The scene fades in on board of the cruise ship for SCW's Summer XXXtreme, in one of the halls amongst the cabins where the SCW superstars have been placed. A moment later, walking around the corner is one of the ship's bellhops, pushing along a cart full of bags and followed closely behind by Nick Jones and Diana Roberts. As they walk up to one of the rooms, the bellhop stops in front of it, stepping aside out of the way of the door as he looks towards Nick while motioning to the door.
Bellhop: This is your room, sir.
Nick: Great, thanks.
Nick walks up to the door and goes to open it as he notices the bellhop to still be standing there and staring at him. Realizing the situation, Nick lets out a groan before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. He then proceeds to pull out some cash and hand it over to the bellhop, who smiles widely.
Bellhop: Thank you so much, sir.
Nick: Yeah, yeah... whatever.
Nick waives the bellhop off who turns and starts to walk away as Nick opens up the door to his and Diana's cabin room. As soon as the door opens, Nick's expression quickly changes to one of annoyance and he spins around and calls after the bellhop.
Nick: Whoa, whoa... get your ass back here, buddy.
The bellhop stops and turns around, seeming rather confused as to whether Nick is talking to him.
Bellhop: Who? Me?
Nick: Yeah, you. Let's get moving.
The bellhop is quick to oblige as he rushes back over to outside of the room where Nick and Diana stand. As soon as he reaches them, Nick points through the open doorway.
Nick: What the hell is this?
Bellhop: I'm sorry sir, I'm not sure I understand what you're asking.
Nick: This in front of us. What is it? This sure as hell isn't my room.
Bellhop: Are you sure? This is the room that was listed on your boarding pass and the key worked for it.
Nick: No, no, I don't think you understand. I don't give a crap what room you idiots think I'm in, what I'm telling you is this little hole in the wall is not where I'm staying.
Bellhop: I'm sorry, is there a problem with the room?
Nick: Damn right there is, this room is smaller than my damn closet back home. I'm supposed to have one of the big, top notch suites, not one of these sorry little holes designed for the winless losers of SCW. You need to look into this and see what is going on.
Bellhop: Well, um...
The bellhop is left unsure of what to say, but Nick seems to have no patience for it.
Nick: Go figure this mess out.
The bellhop stands staring blankly at Nick for another moment.
Nick: NOW!
After Nick's loud and forceful demands, the bellhop quickly scurries off from the direction that they came, while Nick watches him shaking his head. As the bellhop disappears out of sight, Nick turns back to Diana.
Nick: Can you believe this crap?
Diana: I don't know, is it really THAT bad? Sure it's small, but how much time are we really going to spend in the room?
Nick: Even if you're right, it's a matter of principle. Here, let's take a look at this crap.
Nick walks into the room, followed right behind by Diana. As they enter, the entirety of the room can be seen. It's small and simple enough, with a dresser setup with a TV on it, a small closet and in the middle of the room, one queen-sized bed. The bed is the first thing that draws Nick's attention as he motion towards it.
Nick: I mean, do you see this crap? A queen, for the two of us? Seriously? We're not in high school, how about a real bed for a couple of real adults. And hell, this closet doesn't have enough room for my stuff, never mind the endless pile of crap that you made us lug along.
Diana: I'm not the one who needed a full extra crap for my stuff.
Nick: Oh, I'm so sorry that I needed to bring my ring gear for a wrestling show. What a crazy thought for me to think that of the two of us I'd actually, you know, earn us some damn money.
Diana: Whatever, this is stupid to fight about. Who gives a crap how big the closet is, we can just keep everything in our bags.
Nick: Or they can just give us the damn room we deserve. Did you see that tiny little bathroom they gave us? I'm going to have to stand in the shower just to take a piss in the toilet.
Diana: Who are you kidding? You'd be just as likely to piss in the shower anyway, even if the bathroom was ten times that size.
Nick: Hardy-freakin'-har. You're such a comedian.
Diana: Sometimes you just make it too easy.
Nick: We'll see how funny you think it is when you don't have room on the sink counter to have your 30 types of makeup, 15 different hair products, five brushes and 2 hair dryers.
Diana: It'll be fine, I'll just make you hold it all for me.
Diana flashes a big smile at Nick who simply returns a scowl in her direction. Before the conversation can continue any further, the door that they left open behind them has the bellhop come back through it, this time with a print-out in his hand. Nick sees him come in and shoots a dirty look in his direction, speaking before the bellhop has any chance to do so.
Nick: Well? Did you fix this or what?
Bellhop: I seem to have found out what happened. You are correct in that this is not the room that was originally booked for you, you were booked to have one of our master suites.
Nick: See? I told you so. Good, now grab our stuff and get us over to our suite.
Bellhop: I'm sorry, I can't do that sir. You see, the issue is that your reservation was changed after the initial booking.
Nick: What the hell are you talking about?
Bellhop: It seems about a month back, someone in the SCW's front office contacted the cruise line's reservation department and changed around the room reservations, swapping rooms between you and the person who previously had been booked for this room. It's all right here.
Nick: Give me that.
As the bellhop is going to show Nick what he is looking at on the printout, Nick rips it right out of his hand and stares at it.
Nick: Who the hell is Jake Sullivan?
Nick looks to Diana to see if she has any idea, but she simply shrugs in response.
Diana: I'll be damned if I know.
After thinking for a moment, Diana suddenly seems to come to an epiphany.
Diana: Hold on a second.
Diana pulls her cell phone out from her purse and quickly starts to punch away on it. After a few moments she holds the phone out to show Nick.
Diana: See? You just have to love wikipedia.
Nick leans in and looks at the phone and after a moment of reading, the look of anger on his face only grows worse until it is suddenly followed by an outburst.
Nick: RAGE?!? Are you freakin' kidding me?!?
Nick quickly spins around and glares at the bellboy.
Nick: Wait a second. When the hell did you say this switch happened?
Bellhop: Um... hold on. I'll just check that on there if you don't mind.
The bellhop slowly and cautiously reaches towards Nick, eventually pulling the printout from Nick's hand that he had taken from the bellhop. He then quickly reads it over before answering.
Bellhop: The reservation changed took place on July 2nd.
Nick: Oh, you have GOT to be freakin' kidding me!
Diana: What is it honey?
Nick: Those rat bastards in the front office gave that big dumb animal my room the day after that heaping pile of crap STOLE my SCW Heavyweight Championship from me!
Diana: Wow, talk about rubbing some salt in the wound.
Nick: That's putting it mildly. The fact that those idiots even let that match decision stand was insulting enough, but to act like that clown is anything more than some lucky piece of garbage who only still has that title because his only defense ended in a draw is a joke.
Nick turns his attention back to the bellhop.
Nick: This is unacceptable! What the hell are you going to do about it?
Bellhop: I'm sorry sir, but there's nothing that I can do about it.
Nick: Well then I guess I better go talk to someone who can. Come on babe, let's get out of here.
Nick takes Diana by the hand and storms off out of the room, shoving the bellhop aside in the process and leaving him confused and alone in their cabin room. Nick and Diana go charging down the hall as the scene fades.
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The scene fades back in to what is clearly the hall of the high-end suites of the cabins just as Nick and Diana come storming into the scene. Nick then proceeds to take Diana right up to one of the doors and starts pounding away on it. After a couple of seconds, someone can be heard walking up to the door and after would seem to be the person checking the peephole, a sigh can be heard and then the voice of someone grumbling to himself.
Voice: Oh, this ought to be good.
The door can then be heard unlocking and as it opens up, standing in the doorway is none other than SCW Co-Owner "Hot Stuff" Mark Ward.
HS: I take it by that very familiar look on your face, you're pissed about something. What is it this time?
Nick: You gave my suite to that dipshit Rage, you limey shithead!
Hot Stuff hesitates at first, a look of confusion coming across his face.
HS: I did?
Nick: Well apparently someone did. I'm in some little shithole of a room and was told I got bumped out of my suite for Rage the day after he stole my belt.
HS: Oh... really? That really sucks, huh?
Nick: Is that supposed to be fun.
HS: Not really, I just want to know what the hell you want me to do about it.
Nick: In case you forgot, you're the co-owner of the company who rented out this whole boat you dumbass.
HS: No kidding? I hate to break it to you, but I've had more important things to worry about than who gets booked into each individual room of this giant ass boat. All of that crap was taken care of by a bunch of our lackeys.
Nick: Well your lackeys seemed to do a fine enough job making sure you got the nicest room available.
Nick looks past Mark, seeing the significantly larger and fancier suite that he is staying in.
HS: Of course they did. These lackeys may be stupid, but even they aren't THAT stupid. The difference here is I can fire them, you can't.
Nick: Yeah, but I can still kick their asses.
HS: You really want to give Christian the excuse he needs to fire your ass?
Nick: You'd really let that nitwit partner of yours get rid of the biggest, most sure thing money maker this industry has to offer?
HS: Hey, you're the idiot who signed your contract with him and not me.
Nick looks as though as he wants to respond, but is left without anything to come back with.
HS: Did I just render the immortal Nick Jones speechless? I'll be damned, there's a first time for everything.
Nick: Maybe I can return the favor by shoving my fist down your throat.
HS: That didn't last long. Not that I should be surprised.
Nick: You're just too funny. So what the hell are you going to do about this?
HS: About your room situation? Absolutely nothing. Catch you later, yank.
With that, Mark steps back into his room, slams the door shut right in Nick's face and the door can then be heard locking. Nick's face turns red with anger and he stands there staring at the door for a little while before eventually turning and storming off, leaving Diana behind in the process. Diana waits until Nick gets out of sight and leans in towards the door, talking through the door to Mark.
Diana: Thanks a lot. As if he wasn't already in a pissy enough mood for me to have to deal with.
HS: Better you than me.
Diana: The difference is I always have an old standby of how to cheer him up. You, on the other hand, may be made to live to regret this one. Especially since I could make things ever worse for you if I really wanted. But you have fun in there, sweetie.
Diana laughs to herself a bit and walks off after Nick. A couple of seconds later, the door opens back up and Mark peeks his head out, watching as they walk off.
HS: Ah, crap. That one might come back to bite me in the ass.
Mark lets out a sigh, realizing the truth behind Diana's last comment as he closes the door back up and locks it once again as the scene cuts back to follow Nick and Diana. Nick is seen storming off down the hall with Diana doing her best to chase Nick down. Diana calls after Nick along the way, but gets no reaction until she finally catches up to Nick and grabs him by the arm to get his attention as she talks through her panting.
Diana: Hey, hold up ya jerk! Remember, I had nothing to do with what's pissing you off so much, so don't take it out on me.
Nick: I'm not taking it out on you. I just figured I better get out of there before I ended up slapping the taste out of one of the co-owners mouths.
Diana: You know, he has a point, it's not really his fault either.
Nick: Whatever. It's a load of crap is what it is.
Diana: I'll certainly give you that, but I don't think you need to get so upset over it.
Nick: You're the one telling me not to get so upset over something? Holy crap, if that's not a slap to the face I don't know what is.
Diana: Listen smart ass, all I'm trying is there's ways around this. Don't forget, you booked rooms for those idiot employees of yours too.
Nick: Yeah, so? What's your point?
Diana: My point is there are other options out there. At least check out the rooms they have. If they're nicer, we can just hang out with them you know.
Nick: Hang out with them? Forget that crap, if their rooms are nicer, we'll just take one of their rooms for ourselves. I'm paying for this shit!
Diana: Now that is a very good point. See? When we work together, we get results.
Nick: That's what I'm talking about. Of course the question is, did those boobs even make it back to the ship in time?
Diana: That's a very good question. Maybe we should see if we can go and track them down.
Nick: If not, then we'll have our room AND their rooms, so maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.
Diana: Yeah, but then you're going to keep asking me to do all the crap you always make them do, so I'm still kind of hoping they made it.
Nick: In that case, how about I go hit the bar and you go and see if you can find them?
Diana: Sure, if you want to avoid this whole room issue all together by having to spend your entire week sleeping on the deck. Now I suggest we better start looking for them.
Diana flashes a smile at Nick and then walks off, as he just scowls at her before following along as the scene fades.
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The scene cuts back in some time later, to see Nick and Diana still roaming the halls in the area of the cabins, both looking exhausted and annoyed as they stomp along, Diana now holding her high heels in her hands while Nick holds her purse for her. As they reach the end of yet another hallway and come to the main stairway, the two stop and look at each other.
Nick: So those idiots at the front desk can't seem to figure out where the hell they put them, it seems like we can't get a damn cell phone signal for shit out here and we've gone up and down these damn halls for who knows how long and can't find them. I think it's about time to assume those dipshits missed the boat all together.
Diana: I'm with you. At this point even if they're here, I don't think I even give a crap, let's just pretend like they're not.
Nick: Sounds like a plan. Let's go get a damn drink.
Diana: Yeah a drink... or 10.
Nick: That's the spirit.
Diana laughs at Nick's comment, although he simply looks at her confused.
Nick: I don't get it, what's so funny?
Diana: We were talking about alcohol.
Nick: Yeah?
Diana: And you said "spirit".
Nick: So?
Diana: A spirit is like, what people call alcohol and stuff.
Nick: Oh yeah.
Nick starts to chuckle and Diana begins to once again as well. After a moment of it, they both catch themselves and can't seem to believe what they're laughing at.
Nick: Ok, that's evidence enough for me. We either need to have a drink or get some sleep now.
Diana: You're not kidding. I vote for the drink.
Nick: Good, let's go.
Nick and Diana turn and start to walk up the main staircase to head up to the deck, but after only a few steps, Diana reaches up and grabs Nick by the arm, stopping him.
Diana: Do you hear that?
Nick: Hear what?
Diana: Ssssshhh... listen!
As they both get quiet for a moment, a voice can be heard yelling somewhere off in the background.
Nick: It's just so stupid goomba screaming in italian.
Diana: Yeah, exactly! You know that could only be...
Nick: Tony! Holy crap, those idiots actually made it.
Diana: It sounds like it's coming from further downstairs. Let's go!
Nick and Diana both turn back down the stairs and start to race down the flights as quickly as possible. As they get down to the each of they next, they listen in to see if the sounds are coming from that floor, but keep continuing on as it's still coming from below, although getting a bit louder the further down they go. Finally the screams reach an all new volume, just as they hit the very bottom of the stairway. As they hit the bottom of the stairs, Nick and Diana look to each other before continuing.
Nick: What the hell are they doing all the way down here? They don't have rooms this far down, do they?
Diana: I wouldn't think so. Then again, you did book these clowns in the "cheapest accommodations".
Nick: You bring up a good point there, but... damn, not even I meant to stick them down in the pit of the boat.
Diana: I have a funny feeling we're not exactly going to want to switch rooms with any of them.
Nick: Who knows, maybe if their rooms are all next to each other and ajoining we can do something with it.
Diana: Well let's go find out.
Nick and Diana proceed onward, falling the familiar voice down a hallway until they turn and see Tony Capicelli standing in the hallway, outside of a door as he pounds on it and screams. The two of them walk right up behind Tony and after watching him go on for a few more moments with a bit of amusement out of the situation, Nick eventually taps Tony on the shoulder. Tony is quick to spin around with fists raised, but about seeing his employer, is sure to drop them immediately.
Tony: Oh, hey boss, what is yous guys doin' down here?
Nick: Looking for you goons, what else do you think?
Diana: What are you doing out here anyway?
Tony: Dat big doof got da only key ta dis room and he friggin fell asleep in dere or sumtin, so I'm tryin' a wake his ass up. Da nerds tried to see if dey could go find somebody ta open dis damn t'ing.
Nick: Well why do you need to get in there? Can't you got into one of the other rooms?
Tony: What otha' rooms?
Nick: Hold on. You guys only have one room?
Tony: Yeah.
Diana: Are you serious? How the hell did that happen?
Tony: I dunno. We's figured dats what you's booked. I ain't gonna be one to complain or nuttin'.
Nick: I honestly don't know what the hell I booked. I just told the lady to book you guys something and Max cut the check.
Diana: I guess that's what happens when you say "cheapest accommodations".
Nick: Yeah, no kidding. Well at least with 4 of you in there you've got to have a bigger room than the closet the two of us have. Let's get in there.
Tony: I'm tellin' ya boss, ain't nuttin' gonna wake up dis guy.
Nick: I beg to differ. Watch and learn my greasy gizno friend.
Nick then moves close into the door, leaning his head right up against it. Nick then taps the door lightly and follows it up with a quiet whisper into the door.
Nick: Oh Bernaaaaaard.
Nick then backs off from the door and a moment later, stomping around can be heard going on inside of the room and then the door flies open, with a clearly just awaken Big B standing on the other side, glaring out into the hallway, seeming to be blinded by the hall lights.
Big B: Who said that?!?
Nick: It's me dumbass, now get your ass back inside, we're coming in.
Big B rubs his eyes and takes a closer look at Nick.
Big B: Oh, hey cuz. You could have just knocked you know.
Ton glares at Big B, and makes a move at him as if he's going to hit him, but Nick quickly steps between them and pushes Tony back, as Big B is completely oblivious to the situation and turns and walks back into the room. Nick, Diana and Tony walk into the room and as they do, Tony hits the lights of the room back on. As he does so, Nick and Diana look on in shock, seeing a room even smaller their own, filled with nothing more than two full sized beds.
Nick: Holy crap. Please tell me I misunderstood that conversation and this is the room that just the two of you are sharing.
Big B: Well yeah, of course.
Nick: Oh good. Where the hell are Jimmy and Max staying then?
Big B: Oh, they're sharing this room with us too.
Diana: But B, you just said that this was just the two of you.
Tony: Don't listen ta him, dis guy's even more stupid afta' he just woke up den usual.
Nick: That's saying something. So the four of you are sharing this one tiny ass room with two FULL sized beds? Holy crap, and I was bitching about the queen me and Diana are sharing.
Tony: Well I's told ya cousin here we should tell those two scrawny little weasels to sleep on da damn floor, but he ain't havin' none of it.
Big B: It'll be fine. I have a great sleeping arrangement all sorted out. You see...
Nick: Let me stop you right there. I really don't even want to know. Frankly, I don't even want to be in this room anymore, it's too damn depressing.
Big B: No way, it's not depressing. It's a blast! I've never had roommates before!
Diana: What about college?
Big B seems only confused while the question, while both Nick and Tony look at Diana with looks of complete, dumbfounded shock on their faces. After a moment, Diana seems to become aware of the ridiculousness of her statement.
Diana: Yeah, never mind... I'm a little tired, you'll have to excuse me. Yeah, so how about those drinks, huh?
Nick: You read my mind. Let's go hit that bar. I need to get some relaxation in to start this trip. Need to be all ready to go for the big match this weekend.
Big B: Yeah, and on Sunday those guys you're facing, they'll...
Big B can't even finish his sentence as he starts to hysterically laugh, as Nick, Diana and Tony all look at him with confusion. Big B composes himself before trying again.
Big B: Sorry about that. Those guys are going to be cr...
B bursts into laughter again, now drawing looks of annoyance from the other three. He is quick to stop the laughter and finally seems to completely calm himself before continuing again.
Big B: Sorry, I'm good this time I swear. So your opponents for this Sunday, they'll by cruising for a bruising!
Big B starts laughing all over again, while the other three give him the familiar look of thinking he's a complete idiot. As B notices they aren't laughing he is quick to turn his attention back to them.
Big B: CRUISING for a bruising! GET IT?!?
B starts laughing again as Nick shakes his head at his cousin. Nick eventually turns around and walks right out the door, followed right behind by Diana and Tony, leaving B alone in the room, still laughing. As B notices he's been left behind, he seems confused by what has just happened.
Big B: Wait! Where are you guys going! It was a really funny joke, let me explain it to you!
Big B goes chasing after Nick, Diana and Tony, closing the door behind him as the scene fades out.
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A few days later...
The scene fades into the poolside area at the deck of the cruise ship, where a number of both SCW's talent and fans can be seen lounging around, swimming and of course, enjoying a few drinks as well. Two recognizable faces who are out enjoying the sun are Nick and Diana, who are both currently laid out in lounge chairs. Nick is in his bathing suit with sunglasses on and listening to his iPod, as Diana sits on her chair wearing a sun dress and reading a book. After a few more moments, Diana folds the page on her book and puts it down, before then standing up and pulling off her sun dress, showing that underneath she has on the very revealing bathing suit she had a debate with Nick over bringing. As she strips down to that bathing suit, it is quick to gain Nick's attention, as he sits up from his lounge chair and lowers his sunglasses, peering over them as he looks Diana up and down. A smile comes across his face before he begins to speak.
Nick: Damn babe, you're looking great in that thing, although I'm really starting to think I may have been right in the first place when I told you not to bring that thing.
Diana: Oh stop, it'll be fine. What do you possibly think is going to happen?
Nick: I don't know, but I already want to punch of few of these dumbasses sitting around us who I can see are gawking at you.
Diana: Let them look all they want, but that's not going to get them anywhere.
Nick: Yeah, whatever.
Nick seems displeased by the situation, but has no interest in carrying the debate on any further as he pushes the sunglasses back up over his eyes and lays back down into the lounge. Meanwhile, Diana reaches into her bag and pulls out suntan lotion and starts to apply it. Diana starts off with the front of her body, applying lotion all over and rubbing it in before moving onto her shoulders. As she struggles to get her shoulders and back properly covered, she is about to turn to Nick for help, but before she can do so, she is approached by another man from the poolside area, who is wearing his bathing suit and drying himself off as he just came out from the pool.
Man: Hey there honey, you need some help?
Diana: Um, no. I'm fine, thanks for the offer though.
Man: You sure about that? You don't want to get burned. Besides, I can promise I'll make it feel real good.
Diana: Yeah, that's great and all, but I'm pretty sure my boyfriend wouldn't exactly appreciate this.
Meanwhile, Nick seems to have become aware of the man talking to Diana, but chooses not to get involved. However, it is quite clear that Nick is paying closer attention as Nick takes his headphones out of his ears and starts to watch on from another lounge over. The man seems to be unaware of the fact that Nick is the boyfriend Diana is referring to.
Man: Well if he were all that concerned about that, I would imagine he'd be here to help you out with this himself, don't you think?
Diana: Well actually...
Man: Let me guess, he's probably off at the bar or in the casino or some crap like that. You deserve better than a scumbag like that.
Diana: Is that so?
Man: Damn right, sweet cheeks. Besides, I bet your man doesn't look like this.
The man then flexes his muscles, showing off for Diana. While he's in pretty decent shape, it is rather apparent this man is a fan and not a wrestler. At this sight, Diana can't help but laugh as she shakes her head.
Diana: Well I'll give you that. He certainly doesn't look like... that.
Man: See? I knew it. He's some probably some scrawny little punk, or some overweight loser. Come on toots, ditch the zero and get with the zero.
Diana bursts into laughter at the man's last comment.
Diana: Seriously? That's the best you've got?
Man: Yeah, that was corny, but I was trying to bring a little levity to the situation. Come on, there's no harm in us talking and me putting some lotion on you. Just trying to help you from getting burned.
Diana: Yeah, that's great and all, but I promise you, my boyfriend not take that particularly well. If I had to guess, even this little exchange right here probably is enough to make him quite unhappy.
Man: Geez, he's got you on that short of a leash?
Diana: Oh no, I'm not worried about him being pissed at me. I'm more worried about how pissed he'd be at you.
Man: Well don't worry about that, I can promise you I'm not. There's no need for a man like me to be afraid of some weak little boy.
Diana: I'm not sure that's a particularly accurate portrayal.
Man: Yeah whatever, the point is there's nothing for me to be afraid of. How about I make you a deal? If you drag that loser boyfriend of yours over here, me and him will go one on one. If, no WHEN, I kick his puny little ass, you toss him aside and join up with me. What do you say?
Diana: Now THAT sounds like an interesting proposition.
Man: So is that a yes?
Diana subtly shoots a look over in Nick's direction, who's only response is to have a huge smile grow across his face. Diana turns back to the man in question with a smile of her own.
Diana: You've got a deal!
Man: Awesome. You let me know when that putz shows up and we'll settle this.
Diana doesn't even say a word, and Nick stands up from his lounge chair and walks up towards the two of them, pulls off his sunglasses and looks straight at the other man.
Nick: Hey there, buddy.
The man looks at Nick at which point a look of shock and a smile comes across his face.
Man: Holy shit man! You're Nick Jones! You're friggin' awesome man!
Nick: Thanks, I couldn't possibly agree more.
Man: Seriously dude, you're my favorite. There's nobody out there who's ass you can't kick.
Nick: It's funny you say that.
Man: Why? What's going on man?
Nick turns to Diana and as the two look at each other, they laugh as they realize the man is completely oblivious to Nick's relationship to Diana. Nick then turns back to the man.
Nick: Oh nothing, just getting ready for a fight is all.
Man: Yeah I know, you got that big match on Sunday.
Nick: Not just that, I've got a little warm-up ready for before that. You see, I'm just about ready to start kicking some dipshit's stupid ass all over this pool deck.
Man: No kidding? That's awesome man! I can't wait to see that! Who's the poor dumbass stupid enough to piss you off?
Nick: That's a good question.
Nick then takes a step closer to Diana and proceeds to put his arm around her, pulling her in close to him as a big smile comes across his face. The man looks at the two of them confused for a minute, before the realization suddenly comes to him. It takes only a moment before he starts stumbling backwards and stuttering his way through all of his attempts at speech.
Man: Well, um... uh... look at the... uh... time... and, uh... stuff. I've got to... um... run. It was like... great meeting you... both of you... and all that stuff. Yeah, um... bye. Good luck Sunday!
The man then turns and runs off as fast as possible, leaving Nick and Diana standing behind laughing. As he gets out of sight, Nick turns back to Diana.
Nick: Now granted, that was fun, but THAT is the crap I'm talking about when I say you shouldn't be wearing that crap in front of these walking piles of dung.
Diana: Yet in the end, absolutely nothing happened, just like I said it wouldn't. Now if you wouldn't mind, how about you put some sun tan lotion on my back before I go track that schmuck down and let him do it.
Nick: Fine. Take a seat.
Diana sits down on her lounge chair as Nick sits on his right behind her. Diana passes Nick the bottle of lotion and he starts to run it on her back as the conversation continues.
Nick: The only point is if this crap keeps up, I'll have to kick half this boats ass even before I step into the ring to kick five more asses on Sunday.
Diana: Oh, it's not that bad. You're being dramatic.
Nick: Maybe so, but I don't see the benefit in it. Sure I get to see you in this too, but I also get to see you in even less, so I think I could live without that.
Diana: You forget the point I brought up to you when we discussed this the first time.
Nick: Oh yeah? What's that?
Diana: All of the free stuff a hot chick in a tiny bikini gets!
Nick: It's funny you say that, because we haven't got one single damn thing for free since we got here. So it doesn't seem that really has much merit to it.
Diana: Well all of the damn bartenders and waitresses out here at poolside are chicks. There's not much I can do about that you know!
Nick: Sure there is, you can stop dressing like that.
Diana: Oh shut up. Besides, I think one of them might be a lesbian, so I just need to try give ordering from her a shot. I'll bet you anything I can get some free drinks out of her looking like this. I've definitely seen her eyeing me up since we've gotten here.
Nick: If you say so. How about you go and give it a shot then? I could use another drink.
Diana: Alright fine, I will.
Nick: Good, and I'm not going to give you any money, just to make sure you don't try to pull a fast one on me and say you got free drinks and it turns out it's a load of crap.
Diana: Well what about a tip?
Nick: Fine, but JUST the tip.
Nick and Diana think about what Nick just said for a moment and laugh before recomposing themselves. Nick then pulls a few singles out of his pocket and passes them on to Diana.
Nick: Now run along and work that magic for some free drinks.
Diana: Not a problem. I'll be back soon with our drinks.
Diana gets up and walks away towards the bar area as Nick lays back down on his lounge chair, putting his sunglasses back on and his earphones back in his ears. Nick hits play on his iPod and goes back to listening and relaxing.
A few minutes go by and as Nick is nearly falling asleep, his attention is suddenly grabbing as he feels a tap on his shoulder. He sits up and pulls out his earphones, turning to see Diana standing there and holding out his drink for him.
Nick: Well I'll be damned. I guess I need to have a little more faith in my lady.
Diana: You certainly should.
Nick: And you really got these for free?
Diana: Um... sure.
Nick: What do you mean by "sure"? That hardly sounded convincing.
Diana: Well obviously there was the tip.
Nick: Yeah... and?
Diana: Fine! I didn't get the damn drinks for free. Are you happy now?
Nick: But you only had a couple of bucks on you. How the hell did you get the drinks then? Did you get some guy at the bar to buy them for your or something?
Diana: Wait... damn! Why didn't I think of that?
Nick: Well then how did you get them?
Diana: I maybe, kind of, sort of... charged them to the room.
Nick: And you didn't happen to think that I would notice the room charge on our bill when checking out?
Diana: Yeah, like you wouldn't have just handed the bill to Max and made him pay it.
Nick: That's a very good point. You really shouldn't have come clean on this one.
Diana: I only did as a matter of principle. These...
Diana grabs two handfuls of her chest.
Diana: ... are going to get me something free, FOR REAL, before this week is done.
Nick: If you say so. Either way, thanks for grabbing the drinks.
Diana: No problem, hun. Now let's get drinking.
Nick and Diana take their two cups and cheers them before starting to drink back their booze. A moment later, a man wearing an SCW Staff t-shirt walks up to them and goes straight up to Nick.
SCW Staff: Excuse me, Mr. Jones. I was asked to come inform you that you are scheduled for a one-one-one interview in the main hall.
Nick: Really? Fine. Whatever. When do I have to be there.
SCW Staff: Actually, it's right now sir.
Nick: NOW?!? Are you kidding me with this crap?
SCW Staff: No sir, they sent me looking for you because they were wondering why you weren't already there.
Nick: Oh, here's a though, maybe because none of you fools ever actually bothered to TELL ME.
SCW Staff: Well we were unable to find you earlier, so we told your cousin Bernard and asked him to pass along the message.
Nick: If you seriously told B and expected it to get back to me than you're an even bigger idiot than he is.
SCW Staff: I'm sorry sir, but they really need you down there right now.
Nick: FINE!
Nick takes his drink and slams the rest of it back before standing up from his seat and looking back at Diana.
Nick: I'll be back soon, babe.
Nick leans down and gives Diana a quick kiss before turning back to the staff member.
Nick: Lead the way, dumbass.
The SCW staff member then proceeds to lead Nick along the way out of the poolside area to get the interview at the main hall as the scene fades.
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The scene opens up inside of the main hall where an interview set has been put together on the stage. Setup there are a backdrop promoting SCW and Summer XXXtreme with an extreme amount of lighting shining down on it and cameras placed in front of that. In the center of all of this is two tall, stool chairs with backs on them. In one of them is seated SCW Report Ms. Rocky Mountains while they other is currently empty. Rocky seems to be getting rather impatient, as she can be seen checking her watch repeatedly as she looks around the room. The somber mood quickly seems to change though, as the door to the hall bursts open and in storms Nick Jones. Every starts to scramble to get ready to begin shooting, although after a moment, Nick seems to gain the attention of many as they realized he's dressed only in a bathing suit, flip flops and sunglasses. Nick walks straight through all the crew workers, lighting and set items as he goes straight up to the chair next to Rocky and plops down.
Nick: Let's get this thing over with, alright?
RM: So nice of you to dress up.
Nick: What do you care?
RM: I don't know, I would have expected you to at least wear a shirt.
Nick: Well than maybe your moronic crew should give me more than a minute's notice for this interview while I'm sitting at poolside. I considered running back to the room and changing real quick, but then I figured it's just a stupid interview with some dumb bitch who only has this job because of her huge rack, so what do I give a crap?
RM: Excuse me?
Nick: What? You heard me. So cut the crap and let's get this thing rolling. The sooner I'm out of here the happier we'll both be.
RM: I won't argue with that.
Nick: If you think that's supposed to hurt my feelings, rest assured I really could not give less of a crap.
RM: Alright then...
Rocky looks out to the director who is standing behind the camera.
RM: We ready?
The director nods at Rocky and gives her a thumbs up, at which point she turns to the camera and begins.
RM: Hello SCW fans, I'm SCW Report Ms. Rocky Mountains and with Summer XXXtreme just days away, I am with one of the men who will be headlining this amazing show, former SCW Heavyweight Champion Nick Jones. Nick, thanks for being hear.
Nick: No problemo, Mistress Mammaries.
Rocky lets out a sigh and shakes her head at Nick before continuing on.
RM: So anyway, you have a big match ahead of you this coming Sunday, where you will step into the ring with 5 other men for a chance to regain your championship that you lost to Rage just over one month ago. Let's save the topic everyone is waiting to hear about for last and so we'll start off with another one of your opponents. So to start, why don't you tell us your thoughts on Kain. Over these past few weeks, between a lot of strong words exchanged and a number of attacks both in and out of the ring, why don't you tell us what's been going through your mind.
Nick: What's been going through my mind? Simple, the same as always, Kain is a putz. You know what, let me ask you a question Rocks. I was listening to Kain yammer on in his promo last week and did Kain, when addressing Rage, not go on and on about how Rage's victory over me was meaningless? Did he not tell Kain it was nothing more than a lucky moment?
RM: Yes, but...
Nick: No "but"s, that's what he said, plain and simple. It was one of the few things that loser ever said that I agreed with. Interesting follow-up question to that though, did Kain also not go on to address me and let me know how he felt Rage's win apparently wasn't luck and how that one match somehow proved something all about me, my reign and my entire career?
RM: Well... yes.
Nick: That's what I thought. So the bottom line is that Kain wants to talk about how full of shit everyone else supposedly is, and most of the rest of these clowns may be just that, but all Kain has proven is that he's the most full of shit of them all. I mean, think about it, this clown can't even keep from contradicting himself over the matter of a couple of minutes when talking about two of his opponents in the same match. So Kain, let me just remind you of a little something. In the one match that I did have verses Rage, one on one in the center of that ring, MY title on the line, when there wasn't an endless slew of people interfering and trying to screw me out of my belt, I won that match without even breaking a sweat. Consider the fact that I have literally beaten every single man in this match that I've ever faced before, and that includes you Kain, actually you would be right at the top of the list of who I've beaten the most, and done so every single time we faced off. You really want to sit there and try to classify me as being a "paper champion"?
Nick scoffs and shakes his head with a look of complete disgust on his face before proceeding.
Nick: That has to be the dumbest shit I've ever heard. And that's including all of the crap that comes out of the mouth of that dipshit cousin of mine. Newsflash pal, I am the longest reigning champion in the entire history of Sin City Wrestling. That's not just the Heavyweight Championship I'm talking about, but ANY championship and that reign was for the most hotly contested and sought after belt in this business. Let me remind you, that I have a grand total of ONE loss to my record. I defeated every single one of the wrestler's that the SCW higher ups put in front of me and in case you forgot little man, you were given your shot too... and you failed. Make all the excuses you want, I really don't give a crap, but the results are right there in black and white, and in the end, you tried and failed. So the question is Kain, if I am this so-called "paper champion", what the hell does that say about you? You are absolutely nothing Kain, and you have no clue what it takes to be a real champion. Just because you held some second rate title back in some second rate company before they finally got smart and decided they didn't want your useless ass around anymore proves absolutely nothing. You're just lucky that instead of SCW sending your ass packing too, they just decided to have one of the co-owners kick the crap out of you.
Nick laughs to himself before continuing.
Nick: Make all of the excuses you want, but the true, indisputable, verifiable fact is that Nick Jones is the best this company has to offer. I hold the company's best win-loss record, the company's longest title reign, I've headlined supercard after supercard and won every one of those matches. I was featured on NWA PPVs and am even one of their top rated wrestlers. Hell, for months and months I've been rated ahead of that loser Staggs who they kept giving NWA title shots to. What do you have Kain? Absolutely nothing. Nothing but a list of excuses. You can talk all you want about whatever nonsensical reasons you have for deciding that my endless list of accomplishments don't mean anything, but if they were so meaningless, then why have you shown no ability to achieve any of those things yourself? If I was such a joke of a champion, how come you could not beat me when given the opportunity? If you're such an indestructible force, how come I beat your ass and drove you out of SCW until you cowardly jumped me from behind after I had just finished, once again, successfully defending my SCW Heavyweight Championship in another SCW supercard main event against the best SCW could dig up to try to beat me. The truth is if you have no answers for any of this, because deep down inside, you know all of what was running out of your mouth is pure garbage and when this match is all said and done, you'll have continued on perhaps your most noteworthy accomplishment in your SCW career, an endless losing streak against yours truly.
Nick turns back to Ms. Rocky Mountains who seems left somewhat speechless but Nick's rather extension rant on the topic of Kain.
RM: Well then, this certainly wasn't the topic I expect you to have so much to say about.
Nick: What can I say, Kain's become like a little gnat to me, and it's time for him to learn that sooner or later, when you annoy somebody enough, you're going to get squashed.
RM: Ok then, why don't we move on to a topic I'm sure you'll have a little less to say about in Lucas Darby.
Nick laughs before responding to Rocky.
Nick: What the hell is there to talk about? I called this from a mile away the first time this kid stepped in the ring with the big boys. He's clearly not cut out for this and it's becoming more apparent by the day. I've been in the ring with him twice, and both times I've walked out a winner and he's walked out a loser. The last time around he could not have possibly looked more lost and out of place and the truth is it was only a matter of which of the three of us got to step into the ring with him which was going to determine which of us got the pin for our team.
RM: Don't you think that's perhaps a little harsh?
Nick: Maybe so, but if he wants to change my opinion then he better show up for the match this Sunday with a lot better display than what he put up last time around. Trust me, I know it takes time to develop into your very best and be able to consistently go toe to toe with the top guys, but don't expect everyone else to wait around for you in the meantime until you get there. Maybe Lucas just isn't there now and he'll get there someday in the future, but I really don't give a crap. He can come see me and the title I'll have gotten back on Sunday once he figures that all out for all I care, but until then he's just in my way, and I'm, not going to take it easy on him because of that. If anything, given the lack of a veteran ring presence compared to these other guys, his greatest benefit to this match might be giving me the opportunity to put him down quickly and get an early start to my celebration.
RM: Ok then, moving on, why don't you tell us more about someone you've had an interesting history with over the past few months, a former Roulette Champion who many say has you to blame for his "former" status, Bo Dreamwolf.
Nick: Ah yes, good ole Bo. Considering we're on a ship filled with booze and gambling he must feel right at home. All this boat needs to add is some inbreeding and his good buddy Austin could feel just the same. The truth is, Bo shouldn’t be blaming me for his lost title, he should be thanking me for it. Sure, he got to be the best of the SCW’s second rate, but what the hell is that worth? Now that he got rid of that useless piece of tin, he’s actually getting a chance to compete with the big boys. He's in a match for the SCW Heavyweight Championship, main eventing SCW's biggest supercard to date and getting to go toe to toe with such wrestling greats as, well... me. So Bo, let me just say "you're welcome". If it weren't for me, you would still be nothing more than some second rate protege of some second rate has-been and while that may still be the case, at least you're getting to experience what it's like to really be a first rate talent.
RM: Are you seriously suggesting you cost Bo the Roulette Championship on purpose and as a favor?
Nick: What? Of course not. I don't give nearly enough of a crap about Bo for that to be the case. I didn't even know I cost him that stupid piece of crap until everyone started blaming me for it. At first I took issue with that but then I came to realize, intentional or not, if I really was responsible for it, than I did that man a service. The least he can do is show me a little thanks for the great benefit I've provided to him. In the end though, I'm sure I'll do more than enough on Sunday to justify his bitterness towards me and take away and interest he may have in actually giving that thanks to me. Instead, on Sunday he'll learn why his teacher could never get over his envy and jealousy of me, and was always too scared to step in the ring against me, and why little boy Bo will have to just be the next best thing for me. After Sunday the fun will be over for him, but at least for now, just for a little while, he gets to see what it could be like to learn from a REAL wrestling icon, because I can assure you I'll be teaching him a few lessons in that ring.
RM: That brings us down to the two most interesting people we have to talk with you about tonight. While it may seem a little odd to some of those who may have missed our last episode of Climax Control, let's first go to the man who beat you for the SCW Heavyweight Championship, and the man who will ultimately be defending that title against you and all of these other men, Rage.
