There is so much you don’t know about James Tuscini. There is so much you want to know about James Tuscini. Today you will learn information about him but there are some things he will not reveal to you. What will happen today? You will find out shortly. What will happen at Climax Control? You will find out on March 20, 2016.
Today we are taken to the Fior de Italia restaurant located near Fisherman’s Wharf. James Tuscini is present at a pre-scheduled event where he will present his personal preference for lasagna. We take you now to the patio at the Fior de Italia restaurant in San Francisco.
We see that the patio area is an easy view from the area surrounding the restaurant. From the patio to the roped off area where viewers are to remain behind the rope is about 5 feet so the fans up close to the barrier are blessed with a clear view. We notice James is wearing blue jeans, black athletic shoes, and a black pullover shirt.
Thank you all for joining me today. As you know I’m scheduled for a wrestling event in Fort Defiance, Arizona on Sunday, March 20th against Travis Nathaniel Andrews, or as he likes to call himself, T-N-A, but I will be addressing that match later during a televised segment. You may be asking why I flew back to San Francisco to present a cooking demonstration when I need to be in Arizona. The reason is that I scheduled this demonstration months ago. When I make a commitment or a promise I keep them. I will not stiff my fans when I can do this cooking presentation and still be in Fort Defiance, Arizona ahead of the event to get settled in and be ready for my match.
James looks over the crowd in attendance. He notices there are around 100 people to see him and he also notices the majority of the fans are women. Well that was expected as you have a young and very attractive James Tuscini you can see in person so of course the women would come out in overwhelming numbers. The rough estimate is that the women outnumber the men by a 5-to-1 margin. Some of the women are whistling at James while others are blowing kisses and cat calling. James asks them to please calm down as there’s enough of him for everyone. At that comment the women, taking that as a sexual reference, get louder in their appreciation for Tuscini.
Ladies, please, I need to present a cooking demonstration and I need you to calm down. I know the eye candy is nice but remember I’m not actively looking for a girlfriend at this time. One of my favorite foods is lasagna. Any of you also love lasagna?
At that question everyone in attendance yells out that they love lasagna.
The lasagna I’m preparing today is my mother’s recipe. It consists of store-bought items such as the lasagna noodles, sausage, and cheese. When it comes to the sauce, though, that’s my mother’s private recipe. Before she died she gave me possession of that recipe and she asked me never to share it with anyone until I was also on my death bed and then I chose who I pass it on to. So I cannot reveal to you the ingredients of the sauce but trust me it is heavenly. Also remember that I’m in no way representing the food prepared at the Fior de Italia restaurant. They were polite enough to allow me to use their patio for my demonstration and that’s the extent of the relationship. Before I go on with the cooking demonstration does anyone in attendance not know the history of this restaurant? Raise your hands if you want to know a quick history of the restaurant.
Nearly half the hands go up which means most of the people in attendance are probably not from San Francisco proper.
This restaurant, the Fior de Italia, is the oldest Italian restaurant in San Francisco. I don’t know if it is the oldest Italian restaurant in California but it probably is. It is the oldest Italian restaurant in the United States? Probably not but I’ll research that another time. The Fior de Italian restaurant was opened in 1886. This current location was not the original location of the restaurant. After the major earthquake and fire of 1906, and after relocating a few times, they settled on this location near Fisherman’s Wharf. Okay are you ready for my lasagna cooking demonstration?
The fans cheer loudly with most of the women in attendance again cat calling, whistling, and begging for James to give them a kiss. He again asks them to calm down.
Ladies, please, I have to ask you to keep your hormones in check. I know the view is sweet but you have to control yourselves. I’m gonna make this demonstration quick on how I prepare my family’s lasagna and then since I already have a pan of lasagna cooked we don’t have to wait to see the end result. The ingredients are, as I previously stated, simple store-bought items except for my mother’s special sauce. I can only tell you she started with fresh tomatoes that she processed them into a sauce herself, then she added a special mix of herbs and spices, and the rest is history. For me the item that truly makes our family’s lasagna special is the Italian sausage we use. No it isn’t imported from Italy or purchased from an Italian deli in town. We purchase it at the grocery store and it is simply called Sweet Italian Sausage. Their tagline is THE WAY SAUSAGE SHOULD BE and I have to agree. Hmmm, that would make a great tagline for me in my wrestling eh? THE WAY AN ITALIAN WRESTLER SHOULD BE.
James holds up a package of the Premio Sweet Italian Sausage so the crowd can see it and he then yells out.
Who wants some of my sweet Italian sausage?
The women in attendance, again mistaking Tuscini’s remark to be a sexual reference, squeal in excitement and some of them nearly pass out from being so excited.
Damn! You ladies need to pour some cold water over you to cool you off! Okay so the concept is simple just like any lasagna recipe you’ve done at home. You put a little sauce in the bottom of the pan. Next you layer some lasagna noodles. Add a mixture of ground sweet Italian sausage, sauce, and a mixture of ricotta and mozzarella cheese, and you are ready to repeat this process until you have the pan full of lasagna. You then top it off with the remaining sauce and cheese and then bake it in the oven for 40 minutes to an hour until it is the consistency of what you want. I suggest you check on it at the 40 minute mark and then you decide if you want to bake it longer. Let me get the already baked lasagna out for you can see if yourself.
James walks over to a warming oven where he removes a previously prepared and baked pan of lasagna. He cuts the lasagna into reasonable size pieces and then he placed one of the pieces on a plate. He holds it up in front of him while partaking in some of the lasagna and then describing to the crowd his experience.
Hmmmm! This is how lasagna should be. It should be firm enough to easily slide all the way in while at the same time soft enough to not be hard on the inside of your mouth. The way I make the lasagna the sauce is enough that when you place the lasagna in your mouth the sauce oozes out of the sides of your month and over your lips to dribble down your chin. It tastes so good that you cannot help but take your hand and wipe the dribbling sauce off your chin and back into your mouth to swallow the goodness. And, oh, the feeling you get when it slides down your throat!
At those comments by James some of the women in the crowd who were taking everything James said as a sexual reference pass out and collapse from their excitement. James shakes his head wondering how people can allow themselves to get so out of control and misinterpret everything he said. We watch as workers from the Fior de Italian restaurant rush out and help revive those who passed out.
I believe that’s enough cooking demonstration for today. If I were to continue we would have to get Paramedics here to revive all those who passed out from being over-excited and that’s not what I’m about. If you’re still in the area, and you have access to view my broadcast later concerning my match with Travis Nathaniel Andrews, it will be airing live from the lounge in the Fior de Italia restaurant in two hours.
Tuscini turns from the crowd and he walks into the Fior de Italia restaurant to get cleaned up and change his clothing.
*two hours later*
James is seated in the lounge next to the bar in the Fior de Italia restaurant. He changed his clothing from his previous attire due to getting some sauce, etc., spilled on them during the cooking demonstration. Now we see James is dressed in a clean pair of blue jeans, a white pullover shirt, and white athletic shoes. He is sitting in a large white over-stuffed chair in the lounge. The cameraman signals to James that they are on live broadcast.
I have to admit the lasagna cooking demonstration got a bit hotter than I anticipated. I know I’m Italian, and so handsome that other men have to hide their faces in shame, but those women at the cooking demonstration were overly excited in many ways. There are many men out there who would take advantage of women who want to throw themselves on you but I’m not like that. My mother taught me to treat everyone, especially women, nicely. That’s a good lead in for my overall comments for my opponent for March 20th who is none other than Travis Nathaniel Andrews, but as he likes to call himself, T-N-A. *sigh* There’s a lot I don’t know about Travis. But what I do know about him is what I found from what his Bio sheet states and what others in Sin City Wrestling have told me. Let me begin by talking about the information on his Bio sheet as that is what most people look at first before they talk to others for information.
James pulls out a manila folder that he opens and removes a printout of the Bio sheet of TNA.
First I would like to make a statement concerning the Climax Control card and the tagline comments listed for my match with TNA. Specifically it states: “Traditionally the opening match is used to set the tempo for the entire show. To work the crowd up into a fever pitch with action and excitement that will extend throughout the entire night. Nowhere else will you find a man more likely to do that that Mister TNA himself, Travis Nathanial Andrews. With a look alone he can work a crowd into a fevered frenzy…” That’s an awesome thing for me and TNA to have for our match. I’ll promise you I’ll make this such an exciting match people will be talking about it for weeks or months. But, Travis, you have to remember something. Whipping the crowd into a frenzy doesn’t equate into whipping me. Next I wish to comment on what I think is wrong with a person who absolutely has to be called by a three word name. Obviously I don’t do that since I don’t have a middle name but even if I did there is no way I would demand to be called by my full three word name. I’ve never understood those who are so self-conscious, or short in some areas, that they felt by using their entire three word name would suddenly give some validation to an otherwise invalid personality. Travis Nathaniel Andrews eh? So you like to call yourself T-N-A eh? I will call you W-A-S which stands for Worthless As Shit. Now that I have that out of the way let’s talk about our families okay?
Tuscini flips the pages of the Bio sheet of TNA until he comes to the family history portion.
You state your father was a wrestler, and he made good money to support the family, but he was abusive to your family. Don’t get upset that I’m discussing this since it is public information on your Bio sheet. I contrast you in that my father was a hard-working man but he treated my mother and me with the utmost in love and respect. My father passed away from a sudden heart attack when I was just becoming a teenager. That was so hard on me and my mother. I was too young to work and mother had no skills to work outside of the home. She did what she could by taking in sewing jobs and washing of clothes to provide food for us and to pay the mortgage on the home. That’s where my mother’s brother, my Uncle Pinky, came in. He helped keep us in our home by supplementing my mother’s income so we wouldn’t lose the home. He promised to help us until I was old enough to work and he kept that promise. When I turned 16 I was able to work some part-time jobs after school. After my mother died in 2011 I decided to pay back Uncle Pinky for his kindness. Now we live together so that Uncle doesn’t have to stress that his small retirement check cannot pay all the bills. That’s what family is about Travis. Staying together, taking care of each other, watching each other’s back, but apparently you know none of that if what you state on your Bio sheet is true.
James browses through the information on the Bio sheet of Andrews until he finds the information he is looking for.
I noticed that you did the reasonable thing and that was to leave your abusive home and strike out on your own. You got into wrestling at an early age and I commend you for that accomplishment. You got into wrestling 6 years before I did since I didn’t get into the sport until I was 22 years of age. However I noticed something revealing in the information listed on your Bio sheet. Perhaps I’m misinterpreting what you were saying or you simply tend to rely on the past since you have nothing current to rely on? I don’t pretend to know the entire story but maybe when I explain what I’m reading, and how I’m interpreting it, maybe you can explain your side of the story. You seem to have tons of wrestling history in numerous wrestling federations which, by itself, could be considered relevant information. Well it could be relevant to someone who gives a shit about information that doesn’t mean a damn thing when it comes to what we are doing here in Sin City Wrestling. Didn’t you hear me talk about the fact that I have significant history in other wrestling federations? Weren’t you listening when I told everyone that what I did anywhere else is totally irrelevant to my being here in SCW? The only thing that matters to me, Travis, is what we’ve all done during our time in Sin City Wrestling. Would you like me to evaluate what you’ve done since you signed up with Sin City Wrestling? I know you don’t want me to talk about it because you feel the fans are so stupid that they won’t realize it on their own. I’m here to expose the fakes and you, my friend, are about to be exposed.
The Bartender walks over and he delivers a glass of red wine to James, Tuscini thanks the Bartender and he slips him a significant tip for his services and the Bartender returns to the bar. Tuscini sips the wine before placing the glass on a table next to the chair.
From what I’ve been able to gather from talking to others in Sin City Wrestling is that you signed up to work in SCW around January 2015. That means you’ve been working in this federation for a little over a year. Before I reveal additional information I found I would like to ask you several questions and I hope you would respond to your television set after I ask each question. So, Travis, you’ve been in Sin City Wrestling for around 14 months. Have you ever held the SCW World Heavyweight Title Belt? I don’t mean have you ever held it in your hands while someone else was the Champion. I’m asking you have you ever won the World Heavyweight Title? Have you ever won the Roulette Title? Have you ever won the Tag Team Title Belts here? Have you ever won the Internet Championship here in SCW? Let me pause for 30 seconds to let you answer the questions I just asked.
James looks at his watch and when the 30 seconds is up he returns to looking into the camera.
Travis here is what I assume just happened. The instant I started asking you what Title Belts you won here in Sin City Wrestling I’m sure you plugged your ears by putting your fingers in them and then you started screaming NEENER NEENER NEENER NO NO NO BLAH BLAH BLAH to try to drown out my questions. Since I’m live on television and you are not in the room with me, and I doubt that you will call me on my cell phone to talk to me on live television, let me tell the viewers what your answers to each of my questions were. TNA you have not won any title at any time during your tour of duty here in Sin City Wrestling. Didn’t you list 101 accomplishments and brag about all the Title Belts you had in all those other wrestling federations? I told you that prior history doesn’t mean shit here in SCW. What the hell have you done here? Nothing except to act like you’re better than everyone else. Now that I totally blew your ship out of the water I wish to go on to another topic that will show the fans other differences we have between us.
Tuscini flips through the Bio sheet once again and he stops on the page that has the information he was looking for.
Travis I don’t rely totally on what a person places on their Bio sheet because it only represents their opinions of how they look. I’ve talked with others in SCW to get more information and, surprisingly, everyone confirms that the information on your Bio sheet is pretty much how it is with you. I was told that you’re an arrogant jerk. I was told you think everyone is of a lower status than you and that you don’t like dealing with anyone you feel is beneath you. They also tell me that you feel your wrestling skills are so much better than everyone else. I assume the reason you have this jerk attitude is that your father was a jerk. If my father had been a jerk I would have done all in my power to ensure I never ended up being like him. Apparently that concept totally went in one ear and straight through your empty head and out the other ear without registering. I don’t like rich arrogant jerks like you Travis. I already mentioned earlier how tough it was to struggle to pay the mortgage, buy food, and wear somewhat decent clothing after my father died suddenly. I don’t know if you remember a song by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons called Rag Doll. It was about a man who was well off and he fell in love with a woman who happened to be from the poor side of town. All his so-called friends ridiculed him and insulted the girl by calling her a Rag Doll because her clothing was tattered because she was poor. The concept of the song is that although she was poor in the financial area she was one of the richest people with the love, desire, and dedication in her heart. The man in the song ignored his abusive friends and stayed with his Rag Doll girlfriend and they had a wonderful happy life together.
James picks up the wine glass and he drinks most of the remaining wine. The moment he removes the glass from his lips the Bartender is there to pour more wine into the glass. Again James thanks the Bartender and slips him another generous tip.
Why did I tell you that I hate spoiled rich people and about the song Rag Doll? Because after my father died we could barely afford to pay the mortgage. We could barely buy enough food for two meals a day. And the concept of wearing new clothing was out of the equation. I had to rely on clothing that was sewn and patched by my mother. Since I didn’t have any siblings I never had what a family calls hand-me-downs but we did get clothing donations from our friends and neighbors. I guess the term would still be hand-me-downs but rarely did we receive clothing that didn’t have rips, tears, holes, or stains on them, that my mother needed to repair for me to go to school. I heard the taunts of Rag Doll and many other derogatory terms daily for many years due to our situation. Most of those taunts came from those like you who were born into money, had all the nice clothing they wanted, all the food to eat, and they felt they were better than me. I can tell you this Travis that after I graduated from High School I worked hard and then worked harder when I went into wrestling and I’m doing fantastic now. And, yes, I’ve looked up most of those spoiled rich kids who taunted me back then and I’m here to tell you that most of them are either broke, have a horrible marriage, have abusive kids who treat them like shit, they are drug addicts, or a combination of all the above. I’m the successful one from my neighborhood and not them.
James again raises the wine glass to his lips. He sips some wine and savors it. He does this several times until the glass is nearly empty. Again the Bartender walks over to offer more wine to James but Tuscini declines this time but still he thanks the Bartender with a generous tip.
What you need to know about me is that I’m nice, kind, and generous to everyone. Well with the exception of people who act like a jerk to me or insult me or my family. I treat a Janitor with the same level of respect I treat the CEO of a company. Nobody deserves to be treated like crap just because their social or economic situation isn’t up to the standards of the person delivering the abuse. Apparently, Travis, you’ve failed to learn that concept over your years because you are a spoiled brat punk and what you need is someone like me to beat some sense into you. For damn sure I’m not worried about you defeating me in our match as your history in Sin City Wrestling speaks for itself. Welcome to the office of Doctor James Tuscini, Proctologist, where I gladly ream you a new asshole free of charge. Maybe when I rip you a new asshole and you can easily evacuate all the hatred and stupidity out of your insides, you will change for the better. I promise to blow you so far out of the water that they will need the Hubble Space Telescope to find out where you went. If that doesn’t help you improve your attitude then I guess nothing will.
James stands up and walks out of the lounge. He walks through the Fior de Italia restaurant and stops by the front door of the restaurant.
Before I hop into a cab and head home I wish to make a comment to Steve Ramone. You know what Steve you’re a jerk but you already know that. You had the nerve to explain that the reason you interfered in Joshua Acquin’s match was to distract him into losing because although you defeated him for the Roulette Title he wasn’t the Champion at the time. Then you got even more smart ass to state that you’re relatively sure Joshua Acquin won’t be your next challenger for the Roulette Title. Watch your back Steve because it could be me as your next challenger for the Roulette Championship.
After James renders the comments in the direction of Steve Ramone he steps out the front door into the main street. The instant he steps out of the restaurant the women who were sexually aroused early apparently haven’t cooled off yet and they start cat calling, hooting, whistling, and grabbing at James. He spies a cab and quickly gets into it. He asks them to drive to the San Francisco International Airport even though he doesn’t have a flight to catch. He explains to the driver he knows these hormone fueled women will follow in other vehicles so he hopes the long drive down to the airport will distract them. Then they can lose them inside the airport parking areas and once the women are distracted and lost James will change cabs to a different one to return home so that the women won’t find out where he and Uncle Pinky live.
