Relationships
We are often forged and changed by the relationships we make. The people we meet and how we relate to them and how they relate to us. You learn from people, let them influence you whether you know it or not. Sometimes for the better, sometimes the worse. And unfortunately I’ve known both.
I know what it’s like to have people in your life that are a positive influence.
But I also know the most nagative of the negative.
I know what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone who changes you, makes you a completely different person and makes you lose everything unique and special about yourself. Someone who tries to mold you into something to fit their needs, wants and narrative. And it has always begged the question. Why? Why change people when you are attracted to the person you meet at first, as you know them and need them and want them? Only for you to want them to become something completely different.
You lose yourself. Lose who you are little by little. Until one day you wake up, look in the mirror and don’t recognise the person staring back at you.
The morning that happened, I realised I needed to get out. I needed to leave and not look back. No matter how much it hurt. And the worst part about living through things like this, living through those toxic relationships. Is finding that same toxicity in people you care about and their relationships. Watching them slowly morph and become different people because of the others that they’re with. And knowing that sometimes there is nothing you can do about iut.
Sure, you can tell them they’re changing, that the person they’re with isn’t good for them. But speaking from personal experience I know it doesn’t work. If you push and shove and tery and get your point across, you’ll push those same people away. You will make them resent you even if you’re completely right and correct. And that is the last thing you want to do when you care about someone.
My sister was smart enough to see this, even if my mother wasn’t.
You see, a relationship is the reason I ran. The reason I disappeared from my family, my friends and the profession I had only just started to become good at. It was a guy. I know. Pathetic i9sn’t it? My mother pushed, she shoved, she told me he was wrong for me and that I was no longer tha same girl she raised. And all I did, was run.
Alicia followed but stood far enough away not to make it worse. She told me as long as I was happy, she was happy.
And that was the phrasing I needed. Cause deep down in my heart, everytime I woke up in the morning, I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t even close. And it took some time, two years as a matter of fact, to see through the bullshit and realise I needed to leave. I needed out.
That was a relationship that ruined me, that I should never have been in. But, the relationships today, the people I need and have in my life?...they’re what I need, what I want.
And they make me happy.
Is it a date?
It was interesting, being in India. It was a lovelty country, the people were ectstic about a wrestling product coming to their country and touring. Everywhere they went, there was happiness and excitement. People thanking them for their shows, people wanting autographs and wanting to ask questions. It was the type of thing Zoey wasn’t used to. Something that she had needed to ask Alicia about. But, here they were, before the Jaipur show and Zoey was standing in her hotel room, her hands moving and gliding across the bathroom counter as she found her lipstick.
She stared at herself in the mirror, her hair was slicked back, her eyeliner applied, eyeshadow to match with a foundation that accentuated her pale skin and high cheekbones. She moved the lipstick across her lips, smacking them together before taking a deep breath staring at herself in the mirror, leaning in the look closer, dabbing her finger across her top lip to even out the black makeup.
She leaned back, her body covered in her black dress, a slit up either side and studs to show off her leg.
The bathroom door clicked, Alicia stepped in and shook her head looking at her younger sister. Zoey didn’t even notice her, instead turning to make sure everything that needed to be covered was covered,. The low cut of the dress being held together by tape, friction and hopes and dreams. She chuckled and gave herself a nod before finally noticing Alicia, dressed in grey sweatpants and a black “Trivium” t-shirt, with her arms folded over her chest. Zoey stopped and tilted her head waiting for anything from her sister.
Alicia cleared her throat and looked Zoey up and down. ”A dress huh?” There was alot of shock and awe in her voice. Alicia smiled, Zoey turned up her nose and shrugged moving past Alicia who followed her. Zoey looking from side to side for her shoes. ”I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since you were like…12”
Zoey scoffed, finding her shoes and placing them down in front of her. ”I’ve worn dresses before, I’ll wear them again, there’s no reason to act so shocked.”
Alicia put her hands up, shaking her head with a smile. ”Hey I’m not judging, you look good Zo…but uh…gotta question why you’re going to all this trouble for a friendly dinner…with a friend….a friend who is in a relationship..”
Zoey did the second strap up on her shoe, standing up straight, wearing high heels to make her alreadt lengthy frame seem even larger. The intention was to be looked at and it was something Zoey had become very good at. ”Are you done? She raised her eyebrows and shook her head. ”Or is there something else?”
Alicia bit her lip and clenched her hands into fists, Zoey nodded and grabbed her purse, Alicia finally speaking up as Zoey started to head toward the door. ”I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
”Hurt?”
Alicia stepped toward Zoey, reaching out and grabbing her arms, looking up into Zoeys eyes. ”Look, I like Miles. I do. But he is still with..whats her face. And he might not see this the same way you do. And besides that, we train with him, we work with him…there’s an old saying Zo…you don’t shit where you eat.”
”Gross..”
Alicia groans and throws her arms up in the air. ”Focus….you get what I mean. To you this could be a date, to him it’s just a friendly dinner..don’t..ya know…get your hopes up”
There is a moment of silence between them, Alicias heart sank as she thought maybe, just maybe she just broke her younger sisters heart. Instead, Zoey burst out with laughter. She doubled over, her large arms wrapping around her midsection as Alicia looked confused. ”Oh, oh that’s precious.” She waved her hands and checked to see if her makeup was still set. ”This isn’t a date…this is just me and Miles going to dinner and I’m goin to show him there’s more fish in the sea…and much much better looking ones…”
Zoey couldn’t help but laugh and shake her head. ”So you’re not like…falling for a taken guy?”
”We’re consenting adults. I am well within my rights to go out to dinner with a friend and look damn good while doing it…” Alicia sighed and nodded, the weight lifting off her shoulders as Zoey scoffed. ”And Miles is well within his right to take the bait and make a bad decision that could end his relationship with the little video game developing psycho hose beast…” Alicia smile faded, she blinked a few times with her jaw open, she had no idea what to say, what to feel. Zoey grabbed her purse moving toward the door before putting her hand up and waving behind her. ”Don’t wait up…”
Takin down a legend
”So, a step up in competition then.”
Zoey Lukas, slowly moved her arms across her upper body, folding them over as she slowly smiled and tilted her head. Her hair moving down over her eyes, her opper body covered in a sleeveless black suicide silence shirt.
”Before I get into the nitty gritty of how I feel about my match this week I feel the need to get a few things off my chest. Now, there’s no secret I don’t like Tag matches. I teamed with my sister and I was able to grin and bare it. I teamed with Miles and had the added enjoyment of being able to stare at his ass while we were in the ring, but all in all, I don’t like relying on anyone except myself. With that being said I’m not real fond of the narrative that SCW is pushing with this week and the story that I’m still “undefeated”...”
“Let me be clear, I understand I have not been pinned, I have not submitted, I have not been knocked out, counted out or given up. I understand that it was Miles who got pinned in our tag match. And I even understand why SCW is doing this…”
“I’m a future star.”
“Christian and Mark look at me and dollar signs go off. I’m marketable. I’m from a wrestling family, a second generation star along with my older sister whose career has already meant more than our fathers ever did, I have the look, the natural ability and the skill set to become one of the best and bring eyes and money to the product. So this whole “Zoey hasn’t been pinned” thing is going to be the story they run with. But it’s not the one I run with.”
“Miles and I lost.”
“We lost as a team. We lost at the same time and I know Miles feels bad, he felt so bad he offered to take me out to dinner and I will tell you all the same thing I told him. This isn’t about who got pinned, in those matches you both take the load. You win together you lose together and when the final bell tolled and the other team had their hands raised he and I both felt the same sting of defeat. And if SCW wanted to go with the narrative they have, then why would they book me in a tag match to begin with?”
Zoey simply shrugs and moves along.
”So now, I get to show the world what I can do as I get a step up in solo competition. I get to go toe to toe with a woman who has quite the history in this company and I have been told time and time again that to get a real feeling of gravity when it comes to wrestling you need to appreciate your opponents for who they are, not tear down who they are and try and belittle their accomplishments. Cause when you beat someone who real accolades, then those accolades become a part of your history. And when I see Sam Marlowe, I see real history.”
Zoey steps to the side, moving back and forth taking a deep breath.
”And what a history. 2017 Blast from the past runner up, former Mixed tag team champion, a four time Roulette champion and a two time bombshells champion all capping it off with an induction in the Sin city wrestling hall of fame last year. I mean, we should all be so lucky as to have a career in this company like that Samantha. And hell, maybe one day I can look back at my career and i’ll have just as many titles and moments to my name. Or, I might fail. But all I know is that in wrestling it’s always a case of what have you done for me lately. And I have to ask Samantha…what have you done for me letely?”
“What have you done for the company lately? See, you and a few others just haven’t seemed to push yourselves, you’ve plateaued. It’s happened toi you. It’s happened to Mercedes Vargas, it’s happened to Seleana and Crystal, it has even happened to an extent to my own sister.”
“And shit I can admit that even if she, and the rest of you refuse to admit it to yourselves. And that’s why I’m here Samnatha. See I don’t want to beat the Sam Marlowe we’ve had over the last few years. The new Sam, the girl scout Sam.”
“The new Samantha Marlowe fucking sucks.”
“I want the Samantha Marlowe that got inducted into the hall of fame. I want the Samantha Marlowe that took Mercedes Vargas to the limit and beat her ass over and over again, I want the same Marlowe who would go to war with anyone and everyone in an effort to prove she was and is the best. I want the old Samantha Marlowe.”
Zoeys voice raises and she laughs to herself pacing back and forth even more.
”I want that Samantha Marlowe because I want to be able to say I beat one of the best, I want to say I beat a two time world bombshells champion and a hall of famer. I want to be able to get in the ring with the best version of you Sam. And I don’t want to do it for some kind of misplaced need for a challenge. Nah. I want to beat the best Sam Marlowe so when the dust is settled and I look you in the eye I can see the sheer horror and terror that will go through your mind when you realise the wrestling world has passed you by…because not only are you not on my level…Sam…I’m playing a whole different game than you…”
“As good as you used to be, as good as you think you are this is a new dawn and a new era in SCW and the bombshells division. For the longest time women like Roxi, Keira, Mercedes, Seleana, Crystal and you have hung around SCW enjoying your glory days. And while Roxi is the only one as of late who has shown she is still the best of the best the rest of you kind of hang around SCW like a bad smell…”
“And I am going to end it. I am going to collect those scalps and earn my way to that Bombshells title.”
“My ambitions are not in any way held back by a lack of drive or talent. And I also refuse to be kno0wn as the lesser talented Lukas sister. So you are a step up in competition Sam and you will be a real guage of my progress. And hell, I could be wrong, you still might have it, the best Sam Marlowe may indeed still be in there, deep and buried inside. And that Sam might be able to beat me….”
“Or…I’m right…”
“I’m right and I am going to steamroll over you and leave you in a beaten and bloody heap. And in one night you can do something for the wrestling business that is selfless and will be more significant and relevant than anything else you have done in the last two years…by showing the world Zoey Lukas…is a new star…”
