[Alexis Edwards]

 Sunday November 15th
Havana, Cuba
Location: Tropicana Night Club
Immediately Following Climax Control
~*~ON CAMERA~*~

Is it supposed to feel like this?  By it I mean my first successful title defense, and by this I mean feeling fuckin’ NOTHING.  Shouldn’t I feel..I dunno..pretty fuckin’ elated?  Maybe even better than when I actually won the damn title?  I mean, the first title defense is supposed to be so damn important, so you’d think actually getting past that first defense would be a relief, right?

Apparently not!  After I beat that skanky whore, Amy, like I knew I would, I didn’t celebrate like most people would.  I didn’t focus on the fans in the audience one bit.  No, I yanked my title out of the referee’s hands and disappeared back to the dressing rooms.  Putting on a show in a night club is pretty fuckin’ strange to me, but what do I know, right?  I shouldn’t really complain because I could have headed on over to the bar and get a damn drink if I really wanted to.

Aside from watching Mikah retain the World Bombshell Championship…again…I didn’t really feel like paying attention to anything else in the show.  There was that little run in with Lyah Lindberg, but I’m trying to forget about that because that sweet little bitch pissed me off.  And sooner or later, I’ll make sure she gets what’s coming to her.  Too bad I have more important things to worry about than Lyah Lindberg.

People still don’t understand my friendship…if you really want to call it that…with Mikah.  Hell, I’m not sure I even really understand it at times, but that bitch knows what she has to do to keep her title.  She gets the job done so far be it from me to talk bad about her.  Not to mention, I like watching her make people eat their words in the end.  

It wasn’t long before the show ended that we found out the brackets for the second round of the Going For the Gold tournament.  Well, we were given a sheet of paper that listed all the matches on the card for next week’s show in Costa Rica.  I still haven’t bothered to look at it.  Once the show was over and the nightclub started to empty out a bit, I decided to head on over to the bar to grab a drink before heading back to the hotel for the night.  

The bartender hands me my beer, and I take a big gulp right away.  I don’t even know why type of beer this is, but it’s pretty fuckin’ nasty.  Oh well, a drink is a damn drink.  I sit at the bar alone for a few minutes, thinking to myself.  Just as I’m about to take another drink of my beer, a hand slaps my back, causing some of the beer to spill out of the glass and on the counter.  I narrow my eyes as I look to my right, where my least favorite thorn in my side is now sitting with a grin on her face.

Celeste: Oh shit!  Sorry, Lexi…Did I do that?

She lets out a laugh, knowing damn well she did.  I shake my hand and grab some napkins to clean up the mess, though I’m tempted to dump the rest of my drink over Celeste’s head.

Lex: Nah.  My whole arm just suddenly twitched and I spilled it myself.  Asshole.

Celeste: You might want to see a doctor about that twitch, doll face.  Or, wait…is that how you’re able to throw punches the way you do?  A twitch here and there?

She laughs again and I turn my head again and growl at her.

Lex: What the fuck do you want, C?  I’m not in the mood to deal with your bullshit right now.  So if you’re here just to annoy me, I’d highly recommend walking away before I dump the rest of my beer all over you.

Celeste: Geez, so testy tonight.  For a girl who just had her first successful title defense and is basically now a somebody, you should be happier, Lexi.  I mean, you got what you wanted!

Lex: You know what?  I love how you act like you know fuck all about what I want.  Newsflash, C, you really don’t know shit.

After I get the spilled beer cleaned up, I take another gulp from the glass hoping Celeste gets up and walks away.  Unfortunately, she doesn’t.  Instead she just remains in her chair, staring at me, slightly shocked.

Celeste: Girl, you seem extra bitchy tonight.  Is it red week, or are you having a serious case of PMS?  Either way—

Lex: Either way, what?!  Not that it’s any of your business, C, but if either of those were the case, I probably would have kicked your ass all over this night club by now.  Fuck!  I was content with just being fuckin’ bored and you had to walk up and ruin everything…

I finish off my beer, motioning to the bartender for another.  He nods his head and grabs another glass to fill my request.  Celeste rolls her eyes, but the bitch still doesn’t leave me alone.

Celeste: Content with being bored?  Do you even realize what the hell you just said, Lexi, because that’s seriously messed up.

Lex: I don’t care.

Celeste: Look, I’m sure you won’t believe me when I say this, but I wasn’t trying to piss you off and I sure as hell wasn’t planning on it either.  I don’t exactly enjoy you biting my head off every time we talk.  What the hell is your deal, anyway?

The bartender brings me my next beer and I waste no time and taking a huge gulp of that one also.  Celeste stares at me with a raised eyebrow.

Lex: What does it matter to you anyway?  You just think I’m trying to distance myself from being a Nobody.  Maybe because you want that to happen so you can be Queen C of the Nobodies…

She chuckles at that, and I can’t stop myself from doing the same.

Celeste: Shit and I didn’t think you were capable of witty remarks like that, Lexi.  Bravo!

I roll my eyes and stare down at the glass in front of me.  A part of me wants to take another drink, but the after taste of this shitty beer is starting to make me sick, so I hold off for now.

Celeste: We can’t be at each other’s throats all the time, Lexi.  It may be fun sometimes but I’m pretty sure Timbo is getting annoyed with the rumors flying around that there is a discord within the Nobodies, and it being your fault.

I snap my head to the side and glare at her.  Of course the bitch would blame me.  Because I’m always to blame for shit, right?  I glare at her, but she holds her hands up before I can snap a word at her.

Celeste: So…I’m here to be the loving sister type that I’m supposed to be and lend you a shoulder to cry on.  But seriously, don’t wipe your snotty nose in the process because that shit is just nasty.

I laugh and shake my head.  I couldn’t deny that as much as the bitch annoyed me almost all the time, she had a messed up sense of humor.

Lex: Why can’t you just let me drink in peace, C?

Celeste: One, because I’d really like to know why you’re so damn angry right now.  And two, because allowing you to drink any more of that disgusting crap you’re drinking would just be wrong on so many levels.  Seriously…just stop.

Just as I’m about to take another drink, she takes the glass from my hand and slides it down the bar and away from me.  The bartender glares at her for a moment before he takes the glass and dumps the contents.  I’m pissed for a moment or two, but in the end, there is no point.

Lex: I guess I should say thanks for doing me that favor, because if I took another drink of that shit I probably would have puked all over the bar.  But you’ve left me with one problem…

Celeste looks at me curiously, but I don’t give her the chance to ask.

Lex: I’m fuckin’ bored as shit right now.  Hell, I’ve been bored as hell for weeks now.  I’m really tempted to just say fuck it and do what that douchebag Kris Halc did and walk away for a few weeks.

Celeste: How the hell can you be bored?!  It used to be so easy for you to find trouble to cause, but now you just want to throw in the damn towel, put your tail between your legs and cry all the way back to Vegas?  That’d be a stupid move.

Lex: What the fuck am I supposed to do?  I’ve only had to deal with travelling for this stupid World Tour since July.  It’s starting to bore me just having to search for shit to do in each new country we go to.  Not to mention, all the bitches I’ve faced in SCW haven’t exactly made shit very exciting.  Well…everyone except you of course.

An arrogant smile appears on her face and I roll my eyes.

Celeste: Aww that is sooo sweet, Lexi.  I knew you enjoyed me kicking your ass as much as I did!  I’ll be more than happy to do it anytime.

I roll my eyes again, left slightly speechless.  She just lets out another chuckle, before getting back on topic.

Celeste: Seriously though, Lexi, you need to put on your big girl panties and quit being such a baby.  I swear if you do what that dickless asshole did and leave because you *air quotes* don’t like to travel, I’ll make it so you won’t have to travel ever again.  And in case you’re wondering, that means I’ll end your fuckin’ career myself.

Lex: Look, I know the tour ends in a few weeks, but I’m literally just sick of it all.  I’m bored with it all, C.

She takes in a deep breath and thinks for a moment.  I look away, almost getting lost in my thoughts again.  Before I do, though, I hear Celeste snap her fingers and I look back to her.

Celeste: Oooh, I’ve got just the thing!  And I bet it’ll make Timbo real proud, too.

Lex: Uh, dude…You’re excitement is just a tad bit scary, C.  Tone it down a notch, okay?

She rolls her eyes and I smile.

Celeste: You and me, Lexi…It’s time to prove to everyone we can play nice and not want to claw each other’s eyes out on a daily basis. You’ve got another triple threat match next week…I’m gonna get my hands on that Vargas bitch.  All of this week, though?  We’ll have some Nobody sisterly fun.  What do you say?

I shake my head and just as I’m about to object to her sudden idea, something she said hits me.  And I’m not happy about it.

Lex: Wait…what?  Triple threat match? ANOTHER TRIPLE THREAT MATCH?!

My eyes go wide but Celeste just grabs me by my shoulder, pulls me out of my chair and leads me away.  The whole time I’m yelling at her to tell me who I’m facing.  She’s too busy rambling about Costa Rica to even hear a word that I’m saying.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Okay.  I’ll admit it.  I complain a lot.  Maybe too much, but I honestly have good fuckin’ reason to complain all the damn time.  Prepare yourselves because I’m about to go on one serious rant right now.  If you don’t want to hear a fuckin’ word of it, better turn this shit off now, because I have to get this shit off my chest.

I didn’t sign up for this crap.  I didn’t sign this contract with SCW to get put in matches that don’t excite me in the slightest, but not only that…to keep getting put in the same fuckin’ matches over and over again!  At least lately it seems like that is the case, and it’s really pissing me off!

The first triple threat match I got myself into.  I have only myself to blame because I wanted to go after the Internet title.  I knew damn well a triple threat was possible if I was even given the shot so that…I didn’t really complain about.  But along comes the Going For The Gold tournament and the *air quotes* luck of the draw matches. Everyone else might fall for that bullshit, but I sure as shit don’t!

The very first match of the first round of the tournament and I’m booked in yet another triple threat match.  The second one in a row and that wasn’t it, either!  It was against Kate Steele and CELESTE!  Any other bitch other than Celeste and I might have believed the luck of the draw, but how do they expect me to believe that I was booked against my own stablemate out of sheer luck?!  Sorry, but I don’t.

I feel like I’m facing the same whores every single match.  Shit has to change and soon, because if not, I won’t put up with it for much longer.  I’m booked in my third triple threat match in a month’s time, and it’s quite fuckin’ irritating.  Oh, and here’s a little bit of information people probably haven’t figured out, but I’ll clue them into this, because I knew right away.

Three semi-final matches this week.  Three.  Ya know what that means?  Yep!  The final round will be another TRIPLE THREAT MATCH!  Which means, if I beat Melanie and Crystal this week and move on to face the winner of Raynin versus Sam Marlowe and Roxi versus Keira, I’ll have been the one to beat the most whores in this tournament just to get a shot at Mikah.  If I win this tournament, I will have single handedly defeated six bitches in three different triple threat matches.  

I shouldn’t be complaining, right?  I should look at it as a chance to brag more, right?  Fuck that!  Lyah Lindberg wants to walk around claiming they were making it more difficult for her to win the tournament, but if you ask me, they’re stacking the odds against me!  I mean, I already have one championship.  I’m pretty damn sure they don’t want me getting my hands on another…

…not that I want to take Mikah’s championship away from her…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Thursday November 19th
San Jose, Costa Rica
Location: Vitta Corporale Spa & Clinic
~*~OFF CAMERA~*~

I don’t know what the fuck I got myself into, but I’m already starting to regret it.  It was hard to tell Celeste no to this stupid ass “spa day” or whatever, especially after her literally saving my ass on that elevator at the hotel.  I don’t know what got into me or why I almost went off with those two douchebags, but it was a stupid move on my part.  Luckily C noticed their little plan before I did and she handled them, easily I might add.  And it was fun as hell to watch.

Anyway, after that, no matter how much Celeste annoyed me, I indulged her in her plans for us to bond or whatever the fuck she wants to call it.  This whole thing really isn’t necessary, because neither Celeste or I are the type to do this kinda shit, but again...whatever.  I guess we have to show we’re capable of doing girly things at some point, right?

Our cab has just dropped us off in front of the Vitta Corporale Spa in San Jose and just from the outside of the building, I’m already having my doubts.  This isn’t my type of place, and I’m suddenly getting a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Lex: Uhhh…C, can’t we find some other way to do this bonding shit or whatever?  I’d be a lot—

She immediately interrupts me before I can suggest something else.

Celeste: Hellll no…You’re not getting out of this!  This ain’t my type of thing, either, but I’m going to give it a shot.  You need it more than I do anyway, Lexi.

She gives me a smirk, but I narrow my eyes and frown.

Lex: I’m not some high maintenance bimbo who is worried about her looks all the damn time, C.

Celeste: Yeah and that’s why I’ve always wondered why the hell you’re friends with that bleach blonde Delia Darling wanna-be, Mikah.  Seriously!

I roll my eyes and shake my head as she drags me up to the front door.  She opens the door and shoves me inside, following behind me.

Lex: Can we not get on the Mikah argument again?  It’s getting old and it’s making you look like a jealous little bitch.

Celeste: The hell would I be jealous for?

Lex: Uhhh…maybe that I get along better with Mikah, and you are constantly annoying the shit out of me?  That seems like a good enough reason…

Celeste throws her head back and laughs as we stand a few feet away from the front desk.  The receptionist is standing behind the desk, staring at us.  Judging by the look on her face, our attire is making her pretty nervous.

Celeste: Whatever, Lexi.  I didn’t come here to talk about Mikah all day, so let’s just drop her name from the conversation.  Time to get plucked and waxed…or whatever it is they do.

Lex: Ugggh…

I reluctantly follow behind her she walks up to the front desk.  The receptionist puts on as friendly a smile as she can muster before greeting us…in Spanish.

Receptionist: Buenas tarde. Como puedo ayudarte hoy?

Celeste looks at me for a moment and I shake my head with a confused look.

Lex: Don’t look at me.  I didn’t take Spanish in high school.

Celeste turns back to the receptionist.

Celeste: Uhh…habla english?  Somebody?  Anybody?

Receptionist: Lo siento señorita.  No habla engles aquí.  Tienes una cita?

Celeste: Look, I don’t know what the hell you’re saying.  We just want to have a girly spa day.  Whatever it consists of.

Celeste continues to speak in English despite the fact the receptionist has no idea what she is saying.  At one point, she leans in close to her and whispers something to her.

Celeste: You might need a lot of wax for my little sis here.  I’m sure she’s never had a reason to trim the landscape if you know what I mean…

Unfortunately for Celeste, I hear every word she has said to the receptionist and I punch her as hard as I can in the arm.

Lex: You’re such an ass, C!

She looks at me with a laugh.

Celeste: And yet you don’t deny it.

She finally turns back to the receptionist and continues trying to speak to her in english.  The receptionist just looks at her with a blank stare on her face, not understanding her and Celeste is starting to grow agitated.  At one point, a middle aged woman that was seated in the waiting área walks up to us and taps Celeste on the shoulder.

Woman: Excuse me, miss?  Maybe the two of you should find something more suitable to do.  You’re being very rude to this nice young lady.

Celeste: Suitable?  The hell does that mean, bitch?!

The woman is taken back by not only Celeste’s outburst but her language as well.

Woman: You need an appointment for this spa, miss.  And judging by your…attire…you don’t have one.  Your friend there seems to be smart enough to realize that much.

Celeste snarls at the woman and is about to get in her face when her phone rings in her pocket.

Celeste: Saved by the bell, bitch.  Outta my way…Lexi, I’ll be right back.

Celeste takes her phone out of her pocket and disappears outside for a minute to take the call.  The woman says something to the receptionist in spanish, and when she turns and starts heading back to her seat, I hear her mumble something under her breath, trying to keep it out of my ear shot.

Woman: That’s an overdose waiting to happen…

When I hear her say this, I s-l-o-w-l-y turn my head to glare at her as she takes a seat.  I then walk up to her, standing directly in front of.  She is flipping through a magazine as I stare down at her.

Lex: What the fuck did you just say, bitch?

She looks up at me, confused.

Woman: What?  I didn’t—

Before she can finish speaking, I grab a hold of her by her long hair, dragging her to her feet.  She shrieks and screams, but I don’t care.

Lex: The ONLY person allowed to talk shit about her is ME!  You got that you fake breasted, botex injected nasty bitch?!

Woman: Let me go!  I…didn’t…say…anything!

I know she’s lying through her bleached teeth but I refuse to listen to another word of it.  I glance over to the receptionist and I see she’s on the phone, terrified as she’s speaking something in spanish.  No doubt she’s calling the cops.  I still have the woman by her hair, but in one swift movement, I toss the bitch headfirst into the wall.  Her head bounces off the wall and she collapses to the floor, unconscious.  I look down at her with a smirk on my face before I head out the front door quickly.

I bump into Celeste just as she is heading back inside, but I stop her from going back in. She looks at me slightly confused.

Lex: Uhhh…we need to get out of here.  Like…now!

Celeste: What?  Why?  What the hell did you do now?!

Lex: I just knocked that bitch out and I’m pretty fuckin’ sure the receptionist called the cops.  Now come on!  Let’s go!

Celeste grins wickedly as I drag her down the street, hoping we can find a cab.

Celeste: You mean I missed that shit?!  Damn!

She laughs and up ahead I spot a cab, and we hop in the back just as I hear the first sirens.  I breathe a sigh of relief as the cab driver drives off after the police cars stop in front of the spa building.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A Video Message
Brought to you by just a Nobody
~*~ON CAMERA~*~

I’ve decided to do something a bit different this week.  It might work, but my guess is that it won’t.  I mean, this is me I’m talking about.  I’m a Nobody.  And people don’t give a shit about Nobodies.  Even if I am the Internet Champion.  Anyway, I hit the record button on the webcam of my laptop, all ready to record my message.

Lex: Uhh…hey people.  Or whoever is watching this little message of mine.  Which, I’m guessing is not many people, if anybody.  Anyway, I guess I should get to the point, right?  So…I’m not one that just follows suit and does what everyone else does around this place.  So many people do the same shit in their promos, which usually consists of the *air quotes* video blogs…or Vlogs or something.  I don’t really know.  My point is…everyone has one.

I roll my eyes and shake my head before looking back into the tiny camera.

Lex: All week I’ve been struggling about what I want to say, or how I want to say it.  I was half tempted to contact one of our dumbass interviewers, because even though I’m the Bombshell Internet Champion, it seems I’m still not important enough to seek out.  People don’t give a shit about anything I have to say, but this week, I don’t really give a shit.  I have to address at least two skanks this week, so this is how I’m doing it.

I look off camera for a moment, rummaging around for something.  My eyes light up as I find what I’m looking for.  I don’t hold it up to the camera yet, however.

Le: When I heard about this match…this triple threat match…I went through a lot of different emotions.  Mostly I was pissed because I’m really getting tired of all these damn triple threat matches.  Don’t get me wrong, a match is a match, but when you’re facing two people who you know can’t stand you…Well, it’s basically a handicap match.  But whatever.  I’ll just quit complaining…for now.

I look down for a moment before I hold a picture of our current SCW Bombshell Roulette Champion, Melanie Gabrielle, up to the camera, glancing towards it.

Lex: Opponent number one.  Fellow singles champion.  Current SCW Bombshell Roulette Champion and one weird ass chick…Melanie Gabrielle.  Melanie, how the fuck have you been roulette champion for as long as you have?  I’m a bit confused by it because…you’re really nothing spectacular.  Then again, I guess that’s why you’re the roulette champion and not the Internet Champion.  It says a lot about you when you need some rigged roulette wheel to land on a violent stipulation to win a match.

I shrug my shoulders but manage to let out a laugh.

Lex: A lot of people think that gives you reason to brag.  Because you can fight in all these bloody…gory…fucked up matches and still walk away.  Okay, maybe they have a bit of a point, it’ll be interesting to see how you fair in a regular match.  You’re really not as impressive as everyone makes you out to be, Melanie.  Even that chick you hang out with…Lucy...she’s just as pathetic as you!  I beat her, and there’s not a fuckin’ doubt in my mind that I’ll beat you, too.  When push comes to shove, Melanie…Mikah would slaughter you IF by some miracle you managed to win this tournament…which you won’t.  Then again, Mikah slaughters everyone.  Just ask Crystal Hilton.

A wide grin appears on my face as I bring the next picture up to the camera.  You guessed it.  A picture of one Crystal Hilton.

Lex: Isn’t that right, Crystal?  You know better than anyone, because you just faced Mikah last week.  I’m not sure why they gave you a shot at the fuckin’ title when you advanced into the tournament anyway.  That’s kinda bullshit in my eyes.  I mean…what if you had somehow beat Mikah?  Would they have given your tournament spot to Lucy or Mercedes, considering you beat them to advance to the second round?  I guess it doesn’t matter because, as I expected, you didn’t beat Mikah anyway so that was all theoretical anyway.  But here you are, getting a shot at redemption, so to speak.  Ready to earn a second shot at Mikah, even though you already proved you can’t beat her.

I stop speaking for a moment, gathering my thoughts.  I toss the picture of Crystal to the side and lean back in my seat, staring into the camera.

Lex: Crystal, I know you think you have an advantage against me because you already hold one victory over me, but let me tell you something, bitch.  That won’t happen again.  I’ve learned from my mistakes, and there is not a chance in hell that I will let you beat me again, Crystal.  Not a fuckin’ chance.

I fold my arms across my chest, losing my train of thought for a moment.  I shake my head, looking back into the camera.

Lex: I don’t really like facing the same people twice, Crystal, but in this case, I really don’t mind.  And that’s because I’m really looking forward to proving that the one win you hold over me will be the ONLY win you hold over me.  At least one-on-one anyway, because I’m pretty sure you’ll try and play nice with Melanie in the beginning to take me out of the picture, right?  It’s what always happens.  You’re supposed to be this bad bitch, but after watching you promo last week against Mikah I laughed at how pathetic you were.  I mean, you got all friendly with Roxi Johnson of all people!  You took advice from Roxi Johnson!  You make me sick, Crystal.

I lean forward again, glaring into the camera with fire in my eyes.

Lex: People like to call me an attention whore, but if you ask me, they need to look at you Crystal, because you seem to be starved for attention.  You wanted to prove your tough enough to hang with the likes of me and Mikah but the second you got all chummy with Roxi Johnson?  That threw away any chance of us ever looking at you the same.  Go on and be friends with Roxi, Crystal.  Just shows how truly fuckin’ weak you are, and guarantees that you’ll NEVER be the one to take that title away from Mikah.  You can try all you want, but you’re just not World Bombshell Championship material, Crystal.

I shrug as if saying “sorry” and I lean back again.

Lex: Mikah has been through almost the entire Bombshell roster already.  She’s proven she can beat every damn bitch on this roster at some point or another.  Only one person on this roster is capable of taking that belt from her…and you’re looking at her.  Not Raynin.  Not Sam Marlowe.  Not Melanie Gabrielle.  Not Crystal Hilton.  And sure as shit not Keira or Roxi Johnson.  None of you bitches have what it takes to beat her.  This whole tournament was a ridiculous idea because it gave each and every one of you a false hope that you actually stood a chance at winning the damn thing.  It gave everyone a false sense of pride thinking they actually deserve to face Mikah in the end.  Newsflash for you all…you don’t.

I take in a deep breath and stare into the camera, silent for a moment.  I gather my words before I speak again.

Lex: As for me…Well, I already have one title in my possession.  As nice as it would be to have two titles, I’m not going to sit here and promise that is what’s going to happen.  I have no doubt in my mind that a match between Mikah and myself would be better than a match between Mikah and any of the other skanks on this roster.  It would be title versus title.  The chance to walk out as a double champ would be bragging rights that Mikah and I would fight like hell for.  But right now…I’m not worried about that.  I don’t give a shit about that.  All I’m worried about right now…is stepping into that ring and proving every single one of you haters wrong.  One match at a time.  One bitch…or two bitches…at a time.

I reach down and grab something else, holding it up in view of the camera.  It’s a box of band-aids.

Lex: The truth hurts, bitches.  But I have plenty of band-aids to go around.  See you skanks on Sunday.

I wave into the camera before I lean forward and stop recording and the camera cuts to black.