Steve’s night at Into the Void V didn’t go as planned as he lost the chance at the Roulette Championship though he wasn’t pinned or forced to submit as James made Matt Spears submit to his torture rack, on top of all that Steve’s troubles at home with reached a fever pinch as Charlotte not only knows about his mistress but one of the women he spent a night with back in January, namely Sophie, has come forward claiming that he impregnated her, however he will have to put that aside this week on Climax Control.
For starters the show was a benefit show for the American Humane Society so the Superstars and Bombshells had to bring their pets in if they had any, Steve’s family owned a Golden Labrador called Dio, named after the legendary metal vocalist Ronnie James Dio, so that was covered but Steve was also in action against a man who made his surprise return at Into the Void V by attacking Rage following the Internet Championship match Kain, it was a battle of the veterans but right now Steve was desperate for a win but can he pull it off
The Jeremy Kyle Show (US Version)
Thursday the 16th of June 2016, 11:00am
I know what you’re thinking, who the fuck is Jeremy Kyle, why does he have a show and why am I on it? And whilst I’m still clueless as to the answers behind the first two questions I can at least answer the third question and yes, it has everything to do with my divorce.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock since Blaze of Glory you know that SCW has just completed a tour of Japan and has returned to its home city for the latest edition of Climax Control where I’m set to face the returning Kain in singles competition and I’ll get to Kain later but until now here’s what you need to know about my current situation, long story short Charlotte found out about my mistress whilst I was in Japan after she sent her a friend request on Facebook not long after she was bragging about banging a married man, Charlotte asked her over and over if it was me and whilst she was defiant at first she admitted it.
Needless to say, my mistress makes every member of the Mean Girls not named Mercedes Vargas look like Albert Einstein!
To be fair I did some research during the week off to prepare for my appearance on his show, mostly through watching clips on YouTube and looking up the guy on Wikipedia and yes, I know, Wikipedia’s about as reliable as half the guys who sign up for SCW but still! Anyway here’s what I was able to find out, he’s a posh, arrogant British asshole who hates wife-beaters, cheats, drug addicts, benefit cheats and Facebook, yeah, I know the last one doesn’t really fit in with the rest but that’s beside the point!
How this guy managed to get a transatlantic equivalent of his British show here in the states is beyond me.
Anyway me, Charlotte, my mistress, Sophie (not my daughter, the woman claiming that she got me pregnant) Cyrus and Andreas are on first with me going out first, I haven’t really paid attention to the other guests but from what I’ve seen we’re easily the oldest guests here, some look like they’re on some kind of drug but I wouldn’t be able to tell you what drug, not that I care too anyway.
“Good morning and as ever a big, big welcome to my show!” Jeremy greeted the audience as he walked on stage with some cards in his hands as the audience applauded him, Cyrus and Andreas were in the audience as well and they probably towered over everyone else in the show. “Now our first guest tonight, Steve, is here to prove to his wife of seven years that he hasn’t cheated on her or impregnated another woman, he is adamant that nothing happened between him and the women in question and wife wants answers, big day for this guy! Steve is on the Jeremy Kyle Show!”
As soon as Jeremy finished his intro I marched on stage with a forced smile as the crowd applauded me, as I approached Jeremy he stuck one of his hands out for a handshake which I accepted. “Hi Jeremy.”
“Hello.” Jeremy responded before we sat down. “You look like an old rocker, don’t you?” He joked upon noticing my hair, Megadeth T-Shirt and jeans and I just smirked. “Right, let’s get down to the basics, how did you meet Charlotte?”
“Well it wasn’t through Facebook, I’ll tell you that much.” I commented with a smirk getting a laugh out of the audience and Jeremy. “Seriously though, I guess you could say that we met through work, the wrestling company that I worked for at the time was hosting a show in my home city of New York and we met through a mutual friend, we hit it off, she joined me on the road……”
“Wait, wrestling company?!” Jeremy asked with a bemused look on his face. “Are you a professional wrestler?”
“Yeah, I’ve been wrestling since I was nineteen.” I responded with a nod and Jeremy did a double take. “That company’s since folded and shortly afterwards Charlotte announced that she was pregnant with our first daughter so I took a hiatus from wrestling for a few years making the occasional comeback before I was signed to my current employers.”
“Well, at least you work.” Jeremy muttered under his breath which I ignored. “When did the problems start because you told my producers that you were happy for a few years.”
“And it was, I mean things were tough because I had trouble getting steady work and my initial plan to open a wrestling school fell through but until last year things were great!” I responded as I shifted my weight a bit. “The company I work for did a yearlong world tour just last year and during that tour I started taking matters into my own hands.”
“What do you mean?” Jeremy asked and I grinned.
“What I mean is that I’m twenty-eight years old, I know for regular people that is no big deal but wrestling takes a toll on your body and most wrestlers around my age usually plan for retirement at the age of thirty-five minimum.” I responded as I leaned back. “And whilst I have held a few titles during my time as a wrestler I’m not getting any younger and I have yet to hold a world title in any promotion, my time’s running out and I needed to do something drastic, unfortunately Charlotte took exception to that fact and things were tense for a few months until the New Year hit.”
“She told my time that you called a fellow wrestler a midget just because you were taller than him.” Jeremy responded getting a laugh out of the crowd. “Just for reference, how tall are you.”
“6ft, the guy I called a midget is five foot eight which is tiny by male wrestler standards but he’s barely taller than Charlotte.” I responded with a shrug. “Look, long story short, she implied that she wanted a divorce, things were pretty much made official when she walked in on me in bed with two younger women.” I responded before earning a round of boos. “I know how that sounds so just to set the record straight, I was dressed as David Bowie from Labyrinth and they were naked.”
“I don’t know if I want to know why you were dressed up like David Bowie.” Jeremy responded as he buried his face into his hands.
“It was the week he died and I wanted to pay tribute to him at a Karaoke club, costume and all.” I responded getting some more laughs out of the crowd. “Unfortunately my costume was the only thing they appreciated.”
“Gee, I wonder why.” Jeremy said as he tried to hold back laughter. “Let’s try to get some form of normalcy on this show, Charlotte’s your wife, right?” Jeremy asked and I nodded to confirm what he was asking. “Charlotte’s on the Jeremy Kyle show!” Jeremy called out as he got out of the chair he was sitting on and Charlotte walked on stage with a frown on her face before picking up the chair Jeremy was occupying, walking across the stage, setting it down and sitting on it. “Charlotte, welcome to the show, now you’ve been with Steve since he was twenty-one, right?”
“Yeah, and like he said things where great.” Charlotte responded as she folded her arms. “But he conveniently left out the reason why I took exception to his actions last year, you see Jeremy there’s this female wrestler on the roster by the name of Jes…...”
“Don’t say names of people who aren’t here.” Jeremy interrupted her and Charlotte stopped herself.
“Sorry about that, anyone who watches the company he works for will know who I’m talking about anyway.” Charlotte responded before shifting her weight. “As I was saying, he Superkicked a female wrestler’s fiancé, at the time, who, I might add, isn’t a trained wrestler.” Charlotte explained earning more boos for me.
“Funny how you leave off that that action got Steve suspended for the first few months of the world tour!” Cyrus chimed in from the audience and Jeremy turned to him in order to address him but did a double take when he saw how big he and Andreas were. “He basically had to be smuggled into the arena to get the suspension lifted!”
“Who are the tall blokes?” Jeremy asked as he turned to me.
“The dark haired one is Cyrus, the one with the epic beard is Andreas.” I said as I pointed them out to him. “They are my bodyguards.”
“Okay then, would you two like to come on stage so that the people behind you can see what’s happening?” Jeremy offered and they shrugged before joining us on stage and some stage hands got them some chairs. “Right, so, what’s your take on this Cyrus?”
“My take? Things were great for the first few months of the tour but when that Superkick happened Charlotte chewed him out before returning to their home in Vegas where she stayed for the rest of the tour.” Cyrus responded after he and Andreas sat down. “All I’m saying is that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I’m not excusing Steve’s actions but Charlotte’s not exactly innocent here, she didn’t even listen to his side of the story.”
“When did I not listen to his side of the story?” Charlotte asked as she leaned forward. “I was supportive of him but even I have my limits!”
“I’m not saying you don’t but Steve’s frustration with his place in the company means that it was only a matter of time before he snapped, Charlotte didn’t realize this because she’s an outsider to the wrestling business.” Cyrus responded and Charlotte rolled her eyes. “But that’s beside the point, even if Steve didn’t snap long distance relationships don’t work and, I know I’m not helping Steve’s case, but the women in the wrestling company he works for are all hot babes and younger than Charlotte, quite frankly I’m surprised Steve hasn’t cheated on her until know.”
“Gee, thanks for all the help Cyrus.” I responded through gritted teeth. “Even with that in mind, a majority of the women on the roster are already taken! Hell there’s at least one lesbian couple on the roster that I know off and I’m pretty sure that they aren’t bi so even if they were single I’d have a better chance at you not annoying me!” I responded as I motioned to Jeremy.
“Right, I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that!” Jeremy responded as he shook his head. “Back on topic, who’s Sophie?”
“That depends because that’s my daughter’s name.” I responded and Jeremy sighed in annoyance.
“Last I checked there’s no one who’s six years’ old backstage.” Jeremy responded and I nodded in response.
“Sophie’s one of the women I spent a night with back in January.” I responded and Charlotte frowned. “And despite everything I tell her Charlotte still isn’t convinced that nothing happened between us!”
“Okay, Sophie is on the Jeremy Kyle show!” Jeremy called and the pregnant woman came out, Charlotte quickly got in her face and security stepped in to prevent a fight breaking out. “Sophie, welcome to the show, now you claim that Steve got you pregnant.”
“How could I have gotten her pregnant when I prematurely ejaculated before Sophie and the other girl could get my clothes off?!” I asked before quickly covering my mouth upon realizing what I had just said. “Any chance you could edit that part out?”
“It’s live Steve so no.” Jeremy responded before turning to Sophie. “Is there a point to you being out here now that that’s out of the bag?”
“Err, not really……” Sophie responded sheepishly before leaving the set, Jeremy sighed to himself before being handed a card.
“Let’s get the lie detector results done before this drags on any more.” Jeremy said before reading the card. “Note from the lie detector expert, Steve admitted to sleeping with at least three different women when the relationship began.”
“I know about those.” Charlotte responded with a nod. “We had an open relationship when we began dating but we stopped that after I got pregnant.” Charlotte added and I nodded to confirm it.
“Okay so they changed the question, Steve since the beginning of the relationship with Charlotte, aside from the three times you’ve admitted too, have you had any sexual contact with anyone else, which is anything from a kiss to intercourse, you said no.” Jeremy said as he turned to me. “Why did you say no?”
“Because I was telling the truth.” I said confidently as Jeremy stepped forward.
“This test says you’re a liar.” Jeremy responded and Charlotte glared at me. “In fact, I’ll save you some time, he failed every question on the test!”
“It’s over Steve, you had better start house hunting soon!” Charlotte said before standing up and storming off towards the backstage area, I stood up and followed her backstage with Jeremy, Cyrus and Andreas following us. “How could you do that to me Steve? We have two kids!”
“What can I say? Actually being around beautiful women for most of the day raised my standards!” I snapped at her and Charlotte stormed off. “I don’t need you! Any woman would want me!”
“You’re nearly thirty and you believe that?” Jeremy asked and I nodded without hesitation. “Here’s a reality check Steve, when this gets out no one will touch you with a barge pole!”
“Yeah because I trust the opinion of an annoying twat like you!” I snapped at him before storming off ignoring the other staff members and heading towards my car with Cyrus and Andreas behind me. “I suppose I’d better wait for the divorce papers now, I knew this was a mistake.”
“It can’t get any worse Steve, let’s head back.” Cyrus responded as we got into the car. “Well, if nothing else you can take out your frustrations in this promo.”
“You know what? I will!” I responded as the cameraman from SCW hopped in and Cyrus started driving us home, it was going to take a few hours but we had plenty of fuel in the car so I got started on my promo!
“Encase you haven’t noticed, I haven’t had a great couple of weeks, I failed to take back my title, Casey Williams is currently fighting in a spot I should be fighting in as he is challenging for the SCW Roulette Title and my wife just divorced me on TV! But what am I doing this week on Climax Control? I’m taking on the returning “King of Kings” Kain in singles action but that doesn’t matter, what matters is the fact that I’m going to kick the king’s ass right off the throne and move on to better competition!”
There, I said it.
“Funny how you chose now to return to action Kain after missing out on nearly the entire World Tour and Japanese tours but that’s beside the point, you obviously haven’t wrestled in a long time whilst I have been stealing the show every single night win or lose! This match will be no different to all of my other recent matches with one notable exception, I’m walking out the winner of this match and I will end my recent losing streak!”
I said as shifted my weight.
“Don’t know if you’ve noticed this Kain but a lot has changed since you took your little vacation but the most important change is that there’s nothing I won’t do on the way to the top of the mountain! It’s like the AC/DC song says, it’s a long way to the top if you want championship gold and I’ve already held gold this year, however whilst my Roulette Title reign was far too short I aim to rectify that by moving up in the ranks and my sights are firmly set on the Internet Champion!”
You heard me!
“That’s right, I want a shot at Rage and you’re the only one in my path to that gold! You may have attacked Rage at the end of his title match at Into the Void but as long as I have my sights set on the Internet Championship that’ll be the closest you’ll ever get to holding the SCW Internet Championship because that gold practically has my name written all over it! Just face the facts Kain, the wrestling world has passed you by! It’s time to retire Kain, whether you like it or not!”
And with that I decided to wrap things up.
“And hell, even if you don’t want to retire I could always force you to change your plans! Right now I’m a man on a mission and that mission is championship gold following the title reign that I was robbed off during the Japanese tour, you may not like what I’m saying Kain but I’m just speaking the truth and that’s that! This message has been paid for and delivered by the “Fearless Champ” Steve Ramone, the champion the fans deserve and I will make SCW great again!”
The car drove off as the scene fades.
