November 22, 2023
In all honesty, while I was happy that I was able to retain against Courtney Pierce two weeks after I had defeated her for the championship at High Stakes to begin with, I wasn’t happy about Ariana Angelos’s involvement because I knew in my heart that I didn’t need it in order to beat her again. But this coming week, I didn’t have time to dwell on it. Mercedes Vargas was the next defense coming up this Sunday and while I definitely have had my time to prepare and to think about the challenge ahead, in this moment?
I’m doing something nice for my mother…
“I’m sure your mom will appreciate the fact that you made some space for her to stay whenever she likes…” Christy, one of my two best friends says as I have a bit of a smile on my face.
“Yeah! I mean, she’s been through so much lately and the fact that you’ve been there for her so she wouldn’t be lonely. It really is a nice change in you…” Ally adds.
“I still have some stuff to move…” I admit as I go to the last corner of the room that needed to be emptied. My eyes widened a bit when I realized I was looking at a nostalgia trip. There were some pictures of memories from the promotions that I’ve been part of over the years. But, when I saw some photos and memorabilia stemming from my time in New Generation Wrestling and Portland Pro, I rolled my eyes.
“Dumpster please…” I said with a sigh. Ally wasn’t long in bringing a large garbage can but she and Christy were shocked when I took everything from those two companies and dumped it all in the trash.
“Woooow….” Christy said.
“That was literally the worst time of my life…” I reminded my two best friends. “Why would I want to keep anything from those two companies?”
I scoffed as I looked to clear more stuff and I opened a box that was on a dresser. My eyes narrowed with some type of bitter anger.
“Oh…” I said with an angrier sigh as I saw memories from Mainstream Wrestling. I was glancing at pictures of my US championship win, my Pinnacle battle royal win, my world title win, and replicas of both of the aforementioned titles along with a handful of awards I won during my time there. Suddenly, I was swept by an internal sadness as I looked at my left hand and saw my Hall of Fame ring from my induction there last year.
“Jules?” Ally asks with concern. “Is everything okay?”
The one picture in the box that I wouldn’t stop staring at was the moment that the Mainstream World Championship was lost.
“Julianna… you’re looking like a ghost…” Christy adds.
“This should’ve been my wrestling home for the remainder of my career…” I said regarding Mainstream Wrestling. “...but they ruined it for me…”
I stared at that picture further. All of that hurt, all of that anger, all of that embarrassment was coming back to me…
…the moment I lost that world title… which that in and of itself was harsh enough.
“...I was the final chapter in someone else’s retirement story…” I said, with a little more anger in my voice. “...I lost that title to a nostalgia act that got to retire as champion…”
“Oh no…” Ally says, knowing what’s wrong. “Jules, that was nearly two and a half years ago…”
“Don’t ‘two and a half years ago’ me, Ally! Do you realize how much that hurt me? I was doing pretty damn good as the Mainstream World Champion! I was turning back every challenger that was coming my way. But then this retiring piece of trash comes along and gains one last moment at my expense… and my entire reign… everything that I built up… all of my hard work… it meant NOTHING!!!!!!!”
“Jules, you know that…”
“Christy… I STILL feel that way. My entire title reign over there was reduced to being someone else’s glory… and I’ll be DAMNED if I allow that to happen to me AGAIN this Sunday…”
“Mercedes isn’t planning on retiring though…”
“It’s not THAT different!” I said, with anger rising in my voice. “I can’t look at this trash… and trash is where this belongs.”
I was about to dump the box of my Mainstream memories in the trash, but Ally pulled back the can.
“Julianna… NO! You can’t trash that!”
“Mainstream Wrestling was when you really began to make a name for yourself….” Christy reminds me. “I know your first title reign ended horribly and I understand why you feel the way you do, but that doesn’t mean trash it. I don’t blame you for leaving that place when you lost the title…”
“Plus, you forgave them when you went back there…” Ally
I could only laugh at this reminder.
“Yes, that place is where I began to really grow into my own but if it’s so fucking special, when how come come I left? I know the answer as to why I did…”
I paused, soaking in much of the heartbreak that I was still feeling from that place. It was incredibly difficult for me to look back at what was otherwise a strong portion of my career. It was painful to the point of nearly coming to tears remembering all of the amazing times that I had, how jubilant and happy that I was when I became a world champion and how confident I felt the more I defended that title. But the most painful part of all was how it all ended way too soon. What was burning in the back of my brain was how nothing was ever the same after my reign was reduced as a stepping stone to someone else’s big retirement moment… and how I was reduced to just another wrestler on the roster afterward….
“...how come I didn’t stay when I went back?”
Christy and Ally awkwardly looked at each other before they looked back at me.
“...let me tell you of the night I finally decided to call SCW back…”
February 2023
Mainstream Wrestling was holding a luncheon before their show in East Lansing and while the food was great, I was isolated and miserable. I was holding a glass of punch watching everyone else in the company mingle. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach that I wasn’t happy to be there.
“Why did I bother coming back?” I think to myself. “I should be treated like a bigger deal than they treat me. I’m a former world champion. I’m even a Hall of Fame member here, damn it! Yet, they continue to act like I’m just another face on the roster. They continue to insult my intelligence and continue to think that because I’m a Hall of Fame member, that I have nothing left to achieve. They hired all these bimbos in the room to replace me and they moved on acting like nothing I did here matters…”
“Julianna, hello…” a management official says, catching my by surprise. “You’re all alone. Is everything okay?”
“Nothing has been okay here since I lost the World Championship more than a year and a half ago…”
“Oh Jesus, Julianna. You’re still not over that?”
“Sir, kindly hear me out…”
“Okay…”
“I lost the world title to someone that got to retire as champion and it was so humiliating for me that I left because I know I am better than being reduced as a footnote to someone else’s journey. But between that loss and my departure, I wasn’t booked in another match. There was a tournament for the vacant title that you left ME out of… and I thought, hey maybe I could face the tournament winner or something. Nope. You picked someone else even though I had the right to a rematch.”
The official was starting to look very uncomfortable.
“It angered me and I left. Let me remind you sir, that you called ME when it came to the Hall of Fame and coming back here. I didn’t call you because I didn’t need you. YOU… called me! I’m willing to let bygones be bygones so I accept my Hall of Fame ring and what have you done with me? You’ve booked me in singles matches against mainly nobodies. You’ve booked me in clusterfucks. I feel like you brought me back just so I can be the stepping stone to all of these bitches you hired after I left…”
“No no… it’s not like that at all…” Mainstream’s representative says. “I understand why you would feel underappreciated and why you feel like a stepping stone. But I promise you, you’re not. I’ll tell you what, how about I give you something you’ll appreciate.”
“Which is?”
“A shot at the Mainstream Television Championship…”
He suddenly became spooked when I looked at him like I wanted to murder him.
“Come again?” I asked.
“...I want to give you another shot at the TV title…”
“FUCK YOU!” I screamed as I flipped over the dessert table, spilling and breaking everything that was on it and catching the attention of everyone else, who looked completely stunned. “I don’t WANT a shot at the FUCKING TV TITLE…”
“Julianna calm down…”
“DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! The TV title is a FUCKING INSULT! I NEVER got my rematch for the world title and if you want to make it up to me, THAT’S what you fucking give me! Don’t low ball me with this crap about the TV title!”
“You have to earn it, Julianna…” he said, panicked, ticking me off further.
“Stop fucking LYING to me…” I snapped back. “Why won’t you just tell me that you brought me back to be a nostalgia act? Because that’s exactly what you did. I busted my ass for this company the first time I was here and rose up the ladder and all you’ve done is start me off at fucking square one acting like what I accomplished here doesn’t matter! I WAS, and still SHOULD BE, THE top woman in this company but all you give a shit about is turning me into a stepping stone to make women lesser than I am look SO much better than they actually are and I am WAY better than being told to be a stepping stone to bitches that will NEVER measure up to me or the impact that I made here!”
“You’ve got it all wrong…” he says with a nervous laugh.
“Oh do I? Then how come you’re shoving me down the ladder to compete for the TV title… a title that means NOTHING to me? How come you’re throwing me in these random ‘title contendership clusters’ with at least five other wrestlers when I should’ve gotten a rematch for the world title when I walked right back in the door…”
“...you STILL have to earn that…”
“Even though YOU shut me out of a rematch after I lost to the fucking nostalgia act?”
“Well… um…”
“The moment I lost that title, you wanted to move on from me like I was worthless trash and you wanted to focus your company around the good ol’ boys club again. Now that I’m back, you want to treat me like I’m past my prime! For FUCK’s sake, I’m only 28!.”
“Julianna… please! I’m almost begging you at this point. Give things time! Things will get better! You worked your way up the ladder and there’s no doubt that you’ll do it again! Just please give us time…”
“I’ve given you ENOUGH time…” I said as I began to walk away. “I’m DONE!”
“Julianna, PLEASE!”
“No, I’m DONE! FOR GOOD! I am NOT your fucking nostalgia act and I am NOT someone to throw away as a thing of the past! I’m DONE with your fucking games! I’m going to go somewhere else and SHOW YOU what you’re missing out on! GOOD RIDDANCE!”
I burst through the door leading to the parking lot, leaving the luncheon, and Mainstream Wrestling, for good. On a whim, I dialed a Nevada based phone number I saved on my phone.
“Hello?” I said after a deep breath. “Hi! It’s Julianna DiMaria. Can you get Mark or Christian to call me back ASAP? Yeah… I’m a free agent now…”
Little did I know when I placed that bet on myself and left Mainstream for SCW, I would hit the jackpot…
November 22, 2023
“They really did suck your passion dry with the way they were treating you…” Ally admitted.
“They took you for granted…” Christy added. “But we’re so glad you got that passion back and look at you know…”
“I’m not going to let it happen again…” I said with anger in my voice. “I’m not about to lose another world title to another nostalgia act. That experience in Mainstream… it still fuels me, girls. It’s motivating me to continue to show those people what they missed out on even though they are dead and buried. And speaking of dead and buried…”
I picked up the box consisting of my Mainstream Wrestling memories and was about to make another attempt at the trash can…
“JULIANNA” both of my friends exclaimed. “Don’t…”
“I want NOTHING to do with that fucking company EVER again! It means NOTHING to me anymore! Why should I remember something that never appreciated me and was willing to throw me away so fast? They basically told me that all of my hard work and all the dedication I gave to that company was meaningless. It’s all meaningless, girls…”
“That’s not true…” Christy says. “Did it end how you wanted it to? No. But that’s the place where the world truly came to know what Julianna DiMaria is all about.”
“You can’t take that away from them…” Ally says. “It made you stronger and better in the long run… or at least overcoming what they put you through and how they mistreated you did.”
“Yet, the anger… the heartbreak… it’s still in my soul. Like I said earlier, they were supposed to be my home for life…”
“Don’t you think SCW can be that for you?” Christy adds, triggering something in me that finally got me to calm down even a little bit. “They get to be what Mainstream should’ve been. You can retire tomorrow and they’ll never forget what you accomplished in just six short matches there.”
“Yeah, hashtag “Jules in Six” is never going away… and nobody can take it away from you. It’s literally your best career moment that overshadows everything in Mainstream. Period! You PROVED you were always better than them. Take pride in that!”
“Yeah, Ally’s right, Jules. You made the right move to move on. Be better than them still. Trashing them makes you just as bad.”
I let out a soft sigh at this point as I removed my Hall of Fame ring from my hand and tossed it in the box with all the other memories. This spooked them for a moment.
“Girl, don’t throw that ring in the trash…” Ally says.
“I won’t…” I said with a reluctant sigh. “Tape that up and take it downstairs to the storage room, will you? At least there’s SOME value with that which is more than I can say for those other two companies I dumped in the trash”
My best friends were the ones breathing a sigh of relief now. They both nodded at me and took the box out of the room and down the stairs. I went to the corner and sat down on it, briefly reflecting on a part of my journey that I was hating for its ending, yet was able to come to terms with it a little bit even if I wasn’t fully over it yet.
“Mainstream will always be where I won my first and where I started to realize my potential…” I admitted in my thoughts. “But that pathetic, small time company was just a stop along the way that’s being overshadowed by what I’m doing now…”
I could finally smile remembering the great times that are ongoing in SCW.
“Mercedes isn’t going to have one last moment of glory at my expense…”
I held that determination inside of my as that title match drew closer…
November 24, 2023
I had the camera on me as I stayed in my luxurious room in the Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix, not far from Tempe. Mercedes Vargas was firmly on the brain now… but so was the experience in my past with how my first World Championship reign as a professional wrestler ended to a retiring coward. This was fueling my motivation and my anger as I began to express my thoughts…
“Nearly two and a half years ago, long before I came to SCW, I lost my first world championship to an over the hill piece of shit that just wanted one last moment of glory. This Sunday? I’m in that same situation facing someone like that… and YES… Mercedes… I am talking about you. JUST like that person that beat me back in July of 2021, you are NOT deserving of this title shot in front of you. You are NOT deserving to the main event spotlight. But UNLIKE then, I AM going to win this time. I AM going to turn away the nostalgia act and I am NOT about to allow YOU to have one last spark at my expense. That’s not going to happen! I REFUSE to let it happen. I know that when I got my title shot, there was all of this talk about how I didn’t deserve it! I recall people talking about how I was basically the least deserving Bombshell on the roster. But they shouldn’t have been talking about ME, Mercedes! They should’ve been talking about YOU!
After all, 2023 is almost over and you’ve only won FOUR matches… FOUR! I have won nearly DOUBLE the matches during my run of dominance than you have ALL YEAR and I’ve only been here since the damn summer! Add on the fact that literally HALF of your wins are against Samantha Marlowe and Seleana Zdunich, the other two women that I called WASHED a couple of Climax Controls ago, and I am honestly wondering what the fuck you’re still doing on this roster. It can’t be passion because from what I have studied about you, you’re literally the same person now that you were ten years ago with little, if any, hints of evolving as a professional wrestler. It can’t be the fact that you’ve even improved because holy hell, when was the last time you held a singles match in this company? I get it. You were a GRIME World Champion in Sin City Underground, but that’s like winning the EFL Championship across the pond: cool story bro… but all it proves is that you can win in the B league. The last time you were even a champion in SCW at ALL was when you were a Mixed Tag champion being carried by your partner… but SOMEHOW… you’re worthy of a title shot? Are you kidding me?
Even Mercedes and Seleana have been a singles champion in SCW more recently than you have! When it comes to being at the top tier of this division, even YOU would admit that you don’t have what it takes to be there anymore and it’s not just ME saying it. The bitch is, even though you’ve skirted and contradicted yourself on the subject, even YOU have said it yourself not just with your words, but with your actions. What’s the supposed most decorated Bombshell in SCW history doing wasting her time with Harper Mason, huh? Why is someone of your supposed caliber picking on teenagers and beating them with Singapore canes? What’s the matter? You’re afraid that you can’t beat the big fish anymore? Hell, I’d even say you’re afraid you can’t beat anyone other than rookies or the likes of Sam, Sel and Bea. But even with all of that, I’m going to say that the biggest reason why you don’t deserve this shot… and ultimately… why you WILL fall short against me?
Look, it’s not just how strong of a wrestler I am or the fact that I’m at the peak of my powers. It’s not even the fact that you’ve lost so many times this year, primarily. It’s because you don’t have the RESOLVE anymore! Yes, I AM questioning your resolve because one just needs to listen to your words from High Stakes to know that even YOU know you don’t stand a chance against me. No matter WHAT you say? You know… in your SOUL… that you don’t because prior to High Stakes? Yeah, I saw you admit that you weren’t mentally ready for High Stakes as you bitched and moaned about how you hadn’t won at that event in nearly a decade. So if you admitted you’re not mentally ready for that big stage, how can you possibly be ready for me? I saw you complain to Sam about how you’re both being passed over for ‘new flavors of the month’...”
I paused to scoff for a bit before I continued on.
“Reality check Mercedes… it’s not being passed over… it’s being passed BY! The ‘new flavors of the month’, especially me, have passed you by and I wouldn’t be shocked of Harper turns out to be another one that does. Someone that whines about being passed over has no resolve to make their situation better… especially when you’re questioning as to whether it’s even WORTH IT anymore. I mean… GOSH Mercedes, it sounds like going into your High Stakes match you were questioning and doubting yourself so much! Maybe that’s why people like me are passing you by in this company and in this division? You’re over there wondering to yourself if you’ll ever have the Internet Championship… or ANY title… around your waist ever again yet you want to contradict yourself saying that things will turn around you.
Please Mercedes…
Not even YOU believe that…
Not when later in that same promo you admitted you ‘weren’t mentally ready’. How can you believe in a turnaround if you’re not mentally there for it?
But each loss is a ‘learning opportunity’? HOW SO?
You're clearly not learning a fucking thing if you keep losing... and you clearly haven't learned a fucking thing in years considering all the losses you've racked up. You can act all brave and confident if you want, but you clearly showed that this was a front because you're ALREADY doubting yourself as far as being a champion again. If you weren't, you wouldn't be bringing this up at all. So don't come at me with a bunch of false promises and claims that you, yourself, know deep in your heart isn't true and will never come true again.
I mean you know it so damn much that prior to the Queen of the Day match at Violent Conduct, I swear to fucking God, you kept PLEADING and BEGGING for Tempest and Zoey Lukas to be suspended! Hell, your resolve is so weak you couldn’t even maintain your convictions about that match. One day, you’re pleading with the masses that you weren’t looking for an easy way out and the next you’re demanding that Christian suspend your opponents and declare you the winner… which… is an easy way out…
Let me tell you something about having a strong resolve though…
Those with a strong resolve don’t throw stones in glass houses and aren’t the pot calling the kettle black. I mean, going into Violent Conduct, you’re saying Christian has a “soft spot” for Seleana yet I’m wondering if that same “soft spot” applies to you. I mean, it would at least EXPLAIN why you have a title match you clearly haven’t earned or deserved. You’re bagging on Seleana’s win-loss record in 2023 and calling it pathetic… when you’re the one that’s lost more than three times than she’s won this year and once went months without a win. But still… the FUNNIEST thing you said about Seleana? Wasn’t it something along the lines of how she’s getting undeserved opportunities when she should be opening shows against new competition? I mean that’s TRUE, Mercedes, but it SORELY lacks credibility when it’s coming from YOU because OH LOOK… here YOU are getting an undeserved opportunity on Sunday when you should be the first one out of the curtain trading Singapore cane shots with Harper Mason!
But hey, stay in denial Mercedes. Keep saying that SCW needs you more than you need it… which… I think ALL of us can say that’s a fucking joke.
Keep thinking you’re a dynasty… even though you no longer are. I mean, dynasties don’t go YEARS without a championship… and dynasties accomplish more than have a handful of mostly one month long championship reigns like what you have across your career and any semblance of WHATEVER deluded dynasty you once had basically died in my rookie year of being a mainstream wrestler… in 2017. But I suppose I should give you credit to a degree, Mercedes. Because when you’re NOT in denial, and when you’re NOT being delusional, your resolve… brittle as it is, CRACKS… and you actually DO recognize your reality. I mean, how can I take you seriously when you go off on your little speech about how you’re going to win one more World Championship whenever you release your promo when going into your match against Harper Mason, you even admitted that people don’t see you as a threat anymore AND you also admitted that you may not be winning another title anytime soon.
Look, I know you’ve heard the speech about how people overlook you and how nobody believes in you and all of that… and I get it. You’re tired of hearing it because it seems like that’s all you’ve heard for years. But the truth is… I’ve just outlined how you don’t even believe in yourself and maybe THAT’S why you’ve been nothing but stagnant for all these years as Bombshells like me come in, take this place by storm, and pass you by. Maybe that’s why you never TRULY learn from your losses… because all those losses have piled up so badly that not only do you not believe in yourself anymore… but it is that lack of faith in yourself that prevents you from growing with age. Maybe after I defeat you tonight and conquer a couple of demons of my own along the way this Sunday… you may finally begin to wake up and acknowledge how you truly feel about yourself. Whatever insecurities that have leaked out of your mouth and your soul in your recent promos such as High Stakes and your match with Harper, I’m about to take and I am about to amplify them because what I see is a woman that KNOWS she’s cooked, but needs JUST enough of a push to realize that she is and that either she needs to FINALLY grow and evolve… or just admit that she’s overstayed her welcome.
You’ve already lost this match in my book Mercedes… because you don’t think you can win against me. The only reason why you won at High Stakes even though you weren’t mentally ready is because Sam Marlowe has a worse self-esteem issue regarding her career at the moment than you do. You can get away with it against someone like Sam, but against me? The woman that BELIEVED IN HERSELF and KNEW she deserved that world title shot at High Stakes, who MAINTAINED her conviction in herself no matter WHO she faced in that SCW ring along the way, the woman that KNEW she was going to be the ONE that beat “THE ONE”... TWICE… and who KNOWS that she’s the champion that can shake up this division as she has so far? NOPE!
I KNOW going into this title defense that I’m facing a woman that is far more broken about her career and her remaining worth in this business than she will EVER admit and it will be my great pleasure, in my second title defense this Sunday, to be the one that breaks you FOR GOOD… and I’m NOT talking physically, Mercedes… though I am capable of doing that too. I’m talking about psychologically! THAT is where you will be PERMANENTLY broken when I’m done with you. This Sunday? You might as well start calling it the beginning of the Mercedes Vargas Farewell tour… because when I’m done with you? You’re going to go from questioning whether you’ll ever win a title again to REALIZING that you’ll never win a title again… ESPECIALLY the one you’re challenging for on Sunday!
You’re about to find out exactly how weak your resolve has been all along and why someone like you could NEVER… EVER win against someone of my caliber!
I admit that Sunday might not be your swan song exactly…
But maybe, just maybe, when I’m done with you and I break whatever resolve you have left?
I might as well start pushing you to warm the band for that…”
I scoffed once more and maintained my full confidence feeling like Sunday was going to be another notch on my belt in my still-fledgling SCW career…
But most importantly?
I felt like Sunday I was finally about to put some nearly two and a half year demons from before my time in SCW to bed once and for all…
With that thought in mind, I shut off my camera and felt ready to heal from that aforementioned painful experience.
