"This is ridiculous!"
The voice emanated from behind the closed door of the dressing room at the French boutique, Suite 114.
"No, wait. Scratch that. I look ridiculous!"
Just to the side of the wicker door, seated on a soft, velvet cushioned sofa, was resident SCW Bombshell, the plus-sized Cookie S'Mores. She was wearing a surprisingly tasteful outfit combination of a violet dress blouse over a dark plum shirt underneath, a matching plum colored dress and a scarf tied around her neck. At her side was a lace embroidered hat of a light purple tone adorned with pearls. Currently she was preoccupied with the business of unwrapping a Kit-Kat bar while she listened to the grumbling coming from the dressing room of the store and she promptly rolled her eyes in a faux sense of annoyance.
"Will you please stop?" She sighed exasperated. "You've said that about the last four outfits you've tried on. Now you promised me you'd go shopping with me and buy yourself something nice so just get out here so we can have a look see. You can't possibly look that bad!"
The dressing room door swung open with a sharp bang and out stepped -- Brandi Schotze? Almost unrecognizable at first in clothes alone as she was wearing a cream colored button down blouse that -- thanks to her humongous bust size -- wasn't quite buttoned down, and a matching skirt that reached to mid-thigh. Teetering on high heels that she was clearly unaccustomed to wearing, she started to stalk out of the small room and stood in front of Cookie who stopped her snack at mid-bite and sized her up, candy half in her mouth and her eyes widened.
"Well?" Brandi said, arms held out stiffly. "What do you think?"
"I think I stand corrected."
"Thanks." Brandi snarled, her arms remaining stiff. "I feel the love!"
"Why are you holding your arms out like that?" Cookie asked, waving her candy toward her to emphasize. "Just put them down."
Brandi huffed, "I can't! Every time I do, my tits pops out! I swear to God, is every chick in this country an A Cup? Everything you've had me try on keeps threatening to bust a seam above the freaking equator and...!"
Brandi turned her head and frowned as one of the women who worked at this boutique was standing a foot away, sizing her up with a critical eye and a smile on her face. Brandi looked at Cookie for a moment and then turned to the clerk and spoke up, "You got something to say?"
The clerk waved a fountain pen towards Brandi's chest and said, "Peut-être quelque chose que les prochains classent vers le haut pour Madame?"
Brandi turned to Cookie and asked, "What the hell did this bitch just say about me?"
Cookie focused on her candy bar and took a bite before saying, "She said your knockers were too big for that and you need a bigger size."
"Well no shit Sherlock!" Brandi huffed and slapped her hands down against her thighs...
**SPROING!**
"Damn it!" Brandi shouted as she folded her arms over her now exposed ample boobs and she turned and hurried into the dressing room. "I told you that would happen!"
Cookie countered with, "Well I didn't tell you to give everyone out here a floor show, did I?"
"Just get me the next size up!"
Cookie turned to the clerk who raised her brows, "Madame veut-elle le prochain classent-elles vers le haut?"
Cookie nodded and the clerk turned to head off and retrieve the garment. Brandi looked over the door and frowned, "What the hell did she just say?"
Cookie responded, "She said you're being awfully damn picky for someone who has a rip in her drawers."
The door swung back open with a similar bang and Brandi stomped out and almost fell over on those high heels before she caught herself with a hand against the side of the cabinet lined with different sized and styles of blouses.
"I do not have a rip in my drawers!" She practically bellowed and the heads of the other clerks, attendants and customers turned in her direction, even if they did not comprehend what she said. A hard look from the buxom babe caused each one to return to what they were doing previously and Brandi turned to Cookie and said, "And if that cow doesn't stop talking to me in Spanish I swear I'm going to..."
"French."
"What?"
"French. We're in Paris, she spoke French."
"You say potato, I say Vodka. She needs to knock it off before I knock it off!"
Cookie crumbled up her candy wrapper and looked around for a waste basket to dispose of it in, but finding none, she shrugged and tucked it discreetly under the cushion she was seated on. She looked at Brandi and asked, "Well what exactly do you expect them to speak in France? English?"
Brandi nodded, "Well it'd be a nice change of pace! Maybe then I could understand what they're saying. It'd be good for tourism."
Cookie smiled and a soft chuckle escaped her. She looked back toward the further interior of the shop and then to Brandi. "Oh trust me. Seeing those puppies flop around has been great for tourism I'm sure. There's a bus load of Greek sailors that honed in on this place as if it were radar."
Brandi frowned and glanced out into the shop and sure enough, roughly fifteen Greek sailors were wandering around. She looked back to Cookie and shook her head, "This was a mistake."
The attendant walked back up with a fresh blouse, same style and color but a size larger and Brandi snatched it from her hand and walked back into the dressing room, slamming the door behind her. Cookie shook her head and leaned back against the wall.
Cookie spoke up, "All I ever see you wear is jeans and t-shirts that even the Hooters girls wouldn't touch."
"Your point being?"
"Take a chance! Be a woman!"
The clerk mumbled, "Bonne chance avec cela." And walked away to see to another customer.
"What the hell did that bitch say!?" Brandi called out.
"She said good luck with your visit to Paris."
"Oh!"
Roughly thirty minutes and two more blouse sizes later, Cookie and Brandi are now walking down the pavement of the Parisian strip. Dusk is starting to settle in and the chilled night air would soon descend toward those walking the streets far below. The famed lights of the city started to show themselves as the two Bombshells took a brief respite from their trek and set their shopping bags down to look out over the water toward the Eiffel Tower and the lights.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Cookie finally spoke up, breaking the momentary silence.
Brandi shrugged, "It's okay I guess." Cookie turned her head to look at her companion over her shoulder and Brandi smirked, "Yeah, it's real pretty. Never thought I'd get the chance to see this place, and here I am."
"First time here for you." Cookie said softly. "Third time for me. Been here twice when I did those plus sized fashion shoots."
This time it was Brandi who turned her head to look at Cookie and she asked in wonderment, "You weren't bullshitting me about that? You really were a model?"
"Damn right." Cookie nodded. "Not one of those anorexic, bulimic, skinny ass twats either. A real woman with real clothes."
Brandi smirked and looked down at her outfit, "You call these real clothes?"
Cookie leaned against the railing and rested an elbow on the metal and her chin in her hand as she looked at her pal. She said, "You're not having the best time, are you?"
Brandi waved her concern off, "Oh don't bullshit me with that. I'm having a great time. It's like I said, never thought I'd get the chance to see Europe and damned if this girl ain't right here seeing Paris of all places in all it's glory."
"But...?" Cookie prompted.
"But..." Brandi sighed. "...I just keep thinking there's gotta be more to Paris than shops and stores and these fancy boutiques with these snooty French bitches swarming all over you."
"Like what?"
Brandi waved her hand, trying to think, "Well ... like..."
A tune started to play from seemingly out of nowhere...
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And an accordion player slid up next to Brandi.
Accordion PLAYER: Lovers!
Brandi turned and jumped from his sudden appearance and a flower lady passed a rose to her and bumped hips with the accordion player.
Flower Lady: Ooo la la!
Brandi spun about and found Cookie in the midst of a crowd of seemingly stereotyped Parisian citizens. Cookie held her arms out and begun to sing to the music...
Cookie: Welcome, my friends, to Paris.
Here, have a flower on me.
Forget where you're from.
You're in France!
Children, come!
I'll show you that French joie de vivre!
Paris holds the key to your hear.
And all of Paris plays a part.
The accordion player and flower seller strolled past Brandi, arm in arm, kicking their legs out like the famous Rockettes....
Accordion Player and Flower Lady: Just stroll two by two
Down what we call "la rue"
A chorus line of handsome French men wearing berets strutted on each side of Cookie who was dancing along with them...
Cookie and French men: And soon all Paris
Will be singing to you!
Ooh La La
Ooh La La
Ooh La La!
A smarmy French man with a rose between his teeth slid up beside Brandi and waggled his eyebrows.
French man: Paris holds the key to l'amour! And Brandi pie faced him to the ground.
A French man tapped Brandi on the shoulder and laughed.
French man: And not even Freud knows the cure.
An airplane whizzed by in the sky overhead with the banner flapping in the air behind it...
Airplane banner: There's love in the air!
Cookie pops up in Brandi's face...
Cookie: At the Follies Begere!
A young French man was standing at his canvas, painting Brandi's portrait...
Artist: The French have it down to an art!
Brandi's head is looking rapidly from left to right as Cookie stepped back into the crowd of Parisians who all sang...
Everybody (except for Brandi): Paris hold the key to your heart!
Cookie danced up to Brandi...
Cookie: When you're feeling blue
Come to Le Moulin.
When your heart says don't,
The French say do!
A chorus line of girls danced by Brandi who by now was looking totally weirded out.
Chorus line: When you think you can't
You'll find you can can!
Cookie: Everyone can can can!
Cookie joins the chorus line and they all kick their legs...
Cookie and chorus girls: You can can can too!
Whee!
Whee!
Whee!
A very handsome young Parisian man stood next to Brandi and she smiled at him and he winked at her...
Hunky Parisian man: Paris hold the key to the past.
Yes, Princess, I've found you at last.
No more pretend,
You'll be gone,
That's the end...
Everyone: Paris hold the key
To your heart!
A boy on a bicycle rode by...
Bicyclist: You'll be "très jolie" and so smart!
A snooty French woman strutted by...
Snooty French woman: Come dance through the night
An older man slid up.
Older man: And forget all your woes Everyone is suddenly around Brandi and leaning in closely...
Cookie and everyone else: The city of light
An old woman smiled up at Brandi...
Old woman: Where a rose is a rose!
Everyone but the hunk and Brandi back to the center of the street in a musical number chorus ensemble...
Cookie and everyone else: And one never knows what will start!
Paris
Holds the key...
Hunk: To her...
Everybody: Heart!
Cookie: Ooh La La!
Everybody: Ooh La La!
The mysterious music stopped and fireworks exploded in the now-night sky over their heads and Cookie posed with the countless number of dancers/singers and Brandi just stood there with her arms folded, staring at her.
Cookie shook her head, "What? No good?"
Brandi continued to stare and the cast started to break up and the normal Paris night took over once again as Cookie approached her. The rotund Bombshell sighed, "Okay, I was saving this for a last resort to help you have a good time but..."
The night club was filled to the brim with adult women of varied ages, and the one thing they had in common was, besides the drink in their hand, they were cheering madly for the spectacle in front of them!
On the dance floor a mud ring was set up and two naked studs were grappling around, throwing one another down into the mud! they rolled around, muscles against muscles, body slamming, drop kicking... well you get the idea, as they tried to beat the other for the ego boost and bragging rights in front of these bevy of beauties that cheered them on!
And Cookie was seated right there in front row and Brandi was standing up, shaking her bottle of beer and letting the contents spray everywhere as she cheered the loudest out of them all...
"C'mon Sinbad! Make that thing move!" Brandi shouted!
Cookie's Jar-nal -- get it? No? Well I would have laughed if you wrote it!...
"I guess you might say the third time is the charm. It's like I told Brandi, that this was the third time that I've visited Paris but I can't say that I was entirely honest with her. Yes, I did the plus-sized model shoots but I never said the visits were over all a very pleasant experience. Despite what anyone of my size might try to tell you, the fashion industry has always been a skinny girl's domain. When people would pass by and watch as the photographer did his job, giving us fat girls his instructions while the music played, I heard some things called out to us that at the time almost had me in tears. Almost. I learned years ago that words might hurt, but if some skinny ass bitch wanted to taunt me, then this fat chick was going to drag her bony butt to one of these Paris Canals and bounce her clear to the other side of the country. We'd see then if she'd be so quick to talk that trash to someone big enough to sit on her."
"Paris was my first stop on the SCW European tour. I would have liked to have gotten the chance to see Holland but beggars can't be choosers. A Bombshell tag team match always promised for a good time. I admit surprise though that Brandi wasn't scheduled to be my partner. She and I made short work of those two supermodel nymphos and we looked damned good doing it too. This time though I'm paired up with Vixen who is a fast rising chick in the Bombshell division. I can see why she's scheduled to be going after the championship in a few weeks in London. It also makes sense that we're going up against the champ herself, Raynin, and that partner of hers, Gothika."
"We haven't had much of a chance to see what Gothika has been capable of other than helping back Raynin and that manager of theirs in an ambush or two against the other Bombshells. I don't get what they're hoping to accomplish, and I don't know who they think they're impressing. It's like a chick version of the NWO or Four Horsemen, and I can't help but be disappointed in Raynin. That girl's been one of the hardest workers in the SCW, bar none, whether it be the men or the women, and here she is acting like a thug. Was it really necessary for her and those two gal pals to attack Misty, Kittie and Brooklyn the way they did? I mean, Raynin already won the title. What was the point, or was there even one?"
"I guess the only one who really has any answers in Raynin, but that won't be coming up any time soon. This is a matter of action speaking louder than any words and Cookie is all about the action. It doesn't bother me any that I'll be wrestling the champion herself. It's a big challenge but I'm a big woman and I know I can handle things in there. From what I've seen, so can that partner of mine. The odd factor is going to be that Darknyss chick, but with any luck, I'll have Brandi out there to even the odds and keep that manager of theirs from sticking her nose into matters she has no business in. Sure, it's her wrestlers, but if she wanted to get involved, then she's get a licence to wrestle and do it! Otherwise, butt out girlfriend!"
"Leave this one to the big girls. Vixen and Cookie plan on walking away the winners and be the newest lights shining in the City of Lights."
"Smooches!"
Cookie
