ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP HERE I COME
Narrator: Here we are again with Bea Barnhart in a Roulette Championship Qualifier match to earn a spot in the Roulette Championship Ultimate X Over The Pool Match at Summer XXXTtreme IX. Bea is no stranger to Roulette Rules matches and she previously had a shot at the Roulette Championship but came up short on that evening so she wants to win this match, face the others in the Ultimate X Over The Pool Match at Summer XXXTreme IX, and redeem herself. That’s all I want to say to lead into Bea’s comments on her match at Climax Control 303. I now turn you over to Bea for her to give you the information you are anxious to hear.
When the scene switches we see Bea Barnhart relaxing in their hotel room. Bill and their English Bulldog Iris are walking around but trying to stay out of camera view as best they can. Bea is sitting at the dining table facing the camera. Bea is dressed in her trademark wrestling attire and she definitely looks ready to kick ass at Climax Control 303. When the camera person informs Bea they are live broadcasting Bea begins her presentation.
Bea: Hi and welcome to another edition of you all shut the hell up and listen to me talk. I’m here to present reasons why I’m walking away from this match to challenge for the Roulette Championship at Summer XXXTreme IX in an Ultimate X Over The Pool match. The first thing I wish to get out of the way is that I’m no stranger to Roulette Rules matches and that I’ve come a long way since a year ago and it will show in my performance at this Sunday.
Bea takes a break to sip some water before continuing.
Bea: My first Roulette Rules match was on February 16, 2020, at My Bloody Valentine III. I soundly defeated Violet Amelia Holt in a Fans Bring The Weapons match to earn the Number One Contender spot for the Bombshell Roulette Championship. My second Roulette Rules match was on April 12, 2020, at Blaze of Glory VIII was a Ladder Match for the Roulette Championship and I came up a little short that evening and didn’t earn the Roulette Championship. My third Roulette Rules match was on September 13, 2020, at Climax Control 280. It was a Triple Threat for a chance to face Seleana Zdunich at Violent Conduct VI for the Roulette Championship. I lost that match but I gave a hell of a fight.
Bea breaks again to drink more water then she continues.
Bea: I imagine the majority of you watching are screaming at your television sets but I’m unable to hear what you’re saying so you waste your energy. You know what I mean. Wasting energy like Candy and Char Kwan will be wasting their energy trying to defeat me in our match. I imagine you’re asking how I’m so confident and feel I’m qualified to challenge for the Roulette Championship when I’m 1-2 in Roulette Rules matches and 0-1 in Roulette Championship matches. That’s a good question and I have a good answer. Back during the times of those matches I was new to the sport of wrestling as it pertains to being a wrestler inside the ring instead of being the Manager in Bill’s corner. To come away with one win in three matches AND to have earned a shot at the Roulette Champion tells you a lot of what I was able to accomplish as a rookie in the sport of wrestling. Now that I’ve been in the ring as a wrestler for seventeen months my experience and abilities continue to grow. Taking out Char Kwan and Candy will be easier than those of you watching are willing to give me credit for being able to accomplish. Promise me that you will not blink your eyes during my match because I’ll defeat Char and Candy so quickly you might miss my win when you blink.
MY OPPONENTS
Bea: My two opponents in this Roulette Championship Qualifier match are Candy and Char Kwan. I mentioned that I lost the Roulette Championship match against Candy a long time ago. I look at it that if Candy was such a Great Roulette Champion she would still be Roulette Champion but she’s not. Seeing that she lost the Roulette Championship shows she’s vulnerable and even more so going up against me now that I’m seasoned and more than ready and determined to whup ass. As for Char Kwan I have no history with her but I know enough about her to know she is way down on the talent ladder, in the basement if you will, and she’ll not be any more annoying than a fly that hovers over a pile of shit. I’ll swat Char out of the way and zap her like I’m a bug zapper. This match literally comes down to me and Candy and I’m walking away with my shot at the Roulette Championship at Summer XXXTreme IX.
ELEMENTS
Bea: Candy. . .Char. . .you’re probably aware of the Periodic Table that lists all the Elements by their names and Atomic numbers. Well I guess you might be aware of it but I’m not sure either of you were able to take in major concepts like that during your school years as you two continue to prove you are mentally deficient and are unable to comprehend even the simplest things. If you two do happen to know what the Periodic Table is then you know that the Atomic Numbers of all the elements listed runs from 1 which is Hydrogen and it goes up from there. Oh man I’m sorry I have to use such big complicated words and concepts that confuse the two of you but that’s honestly how the Periodic Table is set up. I’m sure both of your heads are hurting from trying to grasp simple concepts but if you think I give a shit that your heads hurt you’re wrong. Rest assured after I beat both of you down in our match your heads will hurt for a long time after the match is over.
Bea holds up a copy of the Periodic Table for the camera to get a shot of.
Bea: I want you two to know that I’m having this Periodic Table modified to include a new entry that depicts you two perfectly. The Atomic Number of the new element will be 0 or if you are having a hard time comprehending numbers it would be Z. . .E. . .R. . .O because you two are ZERO compared to me. The name of the new Element reflects you two by being called MORONIUM letting everyone know you two are morons. Yes you two can rest assured that for added impact your faces will be placed on the new entry so everyone can see what you two MORONIUMS look like.
Bea lets out a very loud laugh that causes Bill and Iris to stop what they are doing and they look over at her. When they realize she’s laughing at comments she made to Candy and Char, and that they might be in the range of the camera, they return to what they were doing.
TO INFINITY AND BEYOND
Bea: My friend is a Math teacher at Sweetwater Middle School in Lawrenceville, Georgia. She complains about Disney for having Buzz Lightyear having his signature statement as TO INFINITY AND BEYOND! Why? She asks HOW COULD DISNEY COME UP WITH A LAME SIGNATURE STATEMENT AS THAT FOR BUZZ LIGHTYEAR? INFINITY IS FOREVER THEREFORE YOU CANNOT MAKE STATEMENT LIKE TO INFINITY AND BEYOND AS THERE’S NOTHING BEYOND INFINITY! Well that damn sure makes sense unless you are morons like Candy and Char. When I defeat you two to earn my shot at the Bombshell Roulette Championship at Summer XXXTreme IX you’ll watch me soar off into glory when I win the Bombshell Roulette Championship and successfully defend it for a very long time. Now, come on Char, come on Candy, both of you claim you are infinite and will destroy everyone in your way but you have failed constantly and you will fail again at Climax Control 303.
Bea snarls into the camera.
SLOW PROGRESS IS BETTER THAN NO PROGRESS
Bea: I’ve had to listen to seventeen months of the rest of the roster making fun of me as I haven’t made as much progress as others on the roster have done. But I have a saying for what I’m accomplishing. That saying is SLOW PROGRESS IS BETTER THAN NO PROGRESS and I’m fully satisfied that I continue to make progress, move ahead, and have Management assign me to Championship matches or Championship Qualifier matches. Maybe two morons like you can’t see my progress but Management does and since Management pays my salary I’ll listen to them instead of listening to you two idiots. There have been many in Sin City Wrestling who came into the Federation and immediately won a few matches then failed after that. In my case, since I was a green rookie, I lost a few matches then quickly won a Roulette Championship Qualifier match. So what do you feel is a better thing to have? To win several matches early in your careers then crash and burn after the initial success or to slowly win matches and then you start getting sent into matches to challenge for Championships? Slow and steady is the key and slow progress is better than no progress.
Bea smiles into the camera.
YOU GET WHAT YOU EARN
Bea: Before I close my comments concerning my match I wish to tell you about our neighbors in Lawrenceville, Georgia, Andrew and Rebecca. What I have to tell you concerns Rebecca who is an IT Tech for more than twenty years. When they moved to Georgia in 2012 she had several jobs that sucked to put it nicely. They didn’t pay well and they treated her like crap. Then she got a job at a Medical Testing company that franchises locations across the United States. She has been there since January 2014 so she is now five months into her seventh year. They rarely gave her good pay increases and never gave great performance evaluations even though she is one of their best employees. But Rebecca plugged along, accepting slow progress from her employers over no progress at all, and today she called me with great news on how her performance, qualifications, and skills, earned her something she wasn’t expecting. Rebecca said several weeks ago she started working with an Executive Recruiting firm and the woman she worked with, Natalie, put her name in for an Implementation Manager at one of the largest and most successful companies in the United States and all around the world. It is a work from home position and after several interviews, then a final interview with three Executives from the company she would be working for, Natalie called her and said the company she interviewed for is offering her $52 per hour for $110,000 per year. Wow! At her current company, after seven years working there she is currently at $58,000 so that means the new company is offering her nearly double what her current job is paying her after working for them for seven years. Do you see how the concept of slow progress is better than no progress works? Rebecca kept at her work, as she is the best IT person they have, and finally she got a fantastic job offer for close to double her current salary. Why did I tell you this story? Because you all treat me like I don’t deserve anything and yet I prove consistently that I earn what I get. That’s why I got this Triple Threat match to earn my way into the Roulette Championship match at Summer XXXTreme IX. Slow progress is better than no progress. I understand that concept. Vinnie understands that concept. Iris understands that concept. And most of the fans understand that concept. But I cannot expect Miss Dumb and Miss Dumber, my two opponents, to understand that concept. When I defeat you two, and you two get to stay at home and watch Summer XXXTreme IX instead of being assigned to a match for that event, or worse yet they get assigned to a low card match at Summer XXXTreme IX just to fill space, they’ll finally get it.
Bea points to herself while starting her closing comments.
Bea: Char you should not be in this match and you’ll not fare well. Candy you will fare better than Char will but you’ll still be defeated by me. Say what you want. Hurl all the slurs and insults my direction if you want. Brag about yourselves if you want. I’ve had my say and I’ll back up what I’ve said. See you two at Climax Control 303.
Bea informs the camera person she’s done with her comments and they call into the Network to let them know they are cutting their camera feed. The camera person is so quick on cutting the camera feed the screen goes dark and it takes the Network nearly a minute to get regular programming broadcasting again.
