The Chronicles of Carter
Act 1; Scene 2
Las Vegas, Nevada
The waiting room to the office of Gail Delacore; LMHC - NCC
Carter had been coming here to see Doctor Delacore since the middle of March. Her rule from the very first session was that she wanted him to visit her every other week by default. Same as any of her other patients, his celebrity status as a professional wrestler meant nothing to her as a professional. She was his doctor, and he her patient. Nothing more, no less. But he had to take a break from his session because of the overseas tour in recent weeks, of which she was not pleased but accepted with the expectation that she would be providing him with additional 'assignments' outside of their one on one meetings.
The issue was that these sessions were getting more difficult to explain to Miles. Carter refused to lie to Miles, but he also didn't want to lay any additional burdens at the feet of a man who was fast proving himself to be a very loving and understanding boyfriend - which just made Carter feel even worse in not divulging to Miles the fact he was in therapy -- or the reasons why. Oh he had little doubt that Mikes would understand and accept the fact, it was simply the sort of man that he was. But the sort of man that he was would also want to be there for him and Carter already felt as if Miles was doing too much for him already. What with providing him with a place to live until he got his own place, not that he was in any hurry, to simply being there for him, body and soul. Miles was simply everything Carter wanted and more.
The issue was that there were times in the deepest part of his mind that made him feel that it wasn't about what he did or didn't want. It was more about what he deserved. And he had this deep rooted fear that someone like him didn't deserve someone like Miles.
"Why do you continue to believe that?" Doctor Delacore asked, bringing Carter from out of his ramblings. Gail Delacore was a professional in her mid to late fifties, and carried herself as a consummate professional. Her office was designed to bring abut comfort to not only the body, but the mind as well. There was minimal decor save for a handful of tasteful artistic paintings adorning the wall, local Las Vegas artists that she had chosen to support and appreciate. She had some hanging potted plants descended from the office ceiling, not only pleasing to the eye but the green and colorful fauna gave off scents that seemed to have a calming effect to the mind. Whether this was because the good doctor was a true fan of gardening and plant life, or because the plants had the previously mentioned effects, she refused to answer to him. She just gave him a coy smile and told him to start talking.
The doctor leaned forward against hr desk, opposite of her patient. She said, as her eyes bared down into his own, "Don't think I didn't notice how you'd ever so subtly change the subject or slip into another topic of conversation with me."
Carter felt his cheeks flush and could feel the heat rising at his neck. He hadn't even been entirely certain that he had been avoiding the subject. But she wasn't to be deterred and she rested her chin on the curled fingers of her left hand as she observed, "You hadn't said anything like this in our last two sessions, Carter. I was beginning to hope that little cloud over your eyes had been lifted and you started seeing yourself the same way this young man seems to see you."
Indeed, from the start, Carter had told her all about Miles and their history together. And while to the untrained mind one might believe this to be the catalyst of why Carter had started visiting her, Gail Delacore knew the reasons ran deeper. From everything Carter had told her, Miles Kasey was a wondrous and caring individual. One of the chief reasons he had been able to escape the abusive hell he had found himself in with Lazarus. One of Carter's greatest worries at the beginning was that this was something akin to a rebound relationship, to help him heal from what Lazarus had put him through.
But it was Doctor Delacore who had helped him come to realize that his feelings for Miles predated his relationship with Lazarus. It was also she who helped him to accept that his heart had never truly been in what he and Lazarus had together, and that fact was one of the reasons why their relationship had been doomed from the start. Lazarus's abusive behavior simply escalated the inevitable.
Many therapists and psychiatrists had a strict and rigid way of doing things as far as bringing out the best in their patients. With Doctor Delacore? Not so much. From the first moment he had sat down opposite of this older, more experienced woman, she had defied all expectations of him. Carter had never been to a therapist before, even following his parents' divorce. But whatever his expectations were -- they did not include the lecture she gave him from the get go. She even insisted on the young man calling her by her Christian name of Gail when the egos of many doctors would forbid such a thing.
She had told him all she wanted him to do was talk to her. Just talk - about anything and everything that was troubling him and bit by bit, she would ask questions and offer nuggets of wisdom. Things he desperately needed to hear. She didn't force things out of him as others in her field might. Not because she was stringing him along like a cash cow, but because she believed it best that people opened up to her best when they did so naturally. Her questions helped, but she felt their minds healed best when they did so at their own pace.
In past sessions, Carter cried. He screamed. All things the doctor not only tolerated but actively encouraged. And it had been working splendidly for the both of them -- until recent weeks when something from out of the blue happened and had seemingly caused a setback. Something he was not quite ready to discuss. Not yet.
Carter rubbed his forehead, his eyes downcast and he said painfully, "I thought so too. I-I don't even know where this came from. For weeks, everything seemed to be going so perfect! I know I have a bad habit of thinking the other shoe is going to drop and for once, it didn't. I thought -- I mean, I was really starting to accept everything for what it is."
He leaned back in his chair, shaking his head as he admitted, "Well, everything but our living situation."
"What about it?"
Carter finally looked up to her and confessed, "I've been living with Miles since the breakup with Lazarus. I was homeless, and Miles gave me a place to stay. Then... well, you know what happened. Miles and I just -- clicked. Sort of naturally. I don't think I've slept in the room he gave me ever since he and I got together. I got comfortable, maybe a little too comfortable, and then last week the loft I had with Lazarus sold."
"So?"
"So..." Carter followed up. "I can finally afford my own place. Problem is, I already feel like I'm where I belong."
To her credit, Gail smiled at the young man. She was as open minded a person as Carter could have hoped for when looking for an impartial ear to help him. She came highly regarded and it had been easy to see why, despite her unique way of doing things.
"Carter," She said gently. "You said yourself that what evolved between Miles and yourself happened naturally. That is why this is no mere rebound between the two of you, but something more. I mean, I've never met the man but if you've been one hundred percent honest with me..." She rose a silent brow in questioning and Carter nodded in the affirmative. She then went on, "Even I can see what's in front of you. And I want you to be able to see it and accept it too. Whether it's your relationship with Miles, or your living situation. I can tell you through personal experience that when things happen naturally, on their own?" She smiled. "Those make for the best of experiences."
"Have you ever went into a given situation, whether it be at you workplace or some social gathering, not knowing what to expect? That's sort of where I am this week. You see, I have to be the fist to admit there ever since SCU closed and I was hired on to the SCW's Superstar roster, I haven't exactly given Mark Ward and Christian Underwood every reason under the sun to consider me a good hire. I mean, yes. I held every title that was imaginable in SCU, but I'm not really living up to that hype very well. Don't get me wrong! I've had some great matches and some pretty good wins, if I do say so myself -- which I just did. Someone still in his younger years in this sport doesn't just get a win over a veteran bad ass like Bill Barnhart through sheer, dumb luck. (Or maybe they do, but I'd just as well toot my own horn with that win. Toot, toot!) But even I can't lie and say I've been making people sit up and take notice. I probably have people wondering how on earth I managed to win so many titles down in Sin City Underground but have been on something of a losing streak in Sin City Wrestling. Some may try and tell you that SCU simply wasn't as competitive but I can tell you that's a load! SCU was wild and unpredictable and had just as high a competitive level as SCW has, but they were just at different levels. That's all."
"If anything, I think I can testify that I came into SCW thinking... well, not to be too crude but thinking I was the shit. I'm not even 24, and I was the youngest Underground Champion in SCU history and won every title they put me up for. I came here thinking that the same success was just going to fall into my lap and -- it didn't. Men like Malachi and Vaugh and a number of others put me in my place, for lack of a better term."
"My point is, I've done well, but I am nowhere near where I would like to be at this stage of my career. My last time around, I went down to the Roulette Champion, and trust me losing a match to Peter Vaughn is nothing to be ashamed of! But I wanted that non-title win so bad I could taste it! I wanted to prove myself and move on to the Ultimate X match at Summer XXXTreme XI but... it just wasn't meant to be. I don't know if I'll be given another opportunity to earn my way into that title match, but I can tell you right now that it won't be coming as a result of this match coming up."
"I asked for another chance in the ring, and I think the higher ups lack of faith in me is starting to show through. Not because I'm in the opening match because I was taught a long time ago when I first stepped inside of the GO Gym that there are times when the opening match is just as important to the night's events as the main event. Only... not this time. I think this time is either a punishment or a last chance sort of situation that I find myself in because -- I'm wrestling -- Sal Darius. Yeah, I know! Two matches in and I still don't know anything about the guy except he would have made the perfect attraction during the Unsolved Mysteries tour because he is SCW's biggest enigma! He's a ghost to the men's roster and to the public because nobody knows anything about him! He doesn't show his face backstage or with the fans. He doesn't cut your basic promo as even the most common of courtesies. He just pops into the ring against some poor schmo - who in this case just so happens to be moi, and loses. Then wash, rinse and repeat for his next encounter."
"Which just boggles the mind because why in hell would anyone work so hard as to earn a contract with Sin City Wrestling -- only to totally and completely squander it? You're being given the chance of a lifetime in the top promotion, getting to compete against the very best and you just piss it away! You make no effort. It's almost like Sal thinks he made it here and that's the important part. What else is here for him to accomplish and why should he even bother..."
"Okay, I get the message. I'm not entirely sure if it's Mark or Christian sending it to me, but I think I know where I stand. Maybe they think the same thing of me that I think of Sal. That I got the bosses to sign me, why work any harder when I'm already a proven commodity elsewhere? And ... I don't want them thinking that of me. Because I may be a lot of things, but I am NOT the same as Sal Darius! Unlike him, I try. I may not have the best win-loss record, but I try! I put in the efforts expected of me. The problem is, I'm not putting in the efforts that *I* expect out of myself and that is what I am going to change, starting Sunday."
"That is why I'm here, that is what has me wondering. If the bosses put me up against a guy who doesn't even try, is it more of a reflection on him or on me? Well, after Sunday the answer is going to become crystal clear because the fog has been lifted. I am going to scratch and claw my way back to where I want to... no, to where I deserve to be! And as for Sal Darius? I am going to leave him with every reason to never want to show his face around here ever again."
