feed and the Network will return to regularly-scheduled programming for this time frame.


144
Climax Control Archives / HEY. . .MAC. . .IT'S ASS KICKING TIME!!!
« on: September 16, 2022, 12:12:10 PM »
IT'S ASS KICKING TIME!!!

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is looking forward to his match against Mac Bane at Climax Control 341. I will turn you over to Bill to allow him to tell you what he thinks and how he feels about this match against Mac Bane.

The scene switches to the hotel room of Bill and Bea Barnhart at a hotel near the Gold Coast Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. It is a very nice room with a kitchen and living room area and a bedroom area separate from the rest of the room. Bill walks into the living room area and sits on the couch and then Bea walks over and sits next to him. They wait until the camera person gives them the notification they are live broadcasting. When they get that signal we are underway.

A CHALLENGE BILL DID NOT ACCEPT

Bill:  Recently Fenris went public and issued a challenge to anyone who wanted to take him on since he is back from his recovery period. The incident that affected his vision was during his match against Senor Vinnie with Bea in his corner as his Manager. Before I make further comments, Bea, would you please fill the viewers in on what really happened during that match?

Bea:  Everyone should know that up until the Fenris versus Senor Vinnie match took place I did, in fact, carry a small plastic spray bottle of diluted perfume in my purse. I would spray it to help take away the smell of sweat and other putrid smells coming from the other wrestlers. During that match between Senor Vinnie and Fenris I overheard comments from Jason Adams and Belinda Simone at their announcing table. I took offense at their comments about me so I decided to walk over to their table and confront them over their comments. As I set out to walk to their announcing table I placed my small plastic spray bottle of diluted perfume on the ring apron in the corner and it was outside of the ring on the ring apron. I walked over and was beginning to confront Jason and Belinda when I heard a scream and when I turned around I saw Vinnie pinning Fenris for the win. I had no clue what happened in the match at that point because I was arguing with Belinda and Jason. Later I was told that Vinnie got knocked to the mat in the corner where I placed my small plastic spray bottle of perfume, before I walked over to confront Jason and Belinda, an supposedly Vinnie grabbed the spray bottle and sprayed Fenris with it. After that everyone was trying to accuse me of spraying perfume into the eyes of Fenris to help Vinnie in his match and I had to argue against those false accusations as I never sprayed anyone with anything during their match. I guess Fenris finally got the message that I was innocent of any wrongdoing in that match so he managed to get a Grudge match scheduled against Senor Vinnie. And before anyone asks I no longer carry any type of spray bottles of perfume in my purse so get off that crap okay!

Bill:  Wow! Bea just picked up the shit you all threw at her and she threw it back in your faces! Har har har! But onto the item of Fenris and a Grudge Match. Fenris decided to call me out and challenge me so I reminded him that the persons involved in the incident were Senor Vinnie and Bea even though Bea didn’t do anything more than setting her small plastic bottle of diluted perfume on the ring apron on the outside of the ring. I told Fenris to leave me out of his challenges since I wasn’t involved, in any way, in the incident. I also went on to remind Fenris that when I signed up with Sin City Wrestling I made it public there were three wrestlers I wanted to face as I felt these three were in the classification of dream matches for me. Those wrestlers were Casey Williams, Griffin Hawkins, and Fenris. I got my matches with Hawkins and Fenris but Casey chickened out. I lost to both Griffin and Fenris in those matches but both matches were amazing, challenging, and fun for me.

Bea:  Tell the viewers what else you mentioned to Fenris as not everyone was able to see those comments when you made them.

Bill:  I told Fenris since his issue is with Senor Vinnie and Bea, and not with me, I suggested he get a Bombshell Tag Team partner and face off against Senor Vinnie and Bea in a Mixed Tag Team match. I guess he decided against that and now we have a Fenris versus Senor Vinnie match at Climax Control 341. This match is classified as a Grudge match to end of Grudge matches. By the way Bea you haven’t told me if you’ll be at ringside in Vinnie’s corner to serve as his Manager or if you’ll remain in the dressing room area.

Bea:  I’m legally the Manager for both you and Senor Vinnie and I’ll be at ringside in Vinnie’s corner. And, no, I don’t have any small plastic spray bottles in my purse to bring with me to ringside.

Bill:  You’re a tough woman Bea. I’ll be watching Vinnie’s match from our dressing room area. Now that we have that information out in the open it is time for me to address Mac Bane in my upcoming match at Climax Control 341.

HEY. . .MAC. . .IT’S ASS KICKING TIME!!!

Bill:  Hi Mac! Glad to have an opportunity to face off against you again. To prove I’m an honest person I’ll give the results of our two previous matches so everyone knows the truth. Our first match against each other was October 11, 2020 at Climax Control 281. It was a Roulette Rules Dumpster Match where, in order to win, you had to stuff your opponent into a Dumpster and close the lid. Mac you did, in fact, manage to get me stuffed into the dumpster and close the lid for the win. Even though you shoved the dumpster and it slammed into me and knocked me down I’m still here ready to take you on for Climax Control 341. Our second match was February 28, 2021 at Climax Control 293. It was a Blast From The Past Tournament match and you and your partner won the match over me and Maki when you pinned me. So here I am, in front of the world, to let everyone know that I’m 0-2 against you and I’m honest and man enough to admit the facts. However, Mac, you and I are a lot alike. We take vicious hits and blows and keep coming back and performing at the top of the performance scale. We don’t let bruises, cuts, or anything else, keep us from getting back into the wrestling ring quickly after a loss. I admire that about you because you’re like me in that you never give up.

Bea:  Before you continue with comments on your match with Mac Bane would you mind telling the viewers what happened with Iris as they only received partial information while we were on tour in India.

Bill:  Okay but I’m not taking a lot of time on this item as I have more important things to discuss. . .like how I’m going to destroy Mac in our match and possibly cause him to go into permanent retirement from wrestling. We’re glad to be back in the United States after our tour in India. When we came back from the tour in India we returned to Lawrenceville, Georgia, to get Iris out of boarding at Camp Bow Wow and to work out an arrangement with our neighbor to take care of Iris while we take shorter trips for wrestling events now that we’re back in the United States. While we’re here in Las Vegas for Climax Control 341 our neighbor, Peter, three houses down from us is taking care of Iris for us. He has a dog named Obi and Peter and his wife will take great care of Iris until we return.

Bea:  What’s the next item you plan on discussing?

Bill:  I’ll discuss my all-time favorite Animal Planet episode that features a Wolverine and a Grizzly Bear as it perfectly represents how myself and Mac Bane are going to be in this match and how I plan on kicking his ass.

Bea:  I watched that episode on Animal Planet also and it is truly an amazing animal encounter!

Bill:  The episode on Animal Planet revolved around a Wolverine and a Grizzly Bear. This Wolverine hides their Deer carcass in the bushes and takes off looking for other things. While the Wolverine was off on his adventure a Grizzly Bear walks over and attempts to walk off with the Deer carcass that rightfully belonged to the Wolverine. As the Grizzly Bear is trying to drag the Deer carcass away the Wolverine comes back and confronts the Grizzly Bear. An altercation occurs and the Wolverine stands his ground and takes on the Grizzly Bear. Even though the Grizzly Bear is powerful, huge, and about 200 pounds heavier than the Wolverine, the Grizzly Bear backs down from the Wolverine and runs away. The Wolverine, proud of his fighting and intimidation abilities, struts off dragging his Deer carcass with him.

Bea:  Tell the viewers why this story is a perfect representation of you and your match with Mac Bane.

Bill:  Mac you’re like the Grizzly Bear in that episode of Animal Planet. You try to take things that don’t belong to you. That’s stealing in case you didn’t understand that concept. But you’re a lot like that Grizzly Bear who was confronted by a pissed off Wolverine who owned the Deer carcass, and the Bear chickens out and runs away. When you have to confront me, at Climax Control 341, a wrestler who will never back down from others, you’ll realize you’re in over your head and you’ll back down and walk, or run, away, just as the Grizzly Bear did against the Wolverine. I’m not allowing you to defeat me in our upcoming match!

INTELLIGENCE AND EDUCATION

Bill:  Oh, Mac, now you get to find out, that in addition to being a fantastic and brutal wrestler in the ring, I’m also exceptionally intelligent and well-educated with two Bachelor’s Degrees. First let me inform you that I’ve tested for my I.Q. numerous times and I’ve been certified to have an I.Q. of 130. Since I’m sure you’re nowhere near where I am in I.Q. let me inform you that my I.Q. places me in the top five percent intelligence in the world. I also have two Bachelor’s Degrees with one in Business Administration and the other in Criminal Justice.

Bea:  Tell them how your two Bachelor’s Degrees play a part in your wrestling.

Bill:  My Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration allows me to be precise, to-the-point, without wasting time, words, and actions in accomplishing my goals and in accomplishing my wrestling in a wrestling ring. My Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice allows me to evaluate all the information presented and for me to quickly, and accurately, conclude whether a crime has been committed or not. So what does my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration tell me about our match? It tells me you lack in so many ways such as in organization, planning, and delivery and that equates into an easy win for me. As for my Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice it allows me to quickly, and accurately, evaluate you to determine if you are bullshitting or telling the truth. Yeah. . .you’re bullshitting! You’re an easy one to evaluate when it comes to whether you have what it takes to take me out or not.

SHAKEN. . .NOT STIRRED

Bill:  Although the comment “Shaken. . .Not Stirred” appeared in the written novels of James Bond it was Sean Connery, while portraying James Bond in the movies, who uttered the words “SHAKEN. . .NOT STIRRED” when he was asked how he liked his Martini. Let’s evaluate that shall we Mac? I plan in shaking your world so badly you’ll lose your focus, lose your ability to continue in our match, and most likely lose your ability to remain conscious during our match. Yes, Mac, as it was with James Bond that when asked how he liked his Marini he said “SHAKEN. . .NOT STIRRED” so when people ask me how I plan on destroying you in our match I respond that I’ll defeat you by you being SHAKEN. . .NOT STIRRED by me. The devastation I plan on administering to you during our match may change how the rules of wrestling come into play in future matches. I have no pity for you. I have no compassion for you. I have no desire to allow you to remain conscious in our match. You have to deal with that because you have no choice in the matter!

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  Well, Mac, what are you thinking right now? Want to know something? I don’t give a shit what you’re thinking or how you’re feeling. I’m in control of our match and I’m planning on sending you into retirement. Does that make you mad Mac? Does that piss you off? Are you so damn upset that you want to piss on yourself? Are you upset to the point that you’ll have to purchase interference in our match to try to have them take me down a bit so that you might increase from a 10 percent chance of winning to perhaps a 20 percent chance of winning. Listen up Mac and listen carefully. I recently took out the big bad monster named Armageddon. I’ve endured decades of Satan coming to me and challenging me for my soul and I defeated him every time. The last time I defeated him he had accepted the stipulations of the challenge that if I win then he is prohibited, for eternity, or every challenging me again.

Bill flashes a huge grin into the camera.

Bill:  Mac you can’t bring anything to our match that I haven’t seen before. You can’t bring anything to this match to give you a victory over me. Speaking specifically on Singles Championships in Sin City Wrestling I know you’ve held the World Heavyweight Championship three times but I also know your longest reign as World Heavyweight Champion was about three months with the other two being about two months. I see you were Roulett Champion but you walked away and vacated the title after a month. I see you were also Internet Champion but you vacated that Championship also after about two months. What the F*CK Mac? I want you to go public and give every excuse ever mentioned in the sport of wrestling but not being able to retain possession of Championships for more than a very short period of time. I dare you!

Bill flashes a huge grin in to the camera again and this time he laughs so hard it takes him some time to recover from his laughing and continue with his comments.

Bill:  Listen carefully Mac. When you look in the Dictionary and look up the word LOSER they show a photo of you! If you look up CHUMP it also shows a photo of you. I mean, come on Mac, if you look up any term that relates to being a chump loser the Dictionary shows a photo of you. I mean. . .DAMN!. . .talk about you living a pathetic life! Mac you can say whatever you want and nothing changes and I still defeat you! Try whatever you want but nothing in the Universe can help you avoid a defeat at my hand. Thanks for tuning in Mac. See you on September 18th at Climax Control 341.

Bill gives the CUT signal to the camera person who cuts their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


145
Supercard Archives / Re: AGOSTINO ROMANO v BILL BARNHART v ARMAGEDDON - TLC
« on: August 31, 2022, 07:52:15 AM »
TRIPLE THREAT MATCHES ARE DOUBLE THE FUN

Narrator:  After Bill Barnhart’s excellent analogy comparing his focus on the golf course to his focus in the wrestling ring, and the inability of Agostino Romano to get a win over him to date, and the fact that the third wrestler in the ring, Armageddon, is an over-sized, slow, dimwitted, piece of crap moron, it will be interesting to see what Bill has to say today.

The scene switches to the Indira Ghandhi Arena in India. We see Bill Barnhart standing in front of the wrestling ring where he will easily destroy Agostino Romano and Armageddon at Violent Conduct VIII. Bill’s wife, Bea, who is also legally Bill’s Manager, is sitting at the table where Jason Adams and Belinda Simone present commentary on the matches. When the camera person informs Bill that they are now live broadcasting Bill launches into his comments.

WHAT THE F**K?

Bill:  I’m shocked! Totally shocked!

Bea:  Huh? Is there something wrong? What happened?

Bill:  Nothing is wrong Bea. I’m just shocked that I’m in a Triple Threat TLC match against Agostino Romano and Armageddon and yet both of them seem to be running scared. I know if I were them I would surely be scared to enter a TLC match against me.

Bea:  Why would that make you shocked? You always expect your opponents to run away and hide rather than take you on face-to-face.

Bill:  I guess shocked is an over-the-top comment. I would think someone like Agostino Romano would jump at the chance to vindicate his three losses to me. Then again maybe he’s finally came to the realization that he’ll never be able to defeat me so he just gave up. When it comes to Armageddon I have no clue what he is thinking or whether he’s even capable of logical thought. Everyone wants to portray him as a big bad-ass jerk and yet he remains silent instead of getting in my face over this match. I mean, come on, this match has the bottom line that the winner of the match can expect a shot at a Championship so why go into hiding when you should be out in the open letting everyone know your desire is to kick ass and walk away as the winner of the match.

Bea:  Just go into the match and accept the win over Armageddon and Agostino and accept whatever match Management assigns you to. Always remember that Roy Orbison has a hit song titled RUNNING SCARED and it applies to Agostino Romano and Armageddon in your upcoming match.

Bea flashes a thumbs-up to Bill and he responds with two thumbs-up back to Bea.

TRIPLE THREAT MATCHES ARE DOUBLE THE FUN

Bill:  Triple Threat matches are always double the fun of regular matches. Add into the match that this is a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match and you can see that this match will be double the fun for me. I love Triple Threat matches and I love beating opponents with chairs, tossing them off ladders, and slamming them through tables. Yes! Triple Threat matches really are double the fun. . .for me anyway. That makes me think of the Double Mint Gum slogan that goes:  DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE. . .DOUBLE YOUR FUN. . .WITH DOUBLEMINT, DOUBLEMINT, DOUBLEMINT GUM I get double the pleasure of defeating two opponents rather than one. I get double the fun by slamming two opponents through tables, tossing them off ladders, and whacking the crap out of them with chairs. This is a match made in Heaven for me! Woo hoo!!!

Bill laughs for a time while looking at Bea at the announcing table where she gives Bill a thumbs up on his comments again.

NO MERCY FOR MY OPPONENTS

Bill:  Agostino. . .Armageddon. . .you two need to listen up. Then again the term listen up means you have a working brain that can understand truth and logic. Oh well I can try to talk sense to you two senseless morons and see what happens. Agostino I’ve defeated you so many times that I can do it blindfolded and with my hands tied behind my back. As for you, Armageddon, you’re carrying a lot of weight but even with your height you still wear down easily due to carrying that extra weight. Compared to me you’re carrying extra weight that is the equivalent of around a half dozen bowling balls of weight. Think that doesn’t wear on you and wear you down quickly? Think again! Oops! I’m sorry Armageddon. I actually asked you to think which would give people the impression you might be able of logical thought. HAR HAR HAR!!!

Bea:  Keep the comments flowing Bill! Tell them the truth! Preach it to them Bill!

Bill:  Agostino I actually feel sorry for you. Well a little bit anyway. We’ve had three one-on-one matches and I defeated you all three times. The fourth match we had was a Triple Threat where you got pinned by the other wrestler involved in the match with us. Although I didn’t pin you in that match for the win, as our other opponent pinned you for the loss in the match, I wasn’t pinned in the match so there ya go! Now you walk into our upcoming match where I get to defeat you again. However, Romano, I may turn out to be a nice guy and spare you getting pinned by me or submitting to me. How? I might decide to be nice to you and I’ll decide to pin Armageddon or make him submit so that you wouldn’t have to endure the taunts from fans who would have called you AGOSTINO “FOUR TIME LOSER TO BILL BARNHART” ROMANO!

Bea:  Another great dig Bill!

Bill:  Thanks Bea! Oh, Armageddon, you didn’t think I was gonna spend all my time insulting Agostino did you? Nah! I have enough facts, truth, and insults, to go around for the both of you dozens of times over. So you want to make the claim that your size and weight will make you a force that nobody, including me, can defeat? Hmmm. . .where have I heard that before? We used to have a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling who was a big man but I refuse to mention his name. He claimed to be undefeatable and he claimed he was indestructible. Guess what? He turned out to be a big man who was defeated numerous times and he was destroyed several times over. He finally gave up trying and went away. I don’t know where the hell he went and I damn sure don’t care! I see that same thing in you Armageddon. You’re like a miniature Chihuahua dog. All bark and no bite. Over here I’m all bite and a lot of bark as I’m the Bulldog of Sin City Wrestling. Be ready for a loss as I’m going to defeat you!

CHECKING UP ON IRIS IN BOARDING AT CAMP BOW WOW

Bill receives a call on his cell phone from Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He excuses himself to answer the phone as he doesn’t know if Camp Bow Wow is having a problem with Iris.

Bill:  Excuse me for a moment. I have a call from Edwin, the Manager at Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and I need to take the call in case they are having a problem with Iris. Hi Edwin! Is everything okay with Iris at Camp Bow Wow?

Edwin:  Yes Iris is fine. I took your advice to arrange a video call between Iris and Pete the Cactus. The video call went well and then we heard from Pete that he wanted to come and spend the day with Iris here at Camp Bow Wow. I agreed as I figured it would be a short visit but. . .

Bill:  But what?

Edwin:  After a few hours we were putting the dogs into their cabins for the evening. Pete made it clear he misses Iris so much that he asked to spend the night. I figured it would be okay since they are dating. Pete spent the night in the cabin we put Iris in and both enjoyed their visit and both woke up this morning happy.

Bill:  And. . .?

Edwin:  Now Pete is asking if he can stay here with Iris until you and Bea return from your trip to India. I told him NO but he is a strong willed little guy. What should I do?

Bill:  I’ll take care of this Edwin. I’ll call Senor Vinnie and either he, or someone he assigns to the task, will be there quickly to remove Pete the Cactus from Camp Bow Wow and return him to his home. Thanks for letting me know. Someone from Senor Vinnie will call you shortly to make the arrangements to pick up Pete the Cactus. Bye!

Edwin:  Thanks Bill!

Bill ends the call with Edwin at Camp Bow Wow and returns to focusing on the camera to deliver his closing comments.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  I’m gonna have a stern talk with Iris and Pete when we return home.

Bill:  Both of us will have a stern talk with Iris and Pete when we return home. Agostino I’ll start my closing comments with you. I can put my closing comments into simple terms. You’ve lost to me three times in three matches and you’ll never be able to defeat me in the wrestling ring. That was easy for you to understand right? Damn sure it is!

Bill pauses before commenting to Armageddon.

Bill:  Armageddon you try to get everyone to believe you are so big and bad that nobody can take you down and take you out. *sigh* How many times have a heard that bullshit from opponents? If I had a Dollar for each time an opponent said that to me I would have hundreds of dollars in my wallet. The problem other wrestlers have with you is that they go straight at you and believe they can quickly take you out and then, because of your size and weight, you take them down and take them out. They all have the same failure and that is not taking things in small amounts until the victory is theirs. If you want to empty the water out of a swimming pool you don’t try to remove all the water at once. You open the drain and allow the water to drain until what water is left is easy to eliminate. If you want to take down a tree in your yard you should know that trying to take the tree out all at once it won’t work. You have to get a chainsaw and whittle away at the tree until what is left is easy for you to management and eliminate. Although I’m sure your few remaining working brain cells are snapping and frying trying to comprehend what I’m saying I believe you are getting my point. The way to defeat wrestlers who are large and heavy is to wear them down until they are unable to retaliate. When you do that to an opponent then when you deliver the final blows so your opponent is down and out then they are defeated. I’ve done that to dozens of wrestlers larger and heavier than me. Trust me, Armageddon, you’re not immune to the rules of wearing you down and taking you out. I’m the device that will take you down and out. I’ll ensure you’re hurting for weeks after I defeat you. And do you want to know the best part about my win over you? The best part is that you can try for the remainder of your wrestling career to take me out but you’ll always fail. I’m better than you’ll ever be and I’ll prove that at Violent Conduct VIII.

Bill informs the camera person that he is done with his comments for this presentation. The camera person cuts their camera feed and the Network returns to regularly scheduled programming for this time and our screen goes dark.


146
Supercard Archives / Re: AGOSTINO ROMANO v BILL BARNHART v ARMAGEDDON - TLC
« on: August 25, 2022, 09:09:51 AM »
TLC MATCHES ARE FUN

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart has a match at Violent Conduct VIII. Bill is in a Triple Threat which is a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match. His two opponents are Agostino Romano and Armageddon. You may also know that Bill loves to go to the Golf Course and get in some rounds of Golf. Although Bill is not at a PGA Pro Golfer level he does have fun on the course.

COMPARISONS

The scene shifts from the Narrator to a shot of Bill Barnhart. He is relaxing in his hotel room with his wife and Manager Bea. Bill is in a Triple Threat TLC match against Agostino Romano and Armageddon. Sin City Wrestling is holding Violent Conduct VIII at the Indira Ghandi Arena in India. Bill and Bea are informed by the camera person they are now live broadcasting.

Bill:  I’ll start my comments by giving you comparisons between myself as a wrestler and myself as a player of the game of golf. I’m a member of the Collins Hill Golf Club located in Lawrenceville, Georgia. I try to get in a round of 18 holes of golf at least once per week. . .twice per week when I have the time available. . . and I’m what you call an average golfer. Let me present some statistics for you so you understand where I’m coming from on my comments.

Bill picks up a sheet of paper that contains his scores on the golf course at Collins Hill Golf Club since he returned to active playing of golf on June 7, 2022.

Bill:  Most of my life playing golf I’ve shot scores of around 90 so that’s my target score even though I’m working on bringing my scores down into the mid-80’s. Since returning to active play on June 7, 2022, at Collins Hill Golf Club in Lawrenceville, Georgia, I’ve scored from 97, which is plus 25 strokes down to 87 which is plus 15 strokes as the normal score to be even for the course is 72 strokes. I’m still working on my golf swing since taking time off from the game of golf requires you work on tweaking your game all the time. By the end of 2022 I expect to be at the area of consistently shooting scores on the golf course in the mid-80’s which is good for a course that has a score for 18 holes of golf, from the regulation white tees, of 72 strokes.

Bill places the sheet of paper to the side then he looks into the camera.

Bill:  In the game of golf, as in the sport of wrestling, you need to know what you have in your bag and how to use those items to your benefit. In my golf bag I have a Driver, a 3-Wood, and a 5-Wood Hybrid. The 5-Wood Hybrid takes the place of a 5-wood, 2-Iron, 3-Iron, 4-Iron, and 5-Iron. The concept with a hybrid club is to be able to utilize it to take the place of the clubs you need to carry in your bag. I also have in my bag a 6-Iron, 7-Iron, 8-Iron, 9-Iron, Pitching Wedge, and a club called The Rescue Club which is a chipper designed to get you out of the rough or tall grass when near the greens. And, of course, I have a Putter in my bag.

Bill stops for a moment to take a drink of water.

Bill:  I’m sure your next question is which clubs I use the most and for what purposes I use those clubs. I sometimes use the Driver to hit off the Tees if I’m on a hole that has a wide fairway so if when I hit my golf ball it fades to the left or right I’ll still be in the fairway. If I’m on a hole that has a tight fairway I prefer to tee off using my 3-Wood as I have less fade or draw when using the 3-Wood. I rarely use the 5-Wood Hybrid as I feel more comfortable hitting shots in the fairway using my 6-Iron through Pitching Wedge. However, occasionally, I’ll  use the 5-Wood Hybrid if my ball is in a good position and the ground under the grass is not hard. I use either my regular Pitching Wedge, or The Rescue Iron, to chip onto the greens depending on the condition of the grass around the greens and on the greens.

Bill pauses to again take a drink of water.

Bill:  Agostino. . .Armageddon. . .I imagine the two of you yelling at your screen at my comments demanding to know why I’m discussing my golf game and what clubs I carry in my golf bag instead of only talking about wrestling. I imagine you two thinking I’m an idiot with my comments since we’re coming up on a wrestling match and not a game of golf on a golf course. Want to know something? I don’t give a f*ck what you two think or whether you two are even capable of logical thought! I do what I do and you two do what you do. What about you Agostino? Are you going to try to tell the world that me, Bill Barnhart, is a worthless piece of crap? Seriously? Romano we’ve had three singles matches against each other and you lost all three of those matches to me! We both were also involved in a Triple Threat match but the other wrestler in the match pinned you for his win so that means I didn’t get pinned in that match. For someone who cannot succeed against me to try to hurl insults my way is about as dumb as a person diving into a swimming pool before checking to ensure there’s water in the pool.

Bill lets out a hearty laugh at the expense of Agostino Romano.

Bill:  So now I turn my attention to you Armageddon. Oooooo. . .you think because you’re big and heavy that everyone should be afraid of you. Nice try but that shit doesn’t work with me. Everyone knows the story where the last time Satan came to me to try to win my soul for  eternity I slam dunked his sorry ass and he’s now banned for eternity from ever challenging me for my soul again. If Satan wasn’t able to get the job done against me then what the hell gives you the concept that you can take me out? Listen up bitch! You have NO chance of taking me out! Okay. . .okay. . .I know you’re gonna brag that you are 7 inches taller than me and 79 pounds heavier than I am. So that’s supposed to make me turn away and run? Think again! Let’s run some numbers shall we? Yes you are 7 inches taller than I am but throughout my wrestling career nobody who was taller than me had an advantage over me. So what about your 79 pounds more weight you carry than I do? Carrying that extra weight is the equivalent of carrying the weight of 5 bowling balls at 16 pounds each. Carrying nearly 80 pounds of additional weight over what I weigh doesn’t give you an advantage. . .it just causes you to wear down quickly. But, Armageddon, I know you’ll not listen or believe my comments now but when I defeat you and Agostino and my hand is raised in victory then you’ll believe what I said.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bill:  THE BOTTOM LINE. That’s a term used in accounting primarily for business purposes but it also is used for personal income. You add up your income, subtract expenses and payroll if you run a business, and what is left after the subtractions is your bottom line on your accounting statement. Sometimes the bottom line leaves you IN THE BLACK which means you turned a profit. Other times the bottom line leaves you IN THE RED which means you took a loss. This doesn’t just apply to business accounting. It also applies to personal finances and work performance in whatever your line of work happens to be. So, Agostino and Armageddon, looking at the accounting sheets I see that both of you are IN THE RED which means you’re coming into our match lacking everything. You’re out of money. You’re out of wrestling abilities. And you’re out of fan support. On the other hand I’m IN THE BLACK which means I turned a profit. I have an abundance of everything. I have lots of money. I have tons of wrestling experience and abilities. I have an abundance of everything. Both of you combined don’t equal one-half of what I am.

Bill smiles into the camera.

Bill:  Agostino when you retired from motorcycle racing you should have remained retired. But you just had to get into the sport of wrestling where you have proven yourself to be a loser. Nothing changes for our match Agostino. You’re still a loser. As for you, Armageddon, you may be big and heavy but you’re exceptionally light when it comes to wrestling talent, abilities, and fan support. And you should know that the term Armageddon means the end battle to end all battles. By the time I get done beating you down you’ll be much shorter and lighter because of all the shit I beat out of you and you will wish you were no longer alive so that you would stop feeling the pain from the damage I inflict upon you! I can’t say much more to get you two to understand that you getting placed in this TLC match against me will be your end in the sport of wrestling. I’m sure both of you know how devastating your loss to me is going to be but you still want to show up and try to change the outcome. Sorry but there’s no changing the outcome of our match that I win and you two lose.

Bea informs the camera person that Bill is done with his comments for today. The camera person calls into the Network to ask them what to do and they tell them to cut their camera feed and the Network will return to the regularly scheduled programming for this time slot and then our screen goes dark.


147
Climax Control Archives / A HELLUVA WHAT?
« on: August 19, 2022, 07:58:14 PM »
A HELLUVA WHAT?

Narrator:  What in the world do we have here? A match between Bill Barnhart and Helluva Bottom Carter for Climax Control 340 that’s what. Carter is at such a huge disadvantage in height, weight, wrestling ability, and overall talent, that this match probably won’t even last ten minutes before Bill wins the the match.

HAVING TO DEAL WITH DUMB ASS PEOPLE

The scene opens and we see Bill and Bea Barnhart sitting at a table in the Jai Da Dhaba restaurant which is very close to the Rock Garden Outdoor Amphitheater in Chandigarh, India, where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 340. They are informed that a camera person has arrived to broadcast their comments for Bill’s upcoming match. Bea instructs the camera person to set up their equipment and let them know when they are live broadcasting. When the camera person is set up, and they give the signal they are live broadcasting, Bill and Bea begin commenting.

Bill:  Many of you already know I have a low tolerance for stupid people, sales people, and noisy neighbors. This low tolerance of those morons does play a part in my wrestling career where I have a low tolerance for wrestlers who are stupid, who cheat, who lie, who try to sell you that they are a good wrestler when they suck in the ring, and they try to solicit you for things they already know you detest.

Bea:  Start with the neighbors a few houses down from us who always blast music and yell and scream all the time.

Bill:  I don’t know the names of the neighbors but I know where they live and what their address is. At least five times per month they hang out in their backyard blasting music, yelling, screaming, and other things, but they know. . .or at least they should know. . .that the noise ordinance in Gwinnett County is that you have to shut the f*ck up at 10 p.m. Five or more times per month they hang out in their backyard with thumping music that shakes our house and windows. They yell and scream and they think that is okay. Nope! Not okay and I’ve called the Police on their sorry asses every time they go beyond 10 p.m. with their bullshit.

Bea:  Do you have a comparison to our moron noisy neighbors and the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling?

Bill:  Bea I always have a comparison for everything. I compare Helluva Bottom Carter to be like our dumb ass noisy neighbors. They think they have to bother people in order to get attention but they fail to realize the attention they get for their bullshit is negative attention.

Bea:  Tell the viewers how you feel about solicitors.

Bill:  All solicitors who call on the phone or knock on my door are annoying shits. I tell them what I think of them and chase them off and tell them to f*ck off. The two worst ones are the ones who call and ask if we want to sell our home. I ask them since they work for a real estate company don’t they know my house is NOT for sale? When they answer YES I go off on them and tell them they are assholes and harassing us for asking us if we want to sell our home when our home is not on the market to sell. This usually gets them to get rude and start cursing but I honestly don’t give a damn. The other scammer harassing caller is the one claiming our auto warranty has expired and I need to renew it. When I ask them to tell me the make and model of the vehicle they claim I have that is out of warranty they tell me they cannot reveal that information. I reply that unless they can tell me the make and model of vehicle they think is out of warranty they can f*ck off! That elicits cursing and them issuing threats to me. Just more blocked calls added to my blocked callers list. This also relates to the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling as most of them are fakers who lie about stuff and try to get people to believe they are legitimate when they are nothing but fakes and frauds. Yeah, Carter, you are at the top of the list of scammer fraud wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling!

COMPARISON OF BILL TO OTHER WRESTLERS

The waiter brings the food and drinks to the table for Bill and Bea. The food looks fantastic and we are sure Bill and Bea are ready to eat but they are in the middle of a broadcast for Bill’s upcoming match so they have to wait a bit before they can eat.

Bill:  I wish to now make a comparison between myself and other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling specifically Helluva Bottom Carter. I start off with physical characteristics. I’m 6 feet 4 inches and 240 pounds while you, Carter, are 5 feet 9 inches and 172 pounds You’re giving up 7 inches of height and 58 pounds in weigh which is a huge disadvantage for you. I know you’re going to try to play those differences down but your attempt will be useless. Damn hard for a Chihuahua to try to brag how much better they are than a Pit Bull.

Bea:  Tell them the other items you use to compare yourself against other wrestlers.

Bill:  Carter a lot of wrestlers act like fools because they think that makes them look cool. Nope. It makes them look stupid. From what I’ve read about you it appears you enjoy acting like a fool. So be it. Your loss. Remember that acting like a fool doesn’t win wrestling matches. Performing well in the ring is what wins wrestling matches.

Bea:  Are you going to tell the viewers, and Carter, the other comparison items on your list?

Bill:  Nah! The list is very long and most of the idiots watching my presentation blank out mentally after a few minutes. I’ll just address my comments to Helluva Bottom Carter and hope the others can comprehend the things I say.

Bea:  Good idea Bill. The food they delivered looks fantastic and I want to dive into it soon.

Bill:  Too many wrestlers, like you Carter, think that gimmicks and acting silly wins matches. Too many wrestlers think that wearing makeup wins matches. Others feel that wearing funny clothing wins matches. Many wrestlers believe that having lame finishers wins matches. Carter, although you have all the items I just listed, none of them translate into winning a wrestling match. Listen carefully. Acting silly, wearing makeup, dressing in funny clothing, and having a lame finisher, doesn’t win matches. What wins matches is a combination of wrestling skills, ring presence, and the ability to get the job done. You, Carter, lack all those items that lead to winning matches. Therefore your loss to me is guaranteed.

PAUSE FOR A MEAL

Bill and Bea excuse themselves and let us know they need to eat their meal before it gets cold. They inform us they will return shortly. The camera person cuts their camera feed and the screen goes black.

About 20 minutes later the camera feed is back and we see that Bill and Bea have finished their meal and they are ready to continue with their comments for Bill’s match with Helluva Bottom Carter.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  Oh…my…gawd!!! That food was amazing! If you visit Chandigarh, India, you absolutely need to eat at the Jai Da Dhaba restaurant! You will not be disappointed! Only Bill’s upcoming win against Helluva Bottom Carter is more amazing than the food at Jai Da Dhaba restaurant!

Bill:  Let me tell you something Carter. I know you’ve held Championships in Sin City Underground and you want to brag about those accomplishments. Well another wrestler won numerous Championships in SCU and he isn’t winning Championships in Sin City Wrestling. That wrestler is Hitamashii. I see you like I see Hitamashii. Somebody who used to be successful and now somebody who is a fill-in for a match to ensure we have a full wrestling event. Now, Carter, please let me entertain you with my version of the song Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd. I won’t mention the entire song lyrics but I will mention the lyrics most commonly known and I have edited them to fit you and me and our match. Hope you’re ready for my version of that song as I’m ready to present it to you.

Bill looks into the camera and begins singing his version of the popular lyrics to Pink Floyd’s Another Brick In the Wall.

I don’t need wrestling education. . .
Because I’m the best wrestler in the nation. . .
And if you think you’ve got it all. . .
Then you’re gonna take a horrible fall. . .
Yeah, Carter, you are gonna fall. . .
Because. . .
All in all you’re just another twit in the hall. . .

Bill is done with his version of Pink Floyd’s Another Brick In the Wall and a huge grin comes on his face.

Bill:  Carter I want you to come to our match over-confident and positive that you’re going to defeat me. I want you to be the fool, like the hundreds of fools I’ve defeated before, who came into matches over-confident and I handed their asses to them. My only hope is that you try hard to act like a legitimate valid wrestler instead of a side-show act at the circus. See you on Sunday, August 21, 2022, as it is the day your wrestling career is proven to the world to be a scam. Please allow me to close with a term used by one of my favorite wrestlers when I was growing up. His name was Freddie Blassie and he called a lot of his scrawny opponents a PENCIL NECK GEEK. Please allow me to recite the ending of the song Freddie Blassie produced titled, of course, PENCIL NECK GEEK, as you fit the description.

Bill picks up a sheet of paper where the ending lyrics of Freddie Blassie’s song, PENCIL NECK GEEK, are written and Bill reads the words using his best Freddie Blassie voice.

They say, "these geeks come a dime a dozen."
I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplyin' the dimes
It's gonna be real hard times for all of these
Grit eatin', scum suckin'
Boot lickin', drop kickin'
Gut grindin', nail bitin'
Glue sniffin', scab pickin'
Butt scratchin', egg hatchin'
Sleazy, smelly, pepper bellied
Dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks!
Nothing but a pencil neck geek
Pencil neck geek
Pencil neck geek
Pencil neck geek!!!

Bill is done with his impersonation of Freddie Blassie using his trademarked terms for Pencil Neck Geek Opponents and he looks into the camera and bursts out in loud laughter.

Bea gives the cut signal to the camera person and they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


148
Climax Control Archives / AM I WRESTLING CURIOUS GEORGE?
« on: August 12, 2022, 01:25:23 PM »
AM I WRESTLING CURIOUS GEORGE?

Narrator:  Every time I have the pleasure of speaking with Bill or Bea Barnhart before they go on the air to present their comments for their upcoming match I’m amused. This time it was Bea, who is facing Georgie Robertson at Climax Control 339, who made fun of her opponents, Georgie Robertson by stating her opponent seems “curious” so she has nicknamed Georgie Robertson as CURIOUS GEORGE!

BEA GETTING THINGS OFF HER CHEST

The scene shifts where we get a shot of Bea Barnhart standing in front of the wrestling ring at the Netaji Indoor Stadium located in Kilkata, India, where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 339. Bea is not in her normal wrestling attire for her presentation of her comments. She is instead wearing blue jeans and a black pullover shirt. The camera person informs Bea they are live broadcasting so she begins her comments.

Bea:  Before I launch into comments to tear down my opponent. . .Curious George. . .I mean Georgie Robertson. . .for Climax Control 339 I need to get a few items presented to show you what’s going on in the world.

THINGS HAPPENING TO BEA’S FRIENDS

Bea:  The first item is about my friend, Teresa, and her son who is in his 20’s and they live near us in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He was at a gas station to get gas for his car and he was approached by a criminal who demanded his wallet and the keys to his car. Teresa’s son managed to get away from the thug and get in his car and he started to drive off but the criminal still managed to shoot him. We think he was hit in the neck or head and Teresa told me it is likely her son would end up paralyzed. I know what some of you think. You think when this happens you should just cry and shake like a coward and hand over your wallet or purse and car keys to the criminal. People who tell you to do that believe if you do that the criminal won’t harm you. Yeah. . .Right!!! Ask yourself what if Teresa’s son had given his wallet and keys to his car to the criminal? There is a 90 percent chance the criminal would have still shot him after gaining possession of the wallet and car. So my advice is to never cower from people and to stand up and take control of the situation.

Bea sighs. . .

Bea:  My other friend, Amy, has two children. One graduated from Berkmar High School in Lawrenceville, Georgia, for the 2022 class. Her other daughter just started Middle School in Lawrenceville. On Thursday, August 4, 2022, she was apprehended by Gwinnett Police with the claim that she had an outstanding Warrant on file for failing to show up for her court case for Divorce from her abusive husband. This man is the father of her daughter in Middle School but not the daughter of her 18 year old daughter who just graduated High School.

Bea sighs again. . .

Bea:  Here’s the deal. Yes there was a Warrant issued during her divorce case against her husband. The Warrant was only in place to ensure she shows up in court on the date the Divorce is to be decided upon by the presiding Judge. Toward the end of 2020 Amy and her husband came to an agreement to drop the Divorce process in the Court and work things out through counseling. What that meant is that since the Divorce case was no longer in place then the Attorneys on both sides of the case should have contacted Cherokee County, Georgia, to inform them that since there is no longer a Divorce case pending that the Warrant to appear for the Judge’s ruling on the Divorce is no longer required and has been cancelled. Well. . .f*ck. . .nobody remembered to tell the Court system in Cherokee County, Georgia. Amy’s Attorney, and her husband’s Attorney, both failed to take the action necessary to cancel this Warrant since there is no reason to show in Court to hear the decision on the Divorce case when the Divorce was dropped by both Amy and her husband. This meant that Amy was arrested for violating the warrant for failing to appear for her Divorce case but the Divorce case was cancelled over a year ago and was not active for her to show up for it. Amy spent three days in custody in the detention center for failing to show for a case that was cancelled over a year ago. How stupid is that eh?

Bea sighs again but this time she rolls her eyes. . .

Bea:  Want to know what the worst part about this is? It isn’t that Amy is divorcing her husband. It isn’t that Amy has two children to take care of. When I bailed Amy out of Cherokee County Detention Center, at a cost of $1,200 that I withdrew from my bank account, you would have thought Amy would be so damn happy to be out of the Detention Center that she would have thanked me for bailing her out and she would have told me she will pay me back quickly. Nope! She didn’t thank me for bailing her out. She didn’t mention that she’ll ensure she pays me back for the $1,200 I used to bail her out. She didn’t do or say anything that showed she appreciated what I did for her getting her out of Jail on Bail. Yep. . .nothing at all from Amy! I assure you two things. She damn well better pay me back quickly or the next time she gets arrested I won’t bail her out as I’ll leave her to rot in jail!

Bea gain lets out another sigh. . .

BEA TALKS TO GEORGIE ROBERTSON

Bea:  Georgie you’re probably wondering why I told you the two items about my friend’s son getting shot and my other friend, Amy, getting arrested and I bailed her out. I told you because you need to know that you, and most of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling, are like that thug who tried to steal the wallet and car from Teresa’s son then he shot him when he tried to get away from the thug. You’re a bunch of lazy jerk asshole fools who want to steal stuff from other wrestlers. You want to try to get around the rules to get cheap wins. You’re in for a rude awakening against me Georgie I don’t do stupid dog tricks like ROLL OVER AND PLAY DEAD as you’ll find out on Sunday. As for the other incident of Amy getting arrested, me bailing her out, and she didn’t even thank me for what I did for her, that’s an example of how you and the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling are. You all lie, cheat, and steal, then you all condemn wrestlers like me and Bill who work hard in the sport and achieve our success due to our hard work and dedication.

Bea takes a deep breath then continues with her comments. . .

Bea:  So you are my next opponent who is a Brit  named Georgie Robertson. The first thing that came to my mind was Curious George the Monkey. I’m expecting to see Georgie Robertson walk around the corner followed by The Man with the Yellow Hat. Maybe you can hire a Manager who dresses like The Man with the Yellow Hat eh Georgia? Ha ha ha!!!

Bea cannot help but laugh at her comments.

Bea:  Well, well, well, I get to face a Brit wrestler named Curious George. Okay. . .her name is Georgie Robertson. . .so f*cking what. Regardless of what I call you, Georgie, you remain a joke in my eyes. Coming into this match we’re even on height and weight with me being five feet five inches and one hundred thirty pounds and you being five feet six inches and one hundred thirty-three pounds. It appears you like to consider yourself as cocky and that’s expected because most Brits are cocky, sarcastic, and stupid. I also reviewed your move set listed and I got so bored I fell asleep several times. I kept reviewing your move set but kept dozing off from boredom and waking up to continue reading your nonsense.

A CALL FROM CAMP BOW WOW

Bea’s cell phone rings and she checks the caller ID and it says the call is from Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where Iris, her English Bulldog, is boarding.

Bea:  Please excuse me for a moment while I take this call. I need to make sure Iris isn’t having a problem. Since I’m don’t hide stuff from everyone else, like the majority of my opponents do, I’ll place the call on speaker so you can hear the conversation.

Bea answers the call and begins to talk with Edwin who is the Manager of Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

Bea:  Hi Edwin! I’m surprised I’m getting a call from Camp Bow Wow. Is Iris okay? Is there a problem?

Edwin:  No, Bea, there’s not a major problem. Iris is okay and she’s eating and playing with the other dogs in boarding, but she seems a bit depressed and sad.

Bea:  Well that’s most likely because me and Bill are on tour in India wrestling for Sin City Wrestling and Iris misses us. We will be back in a few weeks and Iris will be okay. But I do have a possible solution. After our call I’ll text you the number of Senor Vinnie who is our friend and fellow wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. He will give you the number of where his friend, Pete the Cactus, is being taken care of and you can call them and if Pete isn’t too far away from Lawrenceville, Georgia, you can ask if they can bring Pete the Cactus to Camp Bow Wow to have a play date with Iris. For sure that will perk her up. And if Pete the Cactus is too far away to make the trip to Camp Bow Wow then ask them to set up a video call on the computer so that Iris can have face time on video call with Pete the Cactus.

Edwin:  Okay, Bea, thanks! I’ll do all I can to keep Iris happy and perked up.

Bea ends the call and returns to looking into the camera to present comments concerning her upcoming match.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  Sorry about that. I apologize for the distraction but the well-being of Iris is important to me and Bill. I’m happy Iris is okay except that she misses us. Hopefully Camp Bow Wow can get Pete the Cactus to either show up and talk with Iris or at least talk to her via video call.

Bea:  Thanks for allowing me to talk with Edwin at Camp Bow Wow so he can help Iris chill out until me and Bill return home from this Tour. So, Little Miss Georgie Robertson, what are you thinking? Okay. . .okay…sorry for asking you to think as I know that people who have little pea brains like yours that thinking makes your head hurt. So since you now have a killer headache due to me asking you a simple question I’ll take the position of answering what I think you’re thinking. You probably think I’m going to be an easy match for you but that proves you aren’t thinking. You’re thinking irrationally and not logically but it is still the same thing that you’re not thinking about me standing opposite the ring in our match. You’re probably thinking that I’ll be easy to take out. Again you’re not thinking logically or  intelligently. You’re probably like all the other mindless morons who follow-the-leader in claiming that I did something I never did. If you’re one of them that means I need to kick the bullshit out of you then kick some common sense into you. Perhaps, Georgie, you think you can call on your friends to come to the ring to interfere in our match so you can get a cheap win. Good grief girl! Do you even have one honest logical thought in your head? I’m not buying the hype people are putting on you. I’ve seen those like you come and go dozens of times. Talk talk talk is all you do and the saying goes that talk is cheap. When Sunday, August 14, 2022, rolls around you can no longer hide behind a camera and talk shit about me. All the talk ends on Sunday and that’s when I put you in your place which is in the corner where I sit you and tell you to shut the f*ck up or I’ll beat more crap out of you some more. Think what you want Georgie. Feel what you want Georgie. No matter what you think or feel I win this match and I move on and move up in the rankings. I sure love over-confident opponents because they tend to make rookie mistakes which is unforgivable in this sport. You know what? I hope you have a nice few days leading up to our match. After I hurt you in our match and hand you a loss there’s going to be way less nice days in your life.

<font color=whiteBea informs the camera person she is done with her comments so they call into the Network to ask them what they want them to do and the Network informs them to cut their camera feed and the Network will return to regularly scheduled programming for this time slot.


149
Climax Control Archives / LACHLAN KANE WILL NEED A CANE AFTER OUR MATCH
« on: August 04, 2022, 06:24:11 PM »
LACHLAN KANE WILL NEED A CANE AFTER OUR MATCH

Narrator:  Bill has a match coming up for Climax Control 338 against Lachlan Kane. Bill is looking forward to this match, as he does for all his matches, and he is ready to discuss his upcoming match with you.

The scene switches to the broadcast studio in the Kanteerava Indoor Stadium in Bangalore, India. Bill is sitting at a table to give his comments on his upcoming match. He is casually dressed in blue jeans and a pink pullover shirt. When the Manager of the broadcast studio informs Bill they are live broadcasting Bill launches into his comments.

GREETINGS TO IRIS

Bill:  Bea is not in the studio with me today as this is my air time to present comments for my match at Climax Control 338 against Lachlan Kane. Before I launch into my comments I wish to greet my English Bulldog, Iris, who I hope is watching this broadcast at Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where she is in boarding until we return home from this tour.

Bill clears his throat then he gets ready to give his presentation.

BILL’S HISTORY IN TWO PREVIOUS WRESTLING FEDERATIONS LEADING UP TO SIN CITY WRESTLING.

Bill:  Before I launch into comments directly to you, Lachlan, I want to give you a bit of information on how I am as a wrestler. I’ll take you back to when I worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance then to my time in Sin City Wrestling.

Bill takes a drink of water before continuing with his comments.

Bill:  When I worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance, which is the Wrestling Federation where Goth was the Owner, I was a multi-time Grand Slam Champion. I was also one of the most successful Hardcore Champions in the history of that Federation. When Asylum Wrestling Alliance decided to close their doors I moved to another Wrestling Federation. I was also successful holding  Championships there. My major achievement in that Wrestling Federation was winning the World Heavyweight Championship. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to claim the Championship for any length of time as the owners of that Federation went belly-up financially and closed close up shop. Even though I didn’t have a chance to defend that Championship due to that situation the Record books show I was their last World Heavyweight Champion.

Bill again takes a drink of water before he continues.

Bill:  When they closed up shop I signed on with Sin City Wrestling. I’m honest that I expected I would win all the Championships available to me in a short period of time. Nothing changed in my wrestling. Nothing changed in my desire. The only thing that changed is that I went from two Wrestling Federations that had very good talent to Sin City Wrestling that has great talent. Maybe I took the other wrestlers lightly and it cost me by missing out on obtaining numerous Championships.

Bill breaks to stretch and then he continues with his comments.

BILL’S HISTORY IN SIN CITY WRESTLING

Bill:  The bottom line is that I kept looking forward, I kept moving ahead, and I kept my determination to obtain Championships when the opportunities came my way. Then, on October 23, 2021, I earned the Roulette Championship. That brought us to Climax Control 326 where I held the Roulette Championship for six months, and during those six months I successfully defended the Roulette Championship three times, but at Climax Control 326 I lost the Roulette Championship to Finn Whelan. I have no regrets and nothing has changed in my approach and attitude toward wrestling.

Bill flashes a smile into the camera.

BILL VERSUS LACHLAN

Bill:  Hi Lachlan. Did you miss me? Have you been wondering where I’ve been? Did you hope something happened to me or that I forgot we were having a matc?Not sure why you would waste your time and energy looking for answers to those questions. You need to remember that Satan came after my soul and I defeated his sorry ass so he can never challenge for my soul again so do you honestly think you’re able to take me out? Did you honestly think I went into hiding because you haven’t heard comments from me for nearly a week? Ha ha ha! I’m always the one to be in the face of others so that line of thinking by you is bullshit. Never in my wrestling career have I turned away from a match and refused to participate in the match. Never in my wrestling career have I backed down after a match started. I’ve been in more horrifying, terrifying, violent, and life-threatening matches than everyone on the Sin City Wrestling Roster combined. I’m still here asshole! I’m still going to take you out and dump you in the trash dumpster to be ready for the next trash pickup. Remember that if Satan was unable to intimidate me and take possession of my soul what gives you the right to claim that you can intimidate me and destroy me? Yeah! That’s what I thought!

Bill lets out a hearty laugh before continuing with his comments.

Bill:  Let me start by letting the viewers know that we have no history in the ring against each other. It appears this match is designed to create a history between us. I see you held the Mixed Tag Team Championship which is something me and Bea have also done. But that’s where the similarity in the wrestling history for us ends. You have not obtained, then successfully defended, the Roulette Championship for six months as I did. Yes I finally lost the Roulette Championship but I lost it to a young man who has already proven he can overcome adversity and be a great Champion.

Bill against pauses to drink more water and clear his throat.

Bill:  I have been informed that your style of wrestling is a combination of Technical and speed while my style of wrestling is Technical and brawler. Since we are even on the Technical aspect of wrestling what that leaves us is your speed against my ability to destroy you. Remember there is a saying that goes that YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE! and that will come into play during our match. You may also think that your speed might allow you to get in and land blows on me and give you the speed to get away before I can retaliate. Oh, Lachlan, if I had a Dollar for every opponent who thought that, and I taught them they were wrong, I would have hundreds of Dollars.

Bill glares into the camera.

Bill:  Okay, Lachlan, what’s the bottom line of our match? Other than I’m winning and you’re losing I’d like to bring up a few items. There’s two terms that come into play in our match. One is REACTIVE and one is PROACTIVE. Being proactive means you plan ahead to ensure everything goes the way they are supposed to go. Being reactive means you wait until something happens and you try to counter it with your reaction to the situation. Here are a few examples. When driving if you are proactive you plan ahead so you know where you are going but if you’re reactive you just drive along thinking you know where you’re going then you get lost and waste time trying to find your way to your destination. If you are reactive you might see a swimming pool and run toward it and jump into the air to execute a dive only to find out the pool has no water in it. However if you are proactive you check the pool to ensure it has water in it before you take that dive. In the sport of wrestling if you’re reactive you spend the majority of your time on defense while your opponent beats the crap out of you with their offense. If you’re proactive you spend the majority of your time on offense beating the crap out of your opponent. I hope that was simple enough for your little pea brain to understand. HAR HAR HAR!!!

Bill takes time to get her laughter under control before continuing with his comments.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bill:  Oh, Kane, what else can I say that will ensure you understand you are about to get a hell of a hard beat down by me and you’re going to lose this match? I guess my words are either meaningless to you or you don’t give a damn what other people do or say or what they are capable of in the wrestling ring. If you haven’t figured out yet that this match is going to be your demise at my hands. It will be like a lightning strike hitting you. Just as with lightning, where you see the flash before it is several seconds before you hear the thunder, so my attacks on you will be. You won’t see my blows coming but you will feel them. Then, like with lightning, you won’t hear the sounds for several seconds. Then again if I knock you out you won’t hear anything for a time. I don’t care if you have a fan base larger than mine or that you think your fan base is larger than mine. I don’t care if you think your wrestling abilities are better than mine or you think your wrestling abilities are better than mine. I don’t give a damn about anything you think or do. I enjoy wrestling and I enjoy destroying opponents. My hope is that you, as my opponent, enjoy getting destroyed as much as I’ll enjoy destroying you. I sure hope you have a good time leading up to our match because after I leave you crumpled up on the mat, with my hand raised in victory, there will be no more good times for  you. I’ll enjoy beating you down so hard that you, Lachlan Kane, will be using the assistance of a cane to help you walk for weeks after our match.

Bill informs the Manager of the Broadcast Studio that he is done with his comments. They acknowledge this and the cut the camera feed and return to regularly scheduled programming.


150
Climax Control Archives / THE BOMBSHELL INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP WILL BE MINE
« on: July 28, 2022, 05:27:47 PM »
THE BOMBSHELL INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP WILL BE MINE

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart has put up with a lot of insults, false accusations, and stupidity, from the rest of the Roster. Now, at Climax Control 337, Bea is in a multi-wrestler match to determine who the next Bombshell Internet Champion will be. I don’t even need to mention this, but I will anyway, that Bea is leaving this match as the newly crowned Bombshell Internet Champion.

RECKLESS DRIVERS, STUPID PEOPLE, AND A KAREN ALSO

The scene changes to a video of incidents Bea Barnhart has had to endure recently. These incidents happened in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and the Network is presenting these videos to show you what Bea has to put up with all the time. We see Bea driving in her Hyundai Palisade to go shopping at Kroger and Wal-Mart near her home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We watch as Bea isn’t even out of their housing development when a reckless driver nearly hits her car. She flips off the ignorant driver then she continues to Herrington Road to go into Kroger. Again there is a reckless driver that cuts her off while she is trying to turn into a parking spot. Bea goes inside Kroger and shortly she exits Kroger so she can to go Wal-Mart to pick up some items that Kroger doesn’t have.

Bea:  So damn many reckless and inconsiderate drivers recently in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Reminds me of the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who are reckless, inconsiderate, and accusing.

Bea arrives at Wal-Mart where she parks and goes inside. The camera person follows her as she shops for the items she needs. As Bea goes to the self checkout lane the woman in front of her obviously doesn’t know what the hell she is doing. This reminds Bea of the majority of wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who also don’t know what the hell they’re doing. The woman at the register keeps inserting various credit cards and ATM cards and all of them are being declined. This is apparently due to her not having money in those accounts or, if she’s using an ATM card, she is entering the wrong PIN number.

Bea:  Excuse me! If you are having issues with your credit cards and ATM cards at the self checkout could you please take your items over to the regular checkout lanes to allow the Wal-Mart employees to properly process your purchases. I need you to move so I can get my purchases home and put away.

The Woman We Will Call Karen:  What? You don’t tell me what to do! You’re an Asian and I don’t take crap from Asians! What the hell do you know compared to a White woman like me?

Bea:  *yelling out loudly so everyone in the store can hear* News flash! We have a KAREN at Wal-Mart who is stupid on how to properly use the self-checkout machine and she’s also racist against Asians. Nice going Karen!

The Woman We Will Call Karen:  How do you know my name is Karen?

Bea:  Oh. . .just a lucky guess. . .Now either move your items to a regular checkout lane to get a Wal-Mart employee to help you check out or I’ll forcibly move you!

The woman, Karen, hails a Wal-Mart person who takes all her items to their register where they still can’t get the items paid for since this Karen has no money in all her financial accounts. Bea quickly scans her items then brushes past the Karen to leave the store and go home ensuring she flashes Karen a sarcastic grin of satisfaction her way out of the store. This infuriates Karen where she starts hurling insults and racist comments against Asians again to which Bea politely replies with a middle-finger salute. Bea gets to her Hyundai Palisade and take off to drive home.

Bea:  Too damn many ignorant, insulting, and racist, people in the world. Glad I was able to leave that Karen in Wal-Mart to deal with her stupidity. Damn! She’s probably so damn stupid that she forgets to wipe after she take a crap.

Bea arrives home and the camera person gets out of her car and they cut their camera feed.

AT THE HOTEL IN JAIPURI, INDIA

The scene shifts to the hotel in Jaipuri, India, where Bea and Bill are staying for Climax Control 337. The hotel is not far from the Sawai Mansingh Indoor Stadium where Bea will participate in a six wrestler match to determine who the next Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Internet Champion will be. Bill and Bea are sitting at a small dining table near the kitchen area. Bea has her laptop computer on and she and Bill are doing something but we don’t know what they are doing yet.

VIDEO CALL WITH IRIS

Bea:  Hi and welcome to our hotel room in Jaipuri, India. I’m getting ready to defeat five pathetic opponents to become the next Bombshell Internet Champion but first we’re going to have a video call with Iris to see how she’s doing with boarding at Camp Bow Wow. Although Iris is in boarding at Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, I made arrangements with the Manager, Edwin, to allow Iris to conduct a video call with us. There’s Iris on the computer video call now! HI IRIS!

Bill:  Hi Iris! How’s my baby girl?

Iris doesn’t appear happy to see Daddy Bill and Mommy Bea. This is probably due to her not liking having to be in boarding at Camp Bow Wow rather than being at their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Iris gives a grumpy look and sad eyes as she lets out a snort of complaint.

Bea:  I’m sorry we had to put you in Camp Bow Wow for boarding while we’re participating in wrestling events in India. We couldn’t risk you getting harmed on the trip so at least we know you’re safe and loved there at Camp Bow Wow.

Bill:  Come on Iris. Give a smile to Daddy.

Iris is grumpy, which is understandable, but when she turns her back to the camera and sulks it breaks the hearts of Bill and Bea.

Bill:  We’ll be home soon and then you’ll be back home in your own bedroom. Until then enjoy being spoiled by the staff at Camp Bow Wow.

Bea:  Iris you know the television show CHEERS where, that when Norm walks into the bar, everyone yells out NORM!!! right?  Remember, Iris, that every time you enter Camp Bow Wow all the Counselors in the room stand up and yell out IRIS!!! so that proves you’re loved. I know you miss us, and we miss you, but we can still give each other a virtual kiss since we’re on a video call. Come on Iris! Give Mommy and Daddy a kiss!

Iris turns around facing the camera and she licks the camera and the image we see on Bea’s laptop computer is totally blurred due to Iris slobbering on the camera.

Bea:  Thanks for the virtual kiss Iris! We love you! Bye!

Bea ends the video call with Iris. Bill leaves the table to go on the couch while Bea moves moves the laptop computer to the side of the table then she takes a position where the camera person can get a good shot of her as she comments on her upcoming match. Bill didn’t want to get in the way of Bea’s presentation for her match.

TIME TO ADDRESS MY OPPONENTS

Bea:  Now comes the time when I get to talk to my five opponents. We’re in a six wrestler match to determine who becomes the next Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Internet Champion. We all know that person will be me. But I guess I still have to explain that to my five opponents as I don’t believe their mental comprehension skills are working at higher than a moron level. To be fair to my opponents I’ll address them alphabetically, by their first name, so that nobody thinks they’re more special than the others because they were mentioned before the others were mentioned. Once again you’ll find me to be direct and honest in my comments.

Bea holds one finger up.

Bea:  Ariana I start with you because your first name starts with A. We have no history against each other in the ring. Both of us are coming into this match not having experience against the other. However before you get an attitude and think I’m easy to eliminate from this match let me tell you what you’re in for. The way to eliminate an opponent from the match is to toss them out of the ring where both their feet touch the floor. It will be easy to eliminate you as you will find out.

Bea holds two fingers up.

Bea:  Next I come to Kayla Richards. From what I’ve seen of you I’ve come to the conclusion that you are a pathetic piece of crap wrestler who has to resort to underhanded and sneaky attacks on other wrestlers to try to inflict damage on them. It seems extremely pathetic that you have to resort to that crap because you don’t have the wrestling abilities to back up what your mouth is saying. Don’t worry Kayla as I’ll eliminate you quickly in this match so you won’t have to endure the humiliation of the fans taunting you over your pathetic wrestling during the match. Of course for weeks after our match the fans will continue to taunt you for your pathetic performance in our match.

Bea holds three fingers up.

Bea:  Now to you Keira. I know you have a somewhat impressive record here in Sin City Wrestling. I also know that somehow you’ve managed to avoid having a match against me. I wonder how that happened Keira. Did you run to Management and tell them you are afraid to wrestle against me? Did you pay them bribe money to keep them from assigning you to a match with me? I don’t have the answers to those questions as only you can answer them. When you step into the ring at Climax Control 337 and I eliminate you then all your questions will be answered.

Bea holds four fingers up.

Bea:  Now I come to the only wrestler in our match that I have respect for and that is Seleana Zdunich. Seleana you may be asking yourself why I respect you and that’s a good question. The reason is that I’ve had three matches with you and you defeated me in two of those matches. In the third match you pinned someone else for the win in a multi-wrestler match. I admire your work in the ring. I admire what you’ve accomplished. Of my five opponents in our match you’re the one I want most to eliminate to prove I am what I claim I am. It is a pleasure and honor to face you again.

Bea holds five fingers up.

Bea:  Now I finish up talking to Tempest. You’re not last in my comments due to me thinking poorly of you so don’t go there. I stated up front that I was addressing my five opponents by where their first names land alphabetically. So, Tempest, we had one match, which was a Mixed Tag Team Championship match, and your team got the win when you pinned me. That was well over a year ago so if you think I’m the same wrestler I was back then you’re only deceiving yourself. I’ve come a long way and I have no problem tossing you out of the ring and ensuring both your feet touch the floor so you get eliminated.

Bea claps her hands then gives a stern look into the camera as she continues with her comments.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  Having five opponents in this match is interesting and fun. You simply cannot focus on just one wrestler while ignoring the others. If you do that you end up failing to eliminate the wrestler you are trying to eliminate but at the same time you can have someone come up and eliminate you. It’s an interesting situation where you have to be focused on the wrestler in front of you and the other wrestlers who are behind you or next to you. I’ve discussed this match with Bill and he’s been working with me to ensure I have great ring presence, that I don’t allow myself to be ganged up on by the other wrestlers, and that I quickly eliminate my opponents by sending them to the arena floor where both their feet touch the floor for the elimination.

Bea raises her arms into the air in a victory pose.

Bea:  I have every intention of winning this match and being crowned the Bombshell Internet Champion. I have five opponents who have the same intention so this match is going to be a combination of fast, furious, hard-hitting, aggressive, and punishing. The bottom line is who the last wrestler standing is in the ring when the other five wrestlers have been eliminated. That last wrestler standing in the ring will be ME so get used to calling me Bea Barnhart. . .Sin City Wrestling’s Bombshell Internet Champion!

Bea laughs loudly.

Bea:  With six wrestlers involved in our match that gives each wrestler a 16.6 percent chance of winning. When one is eliminated and I’m left with four opponents each of us then has a 20 percent chance of winning. When me and three others wrestlers are remaining that gives each of us a 25 percent chance of winning. Then when it comes down to me and two other wrestlers we each have a 33.3 percent chance of winning. And then, when it comes down to me and one other wrestler we each have a 50 percent chance of winning the match. Ha ha ha!!! Who are they kidding? If my five opponents feel they have anywhere from 16.6 percent to 50 percent chance of winning they are deceived. From the instant the Timekeeper rings the bell to officially start our match I have 100 percent chance of winning!

Bea gain bursts out in loud laughter.

Bea:  I feel it is great that the other opponnets in my match are taking me lightly. After I win the Internet Championship they will all be taking me seriously and demanding a shot at my Internet Championship!

Bea tells the camera person she is done with her comments and they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


151
Climax Control Archives / ALEXANDER YOUR PAYMENT IS DUE
« on: July 20, 2022, 09:17:55 AM »
PAYMENT IS DUE

Narrator:  I had a discussion with Bill Barnhart before coming on the air to present opening comments to you. Bill is fired up being in the Main Event against Alexander Raven for another chance to become a two-time Roulette Champion. Bill told me he has several items to talk about before talking to directly to Alexander Raven so let’s get this party started!

PROTECTING IRIS

The scene opens in Bill’s hotel room located near the Sandar Vallabhbhai Patel Indoor Stadium in Mumbai, India. We do not see Bea or Iris which makes us wonder where they might be but we’re sure Bill will let us know. Bill is sitting on the couch and when the camera person gives him the signal that they are live broadcasting Bill launches into his comments.

Bill:  I have several comments to get out of the way before I inform Alexander Raven why he’s losing the Roulette Championship to me and I walk away as a two-time Roulette Champion at Climax Control 336.

Bill holds one finger up.

Bill:  The first item is why Iris is not with us on this trip to India for this tour. I heard that the people in India, like those of Korea, consider dog to be a delicacy. Since Iris is plump I felt it wouldn’t be right to risk her life bringing her on this trip to India. Iris remained in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and she is boarding at Camp Bow Wow there. Iris will miss her Daddy and Mommy but she has to realize her safety is more important than her traveling with us on this tour.

NO SPEEDO

Bill holds two fingers up.

Bill:  The second item is that even though my two recent Speedo incidents brought enjoyment and thrills to the fans Management has decided not to put me on the billing at Bill “Speedo” Barnhart. They said they will only use Bill “BULLDOG” Barnhart. Nothing like a wrestler having a bit of fun, thrilling the crowd, and making the other wrestlers jealous. But since Management controls the Federation I respect their decision and move on.

BEA AS MY MANAGER

Bill holds three fingers up.

Bill:  My third item to discuss is Bea. Bea is on this tour with me but she is currently taking a nap in the other room as the flight was long and she wanted to rest. We are both going to miss Iris but we will be fine and so will Iris. Bea asked me to let you know that she will be at ringside during the Main Event as she is my Manager. She said for me to remind everyone that she no longer carries a spray bottle of perfume with her when she is serving as my Manager. Bea also said she hopes the Roulette Wheel will stop on a type of Roulette Rules match that allows both Alexander Raven and me to go all out, fully within the rules, and the winner, me of course, doesn’t have their win tainted by controversy.

SHORT BREAK

Bill informs the camera person he will take a very short break to get something to drink. When Bill returns from his drink break he again sits down on the couch to continue with his comments.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ALEXANDER RAVEN

Bill:  Well, Alexander, I now turn my comments to you. Most likely you won’t like what I have to say but I don’t give a damn what you like or don’t like as I’m here to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, regardless of whether you like what I have to say or not.

Bill grins.

Bill:  Raven you have to admit, and you cannot deny it as you’ve stated it many times yourself, that your record in wrestling isn’t stellar. . .it isn’t great. . .and it can barely be classified as good. You’ve admitted numerous times that you were the cause of your failures in the wrestling ring. I will give you credit that recently you managed to stay focused on your matches and end up with a few wins and you were successful at Summer XXXTreme X at defending the Roulette Championship. But we know how you are Alexander. You end up with a few wins and you forget all those losses you took, all those failures you endured, and your ego gets bigger than what you are able to back up. I can’t wait to watch you self-destruct during our match.

Bill presents an even larger grin than before.

Bill:  So, Raven, how do you really feel about us being in the Main Event for Climax Control 336? I feel outstanding knowing that we’re in the Main Event due to me being in this match. Management knows who the real money draws are and when they look at me they see huge dollar signs flashing in their eyes. No, Alexander, I don’t take you lightly as I know you can get the job done if you knew how to properly apply yourself. I would never take the chance of taking  you lightly and then you have that moment where you happen to actually perform well in a match and I let the match slip away. That’s damn sure not going to happen in our match at Climax Control 336.

WHAT THIS MATCH COMES DOWN TO

Bill:  So, Raven, what do I feel this match comes down to? It comes down to where the Roulette Wheel stops to determine what type of match rules. . .or no rules at all. . .that we will have for our match. I personally hope the Roulette Wheel will land on NO RULES or ANYTHING GOES so that the winner of our match. . .me of course. . .walks away from the match with the fans talking about my performance for months for months. However, Raven, no matter where the Roulette Wheel lands I have the advantage. You have to understand that this is not a four wrestler Ultimate X Over The Pool match like we had at Summer XXXTreme X. That type of match, although demanding and fun, doesn’t get the point across as does a one-on-one match like we are having at Climax Control 336. It is way easier to get a wrestler to lose their grip on the scaffolding and drop into the pool than to be in the ring and have to totally earn the win.

PAYMENT IS DUE

Bill:  Alexander I’ll end my comments by stating that PAYMENT IS DUE. What I mean by that is I feel you squeaked by in your match where you regained the Roulette Championship and then you again squeaked by in the Ultimate X Over The Pool match at Summer XXXTreme X. Unless you are a mouse your squeaking has ended and you’re going to lose to me at Climax Control 336. I have come to collect your payment which is overdue. That payment consists of the Roulette Championship which rightfully belongs to me. When the Timekeeper rings the bell to officially start our match your ass is mine. You can run but you will not be able to hide from me. You can yell and scream and hurl threats at me but your screams and threats are useless against me The bottom line is that the instant the bell rings I will be on you in a flash and I’m not going to let up on you until the bell rings again to end our match and I am officially announced as the winner and a two-time Roulette Champion. That’s the payment that is due from you Alexander. PAY UP THEN SHUT UP!!!

We can tell Bill is about to close his presentation but he returns to gazing into the camera.

Bill:  Raven I’m sure you are familiar with George Thorogood’s song titled BAD TO THE BONE. Let me have the studio play the official music video for you.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE MUSIC VIDEO

The video is finished playing and we return to a shot of Bill Barnhart.

Bill:  Well, Alexander, I’m the wrestler who is bad to the bone. I’m the person George Thorogood had in mind when he wrote that song. When you step into the ring with me at Climax Control 336 you need to realize you’re stepping into the ring with one of the baddest mother *bleep*ers on the planet! I promise when our match is over you will hold an interview and when they ask you why you lost the match and the Roulette Championship to me your only response will be BECAUSE BILL BARNHART IS BAD TO THE BONE!

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments for today. The camera person calls into the Network to inform them and they tell the camera person to cut their camera feed and they do and our screen goes dark.


152
Supercard Archives / Re: ALEXANDER (c) v WHELAN v BULLDOG v MILES - ULTIMATE X ROULETTE TITLE
« on: July 06, 2022, 08:48:07 AM »
I WILL BECOME A TWO-TIME ROULETTE CHAMPION

Bea is finished with her comments and she steps out of camera range to allow Bill go get on camera to present his comments for his match at Summer XXXTreme X.

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is confident he will win the Ultimate X Over The Pool Roulette Championship match to become a two-time Roulette Champion.

Bill:  Hi and welcome to our cabin on the Sun Princess cruise ship. Nice to be able to enjoy a cabin on a cruise ship as a change from the normal dressing room accommodations we usually get at wrestling events. Bea had some nice comments for Samantha Marlowe and now I’ll present comments concerning the Ultimate X Over The Pool Roulette Championship which is the match to open Summer XXXTreme X. To be fair to my opponents, so nobody feels I’m playing favorites or disrespecting someone, I’ll mention my opponents in the order they are listed on the card for our match.

Bill clears his throat then starts his comments.

Bill:  Alexander Raven you’re first on my comments. I commend you on your win to earn the Roulette Championship. However before you get a huge ego and think you can repeat that performance to retain the Roulette Championship let me enlighten you. You’re the target of all the wrestlers in our match as you hold possession of the Roulette Championship. Your handicap, if you want to call it that, is that you tend to have memory lapses and make mistakes in matches. Once you hesitate in our match you’ll get eliminated. It really is that simple to understand.

Bill looks over at Bea and she gives him a thumbs up on his comments to Alexander Raven.

Bill:  Next in line is Finn Whelan. Now, Finn, I cannot deny that you managed to win the Roulette Championship but you also managed to quickly lose it. Nothing like having slippery hands eh! You do have nice abilities in the sport of wrestling but your mental awareness, to remain focused at all times, is where you lack. If you take your focus off anything during our match I will take the advantage and you will be eliminated.

Bill chuckles

Bill:  Finally I come to Miles Kasey. I’ll be honest with you Miles. Compared to Alexander and Finn you actually come across looking fairly good. Not a good as me. . .but still fairly good compared to Raven and Whelan. I’m not sure what your game plan is for our match but I damn sure know what my game plan is. No matter what the three of you think or feel or try during the match I plan on winning the match and becoming a two-time Roulette Champion.

Bill glances over at Bea again and this time she gives him two thumbs up

WHAT THIS MATCH COMES DOWN TO

Bill:  Are you three asking yourselves what this match comes down to and are you asking yourselves what it will take to win this match? Probably not. I always think and plan ahead on all my matches. I’ve been in the sport of wrestling a long time and there’s things I know and understand that I don’t believe you three will ever know and understand. The key element in an Ultimate X Over The Pool Roulette match is simple. You are not in the match to pin your opponents. You are not in the match to make your opponents submit. You are not in the match to knock them out with a submission hold. The only way to win is to eliminate your opponents is to knock them off the X over the pool and cause them to drop into the pool causing them to be eliminated from the match. Even though I just told you three everything you need to know about this match I’m positive the three of you will figure out a way to f*ck it up and lose. Oh well. Shit happens. I win. . .you three lose. . .deal with it!

Bill is done with his comments. He looks at Bea and the two of them turn and take off down the passageway to get to their cabin.


153
Supercard Archives / Re: BEA BARNHART v SAMANTHA MARLOWE
« on: July 06, 2022, 08:44:51 AM »
SAM YOU WILL BE UPSET WHEN YOU LOSE TO ME

Narrator:  Bea told me how much fun she is going to have destroying Samantha Marlowe and putting her in her place. This is going to be an epic match for Bea Barnhart.

ARRIVAL AT THE SUN PRINCESS CRUISE SHIP

We see Bill and Bea Barnhart when they arrived at the Sun Princess cruise ship and boarded. They are minus Iris, their English Bulldog, as she is at Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, while Bill and Bea are on the cruise ship. Bill and Bea make their way to their cabin. When they walk in we can see the satisfaction on their faces at what they have been assigned. They have a room that is not too large, nor too small, and they have an outside view although the view looks across the deck where people walk. The two place their bags to the side and then there is a knock on the door of their room. When they open the door they are introduced to a camera person who has been assigned to air their comments. They tell Bill and Bea that they will start by airing Bea’s comments then continue with comments from Bill. With that information Bill moves out of camera view so that Bea has full coverage without him being in the camera view.

TALKING SHIT

Bea:  There’s several meanings for the term TALKING SHIT and I shall explain them to you. The meaning most commonly referred to is when someone talks smack but they have quality to back up their smack talk. In my case I do smack talk but I back up my smack talk with facts and other information to where there is no doubt, from anyone listening to my comments, that I tell the truth. Sam, on the other hand, is the epitome of the type of smack talk that is where the person talks nonsense and lies and they stutter so much they sound like the singer Mel Tillis trying to say a few words coherently. I said this was going to happen and it is happening. I said she was going to fall apart and implode when she realized what she got herself into demanding this match against me. Now Sam has nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. Damn shame eh?

Bea laughs loudly.

Bea:  Have any of you watching had the pleasure of seeing the results of you telling the truth to others and having them stutter, stammer, and choke on their words, trying to say something intelligent and logical but failing miserably? If you haven’t had that pleasure in person then at least watch the comments Samantha makes and enjoy a hearty laugh at her expense.

Bea laughs loudly again.

Bea:  Sam your comments so far leading up to our match at Summer XXXTreme X are not just hilarious. . .they are pathetic. When you tried to talk shit you failed. Instead of presenting pertinent, logical, and intelligent, comments you ended up stuttering and stammering and tripping over your words. You came across as saying LEFT when you meant RIGHT and DOWN when you meant UP and, unfortunately for you anyway, all that did was make your words stink worse than shit. When I heard what you were saying on camera I honestly felt the need to don a gas mask to keep the stench of your words from causing me to puke. I felt that someone of your abilities in the wrestling ring, and with several Championships attached to your name, that you could have done better. But, alas, I have that effect on others. I have the effect of causing opponents to try to talk but they can only babble and drool down their chin. Sure has to suck being you Sam. That’s all I have to say. The rest of my actions will take place during our match.

Bea is finished with her comments and she steps out of camera range to allow Bill go get on camera to present his comments for his match at Summer XXXTreme X.


154
Supercard Archives / Re: ALEXANDER (c) v WHELAN v BULLDOG v MILES - ULTIMATE X ROULETTE TITLE
« on: July 01, 2022, 10:39:44 AM »
I WILL BECOME ROULETTE CHAMPION AGAIN

Narrator:  The time has come for Summer XXXTreme X where Bill Barnhart, along with Alexander Raven who became Roulette Champion at Climax Control 335, Finn Whelan who lost the Roulette Championship to Alexander Raven, and Miles Kasey, to face off in the Ultimate X of the Pool match to determine who will exit Summer XXXTreme X as Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion.

SORRY IRIS

The scene comes on our screen and we notice we’re at the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, located in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Bill and Bea are having a conversation with Iris.

Bill:  I’m sorry Iris but I can’t bring you to Summer XXXTreme X on the Sun Princess Cruise Ship. They don’t allow pets so you have to stay here in Lawrenceville, Georgia, at Camp Bow Wow, until we return from Summer XXXTreme X.

The ears of Iris flutter when she hears the name of Camp Bow Wow.

Bea:  Iris you know Matt the Owner of Camp Bow Wow. You also love seeing the Manager, Edwin, and his assistants Allison and Jordan, as you’ve known them for two years now. You’ll be fine.

Iris is still sad that she can’t go to Summer XXXTreme with them but she perks up when she hears the name of Camp Bow Wow and the names of Matt, Edwin, Allison, and Jordan. When Iris leaves the room she seems to be happy and we think we see a smile on her face.

SUMMER XXXTREME ULTIMATE X ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Bill:  Bea you know I’m in the Roulette Championship match, in an Ultimate X over the Pool match, and I’m facing Alexander Raven, Miles Kasey, and Finn Whelan. This should be an interesting match because Finn lost the Roulette Championship to Alexander Raven at Climax Control 335. That means Whelan wants to get the Roulette Championship back but I also know that since Alexander Raven holds the Roulette Championship that he’s not planning on letting it go out of his possession any time soon.

Bea:  Why don’t you run down for the viewers your in-ring history with Finn, Miles, and Alexander. It’s always nice to know the background going into an event.

Bill:  I’ve already made a list to discuss those items.

Bill pulls out a sheet of paper. He shakes the paper in front of him then he begins reading from it.

Bill:  I’ll keep it simple. I don’t need to mention specific events and dates but I’ll give the short version of my history with Finn, Alexander, and Miles. I’m 0-2-1 against Finn Whelan. Against Alexander Raven I’m 2-0-0. Then against Miles Kasey I’m 1-0-0. With that record against these guys, and the fact that Finn is not the defending Roulette Champion at Summer XXXTreme X, the odds are in my favor.

Bea:  Tell the viewers why you state the odds are in your favor.

Bill:  There are four wrestlers in our match. The way to eliminate them is to knock them off the X that is over the pool causing them to fall into the pool. Since I’ve been in matches like this before, and with Finn being overly-focused on regaining the Roulette Championship from Alexander Raven, that means I’m the only wrestler not distracted by the others. Game on! I win!

WHAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE?

Bill:  I want to get things straight so nobody gets confused. This Ultimate X Over The Pool match for the Roulette Championship is an amazing type of match. It is a match that fits my wrestling style and mental attitude and I’ll walk away as the winner. Do you need to pin your opponent to win? Nope! Do you need to make your opponent submit to win? Nope! You battle it out with your opponents on top of the X set up over the pool. The only way to eliminate someone from the match is to knock them off the X and they drop into the pool. This match is a perfect fit for me. This match puts me in charge of this match. My wrestling style and abilities work in my favor in a match like this. And you want to know what the best part of this match is for me?

Bea:  Sure!

Bill:  My three opponents don’t have what it takes to hang with me in this type of match. They’re not focusing on what it takes to win. They’re like most wrestlers who get assigned to an Ultimate X Over The Pool match. They spend too much time trying hard to prevent the others from eliminating them when they should be going all-out from the bell to aggressively eliminate the other wrestlers in this match.

Bea:  Great point Bill.

Bill:  The key to all wrestling matches, especially with a multi-wrestler match, is to be aware of everything going on around you. My upcoming opponents don’t have the mental ability to realize what is going on every moment of the match and at every turn. The instant they turn their back to me to go after someone else I’ll take them out and be closer to becoming a two-time Roulette Champion. You three can talk all the smack you want but there’s a requirement for doing that. If you talk smack you damn sure better be able to back it up. I know you three can talk shit but that’s all your talk is. . .shit. . .and I’ll take the advantage and walk away the winner of the match and the newly crowned Roulette Champion. Don’t believe me? You’ll believe me at Summer XXXTreme X.

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments for today. The camera person calls into the Network and the Network returns to regularly scheduled programming.


155
Supercard Archives / Re: BEA BARNHART v SAMANTHA MARLOWE
« on: July 01, 2022, 10:38:09 AM »
SO, SAM, YOU’RE STILL UPSET WITH ME?

Narrator:  Bea is tired of hearing the lame accusations from the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling. They have been falsely accusing her and issuing threats and Bea told me she’s had enough. I turn you over to Bea Barnhart at her home in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

SAM IS STILL UPSET WITH ME? I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT SAM THINKS!

We open at the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. They will travel to board the Sun Princess Cruise Ship next week. The camera gets a shot of Bea who is sitting in a chair in her living room. Bea gives a stern look into the camera and launches into her comments on her upcoming match against Samantha Marlowe at Summer XXXTreme X.

Bea:  So, Sam, you’re still upset at nothing? All you do is wah wah wah about non-existent stuff! Your obsession with me is destroying you! Chasing imaginary things, believing those imaginary things are real, only leads to your insanity and your demise. You’re a pathetic piece of shit and everyone knows it! You, and most others on the Roster, continue to claim I did something I didn’t do. You continue to blame me for something I didn’t do. Straight up you’re all liars and you’re trying to focus everyone’s attention on me to take the negative attention off of you all. Nice try but that bullshit isn’t working! Well it does appear to be working on others who are dumber than you and that’s why they believe your lies. However people who have logically working brains see through the bullshit from you and the other wrestlers as you try to get the focus off yourselves and onto me! Truth always wins over lies.

Bea snaps her fingers into the camera then presents a sinister grin.

Bea: Sam. . .one by one you and other wrestlers come at me, and try to make everyone believe your lies and ignore my truths, but you all have been failing. Little by little your fan support, and support from your fellow wrestlers, is draining away. Nobody buys into your bullshit any longer. You demanded this match against me and now you got it. You know the saying goes that you need to be careful what you ask for because you might just get it. Well, Sam, you didn’t take note of that saying so you kept demanding another match with me and now you got it! When you step into the ring with me you’re gonna get it! When I destroy you in our match don’t  cry, whine, bitch, moan, complain, and claim I did something that I never did, because if you do that crap again I’ll come after you and haunt your every remaining minute left on this planet!

THINGS ARE GONNA GET UGLY

Bea pauses her comments when Iris, her and Bill’s English Bulldog, walks into camera view.

Bea:  Iris how did you get into the room? I thought Daddy Bill had you secure in the other room. Oh well now that you’re here I might as well use you as an example concerning Samantha Marlowe. So, Sam, Samantha, Sammy, Shithead, whatever, how do you feel knowing this match is your downfall and your demise? How would you feel if people were lying about you and publicly claiming you did something you never did? You wouldn’t like it I assure you! I’m not going to continue to comment on lies and the fairy tale stories you, and others, have made up and continue to spread the lies. This match we have is not a fairy tale. This match we have is not a tea party. This match we have is not a game of Chutes and Ladders. This match we have is not a dance contest. Our match is a grudge match that YOU asked for, YOU demanded, YOU wanted, and now you’ve got it! The problem for you, Sam, is you thought your lies about me would make me get distracted and screw up. Wrong! The lies you spread about me made me upset and out to deliver revenge against you. As I’ve said before I’ll have no mercy on you, no compassion on you, and I don’t care how much you beg me to stop beating the crap out of you, I’m not backing off on you in our match! Trust me that what happens to you will five the term THINGS ARE GETTING DOG UGLY a new meaning.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea orders Iris to return to the other room and Iris does as she is told. Bea returns her focus to the camera to continue with her comments.

Bea:  You know my entrance music is HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT and I challenge you to bring all your best shots to our match. Hit me with your best stuff. Try hard to take me out. Just as lightning can strike without warning your attacks on me will be deflected and my strikes on you will be lightning fast. I’m sick of your lies. I’m sick of your obsession with me. I’m sick of those who support you. I plan on beating you down so hard that when you recover hours later and they tell you what I did to you in our match to defeat you then you’ll become a believer in Bea Barnhart. I can’t state things any clearer than I already have except to tell you that in our match my actions will speak louder than my words. Enjoy your time leading up to Summer XXXTreme X because after I beat you down and defeat you in our match there’s not going to be much enjoyment left in your life!

Bea motions into the camera with a CUT sign and the camera person cuts their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


156
Climax Control Archives / ROXI IS ON THE ROCKS
« on: June 23, 2022, 04:12:04 PM »
ROXI IS ON THE ROCKS

Narrator:  I had a conversation with Bea concerning her upcoming match against Roxi Johnson at Climax Control 335. Bea told me she’s sick of all the jerks in Sin City Wrestling accusing her of doing something she didn’t do. Roxi Johnson happens to be one of those jerks and Bea told me she has this war to win and when it is done she will be the one person left standing.

The scene opens and we get a shot of Bea Barnhart in her hotel room which is located near the Equidome Arena in Scottsdale, Arizona. The camera pans around and we see she has obtained very nice accommodations for this event. As the camera pans around some more we get a shot of Bill Barnhart and their English Bulldog Iris then the camera returns to focus on Bea.

ROXI ON THE ROCKS

Bea:  ON THE ROCKS  What does on the rocks mean and who is on the rocks? The official definition of ON THE ROCKS is that of someone experiencing difficulties and likely to fail. Another definition of ON THE ROCKS would be a ship that went off course and became grounded when it hit rocks and now they are stranded and unable to move away from the danger. Well, by golly gee, Roxi, that’s fits you perfectly. I guess you haven’t had enough ass kickings placed on you that you now have to suffer one from me. And don’t try looking past me to look at Masque because she’s the lease of your concerns at this time. You and most of the other jerks in Sin City Wrestling continue to falsely accuse me of doing something I didn’t do. I’m sick of the bullshit and the lies and the false accusations! At Climax Control 335 I’m going to destroy you so that you won’t be in shape to meet your match commitment against Masque. When that happens you need thank me for putting you out of action so that you don’t have to experience a major loss before possibly being able to face Masque. We don’t have any history between us but there’s going to be a hell of a lot of talk going around when I pound you into obscurity.

WHAT I BRING TO OUR MATCH

Bea:  Roxi you are probably asking yourself what I plan on bringing to the ring for our match. No, you friggin’ dipshit, I’m not bringing a plastic bottle of perfume as I’ve already told the world I leave that item in my hotel room or dressing room. What I bring to our match is a hatred of over-the-hill, washed up, pathetic, lying, moronic jerks like you and the rest of the roster in Sin City Wrestling. I bring me skills to the ring and I’ll defeat you with my skills and intelligence. Unless you hire interference there’s no way you’re going to defeat me. We shall see what cowardly deeds you are willing to do to get a cheap win over me. By the term WE I mean not only myself, but also the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling and the fans. When they see what a coward you are they will turn their backs to you while they are worshipping me as their new goddess of wrestling.

WHAT? YOU THINK YOUR SHIT DON’T STINK?

Bea:  So, Roxi, are you going to do what you always do leading up to a match? Stuff like bragging as if you are the greatest wrestler ever to step into a wrestling ring? Bragging that you cannot be defeated in a wrestling match even though you have been defeated many times? Making false claims about your opponent? Hurling Elementary level insults at me? You can say whatever the hell your tiny little pea brain tells you to say but in the end your pea brain will hear the official announcement of the decision in our match as me, Bea Barnhart, is the winner over you. Now, Roxi, before you step in front of a camera and claim that your shit don’t stink let me tell you what I hear backstage. I hear that when you take a dump the other wrestlers have to don gas masks to prevent themselves from passing out from the stench. Maybe you could use a bit of perfume. Oops! I uttered the P word! Guess I’m going to Hell for uttering that word since you, and all the others on the Roster, continue to falsely accuse me of stuff I didn’t do. Well, Roxi, after our match there is one thing you can accuse me of and it will be the truth you speak. When I defeat you and you admit to the world that I defeated you then you will have finally shunned the lies and have decided to tell the truth.

CONVERSATION WITH BILL

Bea motions to Bill to come into camera view. Bill walks over to where Bea is located and Iris trails along behind him.

Bill:  This is totally unscripted Bea. You didn’t tell me you were going to ask me for comments during your air time.

Bea:  I like surprising you Bill.

Bill:  Okay. What’s on your mind?

Bea:  Why didn’t you tell me you were planning on wearing a Speedo for your Roulette Championship Qualifier match against Agostino Romano?

Bill:  Because it was a last moment decision. I just went with what came to my mind. It didn’t change the outcome of the match as I was going to win anyway.

Bea:  Okay. Now would you please tell the viewers what you have been doing when it comes to my training in the ring?

Bill:  Bea asked me to train her harder than I used to do previously. I asked her if she was truly serious about that request and she assured me that she  is serious. For several weeks we have gone to a training facility and I have been sending sparring partners against her and I’ve told them they are not to hold back. Bea managed to take them out which means she has improved a lot. But I got the idea to have her take me on in a sparring match. She agreed and I stepped into the ring and made sure she understood that I wasn’t holding back. Bea took some hard hits and falls but she kept getting up and going after me aggressively. In the end I was proud of Bea’s improvement in the ring and I know she can defeat Roxi Johnson at Climax Control 335.

Bea:  Thank you Bill. I appreciate your kind words and your comments on our training.

Bill:  Is that all you have for me? Me and Iris were about to get into a pizza eating contest and you know I want to slam dunk her and win the pizza eating contest.

Bea:  I have one more question for you before you and Iris pig out on pizza. In the match at Climax Control 335 there is a Roulette Championship match with Finn Whelan putting the Roulette Championship on the line against Alexander Raven. Management decided to spice up that match by having Miles Kasey in Finn’s corner and you in Alexander Raven’s corner. Why do you think they did that and what are your plans for being in Raven’s corner?

Bill:  I’ll admit it was a surprise to me when the Card was officially announced. I don’t know why this match got scheduled the way it did but I’ll just state something concerning the match set-up. It is a Roulette Rules Match and all four of us want possession of the Roulette Championship. So what’s going to happen in this match leading up to Summer XXXTreme X? You’ll have to watch the match on Sunday, June 26, 2022, to find out what happens. Now can I please go off and have my pizza eating contest Iris?

Bea:  Yea you can go play with Iris and have your pizza eating contest.

Bill quickly walks out of camera view to take up the pizza eating contest against Iris. The camera follows him until he enters the other room then the camera returns to focus on Bea.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  Roxi I want you to be ready for anything and everything from me as I’m coming at you and my goal is to destroy you. Take me for granted if you want to, See you in the ring Sunday.

Bea informs the camera person she is done with her comments and they call into the Network and the Network cuts back to regularly scheduled programming.


157
Climax Control Archives / AGOSTINO ROMANO...AGAIN?
« on: June 16, 2022, 07:26:29 PM »
AGOSTINO ROMANO AGAIN?

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is ready to destroy Agostino Romano and advance to Summer XXXTreme X to challenge for, and regain, the Roulette Championship.

We are at the home of Bill Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He is sitting on his couch with his English Bulldog Iris. Bill is casually dressed in blue jeans and a yellow tee shirt.

HISTORY BETWEEN BILL BARNHART AND AGOSTINO ROMANO

Bill:  Hi and welcome  to my home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We came home after Climax Control 333 as we wanted to get a few things done around the house before traveling to Tucson, Arizona, for Climax Control 334. At this upcoming event I face off against Agostino Romano, the professional Jobber of Sin City Wrestling, where the winner of the match. . .ME of course. . .will advance to Summer XXXTreme X to challenge for, and regain, the Roulette Championship.

Bill pulls out a sheet of paper and discusses what is on the paper.

Bill:  Agostino we’ve had two matches together. One was at Climax Control 289 on January 10, 2021. It was a Fatal Four Way. The way to win was to slam your opponent through a table. Do you remember who got slammed through the table Agostino? I remember. It was YOU who Lincoln Daniels slammed through the table. It wasn’t me or the other opponent in the match. Now that sums up how your wrestling career has been going. The second match we’ve had against each other was at Climax Control 308 on August 15, 2021. I imagine, since you also lost that match, that you tend to try to forget the details of that match. It was in the Internet Championship Tournament and I defeated you to advance in the Tournament while you crawled back to your dressing room where you placed a lamp shade over your head and stood in the corner hoping nobody would recognize you. What the hell is your middle name Agostino? PATHETIC?

Bill bursts out in laughter then he regains his composure to continue his comments.

HOW TOUGH IS BILL BARNHART?

Bill:  I would like to relate an incident I had when I lived in California and it involved motorcycles. Here’s the story Romano. I was traveling from San Bernardino, California, to Laughlin, Nevada, so I could visit the casinos and relax. Half way to Laughlin I stopped at the town of Daggett, California, to take a break and use the restroom. There was only a small beer joint so I had no other options where to stop. The parking lot was very small and I had to squeeze my car between parked cars and a row of motorcycles that looked as if a motorcycle gang was at the bar. I tried opening my car door slowly but I still managed to bump the motorcycle nearest to me. Yes I managed to tip the motorcycle over and it went down the row of bikes like a line of dominos crashing to the ground. I didn’t  have long to wait until the motorcycle gang members came out, saw their bikes on the ground, then they confronted me. I warned them that I’m a professional wrestler and will take them all out but they thought I was bullshitting them. Before they could attack me the leader of the motorcycle game came out. He told his members if they wanted to give it a go against me they could. One by one they charged me and one by one I took them all out. Now with a line of motorcycles and a pile of his gang members on the ground the leader of the motorcycle gang approached me. He commended me on my fighting ability then he asked my name and I told him Bill Barnhart. His eyes widened and he said he is a follower of mine in the sport of wrestling but that he didn’t recognize me as I was dressed in semi-formal clothing instead of my wrestling attire. He shook my hand and invited me into the bar for a drink while telling his gang members to pick up their bikes and remain outside while we went inside for a few drinks. I asked him if he would like me to pay for the damage to their bikes and he laughed and said that isn’t necessary. The man’s name is Ray Hill and he remains my friend to this day.

Bill smiles into the camera and gives a thumbs up.

Bill:  Why did I tell you that story Agostino? Because it shows you many things about me. It shows you I can take out an entire motorcycle gang without getting a scratch. Because it shows you that when you’re honest as I am you can get things accomplished and people respect you. So, Agostino, feel free to bring your pathetic Moped riding ass to Tucson where I’ll entertain and amaze the fans at the Tucson Convention Center when I defeat you so quickly that if the fans blink they’ll miss the action.

Bill stands up from the couch and goes to a dresser near the couch and he pulls out what looks like an outfit a College Professor would wear. He puts on the outfit then stands in front of the camera and we’re wondering what he will do.

WELCOME TO THE BILL BARNHART SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS

Bill:  Hi. Glad you could make it to the Bill Barnhart School of Hard Knocks. I’m Professor Bill Barnhart and I’m going to school you big time. Agostino you’ve been assigned against me at Climax Control 334. You’re not classified as a Challenger. . .you’re classified as a Sacrifice to me. But don’t worry Romano because even though you enter the Bill Barnhart School of Hard Knocks and you’ll be destroyed I’ll still present a Diploma of Graduation to you with complimentary knots on your head for allowing me to school you. And remember something Agostino. We’re in this match under Roulette Rules. There’s nothing the Roulette Wheel could land on that would intimidate me, scare me, or make me turn and walk away from our match. NOTHING!!!

Bill roars with laughter then he controls the laughter and returns to his comments.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  For everyone’s information when I demolish Agostino Romano and go into Summer XXXTreme X to challenge for the Roulette Championship I’m not there to play games and make the other wrestlers look good. I’m entering that match to destroy them and regain the Roulette Championship. If you felt I was tough to defeat the first time I was Roulette Champion you need to know I’ll be ten times harder to defeat this second time as Roulette Champion. See you all at Climax Control 334.

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments for today and they call into the Network and the Network switches back to regularly scheduled programming.


158
Climax Control Archives / TRUTH HURTS WHEN YOU BELIEVE LIES
« on: June 03, 2022, 08:15:38 AM »
TRUTH HURTS WHEN YOU BELIEVE LIES

Narrator:  The saying goes that the truth hurts when you believe the lies. Since Samantha Marlowe ran her mouth, claiming Bea Barnhart did something illegal during Senor Vinnie’s match against Fenris, she now finds herself on the opposite side of the ring from Bea Barnhart. That’s a place Sam doesn’t want to be. She will find that out on Sunday, June 5, 2022.

EARLIER IN THE DAY

We are taken to the hotel room where Bill and Bea Barnhart are staying while Bea is assigned to a match against Samantha Marlowe at Climax Control 332. There is an assigned camera person in their hotel room to broadcast what they are doing leading up to Bea’s match. We watch as Bill calls Iris, their English Bulldog, so they can go into the other room to watch Animal Planet as Iris enjoys watching animal programs. After they leave the living room area Bea remains in the living room putting items away. Bea gets a look on her face and she smiles.

Bea:  Iris! Could you please come here for a moment? I need to ask you something. There’s a doggy treat involved if you participate in the question and answer thing with me.

Iris is never one to hesitate when food is involved. Iris waddles into the living room area and when Bea tells Iris to sit Iris sits down waiting for what Mommy Bea has in store for her. . .especially the doggy treat.

Bea:  Iris I’m going to ask you one question. When you’re done answering the question I’ll give you a doggy treat.

Iris perks up when the words doggy treat are spoken.

Bea:  Iris I want your honest opinion on something. Please tell the viewers what you think about Samantha Marlowe.

Iris stands up from her sitting position then she walks across the living room area to where Bill and Bea have placed a potty pad so when she has to potty she’ll use the pad so there is an easy clean up. Iris walks over and sniffs the potty pad then she turns around once, squats, and drops a load of poop on the potty pad. Iris then walks up to Mommy Bea and receives her doggy treat then we watch as Iris returns to the other room to watch Animal Planet with Daddy Bill.

Bea:  Oh. . .My. . .Goodness! I was expecting Iris to grunt or grown or growl at the name of Samantha Marlow but what she ended up doing was giving her honest opinion of what she thinks about Sam. I would bust out in uncontrollable laughter but that wouldn’t be right eh? Oh to hell with being politically correct! The response Iris gave of her opinion of Sam Marlowe was priceless. HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!!

The scene slowly fades to black while Bea is laughing hard.

TRUTH VERSUS LIES

We are in a room which is the area assigned to Bea as her dressing room at the Walter Pyramid where Climax Control 332 is taking place. Bea is dressed in her trademark blue dress she normally wears when serving as Manager for Bill Barnhart and Senor Vinnie. When the camera person tells her they are live broadcasting Bea begins her comments.

Bea:  Let’s start with who’s telling the truth and who’s lying shall we? I always carry a small plastic spray bottle of perfume with me. When I place the perfume in the plastic spray bottle I put about one-fourth of what the bottle will hold, which is my perfume, and the other three-fourths of the bottle is filled with water. I already mentioned last week that I do that as I’m person who doesn’t like an overwhelming smell of perfume as that makes a woman smell like a cheap whore. Speaking of smelling like that what we have in Sin City Wrestling is that the majority of Bombshells spray so much heavy perfume on themselves that it amazes me their opponents don’t pass out from the vile smell. With that said the bottle that someone took from the ring apron, and somehow managed to spray it in the face of Fenris, couldn’t have possibly “blinded” Fenris as the perfume-to-water ratio was one part perfume and three parts water. If anything it would cause less pain that if you had a spray bottle of alcohol diluted with water and when you sprayed it on your face your eyes may water for a few seconds before clearing up. After Vinnie’s match the spray bottle was taken from me and brought to a lab where their testing proves I’m telling the truth that it was one-fourth perfume and three-fourths water. But still so many on the Roster want to condemn me and destroy me for doing nothing wrong during Vinnie’s match and having nothing vile in my spray bottle. So be it. All you who want a part of me need to bring it on as I’m ready for you.

Bea snaps her fingers into the camera.

DON’T HAVE A COW MAN!

Bea:  Many of you are familiar with the cartoon series The Simpsons. One of the characters is Bart Simpson and one of his favorite phrases when someone over-reacts to simple things that don’t need that level of reaction is DON’T HAVE A COW MAN! So to all of you on the Roster who want to over-react to what happened in the Vinnie versus Fenris match…DON’T HAVE A COW MAN!

Bea rolls her eyes at the stupidity of others.

EITHER BITCH OUT EVERYONE OR DON’T BITCH OUT ANYONE AT ALL

Bea:  I find it amusing that idiots like Samantha Marlowe went all out to bitch at me about the spray bottle incident at the Senor Vinnie versus Fenris match. First problem I have is I didn’t spray Fenris with what is in the spray bottle as I was busy talking to Jason Adams and Belinda Simone at the Announcer’s table. To be honest I don’t know who sprayed Fenris or if he got sprayed at all. But, as always, we now have half the Roster bitching me out for something I didn’t do. I also notice that all of you who are bitching me out, including my next opponent Sam Marlowe, don’t want to bitch out wrestlers who cheat all the time, interfere in matches all the time, and resort to low blows and other illegal maneuvers. So here’s one of my catchphrases you’ve heard me you before. EITHER BITCH OUT EVERYONE OR DON’T BITCH OUT ANYONE AT ALL!  You heard me! Just because you’re jealous of me you bitch me out for things that happen at a wrestling event when I’m not on the card and often I’m not even at the arena for the event since I’m not booked. You can’t be selective and pick on me because you’re jealous that I’m better than you. Either you bitch everyone out or shut the hell up!

Bea grins a huge grin into the camera.

WHAT SAMANTHA MARLOWE IS IN FOR AT CLIMAX CONTROL 332

Bea:  Now, Sam, you ran your mouth so much on social media to falsely accuse me of something I never did that I heard their servers nearly crashed due to the amount of bullshit you were tossing around. Well, Sam, you got what you wanted. You demanded a match with me and now you got it. The saying goes BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR AS YOU MIGHT JUST GET IT  Well, Sam, you were not careful what you wished for and now you have a match with me. You damn well better be ready for anything as Bill has me in extremely intensive training and I’m learning more per day than you’ve learned over your entire career.

Bea grins into the camera.

Bea:  You know my entrance music is Pat Benatar’s HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT which tells a story of others attacking her and her fending off the attacks and kicking their ass instead. I’ll admit, Sam, that you have a win over me in the one and only match we’ve had since I turned wrestler in addition to being Manager for Bill and Vinnie. It was at Climax Control 300 on May 9, 2021. You won that match over me by pinfall. What are you gonna do now Sam? I guess you’re going to take the one and only match we’ve had against each other, which was over one year ago, and brag about it. Well go ahead and brag as I don’t give a damn what happened over a year ago. If you want to have an attitude then do so. Sam I dare you to come into our match with the mindset that you’re going to give me the best shots you have and take me down. I dare you to try to take me down and take me out this time. I’ll fend off your attacks, and then yell at you HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT. . .FIRE AWAY! While I’m kicking your ass!

I’M NOT TAKING A DIVE

Bea:  You, and others on the roster, think I’m gonna play easy on you and take a dive to your attacks, both physical and verbal, but you, and everyone else, are wrong. You use the excuse that it is due to what happened to Fenris in his match against Senor Vinnie. I didn’t do anything in that match to cause what happened. I didn’t spray Fenris with anything. And from what I saw I didn’t see Vinnie do it either. I’m not sure what happened and the replay of the match also appears to be confusing and controversial. I know you, and others on the roster, wanting to challenge me by using the excuse of that wrestling match is nothing more than you all trying to use an excuse, any excuse, to come after me and attack me. The vicious attacks you all are trying to put on me isn’t about a previous wrestling match. It is, however, all about you all being mean girls who are jealous of me. I had that through High School and College. Every time those mean girls came after me I left them lying on the ground broken and bleeding. So, Samantha, bring your smart ass mean girl game to our match. Hit me with your best shots. Just don’t come whining to me when my hand is raised in victory.

Bea gives the cut sign to the camera person and they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


159
Climax Control Archives / MAX BURKE FALSELY ACCUSING ME IS WRONG
« on: May 26, 2022, 07:52:14 PM »
MAX BURKE FALSELY BLAMING ME WAS WRONG

Narrator:  I assure you I’ve seen Bill Barnhart upset at opponents before but this time, with Max Burke falsely blaming him for not winning the Roulette Championship at Into The Void XI, has made Bill so upset he has total destruction on his mind in his upcoming match against Max Burke.

The scene shifts to the home of Bill and Bea and Iris the Bulldog in Lawrenceville, Georgia. The three are sitting in their living room and when the camera person informs them they are live broadcasting they launch into their comments for Climax Control 331.

BEA DEBUNKS THE LIES

Bea:  Everyone knows that in addition to being an active wrestler in Sin City Wrestling I also serve as the Manager for Bill Barnhart and Senor Vinnie. Before Bill launched into his comments for his match against Max Burke at Climax Control 331 I wish to address the lies being told about me. Specifically I’m going to talk about the non-incident and character defamation perpetrated against me at Into The Void XI. I’ll relate to you what they claim happened and then I’ll tell you what really happened. What they claim happened is that I took out my small plastic spray bottle of perfume and handed it to Senor Vinnie during the match. Then they say Vinnie grabbed the spray bottle and sprayed Fenris in the eyes temporarily blinding him allowing Vinnie to get the win over Fenris in the match. They further claim that the spray bottle was filled with Tequila Sunrise which caused temporary blindness to Fenris. That’s the bullshit version of what people claim happened and now I’ll tell you what really happened.

Bill:  Get ready for the truth.

Bea:  What I do when I put perfume in my spray bottle is to put just a little bit of perfume then dilute it with water. I do that because most perfumes are disgustingly smelly and I don’t want to spray myself with undiluted perfume and end up smelling like a cheap whore like most of the Bombshell wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling do. So usually put about one-third perfume and two-thirds water. That’s what was in the perfume bottle everyone is talking about from Into the Void XI. Now let me answer the question on how my spray bottle of perfume ended up on the ring apron. I was walking around in Vinnie’s corner observing the match when I heard disgusting and insulting comments coming from the direction where Jason Adams and Belinda Simone give commentary on matches. I heard insulting comments about me so when I strutted toward their table I placed the spray bottle on the ring apron outside of the ropes so it wasn’t inside the ring. No sooner did I arrive at the announcing table to go off on Belinda and Jason I hear a commotion in the ring and I see Fenris floundering and Vinnie getting the win with a pinfall. I glared at Belinda and Jason then went back to Vinnie’s corner at ringside. Next thing I hear is that someone is accusing me of having placed Tequila Sunrise in the spray bottle. If anyone wants the forensic test results I had done after Into The Void XI, that proves there was nothing in the spray bottle from a small amount of perfume and water, contact me and I’ll have you talk with the Lab Tech who did the examination.

Bill:  I know how you feel Bea. I’m always accused of doing something I never did. I’ll talk about false accusations when I get into my comments about Max Burke when you’re done with your comments on the incident from Into The Void XI.

Bea:  So here’s the deal. I’ll be in Bill’s corner for his match against Max Burke at Climax Control 321. As always I’ll do my professional job as Bill’s Manager and as always I don’t get involved in his, or Vinnie’s, matches. If anyone tries to lay more false accusations against me then will be harshly dealt with. That’s it Bill. The camera is yours.

BILL ADDRESSES FALSE ACCUCATIONS MADE BY MAX BURKE

Bill:  Speaking of false accusations let me jump into what Max Burke said which led to our match at Climax Control 331. Since everyone has this mental attitude that they feel they must bash me, falsely accuse me, and threaten me, claiming that I said something, or did something, that I never said and never did, instead of me giving my own comments concerning what Max Burke said I have a copy of the official Climax Control 331 Card and I’m going to read from it the information provided by Management concerning the match. That way if anyone has a comment on what was said they can talk to the correct people instead of accusing me of saying something that wasn’t said.

Bill holds up the official Climax Control 331 card and he begins reading the match information and description for his match with Max Burke.

Bill:  Here ya go! Deal with the following which is the official information provided for my match with Max Burke at Climax Control 331. . .

Max Burke still bears a grudge against the veteran "Bulldog" Bill Barnhart for not only getting himself involved in the one-on-one Roulette title shot that he had earned, but now for taking the loss in the actual championship event in Athens! Max believes that the title would have been his had the match remained a singles match as intended, and now he has demanded a singles match - but this time against none other than "Bulldog" Bill Barnhart himself! This match will surely be a 5 star classic battle between two ring veterans, and whichever emerges victorious, will surely be back on track towards that prestigious Roulette title currently held by Finn Whelan! But Max also has his eyes set on a certain someone else for blinding his close friend Fenris at Into the Void XI! Can Burke focus on the task at hand or will vengeance for a friend cloud his better judgment?

After reading the official information from the Climax Control 331 card for his match against Max Burke we see Bill lay the paper down next to him and then he looks into the camera.

Bill:  There ya go people! Max Burke, who failed to perform well in our Triple Threat match at Into The Void XI, is claiming that it is my fault that he wasn’t able to compete well and win the Roulette Championship. Max claims that I got myself involved in that match. What? My match with Finn Whelan was declared a DRAW by the Referee when you cannot have a DRAW in a Roulette match. Christian Underwood got upset at the Referee and declared that both Finn and Bill go to Into The Void XI and the match then became a Triple Threat. Just as Bea explained how she was falsely accused of stuff at Into The Void XI so you now see that Max Burke, who cannot accept that he couldn’t compete well enough to win the Roulette Championship so he blames me for his incompetence. Nice try Max. I hate being falsely accused of stuff. You stepped over the line and when I defeat you at Climax Control 331 I’ll make sure to step over you when the Referee raises my hand in victory. Falsely accuse me huh? There will be no false win by me in our match. I will soundly defeat you!

BILL GONNA RAP SOME SENSE TO YOU

Bea:  Bill are you ready for your performance?

Bill:  Yes I am. I’ll step out to the other room for a few minutes and then return to give you a performance.

Bill excuses himself to go into the other room to change his clothing. When he returns in front of the camera. We see Bill is dressed in what would be classified as Rapper attire consisting of gold chains around his neck, many fancy rings on his fingers, a medium size clock hanging around his neck like Flava Flav used to do, and he faces the camera and comments.

Bill:  Yo! I be Bill DA BULLDOG Barnhart. I’m gonna rap some lyrics for ya. My song is titled IT’S A MESSED UP, SCREWED UP, F****D UP WORLD. Enjoy.

Bill’s Rap music hits and the beat shakes the speakers and Bill is moving around holding a mic up to his mouth. We listen intently to his lyrics.

Lady Gaga is a guy. . .Justin Bieber is a girl. . .it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d  up world.

Pete the Cactus is a hunk. . .he’s more studly than we thunk…it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Iris twerks like Miley. . .then she grins like a smiley. . .it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Most opponents think they’re pearl. . .but what they do is make me hurl. . . it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Max Burke lied about me. . .So I’ll beat him down ‘till he pee. . . it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Max you were warned. . .now you gonna be scorned. . .it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Bill’s Rap music ends and he takes a bow then he removes his Rapper attire and returns to the Bill Barnhart we know and love.

Bea:  Well done Bill. I have to let the viewers know I had no idea Bill was gonna do a rap for you.

FALSELY ACCUSING ME HAS A PAYBACK

Bill:  I’m full of surprises Bea. Max you are one pathetic piece of shit. You are a lying sack of shit. Your performance in the wrestling ring is pathetic and you proved that to the world at Into The Void XI. You can try to blame me for your loss but that’s not gonna work on ninety percent of the viewers. Only the the percent of the viewers who are more mentally deficient than you are will believe your lies. Max when the Roulette Championship match and Into the Void XI was announced you were at a disadvantage against me. When the Climax Control 331 card was announced I again have the huge advantage over you. When you decided to spew forth accusations that I forced myself into our match at Into The Void XI you crossed the line from being at a disadvantage to being downright disgustingly pathetic and stupid. I could go on and on and on giving adjectives to describe you to everyone. You will feel somewhat safe when we are both inside the ring but once you hear the bell from the Timekeeper your breathing will turn to gasps, your knees will buckle, and you’ll drop to your knees and beg for mercy from me. Sorry, Max, you get no mercy from me. . .only pain and suffering. And this time don’t try blaming me again for our upcoming match because your whining and complaining and accusing has got you into this match but I’ll beat you down so hard that you’ll be carried out of the ring to the backstage area.

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments. The camera person calls into the Network and they ask them to cut their camera feed and when he does our screen goes dark.


160
Supercard Archives / Re: Roulette Championship: Finn Whelan (c) v Max Burke v Bill Barthart
« on: May 09, 2022, 07:28:44 AM »
* SENOR VINNIE AND PETE THE CACTUS USED BY PERMISSION OF GERRIT *

THE ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP RETURNS TO ME AT INTO THE VOID XI

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is ready to take back his Roulette Championship. I won’t ruin his presentation by telling you what he told me so I’ll back off and let Bill have the camera.

The scene shifts to the arena in the Ano Liosia Olympic Sports Hall in Athens, Greece. We see Bill and Bea Barnhart sitting near the wrestling ring where the matches will be held for Into the Void XI. They are sitting at the announcer table where Jason Adams and Belinda Simone present their match comments. Bill is dressed in blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and white sneakers. Bea is similarly dressed in blue jeans but she is wearing a short-sleeve light blue button shirt and she is wearing black sneakers.

CHEATING NEVER PAYS AND CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER

Bill:  Well, Finn, you tried to get someone to interfere in our match to get a cheap win but it backfired on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’ll try to make the claim that Kayla Richards came to the ring to attack you and not me. Nice try but only a moron would believe that line of bullshit! If her intention wasn’t to interfere in the match to help you get a cheap win then why did she take a shot at me and Bea? Yeah, punk, try to explain that away! That’s what I thought. Friggin’ lying dip shit dumb ass! Also our previous match was mine but due to an unfortunate little thing both of us fell off the ropes and went through the table at the same time. Apparently our Referee wasn’t fully trained on how Roulette Rules matches end which is with a win and never a draw. So with the Referee calling the match a NO DECISION Christian Underwood ran to the ring and totally slam dunked the Referee on their decision on the match and then he fixed it so that you couldn’t get away with a cheap win. The result of that match caused Christian Underwood to assign me as the third wrestler in the Roulette Championship match at Into the Void XI. Having me assigned to this match is the death blow to your reign as Roulette Champion.

Bea:  Finn your least concern in this match is Max Burke. Yes he talks shit and hurls threats but he’s as harmless as a fly buzzing around a pond full of Frogs. Just as a fly buzzing around a pond full of Frogs gets snagged and eaten by the Frogs so Max Burke will find out, immediately upon the sound of the bell to start the match, that Bill is winning the match regardless of what you and he think.

Bill:  Thanks for the supportive comments Bea. And, Bea, please make sure if that ignorant asshole Kayla Richards shows up at ringside to try to rig the match again that you, and whoever else is available, takes her out to where she won’t came back for a very long time.

Bea:  Will do Bill.

Bill:  As for you, Max, you probably thought you would have an easy match against Finn Whelan when you thought it was just going to be you two involved in the match. Well I damn sure surprised the hell out of you eh? Now you’re not facing one pathetic Finn Whelan, you’re facing one pathetic Finn Whelan and one awesome, amazing, talented, and determined, Bill Barnhart. Just when you thought you were going to stand behind the fan and let the shit hit the fan along comes Bill Barnhart. Suddenly you find yourself in front of the shit throwing fan instead of behind it and it is me, Bill Barnhart, who is behind the fan throwing the shit into the fan to splatter on you. Talk all the crap you want but that’s not going to get you a win in our match!

CHECKING ON IRIS AND PETE THE CACTUS AT THE SPA

Bea:  We’ll take a short break from comments on Bill’s match as we need to check in on Iris and Pete the Cactus. Senor Vinnie told me he was taking them to the Spa so they could relax and chill for a time. They have surveillance cameras so we can log into them on our cell phone to check on them. Just give us a few minutes and then we’ll return to comments on Bill’s match at Into the Void XI.

Bea allows the camera person to be included when she logs into the surveillance camera at the Spa. We see Pete the Cactus and Iris sitting in a hot tub sipping drinks. Bill immediately notices two disturbing things.

Bill:  What the F**K??? Bea! Iris has taken off her pink diamond-studded dog collar. That means she’s nude in the hot tub with Pete the Cactus! She never removes her dog collar except when we give her a bath! I’m going to call Senor Vinnie and. . .

Bill and Bea are shocked when they see Pete the Cactus stand up in the hot tub and they notice Pete doesn’t have any shorts or swim trunks on which means Pete is also nude. Bill dials Senor Vinnie’s number on his cell phone.

Senor Vinnie:  Senor Bill. . .how are you doing?

Bill:  How am I doing? How the hell do you think I’m doing? I’m watching surveillance video of Pete the Cactus and Iris in a hot tub at the Spa you brought them to. Pete doesn’t have any clothing on and Iris took off her pink diamond-studded dog collar which means she’s nude also! Get over there immediately and get those two out of the spa and properly dressed. Me and Bea can’t go as we’re in the middle of airing comments for my my Roulette Championship match at Into the Void XI.

Senor Vinnie:  Oh, Bill, you are so determined. I will take care of Pete and Iris within a few minutes as I’m next door to the Spa. Just watch on the surveillance camera.

After a few minutes. . .

>Bill and Bea watch the surveillance camera and they see Senor Vinnie enter the Spa and approach the hot tub where Pete the Cactus and Iris are located. Senor Vinnie drags Pete out of the hot tub and places a pair of swim trunks on him. He then drags Iris out of the hot tub and returns her pink diamond-studded dog collar to her neck. Senor Vinnie then starts to escort Pete and Iris out of the Spa but he stops to look into the surveillance camera and he gives a thumbs up to Bill and Bea who are watching him then he continues on and leave the Spa with Pete and Iris.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  Glad we got that situation resolved with Pete and Iris. Next on my agenda is to get the situation resolved in my match against Finn Whelan and Max Burke. Just as Pete got caught with his pants down, and Iris got caught removing her pink diamond-studded dog collar which is her one clothing item, so Finn and Max, you two will get caught with your guard down and your weak slow-working brains won’t be able to comprehend the beating I’m laying on you until the match is over and I’ve won the match.  It will be too late for you two once the bell has rung to end our match, Justin Decent announces me as the winner of the match and the Roulette Champion, and my hand is raised in victory over my win.

Bea:  What I want is a clean match, fully within the rules, with no interference, no cheating, no objects that are not allowed in this match.

Bill:  Me too Bea. Here’s the bottom line guys. I’m the Alpha Male in this wrestling match and you two are subordinates to me. I’m the boss and you’re the pathetic underlings. I’m the ass kicker and your asses are the ones getting kicked. I don’t give a damn about you two. Here’s a perfect graphic of how I feel about you.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bea:  Nice graphic Bill. I love Bender.

Bill:  In closing I wish to present a graphic of a Muppet character everyone is familiar with. His name is Beaker and he is Professor Honeydew’s lab assistant. The Professor always has Beaker get involved in experiments and other not-yet-tested inventions of Professor Honeydew. Beaker always got injured in Professor Honeydew’s experiments and Beaker ran around in pain yelling MEEP MEEP MEEP! With that said here’s a graphic of what you two will be screaming in terror when I beat both of you into retirement.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bea:  Beaker is hilarious.

Bill:  To close my comments for today I’ll leave you with these comments. You two standing on stage spewing forth lame jokes and insults reminds me of what happened with Chris Rock during his presentation at the 2022 Oscars. Will Smith, being the wimp that he is, took advice from his wife and he stormed on stage and slapped Chris Rock. With you two standing on stage, running your mouth spewing forth lies and bullshit, I feel like running up on stage and slapping some sense into you two like Will Smith did to Chris Rock. Have a nice time leading up to our match at Into The Void XI because you’ll not enjoy your lives after I destroy you in our match.

Bill informs the camera person he’s done with his comments for today and they call into the Network who switches from this camera feed back to regular programming which is airing at this time.


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