[Roux]

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Recently, it’s come to my attention that I’ve been letting too many other people speak for me.

Case in point, most of you people already know who I am despite the fact that I have never stepped into a Sin City Wrestling ring. Most of you have already formed an opinion about me, despite the fact that I was never allowed to make my own first impression. Even worse, people take one look at me and think that they know everything about me. They think they know who I am, what I am capable of, and the type of person that I will be in this industry. It’s like my whole career already has this predetermined trajectory. Everyone keeps trying to tell me who I am, and who I am supposed to be.

That ends now.

I don’t care who I am related to. The family that brought me to the West Coast has absolutely nothing to do with why I am in this company. I am not affiliated with any former Bombshell World Champions. I have not been trained by any of the handful of noteworthy gyms that seem to supply the entire roster of this company. I don’t have some legend in the shadows pulling all of my strings, and I am damn sure not the second coming of any of the people that have been enshrined in the Sin City Hall of Fame. I don’t care what you people have heard about me. I don’t care what you people think you know about me. I don’t care about your expectations, or your criticism, because I haven’t done a goddamn thing in this company yet. I haven’t shared anything with you people, so anyone that already has their mind made up about me is simply telling themselves lies.

I have been busting my ass for two years to get to a point where I thought that I could really compete in the Blast from the Past tournament. I didn’t ask for any help, and I didn’t take any handouts. Nobody helped me get here, and all it took was five minutes to convince Mark and Christian that I was worthy of one of their precious tournament spots. I am here because I put in the work, nothing more, and nothing less. And sure, I am going to be the least experienced person that takes part in this tournament, but I was also one of the very first to sign up. I didn’t drag my feet. I didn’t weigh my options. I didn’t wait until they doubled the field or whatever. I knew that this was where I wanted to be, and on the first day that I was eligible, my name was on the list. That should tell everyone everything that they needed to know about how I feel stepping into this tournament.

I can’t fucking wait.

...but I don’t have any delusions of grandeur either. I know that I am likely biting off more than I can chew. I know that I am essentially diving off the deep end. It’s not only the level of competition that I am going to face inside the ring, but the partner that I have been saddled with. I am well aware of Bill Barnhart’s reputation in this company, and I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t hoping to draw someone with a better chance of helping me get to the end, but it is what it is. That is part of the magic of the tournament. It doesn’t matter who you are, or what potential you have, you’re stuck with the partner that fate decides. Apparently my fate wasn’t to make it all the way to the end of this tournament, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t defy the odds and make a splash in the first round.

When you think about it, it’s kind of freeing. If I had gotten paired with someone that had a real shot of running the distance I would probably be all in my head about how I am going to mess it up. After I got over that initial foreboding one-and-done feeling, it really felt like this is the best case scenario. If we lose, well… we were never going to get to the end anyways, but if we win it will have been something that none of you people ever saw coming. Despite all of you people having made up your minds about me based on how you feel about Court, I still get to go out there and prove you wrong in the center of the ring because I can steal this first match regardless of who my partner is. I know I can.

...and that is why with my first match right around the corner, there is only one thing on my mind.

This is my story.

I’m done letting people tell it for me.




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“All my life been putting on a fake smile
Sitting on my own, feel like I'm exiled
Feeling like I always do the wrong things
Telling all their friends that I'm the bad kid
Now I'm on my own, I lost my magic
Dealing with your bullshit, now I'm over it”
-Tones and I
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I’ve been trying to figure out where to start. Part of me says that I should go all the way back to the beginning, but that just doesn’t feel right. To tell you the truth, I was fine with the way that my life turned out until recently. Sure, it wasn’t what I wanted. We all wish that our childhoods were the fairytales that we grew up on. It would have been nice to have been born to parents that were capable of taking care of themselves, let alone a child. It would have been better than having to bounce around through the system until a family was willing to take a chance on me. And while that environment was it’s one version of toxic, things could have certainly been worse than spending my teenage years inside one of the biggest houses in Long Beach. I could have been on the street and struggling to feed myself, so who am I to complain about the life that I was given? I was safe. I was taken care of. I considered myself lucky to have been given that much, because I had seen what happened to people that slipped through the cracks. I could have easily been one of them.

Instead, I was just the invisible child in a house filled with echoes. My adoptive parents wanted to turn me into the perfect daughter that theirs would never actually be. Because of that, my sister saw me as her replacement. I realize now that both of those relationships were irreparably damaged before I ever moved into the house. I didn’t understand the situation that I was stepping into back then, but I was only twelve. How could I have possibly wrapped my head around what was happening? But going back and trying to unpack all of that is a waste of time. It is what it is, and realistically I have very little to actually complain about. Nobody in this world is loved as perfectly as they wish they could be. Nobody is 100% happy with how their life has turned out. The life that I got was one that the majority of the world would have settled for, and that was enough for a long time.

So I guess the only real place to start is the very first day that it wasn’t enough anymore.

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Bad Child
Long Beach, California
1st October 2023
OFF-Camera

COURT: I didn’t see you downstairs…

Wakes weren’t really my thing. Besides, I didn’t really know any of the people that filled the first level of my adoptive parent’s home. To be totally honest, I don’t remember the two of them ever really having guests come to the house. They had no siblings that I was aware of, but definitely none that ever visited. I knew that the two of them were well-respected at the university they spent their adult lives at, but could have never guessed that they had the following that they did. I expected the church to be mostly empty this morning, but showed up to a room that was practically standing room only. When the whole group showed up here afterwards, I was overwhelmed to say the least. Then again, I assume that everyone downstairs was just as shocked as I was. None of this was anything that we had seen coming. I think the suddenness of it was what made people show up. Death has a way of doing that. My parents weren’t really open with their feelings, so I imagine there were a lot of people that never got to say things to them that they really wanted to. It was the only way that I could rationalize the crowd.

And it wasn’t their fault that I hated every minute of it. Everyone had been incredibly sweet all day. The ones that knew of my existence said that they had heard great things about me. However, those were few and far between. For the most part, it was a long line of people asking me about the one person that hadn’t chosen to show her face for the majority of the day. So when her voice filled my ears, part of me was relieved. However, a much larger part chose violence.

ROUX: It’s almost like you should have taken the hint.

My tone wasn’t overly harsh, but definitely gave the impression that I wanted to be left alone. She found me in their room, oddly a place that I had never really been allowed inside of while they were alive. It was comforting to finally be able to see them for the people that they were, and I thought it was the one place that nobody would dare trespass on.

COURT: I was going to ask how you were holding up, but I guess I already got my answer to that question.

I shouldn’t have held it against her, because I never had any intention of being civil from the moment that I heard her voice. However, her naturally shitty tone of voice only made my anger flare worse.

ROUX: How am I supposed to feel? Want me to act like you and pretend that nothing has happened?

I heard her gasp, and knew that I had managed to stab through her defenses. Sure, I was unapologetically provoking an argument at a wake, but if it was going to be the first real conversation we have ever had, we might as well vent all of our feelings.

COURT: That’s not fair! I don’t give those people unlimited access to my life like that. If not for Ruby, they wouldn’t know anything about me outside this ring. This isn’t a public matter.

It was funny that she was going to hide behind her career, and say that she didn’t want it to become the focus of a show, or a promo, but that was bullshit. She was pretending that we didn’t exist because it was business as usual. From the moment she left, she never once looked back and nothing that she said could convince me otherwise. I had lived through her decisions to exclude us from her life. She couldn’t gaslight me into seeing it her way.

ROUX: Yet your phony vacation is….

I still hadn’t looked at her, but could tell that she was about to try and change course based on the deep breath that she took before taking a few steps towards where I sat on the end of our parent’s bed.

COURT: I didn’t come here to fight, so can we just not? Can we call a truce just for the day?

I rolled my eyes even though it wasn’t an expression she could have caught from her side of the room.

ROUX: Yeah, sure, no worries. I was already figuring out how I was going to get out of here without everyone down there getting all bent out of shape about it anyways. Now that you’re here, the spotlight won’t be empty.

Her attempt at patience failed almost immediately, because she threw up her hands and once again started talking down to me.

COURT: That’s not what I meant either! You have every right to be here!

I didn’t even feel the words bubble up before they were being screamed out of my mouth. I also never intended to turn her way to say them to her face, and the tears that came to my eyes were automatic.

ROUX: YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DO!

She took a step backwards as the tears broke free from my eyes and streaked down my cheeks. I had done such a good job of keeping them in all day, but the dam finally broke. Not wanting people to start making their way towards the argument, I was able to temper my tone, but I didn’t dare break my eyes away from hers.

ROUX: It shouldn’t have taken them dying for you to finally fucking understand that either.

Clearly taken off guard, she took a step towards me in an attempt to comfort me.

COURT: I can’t chan--

I put up a hand that stopped her in her tracks halfway across the room.

ROUX: You’re right. You can’t. And now the only reasons we had to associate with one another are in matching urns in the dining room. The past can’t be changed, but we don’t have to keep going through this either.

I brushed the tears from my face, and then looked up at the mirror above my mother’s dresser to make sure that I hadn’t ruined my makeup with the outburst of emotion.

COURT: That’s all I have been trying to say. We ca--

I shook my head, which cut her off before she could finish. I was already done with this conversation. There was only one thing that the two of us actually needed to discuss.

ROUX: I’ll get most of my stuff out today, and what I can’t take with me I will store out in the garage for a little bit until you sell the place or whatever.

I got up from the bed and started to walk around her but she stepped into my path.

COURT: What are y--

I rolled my eyes again, and this time there was no way that she could have missed it.

ROUX: Oh don’t act like you don’t know. I figured that was the only thing that could pry you away from your precious little life as Bombshell World Champion. They left you all of it. My name wasn’t even mentioned.

I tried to step around her, but again she moved with me to cut me off from the door.

COURT: That’s gotta be some kind of mis---

I pushed her back, and she stumbled when her heel caught the edge of the area rug in the center of the floor.

ROUX: You would think so, right? I mean, all you ever did was leave the moment that I stepped through the door. You liked to pretend that none of us even existed. I guess I just wasn’t good enough to fill the shoes you left.

She managed to catch her balance without spilling all the way to the floor, but it had created the opening that I needed to make it to the door.

COURT: That’s crazy. You were everything that they wanted! They just must not have updated anyth--

I was halfway out the door, but stopped to make sure that she didn’t give herself the wrong idea about the people that our parents were.

ROUX: All of their wishes were last updated in April. I guess they must have been impressed with the woman you’ve become. Congrats. You win Court, like always.

I tried to close the door on her, but she managed to get a hand on it to stop me from pulling it closed. She forced it back open so that we were once again face-to-face.

COURT: It’s not fair for you to put all of this on me like I had something to do with it! I am just now hearing about it! It’s not like I told them to cut you out.

I shrugged, because it might not have been Court that drew up those papers for them, but everything that was on them was everything she had been telling me from the moment that I showed up on the doorstep. I was never really part of this family.

ROUX: It’s not like you ever supported them letting me in either. You ever stop to think that the moment you wrote them off was the moment they started to resent my existence? Nothing I ever did was good enough, because I’m not you. And you wouldn’t give them the time of day because you hated them for adopting me. You want to talk about fair? I didn’t ask for any of this. You people brought me in, and someone managed to make my life worse.

She didn’t have the capacity to feel bad for me, and tried to find a silver lining.

COURT: You had a home.

I shrugged, because that didn’t mean what she thought it did.

ROUX: It’s just a house. It was never my home.

I gave up on trying to pull the door closed, and let it go before starting to make my way down the hallway. If she wanted to follow, I was more than okay with that, but I was done being forced to have this conversation.

COURT: Roux, don’t j--

I didn’t even bother turning around.

ROUX: I got places to be, and people to see that actually give a damn. Good luck with your title and all that.

I waved back over my shoulder and made my way down the stairs and out the back door without anyone else stopping me. As soon as the open air hit my lungs I felt like I was finally able to breathe again. As much as it hurt, it was just another chapter of my life closed. I tried to stay focused on writing the next one.



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>My Story
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”In just two days I get to take on Caleb Storms and Nakita Niles….”

We hear Roux’s voice before the video fades in. The camera is positioned behind her, pointed towards the ring in front of her. The chairs all around her are all empty, even though they will be filled with screaming fans in just 48 short hours.

”....I guess it could be worse.”

She shrugs her shoulders and gives a wink back over her shoulder to the camera before continuing.

”I mean Caleb Storms ain’t shit, and ain’t ever been shit.”

She laughs, clearly familiar with his Sin City work from the years spent watching her older sibling compete on the same shows.

”....and I don’t even know who the fuck Nakita Niles is despite the fact that she has a pretty impressive resume.”

She was willing to concede that at the very least her opponent was significantly more experienced than she was.

”I mean Nakita had a year in 2022 that I am looking to have this year. She was named rookie of the year. She apparently stole the show almost every time that she competed, had some of the greatest matches in that company that year, and all of that culminated in being named Female of the Year. I don’t think you could dream up a better start in this industry. She has already checked all of the boxes that I am hoping to check off when award season comes around in Sin City. Despite the fact that I had no idea who she was before this tournament, there is nothing that I can say about her that can negate that she is clearly as good as she thinks she is.”

”Yet… she left that company because apparently they didn’t value her there. I find that hard to believe given that she won just about every award she was eligible for in her rookie year. I mean, this chick rose all the way up the ladder in that company and has competed for main event level championships since she basically kicked down the door. However, despite her meteoric rise, it appears that she has lost some momentum. She went to a new company and flamed out. She tried a third, and who knows what happened there, but now she is here in Sin City Wrestling. Granted, that is the story for a lot of people. They gain a little success elsewhere, and then turn up here for the big tournament in the Spring. I can’t really hold that against her.”

”...what I can hold against her is that she has apparently already peaked in this industry. She made a huge splash when she first came on the scene, but all signs point to it being tough sledding since people got accustomed to her. She hasn’t been creative enough to reinvent herself since first stepping into the ring. Once people were able to scout her, it didn’t matter that she was a former marine, or bigger and stronger than most women in the business. People found out her tricks. People started poking at her weaknesses, and since the moment they cracked the code, Nakita ain’t been worth a damn. She ended up in Sin City for this tournament because it really feels like she has fallen ass-backwards out of favor everywhere else that she has been. I may not know much, but I know that wrestling companies aren’t going to just let you walk away if you’re talented. I know that companies hate losing the competitors that fans pay money to see. So when I see someone that has barely put in two years, but has already been all over the map, all I see is someone who is going to flame out.”

”....and that is why I didn’t rush into signing anywhere before I was ready.”

”This might be my first match, in my first company, but all that means is that I did my homework. I didn’t just jump at the first opportunity. I didn’t take the first deal that was offered to me, even if it wasn’t really what I was looking for. I made the decision that I was going to wait until something felt right, because I don’t want to be some career journeywoman that pops up everywhere that offers me a shiny new opportunity. I don’t want to hop around winning championships that nobody has ever heard of and main eventing shows that nobody is watching. I wanted to come here, and I wasn’t willing to settle for anything less.”

”...and Nakita trying to fail upwards into this tournament is laughable, but not as laughable as the man that she has been paired with.”

”Caleb Storms should have stayed retired. When people were talking about familiar faces that they were hoping would show up for the tournament, his ugly mug wasn’t what they were talking about. It was hard to get people hyped up for him back when he was here every single week. This is the same guy that J2H handed the Internet Championship to as a fucking joke. I have no idea how he was able to hold any championship multiple times, let alone two of the titles in this company. He hasn’t ever been anything other than a punchline.”

”I won’t even lie. When I saw that I drew Bill Barnhart as a partner, I wasn’t sure that it could have gotten any worse than that. I didn’t even realize until the card came out and I saw my opponents that things certainly could have been a lot darker. I mean nobody in the world would have given Bill and I a chance to get out of the first round before this matchup was made. People know my name, but have never seen me compete, and I am not sure anyone remembers the last time that Bill actually won a match. However, when faced with a career jobber like Caleb Storms, our chances started to look pretty good. Vegas betting lines have this match as a push, which I feel says more about our opponents than it does about us.”

”...but all I can do is my part. I can’t promise that Bill and I are going to go out and upset the whole world by winning this match. I can’t really step into the ring when he is in there with Caleb, so I have to trust that the big man will be able to stay on his feet. The only thing that I can control is keeping my own two shoulders off of that mat, because if Nakita thinks that I am going to end my first night on the job tapping out she’s got another thing coming. I’d rather die. If she wants to be the one to pick up the win for her team, she’s going to have to knock me out because as long as I can move, I’m not stopping. No bells. No tags. No distractions are going to stop me from making a real first impression, so Nakita better hope that Caleb is going to have better luck with Bill.”

”Then again, with the way I am feeling, we might not even see either of the men step into the ring unless she runs away to tag Caleb. I’m not too keen on standing on the apron to watch Bill throw away this opportunity for me. I am the type of person to keep my fate in my own hands. I guess we will see if Nakita feels the same way.”

”This might be my first time around, but I’m not scared of what lies ahead of me in these next two days.”

”I know that this is just the first stop on a really long, winding road.”

”This is my story.”

”...and I’m ready to write my first chapter on Sunday.”