[Shane Hawthorne]

 

|| Scene 1 ||

Horace is sitting on his couch inside his home while holding the TV remote in his hands. His wife and sister are having themselves a grand ole time with an all girls day. Horace is using this time alone to flip through the channels. He continues while shaking his head at some of the shows on TV. He stops briefly when Veronica Taylor, one of the Mean Girls, is on the television speaking. Horace places the remote down on the table while cocking his head to the side. He digs his finger into one ear trying to clean it out. Then does the same motion to his other ear.

Is this chick even speaking English? I mean what in the blue hell does masic even mean.

Horace continues to watch the promo while still looking really confused. He sits back and throws his arms high into the air.

What is it with these failed experiments to the modeling world? They are always talking more and more out of their ass instead of actually using their brains. I guess that's what you have to expect from people who steal their name from a movie title. The Mean Girls, I have to say this is my first ever interaction with them and I already want to rip their voice boxes out. Well, I want to remove their pea size brains and replace them with actual working ones. I mean, who in the hell is this Veronica Taylor? Where does she get off calling me a "masic"?

Horace continues to listen but instead of being confused. He is steadily being annoyed at the utter like of respect from Veronica but more important her total debauchery of the English language. He stands to his feet while hitting pause on the TV.

I have heard enough from that walking debauchery. Veronica, what are you looking to accomplish with this dribble you keep spewing? If you are looking for sympathy votes for your brain transplant then you are going to need more help. If you think your the measuring stick for what beauty looks like then you are clearly delusional beyond repair. My wife is ten times sexier than you could ever hope to reach. I don't find you attractive one bit. In fact, I know most guys like me wouldn't touch a street hooker like yourself even if Bridgette left me. The constant debauchery of the English language is the biggest reason why I think you need some serious help.

You may have a guy but that's probably because he's a bought and paid for slave. No guy in his right mind would want a fashion reject from some modeling company to be his girlfriend. I mean just look at you. You're not that flattering. Even your wrestling ability is questionable. Actually, I don't think you are that talented in a wrestling ring. I just think people toss you sympathy votes because of your poor self esteem. Veronica, I don't know if you have slipped on a banana peel somewhere in your life but you beating me is the best joke I have heard all week. Let me give you a small insight on who you are facing this week Veronica and maybe just maybe you will realize that your barking up the wrong tree.

You can't destroy my dreams when the only thing you can destroy are the retinas in our eyes. Why are you acting like Electra and I are going to fail? I mean you lost last week to Misty fair and square. Now you and this man wanna be are going to fail for a third week in a row. The Mean Girls are slowly falling apart and soon you will have no one to come to your aid. You are so afraid of a freakshow but this freakshow as direct ties to the Underworld. Not to mention, The Darth Knight will always seek to deliver his own brand of justice.

Horace is about to say another word but gets cut off by the front door opening up.

|| Scene 2 ||

Horace walks into the foyer and sees his good friend Mack standing in the doorway. Horace smiles as Mack brings him in for a bro hug. Horace pulls himself away as Mack walks toward the kitchen.

:: Horace ::
What are you doing here Mack?

:: Mack ::
I was in the neighborhood and wanted to come hang with a good friend. Also I was wondering if Vivian was here.

:: Horace ::
How did I guess that? I'm glad you stopped by man. Maybe you can give me your impression on something.

:: Mack ::
Like what? Is this another test to see if I am right for Vivian?

:: Horace ::
Would I do that?

:: Mack ::
Yes

Horace and Mack bust out lighting as they move from the kitchen into the living room. Horace scoops up the remote, rewinds the television and presses play. The moment Veronica Taylor speaks Mack's eyebrows go up into a confused state. A female voice rings out which catches both men off guard.

:: Vivian ::
Why is that stupid bitch on our television?

:: Horace ::
I am facing her and some woman wannabe this week.

:: Mack ::
What is masic supposed to fucking mean? This bitch sounds like she has sniffed too much paint in her lifetime.

:: Vivian ::
Try, sniffing too much perfume. Those Mean Girls are nothing but a sorry excuses for the female gender. I am even hotter than those bitches. The funny thing is I am all natural where those bimbos are fake plastic sluts. I am not talking about the good kind of plastic.

:: Mack ::
Who is this Holly Wood person?

:: Horace ::
He, I mean she is a fucking drag green.

Vivian and Mack are shocked by the vulgarity from Horace's mouth. He just shakes his head while walking out of the room. He walks through the corridor between the living room and the kitchen while heading for his wrestling room.

|| Scene 3 ||

Horace flips on the red and black lamps and walks toward the center of the room. He removes his suit jacket while revealing a black button shirt underneath a red vest and blood style necktie. He slowly unbuttons the sleeves on the shirt.

This week, the Underworld is in an uproar. The uproar is over their leader having to face two undeserving wenches. I mean one is a wench and the other is a disgrace to the male population. Holly Wood are you sure you can read me like a library book? I didn't think you had the brain power to read anything except the words on the backdoor.

Guys who want to be women make me sick. It has nothing with me not respecting you. I would respect you if it was just a damn job in order to make ends meet. However that isn't the case is it Holly. No, you dress in drag because you want to be fucking cool. This week is going to be my worst week ever. Not because I'm not booked but because I am not facing anyone who has actual talent. I mean Holly you are trained in wrestling but you don't even use it. I haven't seen you inside the ring. In fact, I believe this is going to be one of those matches that make me question where the brass is placing me.

He removes his shirt to reveal a tattooed covered torso. He places the shirt on some desk as he continues.

At least Electra and I are going to be on the same page. We are wanting to shutdown the pathetic Mean Girls. The Dark Empire is still coming and I will be the one who brings it to light. Mean Girls, tonight will be the last night you ever act like bitches. The "freakshows" are going to show you just how freaky we can fucking be. Veronica that mouth is going to be your downfall and Holly, you are going to lose your wig. The Soulless One is coming to claim your souls for the Underworld.

He slips on a T-shirt and takes one last look at the camera.

The Empire Salutes You

Horace finally walks out of the room as the scene begins to face.