Both Steve and Jessie are out of the first round of this year’s Blast from the Past Tournament and both had their partners to blame, whilst Steve was abandoned by Delia mid-match Andrew just couldn’t cut it against the much bigger Dark Tiger and that cost him and Jessie their spot in the tournament.
However the NXT members weren’t done, this week SCW was holding its first ever show in Wales and Steve and Jessie were teaming up to take on the hometown heroes of Simon Jones and Natalie McKinley in a non-tournament mixed tag team match, Simon and Natalie were obviously hoping to put on a good showing for their friends and family but Steve and Jessie had bruised egos over how their participation in the Blast from the Past Tournament ended but can they win?
A small café, Cardiff, Wales
Friday the 6th of February 2015, 11:00am
We finally get partners that we can get along with…..and it’s after both of our teams were eliminated from the Blast from the Past Tournament within a week of each other, if that’s not fucking typical of my luck when it comes to this fucking tournament then I’m joining the Mean Girls!
Going into our matches we knew that we couldn’t trust our partners, Delia may have held the Bombshell Title for way to fucking long but the fact that she chose to abandon Steve rather than get invested in their match proved how pathetic she is and that her days are numbered, as for me, where do I even start?
I knew Garcia and I couldn’t get along for the reasons I listed in my last promo but I at least expected a little fucking effort from that idiot, as if that wasn’t bad enough the Mean Girls are getting the first shot at the new Bombshell Tag Team Champions The Fallen as opposed to the team they beat for the titles and what match do I get instead?
A mixed tag team match against a retiree and a Bombshell who flopped during her first run, joy.
Let me make one thing clear, neither I nor Steve have anything against Simon or Natalie but I can think of one other match that I’d rather compete in this week rather than an exhibition match that the bosses only booked because Simon and Natalie happened to be in the area.
And before you try saying that Veronica and Amanda worked hard for their shot, first off I’m going to laugh my ass off at you because the Mean Girls’ idea of hard work is deciding which make-up to put on before going to the show and the only reason that they have this title shot to begin with is because they managed to have a three-way with Hot Stuff that didn’t result in them laughing at his tiny dick.
And considering that my fiancé has a tiny dick that should tell you something.
“So, how are we going to do this?” Steve asked as he took a sip from his drink, we would’ve done our promos separately but time flew away from us so we decided last night to just combine our promos and leave it at that. “I know we came up with this idea at the last minute but we still don’t know how we’re going to do this.”
“Luckily for you I came up with a solution earlier, hence why I called this meeting so early.” I responded as I took a sip from my drink. “You know how in the five minutes we spent in the Blast from the Past Tournament we addressed our opponents separately?”
“Isn’t that our usual strategy when it comes to tag matches?” Steve asked and I shook my head.
“Maybe but this is different, for one thing we’ll be doing it at the same time.” I responded earning an odd look from Steve and our companions namely Jake and Shane.
“You’re going to talk over yourselves? Wouldn’t that just make things confusing for anyone watching?” Shane asked and I shook my head.
“Come on, when have I ever made a decision as stupid as that?” I asked and the three men shared a look.
“Do you really want me to answer that?” Shane asked and I rolled my eyes.
“Do you want to spend the rest of the year sleeping on the couch?” I asked and Shane shut up. “And as for Bloodstock, don’t worry, I’ll just cockblock you for the whole weekend if you answer my question.”
“That’s pretty brutal.” Jake responded with a wince. “Not as brutal as that seventeen year old in South Africa who poured battery acid onto her twenty-five year old boyfriend’s dick but still.”
“Okay, before we continue, please tell me that didn’t actually happen?” Steve interjected and Jake shook his head. “There are certain words that should never go together, dick and battery acid are three of those words.”
“If it helps the guy was kind of a scumbag.” Jake responded and we shook our heads, scumbag or not no one deserves something like that even if the fact that he was the twenty-five year old boyfriend of a seventeen year old girl tipped me off to that fact. “Let’s get back on topic before I give the rest of the male members of the SCW Universe nightmares.”
“Too late.” We all responded simultaneously and Jake rolled his eyes.
“I knew that answer was coming.” Jake commented before sighing. “So what is your plan Jessie?”
“My plan’s simple, I address Natalie, Steve addresses Simon and we do our sign offs separately.” I responded and Steve thought for a moment before nodding.
“Good idea, we both get our words in and we both get to sign off the promo.” Steve nodded in agreement as he shifted his weight. “And knowing you Jessie you probably have a few words for the fact that the Mean Girls somehow have a shot at the Fallen before the Metal and Punk Connection.”
“More than a few words, that said I’m going to try to keep it short and sweet, much like how the title match should be, in order to focus more on our actual match.” I responded and Steve nodded, a few minutes passed and after we paid for our drinks we headed outside, Shane and Jake headed to our rental car whilst me and Steve went around the back to conduct our promo away from prying eyes.
“We realize that this isn’t exactly normal procedure for an SCW Tag Team Match, however because me and Jessie are both masters of procrastinating we decided to combine our promos into one and save ourselves the time! We will get to Simon and Natalie in just a second but first Jessie has some words about this week’s opener.”
I nodded before stepping forward.
“The Fallen defeated the Metal and Punk Connection for the Bombshell Tag Titles at Inception so by all logic the first defence should go to the former champs right? Apparently not because Veronica and Amanda must’ve let Hot Stuff bang them with his tiny dick to jump up in line, hell I’m willing to bet that the only reason they have a shot so soon is because they didn’t laugh at Hot Stuff’s dick! I’ll be watching that farce of a tag team title defence closely as I prepare for my tag team match but no matter who wins the Metal and Punk Connection will be on the hunt for the next defence!”
And hopefully it’ll be The Fallen.
“Now that that’s out of my system I can address the woman who I’m actually facing this week Natalie McKinley! So let me get this straight, your first run in SCW flopped and yet you’re back for round two? I know from personal experience that REAL female wrestlers don’t know when to quit unlike the Mean Girls who lose members every other week but even I find this a bit odd, regardless Nat I look forward to facing you and beating you, floor’s all yours Steve!”
I nodded to Steve and he stepped forward.
“I’m not going to rant for a couple of minutes about someone getting a title shot ahead of me, mostly because I want to get to the point, Simon I realize that this is a one off appearance but come on? Are you going to wrestle a match every time SCW is in England for a show? If that’s the case why not just return full time, that’s all I’m saying! That said I’m not so much focussed on the match but rather just winning it and moving on and trust me, by the end of the night they’ll be searching for your head in the cheapseats!”
I stepped forward as we got ready to wrap things up.
“Natalie, my participation in this year’s Blast from the Past Tournament was a disaster, let’s be honest! However right now I’m focused on bouncing back from my recent losses and my bounce back starts with this match! This is SCW’s Heavy Metal Bombshell Jessie Salco passing it over to Steve…..”
“Thanks Jessie! Simon, this may be your one off return and you may hope that it ends in success but nothing ever goes as planned in the wrestling business, just look at my track record in Blast from the Past! Just remember that there’s nothing to fear but fear itself and no one to fear but “The Fearless One” Steve Ramone and the Heavy Metal Bombshell Jessie Salco!”
We walked off as the scene fades.
