ALL IS GOOD
NARRATOR: All is good. James Tuscini and Dmitri, as Unholy Alliance Tag Team, handed a defeat to John Dough and Eyesnsane, also known as The Members of the Elders Tag Team, at Climax Control 171. They can’t complain about their loss as they were given advance warning they would lose. But now we need to focus on what’s in the future for James Tuscini. Without further delay I turn you over to James Tuscini and Pinky del Ferrando in San Francisco, California.
James Tuscini, and his Uncle and Manager Pinky del Ferrando, come up on our screen. We have not been informed of their location but it appears to be in a Gym. James is wearing his normal wrestling attire and Pinky is wearing medium-gray sweat pants and Sweat shirt. When the cameraman informs them they are live broadcasting the two turn their attention to the camera.
JAMES: There’s a reason we didn’t want the Narrator to give away our location.
PINKY: We wanted to be the ones to tell you where we are. This is the main place where James works out and spars.
JAMES: We’re at the Dragon House MMA located at 4696 Mission Street in San Francisco. We live in the Mission District around 20th Street where it crosses Guerrero Street and Van Ness. Dragon House MMA is located further South down Mission Street about a mile or two from our home. You may have also noticed we don’t drive around San Francisco but we take either a taxi, bus, or the BART train, to get around the City as driving a personal vehicle is not easy in a town as heavily populated as San Francisco is. We also walk a lot when a location we’re visiting is close by so we get exercise and enjoy meeting people on our trips. All is good with me and Pinky in San Francisco.
PINKY: We come to Dragon House MMA to work out, train, and spar, because these are mostly MMA fighters so most people wouldn’t think of looking for us in here. Of course now that I mentioned that fact all the ring rats and reporters will be coming here to try to get a glimpse of us. It’s all good though. The down side is that these MMA fighters think their shit don’t stink and that wrestlers suck so there are times James has to get into the ring and straighten them out.
No sooner do those words come out of Pinky’s mouth than one of the MMA fighters with a huge attitude comes up and gets in their face.
MMA FIGHTER: What are you wimp punk ass wrestlers doing here? This is an MMA facility.
JAMES: I’m James Tuscini and I’m a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. I’ve been coming here for years as the owner is my friend, and this is my Uncle and my Manager, Pinky del Ferrando. Pinky is not a wrestler so please don’t lump him in your comments as being something he’s not. Now if you will please excuse me I’m airing a segment and then I want to get in some weights and a sparring match.
MMA FIGHTER: You want a sparring match? How about you face me punk? I’m 6-0 in MMA fights and to be honest I don’t like Italians so it would be my pleasure to kick your Wop ass.
Pinky lunges at the MMA fighter but James holds him back.
JAMES: Uncle back off!
PINKY: This moron just called us the equivalent of calling a Black person the N word! I can’t let that go!
JAMES: All is good Uncle. Let’s finish up with some comments and then I’ll get in the ring with racist boy here to show him that insulting a full-blooded Sicilian Italian gets you hurt.
MMA FIGHTER: This I gotta see! I’ll be in the ring waiting for you.
PINKY: Yeah you wait in the ring for your ass kicking jerk!
The MMA fighter laughs at the old man Pinky del Ferrando issuing a threat. James and Pinky turn to the camera to make a few comments before getting into the ring to spar.
JAMES: All is good. Me and Dmitri did exactly what we said we would do and that was to slam dunk Jon Dough and Eyesnsane and hand them a defeat in the Tag Team match at Climax Control 171. At Climax Control 172 we have Dying Breed versus Jet City for the World Tag Team Championship. Although Unholy Alliance should be the only Tag Team worthy to face off against the Tag Champs for the Title Belts Management has seen fit to send Dying Breed, Andrew and Ivan, up against them. To be honest I don’t give a rat’s ass if Jet City retains the Tag Titles or if Dying Breed wins and becomes the new Tag Champs. Either way we will challenge them and defeat them. We actually admire Ivan and Andrew so it would be nice to see them win the Tag Team Championship so that Unholy Alliance can defeat them and take control of the Title Belts. Now please excuse me while I beat some over-confident, racially insensitive, shit-for-brains, MMA fighter’s ass in less than five minutes.
Tuscini walks over to the ring and he climbs inside. The owner, who is a friend of James and Pinky, offers to officiate the sparring match. He motions for the bell and the MMA fighter goes on the attack with swift kicks and punches to the legs, body, and head of James but Tuscini manages to fend off or block most of the blows. We can tell the MMA fighter getting frustrated as he claimed to be undefeated and a monster in the ring yet he’s having trouble putting away James who he called a mere wrestler. When the MMA fighter looks over at the owner of the facility James takes the advantage of his distraction by leaping into the air and landing a hard kick to the shoulder of the opponent. This catches the MMA fighter by surprise and when he tries to recover James pulls an arm drag on the guy on the arm he just kicked. When the MMA fighter stands up James pulls the MMA fighter’s injured arm into a Hammer Lock and then picks him up and slams him into the mat on the already hurt shoulder. James then drags the punk to his feet, places him into a Hammer Lock again, and this time he lifts him off the mat with his patented Mafia Hit Flying Hammer Lock finisher. The pain on the MMA fighter’s shoulder is excruciating but when the owner asks him if he wants to submit he tells him to F-off and that he will not submit. James lets the MMA fighter down to the mat where his feet touch the mat. James leaves him on his feet for a split second before cinching up on the Hammer Lock and again lifting the punk off the mat. This time James Tuscini jumps up and down adding extreme pain to the man’s arm and shoulder. This time when asked if he wants to submit he does. James releases the man from his grip and the man drops to the mat onto his injured shoulder and he lets out a scream from the pain while holding his arm. James walks over and reaches out his hand to help the MMA fighter up but the man it still so indignant that he slaps Tuscini’s hand away and spits at him. That causes James to kick the man in the already hurt shoulder as hard as he can. This causes the MMA fighter to cringe and curl up in a fetal position. The owner steps over and asks James to stop beating on the man, even if he is a jerk, as he is one of their top fighters at Dragon House MMA. James exits the ring to join up with Pinky to finish their segment.
JAMES: What the F…? The owner said that fool was one of the best MMA fighters they have at Dragon House MMA? He didn’t even last five minutes with me! How in the hell did he end up with a 6-0 record? Maybe they gave him easy opponents like they did with Rhonda Rousey. For sure that racist jerk punk ass I just owned found out quickly that wrestlers are not a joke. All is good.
PINKY: Let’s get onto the subject of our next opponent for Climax Control 172.
James and Pinky walk over to a quiet area of the Gym to be able to present their comments without further interruptions. Not like anyone will mess with them after they saw Tuscini own the smart ass MMA guy.
JAMES: Taking on, and taking out, that MMA fighter was easy. Xander it will be even easier to take you out on Sunday Night in our Street Fight Grudge Match. Gee, Bishop, you just couldn’t let the three of us do a legitimate Rap Battle so you had to attack me instead? I’ve seen some cowardly things in my day but I think you managed to lower the bar on being a coward. I’ve heard the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is planning on replacing the definition of COWARD to just a photo of you instead.
PINKY: There are several things working against you in this Street Fight Xander. You cannot have friends help you during the match or the Referee will end the match and you will lose. James is so awesome he needs no help to win any match with any rules and any stipulations. Therefore we are not going to lose due to having interference in the match. We have no intention of losing this match. You will realize that reality once our match starts.
JAMES: So you grew up in Atlanta? Well, Bishop, I was born in San Francisco, grew up here, and lived in San Francisco all my life. Trust me that comparing growing up in the streets of Atlanta as compared to growing up in the streets of San Francisco there is no comparison.
PINKY: It’s like this Bishop. Growing up in San Francisco, as both myself and James did it, was like walking through a gauntlet of fire with knives and explosives coming at us from every angle 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We have Italian, Chinese, Korea, Vietnamese, Black, Hispanic, and Asian gangs in San Francisco and each ethnic group has their own district. Trust me you constantly get attacked if you cross the street to go into a store and you are just one block into someone else’s territory. For you growing up in Atlanta it was like listening to birds chirp, watching magical Unicorns dancing in the park, eating Skittles and farting rainbows, and listening to Barry Manilow music. If you think your pampered life from Atlanta is more than a match for James growing up in a really tough street environment in San Francisco you’re not thinking properly.
JAMES: Another disadvantage you have is your size. At 5 feet 11 inches and 217 pounds you are giving up 5 inches of height and 23 pounds of weight. I will use my height and weight to my advantage during our match. It will all come together and when the match is over, and I win and you lose, you will fully understand why I utter the comment ALL IS GOOD as all is good with me but your situation will suck and be filled with pain from the beating you receive from me.
PINKY: The last thing working in favor of James is that you two are going to be tossed out in the streets of Santa Barbara, California, to fight until one of you gets pinned or submits or gets knocked out. Here’s a hint for you Bishop. James will not be the one to get pinned, he will not submit, and I dare you to try to knock him out.
JAMES: I know you’re listening to, and believing, the rumors backstage and that’s a mistake. The rumors are that I lost a lot of matches since October 2016 and my winning percentage dropped a bit and everyone thinks I’m washed up and done with my career in wrestling. But, Xander, those rumors are false. All is good in Tuscini Land. Let me clarify things for you so that you cannot claim you were not informed. I don’t focus on losses I focus on my victories. Every wrestler takes losses here and there. I focus on accomplishments instead of non-accomplishments. How many people can lay claim to coming to a wrestling federation and winning a Title Belt in less than 3 months as I can? How many people in Sin City Wrestling can lay claim to holding a Title Belt two times in their first year as I can? Wrestlers shouldn’t focus on the fact that they lost a Title Belt shortly after winning it. They should focus on the fact that they won the Title Belt in the first place. When you purchase a donut look at the size of the donut and not the size of the hole in the donut. When you have a glass half filled with liquid don’t bitch that the glass is half empty focus on the fact that the glass is half full. If you have that outlook on life then all is good.
PINKY: People try to disrespect James about his run since October 2016 but they fail to realize that their comments are lame and will not affect James or his wrestling performance. If you take into account World War II, and the fact that the United States was fighting a two-front war, one in Europe and one in the Pacific, you come to find out some interesting information. The United Stated did not win the majority of battles during World War II. In fact in the Pacific they lost the majority of the battles. But you have to take into consideration that if you are involved in 10 battles and you lose 9 of those 10 battles it isn’t the end of the war. As long as you win the 1 battle that wins the war you are the winner and all is good. If James has to continually face opponents who focus on their losses, their inability to win a wrestling match, and they doubt their wrestling abilities, it simply mean James will obtain more wins. James wins the battles that count. James wins the war and all is good.
JAMES: Xander if you think you as a street thug rapper wannabe has what it takes to defeat a Full-Blooded Sicilian Italian in a Street Fight man you are in for the surprise of your life. I’ve had to fight every day of my life growing up in San Francisco and I’ve stood up to, and taken out, punks way tougher than you can ever dream of being. You’re just like the MMA fighter I just took out here at Dragon House MMA. He thought his shit didn’t stink and I proved to him that his fighting stinks like a week-old diaper full of shit. So, Bishop, if you still have the courage to show up in Santa Barbara, at the University of California Santa Barbara Events Center, and then you’re stupid enough to step into the street with me for this Street Fight, be warned in advance it won’t be pretty and you will be on the receiving end of a major ass whupping!
Pinky del Ferrando informs the cameraman they are done with their segment for today. The two pick up their gym bags and start to walk out of the Gym while the cameraman remains focused on them. When they pass the MMA fighter James easily defeated in the ring earlier Tuscini turns and gives him a stern look and when the MA fighter backs off James laughs.
JAMES: Ha ha ha! ALL IS GOOD!
James and Pinky exit Dragon House MMA and when the door closes after them the cameraman cuts his feed and the Network cuts to a commercial break.
