We have been invited to the Conference Room at the Hiroshima Green Arena where James Tuscini, and his Uncle-Manager, Pinky del Ferrando, are holding a press conference. James is standing at the podium to address the crowd in attendance and he is wearing a dark gray business suit with a white shirt and dark gray tie that matches his suit. Uncle Pinky is dressed in a black pin striped business suit with a white shirt and black tie and he is standing off to the side of James. Uncle Pinky raises his hand to ask the crowd to quiet down so the press conference can begin.
UNCLE PINKY: Let me set the rules of this press conference. We are going to talk and you are going to listen. We know there are members of the media here so take notes and report what you see and hear. If you make stuff up about us that wasn’t done or said at this press conference you will not like the consequences laid upon you by myself and James. We will allow questions to be asked a bit later.
JAMES TUSCINI: Aw, Uncle, don’t be so hard on these people. They want to know what’s going on and we’re here to tell them and to answer their questions.
UNCLE PINKY: Sorry, James, but you know how I get when people say we did or said something that we never said or did. False accusations need to be responded to with truthful retribution.
JAMES TUSCINI: We’re here today in Hiroshima, Japan, where an atomic bomb was dropped by the United States to end World War II. At Climax Control on May 1, 2016, my opponent is Steve Ramone and I’m here to tell you that I’m going to nuke his ass off the planet in our match.
The crowd lets out a collective groan at that nuke comment from James Tuscini.
JAMES TUSCINI: Oh, right, you’ve never heard that comment before eh? That bomb was dropped more than 70 years ago. I can’t believe that you don’t have celebrities, politicians, and comedians, make comments about that event.
UNCLE PINKY: Don’t take my Nephew’s comments the wrong way. He is using a figure of speech.
JAMES TUSCINI: My match at Climax Control is the Main Event. I face off against Steve Ramone to finally settle our feud. The feud goes deep in that Ramone interfered in my match against Travis Nathanial Andrews and that caused me to lose a match I should have won. Then, as everyone saw at Blaze of Glory V, I ended up in a Draw in the Triple Threat match for the Roulette Title. For those who may not have seen the match I clearly had Joshua Acquin knocked out with my Sleeper Hold and Steve Ramone was nowhere in sight as I knocked him out of contention at that point in the match. Just as Acquin was going unconscious for me to win the match Steve Ramone regained his composure and crawled back to where me and Joshua were located. When he noticed the shoulders of Acquin were in a position that could be used for a pin he made a pathetic attempt to look like he was covering Joshua for the pin. At that point the Referee had to make a decision. The Referee determined that Acquin went unconscious at the same time that a three count against Joshua was rendered on behalf of Steve Ramone. What this meant is that I did, in fact, win the match, but so did Steve Ramone. Therefore with a Draw the Champion cannot lose their Title Belt. That’s why we have this match at this edition of Climax Control. I will discuss our match, and Steve Ramone, later in the press conference, but for now I wish to discuss other items. That deceptive win, Ramone, is the wrong I need to right as I should be the rightful owner of the Roulette Title Belt.
UNCLE PINKY: We’re not upset at comments made by J2H at Climax Control. James requested a shot at the Title and J2H, being the fighting Champion he is, accepted the challenge James set forth. When that will happen is anybody’s guess but when it happens you will see some amazing things from James. Obviously Ramone wasn’t paying attention because when J2H accepted the request for a shot at the Heavyweight Title he didn’t specify an event or a date for that to happen. Apparently Steve Ramone believes that match will take place quickly but I don’t see it happening for well over a month. As far as Rage goes I understand his anger at James requesting a shot at the Internet Title. We would do the same thing if we were holding a Title Belt and someone challenged us and we didn’t feel they were ready to get that shot at the Belt. However when James wins the Roulette Title this Sunday he will most likely back off on the requests for shots at the Internet and Heavyweight Titles so others who are already in line can get their chance before he does.
JAMES TUSCINI: The funniest part is that while Rage disrespected and insulted me about requesting a match for the Internet Title he went over and issued a challenge to J2H for his Title. But here’s the difference. J2H accepted my challenge and one day I will get that match. On the other hand J2H flatly told Rage that he is boring and that NO he will not give him a shot at his Title Belt.
UNCLE PINKY: When we stated we want to talk about dreams we are talking about not only dreams and desires James has to succeed in the sport of wrestling but also dreams he has when he sleeps and what the meaning of those dreams are.
JAMES TUSCINI: Thank you for that lead-in Uncle. Anyone who doesn’t have dreams and desires are doomed to failure. You need to have something to look forward to or you have nothing to accomplish. Although I came to Sin City Wrestling and my dream and desire is to perform to the best of my abilities, and I’ve done that, I still have, as everyone else does, the dream and desire to hold Title Belts
UNCLE PINKY: Where James differs from the others in this Federation is that you have a bunch of non-producing slackers who demand shots every week. You have to earn your Title shot and not just stand around expecting Title shots to be handed to you when you perform like shit.
JAMES TUSCINI: We went off the subject of dreams for a time Uncle so let’s get back on track. I wish to tell you about some of the dreams I’ve been having lately. For those of you who don’t know, or you are too stupid to know, your dreams have meanings.
UNCLE PINKY: We will list some of the dreams James has been having recently and we will give you the official description of what those dreams mean.
JAMES TUSCINI: I’ve been dreaming a lot about water lately. Water in dreams represents a person’s subconscious and emotional state of mind. I’ve dreamed of calm clear water which means I’m in tune with my spirituality, knowledge, healing, and refreshment. I often dream of walking on water. No I don’t have a Jesus complex where I feel I’m the Messiah. To dream of this means you have control of your emotions. It also means you must “stay on top” of emotions and not let them explode out of hand. As I’ve mentioned the Martial Arts and meditation my family Physician, Doctor Kim, prescribed for me has worked to help me control my emotions, or demons if you wish to call them that, to keep them from coming out and taking control of me.
UNCLE PINKY: James told me he dreams about sex even though he is not currently involved in a relationship and he is not currently looking for a woman to spend time with. This dream means James is comfortable with himself, and his wrestling abilities, and he’s looking forward to see what the future holds for him. When James defeats Ramone this Sunday, and he becomes the Roulette Champion, there will no longer be any uncertainty about his future in Sin City Wrestling. This dream also means that James is moving ahead in his wrestling career without any preconceived notions or emotions about his wrestling matches. What this means for Steve Ramone is that James is confident, encouraged, determined, and ready to perform. The reason James has me in his corner as his Manager is to keep outside interference and attacks out of his matches especially this Roulette Title match against Steve Ramone.
JAMES TUSCINI: The last dream I wish to relate to you in that I dream of ice cream. To dream of ice cream represents good luck, pleasure, success, and satisfaction in my life and wrestling career. The dream also has a side meaning which is to cool off and not let your temper, or inner demons, get out of hand. Yeah, Ramone, you’re gonna be on the receiving end of my good luck, pleasure, success, and satisfaction in my life, when I prove to the world that I’m more of a wrestler than you and Sin City Wrestling can handle. Since you want to refer to yourself as Godzilla let me inform you that I will reduce you down to the size of a little house lizard and easily toss you out of my life.
Uncle Pinky informs the media in attendance that he and James will take one or two questions before closing the press conference. A member of the press stands up and raises his hand and Uncle Pinky calls on him for his question.
UNCLE PINKY: Thank you for your patience for this part of the Press Conference to ask your question.
REPORTER: My name is Grant Mori and I’m a reporter for The Japan Times. You appear very confident that you will defeat Steve Ramone to earn the Roulette Title. Since you came up short at Blaze of Glory so what makes you feel you will be successful this time?
JAMES TUSCINI: Came up short? Let me state the fact of that match again. I clearly won the match at Blaze of Glory and should have been awarded the Roulette Title. Steve Ramone was out of action in the match at the time I put Joshua Acquin in the Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold. Due to the position I was in with the Sleeper on Acquin this caused the shoulders of Joshua to appear to be lying flat and available for an attempted pin. The Referee was about to call me the winner since Acquin was a few seconds from being totally unconscious. However the Referee was apparently one of the less intelligent ones because when they saw Ramone crawl back over to where I was knocking Joshua out and Ramone laid an arm across the body of Acquin they classified that as a pinning combination for Steve even though I started the knockout before Ramone returned to action in the match. Yes the Referee decided to make a pin count for Ramone but the common sense thing to do was to focus on me, and give the preference to me, since I was ahead of Ramone with the knockout on Joshua. What the Referee did was stop their call on my knockout to re-start the call on my knockout when they started the pin count for Ramone. It was a bad decision on the part of the Referee but I accept it since it was accepted by Management as a valid decision in our match.
UNCLE PINKY: The woman in the blue dress what is your question?
WOMAN IN BLUE DRESS: My name is Keira Shomada and I’m representing the wrestling association here in Japan. There seems to be a lot of talk going around that you are not able to be competitive in Sin City Wrestling due to your finishers. You have the Flying Hammerlock, the Figure Four Leg Lock, and the Torture Rack. All three are classified as submissions and the fans want to know if you feel you are limiting yourself by having only submission holds as finishers?
JAMES TUSCINI: I could say that’s a good question but it is not. Let me explain. Just because I list three of my favorite finishers on my Bio Sheet don’t mean that’s the only way I can win a match. Also how did anyone come up with the concept that I’m not competitive in Sin City Wrestling? I am currently 2-1-1 and I could easily be 4-0-0 due to one match being stolen from me due to interference by Steve Ramone and the other one the Draw, which happened due to a Referee not knowing how to officiate a match properly. The reason I listed those three finishers is that they are my favorites and they are fun for me to apply on opponents. The Mafia Hit Flying Hammer Lock is my favorite as I’ve mentioned many times. It amuses me to work over an opponent’s arm and shoulder then lift them off the mat and listen to them cry out in pain for the match to end. I enjoy the Sleeper hold because it is totally dominating and it works on all wrestlers. I have fun using the Torture Rack because I’m a big wrestler and it really irks my opponents when I can lift them up on my shoulders and make them submit when they are unable to do that to me.
UNCLE PINKY: There are so many ways for James to win a match outside of the three submission hold finishers he listed on his Bio Sheet. Pinning an opponent is an easy way to obtain a win. Disabling an opponent to where they are unable to continue in the match is another way to win. Disabling your opponent to where they are outside of the ring and cannot return into the ring by the Referee’s ten count is another way. If anyone wants to be assigned to a match against James and they believe he cannot win except by submission they will be shocked and disappointed when James defeats them in other ways.
JAMES TUSCINI: Ramone I hope you’re paying attention. I have so many ways to defeat you if you focus on only one aspect of my wrestling you are making a mistake you are unable to recover from. Come to think of it you already made mistakes you can’t recover from. Interfering in my match and faking a pin on Joshua Acquin to cheat me out of winning the Roulette Title Belt are enough for me to pound you out of existence.
UNCLE PINKY: We have time for one more question. Yes the man in the business suit holding the briefcase.
The man in the business suit holding the briefcase stands up and presents his question.
MAN IN BUSINESS SUIT: My name is Ken Iwakashi and I’m a business reporter for the Associated Press in Tokyo and I also report on legal issues. You seem to present that your Draw at Blaze of Glory was an illegal decision on your match. The Referees are in charge of the matches and their decisions, although not always what the wrestlers would like, are legal and valid. Are you trying to say that you want to file a lawsuit to complain about that decision?
JAMES TUSCINI: Where did you get that idea from? I did say it was illegal for Steve Ramone to interfere in my match with Travis Nathanial Andrews which caused me a loss but I accept the decision on the Triple Threat match at Blaze of Glory. Yes it was a questionable decision, and I feel I should have won the match and the Roulette Title, but I cannot go back and change what happened. As you saw I walked away accepting the decision in the match and figured if anyone in Management felt it was a questionable decision they would figure out what to do about it. You saw that Management decided to put me against Steve Ramone again to end this feud. So now we will see if Ramone can go an entire match without cheating his way to another victory. I will soundly and easily defeat Steve Ramone and will assume the title of Roulette Champion.
UNCLE PINKY: We’re done answering questions. We will now discuss our upcoming match and opponent. If you wish to take notes and report what is said please feel free to remain in attendance. If you wish to leave please do so now.
A few people decide to leave but everyone else remains as they want to hear what James and Uncle Pinky have to say about Steve Ramone.
JAMES TUSCINI: Let’s ask some honest questions okay? Has Steve Ramone ever defeated me in a match? NOPE! Has he ever pinned me in a match? NOPE! Has Steve ever made me submit in a match? NOPE! Has he ever knocked me out in a match? NOPE! Sure one hell of a lot of NOPE going around on the part of Ramone eh? When you do the math it is clear that without cheating and interference Steve Ramone couldn’t beat off to a porn video so it is a guarantee that he is gonna lose to me. Now you understand why I brought Uncle Pinky in from being my relative to also being my Manager. There are many wrestlers here, primarily Steve Ramone, who are unable to win a wrestling match unless they cheat or have someone interfere in the match so Uncle Pinky is in my corner to ensure everything stays legal and honest.
UNCLE PINKY: If you think that I’m getting up there in age and that I’m unable to take care of myself you damn sure need to think again. This is a warning to Steve Ramone and his band of friends, acquaintances, managers, valet, goons, thugs, hit men, whatever the hell Ramone wants to call them, if you attempt to interfere in the match between James and Steve, or if you attempt an attack on us before the match, you will regret your decision and you will suffer immensely at my hands.
JAMES TUSCINI: Calm down Uncle. Maybe you should join me for my Martial Arts and meditation classes to you can learn to keep your demons under control as I’m doing.
UNCLE PINKY: *bleep* that shit James! I’m sick of cowardly chick shit wrestlers like Steve Ramone who can’t legally win a match so they have to resort to pre-match attacks, cheating, and interference. The bullshit stops now and I will not tolerate it on Sunday night at Climax Control!
JAMES TUSCINI: Gee, Steve, seems Uncle Pinky made that so clear that only an idiot wouldn’t understand it. Since you’re an idiot I will explain it to you. IF, and I have to say that it is a very questionable IF, you can legally defeat me in our match, without cheating, without interference, without having to have your hit men attack me prior to the match, then I damn sure will be the first person in the arena to congratulate you on the legal victory. However should you or your goons attack me prior to the match, interfere during our match, or if you step outside the rules and cheat to obtain an invalid win over me, all Hell will break loose. If Management doesn’t punish and suspend you for attacking others prior to your match then they aren’t gonna punish or suspend me for retaliating against you for the attacks. If the Referee fails to punish you for cheating and for interference in our match then they damn sure aren’t gonna punish me or Uncle Pinky for retaliating against your cheating and interference. If your friends, goons, thugs, or whatever the hell you want to call them, get involved in our match, and the Referee and Management does nothing to stop them and punish them then you can bet your ass that they will not stop or punish Uncle Pinky for stepping in to retaliate. If you want an honest wrestling match to legally decide the Roulette Championship then let’s do it. If you want to be a chicken shit asshole, attacking me and Uncle Pinky before the match, and having interference during the match, then you will have an all-out war that will make the American Revolution, Civil War, World War I, World War II, and the Vietnam War combined look pale in comparison. We can do this the right way or the all-out destroy each other way. It all depends upon how you play it Steve.
UNCLE PINKY: Well stated James! I would like to speak to the morons who associate with Steve Ramone. You are nothing more than hired thugs. I’ve heard the comments from the likes of J2H and Rage, and now from you Ramone, that you think my claim to being involved with an organization that some would refer to as the Italian Mafia is a joke. If you truly believe I’m a joke why don’t you test me? I have people standing by in case you want to do the test. If you think my age of 63 hinders me then give me a try as I will ace the test. I would love to kick ass and destroy a bunch of you young punk assholes to humiliate you so badly that you will wear brown paper bags over your heads for weeks as you will be too ashamed to show your faces!
JAMES TUSCINI: I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this passionate about something Uncle.
UNCLE PINKY: If you mess with my family you have to deal with me!
JAMES TUSCINI: How do you plan on approaching our match Steve? You know you cannot legally defeat me in any type of wrestling match. You know you’re a coward. You know you cannot get the job done one-on-one legally against me. You haven’t told a truthful thing since I’ve been here in Sin City Wrestling so that also makes you a liar. I’m coming to this match to have a fair and honest match but if you get out of line I will destroy you. No, Ramone, I don’t just mean that I will destroy your Roulette Title reign by defeating you. I mean I will also destroy you physically to the point where you may never be able to wrestle again. Is that really what you want? Maybe it is. I guess we’ll find out Sunday night. You stated you believe you will be the longest reigning Roulette Champion in the Federation? Sorry, Steve, but your reign as Roulette Champion ends on Sunday.
Uncle Pinky notifies the people in the Conference Room that the press conference is officially over and that all further talking on the part of James will be done at the Roulette Title match on May 1, 2016. We watch as the people file out of the Conference Room. James and Uncle Pinky remain on the stage at the podium until everyone has left the room. The two step off the stage and walk over to the production crew responsible for broadcasting their Press Conference. They thank each member of the crew personally before the two walk to the exit doors and disappear out of sight.
