2016 was coming to an end in just a couple of days and for many they were happy to see the year end what with all the celebrity deaths, political turmoil and other stuff that had happened over the past year or so, however as far as the wrestling career of Steve Ramone was concerned 2016 was his best year yet as he was finally able to win singles gold for the first time since the GWA closed seven years ago,
Whilst we would later lose the title on his second defense he would later reclaim it at High Stakes VI and since then he’s been very protective off the title, however the bosses want to see him as a fighting champion and they didn’t have to look far to find an eager challenger in the form of Ryan Keys who came within an inch of winning the title from James Tuscini only for Steve to screw him over by proposing the Kaylee, the week before the Christmas Special Ryan managed to get a win in singles competition over Steve and now, on the last Climax Control of the year the two men would clash in the Main Event with the Roulette Title on the line but can Steve win?
Set of a Christmas themed porno, Las Vegas, Nevada
Thursday the 29th of December 2016, 18:00pm
The sooner this god damned year can be over and done with, the better.
Oh sure, this year has been my best in SCW yet even if it started with me being paired with Alexis Edwards in the Blast from the Past Tournament, after all I won the Roulette Title twice and came within a hair of taking the Internet Championship from Rage only to have that ruined the moment Kain was added to the match but between the Electoral College flushing this country down the shitter with the election of Trump and all the celebrity deaths I’m just ready for this year to over with!
And wouldn’t you know it? My first opponent of 2017 is Ryan Keys and to make matters worse he’s challenging for the Roulette Title, not since the OJ Simpson Trial has there been such a massive miscarriage of justice!
I’ll go into more detail about Ryan later but first I think I know what’s on your mind, I’m at the set of another porno? And why are they filming a porno based on Christmas just after Christmas? Well, in order: 1: yes, 2: filming started just before the holiday season but there were minor delays due to Kaylee being on the road with me and SCW and besides, the film, titled “Mrs. Clause’s Naughty List”, is set for release next holiday season.
So no, the holiday rush doesn’t apply to anything other than video games and toys!
“Just when I thought I saw it all.” Cyrus commented as he shook his head, like last time Kaylee was off filming a scene though this time it was a solo scene in Santa’s Sleigh, yeah. “Then I see a woman pleasuring herself with a candy cane vibrator in Santa’s Sleigh, I’m seriously tempted to just tell my daughter that Santa isn’t real once she’s old enough to understand Christmas.”
“Oh, come on, it’s not that bad!” I protested as the scene continued. “And yeah, we’ve seen other Christmas Themed Sex Toys in action.”
“And we haven’t even gotten to the candy cane butt plug. I can’t believe I just said the words “candy cane” and “butt plug” in the same sentence.” Andreas commented as he read through the script that Kaylee had left on her chair, it was then that he noticed the odd looks he was getting from us. “You haven’t read that far into the script?”
“I haven’t read the script full stop, mostly because I’m not a performer.” Cyrus pointed out as Kaylee finished her scene. “Also, two things: one, this movie has officially ruined candy canes for me, two, I’m not even going into the health risks of getting naked when it’s snowing.”
“Really? This film is set in a world where Christmas Themed Sex Toys are a thing but your latching onto Hypothermia caused by sex as the most unrealistic thing in this film?” I asked with an amused look on my face and before you ask, no it’s not being filmed on location, rather at a sound stage, any scene that marked as “outside” is being done in front of a green screen and props but the indoor scenes are taking place in a Santa’s Workshop that the director had built for the film alongside the props and the sex toys, no prizes for guessing where most of the budget went. “And besides, complaining about the lack of realism in a porno is like complaining about getting vegetables in a salad!”
“Yeah, I know, porn isn’t exactly known for realistic plots, or any plot for that matter.” Cyrus responded as he shook his head. “But still!”
“Is he still complaining about the plot?” Kaylee asked as she walked over having just gotten dressed into the outfit she was wearing for the films non-sex scenes which was an even more revealing version of the outfit she wore for the Christmas Special and the show before it. “How many times do I have to say this? A realistic porno is a boring porno.”
“Yeah and I never thought I’d hear the words “boring porno” in my life.” I nodded in agreement as Andreas passed Kaylee her script. “But even so, Christmas Themed Sex Toys?”
“What can I say? The director went a little overboard with the concept of “Mrs. Clause and her harem of horny men and women make sex toys for all the naughty couples”.” Kaylee responded with a slight laugh before checking her script. “Okay, my next scene is a lesbian one but there’s a couple of scenes before that and both of threesomes, one features a guy and two of the other girls, other features three of the girls, after my scene there’s just the orgy to go.”
“I still can’t get over how casual you are about these sex scenes.” Cyrus commented as he shook his head. “Or sex in general.”
“It’s like I said before, in this profession sex is just another part of your work hours.” Kaylee shrugged her shoulders, the scenes continued until we reached the first of the two threesome scenes, just before it started Kaylee turned to me. “Okay, things are about to get a bit noisy in here and I know that you have a promo to do, luckily I asked the director to secure a room for you.”
“Thanks Kaylee, at least this time I won’t have to miss your next sex scene.” I responded before standing up and, after a production assistant pointed me in the right direction, I went off towards the room that would’ve gone unused otherwise and I entered it just as the scene began, though once I closed the door I realized that the noises from the scene (you know the ones) couldn’t be heard from the room which made it perfect for my promo.
“The new year is upon us and compared to how I ended 2015 this year hasn’t been too bad, setting aside all the non-wrestling shit that’s happened this year.” I said as I hoisted the Roulette Championship over my shoulder. “The fact that I have a 50/50 chance of going into the New Year as a two time and current Roulette Champion just drives that point home! However, to start the New Year, the right way I have to make sure that history doesn’t repeat itself twice as I face Ryan Keys in the first Main Event of Climax Control in 2017 with the Roulette Title on the line!”
I said with a grin.
“Beat me once, shame on you for getting lucky, beat me twice, shame on me for failing for your tactics for the second time, beat me three times? Excuse me a minute.” I said before laughing hysterically for a good few minutes. “Normally I’d say lightning doesn’t strike twice but as I’ve already pointed out that’s not the case with this match! Ryan, you may have gotten lucky twice against me but now that my Roulette Championship is on the line and Tommy Knocks isn’t around to make his idiotic predictions I am that much more fired up to beat you, retain the Roulette Title and have a live sex celebration with Kaylee as Climax Control goes off the air!”
Okay, maybe not that last part.
“New Year means New Year’s Resolutions but as far as I’m concerned Ryan your New Year’s Resolution should be to survive this match! Now as we both know we won’t find out what the stipulation is until after Ms. Rocky Mountains gives the Roulette Wheel a spin but no matter what the wheel stops on I’m going to destroy you in that ring in pretty much the same way that I destroy Kaylee’s sweet, sweet ass whenever I have sex with her!”
And then I realized what I just said.
“AND JUST TO CLARIFY, I AM NOT IMPLYING THAT I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH RYAN KEYS! I mean for fuck’s sake, I have nothing against gays but I’m as straight as a straight man can be! As I was saying, this match will be the shortest Roulette Title Match and Main Event in SCW History, the only way it could possibly be any shorter is if me and my bodyguards attacked you before the match began and hit you with all our finishers before the bell rang but considering how pissed off the fans would be if I did that and I don’t want to get on the bosses bad sides I won’t be doing that, what I will do is demonstrate just how unworthy you are of challenging me!”
It's that simple.
“What’s that? I screwed you out of winning the title from James Tuscini? Boo hoo, go whine about it on Twitter! You have three victories over me? Congratulations, have a four-leaf clover because with the amount of luck you have you might win the state lottery and retire from wrestling for good! It would make my job easier but at the end of the day we both know that there’s only one way this match is going to end, with me pinning your shoulders to the matt for the three count and securing not only my first win of 2017 but also my first Roulette Title defense.”
And with that I decided to wrap things up.
“The truth is Ryan, you’re not worthy to shine my fiancé’s dildos, let alone challenge me for the Roulette Title and I will demonstrate this fact at the first Climax Control of 2017 where I kick your ass to the curb and prove to the world that your previous victories over me where all flukes! Not only that but I’ll also prove that the only reason you had a shot against me in the first place was because Christian has a crush on you! This message has been paid for and delivered by “The Fearless One” Steve Ramone, the Roulette Champion the fans deserve!”
I left the room as the scene fades.
