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101
Climax Control Archives / TIME TO SHINE
« on: September 10, 2020, 11:59:46 AM »
TIME TO SHINE

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart has captured the attention of Sin City Wrestling Management, and wrestlers on the Roster, as she’s been getting assigned to matches recently that have the reward of earning a shot at a Championship with a win. It is the same for Climax Control 280 where Bea faces off in a Triple Threat match against Mercedes Vargas and Johanna Krieger with the winner facing Seleana Zdunich at Violent Control VI for the Roulette Championship.

The scene switches to the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. This incident took place before the Corona virus thing. We are not sure of the exact time this took place but it was in early 2020. We see Bill and Bea in the garage where Bea is installing shelving and she needs to find where the studs in the walls are located so she can attach the shelving to the walls where they are secure and will not come loose. Bill is standing next to Bea watching her and it is apparent that although he is great in the sport of wrestling and other sports he doesn’t seem comfortable around home improvement type work.

BILL IS HANDY IN THE WRESTLING RING BUT NOT IN HOME IMPROVEMENT PROJECTS

Bea:  Bill I need you to help me. It is hard enough trying to locate the studs in the walls but once I find the center of the studs I have to mark the location with a pen on the wall. All I’m asking you to do is hold the pen and make a mark on the wall where I tell you to put the mark. Not like I’m asking you to pick up a hammer, screwdriver, or other tools.

Bill:  Okay I can do that but don’t try to sneak it into the routine that I have to hammer nails, screw things in, or other construction type work.

Bea presses the button on the stud finder and she moves it slowly from left to right. She gets a beep tone meaning she is approaching a stud in the wall. She slowly moves the stud finder until it shows she has found the center of the stud where the graphic indicates she has found the center of the stud and the beep tone is very loud also indicating the center of the stud. She goes past that point then back over it again to be sure she has found the center of the stud. She stops moving the stud finder and points to the wall where she wants Bill to use the pen to mark that spot. Bill does as Bea instructs and he places a dot of ink in that spot. Bea continues this numerous times until all the studs in that wall have been located and marked where they are located. Bill has a confused look on his face.

Bill:  I know the device you are using is simple for you to understand but I’ve never been a person to do maintenance or construction work. I want to know how that stud finder thing can find a wood board in the wall. I understand if it was detecting a metal object, or an electrical current, but how can it find a wooden stud inside of a wall?

Bea:  It is simple to understand Bill. The stud finder device uses changes in capacitance to sense where the stud is. When the plate inside the stud finder is over wall board that has nothing behind the wall board, it will sense one dielectric constant. But when it is over a stud the dielectric constant is different. It works on a capacitance differential generated by density difference. The circuit in the stud finder can sense the change and reports it on its display. Wasn’t that simple to understand?

Bill:  Uh, no, I didn’t understand a word of it. You might have well been speaking a language I don’t understand. I’ll trust what you said is true as you did find all the studs in the wall. I’m still not sure how it works but I guess it does work as you showed.

Bea:  Yeah these stud finder devices are really good at finding studs.

Bea pushes the button on her stud finder and moves it over and around Bill. The stud finder is beeping like crazy as she moves it over Bill’s body. When she removes the device away from Bill it stops beeping.

Bea:  There you go! I proved the stud finder can find real studs. It just announced that you’re the stud of all studs Bill and you’re mine!

Bill and Bea enjoy a laugh over this and as they are laughing the scene begins to shift to the current day. Once we are on the current day we get a shot of Bea Barnhart relaxing on the couch in their hotel room near the Earl E. Wilson Stadium in Las Vegas, Nevada. We see Bill and Iris moving around in the background but both of them try to remain out of camera view as much as they can as they don’t want to take away from Bea’s presentation.

TIME TO SHINE

Bea:  Thank you for joining me as I present comments leading up to my match at Climax Control 280. At this event I’m in a Triple Threat against Mercedes Vargas and Johanna Krieger with the winner getting a shot at Seleana Zdunich at Violent Conduct VI for the Roulette Championship. Before I launch into comments for the benefit of Mercedes Vargas and Johanna Krieger I’d like to tell you about the Boarding and Daycare facility we take Iris to when we need to give her a break. It is called Camp Bow Bow and they have many locations across the United States. The Camp Bow Wow we take Iris to is located at 585 Old Norcross Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Since the first day we brought Iris to them for a Daycare/Play Date, which runs from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m., they have taken to Iris and they’re all familiar with her and love to have her at their facility. Have you watched the television program named CHEERS? Remember that Norm is so popular that everyone knows him and the moment he walks into the bar everyone yells out NORM!!!! That’s how they treat Iris when we bring her to Camp Bow Wow. The moment she walks through the front door all the employees yell out IRIS!!! and Iris loves the attention. Why did I tell you this side story about Iris going to Camp Bow Wow where everyone knows her name? Because when I defeat Mercedes Vargas and Johanna Krieger everyone will know my name. Then after I defeat Seleana Zdunich at Violent Conduct VI for the Roulette Championship my name will be on everyone’s mind and every time I enter a venue the fans will yell out my name.

Bill and Iris pass behind Bea again and they are seen on camera. Bill apologizes to Bea since there wasn’t room for the two of them to walk behind the cameraman to stay out of camera range.

Bea:  As you already know I faced Mercedes Vargas at Climax Control 277 and she won the match. She didn’t win easily as I took the fight to her. However she was able to turn it on me at the last moment for a pinfall. Both of us were also in a Battle Royal at Climax Control 278. Although Mercedes bragged, as she always does, the fact remains that although I was the second wrestler eliminated from the Battle Royal it was Mercedes who was eliminated quickly after I was. At Climax Control 280 I’ll easily eliminate her. I have not faced Johanna Krieger yet so this will be a first between us.

Bill and Iris again pass behind Bea and they are again seen on camera. Bea asks them to go behind the cameraman next time so they’ll not interrupt her air time. The cameraman moves his camera closer to Bea to give room behind him for Bill and Iris to pass.

Bea:  I know I’m gonna win this Triple Threat and go on to face Seleana Zdunich and I will become Roulette Champion. Mercedes already knows I’m more than a match for her. Not sure what Johanna Krieger is thinking but I don’t give a damn what she thinks. None of us know what the Roulette Wheel will land on but regardless of where it lands I’ll win.

Bea looks up behind the cameraman to see Bill and Iris pass behind the cameraman to stay out of camera view. She smiles that the two took her advice.

Bea:  Most of you know that due to the Corona virus the school district in Gwinnett County, where we live in Lawrenceville, Georgia, has decided to honor the selection from a survey of parents on whether to open this current school year all in-class, half in-class and half virtual learning, or all virtual learning. Since the survey came out 50-50 they have half the students attend school for in-class learning and the other half on virtual learning from home on their computers via Zoom. Oh damn! You’d think the teachers were asked to eat Tide pods while shoving a white-hot fireplace poker up their asses. Their complaint is that if all the students are in the classroom they only have to write the information on the white board or chalk board at the front of the class. They complain that having to also prepare the information in document form to present to those students doing virtual learning is too much of a burden on them as teachers. What the hell? The lowest salary for a teacher in Gwinnett County Public Schools is around $45,000 per year with the highest around $90,000 per year. If you get that amount of money but you cannot multi-task between writing information on a board at the front of the classroom and also present the same information to those doing virtual learning then you are an incompetent teacher. That’s not extra work as it is the same document. At the most you simply scan the document into a graphic of PDF form and send it to your students who are virtual learning with Zoom. It is about as simple as adding a document or photo to an e-mail you are sending. I brought this up about teachers in our school district because they act like most of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling. They whine about their schedule to wrestle. They whine about the type of matches they are assigned to. They whine about having too much to present and they are not able to present what they are asked to present. If you are that damn incompetent then you, like those whining teachers, need to quit the work they do and find some type of job where they can be lazy all day. I’m not lazy, not incompetent, not whining about anything, and I’ll show everyone how to multi-task when I beat the hell out of Mercedes and Johanna and walk away with a shot at the Roulette Champion!

Bea smiles into the camera.

Bea:  Let me give you my impersonation of my opponents when they make their comments on our match. Neither has anything coherent to say so all they can do is mumble and curse. I anticipate their comments going something like the following. I want to *BLEEP* the *BLEEP* out of *BLEEPING* Bea Barnhart because I have nothing *BLEEPING* intelligent to say about her. Yea I guess that’s how their comments might go. But, come on, let’s get into reality here. I don’t need to be like most of the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who have to rant and rave, curse and moan, bitch and complain, cut their foreheads with razor blades, then cry when they lose a match. I don’t need to put on a drama queen act to get noticed as I rely on my great wrestling skills to get noticed. Mercedes and Johanna will find that out quickly.

Bea reaches over to the table and picks up a pair of sunglasses with extremely dark lenses. She puts them on and. . .

Bea:  Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, come one, come all, and bring your darkest pair of sunglasses to wear because I’m gonna give such a brilliant shining wrestling performance that you might go blind from my brilliance if you’re not wearing dark sunglasses!

Bea informs the cameraman she’s done with her presentation and he cuts his camera feed and the screen goes black.


102
Climax Control Archives / Bill Barnhart versus Stephen Callaway
« on: August 26, 2020, 11:32:44 AM »
STOCK

Narrator:  I must say there have been some interesting things taking place in Sin City Wrestling recently. Seems like there are still a lot of people who feel if you don’t think like they do, talk like they do, walk like they do, and think like they do, they refuse to accept you, With that lead-in I will turn you over to Bill Barnhart who will give you all the information you need to know who to take stock in and who you need to toss aside into the trash dump.

Bill is in a broadcast studio in Sam’s Town sitting at a table waiting for his remote interview to start.

Bill:  Thanks for tuning in to listen to my presentation today. I’m doing a remote interview with Anthony Amey who is the Sports Anchor at WSB-TV Channel 2 in Atlanta. Anthony should be live broadcasting on the screen in a moment.

>

The techs in the broadcast studio have a split screen showing with Anthony Amey on one side of the screen and Bill on the other.

Bill:  Good to see you again Anthony! How’s the weather in Atlanta?

Anthony:  Hot and humid and lots of rain.

Bill:  I’m in Las Vegas so heat and humidity is common here. Anthony before we begin the remote interview can I ask you a question?

Anthony:  Sure!

Bill:  What do you call a roving cave man?

Anthony:  I don’t know.

Bill:  A meanderthal.

The two enjoy a hearty laugh over the joke and then they continue with their remote interview.

Anthony:  Bill there’s a huge stir over here concerning the choice of Iris to snub Uga the Bulldog, the mascot for the University of Georgia in Athens, and people want to know why Iris chose Pete the Cactus over Uga.

Bill:  To be honest Anthony I had no idea what was going on. But I kept digging and researching as I had to find the answer. It turns out the University of Georgia often changes out the dog that serves in the position of Uga the Bulldog. It could be due to death or injury of the previous Uga or they just wanted a different dog. Iris found out about this and she didn’t want to date an English Bulldog, about 30 miles from our home, only to have him transferred to another part of the country and she wouldn’t see him again. At least with Pete the Cactus there are no legal hurdles for Iris to see him as there was for her seeing Uga the Bulldog.

Anthony:  I understand you wanted to talk about stocks is that correct?

Bill:  Not just talk about stocks like you invest in with the stock market but the definitions of the word stock to see how they fit my match against Stephen Callaway at Climax Control 278,

Anthony:  Use all the air time you need Bill.

Bill pulls out a sheet of paper and starts reading from it.

Bill:  The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word STOCK as follows. The equipment, materials, or supplies of an establishment. A device for publicly punishing offenders consisting of a wooden frame with holes in which the feet or feet and hands can be locked. The wooden part by which a shoulder arm is held during firing. A liquid in which meat, fish, or vegetables have been simmered that is used as a basis for soup, gravy, or sauce. A dull, stupid, or lifeless person.

Anthony:  How do those definitions of the word stock fit with your match against Stephen Callaway?

Bill:  I have more stock when it comes to my abilities as a wrestler than Stephen Callaway has. Stephen should be placed in a stock to be punished for his arrogant attitude. After I’m done beating down Callaway he’ll wish he was smacked in the face with the stock of a rifle than to have been hit by me. As far as soup stock that’s about all Stephen will be worth doing with when I’m done with him. And, finally, stock as a dull, stupid, lifeless person? Ha ha ha! Look at Stephen Callaway and you can see how well that definition fits.

Anthony:  When we set up this remote interview you said you also wanted to talk about the meanings of BOOK VALUE and MARKET VALUE of stocks of companies. I also make the assumption once you do that you will again state how that relates to your match with Stephen Callaway.

Bill:  You’re right Anthony. BOOK VALUE means the value of a business according to their financial statements. Book value is calculated from the balance sheet, which indicates the difference between a company's total assets and total liabilities. If Company XYZ has total assets of $100 million and total liabilities of $80 million, the book value of the company is $20 million. This means if the company sold off its assets and paid down its liabilities the equity value, or net worth, of the business would be $20 million. As far as MARKET VALUE goes it is the value of a company according to the stock market. Market value is calculated by multiplying a company's shares by its current market price. If Company XYZ has 1 million shares and each share trades for $50, then the company's market value is $50 million. Market value is most often the number analysts, newspapers and investors refer to when they mention the value of the business.

Anthony:  Interesting.

Bill:  For Stephen Callaway it will be enlightening. Most of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling couldn’t figure out the answer to the question what does 2 plus 2 equal so I can’t expect them to understand Book Value and Market Value. However equating it to myself and the other wrestlers in the Federation my Book Value is 10 times higher than the Book Value of most of the other wrestlers and my Market Value is 100 times higher than most of the other wrestlers. What does that mean? Invest in Bill Barnhart and you’ll be rewarded with huge Dividend payments. Watch me at Climax Control 278 as I easily defeat Stephen Callaway.

WHAT IT IS. . .IS

Anthony:  Bill I’ve known you since you moved to the Atlanta Metro area in 2012. I admire your work in the sport of wrestling. We are so close as friends I would say we are like brothers. But, Bill, I have to play Devil’s Advocate here and mention that Stephen Callaway is very successful in the sport of wrestling and he has won a lot of matches and against some top names in the business. Don’t you think you might be over-stepping a bit claiming you will get a easy victory over Stephen Callaway?

Bill:  Okay, Anthony, let me ask you a question. Although Stephen Callaway has been very successful in Sin City Wrestling do you see his name listed as a Champion for any of the Championships in Sin City Wrestling?

Anthony:  Let me call up the Sin City Wrestling Championship history.

There is a short delay as Anthony Amey clicks on the Champions listing for Sin City Wrestling.

Anthony:  Well, Bill, I do not see Stephen Callaway’s name listed as a Champion in any Division. But to be fair about it your name isn’t listed either.

Bill:  You’re correct but that will change when I obtain a Championship while Stephen Callaway will be left scrounging around the city dump looking for something he can wear as a Championship Title Belt.

STYLE VERSUS STYLE

Bill:  Anthony I want Stephen Callaway to know he is at a disadvantage due to his wrestling style. Callaway relies on high flying maneuvers which carry a low success rate and a high failure rate. On the other hand I rely on technical wrestling and brawling with both carrying a high success rate and low failure rate. When Stephen does his high flying maneuvers I’ll swat him down like people do to a fly with a fly swatter. It will be a humiliating defeat for Callaway but I don’t care about his feelings. I ask everyone to watch my match and watch my predictions come true. Thanks for providing air time to hold this remote interview with me Anthony. When we return to Atlanta Metro me and Bea and Iris will drop by WSB-TV Channel 2 studios and we will take you out for lunch.

Anthony:  The pleasure is always mine Bill. Looking forward to your match.

With the remote interview over the techs in the studio cut the feeds and the screen goes black.


103
Climax Control Archives / The Battle Royal to Determine Who Faces World Champion at Violent Conduct
« on: August 26, 2020, 11:27:33 AM »
BATTLE ROYAL TO EARN SHOT AT WORLD CHAMPION AT VIOLENT CONDUCT

Narrator:  Last week Bea gave a great performance against Mercedes Vargas but unfortunately she came up short and Mercedes won the match. This next event Bea has been placed in a Battle Royal with the winner earning a shot at the World Champion at Violent Conduct.

OH GAWD! A KAREN!

We shift to a scene of Bea walking around Sam’s Town. Today she is dressed up more than she usually is with white slacks, black shoes, and a black shirt. As Bea walks down the hallway she gets confronted by a woman. Thinking the woman wants to greet her as she knows she is a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling Bea stops and waits for the woman to approach her. When the woman stops a few feet from her the situation gets strange.

Woman:  You! You Asians! It’s your fault we have the Corona Virus in the United States! Get the hell out of my country!

Bea:  Why do I always end up having to deal with people like you? Since you’re acting like a KAREN I will call you a KAREN.

Woman:  I’m NOT a Karen dammit!

Bea:  You damn sure are a KAREN! Although I’m Asian I’m from the Philippines. I’m also a United States Citizen so I’m not leaving MY country. The Corona Virus came from China. I have nothing to do with China. So you’re yelling at me, accusing me, and threatening me for something my ethnic background has nothing to do with!

Woman:  I don’t have to take that from you!

Bea:  We will see about that. You started it.

Bea pulls out her cell phone and calls Sam’s Town Security. A Security person shows up and asks the woman we are calling KAREN to please get away from Bea and stop harassing her as she has nothing to do with the Corona Virus. The woman decides to move on but as she gets down the hallway she continues yelling insults toward Bea concerning Asians from China bringing the Corona Virus to the United States.

THIS BATTLE ROYAL IS MINE TO WIN

Bea:  *sigh* Why am I a magnet that attracts people like that? Oh well their loss not mine. How many of you remember the comments on my match at Climax Control 277 against Mercedes Vargas? It said the winner of the match would be assigned to a Battle Royal to determine who faces off against the World Champion at Violent Conduct. I admit Mercedes turned my hold I had on her and she got the win but who is also in the Battle Royal? ME!!! Even though I lost the match it appears I impressed Management and they’re giving me a chance to show them how well I can do in a Battle Royal.

Bea smiles into the camera.

Bea:  You know how Battle Royals usually work. You must be tossed over the top rope and both your feet must touch the arena floor for you to be eliminated. In our Battle Royal Management put in place the rule if you get thrown out of the ring over the top rope and any part of your body touches the arena floor you’re eliminated. What that means is this will be a quicker Battle Royal than what you normally see. The last woman standing will face the World Champion at Violent Conduct. I’m going to be the last woman standing. When I go on to defeat the World Champion all you doubters will become believers in me.

Bea takes off down the hallway and this time she makes her way to the area where the ring is set up for Climax Control 278. Bea walks to the ring where she stands in front of it to continue with her comments.

Bea:  This is the ring where our Battle Royal will take place. This is where everyone in the Battle Royal will be eliminated except for me. Now I know what you’re thinking so let me throw your thoughts into the trash where they belong. Yes I’ve had matches against Candy, Maki, Mercedes Vargas, and Andrea Hernandez. I gave all of them a hell of a challenge and they all know they could have easily lost the match to me but they did manage to pull off a victory and I have commented favorably on their ability to do so. But this Battle Royal is different. It is not a one-on-one Singles match. It isn’t decided by a pinfall or submission. It is decided by tossing the others over the top rope where if any part of their body touches the arena floor they are eliminated. The bottom line on our Battle Royal is that I’ll be the last woman standing. I’ll be declared the winner of the Battle Royal. I’ll earn the shot at the World Champion at Violent Conduct. There’s nothing anyone can do to stop me!

Bea pounds her fists on her chest before continuing with her comments.

IT ISN’T HOW MUCH YOU SAY. . .IT IS WHAT YOU SAY

Bea:  People claim I’m a woman, and a wrestler, of few words. They complain that they don’t think I say enough in my presentations when getting ready for matches. On the other side of that when I do spend time with longer comments these same people complain that I’m too wordy and I should cut back on my comments. I damn sure don’t need to spew forth a lot of words to defeat any of you in this match. I’ll defeat you with my wrestling abilities. Since you’re all idiots who don’t know your left hand from your right hand just get your sorry asses back to the gene pool and see if they have any leftover intelligence genes you can borrow so maybe, just maybe, you can boost your IQ one or two points! Sheesh! The wrestlers in this Battle Royal cannot rely on the others in the match to watch their back. Everyone is working for their own benefit and there’s no benefit to helping others eliminate others in the match. I know what I’m doing in this match and when I win you all will go home and realize there’s a new ruler in the house and her name is Bea Barnhart!

DON’T PLAY THE GAMES IF YOU DON’T ENJOY TAKING CHANCES

Bea walks away from the wrestling ring and returns to the hallway where she walks to the Casino where she is to meet up with her husband Bill. When Bea arrives at the Casino she spots Bill playing slot machines but she notices there are no open slot machines next to Bill.

Bea:  Hi Bill. How are you doing on this slot machine?

Bill:  Getting payouts about 50 percent of the time which is better than the average for slot machines.

Bill and Bea hear the man next to Bill grumbling and complaining while playing the slots.

Man:  I’ve been playing this *bleep*ing slot machine for over an hour and haven’t won a damn thing! At $10 per spin that’s a hell of a lot of money!!Oh well I’m down to my last $10 so here goes.

The man spins and comes up empty again. He grumbles then stands up and leaves as he has no money remaining to play the slot machine. Bea takes the seat at the slot machine the man just left. Bea places a bet for $10 and the wheels spin and they land on a combination that pays her $1,000 for her $10 spin. While the lights and bells and buzzers are going off the angry man who left that slot machine a loser comes back and confronts Bea.

Man:  Hey! I just played that slot machine for over an hour and I never won any payout at all. You spin one time and win $1,000? That’s bullshit and you owe me that money as that money is mine!

Bea:  Excuse me? You got up and left this slot machine and I sat down and spun the wheels. I can’t help it if they landed on a combination that paid me $1,000 for a $10 bet. Maybe had you stayed at this machine for one more spin you would have hit the $1,000. Now please get away from me as you’re harassing and threatening me.

The man tries to grab Bea’s money winnings claiming they belong to him. Suddenly the angry man feels his arm being drawn behind his back and an arm around his neck as Bill just put the man into a hold to subdue him.

Bill:  Listen carefully. I’m going to release my hold on you and you need to calmly and quickly move away from me and my wife or you’ll likely get seriously hurt. Do you understand what I’m saying?

The man mumbles that he understands and begs Bill to let him go. When Bill releases the hold the man quickly leaves the Casino.

Bea:  Some people are jerks who feel they are entitled to everything. Just like a lot of wrestlers, including several in my Battle Royal, who feel they have the right to demand shots at Championships instead of earning them. Never once since I started wrestling in Sin City Wrestling have I demanded a shot at a Championship. I previously mentioned that the match comments for my match with Mercedes Vargas at Climax Control 277 stated the winner of our match was likely to be assigned to this upcoming Battle Royal for a shot at the World Champion. That gave the impression that the loser of that match would not be assigned to the Battle Royal. Even though I didn’t win against Mercedes here I am in the Battle Royal for a shot at the World Champion. If that doesn’t scream out to you that I’ve been noticed and appreciated then you are morons.

Bill excuses himself and he tells Bea he needs to check on Iris to make sure she is doing well. Bill walks out of the Casino and Bea plays the slot machine a bit longer but when no payouts come her way she stands up and walks away with her winnings from earlier.  Bea goes out into the hallway again and start walking around again. She passes a restaurant that looks interesting so she goes inside to see what they have available. As she enters the restaurant the camera person cuts their feed and the Network cuts to a commercial break.


104
Climax Control Archives / Next
« on: August 20, 2020, 07:02:28 PM »
NEXT OPPONENT. . .I MEAN VICTIM. . .PLEASE

Narrator:  Climax Control 277 is coming Sunday, August 23, 2020, and Bea Barnhart couldn’t ask for a better match for this event which is facing off against Mercedes Vargas. I turn you over to Bea to let her tell you what is going on.

SOME PEOPLE ARE DAMN STUPID

The scene changes to the Sam’s Town Hotel-Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. We see Bea Barnhart walking around while a cameraman stays focused on her. Bea is dressed in black jeans, white pullover shirt, and white athletic shoes. Since Bill and Iris are not to be seen we assume they remained in their hotel room to allow Bea to get the attention she deserves during this air time. As Bea walks down the hallway toward the Casino she is confronted by someone who is apparently a participant in the Black Lives Matter, or BLM, movement. The person is a White woman and that causes Bea to question her motives. Bea politely moves to the side to pass the person but the person gets directly in front of her, blocking Bea’s way, and starts screaming at her.

BLM Woman:  Black Lives Matter!

Bea:  All lives matter!

BLM Woman:  No! You’re wrong! Only Black lives matter!

Bea:  I’m Asian so my life doesn’t matter?

BLM Woman:  Now you got it!

Bea:  You can’t be serious! You’re White and you are denouncing Whites and telling me my Asian life doesn’t matter? So you are seriously trying to tell me that your life doesn’t matter? Now please get out of my way so I can pass or you’re gonna get it!

Bea moves to the side to walk around the woman. The woman decides to be hostile to Bea and she steps in front of Bea and blocks her way. The next time Bea tries to get around the woman the woman reaches out and grabs onto Bea so Bea reacts by slapping her hands away. The White woman freaks out and calls for someone from Security to stop Bea from kicking her ass. When the Security person comes over the BLM Woman tells Security that Bea assaulted her. The Security person informs the BLM Woman that he saw the entire confrontation and he will testify to Police that she started it and Bea was defending herself from her attacks. When the BLM Woman continues to rant on Bea we can tell Bea wants to verbally, and physically, lay into her and drop her where she stands. Bea speaks to the Security person first.

Bea:  Would you kindly tell this moron who I am.

Security Person:  This woman is Bea Barnhart. She is one of the Superstar wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling. Had you continued your assault on her I assure you Bea would have ripped you a new asshole and likely had broken a few of your bones. My suggestion to you is to take your nonsense off the property of Sam’s Town and do not bring it back in the building. As for you, Bea, you are free to roam Sam’s Town while I take this so-called woman outside.

The Security person escorts the BLM Woman out of Sam’s Town and informs her not to try to enter again or she will be arrested and brought to jail. The scene returns to Bea in Sam’s Town.

Bea:  Some say, like that White BLM Woman, that only Black lives matter. I say all lives matter. I’m an Asian from the Philippines and I don’t appreciate people suggesting that Asian lives don’t matter. Same with my husband Bill as his life matters and he is White. What about Senor Vinnie? I’m sure he’ll tell you Hispanic lives matter. Pete the Cactus will tell you that Cactus lives matter. And our English Bulldog Iris will tell you that Dog lives matter. I’m so glad I’m not a misguided idiot like that woman.

THINK BEFORE YOU ACT

Bea walks the hallways again and when she walks by some windows she notices the pools at the Casino-Resort so she goes out where the pool is located to check it out. She notices there are several diving boards and platforms for people to use to dive into the water at the large pool. Bea turns and looks into the camera.

Bea:  My next match, at Climax Control 277, is against Mercedes Vargas. Mercedes, you’re about to find out that you’re truly washed up in the sport of wrestling. You want to blindly dive into this match not knowing what awaits you. I mean, come on Mercedes, you need to think before you act. You don’t get up on a diving board at a pool and dive into the pool and then when you’re in the air and on your way down you realize the pool is empty of water and you’re about to splatter on the bottom of the pool. You look first to ensure the pool has water in it before you dive in. Also you should always make sure there is toilet paper on the dispenser before you sit down on the toilet to take a crap. You don’t wait until you are done to find out you don’t have toilet paper. But, Mercedes, you’re basing your match with me based on your far distant past when you were actually relevant. You’re not the same wrestler you were back then. Yes you have much success in the sport of wrestling but from what I’ve seen lately you are barely as effective as a stopped clock.

WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

Bea chuckles over that comment then she leaves the pool area and walks down to look inside the Casino. She sees people playing slot machines and other Casino games.

Bea:  Many people think they can be successful and win at gambling in Casinos. There’s a reason nearly all Casinos are super rich. Statistics show that 90 percent of people lose money when gambling at a Casino. Want to know what I’ve observed Mercedes?  Way back when you were successful in the wrestling ring you were making comments that you never lose. Then when you started losing matches you starting saying that, well, maybe you don’t win all the time but you do manage to win more than half the time. Even recently, with your numerous losses, you’ve been bragging that you never lose when in fact you are losing more lately. Even when I see you losing 50 percent of your matches you try to spin it that you are not losing the majority of your matches. Technically you’re not losing the MAJORITY of your matches but you’re losing nearly HALF your matches. And, Dear Ms Vargas, when you step into the ring with me at Climax Control 277, you’ll lose again. You’re like the gamblers who go into Casinos and lose 90 percent of the time. To put it another way it is like a woman who went most of her life with a firm, perky, and sexy body, and now that she’s getting older her boobs sag down to her waist, her butt is damn near hanging down to her knees, and the age lines make her look like a road map. Sorry to have to be the one to tell you stuff like this but you’re beyond your prime and I’m going to place you into retirement.

Bea chuckles then she walks away from the Casino and heads to a lounge area where she sits down on a couch.

Bea:   I’ll wait for my husband Bill to meet me here. Meanwhile I’ll continue to let you know how much you suck Mercedes. I’ll make myself so perfectly clear even the dumbest person watching can easily understand it. This match isn’t just me, who is fairly new to the sport of wrestling, against you who is a veteran of the sport. It doesn’t come down to who has the best moves and holds. I believe nearly all matches start out with both wrestlers fairly even in wrestling abilities. The deciding factor isn’t always a height or weight advantage as we see smaller and lighter wrestler win over larger and heavier wrestler often. Don’t believe me? Go talk with my friend, Senor Vinnie, and ask him if he was defeated for the Internet Championship by a smaller and lighter wrestler. What is really comes down to is motivation. What’s the motivation for our match? It has been suggested the winner of our match will earn a spot in a Number One Challenger Battle Royal that’s coming soon. I want to be in that Battle Royal so when I kick everyone ass and emerge the winner, with the Number One Contendership in my possession, everyone will stop taking me lightly and will finally see me for who and what I am in the sport of wrestling.

Bea gives two thumbs up into the camera.

Bea:  Another thing that comes to mind is our ages. While you’re 40 years of age I’m 30 years of age. Those extra 10 years you carry are gonna weigh heavily upon you in our match. Maybe you think you’re a Mercedes but I think you’ve degraded into a Yugo which was one of the worst cars ever placed on the market. Then again maybe calling you a Yugo is the right thing for me to do because when I soundly defeat you then YOU GO into retirement. Ha ha ha!!!

While Bea is laughing at the expense of Mercedes we see Bill Barnhart walk into the room and sit down next to Bea. Bill gives Bea a hug and kiss.

Bill:  How is your presentation going? What have you talked about so far?

Bea:  I discussed why some people are so damn stupid they don’t even realize they’re stupid.

Bill:  I agree with that. And. . .?

Bea:  I talked about how people need to think before they act. I told Mercedes she has failed to think before acting which is why she has lost so many matches lately.

Bill:  And. . .?

Bea:  I talked about odds when it comes to betting at Casinos and ran it into comments how Mercedes has been taking too many risks with her career and that’s why she is losing lately. Of course I just had to bring up the fact that Mercedes is 40 and I’m 30 so with 10 extra years of age dragging her down she’s gonna lose to me. The glory days for Mercedes are over. She’s on a steep slide going down into a deep pit and the slide is greased so she’s sliding quickly. That’s it so far.

Bill:  Sounds good to me. I’ll leave you with your remaining air time. I’ll be in the Casino playing slot machines. When you’re done come get me and we’ll get something to eat.

Bill stands up, gives Bea a hug and kiss, then he walks out of the lounge and disappears down the hallway toward the Casino. The camera returns to Bea.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bea:  There’s a term BOTTOM LINE which usually refers to a financial report where the information after the bottom line represents either the profits or losses of a business. Another term for the BOTTOM LINE is the FINAL RESULT. So, Mercedes, sit back and let me enlighten you. In every match I participate in I gain knowledge and experience and I improve. When looking at your recent non-accomplishments I’d say that your Bottom Line is showing a loss and  not a gain. If you were a business with your bottom line you’d be filing for Bankruptcy. The saying around the the Sports world, is that you, Mercedes, have “hit a bit of a slump inside the ring.” I guess it depends upon how you and others look at your slump. You probably look at your slump as a BIT OF A SLUMP but to others we look at your slump, which is about the size of the State of Texas, and state BIT OF A SLUMP MY ASS!!! But chill out Mercedes. Just accept what is. Nobody remains relevant in the sport of Wrestling forever. The time eventually comes for every wrestler when they have to face the fact that they got old and cannot compete against younger wrestlers. Please allow me to introduce myself to your geriatric self. I’m the young, viable, relevant wrestler and you’re the old, irrelevant, and non-viable wrestler. Now wasn’t that so damn simple even you could understand it?

Bea waves her hand into the camera in a motion that indicates she is brushing away Mercedes Vargas.

Bea:  Mercedes I’m not going to comment that all the wrestlers who defeated you recently were just so damn awesome that they overcame what you claim as your awesomeness. Nah! Some of them that defeated you were not top-notch competitors. How can you explain those losses? The only options you have is that you *bleeped* up and lost the match. . .your opponents got totally lucky. . .or you’ve lost your abilities and you suck. I go with two of those three options in that you totally *bleeped* up and couldn’t perform well in your matches and you suck. As badly as you’ve been performing recently I would say you’re the only adult I know who can stand up in a children’s wading pool and drown while standing in a few inches of water. Oh well I’m tired of rehashing how pathetic you’ve become. The remaining of my talking will be done with my wrestling abilities in our match on Sunday.

Bea informs the cameraman she is done with her comments and he cuts his camera feed which causes the screen to go black for a moment before the Network put up some advertisements.



105
Climax Control Archives / SAYINGS
« on: August 14, 2020, 04:34:41 PM »
SAYINGS

Narrator:  The saying goes that sayings come and go. Some have stuck around for generations and other sayings turn out to last a moment to be forever forgotten. As most of you know Bill Barnhart not only has a successful wrestling career he also does part time stand-up comedy as he feels getting people to laugh is good for their health. We will open with an item that took place on November 14, 2019, which was Bill’s 36th birthday, and before the Corona Virus thing came around, so you can see how Bill Barnhart works in stand-up comedy.

The scene shifts to the Whole World Improv Comedy Theater at 1216 Spring Street NW, Atlanta, Georgia, on November 14, 2019, which was Bill’s 36th birthday, and it was before the Corona virus thing which currently has Whole World Improve Comedy Theater closed for performances. The Emcee approaches the mic to introduce home town favorite wrestler and stand-up comedian Bill Barnhart.

Emcee:  We have a great deal for you tonight! We have with us an Atlanta local favorite, from Lawrenceville, Georgia. He is a great stand-up comic, and an outstanding wrestler in Sin City Wrestling, let’s hear the home town cheers for BILL BARNHART!!!

The crowd roars their approval as Bill stands up from the table he is sharing with his wife, Bea, and he steps up on the stage. Bill approaches the mic and thanks the Emcee for the introduction and he thanks the crowd in attendance for their support. Bill then launches into his stand-up comedy routine for this evening.

Bill:  Most of you know my stand-up routine where I usually make fun of others or make up stories of situations involving well-known people. Tonight I’m trying something new which is giving you some sayings to let you think about them. Some of them you may not get at all. Some may take you some time before the concept hits you. For instance I imagine a man performing oral sex on his Mermaid girlfriend and blurting out SOMETHING TASTES FISHY!

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  You want to know how I can tell if someone is really *bleep*ed up? I can tell they’re *bleep*ed up when a demon tries to take possession of their body and the demon turns and flees from them stating that they are too *bleep*ed up for them.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  My English Bulldog Iris is on a seafood diet. She sees food and eats it!

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill pulls out a can of beer, opens it, and downs it.

Bill:  ALCOHOL! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  For me a balanced diet means a pepperoni pizza in each hand.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  What do you call ghost turds? Boo Shit!

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Doing nothing is hard because you never know when you're done.

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  If you’re not supposed to eat at night why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Don’t drink while driving. . .you might spill the beer.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

* loud laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  My English Bulldog Iris isn’t lazy. . .she’s just very relaxed.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Always remember you're unique. . .just like everyone else.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Quantity is what you count. . .quality is what you count on.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  When you're right. . .no one remembers. When you're wrong. . .no one forgets.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  If you can't see the bright side of life. . .polish the dull side.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  When life gives you melons. . .you might be dyslexic.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill: Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  What do you call vegetarian meat? Incogmeato

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  In closing if people are talking behind your back. . . then just fart!

* loud laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Thanks for your support. Keep watching me in Sin City Wrestling!

Bill steps away from the mic and heads off stage to rejoin Bea at their table. Bill shakes the hand of the Emcee and thanks him for his introduction earlier. Bill arrives at his table with Bea where they settle in to catch the performances of the other comedians.

FAST FORWARD TO TODAY

THERE IS A NEW ROULETTE CHAMPION ABOUT TO BE CROWNED

Narrator:  Welcome back to real time. When the card was announced for Climax Control 276 Bill Barnhart received a surprise in that he opens the event with a Roulette Championship Match against O’Malley. This shows that Management has taken notice of Bill’s performance in the wrestling ring and they felt he has earned a shot at the Roulette Championship. It is not a surprise that he received a Championship match, as Bill is Championship quality, but more along the lines that he did not expect to get the opportunity this soon. Bill always tells wrestlers to never turn down a golden offer as the saying goes. I will now turn you over to Bill Barnhart, who is in his hotel room located near the Gold Coast Casino where Climax Control 276 will be held and I will let him tell you the rest of the story.

The scene changes to the hotel room of Bill Barnhart. Bea and their English Bulldog Iris are not in sight so we assume they went out or they are in the other room. Bill is sitting in a large overstuffed chair and he is wearing casual clothing consisting of blue jeans, a black pullover shirt with collar, and black athletic shoes. There is a small table next to the chair and it has a plate with several slices of pepperoni pizza on it and next to the plate are several cans of Classic Coke. The cameraman gives Bill the signal they are live broadcasting and Bill jumps into his comments.

Bill:  The opening to my comments for today was the stand-up comedy routine I did in Atlanta on my 36th birthday on November 14, 2019. The topic of that stand-up comedy routine was to get people thinking about sayings. I assure you that stand-up comedy routine on sayings was the hardest stand-up routine I’ve done to date. Unlike most of my stand-up routines where the subject matter is similar the one I did on sayings jumped around to many topics. Imagine how difficult it was to learn that stand-up routine and not screw it up when in my actual performance before a live audience. Same goes for my upcoming Roulette Championship match against O’Malley. I’m not somewhat ready for this match. I’m not ready ready for this match. I’m absolutely, positively, overwhelmingly ready for this match and O’Malley is going to find that out the moment the bell rings to officially start our match.

Bill reaches over and snags a slice of pepperoni pizza that he quickly eats.

Bill:  Speaking of sayings I want to let everyone know I always say what I mean and mean what I say. Since I stepped foot in Sin City Wrestling I’ve worked hard to earn my way into a shot at Championships. I’m not a wrestler that does what most wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling do which is to demand shots at Championships when they failed to earn it. Demand, demand, demand, without a damn thing to prove they deserve it. Dipshits! My first shot at a Championship in Sin City Wrestling came after I won a match against Joshua Acquin with the winner of our match getting a shot at the Roulette Championship. I had that shot at Griffin Hawkins and the Roulette Championship on October 20, 2019, at High Stakes IX. I didn’t win that evening but I proved to the world I’m Championship material. The second shot at a Championship was against Austin James Mercer for the Internet Championship. That match came as a surprise since I wasn’t, at that time, in the rankings but Management felt I deserved a shot and the Internet Championship. I didn’t win that evening but Mercer knew I took him to his limit and everyone else saw it. To the rest of you on the Roster stop demanding shit you didn’t earn. Just sit the *bleep* down and wait for Management to bring it to you.

Bill again pauses his comments and this time he downs a slice of pepperoni pizza and he washes it down with a can of Classic Coke.

Bill:   Buuuuurrrrrppppp!!!!! Ahhh! That felt good! Speaking of things that feel good I’ll admit when the card for Climax Control 276 was announced, and I saw I open the event in a Roulette Championship match against O’Malley, the current Internet Champion, I was thrilled. This will be my second shot at the Roulette Championship and I’m not gonna allow this opportunity to slip through my fingers. I’m in this match to go to the max and walk away as Roulette Champion. Once I earn the Roulette Championship it will be a hell of a long time before I relinquish it.

Bill downs another slice of pepperoni pizza but doesn’t drink any Classic Coke this time.

Bill:  O’Malley it is time for me to talk directly to you. I cannot sit before you and claim you suck as a wrestler because you don’t. You have proven, over and over, that you belong as a Champion. Also holding two Championships, one in Sin City Underground and one in Sin City Wrestling, is a great accomplishment and I applaud you.

Barnhart claps his hands, in a very slow and sarcastic manner, to show his so-called appreciation for what O’Malley has accomplished.

Bill:  O’Malley although you have accomplishments there’s a major stain on what you have accomplished. Although you possess good wrestling skills, but of course I possess outstanding wrestling skills, you tend to rely on the help and distractions caused by Darcy to get wins in matches. Something I cannot stomach is wrestlers that have to rely on an accomplice to cause a distraction during a match or outright getting involved by interfering in a match. That takes a lot away from a wrestler even if they have good wrestling abilities. If you’re not capable of winning matches without interference or distractions then you shouldn’t be holding any Championship.

Bill again pauses to finish the last slice of pepperoni pizza and this time he downs two cans of Classic Coke before continuing his comments.

Bill:  BUUUUURRRRRPPPPP!!!!!  Oh Yeah! O’Malley let me make this so plain and simple and easy to understand that even you, with your limited mental capacity, will be able to understand. Our match is for the Roulette Championship which you currently hold. I say currently because after our match I’ll own the Roulette Championship. I will defeat you O’Malley. No I didn’t say I might defeat you. I didn’t say I might possibly defeat you. I didn’t say maybe I’ll defeat you. There are no doubts that I’ll defeat you and that’s a fact you have to accept. We have no clue where the Roulette Wheel will land. Although I would love for the Roulette Wheel to land on something like Submission Only, Knockout only, or Hardcore Rules Anything Goes, regardless where the wheel lands I’ll win. Why? I’m a damn better wrestler than you can ever hope to be! I can deal with any type of match as I have, on several occasions, mentioned to the viewers. If I managed to survive and win most of the vile evil demonic sick twisted and life-threatening matches I had against my half-brother Chris Shipman you’re an easy opponent for me. Even on the official Climax Control 276 Card the information presented for our match says the same about me. I will quote it for you in case you have a difficult time reading and comprehending.

Barnhart holds up a copy of the Climax Control 276 card and he reads the match information for his match.

Bill:  Yes, O’Malley, some of what is listed as information for our match pertains to you but after it states that you earned one Championship in Sin City Underground and then the Roulette Championship in Sin City Wrestling but after mentioning you obtaining the Roulette Championship it says. . .But now that he's won the title, the hard part comes next -- he has to KEEP it! And his first defense is against a ring veteran and one of the toughest men in the sport bar none - "Bulldog" Bill Barnhart!  Did you get that O’Malley? Did you comprehend that? ONE OF THE TOUGHEST MEN IN THE SPORT it says. If you don’t believe me there are two people you can contact to verify what I said about having the most vile, disgusting, demented, demonic, and life-threatening matches against my half-brother Chris Shipman. One would be for you to try to find Chris Shipman and ask him if I’m telling the truth about our matches in Asylum Wrestling Alliance. The other person is Goth who was Owner of Asylum Wrestling Alliance and he will tell you the same thing I did. No I haven’t paid off Goth to say something nice about me. Ask anyone who was in Asylum Wrestling Alliance with us and they will confirm that Goth hated me nearly as much as my half-brother Chris Shipman did. So here’s what I want you to do O’Malley. Keep that Roulette Championship Belt shined up for me. I want that Belt so damn shiny I can see my reflection in it like I was looking into a mirror. Yes, O’Malley, you heard me correctly, I’m the wrestler who will leave our match as the Roulette Champion.

The door to the hotel room opens and we see Bea and Iris, their English Bulldog, walk into the room. Bea notices the cameraman in the room so she takes a seat next to Bill to listen to what he is discussing concerning his upcoming match. Iris scoots over to the table where the plate of pepperoni pizza was located and she starts sniffing strongly to take in the smell of pepperoni pizza only there’s no more pepperoni pizza on the plate.

Bill:  Sorry, Iris, but the pepperoni pizza that was on the table is gone because I ate it. There’s more in the kitchen and Mommy Bea will give some to you when I’m done with my comments for my upcoming match.

Iris gives Daddy Bill the sad look but it doesn’t work to get Daddy Bill to change when she will receive her pizza.

Bea:  What have you discussed so far?

Bill:  I opened with the video of my stand-up comedy act in Atlanta on my 36th birthday on November 14, 2019, where I did a skit concerning sayings. I discussed that I’m not a fool like most wrestlers who demand shots at Championships without earning it. I discussed that I was pleasantly surprised to see I have a shot at O’Malley and the Roulette Championship to open Climax Control 276. Before you walked in I had to lay it out for O’Malley why I’ll walk away as Roulette Champion. Do you have anything to add to my comments or would you prefer to run into the kitchen to satisfy the never ending appetite of Iris?

Bea:  Iris can wait. I’ll add some comments. First I would like to comment on our Mixed Tag Team match against Kris Ryans and Mikah, The Black Sheep, that we lost. You have to realize, Bill, that had you not run into the ring without being tagged in I would have defeated Mikah and we would have won the match.

Bill:  What? Are you serious or joking with me?



Bea:  I’m being serious. Me and Mikah were going at it and next thing I know the Referee was ordering you out of the ring for being the illegal wrestler in the match at that time. Why did you do that?

Bill:  I was tired of Kris and Mikah bending the rules so when the match turned ugly I decided if they could stretch the rules so could our team. The way I saw things whether I was ordered to leave the ring or not Mikah had you for the win. You have to accept that.

Bea:  Yeah you’re right Bill. Sorry for my comments. I really thought I could take out Mikah on my own but I miscalculated her.

Bill:  Bea you are still new to the sport of wrestling. You gain experience every time you step into the ring for a match. One day you’ll dominate the Bombshell Division. I did some calculations and it came out as follows. I have 18 years experience in wrestling which is currently over 216 months. You have 6 months in wrestling which is about 3 percent of the experience I have. I felt you were in trouble in the match against Mikah and the adrenaline kicked in and I jumped into the ring. I shouldn’t have done that but I did. It is behind us and in our next Mixed Tag Team match things will be different. Before you take Iris into the kitchen for her pizza can I ask her a question?

Bea:  Sure.

Bill:  Iris when we moved to the Atlanta Metro area you ended up having a crush on Uga the English Bulldog who is the Mascot for the University of Georgia in Athens, Georgia. Now you seem to have a crush on Pete the Cactus, who lives with Senor Vinnie, and you seem to have forgotten about Uga the Bulldog. You can’t have both Iris. You have to think about this situation and make a decision of either Uga or Pete.

Iris cocks her head back and forth but her sniffing the air shows she’s more interested in the pepperoni pizza in the kitchen than paying attention to Daddy Bill’s comments. However Iris perks up and pays attention when Daddy Bill places a poster of Uga the Bulldog on a stand and a few feet away from it a poster of Pete the Cactus on a stand.

Bill:  Okay, Iris, it is decision time. Are you gonna take Uga the Bulldog or Pete the Cactus? You can only choose one of them.

Iris stands between the two posters and she looks at Uga then Pete and back and forth. She finally walks up to the poster of Uga the Bulldog, places her nose against the poster and snorts at the poster.

Iris:  *SNORT*

Iris then turns around facing her butt to the poster of Uga and Bulldog then she kicks her feet back and knocks the poster over. Satisfied with herself Iris prances over to the poster of Pete the Cactus and starts drooling and sighing and licking the poster. That’s enough for Bill and Bea now that Iris has made her official decision.

Bea:  Come on Iris! I have pepperoni pizza for you in the kitchen!

Iris never has to be told twice there is food for her to eat. She races into the kitchen ahead of Mommy Bea and she sits there panting and moaning begging for her pepperoni pizza.

O’MALLEY’S LAST MOMENTS AS ROULETTE CHAMPION SHOULD BE CELEBRATED

Bill:  Well, O’Malley, we have a short time before we step into the ring and open Climax Control 276 with what will go down in history as the best match of that event. I know what you’re thinking too. You hope you can disqualify yourself when you know I’m about to defeat you for the Roulette Championship so you lose the match but not the Belt. I hope the Roulette Wheel lands on a spot that specifies if you get yourself disqualified you’ll lose the Roulette Championship to me. If it doesn’t land on that spot then I’ll just have to quickly, soundly, and thoroughly, defeat you so that even a blind person in the arena will be able to “see” how easily I defeated you to become Roulette Champion. Also, so you cannot claim you were not warned, if the Roulette Wheel lands on a spot that doesn’t allow for interference in the match then Bea and Iris will keep a close watch on Darcy. One wrong step, one wrong move, one illegal attempt, on her part and Darcy gets taken out. If it lands on something Hardcore where the rules are thrown out the window then we’ll have a match that really represents what a Roulette Rules Match should be. What’s the bottom line O’Malley? I’m gonna kick your ass so hard it’ll take you several months to grow back a new one. Enjoy your time as Roulette Champion leading up to our match on August 16th because I’m dethroning you as Roulette Champion. I’m seriously celebrating your final days with the Roulette Championship in your possession. Once I’ve earned the Roulette Championship I’ll do all I can to become the longest-reigning Roulette Champion in Sin City Wrestling. People like Equinox, Goth, James Tuscini, Kristopher Ryans, and Griffin Hawkins, will all watch their long runs as Roulette Champion evaporate into nothingness after I surpass them all with my Championship reign. That’s all I have for you today O’Malley but I damn sure have a lot more to give you during our match on Sunday. Thanks for watching and listening. Now please return to your pathetic life. HAR HAR HAR!!!

As Bill is laughing loudly the cameraman notifies the Network that Bill is done with his comments. They tell the cameraman to remain focused on Barnhart and that they will switch the broadcast back to regularly scheduled programming. A few moments later the scene shifts to regularly scheduled programming.

>


106
Climax Control Archives / What the Hell is a Maki?
« on: July 16, 2020, 09:17:33 AM »
 WHAT THE HELL IS A MAKI?

Narrator:  When Bea’s match against Maki was announced, and Bea came to me to give ideas for my lead-in comments, the first words out of Bea’s mouth was WHAT THE HELL IS A MAKI? We looked it up and found it amusing. I will turn you over to Bea Barnhart who is in her room at the Saxon Hotel.

The scene changes to a shot of Bea Barnhart in her room at the Saxon Hotel. Bea is sitting at the dining table dressed in black slacks, a white blouse, and black athletic shoes. The cameraman pans around the room and we get a shot of Bill and Iris relaxing on the couch watching television and they are watching the favorite program for Iris which is Animal Planet. The cameraman returns his camera in the direction of Bea at the dining table and we notice that Bea has a bowl of chips, some salsa dip, and several cans of Classic Coke.

Bea:  When the card for Climax Control 275 was announced, and I saw I was facing off against Maki, my first reaction was I laughed so hard I nearly went unconscious. Maki? Seriously? Maki I want to know how you managed to gain the attention of Management that they would put you into the Bombshell Roulette Championship match at Summer XXXTreme VIII, instead of me being in the match. I should have been in that match instead of you. I guess Management likes creepy women who have to cover their ugly faces with makeup then try to present themselves as some sort of demonic or spiritual being. Nah! Maki you’re just another in a long line of fake wrestlers who have to resort to stupid gimmicks to try to get attention. I rely on my superior wrestling skills to get attention. I don’t have to cover my face with makeup because I’m not ugly like you. I’m beautiful and flaunt it every chance I get. Studying wrestling I’ve noticed there have been many wrestlers who wore a mask or makeup to try to be something they were not. Some thought the mask would hide their feelings so opponents wouldn’t know if they are hurt or not. Some thought the makeup covering their face would do the same thing. Sorry to inform you, Maki, but a person’s eyes tell the story every time. Whether a person wears a mask, or makeup like you do, your eyes are visible and I can tell when you are hurting and I’ll take advantage of you at that time.

Bea takes a break to chomp on some chips and dip then she washes it down with a can of Classic Coke.

Bea:  I looked up the definition of Maki and found it to be rather hilarious. The definition I kept seeing is that Maki is basically Sushi but prepared just a little differently and usually cut into smaller pieces. So you call yourself a name which means raw fish and spicy condiments? I may be from the Philippines where I enjoy eating fish but I damn sure don’t eat raw fish. Then to add to your fakeness did you know that in over ninety percent of Sushi restaurants they don’t even use real fish? Did you know they usually substitute the real fish with vegetables or other non-fish items. Fake fake fake fake fake just like you!

Bea breaks again to dine on chips and dip and another can of Classic Coke.

Bea:  So, Maki, I see from your information that you are from Brighton, England, which means Brit and also a twit. Surely you’re familiar with the Pink Floyd song titled ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL. I’m sure you’re also familiar with the words of the song that I’ll ask the Network to put up on the screen for you to see:

We don't need no education
We don’t need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

After the words to Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall is up on the screen long enough for viewers to read it they take the words off the screen and we return to Bea at the dining table in her room in the Saxon Hotel.

Bea:   So, Maki, let me entertain you with my version of this song. It is based on the fact that I’ve seen you hanging out in the hallway acting like a fool and a twit. My version goes as follows:

I don’t need wrestling education
Because I’m the best wrestler in the nation
And, Maki, if you think you’re the all
Then, Maki, for sure you’re gonna fall
Hey! Maki! You are gonna fall!
All in all you’re just another twit in the hall
All in all you’re just another twit in the hall

After Bea is done with her version of Another Brick in the Wall she bursts out in laughter and it takes her a moment to regain her composure.

Bea:  So, Maki, why do I consider you to be a twit? Simply put a twit is a silly or foolish person. Are you silly? Naming yourself after a form of Sushi is silly and so is wearing more make-up than Mimi from The Drew Carey show is silly. Are you foolish? Signing your name on a Contract to wrestle against me will go down in the history books as the most foolish thing you’ve done in your life! Hopefully your loss to me this Sunday will serve as a wake-up call for you. And if If you think you can sneak a win over me in our match you damn sure aren’t thinking. You’re going into Summer XXXTreme VIII off a loss to me and that will hinder you in your Bombshell Roulette match. Nothing, not even some pathetic makeup wearing geek like you, can defeat me. And since I did my version of Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd for your entertainment and insult I have another short lyrics from a Pink Floyd song that you may be familiar with. The song is an instrumental but there are twelve words that fit your situation perfectly. Remember I mentioned that Maki is basically Sushi that is cut into little pieces? Here are the words from the Pink Floyd song ONE OF THESE DAYS that I ask the Network to put up on the screen.

The Network puts up the only words spoken in Pink Floyd’s song ONE OF THESE DAYS.

ONE OF THESE DAYS I’M GOING TO CUT YOU INTO LITTLE PIECES

Bea again bursts out in uncontrollable laughter. Unfortunately she was drinking a Classic Coke when she started laughing and she spewed the Classic Coke out of her mouth onto the dining table. She quickly wipes the table clean before continuing with her comments.

Bea:  Sorry about that! Maki is so damn hilarious I can’t help but burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Just like they cut Sushi down into little pieces and call it Maki I will cut you down into little pieces and call you loser. So, Maki, with some of the items I wanted to discuss out of the way what else can I demean you with? Oh! I know! What did I glean from your information sheet Maki? That you’re not original. That you have fancy names for basic holds and maneuvers. And you probably cover your face with heavy makeup because you’re uglier than a Baboon’s ass. Yeah yeah yeah you’ll try to deny everything I’ve said about you and you have the freedom to do so. However you must understand that all the denying in the world doesn’t make you right and me wrong. What will make me right is when the Referee counts my pinfall victory over you or you tap out to submit to me in the match. What will make you wrong is when you lose the match to me by pinfall or submission and have to walk into the Bombshell Roulette Championship at Summer XXXTreme VIII coming off the loss. Please enjoy what time you have remaining until our match on Sunday, July 19, 2020. Why would I say that to you? Because once you step into the ring with me and our match starts you will lose quickly to me and be humiliated to the point you’ll want to wear a brown paper bag over your head to hide your identity as your humiliation will be immense. Damn! I’m gonna enjoy defeating and humiliating you this Sunday!

Bea looks over to the couch where Bill and Iris are watching Animal Planet.

Bea:  Bill would you like to toss in some comments before I close this session?

Bill:  All I want to say is whether you win or lose your match against Maki we are going to be involved in a Mixed Tag Team match at Summer XXXTreme VIII. When we win that Mixed Tag Team match we will prove to everyone we are the future of the Mixed Tag Team Division.

Bea:  Thanks for your comments Bill. Maki in closing I would like to state to you why I’m superior to you in every area of wrestling. I have three wins in the wrestling ring and all of them were by submission. Not many wrestlers can make that claim. Yes it is nice to be able to wear down an opponent, or injure them, and get a pinfall victory. It is nice to have your opponent run away from you and get counted out for you to win that way. It is always interesting when an opponent knows they will lose to you so they deliberately do something to get disqualified. But for a wrestler like me to dominate opponents to where I make them tap out and submit in the match proves I’m the superior wrestler in our match.

Bea informs the cameraman she’s done with her comments. The cameraman informs the Network he’ll set his camera into a slow fade to black but he’ll pan around the hotel room before the scene goes black. As he pans around we again see Bill and Iris sitting on the couch watching Animal Planet. The cameraman continues panning the room until he returns to another shot of Bea Barnhart and then the scene goes to black.


107
Climax Control Archives / Our Opponents are a Comedy Act
« on: July 02, 2020, 06:01:48 PM »
 COMEDY

Narrator:  Most of you know Bill Barnhart is a very serious person but some of you may not know that Bill can be amusing and funny. In a moment I’ll turn you over to Bill Barnhart, who is at Staggs Dungeon, in Las Vegas, Nevada, where he and Bea will be in a tag team match against a team named Sass and Bash. There is a room set up for the wrestlers to entertain those who are also in quarantine and Bill is headlining a standup comedy act for those in attendance.

The scene shifts to the event room in Staggs Dungeon, where Bill will be performing his stand-up comedy routine. The person assigned as Emcee is standing at the mic ready to introduce the next act.

Emcee:  I want to thank all the people in the audience for coming to this edition of our Amateur Night for stand-up comedians. We have a total of ten competitors tonight and you’ve already heard from nine of them. The tenth competitor is well known in the sport of wrestling, his name is Bill Barnhart, and he is a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. Without further delay I introduce to you Bill Barnhart!

The people in attendance cheer as Bill Barnhart approaches the mic. Bill wastes no time as he jumps directly into his comedy routine.

Bill:  Hi! My name is Bill Barnhart and I’m a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling and they’re holding Climax Control 273 here in Staggs Dungeon, so I hope you’ll to enjoy watching me wrestle with my tag team partner, and my wife, Bea. Let me jump into my stand-up comedy routine. I love talking about the mother and father of my friend. My friend’s mother is so fat!

There is no reaction from the audience as they are waiting to hear more before deciding if they are to laugh or moan.

Bill:  Okay. Not the reaction I expected so let me explain. When I say something like my friend’s mother is so fat you reply with the question HOW FAT IS SHE? Let us do this again. My friend’s mother is so fat!

Audience:  HOW FAT IS SHE?

Bill:  Their mother is so fat when she flies on an airplane she has to purchase an entire row of seats!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  One day she wore a white dress and 50 cars parked in front of her because they thought they were at a drive-in movie!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  Another day she wore a green dress with white stripes on it and they thought she was a football field!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  One time their mother took up ballet. Instead of wearing a Tutu she had to wear a FourFour!

Audience:  *VERY LOUD LAUGHTER*

Bill:  Thanks for the great reaction to my jokes. However I I can see by the looks I’m getting from the women in the audience that you think I’m disrespecting women but that’s not the case. In fact let me talk about my friend’s the father. You have to understand that my friend’s father is so old that…

Audience *cuts Bill off in mid-comments to shout out* HOW OLD IS HE?

Bill:  My friend’s father is so old when Archeologist found Hieroglyphs they found his picture painted on the walls!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  He’s so old Methuselah calls him Pops!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  You know in the Bible where it says GOD SAID LET THERE BE LIGHT. . .AND THERE WAS LIGHT? The next thing heard was my friend’s father yelling out: HEY! TURN OUT THAT LIGHT! I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  Now let me return to my friend’s mother since I forgot to tell you that in addition to being so fat she’s also so ugly.

Audience:  HOW UGLY IS SHE?

Bill:  She’s so ugly they use her as a model for Gargoyles!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  She’s so ugly the Phantom of the Opera walked up to her, took off his mask, and handed it to her saying HERE, TAKE MY MASK, YOU NEED IT MORE THAN I DO!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  She’s so ugly when the Elephant Man saw her he screamed in horror!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  She came over my house once and scared the fur off my cat!!!

Audience:  *VERY LOUD LAUGHTER*

Bill:  I want to change from talking about my friend’s parents and talk to you about learning to speak another language. One time my friend tried to teach me Spanish as he said Spanish is extremely easy to learn. I have to be honest with you that I have enough trouble with English but I listened to my friend anyway. For example my friend told me that AQUI means HERE. AQUI means HERE. Hmmm…I thought A KEY was something you put into a door to unlock the lock!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  Then my friend told me that QUE means WHAT. QUE means WHAT. I thought K was the eleventh letter of the alphabet.

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill waits to see if audience counts the letters of the alphabet to the letter K and for sure the people in the audience start counting the letters using their hands.

Bill:  I see you counting the letters on your hands…A -- B -- C -- D -- E -- F -- G -- H -- I -- J -- K and then looking at each other and saying GEE. . .K IS THE ELEVENTH LETTER OF THE ALPHABET! Of course it is! I wouldn’t lie to you!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  After my friend tried to teach me the meaning of QUE and AQUI they got frustrated and assured me the next Spanish word they would teach me would be the word PORQUE which means BECAUSE. My friend repeated that PORQUE means BECAUSE. I burst out laughing because I wasn’t buying that definition. What I said to them was: OH COME ON! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT PORKY IS A CARTOON PIG!!!

The audience is laughing so hard some of them are snorting, some pass out from lack of oxygen, and others double over from the pain in their side from the hard laughing.

Audience:  *VERY LOUD LAUGHTER* *SNORT*

Bill:  Thank you! Thank you very much! I’m glad you enjoyed my stand up comedy routine. Remember that myself and Bea are in a Mixed Tag Team match against a team named Sass and Bash consisting of Malachi and Bella Madison.

At the mention of the names Malachi and Bella Madison those in attendance in the room burst out is loud laughter.

Bill:  How appropriate that I did a comedy routine and now me and Bea have a match against a joke of a team and at the mention of their names I got more laughter than from my jokes. Again thanks for enjoying my performance.

A SHORT TIME LATER IN THE ROOM OF BILL AND BEA BARNHART AT THE SAXON HOTEL.

Bill Barnhart walks from the kitchen area to the living room area of their hotel room, holding a large bowl of chips and dip, and he takes a seat on the couch. He places the bowl of chips and dip on the coffee table. In a flash Iris his English Bulldog runs into the room and jumps on the couch drooling for some chips and dip.

Bill:  Don’t worry Iris. I have chips and dip for you I’ll give them to you when I’m done with my presentation.

Bill stands up and returns to the kitchen to get something and he returns with a six pack of Classic Coke which he places on the coffee table in front of the couch. Iris continues drooling and Bill ignores her and he promised to give her chips and dip after he’s done with his comments.

Bill:  This may come as a surprise to most of you but I have very little to say about Malachi and Bella Madison. Why, you are thinking, would Bill Barnhart not have much to say about opponents when he’s usually full of words for everyone? Well if I had quality opponents who I felt would give me a rough time in the match I’d have a lot to say. What the hell can I say about two opponents who suck? What the hell can I say about the other male wrestler in the match who is 6 inches shorter and 65 pounds lighter than I am? YOU TWO SUCK is the best thing I can say about you two at this time. I’m not gonna say I’m disappointed that the King for the Day assigned us to this match. I will, though, state, that when we defeat you it should lead to our Mixed Tag Team getting a shot at the Mixed Tag Team Champions. I would not request or demand that match but I’ll leave it to Management to make that call.

Bill loads a large bowl with chips and dip for Iris. We see the eyes of Iris light up when she sees the food. Bill places a large bath towel on the floor and then he places the bowl on the towel. Iris doesn’t need to wait for Daddy Bill to let her know she can dive into the chips and dip as she jumps off the couch and shoves her face in the bowl. When Iris looks up from the bowl we cannot help but laugh seeing chips and dip spread all over her face.

Bill:  Oh Iris! Now you have chips and dip all over your face so I’m gonna have to give you a bath to clean you up.

Iris hears the B word, BATH, and she freaks out. Before running into the bedroom to hide under the bed Iris finishes the chips and dip and then she rubs her face on the towel to get as much of the chips and dip as she can off her face. Satisfied she did what she could Iris flees to the bedroom and hides under the bed.

Bill:  The Mixed Tag Team we’re facing at Climax Control 273 call themselves Sass and Bash. More like Beavis and Butthead if you ask me. Heh heh heh! These two ass clowns are pathetic excuses for wrestlers and even more pathetic calling themselves a tag team. Malachi the Moron and Bella the butthead are gonna find out how hellish a match against myself and Bea can be. There’s a hell of a lot of hurt, pain, and suffering, wrestlers can legally put on other wrestlers fully within the rules of a non-Hardcore Rules match. I would tell Malachi and Bella to WATCH AND LEARN but I have to let them know that when we beat you two to where your eyes are swollen and bruised shut it is damn hard to see anything. Har har har! I can’t wait to get you two inside the ring at Climax Control 273.

Bill motions to the cameraman he is done with his comments and the cameraman calls into the Network for instructions on what to do next. He is told to place her camera into a slow fade to black and they will take over once the scene has gone to black. He does as he is instructed and in about 30 seconds the scene fades to black.


108
Climax Control Archives / Gonna Be A Fun Match
« on: July 02, 2020, 06:00:07 PM »
 SASS AND BASH?  MORE LIKE DUMB AND DUMBER

Narrator:  Bea asked me to lead into her comments for her upcoming match at Climax Control 273 by having the Network show a surveillance video of an incident that took place at the Cruse Crossing Kroger Grocery Store on Herrington Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia. She asked this be shown to give everyone an idea how tough she is.

We open with a scene of Bea Barnhart coming out of the Cruse Crossing Kroger Grocery Store located on Herrington Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We don’t know when this particular event took place but we know it is surveillance camera video of an incident that happened about a year ago.

Bea comes out of the Kroger Grocery Store pushing one of the large shopping carts that is full of the items she purchased. When she arrives at her car she opens the trunk and starts loading her purchases into the trunk. We see two large men run up and attack Bea and try to steal her purchases. Since Bea was leaning into the trunk when the two men attacked she didn’t see them coming but she felt their presence. Realizing she was in danger Bea grabbed a tire iron that was in her trunk and when one of the men grabbed her, and the other tried stealing her groceries, she swung the tire iron back behind her and whacked the man holding onto her in the ribs, then she turned toward him and kicked him in the groin, and the man drops to the pavement. She turns around and swings the tire iron at the head of the second man which knocks the man unconscious and he drops her grocery bags as he collapses to the pavement. Apparently one of the other customers called 911 as several Gwinnett Police vehicles came into the parking lot and arrested the two men.

The video is done playing and the scene shifts to Bea Barnhart at the room at the Saxon Hotel where she and Bill and Iris are staying. She is dressed casually in blue jeans, a pink pullover shirt, and pink athletic shoes. Bea is sitting on a chair next to the couch and she looks into the camera and begins her comments.

Bea:  The Narrator told me ahead of time what what video he was going to show you on the screen. I didn’t want it shown but now that it is public I will talk about it. When someone f*cks with me they get f*cked with in return by me. When two men tried to kidnap me and steal my groceries and possibly my car I f*cked them up and they’re still in prison to this day.

Bea lets out a loud sigh.

Bea:  *SIGH* I was able to take out two men who were larger and heavier than me. It isn’t the size that matters it is how you handle yourself that counts. At Climax Control 273 me and Bill, as a Mixed Tag Team, face off against the team of Sass and Bash consisting of Malachi and Bella Madison. Apparently the wrestling gods have a major sense of humor by creating you two and then getting you to combine as a Mixed Tag Team. Maybe instead of the name Sass and Bash maybe you could have called yourselves Dumb and Dumber. But since that was a title of a movie maybe Lame and Lazy would be a more appropriate name for your team.

Bea laughs for a bit.

Bea:  I heard rumors that you two immediately whined to Management to demand to know why you got assigned to me and Bill in a Mixed Tag Team match instead of getting a shot at the Mixed Tag Team Championship. I heard you claimed it wasn’t fair that the King for the Day, Jack Washington, made a non-title match for you against us. I also heard that the King for the Day put you in your place and told you to shut the hell up. If you’re so great that you feel you should be handed a shot at the Mixed Tag Team Championship you would have received that match. But you didn’t receive that match because you don’t deserve it. Hopefully the winner of our match, me and Bill of course, will receive a shot at the Mixed Tag Team Champions for our win. But that decision is with Management and the two of us don’t run around demanding shots at Championships like you do. We earn what we get.

Iris, Bill and Bea’s English Bulldog, walks into the room and she walks by Mommy Bea and looks up at her then continues walking until she is out of camera range.

Bea:  Bella let me focus on you for a moment since in our Mixed Tag Team match it is female wrestler versus female wrestler and male wrestler versus male wrestler. You know the rules of the match Bella. If we are the legal wrestlers in the ring and one of us tags our partner into the match then both of us need to leave the ring to the men. If the two men are the legal wrestlers in the ring and one of them tags their partner into the match then both male wrestlers must leave the ring. No male on female or female on male thing. Hope that wasn’t overly confusing for your pathetic little pea brain but at least you can’t claim you didn’t know the rules of the match.

Bea gives two thumbs up into the camera.

Bea:  To be honest with you Bella I hope the majority of the match is with us two as the legal wrestlers in the ring. With Bill having a height advantage over Malachi of six inches and a weight advantage over Malachi of 65 pounds having Bill and Malachi as the legal wrestlers in the match means we would have an extremely short match before we are declared the winners. Bill would defeat Malachi so quickly he would break the Sound Barrier and cause a sonic boom in the process. But with us two as the legal wrestlers in the ring we are more evenly matched, not in wrestling abilities, but in height and weight, so at least we are closer in size and weight than Bill and Malachi are. We’re the same height but I have five pounds more weight. Therefore the advantage is that I have outstanding wrestling skills, I’m quick in the ring, and I love to make opponents submit. Good luck, girl, you damn sure gonna need it!

Bea stands up from the chair and walks closer to the camera so they can get a close shot of her face.

Bea:  While I get along well with Bill as his Tag Team partner and he with me I don’t see where you two have much in common except an attitude of bragging about something you don’t possess. You two simply don’t mix. You two don’t meld together. You two are like polar opposites and that will cause your demise in our match. There are other things that also don’t mix. Oil and water don’t mix. Metal forks and electrical outlets don’t mix. Bathtubs and toasters don’t mix. Your face and a wall don’t mix. Super glue and your fingers don’t mix. The list goes on and on but at the top of the list is that Malachi and Bella don’t mix. Thanks to everyone who tuned in today to hear my comments on my upcoming match. Bye!

With the cue from Bea that her comments are over the cameraman cuts his camera feed. He did it so quickly that the Network was caught off guard and the screen goes black. It takes the Network about 30 seconds to switch over to a commercial break to fill the air time.



109
Climax Control Archives / NEXT VICTIM = TALLYN
« on: June 25, 2020, 11:23:11 AM »
 NEXT VICTIM. . .TALLYN

OFF CAMERA

We’re taken back to immediately after Bill Barnhart’s match against Austin James Mercer, for the Internet Championship, at Into the Void IX, on Sunday, June 7, 2020. We are taken to the backstage area where the room set up for Bill to use as his dressing room is located. As the cameraman gets a shot of Bill we see Bea holding an ice bag over the face of Bill and there is a bloody towel on Bill’s lap. After a video consultation with his family Physician, Doctor Kim, located in Duluth, Georgia, Bill was cleared to wrestle in his next match, a Fatal Four Way, against Kris Ryans, Griffin Hawkins, and O’Malley at Climax Control 271.

THE SCENE SHIFTS TO IMMEDIATELY AFTER BILL’S FATAL FOUR WAY MATCH AT CLIMAX CONTROL 271.

Bill:  Well I didn’t win the Fatal Four Way to earn that Open Contract for any Championship until the end of 2020 but I performed well considering I was coming off some brutal face shots against Austin James Mercer at Into the Void IX. Kris Ryans won the match and he’s well deserving of the win. I hope Kris uses that Open Contract wisely so he benefits the most from it.

Bea:  Do you know what that means Bill? It means that I’m gonna be the first between us to earn a Championship in Sin City Wrestling.

Bill:  However things turn out is fine with me. If you earn a Championship before I do the Championship is still in our family.

A SHORT TIME LATER AT THE HOTEL ROOM OF BILL AND BEA BARNHART AT THE SAXON HOTEL

Bea:  Bill I’ve been working with Iris on doing her version of Karaoke on a song that was popular in 1991.

Bill:  Oh, great, this I gotta see.

Bea:  You have to understand Iris can’t really sing but I dubbed lyrics over the music of the original song titled I’M TOO SEXY which was released by Right Said Fred. I taught Iris how to mouth the words even though she cannot sing the words and I also taught her how to shake her booty to the music.

Bill:  Something tells me I should have downed a six pack of beer before this performance.

Bea positions Iris in the middle of the room and hits the play button on the Karaoke machine. We hear the music from I’M TOO SEXY by Right Said Fred hit and we watch as Iris dances around to the music and moving her mouth as the lyrics Bea dubbed to the music for her starts to play.

Iris:

I’M. . .TOO. . .SEXY. . .

I’m too sexy for my collar
I’m too sexy for my leash
I’m too sexy for my dog food
I’m too sexy for my fleas

I’m too sexy for the Vet
I’m too sexy to be your pet
Because. . .

I’M. . .TOO. . .SEXY. . .

Iris is done with her performance and Bea turns the Karaoke machine off.

Bea:  Well?

Bill:  Could you go into the kitchen and bring out TWO six packs of beer? I need to drink the six pack of beer I should have downed before the performance of Iris and then drink the other six pack of beer to try to erase my memory of her performance. By the way, Iris, please don’t quit your day job because as you don’t have a future in the entertainment industry as  your performance shows.

Iris gives Daddy Bill a mean look at that insult so she turns around and struts into the bedroom to get away from his insults.

Bea:  Now you did it. You hurt her feelings.

Bill:  Iris will get over it. Won’t take more than the F-word, F-O-O-D to get her out of her depression.

Bill and Iris burst out laughing at the expense of Iris then we see Iris poke her head out from the bedroom because she heard the laughter. Iris then retreats back into the bedroom.

ON CAMERA

We are returned to the present where we see Bea Barnhart walking around where the ring is set up in the GO Gym which is where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 272. Bea is in her normal wrestling attire for this presentation. When Bea walks to where the bottom of the entrance ramp is she stops to present comments.

Bea:  I have a match at Climax Control 272 against some airhead named Tallyn. Before I direct my comments at Tallyn I want to address Violet Amelia Holt. You got lucky against Candy by accidentally setting her on fire in your Roulette match as the rules for that match was to set your opponent on fire for the win. Then your very first defense you lost the Championship. Very impressive. . . NOT!!!  Violet please ensure you watch my match against Tallyn so you’ll see and understand that I have more maneuvers and holds than those listed on my Bio Sheet. When we finally meet again I’ll deliver your fourth loss in our fourth match against each other and, yes, it will be by submission again. And, Violet, remember I was promised that if you lost the Roulette Championship I would get a shot at the Roulette Champion before you get a re-match. That means I’m gonna win the Roulette Championship and then you’ll likely get assigned against me as your rematch so you can lose the fourth time to me. Enough of talking to the person I defeated three times in three matches by submission.

Bea strolls across the floor to stand near one of the corners of the ring next to the ring steps.

Bea:  Tallyn just as my real name is Beatrice but everyone calls me Bea, which is pronounced like BAY AH and not like BEE, I’m pretty sure your real name isn’t Tallyn but a nickname you obtained as a kid. For example Bill had a nephew names James. Everyone in the family called him Jimmy. But since he had a habit of soiling his pants his classmates nicknamed him STINKY.  A classmate of Bill’s had to wear glasses when he was ten years old. He earned the nickname FOUR EYES which is a common tease for people who wear glasses. Bill told me his classmate went to the front of the classroom to sharpen his pencil with the pencil sharpener that was attached to the wall. When his classmate was done he turned the knocked the part of the pencil sharpener that holds the pencil shavings onto the floor and the shavings went everywhere. As his classmate was cleaning up the mess one of the other students yelled out DAMN! YOU GOT FOUR EYES AND STILL CAN’T SEE!!! So what is your reason for having the name Tallyn? I’m assuming you were a typical bratty girl who thought she knew everything and that you told on everyone you thought was doing something wrong. Where I grew up in the Philippines the term for someone who felt the need to tell on everyone was being a TATTLE TALE.  I have a mental image of you telling the other kids, when you saw them doing something you felt you had to inform an adult about, OOOOOO! I’M TELLIN’!!! I also visualize the other kids calling you TALLYN as a taunt for always telling on them.

Bea cannot hold back her laughter at what she just said about Tallyn. After she gets her laugh out she regains her composure. Bea walks up the ring steps and then ducks through the ropes into the ring.

Bea:  This is the ring where I’ll destroy you Tallyn. I don’t give a damn if all your friends in Sin City Wrestling think you’re great and talented. I know you are not as great as me and not as talented as I am. If you come into our match over-confident so be it. If you come into our match scared and intimidated so be it. If you try to hire interference to screw me out of the win so be it. Those who support me are glad to step in and stop interference on behalf of my opponents. Just be ready for me to walk away the winner as I’m not gonna lose to a whiny so-called entitled bitch like you.

Bea exits the ring and heads to the table where the color commentators present their comments during matches. Bea sits in one of the chairs and looks into the camera.

Bea:  Tallyn this is where Jason Adams and Belinda Simone will comment on our match. Other than them commenting how awesome I am and how pathetic you are they probably won’t have much else to talk about. After the Ring Announcer presents my win over you there will be cheering in the GO Gym like you haven’t heard before. I’m the future of this company so you damn sure need to get used to that. I’m done with my comments for this session. Bill told me to meet him in an event room at the Saxon Hotel as he has a presentation for me so I’ll pick up on my comments in a little bit.

AFTER A SHORT TIME THE SCENE COMES INTO FOCUS AT AN EVENT ROOM IN THE SAXON HOTEL

Bea enters the event room inside the Saxon Hotel. She is greeted by Senor Vinnie and he escorts Bea to a table near the stage. Bea asks Vinnie what’s going on but he tells her to wait and enjoy the show. The Emcee walks up to the mic on the stage to address the audience.

Emcee:  Ladies and gentlemen thank you for coming to the event room today. We have a special presentation for a very special lady. Without further delay I present to you Bill Barnhart!!!

Bill Barnhart walks out from the backstage area and he walks up to the mic.

Bill:  Bea you are an exceptional woman and I see great things for you in Sin City Wrestling including earning Championships. Since you caught the attention of my heart, and we fell in love, and I asked you to marry me, I wanted to give you a special presentation of a song by Frankie Valli titled CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU.

The music hits and Bill launches into the song.

You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you

Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak

But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you

I love you, baby
And if it's quite alright, I need you, baby
To warm a lonely night, I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say

Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray, oh pretty baby
Now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you

You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you

Bill’s performance is over and the people in the event room give him a standing ovation. Bea rushes up on stage and throws her arms around Bill’s neck and the two enjoy a firm hug and passionate kiss. They walk off the stage to join Senor Vinnie at their table.

Bea:  Oh, Bill, that was so sweet! Thanks for always letting me know I’m the most special girl in your life.

Bill:  Don’t let Iris hear you say that as she thinks she is the most special girl in my life.

Bill, Bea, and Vinnie, enjoy a laugh at the expense of Iris.

Bill:  I’m looking forward to you easily defeating Tallyn and sending her back to the bottom of the ladder so she’ll have to work her way back up to where she is going into your match.

Bea:  Tallyn is another in a long line of those like Violet Amelia Holt who came out of the same mold. They get put together, they get an attitude, they are arrogant, but they can’t back it up, and they can’t defeat me. I back up everything I say.

Bill:  Tallyn would have to be the luckiest person on the planet to get a win over you.

Bea:  Tallyn you think you’re it. You think you’re the future of Sin City Wrestling. I’m here to tell you that you’re nothing but the equivalent of a filthy Cockroach I’ll squish under my wrestling boots. You want to talk about being lucky in order to get a win over me? Well, Tallyn, let me tell you how lucky you would need to be to defeat me. You would have to be so lucky that you would find the winning Super Lotto Ticket on the sidewalk every day for 30 days. You would have to be so lucky that you would go to a Casino and hit the highest jackpot on one particular slot machine 100 times in a row. And, finally, you would have to be lucky enough to catch a Leprechaun every day for 30 days straight and take his pot of gold away from him each time. Good luck with that.

Senor Vinnie:  Bea since you are Bill’s Manager, and you also serve as Manager for the Tag Team I have with Bill, do you plan on being in my corner at my match against Jack Washington?

Bea:  Thanks for asking Vinnie but I will only be at matches as Manager when Bill is performing or when you and Bill are performing as a Tag Team. You have Pete the Cactus in your corner and he’s quite capable of keeping an eye on your matches.

The three continue their conversation as the cameraman informs the Network he is going to place his camera into a fade to black so they will be ready to switch programming once the scene fades out.

The scene slowly fades to black and the Network cuts to regularly scheduled programming.


110
Climax Control Archives / I Have a Target On My Back
« on: June 18, 2020, 11:26:36 AM »
 I HAVE A TARGET ON MY BACK

OFF CAMERA

We are taken to the dressing room of Bill Barnhart immediately after his match against Austin James Mercer, for the Internet Championship, at Into the Void IX, on Sunday, June 7, 2020. We get a shot of Bill and we see Bea holding an ice bag over his face and there is a bloody towel on Bill’s lap.

Bea:  Are you sure you’re okay? You took some heavy blows to the face in your match with Austin James Mercer.

Bill:  You know the saying Bea. If you think I look bad you should look at my opponent. I gave Austin as much, if not more, punishment than he gave me. I’ll be fine. The Doctor at the Arena said I have no broken bones but I do have several busted blood vessels. Bleeding from the nose is always more dramatic than the actual injury. I’ve had worse damage done to me by my half-brother Chris Shipman. This is nothing compared to what my pathetic piece of shit half-brother did to me. Just a bit hard for me to breathe with blood vessels in my nose busted and blood oozing into my nose and down my chin.

Bea:  Let me remove the ice pack to check how you’re doing.

Bea removes the ice pack and looks over the nose and face of Bill. We see Bill’s nose is bruised and swollen.

Bea:  Take a deep breath then exhale several times.

Bill does as he is told and he starts doing breathing exercises.

Bill:  In with the good air. . .and out with the bad air. *inhale* *exhale* *honk* *snort*  *inhale* *exhale* *honk* *snort**inhale* *exhale* *honk* *snort* Damn! Looks like we have more work to do to stop the bleeding and get rid of the clogs.

Bea:  We’ll get it under control shortly. Good thing we’re not at a lake with Geese or they may take your honking for a mating call.

Bill:  Very funny Bea! Although I lost the match against Austin James Mercer I always give credit to others when it is due. Mercer performed well in our match and I came up short. He got the win and retained the Internet Championship. I never get upset when an opponent wins as long as they didn’t cheat or have interference in the match. There’s more Championship matches coming my way in my future. Let’s get our stuff and return to the hotel.

Bill, Bea, and Iris their English Bulldog, gather their things and walk out of the room that served as their dressing room and head out to return to their hotel room.

ON CAMERA

I HAVE A TARGET ON MY BACK

>

After leaving the graphic up for a time the Network removes the graphic from the screen and we again get a shot of Bill Barnhart.

Bill:  Wow! The Queen for the Day came up with a great match between myself, Kris Ryans, Griffin Hawkins, and O’Malley. Let me start with you Kris. When you came out of retirement you were scheduled against me in a match on April 24, 2020, at Climax Control 266. You felt you were going to make quick work of me and walk away the winner. Do you remember that match Kris or have you conveniently taken enough drugs to wipe your mind clear of that match? Whether you remember what happened in that match or not I’m gonna remind you what happened. You returned to wrestling sooner than you should have after going into retirement from an injury. The match ended when I placed you in my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold and defeated you by submission. But, Kris, I’m not a total asshole as I pay attention and I know what’s going on in Sin City Wrestling. After your loss to me it was a wakeup call for you. Since I defeated you I’ve noticed you’ve worked harder, and focused more, and have won several matches since our match. I opened my comments by stating I know I have a target on my back. I know you are aiming at that target because you know how easily I can defeat you. I’m okay with having a target on my back and having people aim at that target. But, Kris, as with our first match on April 24, 2020, I’ll defeat you again. Whether I directly defeat you by pinfall or submission, or I defeat Hawkins or O’Malley, the end result remains that I’m the one to get the win in the Fatal Four Way match and the three of you take a loss. Be ready for anything and everything Kris as I damn sure plan on winning this match!

Bea:  This match is going to be the match that catapults Bill to the top of the rankings in all Divisions.

Bill:  The next person I wish to address is Griffin Hawkins. Griffin you know when I came into Sin City Wrestling I asked for a match against you as I had three wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling I felt if I could face them it would be a dream match for me. If you remember the three wrestlers were you, Fenris, and Casey Williams. Only you and Fenris accepted my challenge but Casey chickened out. Go back to my match with Fenris. I took Fenris to his limits. Yes I lost the match to him but he didn’t cheat to win so I congratulated him on his victory. The same applies to you Hawkins. Our match was for the Roulette Championship you held at that time. The match was on October 20, 2019, at High Stakes IX. If you remember it was a Steel Cage Match. Just as I did with Fenris and Kris Ryans, I took you to your limit. I commended you on your ability to get the win over me as you did it cleanly and you retained the Roulette Championship. Although you’ve had success previously it seems recently you’ve experienced many failures. Of the four wrestlers in our match I see you as the weakest. Sorry to have to let you know that I’ve gone from having ultimate respect for you to not feeling the excitement of you any longer. I’m winning our match at Climax Control 271 and the three of you can sit in your dressing rooms licking your wounds while I walk away with an Open Contract to challenge for any Championship until the end of 2020.

Bea:  I echo your comments that Hawkins has dropped in performance and support of the fans. He’s about to lose more fan support after you win this match.

Bill and Bea take a drink break with Bill downing a Classic Coke and Bea downing a can of Corona Hard Cider.

Bill:  Love my Classic Coke!

Bea:  Love my Corona Hard Cider Mango! The Mango flavor brings back memories from when I lived in the Philippines.

After the two finish their drinks their comments continue.

Bill:  Now I come to my comments on the final person I’m facing in this upcoming match. O’Malley I’m not sure where to start so I’ll let my comments flow however they come out. You’ve been fairly successful in the wrestling ring and I have to put you as the second most capable wrestler in our match after myself. Ryans would be the third most capable and Hawkins brings up the rear being the least capable in our match. Now, O’Malley, before you get an inflated ego, that requires you to run out and purchase hats two sizes larger, you need to hear me out. Yes you’ve experienced a certain level of success, if you call winning matches by having Darcy interfere in your matches as success, so you are somewhat of a challenge. But although you seem to be unable to win matches without the help of Darcy you need to know that Darcy will not be able to save your ass in our match. Bea will you take over comments at this point?

Bea:  Darcy, Darcy, Darcy, I’ve watched you work in the corner of O’Malley and I have to make the comment that it makes a man look pathetic when he cannot win a wrestling match unless his Manager or Valet or Wife or Girlfriend, interferes in the match. I’ve seen you attack his opponents when the Referee wasn’t looking. I’ve seen you use substances prohibited in the sport of wrestling to disable O’Malley’s opponents. Before you get your mean girl smirk on let me inform you of how things are going down at this match. I’m in Bill’s corner as his Manager. I’ll also have Iris with me. Since Iris is in Bill’s corner with me there is an outside chance Pete the Cactus will also be in Bill’s corner as he does have a crush on Iris. No, Darcy, please don’t try to make the claim that me and Iris, and possibly Pete, will interfere in the match. We never have to resort to chickenshit interference like you and O’Malley have to do in order to win a match. We’re in Bill’s corner to prevent interference and you need to realize if you try anything in this match I’ll bitch slap you so hard they’ll hear that bitch slap on the Moon. I give the comments back to you Bill.

Bill:  Oh, my, a male wrestler who has to rely on interference from his woman in order to win matches sure take a man from masculine to castrated in a flash. You know the rules of a Fatal Four Way Match right O’Malley? First wrestler to obtain a pinfall or submission in the match is the winner. It doesn’t matter if the pinfall or submission I get is on Ryans, Hawkins, or you, I win the match and you three take a loss on your record. I’ll walk away with the win and the Open Contract to challenge for any Championship until the end of 2020. Gonna be tons of fun for me to walk around with an Open Contract to challenge for any Championship whenever I want. I can’t wait to see how the Champions look at me when I walk by never knowing if they’ll be the Champion I challenge.

Bea:  Before we close this session I want to remind you to tell the viewers what happened to you at Skyline High School when you wanted to try out for the Track Team. I feel it is important for everyone to know that just because others snub you or ignore you that it has no effect on your performance and success.

Bill:  Thanks for the reminder.  I wish to inform Kris Ryans, Griffin Hawkins, and O’Malley of what happens when I’m taken lightly. When I attended Skyline High School in Oakland, California, I was known for being one of the top three fastest runners in the school when it came to the 50, 100, and 200 Meter races and in the top three in the Long Jump. Although these races and Long Jump were conducted during normal Gym Class, and not on the Varsity Team, I made it a point to remain after school so I could show the Coaches, and members of Varsity Track Team, what I was capable of. I spent 30 days remaining at school, after regular school time was over, running and jumping and asking the Coaches to consider me for the Varsity Team.

Bea:  Tell them what happened.

Bill:  At the time I went to Skyline High School there were 2,500 students in the school so being in the top three for anything was amazing. I remained after school for 30 days working hard to have the Coaches, and Varsity Track Team members, watch me, and take notice of me, in the running and jumping events. Did they pay attention to me? Nah! The Varsity Track Team was nothing more than a social club where if you were an athlete, but not friends or relative with one or more of the Coaches or Track Team members, they ignored you. You simply got on the team due to friendships and not based on your abilities. After 30 days of being ignored by Coaches and Track Team members I walked away and never looked back. I figured it was their loss to not have one of the top three fastest runners and one of the top three longest jumpers on their Track Team.

Bea: What happened next?

Bill:  Instead of continuing to try to get the attention of Coaches at Skyline High School I entered events sponsored by the City of Oakland, Alameda County, and the State of California. In those events in the 50, 100, and 200 Meters races, and in Long Jump competitions, I constantly scored in the top three, City-wide, County-wide, and State-wide. It was only when the Coaches and Track Team members at Skyline High School saw my accomplishments that they came to me to beg me to join the Skyline High School Varsity Track Team. I gave them the middle finger, told them to f*ck off, and walked away. Why did I tell you this? Just like the Coaches and Varsity Track Team members took me lightly so you three are taking me lightly. In our match I’m gonna out-perform and outshine you and walk away the winner. I will not ask if you three have questions for me because you already know what my answer will be and the answer is that I’ll win our match and walk away with the Open Contract for any Championship I want! And Kris, Griffin, and O’Malley, I have the target on my back in this match because I’m the best wrestler in our match and you three are aiming at the target. Sorry but your aim is off, you missed the target, and I walk away the winner. Bea is there anything else you wish to add to our comments before we close this session?

Bea:  Well, yes, I do have, but I’m not sure if this is the time and place to talk about it.

Bill:  When a person has something on their mind they need to state it while it is fresh on their mind. What’s on your mind Bea?

Bea:  Remember when I was on Twitter recently and made a comment why, if I defeated Violet Amelia Holt three times, in three matches, all by submission, why I wasn’t assigned to face her for the Bombshell Roulette Championship at Climax Control 271?

Bill:  Yes.

Bea:  I posted that comment just to air out what was on my mind. I wasn’t expecting the response I received. I did expect sarcastic catty comments from the other Bombshells but the response I received from Mark Ward was a surprise.

Bill:  This is getting interesting.

Bea:  Mark Ward said the match for Climax Control 271 was already scheduled by the Queen for the Day and I was not included in that match. He went on to state if Violet Amelia Holt retains the Bombshell Roulette Championship at Climax Control 271 he’ll assign me to a match against Violet for the Championship but with a twist.

Bill:  The twist being?

Bea:  Since I bragged about defeating Violet three times by submission I would be assigned to a Bombshell Roulette Championship match against her but I can only win by submission. The twist is that Violet can win and retain the Championship by any means. That puts a short leash on me but I’ll be fine and will still win the match.

Bill:  Did he state what would happen if Violet does not retain the Championship at Climax Control 271?

Bea:  Yes and it was an interesting decision. He said if Violet fails to retain the Championship at Climax Control 271 that I’ll be assigned to face whoever is the Bombshell Roulette Champion before Violet receives her rematch for losing the Championship. I wasn’t trying to push for anything with that Tweet I was simply airing out my thoughts.

Bill:  What that shows me is Management has taken notice of you and they want to see how capable you are and how far you can go. Thanks for letting us hear that information. For my opponents I’ll close with comments based on the fact that Climax Control 271 is taking place at the GO Gym. With the word GO in mind Kris you should GO back into retirement. Griffin you need to GO back to the Development Division until you can get yourself back up to speed. And for you, O’Malley, you need to GO back to being able to wrestle without interference from Darcy. With that said we’re done with our comments and we will see everyone at the GO Gym on Sunday, June 21, 2020, at Climax Control 271.

Bea informs the cameraman they are done with their comments. The cameraman cuts his feed and our screen goes black.


111
Climax Control Archives / It Isn't Always The Biggest In a Fight That Wins
« on: May 22, 2020, 09:52:18 AM »
 IT ISN’T ALWAYS THE BIGGEST IN A FIGHT THAT WINS

OFF CAMERA

We are taken back to when Bea Barnhart lived in the Philippines. This, of course, is well before she met and married Bill Barnhart, as she was still a teen at the time. Since her family lived outside of the city of Manila they had to travel long distances to obtain food, water, and other needed items. Most of the kids where Bea lived tried to get all their stuff in one trip. When they loaded everything to bring it back to their home the load was so heavy and unstable they ended up dropping most of the items along the way because they tried to carry too much in one trip. They couldn’t walk fast as they were carrying such a heavy load. Having to stop and pick up the items they dropped, and readjusting their heavy load numerous times, then stopping many times to rest and regain their energy, then reload items to try to carry them in one trip again, caused them to take four to six hours to accomplish the task.

Bea had to travel the same distance to and from the stores to get the same items as the other kids but she had a different approach. Instead of trying to get all the items from her shopping trip to her home by attempting to carry everything at once, causing her to drop stuff and have to rest numerous times, Bea separated the items into smaller, lighter loads which allowed her to walk, and even run, with her items so that she was able to bring the same amount of items home as the other kids but in less than half the time. Where it would take the other kids from four to six hours to get everything home, due to dropping items and resting a lot, Bea could get the same number of items home in less than two to three hours.

The moral of the story is that sometimes breaking large heavy things into smaller and lighter items which are easy to control and manipulate is the way to be successful and win.

ON CAMERA

Narrator:  Although Bea Barnhart to be giving up 110 pounds of weight to Bobbie Dahl, and some of you may consider this a difficult challenge for Bea, you need to know it isn’t always the biggest or heaviest in a fight who wins the fight.

The scene changes to the hotel room of Bea Barnhart which she shares with her husband Bill Barnhart and their English Bulldog Iris. Bea is casually dressed in blue jeans, a light blue pullover shirt, and white athletic shoes. She is sitting on a chair next to the couch for her presentation and next to her chair is a table with a hot cup of coffee on it.

Bea:  I’m in our hotel room by myself. Bill and Iris are out walking around the hotel to get Iris some exercise. I’m here to talk about my upcoming match against Bobbie Dahl. Bobbie I’m not taking you lightly as you’ve accomplished a few things in the sport of wrestling. One of your accomplishments is to show how you can eat four times as much as everyone else at the all-you-can-eat buffet. There’s no doubt the owners of those all-you-can-eat buffet restaurants lose money when you eat there. Yeah, okay, I’m sure many watching are screaming at their televisions that I’m being insensitive to someone who is challenged by her immense weight. Nah! I’m not being insensitive to the fact you’re an inch shorter than me but carry 110 pounds more weight than I carry. Items such as blimp, whale, and Hippo, come to my mind but I won’t mention them as some might think I’m being insensitive about your weight problem again.

Bea reaches to the table next to her, picks up the cup of coffee, and takes a few sips.

Bea:  Ahhh! Love my coffee! Let me start by totally destroying the concept that a taller and heavier wrestler always has the advantage. Since I’m contracted to Sin City Wrestling I’m not allowed to mention names of wrestlers from other Federations but I can give clues who I’m talking about. In one of the most infamous wrestling federations one of the smallest wrestlers defeated one of the tallest and heaviest wrestlers in that federation. A very long time ago there was a wrestler out of Georgia who weighed in at 600 pounds and he often got defeated because his weight was not an asset but a liability. I could list dozens of large and heavy wrestlers who couldn’t get the job done due to dragging around too much weight. Bobbie let me try to give you a mental image of how we match up. I’m like a heavy duty pickup truck, with great suspension, a powerful engine, and I’m rated for hauling heavy payloads and a towing capacity to tow heavy items. You, on the other hand, are like a Smart Car that is trying to carry a ton of cargo. Damn! Like that will never happen even in your most vivid drug-induced dreams!

Bea lets out a sinister laugh then sips more coffee,

Bea:  So, Bobbie, every wrestler has something that causes them to get distracted during a wrestling match? With that in mind what distracts you during a wrestling match? A quick-moving opponent to your slow overweight waddling self? The fact that I’m stunning in my looks and body shape and when you go out for a walk, assuming you are able to carry so much weight further than from your front door to your mailbox, people have been known to call the Zoo to report an escaped Hippo. I’m sure it’ll be easy to distract you during our match. How you ask? All I have to do when we are wrestling is to pull out a chocolate bar and toss it on the mat and you’ll dive on it and nearly cause the ring to collapse in the process. Yeah, okay, I’m being sarcastic but rightly so. You may have been able to throw your weight around, although not very far as there is so much of it, with other wrestlers but you’re not going to get away with that with me. Always remember the classic saying that It isn’t the size of the dog in the fight. . .It is the size of the fight in the dog. I may be the smaller dog in our fight by reason of weight but I’m the dog with the biggest fight you have dealt with to date. I have no intention of losing a wrestling match to someone who even a weight loss center has turned away as being beyond help. I’ve proven myself to be dedicated to the sport of wrestling and at Climax Control 270 I’ll prove I’m better than you.

Bea’s cell phone rings and she excuses herself to take the call.

Bea:  Sorry but this call is from my husband Bill. He might be having an issue with Iris on their walk so I need to take the call. While I’m on the call some videos I gave to the broadcast studio, in case of a situation like this, will run and when I get back we’ll go live with my comments again.

A segment from Animal Planet runs and we see a Wolverine dragging a Deer carcass into the bushes to hide it so they can eat it later. The Wolverine walks off after hiding the Deer carcass. A short time later a Grizzly Bear walks into view and sniffs out the Deer carcass and starts to drag it off. In a flash the Wolverine runs into view and confronts the Grizzly Bear. You would think a huge Grizzly Bear would take one swipe at the Wolverine and totally annihilate the it but the Grizzly doesn’t do that. The Wolverine violently confronts the Grizzly bear and the Grizzly bear is intimidated and runs out of camera range while the victorious Wolverine snarls over their victory.

The next video is an underground video released by someone who was at dog fight event. One of the dogs in the fight is a good size Pit Bull mix and the other dog is half the size and looks to be a mixed breed but we cannot make out what it is mixed with. Everyone at this dog fight is betting on the larger dog and anyone watching will conclude the smaller dog will end up defeated. As the fight gets intense, and the crowd is cheering for the larger dog, the smaller dog slides under the larger dog and starts biting the sensitive areas of the other dog’s stomach and groin. When the larger dog reacts from the pain the smaller dog bites the legs of the other dog and then runs hard slamming into the larger dog knocking the larger dog over. The smaller dog latches onto the throat of the larger dog and the owner of the larger dog immediately calls off the fight admitting defeat. Both dogs survived this fight but the larger dog in the fight was never the same again after being defeated by a smaller opponent.

In the next video we see a Tarantula Hawk Wasp attacking a Tarantula. The Tarantula is about five times larger than the Tarantula Hawk Wasp. Although the larger Tarantula is aggressive in trying to fight off the Tarantula Hawk Wasp we see the Wasp has no fear of the Tarantula and repeatedly attacks it and paralyzes it. Then the Tarantula Hawk Wasp drags the paralyzed Tarantula to her nest and lays her eggs on the Tarantula. When the baby Tarantula Hawk Wasps hatch they dine on the paralyzed Tarantula proving, once again, that just because you are bigger than your opponent doesn’t mean you’ll win the battle.

The next video shows a high powered motorcycle meant for racing and next to it is a Moped. The person before them drops the flag and both take off with the motorcycle taking a commanding lead and reaching the finish line quickly. It takes several minutes before the Moped manages to limp across the finish line.

Bea’s phone call with Bill is done and she returns into camera view.

Bea:  Thanks for watching the videos while I talked with Bill. He didn’t have a problem with Iris. He just wanted to let me know they’ll have food delivered to the hotel room and he wanted to know what I wanted. I’d like to talk about those videos you watched and see how they relate to my match with Bobby Dahl.

Bea holds up one finger to indicate she will compare the first video to her match against Bobbie Dahl.

Bea:  The first video pitted a Wolverine against a Grizzly Bear in a dispute over a Deer carcass that belonged to the Wolverine. When the Wolverine saw the Grizzly Bear stealing the Deer carcass the Wolverine went on the attack. When you consider that a Wolverine weighs about thirty to forty pounds and and Grizzly Bear weighs about three hundred fifty pounds, the assumption is with one swipe of their paw the Grizzly Bear could have won the fight. However proving the saying that it isn’t the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog the Wolverine kicked the ass of the Grizzly Bear that was ten times the weight and size and it won the fight over the larger opponent. That’s how I’ll win our match Bobbie. You’re like that Grizzly Bear who thought because they were larger than their opponent they had an easy win. Tell that to the Grizzly Bear that quickly backed down to the Wolverine after the Wolverine kicked their ass.

Bea holds up two fingers to indicate she will compare the second video to her match with Bobbie Dahl.

Bea:  Thankfully in the dog fight video a lot of it was blurred out as I cannot stand to watch violence perpetrated on animals. Enough of the action was not blurred out to prove that the smaller dog in that fight had more fight in them than the larger dog in the fight. Bobbie I hope you’ll still have enough sense to submit and end the match quickly when I disable you and go in for the finish. If you remain defiant and refuse to submit to me then any damage you receive is on your shoulders. I may be the smaller opponent in this match in the weight category but like that smaller dog in the dog fight I have more fight in me than you’ll ever have.

Bea holds up three fingers to indicate she will compare the third video to her match against Bobbie Dahl.

Bea:  Everyone will admit that a Tarantula is an aggressive, dangerous, and successful predator. But, alas, as large as a Tarantula is a smaller creature came along and kicked the Tarantula’s ass. I’m talking about the incident between a Tarantula Hawk Wasp and a Tarantula from the video. Even though the Tarantula was at least five times larger than the Tarantula Hawk Wasp the Wasp was more agile, more aggressive, totally aware of what the Tarantula was doing, or trying to do, and in the end the Tarantula Hawk Wasp stung the Tarantula and paralyzed it. After that it dragged the Tarantula into a hole, laid her eggs on it, and when the babies hatched they dined on the paralyzed Tarantula which was helpless to prevent the assault. Bobbie I’m the Tarantula Hawk Wasp to your Tarantula. I’ll dazzle you, amaze you, out-maneuver you, and stun you into submission.

Bea holds up four fingers to indicate she will compare the fourth video to her match with Bobbie Dahl.

Bea:  So, Bobbie, I hope you enjoyed the video of a Moped trying to out-race a high performance motorcycle. That’s a perfect depiction of us for our match. I’m a high performance wrestling machine and you’re a pathetic moped trying to keep up. When you crash and burn in our match are you going to do a Pee Wee Herman impersonation? You know the one I’m talking about so don’t act stupid. Then again maybe you’re not acting? The scene is from the movie Pee Wee’s Big Adventure where Pee Wee Herman was riding his Moped and wanted to show off to the kids watching him. He wasn’t watching what he was doing and his Moped crashed into the curb and Pee Wee went flying and did a face plant in the grass. He then stood up, looked at the kids, and uttered I MEANT TO DO THAT! and the kids, realizing Pee Wee is a fool, laughed at him. That, Miss Dahl, is the best representation of the two of us in our match. I’m going off the the starting line full speed while you putt along like a pathetic Moped. After I win you’ll still be dragging your fat ass toward the finish line only to realize you lost the match to me five minutes ago. Then when the Referee informs you that you lost you’ll utter the famous Pee Wee Herman line I MEANT TO DO THAT! To which I’ll reply to you concerning my sound defeat of you in our match that I MEANT TO DEFEAT YOU!  The fans will laugh at you and ridicule you for your incompetence like those kids laughed at and ridiculed Pee Wee Herman for his incompetence.

Bea informs the cameraman she is going to make closing comments so he calls into the Network to let them know as soon as Bea is done with closing comments he will cut his camera feed.

Bea:  I wish to inform you, Bobbie, that although you’re a large person that you being obese doesn’t make you a better wrestler. It obviously makes you a better eater though. All kidding aside being larger than me doesn’t mean you are better than me. Being an inch shorter than me but carrying a hundred and ten pounds more weight than I do is a major factor working against you. I’ve proven to be a great wrestler and most of my wins were by submission. The biggest advantage a wrestler can have is to have opponents that allow themselves to get distracted. How could I see you getting distracted? As I mentioned earlier in my presentation I feel it would be hilarious for me to toss a chocolate bar across the ring and watch you get distracted and dive on top of it. Or how about if they have a roving food vendor selling hotdogs and sodas calling out GET YOUR HOT DOGS HERE! SODA! ICE COLD SODA!  Without a doubt that would get your attention and I’ll take advantage of your distraction. The saying goes that you are what you eat. With that in mind that means you are a combination of Twinkies, cupcakes, ice cream, candy bars, chocolate, and soda. Honestly, Bobbie, I’d ask you to admit that you’re in over your head in our match but I don’t expect you to be honest and admit you know you’ll lose to me. That’s okay Bobbie. Not everyone is as truthful and honest as I am.

Bea snorts out a laugh.

Bea:  I feel I’ve laid down the law, explained the truth to you, let you know that I’m superior to you, so I’ll make my final comments so you can run to the store and buy some comfort chocolate to stuff yourself with. Here’s the way I see our match Bobbie. You cannot escape me. You could roll out of the ring but for sure carrying so much weight it would take you longer than the Referee’s ten count before you could get back into the ring so you would be counted out. For sure you can’t move fast enough to prevent me from applying holds and executing moves on you. However there is one possible way you might be able to escape me long enough to remain viable in our match for a few minutes longer. Considering the massive amounts of junk food you must be eating to maintain your immense weight perhaps if, during our match, you are profusely sweating, that slimy sweat may be enough to keep me from properly applying maneuvers and holds on you. Bobbie I hope you enjoy your freedom leading up to Climax Control 270 because when our match takes place on Sunday, May 24, 2020, you‘ll no longer have your freedom as you’ll be a captive of my superior wrestling abilities.

The moment Bea is done with her closing comments the cameraman cuts his camera feed and the Network switches to regularly scheduled programming.


112
Climax Control Archives / Welcome to Bill Barnhart's School of Hard Knocks
« on: May 06, 2020, 10:08:16 AM »
 SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS

Narrator:  Welcome to the School Of Hard Knocks managed by Bill Barnhart.

>

ON CAMERA

A sign pops up on our television screen showing BILL BARNHART”S SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS. The sign stays up for 30 seconds before the scene switches to a mock up of a classroom that is set up next to the wrestling ring in the GO Gym in Las Vegas, Nevada. Bill looks into the camera and presents his comments.

Bill:  Dustin welcome to the Bill Barnhart School of Hard Knocks. I’m Bill Barnhart and I’ll give you a hard knocks education. You’ll step into the wrestling ring against me and you’ll be schooled in the fine art of wrestling. When our match is over, and I’ve beaten you to a pulp, that’s when you’ll have earned enough hard knocks to receive your Diploma of Graduation from my School of Hard Knocks.

A man walks into the scene and we are wondering who that person is.

Attorney Mel Hewitt:  Hi Mister Barnhart. I’m Attorney Mel Hewitt from Atlanta, Georgia. I’d like to know if you wish to sue those in Sin City Wrestling who have cheated you out of wins in wrestling matches due to violating the rules, cheating, or interference?

Bill:  Before I answer your question will you answer a question for me?

Attorney Mel Hewitt:  Sure.

Bill:  What’s the difference between a Catfish and an Attorney?

Attorney Mel Hewitt:  I don’t know. What’s the difference between a Catfish and an Attorney?

Bill:  One is a bottom dwelling, scum sucking, garbage eater. The other is a fish!

Attorney Hewitt is not amused by that joke.

Attorney Mel Hewitt:  Not funny Mister Barnhart. Do you wish to sue anyone or not?

Bill:  No I don’t want to sue anyone. However since I didn’t contact you to confront me with your services please get the hell away from me or I’ll sue you for violating my personal space!

Attorney Hewitt is speechless as he turns and leaves the facility.

Bill:  My next match, at Climax Control 268, is a Mixed Tag Team match where I’m teamed with my partner and wife Bea going up against the team of Dustin Holt and his loser daughter Violet Amelia Holt. I say loser daughter as she lost to Bea twice and both by submission.

A smile comes on the face of Barnhart.

Bill:  Dustin I know of you and I know you have a long wrestling career. I know you can get the job done against most wrestlers but you can’t get the job done against me. What I would love to see in our match is it come down to Bea and Violet as the legal wrestlers in the ring so Bea can issue a third devastating loss to Violet. However if it happens to come down to me and you as the legal wrestlers in the ring I’ll enjoy defeating you. A win over a Holt is still a win over a Holt. By the time I get done with you it will feel as though someone whacked you over the head with a wooden mallet.

Bill gives a thumbs up into the camera. And then he motions to the camera that his comments are over and the cameraman cuts his feed at the Network cuts to a commercial break.

OFF CAMERA

A shot of the room of Bill and Bea Barnhart at the Saxon Hotel comes on our screen. We see Bill reclining on the couch watching the television show Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Bill is in near uncontrollable laughter as he enjoys the humor of the Monty Python comedy team. Iris is annoyed as she is trying to get beauty sleep and for sure we know as homely as she is she needs all the beauty sleep she can get. Bea is sitting on a chair next to the couch where Bill is located. We see Bill drift off to sleep. As Monty Python’s Argument skit comes on the television it translates into Bill’s dream and…

INSIDE BILL’S DREAM

Bill is dreaming that he is the man in the Monty Python Argument skit who goes to a business to have an argument.

We see Bill Barnhart walk into an office and greet the receptionist.

Bill:  I'd like to have an argument, please.

Receptionist:  Certainly sir. Have you been here before?

Bill:  No, I haven't, this is my first time.

Receptionist:  I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?

Bill:  Well, what is the cost?

Receptionist:  Well, It's five dollars for a five minute argument, but only twenty dollars for a course of ten.

Bill:  Well, I think it would be best if I perhaps started off with just the one and then see how it goes.

Receptionist:  Fine. Well, I'll see who's free at the moment.

(Pause)

Receptionist:  Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory. Ahh yes, Try the Instructor in room 12.

Bill:  Thank you.

Bill walks down the hall, looks at the room number, opens the door, and walks into the room

Instructor:  WHAT DO YOU WANT???

Bill:  Well, I was told outside that...

Instructor:  Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!

Bill:  What?

Instructor:  Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke! You vacuous, coffee-nosed, malodorous, pervert!!!

Bill:  Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT! I'm not going to just stand…

Instructor:  OH, oh I'm sorry, but this course is Abuse.

Bill:  Oh, I see, well, that explains it.

Instructor:  Ah yes, you want room 12-A, Just along the corridor.

Bill:  Oh, Thank you very much. Sorry.

Instructor:  Not at all.

Bill:  Thank You. (under his breath - Stupid git!!)

Bill walks down the corridor to room 12-A and he knocks on the door.

Instructor:  Come in!

Bill:  Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?

Instructor:  I told you once.

Bill:  No you haven't.

Instructor:  Yes I have.

Bill:  When?

Instructor:  Just now.

Bill:  No you didn't.

Instructor:  Yes I did.

Bill:  You didn't.

Instructor:  I did!

Bill:  You didn't!

Instructor:  I'm telling you I did!

Bill:  You did not!!

Instructor:  Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?

Bill:  Oh, just the five minutes.

Instructor:  Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.

Bill: You most certainly did not.

Instructor:  Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.

Bill:  No you did not.

Instructor:  Yes I did.

Bill:  No you didn't.

Instructor:  Yes I did.

Bill:  No you didn't.

Instructor:  Yes I did.

Bill:  No you didn't.

Instructor:  Yes I did.

Bill:  You didn't.

Instructor:  Did.

Bill:  Oh look, this isn't an argument.

Instructor:  Yes it is.

Bill:  No it isn't. It's just contradiction.

Instructor:  No it isn't.

Bill:  It is!

Instructor:  It is not.

Bill:  Look, you just contradicted me.

Instructor:  I did not.

Bill:  Oh you did!!

Instructor:  No, no, no.

Bill:  You did just then.

Instructor:  Nonsense!

Bill:  Oh, this is futile!

Instructor:  No it isn't.

Bill:  I came here for a good argument.

Instructor:  No you didn't. No, you came here for an argument.

Bill:  An argument isn't just contradiction.

Instructor:  It can be.

Bill:  No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.

Instructor:  No it isn't.

Bill:  Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.

Instructor:  Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.

Bill:  Yes, but that's not just saying “No it isn’t”  

Instructor:  Yes it is!

Bill:  No it isn't! An argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.

(short pause)

Instructor:  No it isn't.

Bill:  It is.

Instructor:  Not at all.

Bill:  Now look…

Instructor:  (Rings bell) Good Morning!

Bill:  What?

Instructor:  That's it. Good morning.

Bill:  I was just getting interested.

Instructor:  Sorry, the five minutes is up.

Bill:  That was never five minutes!

Instructor:  I'm afraid it was.

Bill:  It wasn't.

(Pause)

Instructor:  I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.

Bill:  What?

Instructor:  If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.

Bill:  Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh come on!

Instructor:  *Hums*

Bill:  Look, this is ridiculous!

Instructor:  I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!

Bill:  Man: Oh, all right. (pays money)

Instructor: Thank you.

(short pause)

Bill:  Well?

Instructor:  Well what?

Bill:  That wasn't really five minutes just now.

Instructor:  I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.

Bill:  I just paid!

Instructor:  No you didn't.

Bill:  I DID!!!

Instructor:  No you didn't.

Bill:  Look, I don't want to argue about that.

Instructor:  Well, you didn't pay.

Bill:  Aha! If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!

Instructor:  No you haven't.

Bill:  Yes I have! If you're arguing, I must have paid!

Instructor:  Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.

Bill:  Oh I've had enough of this!!!

Instructor:  No you haven't.

Bill:  Oh shut up!

Bill walks out of the office, down the stairs, and opens a door that has a sign on it that says COMPLAINTS

Bill:  I want to complain!

Complainer:  You want to complain? Look at these shoes! I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through!

Bill:  No, I want to complain about...

Complainer:  If you complain nothing happens! You might as well not bother!

Bill:  Oh!

Complainer:  Oh my back hurts! It's not a very fine day! And I'm sick and tired of this office!

Bill walks out and slams the door shut. He walks down the hallway and opens the door and walks into the room.

Bill:  Hello, I want to... *instructor in room whacks Bill on the head with a wooden mallet* Ooooh!

Instructor:  No, no, no! Hold your head like this, then go Waaah! Try it again!

Instructor hits Bill on the head again with the wooden mallet.

Bill:  Uuuwwhh!!

Instructor:  Better, better, but Waaah! Waaah!!! Put your hand there (instructor points to Bill’s head).

Bill:  No!!!

Instructor:  Now… (instructor swings wooden mallet again whacking Bill very hard on his head).

Bill:  Waaaaah!!!

Instructor:  Good! Good!! That's it!!!

Bill:  Stop hitting me!!!

Instructor:  What?

Bill:  Stop hitting me!!!

Instructor:  Stop hitting you?

Bill:  Yes!!!

Instructor:  Why did you come in here then?

Bill:  I wanted to complain!

Instructor:  Oh no, that's next door! It's being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here!

Bill:  What a stupid concept!

Bill is startled awake when Bea wakes him up from his sleep. Bill realizes he was dreaming he was in the Monty Python Argument skit.

Bill:  Wow! I dreamed I was in the Monty Python Argument skit. Glad it was just a dream.

ON CAMERA

The scene comes into focus on our screen. We see Bill Barnhart standing in front of the wrestling ring at the GO Gym in Las Vegas, Nevada. When the cameraman gives him the signal Bill launches into his comments for this part of his presentation.

Bill:  The first item I wish to discuss are complaints I’ve received on why I haven’t bragged about defeating Kris Ryans at Climax Control 266. They figured since when that win grabbed the attention of Management and they said that at Into The Void IX I’ll face whoever is the Internet Champion for a shot at the Championship they figured I should be bragging about it. Why am I not bragging about defeating Kris Ryans? Because he’s an accomplished wrestler in Sin City Wrestling and a damn good Champion when he held Championships. He had an off night and that’s not something I need to brag about. The fact that my win over Ryans earned me a shot at the Internet Championship is enough of a reward for me. How do I feel if Austin James Mercer is still Internet Champion when Into The Void IX takes place and I get my shot at the Internet Championship at that event? He defeated Fenris, for the Heavyweight Championship, which is a nearly impossible thing for any wrestler to accomplish. Austin held the Championship for five months then lost it to Senor Vinnie. Mercer then won a six-way Ladder Match to earn the Internet Championship. It would be a pleasure to face off against Austin James Mercer but I’ll gladly face whoever the Internet Champion happens to be when Into The Void IX arrives.

Bill points to the wrestling ring he is standing next to.

Bill:  This is the wrestling ring where me and Bea face off against Violet Amelia Holt and Dustin Holt in a Mixed Tax Team match at Climax Control 268. Bea already has the distinction of defeating Violet twice by submission and she’s looking for a third win over Violet. I appreciate Bea being aggressive and positive but she also knows that in a Mixed Tag Team match the match can change quickly if one of the two wrestlers legally in the ring can tag their partner in. Since the rules of this type of match is men against men and women against women once one of the legal wrestlers tags out the other legal wrestler must also leave the ring and allow their partner into the ring.

Bill walks around the ring to the side where the table is located where the announcers will call the match.

Bill: This is the table where the announcers, Jason Adams and Belinda Simone, will call the action of our match. This wrestling ring is where Justin Decent will announce the win of our team gets over Dustin and Violet. After our victory in this Mixed Tax Team match it will be a pleasure to replay this match over and over again to enjoy our victory numerous times.

Bill walks around the ring and returns to the spot in front of the ring where we first saw him when his presentation started.

Bill:  Dustin I’m gonna enjoy being in the ring with you. I know some of what you have accomplished in the past and I’ll enjoy taking you down and walking away the winner. I know you’re a very protective father to Violet as I’m a protective daddy to my English Bulldog Iris. Just as I don’t want to see Iris suffer I know you don’t want to see Violet suffer. But, Dustin, I have to ask you a very important question. Is your protection mode concerning your daughter more important to you than obeying the rules in our match? When Bea is beating down Violet will your emotions take over causing you to violate the rules and your team will be Disqualified? I’ll gladly take a Disqualification win over you and Violet if that’s the way you two want to play it. Can you control your urges to protect your little girl from the assaults of Bea? Those are damn tough questions, Dustin, so what are your answers? My suggestion is that you focus on the action in the ring but you don’t get physically involved until you are tagged in by Violet or Bea tags me in which brings you into the ring with me. When Bea is in the ring against Violet, regardless of what legally happens, I don’t get involved. However if Violet violates the rules and cheats then you damn sure know I’ll take action to stop it.

The cameraman gets an extreme close-up of Bill’s face and Bill gives a stern look into the camera.

Bill:  Dustin will you and Violet stay involved in the match until they announce us as the winners of the match or will you decide that getting Disqualified is the only way you can get out of the match without too much physical injury placed on you by us? I don’t want our match to be soiled by you two breaking the rules but if that’s where you want to take this match then you have to suffer the consequences. See you two on Sunday, May 10, 2020, at the GO Gym at Climax Control 268. Bye!

The cameraman backs off the extreme close-up on Bill and we watch as Bill waves BYE into the camera. The cameraman places his camera into a slow fade to black and when the screen goes dark the Network returns to regularly scheduled programming for this time slot.


113
Climax Control Archives / You Want To Try To Bully Me? I Don't Think So!
« on: May 06, 2020, 10:04:37 AM »
 BULLIED

Narrator:  You know Bea Barnhart is beautiful, intelligent, very confident, and she doesn’t take crap from anyone. Has Bea always been this confident and sure of herself?

OFF CAMERA

Although Bea Barnhart grew up in the suburbs of Manila in the Philippines her family did not live in the actual city of Manila. They were not well off financially so they had to live in what we in the United States would call a low-income district. Bea had to attend school where a specific uniform was required to be worn. Most of the students, due to being in financially well off families, had several school uniforms to wear so they could switch them out and always have a neat clean sharp uniform to wear. Bea, on the other hand, had only one school uniform and she had to keep it in good condition, as best she could, because if it got damaged her family could not immediately afford to purchase a new uniform for her and it would take her mother days to sew a new one. Bea’s mother tried to work ahead on making a new uniform outfit for Bea but sometimes Bea has to deal with just one uniform. With all the patches and stitching Bea had to put into her tattered school uniform the mean girls in school called Bea a RAG DOLL and this taunting, teasing, and bullying took a toll on the emotions of Bea especially when the mean girls also launched into the song RAG DOLL by Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons.

ON CAMERA

Bea Barnhart comes on our screen and she’s in a dining area in the Saxon Hotel where they are staying leading up to Climax Control 268. She’s ordering food to take back to their room. We notice she’s dressed in her trademark blue dress she normally wears to Bill’s matches when serving as his Manager.

Bea:  Thank you for joining me to hear what I have to say about my upcoming match on Sunday, May 10, 2020, at Climax Control 268. I’m assigned to a Mixed Tag Team match teaming with my husband, Bill Barnhart, against the father-daughter team of Dustin Holt and Violet Amelia Holt. Violet this should be an interesting match, but your daddy is not going to be able to protect you while we are the legal wrestlers in the ring.

Bea orders the food she wants for her, Bill, and Iris, and pays for the food. The dining facility worker packages the food and hands it to Bea.

Bea:  Recently my husband, Bill, talked about the bullying he went through when he was a kid growing up in Oakland. He also highlighted the history of dealing with his abusive half-brother Chris Shipman. Bill dealt with his bullies with force but when I got bullied I dealt with the bullies with intelligence, dignity, and style. With this upcoming match, as with all my matches since I became a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling, my opponents tried to bully and intimidate me to give up and walk away. Nah! That didn’t work on me, it never has, and the attempting bullying and intimidation by you, Violet, failed to affect me just as everyone else has failed before you. I went through lots of bullying when I was a school girl in the Philippines. Most of the time I ignored them and sometimes I took action to diffuse the lame girls that had to bully others to get attention. When I entered High School the mean girls stopped bothering me because they realized I was smarter than them, more attractive than them, and all the good-looking boys chased me which left the ugly homely ogres  and trolls to chase them.

Bea is happy she is able to purchase food she knows Bill and Iris will enjoy and a smile comes on her face.

Bea:  You would think that distancing myself from those mean girls, by being one of the most popular girls in High School, would have been the end of the situation but it wasn’t. I graduated from High School and immediately went on to attend College in the Philippines and it was right after the graduation ceremony that I got married to Bill. Guess what I did. Oh, come on, take a guess! Since most of you are low I.Q. dimwits I could give you a year and you wouldn’t guess correctly. To save you the anguish of overloading, and burning out, what few remaining working brain cells you have, I’ll tell you what I did. I made sure to invite every mean girl bully who abused me to both my graduation ceremony from college and my wedding with Bill. Of course you wonder why I did that and you have the right to want to know. It comes down to the fact that I was the only person from the High School who attended college and graduated while the mean girls couldn’t even get a job as a maid in a hotel or a server in a fast-food restaurant. And my marriage to Bill? They knew they would never marry someone as great, handsome, and awesome as Bill and they knew they would never have the chance to immigrate to the United States. That’s why I invited them so they will spend the rest of their pathetic lives wondering why they made such an effort trying to bully and intimidate me. For me to do and accomplish things they could never do and accomplish is the best form of punishment I could offer them for their mean behavior toward me.

Bea turns and walks out of the dining facility while the cameraman keeps up with her.

Bea:  Before I launch into comments for Violet Amelia Holt who is my next opponent, and Dustin Holt her doting and over-protective daddy who is teamed with her in our Mixed Tag Team match, I wish to comment on Candy and the Bombshell Roulette Championship match we had at Blaze of Glory VIII. Candy you and the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling thought I was a joke. You thought I was an easy mark. You expected that because I am a newcomer at being a wrestler it would make me easy for you to defeat. Candy I saw the look of shock on your face during our match and that look screamed out that you knew you were going to lose to me if you didn’t step up your game. You didn’t lose because after both of us beat the hell out of each other you picked yourself up and managed to grab the Championship and retained it with a successful defense against me. There was no cheating. There was nothing but stuff totally within the rules of a Ladder Match. Do I feel bad that I lost? I wouldn’t say I feel bad that I didn’t win but of course I wanted the win and become the Bombshell Roulette Champion that night. But you came out on top and I commend you for your accomplishment. You did what I expect a Champion to do and that is to never give up until the Referee calls for the bell to end the match. Congratulations on the win, and retaining the Bombshell Roulette Championship, and I hope we get to meet in the wrestling ring again soon.

Bea continues walking down the hallway to the place where she is meeting up with Bill and Iris.

Bea:  While I was wrestling Candy in the Ladder Match for the Bombshell Roulette Championship I heard the other Bombshells in the crowd cheering Candy on while disrespecting me. With that in mind I issue an open challenge to all of you who were obviously paid off to cheer for Candy. So here’s the challenge. If you mean girls in Sin City Wrestling want to insult me, disrespect me, hurl vile stuff my way, and try to bully me, then you damn sure better be ready for me to kick the silicone implants out of your asses and chests in retaliation. Although you tried to distract me in my Championship match against Candy at Blaze of Glory VIII you were unsuccessful. I never backed down in that match and if any of you are froggy and want to jump then put your signature on a contract to wrestle me so I can serve up frog legs for dinner.

Bea meets Bill and Iris in the lobby area. The three then head for their room. When they arrive at their room they are met by Sin City Wrestling interviewer “Stoner” Scott Oliver who is there to interview Bea for her upcoming match. The four walk into the room and Bea sets out the food at the dining table and they start eating.

Scott:  That was nice of you to commend Candy for her performance in the Bombshell Roulette Championship match. Most wrestlers who lose a match like that whine and complain. It shows a mark of maturity and intelligence for a competitor to commend others on their work.

Bea:  That’s what separates me from the other Bombshells in Sin City Wrestling. I’m a professional and whether I win or lose if I have an opponent who doesn’t cheat, and doesn’t have interference in a match, I’ll commend them on their work. If they cheat or hire interference then I’ll call them out for being pond scum.

Scott:  Bill how do you feel about Bea’s match against Candy at Blaze of Glory VIII?

Bill:  Bea will do great as she always does. She’s passionate about her work in wrestling.

Bea excuses herself as she needs to use the bathroom which is located in a room off the bedroom. Bea walks into the bedroom while Bill and Scott remain at the table and on camera to eat their food. A short time later…

Bea:  Bill! Come here quickly! I need you! Ohhhhh!!!

Scott and Bill look at each other and wonder what’s going on in the bedroom and bathroom with Bea. Bill shrugs his shoulders and excuses himself to run into the bedroom area to find out what’s going on while the camera remains on Scott Oliver. We cannot see what’s going on but we can hear the conversation between Bea and Bill from the bedroom area.

Bea:  Thank goodness you’re here! I couldn’t wait any longer! I need you now!

Bill:  Couldn’t this wait? You’re in the middle of an interview with Scott Oliver and we could have done this later!

Bea:  No! This has to get done now! Get it inside and push hard!

Bill:  Okay! Okay! But I feel bad Scott has to wait for us sitting at the table with lots of food and with Iris staring at him eating.

Bea:  You need to push harder! Let’s get this done!

Bill:  I’m pushing hard!

Bea:  Start pushing harder or I’ll have to call someone from Hotel Management to get someone in here who can get the job done!

Bill:  Damn! Okay here goes! *grunt* *sigh* *moan*

Bea:  *sigh* *grunt* *yeah* *moan* That’s it!

Scott has a shocked look on his face but he remains in the room as his job is to finish his interviews.

Bea:  Yes yes yes!!! Go go go!!! Yes yes yes!!!

Bill:  It’s gonna come any moment!!!

Bea:  YAY!!!!!

Bill:  YAY!!!!!

There’s an uncomfortable moment of silence then Scott hears Bill and Bea coming out of the bedroom and what he sees isn’t what he was expecting to see. What Scott sees, and the cameraman gets a shot of, is Bill and Bea looking tired and sweaty and holding a toilet plunger.

>

Bea:  Sorry for the disruption of our interview and taking air time away from you. The toilet got clogged up and I needed Bill to come and assist me in getting the clog to come out.

Bill:  I tried it by myself but that toilet was really clogged. Finally both of us had to grab the plunger and push as hard as we could until the clog came out. We didn’t want to bother Hotel Management if we could resolve it on our own.

Scott:  Seeing you two with the plunger eliminated what I thought was was happening with you two. To be honest with all that moaning and groaning I thought something else was taking place.

Bea:  Scott please tell me you didn’t think me and Bill were doing the…

Scott:  Yes I did and now that I know the truth I apologize. With you two out of view, and all I heard were the comments and noises you made, it was an honest assumption.

Bea, Bill, and Scott enjoy a rowdy laugh over the incident. Iris, however, is upset nobody has been giving her food so she walks up and head butts Daddy Bill in the knees.

Bill:  Ouch! Iris! Geez! I know you want food but head butting me in the knees is not the way to get what you want!

Bill loads up a bowl of food for Iris and places it on the floor. The way Iris is gobbling her food you would think she hasn’t eaten for a week but in reality she ate a few hours ago. Scott continues his interview with Bea.

Scott:  The heat has been building between you and Violet for some time. Now you face her again but this time she is teamed with her father. What would you like to say to Violet?

Bea:  Violet you can’t deny that we met twice in the wrestling ring and I defeated you twice by submission. You reacted as I expected you would and that was to turn on the mean girl attitude and hurl insults and threats at me. You’ll pay dearly for trying to bully and intimidate me. The only way you can avoid directly losing to me is if you’re able to tag out to your father and Dustin ends up in the ring with Bill. But, Violet, if you fail to tag out to your daddy then I’ll defeat you for the third time in our third match. I may not make you submit again but without a doubt if we are the legal wrestlers in the ring the victory is mine.

Scott:  Bea our air time is nearly expired. Any closing comments to Violet, or anyone else on the Roster, before we end this interview?

Bea:  Violet you and other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling claim to be as sure as the Sun rises in the East sets in the West. when it comes to your wrestling. If you, and others, had any working brain cells you would know your saying is bullshit. The Sun does not move around the Earth to rise in the East the set in the West. The Sun is relatively stable in the Solar System and it is the Earth that orbits around the Sun and at the same time the Earth rotates on its axis. The reason the Sun appears to rise in the East and set in the West is due to the rotation of the Earth and not the movement of the Sun. You are one of the typical set-in-place, do nothing, accomplish nothing, wrestlers who appear to do things when in fact you are just standing there doing nothing. I’m like the Earth that is in constant motion, both in orbiting around the Sun and rotating on its axis. I’m the one who will run circles around you. When I defeat you it will not be like the Sun that appears to rise in the East and set in the West. Nope! The defeat you take against me is real and not imaginary.

Scott:  Thanks for your time in granting me this interview. I wish you the best of luck in your Mixed Tag Team match against Violet Amelia Holt and Dustin Holt.

Bea:  Thanks, Scott, but there is no luck involved as it is pure skill on my part.

Scott gives the signal to the cameraman that his interview with Bea is done and the cameraman cuts his feed and the screen goes black.


114
Climax Control Archives / AGGRESSIVE
« on: April 24, 2020, 04:08:14 PM »
 AGGRESSIVE

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is an aggressive wrestler but how aggressive can he get and what are the reason, or reasons, behind him becoming more aggressive? Once you hear his story you will understand and never doubt him again. To use a catchphrase from a well known tabloid ENQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!

OFF CAMERA

BULLIES IN SCHOOL   

We are taken back 25 years to Oakland, California. Bill’s parents lived in a house at 4263 Saint Andrews Road in Oakland. William Barnhart, Bill Barnhart’s father, was a Master Chief Petty Officer in the United States Navy stationed at the Naval Air Station in Alameda, California. At this point in time Bill Barnhart was 11 years old and about to graduate from Elementary School to Middle School. Bill received a lot of teasing and bullying due to having a father who served in the Military as that wasn’t a common thing in those days.

>

Bill Barnhart:  Under Category 5 you see hurricanes in this category have winds of 157 miles per hour and higher. After the crap I went through against my half-brother Chris Shipman, I’m so far beyond a Category 5 hurricane level that the chart cannot measure my intensity. Kris if you think I’m gonna back down against you in our match you’re wrong! If you think you can hurt me and destroy me and get a win over me you’re wrong! If you think your threats and bragging comments are gonna make me back down you’re wrong. Let me put it this way Ryans. In order for you to defeat me in our match you would have to be the luckiest person in the Universe. How lucky would you have to be? In order to defeat me you would have to be so damn lucky that you could win the Lottery, capture a Leprechaun, get struck by lightning and survive, capture a Genie in a bottle and get your three wishes granted, and find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, at the same time, every day for a week. Not a chance in Hell that will happen! The only luck you will face is the bad luck of having to face me at Climax Control 266. You’ve been warned!

Bill takes a break to pull out a can of Classic Coke. He drinks it, crushes the can, then tosses the can across the room where it lands cleanly in a small trash can.

Bill:  Kris you’re probably assuming I think you are a joke of a wrestler, you are not talented, and I feel you’re a waste of my time. Nah! I don’t think any of that. I did research and I see you held the Heavyweight Championship for approximately 190 days. I see you also held the Roulette Championship twice with one run at nearly 170 days and the other at around 90 days. I also heard you vacated the Heavyweight Championship due to an injury, that you lost one of the Roulette Championships to another wrestler, and the second Roulette Championship you had to vacate as it was directed by Sin City Wrestling Management. To use round numbers, as I don’t really like odd numbers, that means you held three Championships for a total of approximately 450 days. Hell, Kris, using the number 450 I will state that you’re not likely to delay me defeating you in our upcoming match for 450 seconds. And since you are probably not into Math that 450 seconds equates to approximately 7.5 minutes. Please laugh yourself silly now Kris because you damn sure won’t be laughing when I walk away from our match as the winner where you don’t last long in our match.

Bill shuffles the papers concerning dealings with his half-brother Chris Shipman then places the stack of papers to the side of the table.

Bill:  There’s more to our match than my superior wrestling skills and you praying you’ll be so damn lucky that you can last longer than 7.5 minutes with me before you lose the match. Several years ago Doctor Kim, my family doctor, taught me how to keep my inner demon under control and to unleash it only when I say, keep it fully under my control, then return my inner demon inside of me and under my control when I am done utilizing it. Recently, here in Sin City Wrestling, I’ve had to endure opponents who were jerks, assholes, aggressive, and cheating, and I finally had enough. After Blaze of Glory VIII there was a decision I needed to make. That decision was whether I would continue with Doctor Kim’s suggestions on how to keep my inner demon under control or to step back on the controls and let the inner demon come out whenever it wanted to. Now, Ryans, it comes down to some basic items. I’ll allow the inner demon to come out. I’ll allow the inner demon to dominate to where I destroy opponent after opponent until nobody is left standing. I’ll send the inner demon back into confinement inside of me when I’m done. No, Kris, the inner demon does not have total control over me. I have total control over the inner demon. I have the control to allow the aggressiveness to dominate to where I can inflict a hell of a lot of punishment and damage on opponents all within the rules of the match. How is that you ask? I’ll explain it to you.

Bill pulls out another can of Classic Coke and downs it and again tosses it across the room where it lands cleanly in the small trash can.

Bill:  Here’s how I inflict pain and suffering on opponents, utilizing my wrestling skills and the energy of my inner demon, without violating the rules of the match. When I use my Barnhart Shoulder Breaker Flying Hammer Lock there’s a lot of pressure applied to the arm and shoulder of my opponent. If my opponent is smart, which most are not, they’ll submit and I release the hold and they don’t suffer too much pain or damage. But if my opponent refuses to give up, or the Referee is slow to call the match in my favor, the extreme pressure on their arm and shoulder can result in a broken arm, dislocated shoulder, or both. With my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold I apply pressure to the neck and head of my opponent. If my opponent is smart, which most are not, they’ll submit before they go unconscious. If they refuse to submit, or if the Referee is slow to call the match in my favor, then my opponent will suffer from lack of oxygen and suffer damage that might leave them dizzy and disoriented for hours, days, or weeks. Same with my Figure-Four Leg Lock. Lots of pressure on the opponent’s legs and knees and if they refuse to submit. . . well that’s their fault.

A general smile comes on Bill’s face.

Bill:  There’s a problem with wrestlers like you Kris. You obtained Championships three times and suddenly you have an ego larger than the State of Texas. *YAWN* Earning three Championships is old news these days, and nothing worth bragging about, when there are Grand Slams and Five Star Champion status to achieve. You, and others, brag you’ve held Championships in Sin City Wrestling three times? When I was in Asylum Wrestling Alliance I was there 8 years and I became a multiple-time Triple Crown achiever and a two-time Grand Slam achiever. I was achieving those goals so often people got bored. So Management created a special new Championship so that wrestlers who have obtained the four previous Championships to obtain the Grand Slam can then obtain the new special Championship they created, called the Five Star Championship. I wasn’t able to obtain the Five Star Champion award only because Asylum Wrestling Alliance decided to close their doors shortly after creating the fifth Championship and I was not assigned to a match for that newly created Championship. So brag if you want about your three Championships but your achievement falls short of what I accomplished in Asylum Wrestling Alliance and what I will accomplish here in Sin City Wrestling.

A larger smile comes on the face of Bill.

Bill:  Kris I come into our match at 6 feet 4 inches and 240 pounds and you come into our match at 5 feet 11 inches and 195 pounds. Although height and weight in a wrestling match are not the only deciding factors you’re at a disadvantage giving up 5 inches of height and 47 pounds of weight to me. The other thing I wish to mention is that you selected the wrong time to come out of retirement because at Climax Control 266 I will quickly send you back into retirement.

This time a huge grin comes on Bill’s face.  

Bill:  What’s it gonna to be Kris? Are you gonna be stubborn and defiant against me and risk permanent injury or will you be smart and realize I own you and the only way you get out of the match without extreme damage is to tap out and submit to me? The football is in your hands. Make sure you don’t fumble it.

Bill informs the studio crew he is done with his comments for this segment and he starts packing up his items to leave the studio. As he packs his things the scene slowly fades out and transitions into a commercial break.


115
Climax Control Archives / Dmiti is a scammer and I am exposing him
« on: March 26, 2020, 08:58:54 AM »
 SCAMMERS

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart previously talked about receiving junk mail that is sent from scammers trying to scam you or by pretending to be someone or some agency they are not. Today we are on the subject of scammers who call you on the phone when you did not ask them to contact you. And, as always, Bill “The Analogy King” Barnhart will probably figure a way to bring the concept of scammers to the subject of wrestlers.

OFF CAMERA

* A segment runs that was recorded prior to Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, making the trip to Las Vegas, Nevada, to participate in Climax Control 265 *

Bill Barnhart is sitting on his couch in his living room at his home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He is holding his home phone in one hand and his cell phone in his other hand.

Bill:  I kid you not. In a one month period I get around thirty scam phone calls. Yes you heard me correctly. I get approximately one scam phone call per day. Some are people trying to sell me something. Others try to claim they are from Microsoft Support, that my computer notified them that there is a virus on my computer and if I pay them hundreds of dollars they will remove the virus for me. Others are just morons who call and stay silent and you have no clue what in the hell they are calling about.

Iris the English Bulldog runs into the living room and jumps up on the couch to snuggle with Daddy Bill. He caresses Iris and she enjoys the attention.

Bill:  Here are the laws pertaining to unsolicited and scammer callers. The laws state that the phone number they are calling from must be a valid phone number and show up on the Caller ID. Additionally the Caller ID has to be valid with the name of the caller. If the call is a recording they have to give you an option to speak to a human so you can tell them to *BLEEP* off and remove your phone number from their computer system. If they violate the laws then each violation comes with a $1,000 fine from the Government.

Iris jams her big head under the arm of Daddy Bill to ask for more petting. Bill pets Iris and she rolls onto her back to get a tummy rub.

Bill:  I stopped answering calls unless I know, beyond a doubt, the person calling is someone I know. If the phone number and Caller ID does not properly identify the caller I let it go to voicemail. If they are a valid caller they will leave a message and I will return their call. If they do not leave a message it means they are a scammer. And if they are a scammer and are stupid enough to leave a message I report them to the FCC Do Not Call Registry Complaint website and to the FBI Fraud Division. Since I am the Analogy King I can use the concept of scammer callers to most of the wrestlers I face. Most try to sell the fans, and other wrestlers, that they are something they are not just like the scammers who call you on the phone try to make you think they are something they are not. Bottom line those wrestlers are scamming the other wrestlers and the fans. They are all exposed in the end.

Iris asks for more petting from Daddy Bill and he humors her. After a short time Iris is satisfied with petting from Daddy Bill and she jumps off the couch and runs back upstairs to her bedroom.

The scene fades to black.

ON CAMERA

A scene opens on our screen. Bill Barnhart, Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, are seen sitting on the couch in their room at the Saxon Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada, and Climax Control 265 is being held at Skaggs Dungeon. The Staff and wrestlers were brought back from the overseas tour to remain in the United States until the Corona Virus thing is over so that is why this event is being held at Skaggs Dungeon in Las Vegas. At this event Bill is facing off against Dmitri. This match came about due to Dmitri issuing an open challenge to the members on the Roster and Bill Barnhart jumped up and accepted the challenge. The cameraman informs them they are live broadcasting so Bill and Bea jump into their comments for this upcoming match.

Bill: This is going to be a fun Climax Control for me since I get to face off against an old nemesis in Dmitri and. . .

The cell phone of Bill, that is on the coffee table, rings interrupting his comments. Bill looks at the caller ID which says UNKNOWN NUMBER so he ignores the call and lets it go to voicemail to see if the caller will leave a message.

Bill:  Most likely another scammer caller. Hope they leave a message on voicemail so if they are a scammer I have information to provide to the FCC and FBI when I report them. Since I got interrupted by a possible scam phone call, when I was about to talk about my match with Dmitri, I will let Bea make comments and then I will jump back in with my comments on Dmitri. Bea you said you had something important to state concerning the cancellation of the overseas tours until the Corona Virus thing passes so please go ahead with your comments.

Bea:  Thank you Bill. Before I discuss that issue I want to comment on the coward named Violet Amelia Holt attacking me recently. She is a coward because she lost to me twice, both by submission, yet she talks smack and attacks me. Her performance recently against Jessie Salco sums it up nicely. Once a loser always a loser. Now that is out of the way I can make the comments I need to make. Yes I will be in the corner of Bill, as his Manager, for his match against Dmitri, as I am no longer in the Blast From The Past Tournament, thanks to Travis Levitt blowing the Tournament for our team. Since Bill was also eliminated from the Tournament there is no longer a conflict with me being in his corner as his Manager.

Bill:  I thought you were going to comment on the cancellation of the overseas tour until the Corona Virus thing was over.

Bea:  I am getting to that. I needed to get those other comments out first. Now that I am done with those comments I wish to talk about the decision by Sin City Wrestling to cancel the overseas tour for a time until the Corona Virus thing passes. They made the decision to return our events to the United States to a venue, or venues, we know are protected and safe, until they are cleared to travel overseas again.

Bill:  Whatever Management decides is fine with me as I am here to serve Sin City Wrestling and not the other way around.

Bea:  Speaking for both of us I want you to know we are not overly concerned over the Corona Virus. Yes it is out there, and anyone can catch the virus, but over the years there has been things that come and go and to date we have not gotten ill from them. Things like SARS, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, Ebola, etc., have made the rounds and we are thankful that both of us, and Iris, have yet to become infected.  We are not saying we are immune, or that we will not get infected, but we believe prevention in keeping surfaces, and ourselves, clean is the key to not getting ill with an infection or virus.

Bill:  I do not want anyone to take the comments by Bea the wrong way as we are just as much a target to get infected as anyone else.

Bea:  As everyone knows Iris has what would classify as the most vile, evil, disgusting, and toxic, farts on the planet. At one fundraising event challenge Bill and Iris did, which was a stinky fart competition, Iris let loose one of the most vile farts in the history of vile farts, and it set off the fire sprinkler system at Georgia Gymnastics Academy in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where our fundraising event was being held, and Gwinnett County Fire Department had to send a Hazardous Material Clean-Up Crew to the building to contain the toxic spill Iris made and decontaminate the building to make it safe to occupy again. When you add into the mix that the farts of Iris can peel paint off walls, kills flies in mid-flight, knocks birds out of trees, and once she nearly caused a Boeing 747 to make an emergency landing with her smelly farts. If we have survived dealing with the vile toxic farts of Iris we are concerned, but not overly concerned, about contracting the Corona Virus. We are also taking every precaution to remain safe.

Bill:  Thanks for your comments Bea. People need to have background information to make a proper evaluation of things. Speaking of proper background information I would like to present history information between myself and Dmitri from the time we worked together in another wrestling federation.

Bea:  This is some good stuff.

Bill:  I served many years in another wrestling federation and Dmitri was also serving there. In that federation I faced off against Dmitri many times. I cannot give you a specific win-loss number we have against each other but I believe we are even in the wins and losses against the other. The problem I had with Dmitri was that he often cheated in matches then lied about his cheating. He also tried to take credit for a loss I took in Oakland, California, when the loss I took in the match was not a loss to him, as both of us lost to Casey Williams.

Bea:  The match took place in Oakland, California, which is the birthplace of Bill. At the time of the match mentioned it was also his home town as we were still living there as we did not move to the State of Georgia until August 2012. It was an interesting match where a retired Boeing 747 aircraft was used as the venue for a Triple Threat Hardcore Rules match consisting of Bill, Dmitri, and Casey Williams with the Boeing 747 aircraft parked in a remote area of Oakland International Airport.

Bill:  Most of what I relate here is first-hand knowledge as I was involved in the match. The other information I gained from watching the replay during those periods of time when I was knocked unconscious during the match. The Hardcore Rules match was going well with each of us getting the upper hand but nobody at that point in the match was able to get the win. The three of us were fighting it out in the main level of the Boeing 747 at the bottom of the spiral staircase that leads up to the First Class Lounge. Casey and Dmitri were violently fighting and they slammed into me and I tripped backward over something on the floor of the plane. Casey ran up the spiral staircase to the First Class Lounge with Dmitri behind him. I looked up and saw the two enter the First Class Lounge so I went for the stairway but one of the two, and I do not know which of them, kicked the spiral staircase loose and it crashed down on top of me and knocked me out.

Bea:  Casey and Dmitri kept fighting up in the First Class Lounge. After a period of time Bill regained consciousness. Bill was groggy and staggered over to where the spiral staircase used to be and he looked up into the First Class Lounge and he could see Dmitri and Casey in a violent fight. Bill realized he was not going to be able to get into the First Class Lounge, due to the spiral staircase having been knocked down, so he turned to see what he could find to stand on to try to get to the upper level where Casey and Dmitri were. The moment Bill turned his attention away from the First Class Lounge Casey grabbed Dmitri and threw him down the opening, where the spiral staircase used to be, and Dmitri landed on top of Bill knocking Bill out again.

Bill:  Here is where it get interesting and where Dmitri has, over the years, claimed a victory over me when he did not earn a victory over me. Watching the replay of the match I saw that when Dmitri was thrown down from the First Class Lounge by Casey Williams that Dmitri landed on top of me and knocked me out. Dmitri was not knocked out but he was in really bad shape and he could barely breathe let alone move. Casey slid to the opening where the spiral staircase used to me and he dropped down to the main level of the Boeing 747 aircraft and pinned Dmitri for the win. Even with absolute proof that Dmitri lost that match to Casey Williams, Dmitri claimed  he got the win over me in that match. Dmitri went beyond pathetic to claim a victory over me in a match where he was pinned by Casey for the loss. I will grant Casey Williams the respect that he won that Hardcore Rules match in a Boeing 747 aircraft in my home town of Oakland, California, and he is also the first wrestler to ever give me a loss in my home town of Oakland. Yes I did take a loss in the match, even though I was not the wrestler who was pinned or made to submit, as that is how Triple Threat Rules matches work. So when I saw Dmitri make the open challenge recently I immediately accepted his challenge so I can beat the lies out of him.

Bill grits his teeth and growls into the camera.

Bill:  The other reasons I immediately accepted Dmitri’s challenge is because Dmitri is like scammers who call on the phone and pretend to be someone, or something, they are not by claiming to have gotten the win over me in that match when he did not. Because it was Casey Williams who obtained the win in that match due to Triple Threat Rules and it was Dmitri who was directly pinned by Casey for the loss. Because it was Casey who earned my respect by being the first wrestler in my wrestling career to give me a loss in my home town not some clown who has been lying about the outcome of our match. Because I had to listen to years of Dmitri claiming he was the wrestler who defeated me in the Boeing 747 in Oakland, California, when he was not. Well, Dmitri, your bragging days are over! If you think you are going to walk into the Skaggs Dungeon and defeat me then you have been taking too many hallucinogenic drugs because you have been hallucinating for years thinking you were the wrestler to defeat me in the match I mentioned in the Boeing 747 in Oakland, California. But I can give you credit for one thing Dmitri. You earned the Sin City Wrestling Heavyweight Championship on September 3, 2017, by defeating Calvin Harris. But, and this is a big BUT Dmitri, you lost the Heavyweight Championship back to Calvin Harris three weeks later on September 24, 2017. Perhaps holding a Championship for three weeks is classified by you as a great accomplishment but I consider that short Championship run to be a great failure on your part. Hell, man, you may not even last three minutes in our match before I defeat you! But, Dmitri, there is a THREE you will clearly hear during our match. It is the ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! the Referee will count when I pin you and I get the win.

Bill smiles into the camera.

Bill:  Dmitri for as long as I have known you the bragging and scare tactics you try to use on other wrestlers is disgusting. You tend to represent yourself as the keeper of Hell and stand guard over the entrance to Hell. I am sure, Dmitri, you have heard the Tom Petty song titled I Won’t Back Down, and even if you have not heard of it I will sing for you the beginning of the song so you will understand.

Bill launches into the beginning of the song I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty.

Bill:

Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won't back down

Bill is done with singing the opening of the song I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty. The cameraman gets a close-up of Bill for his closing comments.

Bill:  Dmitri I will destroy you  at Climax Control 265 and send you on your way to the Retirement Home. If you think I am joking then get your laughing out of the way now because you will not be laughing after I win our match and leave you beaten and broken inside the ring. Have a great time leading up to our match because you are going to have the worst time of your life after I defeat you.

Bill motions to the cameraman to indicate he is done with his comments for his upcoming match. The cameraman calls into the Network and they tell him to cut his camera feed. He does so and our screen goes to black.

116
Climax Control Archives / Bill Barnhart the All-Around Guy
« on: March 10, 2020, 03:57:45 PM »
 BILL BARNART THE ALL-AROUND GUY

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is an all-around wrestler but he is also an all-around guy when it comes to doing things around his house. When you find out how versatile and talented he is around the house you will better understand why he is versatile and talented in the wrestling ring.

OFF CAMERA

Bill Barnhart is in the kitchen at his home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He is wearing a white apron and we see he is making lasagna. When he is done putting the lasagna together he places it into the preheated oven, sets the timer, then he removes the apron and exits the kitchen.

Bill pulls out the vacuum cleaner from the laundry room and he vacuums the living room and play room downstairs then he moves to the upstairs area to vacuum the three bedrooms, the hallway, and the stairway. When he is done he empties what the vacuum cleaner picked up into the trash can and returns the vacuum cleaner to the laundry room.

We see Bill holding a large basket of laundry. He brings the laundry to the laundry room, opens the washing machine, puts laundry soap inside, places the clothes into the washer, then presses the start button and the washing machine starts up.

Bill travels to the bedrooms and bathrooms and empties the trash cans into a large trash bag. He takes the large trash bag downstairs and places it into the trash can that is located under a counter in the kitchen. Bill takes the bag out of the trash can, ties the bag closed, then takes it outside to deposit it into the trash can for the trash company to pick up on Thursday.

About two hours later.

Bill takes the laundry out of the dryer and he quickly folds everything that requires folding and hangs items on hangers that need to be hung up in the closets.

The oven times goes off and beeps to indicate the time set on the timer has completed counting down. Bill walks into the kitchen looks into the oven and sees his lasagna is done cooking. He turns off the oven timer and the oven, dons oven mittens, and removes the pan with the lasagna dish on it. He places the lasagna on top of the oven to wait for it cool down so it can be eaten without burning your mouth. Bill looks as his masterpiece lasagna and a huge smile comes on his face.

ON CAMERA

Bill and Bea Barnhart, along with their English Bulldog Iris, have returned to their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia, to take care of stuff before heading off to England for Climax Control 263. This edition of Climax Control is being held in Canterbury, Kent, England, at the Colyer-Fergusson Music Building. At this Climax Control Bill, and his partner Andrea Hernandez, will be facing off against the team of Diamond and Javi Gonzalez in their second Blast From The Past Tournament match.

Bill:  Welcome once again to our home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Yes, I know, we were just in England for Climax Control 262 so you want to know why we spent the time and money to return home to Lawrenceville, Georgia, before traveling to England again. Because we enjoy traveling and we can afford it so no reason we cannot do what we want to do and have fun doing it. At this edition of Climax Control me and Andrea Hernandez face off against Diamond and Javi Gonzalez in our second Blast From The Past Tournament. The winner of this match, our team of course, will advance in the Tournament while the losers of the match, Javi and Diamond, will go home as losers and watch us continue to be successful in the Blast From The Past Tournament, advance all the way to the finals, and win the entire event. There is no doubt we will win the entire Tournament as I am a great all-around wrestler and I take care of things that need to be taken care of. Andrea is in the same frame of mind I am that she takes care of things that need to be taken care of and she is a great wrestler. By the way, Bea, while me and Andrea will continue to win in the Blast From The Past Tournament you seem to have come up short in your Tournament match at Climax Control 262. At least that frees you up now to be in my corner at Climax Control 263 as my Manager since there is no conflict now.

A smile comes on the face of Bill and he laughs.

Bea Barnhart:  So you think it is funny that I lost my Blast From The Past Tournament match? I do not feel losing a Tournament match due to a partner failing to carry his weight in the match is funny. Lazy performance in a wrestling match is never acceptable.

Bill:  Bea you know for you to lose a match is not amusing for me. I feel your pain. But you have to admit you did a lot of bragging for being a rookie wrestler and you ended up bragging more than your team was able to deliver.

Bea:  I would not say our team was not able to deliver. I was able to deliver and I did but Travis Levitt failed to deliver and Jake Raab took him out for the win. We will get revenge on him soon.

Bill:  If that will make you feel better then go for it.

Bea:  I want to inform everyone that Bill Barnhart is a great all-around guy not just in the wrestling ring but also at home. Bill washes clothes, folds them, irons them, hangs them up and puts them in the dressers, vacuums and sweeps the floors and carpets, empties the trash, and cooks half the meals in our home. He also takes care of Iris which is not an easy chore. Today Bill is cooking a chicken in our slow cooker and I know this will be another one of his epic meals. Bill is the dream man every woman wishes they had.

Bill:  I may not be the dream man every woman wishes for but I am the dream wrestler everyone wants as their partner. I am sure I am the type of wrestling tag team partner Diamond wishes she had instead of getting stuck with Javi Gonzales with bad luck hitting her on the drawing of names for teams.

Bea:  Since you love analogies do you have some you wish to present to the viewers that link to your Blast From The Past Tournament match?

Bill:  I always have analogies to present so here are my analogies using the things I do around the house to focus on wrestling and opponents. I cook great dishes in the kitchen. I can cook for you two an ass kicking casserole that will leave you  with a sore butt for a week. I can whip up an omelet with everything I can think of rolled up inside of it and cram it down your throats and choke what little wrestling ability you have out of you. I wash dirty wrestlers like I wash dishes. I wash clothes to get the dirty stuff out of them and I will wash the dirty stuff out of you two. I will vacuum you two like I vacuum our carpets then dump your filth into the trash can. I bag trashy wrestlers like you, like I bag the trash here at home, and take you out to the trash container for the trash company to pick up and take to the County dump to bury you in the landfill. If you do not like me doing all those things to you then you have options available. If you do not wish to face off against Andrea Hernandez and me then your first option is to no-show for the match and we will take the default win because you are cowards. Your second option is to crawl in to the office of Management and beg them to postpone our match so you can face a team that is less awesome than we are. Good luck with that attempt. Your final option, when the other options fail, is to get your pathetic asses into the ring at Climax Control 263 and wrestle against our team. No matter what option, or options, you are able to obtain, the end result is the same. Our team wins and your team loses.

Bea:  Oooooo Bill! You are sooooo sexy when you talk smack!

Bill:  I am sooooo sexy all the time. And I am not talking smack. I am talking truth.

Bea:  I would like to ask you a question I am sure many viewers want to ask. Would you say your comments about Javi and Diamond will cause them to be butt hurt by your comments?

Bill:  I do not give a damn if they are butt hurt over my comments. I am not here to stroke other wrestlers, smile at them, and make them feel good. I am here to punch other wrestlers, snarl at them, and make them feel as worthless as they truly are. I am not going to stop telling the truth about opponents because they do not like what I say. When you are a one-dimensional wrestler, two-dimensional at best, as Diamond and Javi are, they tend to get offended by everyone who is better than they are.

Bea:  Okay.

Iris, their English Bulldog, walks into the room and she looks around with her typical confused look and then she decides to walk over to Daddy Bill to ask for petting. Bill starts to pet Iris and she lets out soft moaning and then she drops to the floor and flips on her back to get her tummy rubbed. Daddy Bill rubs the tummy of Iris and she is enjoying it so much she is about to pass out. When Bill stops rubbing the tummy of Iris she reaches up with her paw and drags the hand of Daddy Bill back to her tummy for more tummy rubs.

Bill:  Listen carefully Javi and Diamond. Me and Andrea are thrilled we have the opportunity to show the world we are better wrestlers than you are and better than you can ever hope to be. The benefit our team has is Andrea is a fantastic wrestler who stays focused in her matches. She takes advantage of the slightest mistake made by opponents. If you do not believe me on that statement ask Bea as she made a mistake in her match against Andrea and took a loss when Andrea took advantage of her mistake.

Bea:  Hey!

Bill:  Hey what? You held your own in that match with Andrea for a time but when you made an error during the match Andrea quickly took advantage of it and you lost. As for our opponents at Climax Control 263 when you doubt and hesitate yourselves you have already lost the match.

Iris is running around giving the indication she wants to go out to potty. Since Bill wants to take a walk he decides to bring Iris out on her leash to take her on her potty break walk. Once the leash is attached to the collar of Iris the two head for the front door where Bill stops for a moment to make closing comments.

Bill:  Diamond and Javi I could claim I feel sorry for you two but that would be a lie and I am not a liar. I do not care about you two. I do not feel sorry for you. I do not care if your feelings get hurt when we defeat you. You can beg, plead, and cry, for mercy but you will not receive any from me or Andrea. We are in this Blast From The Past Tournament match to win and advance in the Tournament. We did not enter the Tournament to lose. We entered the Tournament to win. But not just to win a match or two but to win the entire Tournament. You need to deal with that because you do not have a choice in the outcome of our match. We will out-wrestle, out-maneuver, and out-class you so that you two will be so humiliated you will wear brown paper bags over your heads for weeks to hide your identities. Thanks for tuning in with me but I have had enough of talking to our pathetic opponents. I need to get Iris on her potty break walk so she does not have an accident on our carpet.

Bill opens the front door and he and Iris go outside. Bill closes and locks the front door and the scene ends.


117
Climax Control Archives / Mean What You Say
« on: March 04, 2020, 10:06:20 AM »
 SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart has taken on the mental attitude of her husband, Bill Barnhart, in that she says what she means and means what she says. I will turn you over to Bea Barnhart who is presenting her comments for today from the conference room at the Bootham Crescent, in York, England which is where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 262. This is the event where Bea, along with her tag team partner Travis Levitt, wrestle in their Blast From The Past Tournament match against the team of Denise Andrews and Jake Raab.

The scene switches to a shot of Bea Barnhart in a Conference Room at the Bootham Crescent in York, England, where she is presenting comments. Bea is standing at the podium on the stage and she is dressed in her trademark blue dress she usually wears when serving as the Manager for her husband Bill Barnhart during his wrestling matches. There is a bottle of water on the podium but we also notice an empty bottle that looks like the type of bottle you purchase salad dressing in. There is a large television screen hanging on the wall behind her.

Bea:  Good afternoon. Thank you for attending my presentation. I have several items to present so please be patient. After I am done I will take questions from the audience. Let me start my comments by stating that my husband, Bill Barnhart, always states that you should say what you mean and mean what you say. I will now ask the people in the broadcast studio to please put the graphic I gave to them on the screen behind me.

The broadcast studio puts up the graphic they received from Bea and it shows up on the large screen behind her.

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Bea:  You see the graphic on the screen. It says you need to say what you mean and mean what you say. Going into my match against Seleana Zdunich I said I was going to take the match to her. Of course I also stated I was going to defeat her but that is common sense if you are a wrestler. If you go into your match commenting that you expect to lose then you will, in fact, lose, I went into that match to win and that is how I performed during the match. I said what I meant and I meant what I said. I did, in fact, take it to Seleana in the match. You saw that both of us had many opportunities for the win and neither of us backed down from the other. It was toward the end of the match that I made a mistake that Seleana took advantage of and she got the pinfall win over me. Although I did not get the win I proved I can hold my own in any type of wrestling match. Congrats on your win Seleana. I honestly appreciate opponents who can get a clean win over me. Maybe somewhere down the way we will have another match. It would be a pleasure to face off against you again. You can take the graphic off the screen now.

The graphic comes off the screen and Bea continues with her comments.

Bea:  On March 8, 2020, we go into Climax Control 262. At this event me, and my tag team partner, Travis Levitt, take on the team of Denise Andrews and Jake Raab in our Blast From The Past Tournament match. Travis it is my extreme pleasure to be teamed with you in the Tournament. We intend to win this match and move on in the Tournament. That is what we say and that is what we mean. If everyone was paying attention at Climax Control 261 you saw that my husband, Bill Barnhart, and his tag team partner Andrea Hernandez, won their Blast From The Past Tournament match against the team of Chris Crippler and Bella Madison. I keep teasing Bill that there is a chance our teams could meet in the Blast From the Past Tournament if both our teams keep winning. With Andrea and Bill winning their match in the Tournament it gives me extra initiative for me and Travis to win our Tournament match. But I have talked enough about Bill and Andrea. I am here to discuss what our team will accomplish in the Blast From The Past Tournament.

Bea pauses for a moment to take a sip of water. We are, however, still wondering what the other bottle, the empty bottle, on the podium is for.

Bea:  What I see with our opponents is that Jake Raab is a drag chute for their team and he will drag Denise Andrews down to defeat against us. I realize Jake has had success against a few wrestlers in Singles competition but there is a huge difference between relying on yourself and now having to rely on your tag team partner. I feel sorry for you Denise. You got stuck with an off-the-wall, volatile, unpredictable, and unreliable partner who doubts his wrestling abilities. On the other hand I have Travis Levitt as my partner. Travis you have proven to be reliable, you have defeated several top names here, and you are confident of your wrestling abilities. I honestly feel sorry for others in the Blast From The Past Tournament who got stuck with unreliable and lame partners.

Bea takes another sip of water. She then reaches under the podium and she pulls out a small bottle of oil and another bottle of vinegar.

Bea:  Before I answer questions from those selected from the audience I wish to give a visual depiction of our opponents.

We watch as Bea opens the empty bottle then she opens the bottle of oil and the bottle of vinegar and she pours equal amounts of oil and vinegar into the empty bottle. Bea closes the oil and vinegar bottles and returns them inside the podium. She then places the cap on the bottle she just filled with equal amounts of oil and vinegar and shakes the bottle vigorously until the two substances appear to be mixed together. Bea places the shaken bottle of oil and vinegar on top of the podium where the camera person gets a shot of it and it is displayed on the large screen behind Bea. In a short amount of time the oil and vinegar separate with the oil floating on top of the vinegar proving the saying that oil and vinegar do not mix well.

Bea:  I just gave you a presentation of how well Jake Raab and Denise Andrews will be able to mix and work together. One is oil and the other is vinegar and the two will not mix for any significant length of time as the two will quickly separate and their team will self-destruct in the match. I will let you decide which of them is represented by the oil and which one is represented by the vinegar. I have my opinion on which each is but I will not spoil your guesses. I feel bad for our opponents since one of them ended up with a questionable partner while me and Travis both ended up with an outstanding partner. I will now take questions from the audience. I have time for three questions.

The staff working the press conference selects a woman from the audience.

Woman:  Why did you become the Manager for Bill Barnhart and then go into active wrestling in the Bombshell Division? Were you not satisfied working as his Manager which was a safer position for you to be in?

Bea:  I signed up to work in the Bombshell Division because I am not able to wrestle in the Male division. Just kidding! It was Bill who suggested I try out as a wrestler. After training with him, and another trainer, I started feeling confident and comfortable in the ring. Being new to the concept of being a wrestler I have a 2-2-0 win-loss record which I feel is normal for a rookie. When you  take into account my two wins were by submission, and my two losses were by pinfall, you see I am okay as both my losses came at the hands of opponents who got a clean win. I am still officially the Manager for Bill.

The staff working the press conference select a man from the audience.

Man:  Why are you so confident you can defeat Denise Andrews and Jake Raab in the Blast From The Past Tournament when you are 0-1 in Mixed Tag Team competition? Also since Jake Raab currently has two wins over Bill Barnhart how can you call him pathetic, distracted, and a person who is doubting his wrestling abilities?

Bea picks up the bottle containing the oil and vinegar that separated from each other. She then shakes the bottle again and the oil and vinegar mix up for a moment before separating again with the vinegar on the bottom and the oil floating on top of the vinegar.

Bea:  Because I am confident of my wrestling abilities and I have a great partner in Travis Levitt. Add into the mix that Jake Raab spends more time taking negatively about his own wrestling abilities and you have a recipe for failure on his part. As far as Denise Andrews she is the daughter of Travis Nathaniel Andrews. If you look at one of the other wrestler who came into Sin City Wrestling as the daughter from a wrestling family you come up with Violet Amelia Holt. Now take into account I defeated Violet twice by submission once with a sleeper hold and once with a figure-four leg lock. Just because you are a child of a wrestler, or you come from a family of wrestlers, does not equate into you being successful as a wrestler. While our opponents have three strikes against them me and Travis Levitt are standing at the plate ready to hit the pitches for grand slam home runs. While me and Travis mix together and function exceptionally well as a team you will see that Jake and Denise will not mix together, and not work together, just as the oil and vinegar in this bottle quickly separated.

Bea points to the bottle of oil and vinegar that again separated with the vinegar on the bottom and the oil floating on top of it. The staff working the press conference walks around and selects another woman from the crowd to ask a question to Bea.

Woman:  If you win your Blast From The Past Tournament match and end up having to face the team of Andrea Hernandez and Bill Barnhart would you throw the match so Bill and Andrea can move on in the Tournament?

Bea:  Hell no! If that scenario plays out where our two teams meet in the Blast From The Past Tournament I will go all out to win the match and move on in the Tournament. One thing I learned from Bill is to never have doubt, never back down, and never take a dive in a match. I discussed this with Travis and he knows I will not treat a match against the team of Andrea Hernandez and Bill Barnhart any differently than other teams. We are in the Blast From The Past Tournament to win it all and we start that winning streak by defeating Jake Raab and Denise Andrews at Climax Control 262.

More people in the audience want to ask questions but Bea told them she would take three questions to answer and she did that so the press conference is over.

Bea:  Sorry but I could only take three questions. Thanks for coming to my press conference but it is over now.

Bea turns and walks away from the podium, down the steps from the stage, and out the door into the hallway. When the door to the conference room closes after her the cameraman cuts his feed and the screen goes black.


118
Climax Control Archives / Time For Someone To Find A New Home
« on: February 24, 2020, 04:03:06 PM »
 NEW HOME

Narrator:  I wish to offer congratulations to Bea Barnhart for her win over Violet Amelia Holt at My Bloody Valentine 3 to earn Number One Contender for the Bombshell Roulette Championship. I will now ask a question. What is is like moving to a new home? If your family purchases a new home and sells the old one it is a nice experience. If you are unfortunate and something happens to your home and the insurance company refuses to pay to have your home rebuilt then your experience might be a devastating one.

OFF CAMERA

We see Bea Barnhart walking in one of the shopping areas in downtown Lawrenceville, Georgia. Bea and Bill have remained in Lawrenceville, Georgia, but they will be traveling shortly to Scotland to be in place for Climax Control 261. Bea is looking in the windows of the various shops to see what they might have that she would want to go in and look at. As she is walking down the sidewalk she comes upon a homeless woman who asks her for money and food.

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The graphic Bea asked the Network to put up is on our screen. We need no explanation of the graphic as it speaks for itself. After a short time the Network removes the graphic and we return to a shot of Bea Barnhart.

Bea: Selena you can talk all the smack you want because talk is cheap. I did not just toss words around and fail in what I said I would accomplish in the sport of wrestling. I let my actions speak for me and validate my words. Now I am Number One Contender for the Bombshell Roulette Championship and I plan to dominate in Sin City Wrestling and the wrestling world every day of the week. And as I previously said you can say what you want about me but in the end you have to deal with the fact that I am the Number One Contender for the Roulette Championship and you are not!

Bea swats at a wasp that buzzed around her glass of sweet tea and the wasp decided to fly off.

Bea:  When I get my match to challenge for the Bombshell Roulette Championship I was told it should be against Candy. However there is no guarantee she will still be Roulette Champion when I am scheduled for that match. That is okay as I do not care if I am facing Candy or anyone else. I earned this Contendership for the Bombshell Roulette Championship and I am not going to waste it. Candy is the NOW of Sin City Wrestling but I am the FUTURE of Sin City Wrestling. And where does that place you Selena? You are so far down below me that you need the Hubble Space Telescope to see up to the level of my wrestling boots!

Bea appears to be ready to end the presentation for today but she continues with additional comments.

Bea:  I would like to close with comments on the Blast From the Past Tournament. I am teamed with Travis Levitt. Travis is accomplished in the wrestling ring and he defeated Caleb Storms recently which is not easy to do. I feel we have a great chance to make it to the final match and win this tournament.

Bea indicates to the cameraman she is done with her comments for today. The cameraman calls into the Network and they tell him to go ahead and cut his camera feed and he does and our screen goes black.


119
Climax Control Archives / Bill Takes Iris For A Walk
« on: February 24, 2020, 04:01:39 PM »
 BILL TAKES IRIS FOR A WALK IN SWEET WATER PARK IN LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA

Narrator:  Bill and Bea Barnhart live in Lawrenceville, Georgia, about one mile from Sweet Water Park. They have remained in Georgia but will be traveling Scotland in a few days to be in place for Climax Control 261. Bill is taking their English Bulldog Iris for a walk in Sweet Water Park so I will turn you over to Bill and Iris in the park.

We get a shot of Bill Barnhart taking Iris for a walk in Sweet Water Park. Bill has a pink leash attached to the pink diamond-studded dog collar Iris is wearing. Bill looks up and sees the ever-present cameraman aiming his camera at him.

Bill Barnhart:  I am taking Iris for a walk to ensure she does her potty thing here so she will not have to pee and poop when we get home and have an accident inside the house. At least here in Sweet Water Park I can pick up the poop with a poop bag and throw it in one of their trash cans. If I Let Iris poop at home I still pick it up with a poop bag but then it has to go into my trash container at home and I have to clean the carpet. If you are familiar with the stench Iris can create with the stuff she eats and drinks you know why I would rather deposit her poop in the trash cans at the park. To be honest Gwinnett County Parks Department should thank me for doing that because once I drop a bag of poop Iris deposited in one of their trash cans all the bugs, flies, and rodents, leave the park and migrate to a safer environment. But does Gwinnett County Parks Department thank me for offering our free pest eradication services? Nope! Ungrateful! Come on Iris. Enjoy the park and let your stuff fly. Do your thing girl.

Iris sniffs around to try to find just the right spot to pee and poop. It is a doggy thing, code, law, or something, for dogs that if you miss just the right spot all the other dogs will tease you about missing the spot and that doggy teasing can be brutal. Iris finds what Bill believes is one of those just the right spots and he is correct. Iris sniffs deeply and then she squats and poops in the exact spot where she was sniffing. When done Iris steps forward and then does the typical doggy thing of kicking her back legs spraying up dust and rocks in the direction of her poop. Bill brings out a poop bag and picks up the poop Iris deposited. The stench makes Bill gag. He walks over to the nearest trash can, lifts the lid, and drops the bag of poop into the trash can. Immediately flies hurry to leave the stench inside the trash can but most of the flies only make it about two feet falling to the ground dead.

Bill Barnhart:  That is a good item to make an analogy concerning my upcoming match at Climax Control 261 which is a Blast From the Past opening round match. My partner in the Blast From the Past tournament is a very accomplished and exciting wrestler Andrea Hernandez. Our opponents are Chris Crippler and Bella Madison. Although I cannot legitimately say you two are bum opponents, because you are not, the fact remains that we will defeat you and move on in the Blast From the Past tournament. Once we slam dunk you two,  in just the right spot, I can turn and kick up a cloud of dust and rocks at you, just as Iris did to her pile of poop, in a symbolic gesture that our team is burying your team in the tournament.

Bill and Iris continue their walk and Iris makes sure to pee on nearly every plant, bush, tree, and blade of grass, she can get close to. Satisfied that Iris has cleaned herself out enough to avoid an accident back at home the two turn and head back to their car for the short drive home.

Bill Barnhart:  I feel bad leaving Bea at home while I took Iris for a walk in Sweet Water Park but I know she enjoys the time we are out of the house so she can have some quiet time. Speaking of leaving Bea out of the action that is what will happen during my Blast From the Past match at Climax Control 261. Andrea I have assured you that even though Bea is officially my Manager she is banned from ringside during our match with Chris Crippler and Bella Madison. She knows I want us to win cleanly and fairly and if she were at ringside during our match everyone would try to find a way to say she had a hand in the match. I know you initially had an issue with me being selected as your partner for the Blast From the Past tournament, as you defeated Bea in a match, but I am here to tell you that whatever is between you and Bea remains between you two. I am in the Blast From the Past tournament to win the event so you know you have a dedicated partner for the tournament.

After the short one mile drive back to their home Bill parks his car in the driveway and he walks to the house with Iris. We notice a sign posted on the gate on the fence around the house, and the same sign posted on the front door of the house.

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We cannot help but chuckle at that sign because we are aware of the attitudes of both Bill Barnhart and Iris his English Bulldog.

The image comes off the screen. As soon as Bill and Iris step into the house.

Bill:  Ha ha ha!!!

Bea:  What are you laughing about?

Bill:  The sign on our gate and front door that says to do not mind the dog but beware the owner. That fits into my match at the Blast From the Past tournament against Chris Crippler and Bella Madison. They do not need to beware of my dog Iris, they need to beware of me and Andrea Hernandez.

Bea:  You are teamed with the woman who defeated me in a match recently.

Bill:  Oooooo do I feel some jealousy Bea? Remember you are not allowed at ringside during our match even though you are my Manager. Iris can come to ringside if she wants but you must remain in the backstage area or in our dressing room.

Bea:  Yeah, okay, I hear you on that one.

Bea sniffs the air.

Bea:  *sniff sniff* Okay which one of you died and smells like a broken septic tank?

Bill points his finger at Iris and Iris stretches out her paw pointing at Daddy Bill.

Bea:  Iris I know the smell your Daddy is capable of making and he could not have possibly manufactured that horrible of a smell. That means it was you Iris and since you stink worse than being downwind from a Pig farm you are going to get a bath.

The moment the word BATH comes out of the mouth of Bea we watch Iris freak out and run up the stairs where she scoots under the bed in her bedroom to try to avoid bath time.

Bea:  Enjoy hiding for now Iris as you will get a bath today as you have no choice.

Bill:  Wow, Bea, I initially felt bad that you did not want to come with us to Sweet Water Park to take Iris for a walk but I realize you enjoy the quiet time you get when I take Iris out. I am very sorry the poop or Iris was so nasty that the smell stayed close to her. Once you give her a bath she will smell good again. I mean smelling good for an English Bulldog anyway.

Bea:  Iris is a dog. She operates on doggy brain power which is not very intelligent and even more so due to her being an English Bulldog. Not bad when she has an accident at home but when we are on the road and in a hotel room or in our dressing room at a wrestling venue we have to pay for damages caused by Iris.

Bill:  Speaking of accidents and damages I have to say that Chris Crippler and Bella Madison were unfortunately drawn to be our opponents for the Blast From the Past tournament and the the damage we will put on them might put them out of action for some time.

Bill excuses himself to walk into the kitchen to get a can of Classic Coke. He pops the top and takes a drink. There is movement at the bottom of the stairway. Bill and Bea look over at the bottom of the stairway and the cameraman turns his camera to focus on that area also. We see Iris peeking around the corner. She must have heard the soda can opening so she came down to see if Daddy Bill would give her a drink. Bea plays the mean Mommy Bea by shouting something at Iris.

Bea:  BATH TIME IRIS!!!

Iris hears the word BATH and she runs up the stairs, into her bedroom, and dives under the bed to hide from having to take a bath. Bill and Bea enjoy a good hearty laugh at the expense of Iris.

Bill:  Har har har! Iris is doggone silly! Before I go into comments directed at Bella Madison and Chris Crippler for the Blast From the Past tournament I wish to talk about my match at My Bloody Valentine 3 against Senor Vinnie. It was a great match. Nobody got involved in the match to sway the decision on the match. Iris kept to herself and Pete the Cactus surprisingly behaved himself. However, as you saw at My Bloody Valentine 3, me and Senor Vinnie made a bet. Since I lost the match I also lost the bet. That means Pete the Cactus gets to have a date with Iris. Myself and Bea have decided we will not go on the date with the two to supervise them. We asked a friend of ours to go in our place as we have strong emotional ties to Iris and if Pete were to try something inappropriate we might get physical with him but our friend will be an impartial observer. To get back to my match with Senor Vinnie I commend Vinnie on his quick thinking in the match and getting the pinfall on me.

Bea leaves the room and heads upstairs. We hear the altercation she and Iris are having but when we hear Iris whining and crying and water running in the bathtub we realize Bea won the argument and Iris is getting a bath she does not enjoy getting.

Bill:  As everyone knows I am teamed with Andrea Hernandez in the Blast From The Past tournament.  Initially Andrea thought I would be a liability to her due to her defeating Bea recently in a wrestling match. So, Andrea, you now understand that I do not mind who I got teamed with in the Blast From the Past Tournament as I work well with everyone. Although there are many in the tournament who are a liability to their partner you are not one of them. Having you as my partner in the tournament is a blessing and an honor. I know you have come to understand where I stand on the tournament and you know I want to win the event. I do not care who we have to face after we eliminate Crippler and Madison but whoever is assigned to us as the tournament moves along will be defeated by us. As for Chris and Bella I will end my comments stating you two will dread the day you signed on to participate in the Blast From the Past Tournament as you will suffer a humiliating loss to me and Andrea. Have a nice day! Ha ha ha!!!

Bill motions to the cameraman to let him know his comments for this presentation are done. The cameraman calls into the Network and the Network cuts to regularly scheduled programming.


120
Climax Control Archives / CART
« on: January 29, 2020, 10:30:15 AM »
 OFF CAMERA

CART

We are taken inside the Kroger Grocery Store at 950 Herrington Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia, which is also commonly referred to as the Kroger Cruse Crossing store. We see Bea Barnhart walking around the grocery store pushing a shopping cart. Bea reaches the end of aisle two where she turns and starts down the aisle three. About half the way down the aisle Bea is blocked from maneuvering her shopping cart down the aisle due to an inconsiderate woman shopper parking their cart where is is blocking the aisle.

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An image of a trash dumpster shows up on the screen. We are surprised that Bea Barnhart has taken her comments to this level but at the same time we understand why she did it.

Bea:  Enjoy the cart ride!

The image of the trash dumpster goes off the screen and we return to a shot of Bea Barnhart as she takes another drink of water before continuing with her comments.

MISTAKES

Bea:  Andrea there are several things I am sure of. I am sure you take me lightly in our match and I enjoy having that advantage. Taking me lightly will result in me getting the win over you. You think because you got a few wins here that your shit does not stink? I assure you the talk in the backstage area is that when you take a dump the stench is so bad the HAZMAT crew has to be called in. How are we matched up for our match? We are basically the same height and weight so there is no advantage in those areas. I understand you are basically a high flying technical wrestler and you already know I am a technical wrestler who is quick on her feet. With us not having a height or weight advantage over the other this match comes down to who can take advantage of the mistakes of others. Oh, Andrea, I plan on exposing your mistakes in the ring so that Christina Rosa will have a shopping cart full of mistakes you know how to make so when you have your match with her she will make quick work of you. Although everyone makes mistakes in the wrestling ring there are those, like myself, who make less mistakes than others. Be ready to take the loss to me because I am damn sure ready to take the win over you!

Bea informs the cameraman she is done with her comments. She looks over at Bill who gives Bea a thumbs up sign concerning her presentation. Iris just sniffs around the hotel room being the typical English Bulldog. The presentation of Bea is over and the Network cuts to a commercial break.


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