Grumpy Money
The scene fades in to a large, over priced hotel suite. The floor, the walls, and probably the ceiling are all made of marble. There are several marble columns that are reminiscent of Greek architecture spotted throughout the suite. Frantically pacing across the imported tile floor is Jimmy Ringo. He is wearing nothing but a cream colored silk rob and a pair of chrome sunglasses. The robe is nearly untied with his waxed chest sticking out of the front. Bouncing off his pecks is his large crucifix that glistens in the bright light of the crystal chandelier above his head. In walks a long legged brunette in a business suit. Her heels are nearly half of a foot high and are as black as the thick rims of her glasses. Her hair is up in a bun as she trots over toward Jimmy. She speaks up in an English accent.
“Jimmy-“
“You must mean Money…”
“Yes, I apologize. Money, we have to be down in the press lobby in twenty minutes and you’re still trotting around in your robes.”
“Real Money don’t give no shit about no press conference.”
“What?”
“You deaf? I said I don’t care.”
“Jimm-“
Ringo cuts her off with a look of disgust.
“Money. We have made commitments to Sin City Wrestling and as your administrative assistant it is my duty to make sure you appear at said event so please, if you will, put some pants on.”
“April, this is bullshit. I don’t owe those trash bags nothin’ over at SCW. I already beat this fool. Now I got to do this dance again…with Steve ‘fucking’ Ramone? This is just wasted time.”
“It’s a match isn’t it? I mean, you could’ve been left off of the card completely…”
“Don’t play me, bitch! I’m the Icon this business needs…the freshest playa on the planet. Me and Mickey are on the verge letting the whole damn world in our little secret and these bitches do what? They drop us in with Steve Ramone and this McMaple monkey again? And at the bottom of card? The beginning of the night? I got better things to do on Sunday than waste my time with a has been and a never gonna be.”
“Look at it this way, Money. There are plenty of Sin City Wrestling superstars that they could have asked to be included in this event. They wanted you. And you’re not opening the show. There is a Bombshell match on before you.”
Jimmy chuckles to himself.
“You mean two bitches in the ring? That’s just background noise for people getting to their seats, April. Nobody wants to watch that. Not when they could watch me.”
April rolls her eyes behind Jimmy’s back.
“It’s just fucked up, man. I don’t deserve to be treated this way. I’m a diamond in the sky and they put me in a match with Steve Ramone? Really? The guys ain’t done shit since he claimed he won all those titles in a place that no one even knows existed. I’m-a show him what a real hall of famer is. What it’s like to be in the ring with a real man. Shit, I’m so fresh I bet he doesn’t even get tagged in. Bet you a G-note the boy just watches from the ropes as I crack the back of that Blue Jay’s fan for the second time. I bet you a G-note he don’t even have the balls to come to the ring.”
“Actually, he doesn’t fear anything. That’s his thing.”
“Say what?”
"No, seriously. He calls himself the Fearless One.”
Jimmy starts cracking up.
“Boy is so tough he’s gotta run around telling everyone he ain’t got no fear? Sounds to me like he’s a scared little mess waiting to piss his wrestling tights when a real man gets in front of him and smacks his bitch ass in the mouth.”
“I don’t know, Money. He hasn’t broken out yet here but he’s been in some big matches. Especially with Max Burke. Those matches could’ve gone either way…”
“Who? I don’t know of you’ve noticed this April but you’re standing in front of Real Money. Nothing goes either way with me. I win, bitch, That’s it.”
A loud knock is heard at the front door of the hotel suite.
“Now go get the door.”
Jimmy picks up an open champagne bottle off of a table and takes a large swig of it as April walks over to the door. She opens it and two men brush by her. A large man in a black suit and a shorter gentleman in a similar suit.
“My man, H-Run in the house.”
H-Run is the shorter of the two gentleman and head of Real Money’s private security operation.
“Hello, Money. This is Tango.”
“Tango? Sounds too much like Ringo, dog. We gotta give ya a new name. Let’s call this big mother fucker W.L. for Wide Load.”
Jimmy and H-Run chuckle.
“Bitch, give me and Run a minute while we do business.”
“You too, Tango…I mean W.L.”
The two leave the room and Jimmy and H-Run sit down at on the couches along the far wall of the room. Jimmy takes another swig of his champagne and then sets it down on the table in front of them.
“What’s good Run?”
“You tell me.”
“You know, just being breezy.”
“Yeah, breezy.”
H-Run leans in toward Jimmy.
“I hope you haven’t forgotten our little arrangement, James.”
“Nah, man.”
“Good. Because I did not come out to the desert, to this city that disgusts me, so I could run around and pretend to be your bodyguard. Let’s not lose sight of it. I came here for the pay day. I came here because you told me all about your damn scheme not so I could watch you in the ring with two perennial losers.”
“Run…I got this. This is all Money.”
“It better be. Let’s not forget about Joey Naples.”
H-Run picks up the bottle of Champagne off of the table and takes a large sip before smiling at Jimmy as the camera fades out.
Green Money & High Tides Part II
The camera fades back in to a large club in Miami. In the VIP section Jimmy is sitting with H-Run and Frankie Periwitch. Run leans in toward Jimmy.
“I want in.”
Money laughs.
“Ya want in what, bro? This is wrestling. It ain’t some book stuff like we’ve done in the passed. That kind of money ain’t there.”
H-Run looks at Ringo and smiles. He gently pushes Ringo on the shoulder, which very obviously annoys Jimmy.
“What?”
“I don’t care about the wrestling kid. I want in on Vegas. You know how much money I guy like me can make out there? Private security business is dead out here. Only people who got money in this town don’t wanna spend it or the’re moving on, like you.”
“So you want me to hook you up?”
“Just an introduction here and there.”
“And what does this gotta do with Real Money?”
“Ten percent.”
“Fifteen. And you get rid of this problem I’ve got.”
“Oh yeah, what’s that?”
“This little bitch named Joey Naples.”
”What about Joey Naples?”
H-Run and Jimmy look at each other and then look back over at Frankie.
“Why don’t you take a walk Frankie?”
”Nah I’m just chilling here with you guys…”
H-Run leans in close to Frankie.
”Take a walk, kid.
”Alright, I’m walking.
Frankie gets up and leaves the VIP section.
”So…Joey Naples.
“Yeah., this punk’s got it coming, Run.
”What did he do?”
“I don’t even wanna say it, it makes me so angry.”
”Money, you gotta tell me if you want me to help.”
”Mother fucker closed down my tanning salon. Turned that bitch in to a Chinese food take out joint.
H-Run starts laughing.
“Something funny?”
”You can’t be serious.”
“You know hard it is to maintain these tan lines, Run? I’ve searched years for the right combination of bed and oil and this place had it. But then, these people sold the place to this zip.
”Naples?
“Naples. Next thing you know he brings in his girl’s Pops to make chicken chow fun and my damn tan lines are starting to blend. Look at this!
Jimmy stands up and pulls up his shirt, showing his perfect tan.
”I don’t really see-
“You help me with Joey Naples and I’ll make any introduction you need...”
H-Run sits back in his seat and smiles at Jimmy as the camera cuts out.
Fresh To The Press
The camera cuts to a press conference. Sitting at a table in front of the sea of reporters is April, Jimmy, and a SCW Press agent. Jimmy is wearing his white pants with a bright pink v-neck t-shirt. Ridiculously huge designer sunglasses cover his eyes and gaudy platinum and diamond rings wrap seven out of his ten fingers. Around his neck sits a large blinged out cross with a thick platinum rope chain. He stairs out in to the sea of reporters with a blank look on his face. He turns around and exchanges a few whispers with H-Run, who is standing behind him in a black suit with another large man beside him. The reporters start throwing questions at Jimmy but he continues with his blank stare. After a moment, he leans over to April and whispers something in her ear. She nods her head and stands up, walks over to the podium, and clears her throat.
“Thank you for joining us ladies and gentlemen. Instead of answering your questions this afternoon, Mr. Ringo has prepared a statement.”
She walks back over to her seat as the hum of a sea of whispers sets in over the crowd of reporters. Jimmy stands up and walks over to the podium. As he gets there he nods his head toward the back of the room. A loud, slow, hip-hop beat begins to play in the room and the men and women of the press become even more confused. Jimmy begins to dance in place. He tries to grab the microphone off the podium but it is fastened to the wood. He pulls hard with both hands, breaking the microphone off of the stand. He bounces his head to the beat as he pulls the microphone up to his mouth.
“For those of ya that don’t know, I was born to drop rhymes
On all you little bitches, so read between these lines
I was born in Magic City, half cocked and oh so pretty
Made more cash than a federal tax collecting committee”
Jimmy begins to walk around the table and moves with the beat as if he is giving a concert for the members of the press.
“I put the sin in Sin City and the style in Las Vegas
I beat Murphy in mere seconds and gave him a taste of real greatness
It should be illegal that I’m forced to face him one more time
Only now he’s got a partner in this organized crime.”
He waves his free hand back and forth through the air.
“Steve Ramone calls himself a hall of famer
But I really hope he reads this disclaimer
There ain’t nothing fearless about giving it up
Throw in the towel before I make you look like a chump”
He pulls his sunglasses down as he stares at a female reporter. He gives her a quick wink and a smile before he starts his next verse.
“You ain’t got nothing on me or even my Irish boy, Mickey
We’ll end this real quickie, just like when Charlotte tugs on my dickie
Ya see you can’t begin to fathom what Real Money can do
Quit now and still have something for Chloe to look up to”
He motions for the crowd to start bopping their heads and they reluctantly do.
“Ya say you from Queens in the city of Gotham
But I’m a brother who knows that you really ain’t got none.
No balls, no stones, no juevos, no yoke
To call you fearless is a laughable joke”
Jimmy moves back behind the podium and puts his finger on his lips in an effort to quiet to everyone down. The music cuts out and Jimmy begins to almost whisper his last verse.
“But the real joke is on Murphy who’s sad as can be
Why don’t you go back to Canada, and play with a Mountie
Drink ya maple syrup and watch Boondock Saints
Cuz Mickey and I gonna take this, a winner you ain’t”
He drops the microphone on the floor and heads out of the side door. April quickly gets up and follows him and so does H-Run and the other security guard. The SCW press agent seems like she’s not sure what to say as the camera cuts out.
